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Montaigne's Essays
CHAPTER XXXIII: THAT FORTUNE IS
OFTENTIMES
MET WITHALL IN PURSUIT OF REASON
CHAPTER XXXIII: THAT FORTUNE IS
OFTENTIMES
MET WITHALL IN PURSUIT OF REASON
HE
INCONSTANCIE of Fortunes diverse wavering is the cause shee should
present
us with all sorts of visages. Is there any action of justice more
manifest
than this? Cesar Borgia, Duke of Valentinois, having
resolved
to Adrian, Cardinall of Cornetto, with whom Pope Alexander
the sixth, his father, and he were to sup that night in Vaticane,
sent certaine bottles of empoysoned wine before, and gave his butler
great
charge to have a speciall care of it. The Pope comming thither before
his
sonne, and calling for some drinke, the butler supposing the wine had
beene
so carefully commended unto him for the goodnesse of it, immediately
presented
some unto the Pope, who whilest he was drinking his sonne came in, and
never imagining his bottles had beene toucht, tooke the cup and pledged
his father, so that the Pope died presently; and the sonne, after he
had
long time been tormented with sicknesse, recovered to another worse
fortune.
It somtimes seemeth that when we least think on her, shee is pleased to
sport with us. The Lord of Estree, then guidon to the Lord of Vandosme,
and the Lord of Liques, Lieutenant to the Duke of Ascot,
both servants to the Lord of Foungueselles sister, albeit of
contrarie
factions (as it hapneth among neigbouring bordurers) the Lord of Liques
got her to wife: But even upon his wedding day, and which is worse,
before
his going to bed, the bridegroome desiring to breake a staffe in favour
of his new Bride and Mistris, went out to skirmish neere to Saint Omer
where the Lord of Estree being the stronger, tooke him
prisoner,
and to endeare his advantage, the Lady her selfe was faine,
Conjugis ante
coacta
novi dimittere collum, Quam veniens una atque altera
rursus heyems. Noctib us in longis avidum
saturraset
amorem, --Catul. Ele. iv. 81.
Her new feeres necke forced
was she
to forgoe,
Ere winters one and two,
returning
sloe,
In long nights had ful-fil'd
Her love so eager wil'd,
in courtesie, to sue unto him for
the
deliverie of his prisoner, which he granted; the French Nobilitie never
refusing Ladies any kindnesse. Seemeth she not to be a right artist? Constantine,
the sonne of Helen, founded the Empire of Constantinople,
and so, many ages after, Constantine the sonne of Helen
ended
the same. She is sometimes pleased to envie our miracles: we hold an
opinion,
that King Clovis besieging Angoulesme, the wals by a
divine
favour fell of themselves. And Bouchet borroweth of some
author,
that King Robert beleagring a Citie, and leaving secretly
stolne
away from the siege to Orleans, there to solemnize the feasts
of
Saint Aignan, as he was in his earnest devotion, upon a
certaine
passage of the Masse, the walles of the towne, besieged without any
batterie,
fell flat to the ground. She did altogether contrarie in our warres of Millane;
for, Captaine Rense, beleagring the Citie of Eronna
for us, and having caused a forcible mine to be wrought under a great
curtine
of the walls, by force whereof, it being violently flowne up from out
the
ground, did notwithstanding, whole and unbroken, fall so right into his
foundation againe, that the besieged found no inconvenience at all by
it.
She sometimes playeth the Physitian. Jason Phereus, being
utterly
forsaken of all Physitians, by reason of an impostume he had in his
breast,
and desirous to be rid of it, though it were by death, as one of the
forlorne
hope, rusht into a battel amongst the thickest throng of his enemies,
where
he was so rightly wounded acrosse the body, that his impostume brake,
and
he was cured. Did shee not exceed the Painter Protogenes in the
skill of his trade? who having perfected the image of a wearie and
panting
dog, and in all parts over-tired, to his content, but being unable, as
he desired, lively to represent the drivel or slaver of his mouth,
vexed
against his owne worke, took his spunge, and, moist as it was with
divers
colours, threw it at the picture, with purpose to blot and deface all
hee
had done, fortune did so fitly and rightly carrie the same towards the
dogs chaps that there it perfectly finished what his art could never
attaine
unto. Doth she not sometimes addres e and correct our counsels? Isabell
Queene of England, being to repasse from Zeland into
her
Kingdome with an armie, in favour of her sonne against her husband, had
utterly beene cast away had she come unto the port intended, bemg there
expected by her enemies; but fortune, against her will, brought her to
another place, where shee safely landed. And that ancient fellow, who,
hurling a stone at a dog, misst him, and there withall hit and slew his
step-dame, had [he] not reason to pronounce this verse,
Ταυτοαμτονημωνκαλλιωβονλευται
Chance of it selfe, than wee,
Doth better say and see?
Fortune hath better advice
than
wee. Icetas had practised and suborned two souldiers to kill Timoleon,
then residing at Adrane in Sicily. They appointed a
time
to doe, as he should be assisting at some sacrifice; and scattering
themselves
amongst the multitude, as they were winking one upon another, to shew
how
they had a verie fit opportunitie to doe the deed, loe here a third
man,
that with a huge blow of a sword striketh one of them over the head,
and
fels him dead to the ground and so runs away. His fellow, supposing
himselfe
discovered and undone, runs to the altar, suing for sanctuarie, with
promise
to confesse the truth even as he was declaring the conspiracie, behold
the third man, who had likewise beene taken, whom as a murtherer the
people
tugged and haled through the throng toward Timoleon and the
chiefest
of the assembly, where he humbly calleth for mercy, alleaging that he
had
justly murthered the murtherer of his father, whom his good chance was
to finde there, averring by good witnesses before them all, that in the
Citie of the Leontines, his father had beene proditoriously
slaine
by him on whom he had now revenged himseIfe. In neede whereof, because
he had been so fortunate in seeking to right his fathers untimely
death,
to save the common father of the Sicilians from so imminent a
danger,
he had ten Attike mines awarded him. Thus Fortune in her directions
exceedeth
all the rules of humane wisdome. But to conclude: is not an expresse
application
of her favour, goodnesse, and singular pietie manifestly discovered in
this action? Ignatius, the Father and the Sonne, both banished by
proscription
by the Triumvirs of Rome, resolved on this generous act, to
yeeld
their lives one into anothers hands, and therebi frustrate the tyrants
cruelty. They furiously, with their keene rapiers drawne, ran one
against
another: Fortune so directed their points that each received his
mortall
stroke; adding to the honour of seld-seene an amity, that they had just
so much strength left them to draw their armed and bloudy hands from
out
their goared wounds, in that plight so fast to embrace and so hard to
claspe
one another, that the hangmen were forced, at one stroke and together,
to cut off both their heads; leaving their bodies for ever tied in so
honourable
a knot, and their wounds so joined, that they lovingly drew and suckt
each
others bloud, breath, and life.