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When Egbert Dormer died he left his two daughters utterly penniless
upon the world, and it must be said of Egbert Dormer that nothing
else could have been expected of him. The two girls were both
pretty, but Lucy, who was twenty-one, was supposed to be simple
and comparatively unattractive, whereas Ayala was credited --
as her somewhat romantic name might show -- with poetic charm
and a taste for romance. Ayala when her father died was nineteen.
We must begin yet a little earlier and say that there had been
-- and had died many years before the death of Egbert Dormer
-- a clerk in the Admiralty, by name Reginald Dosett, who, and
whose wife, had been conspicuous for personal beauty. Their charms
were gone, but the records of them had been left in various grandchildren.
There had been a son born to Mr Dosett, who was also a Reginald
and a clerk in the Admiralty, and who also, in his turn, had
been a handsome man. With him, in his decadence, the reader will
become acquainted. There were also two daughters, whose reputation
for perfect feminine beauty had never been contested. The elder
had married a city man of wealth -- of wealth when he married
her, but who had become enormously wealthy by the time of our
story. He had when he married been simply Mister, but was now
Sir Thomas Tringle, Baronet, and was senior partner in the great
firm of Travers and Treason. Of Traverses and Treasons there
were none left in these days, and Mr Tringle was supposed to
manipulate all the millions with which the great firm in Lombard
Street was concerned. He had married old Mr Dosett's eldest daughter,
Emmeline, who was now Lady Tringle, with a house at the top of
Queen's Gate, rented at £1,500 a year, with a palatial moor
in Scotland, with a seat in Sussex, and as many carriages and
horses as would suit an archduchess. Lady Tringle had everything
in the world; a son, two daughters, and an open-handed stout
husband, who was said to have told her that money was a matter
of no consideration.
The second Miss Dosett, Adelaide Dosett, who had been considerably
younger than her sister, had insisted upon giving herself to
Egbert Dormer the artist, whose death we commemorated in our
first line. But she had died before her husband. They who remembered
the two Miss Dosetts as girls were wont to declare that, though
Lady Tringle might, perhaps, have had the advantage in perfection
of feature and in unequalled symmetry, Adelaide had been the
more attractive from expression and brilliancy. To her Lord Sizes
had offered his hand and coronet, promising to abandon for her
sake all the haunts of his matured life. To her Mr Tringle had
knelt before he had taken the elder sister. For her Mr Progrum,
the popular preacher of the day, for a time so totally lost himself
that he was nearly minded to go over to Rome. She was said to
have had offers from a widowed Lord Chancellor and from a Russian
prince. Her triumphs would have quite obliterated that of her
sister had she not insisted on marrying Egbert Dormer.
Then there had been, and still was, Reginald Dosett, the son
of old Dosett, and the eldest of the family. He too had married,
and was now living with his wife; but to them had no children
been born, luckily, as he was a poor man. Alas, to a beautiful
son it is not often that beauty can be a fortune as to a daughter.
Young Reginald Dosett -- he is anything now but young -- had
done but little for himself with his beauty, having simply married
the estimable daughter of a brother clerk. Now, at the age of
fifty, he had his £900 a year from his office, and might have
lived in fair comfort had he not allowed a small millstone of
debt to hang round his neck from his earlier years. But still
he lived creditably in a small but very genteel house at Notting
Hill, and would have undergone any want rather than have declared
himself to be a poor man to his rich relations the Tringles.
Such were now the remaining two children of old Mr Dosett --
Lady Tringle, namely, and Reginald Dosett, the clerk in the Admiralty.
Adelaide, the beauty in chief of the family, was gone; and now
also her husband, the improvident artist, had followed his wife.
Dormer had been by no means a failing artist. He had achieved
great honour -- had at an early age been accepted into the Royal
Academy -- had sold pictures to illustrious princes and more
illustrious dealers, had been engraved and had lived to see his
own works resold at five times their original prices. Egbert
Dormer might also have been a rich man. But he had a taste for
other beautiful things besides a wife. The sweetest little phaeton
that was to cost nothing, the most perfect bijou of a little
house at South Kensington -- he had boasted that it might have
been packed without trouble in his brother-in-law Tringle's dining-room
-- the simplest little gem for his wife, just a blue set of china
for his dinner table, just a painted cornice for his studio,
just satin hangings for his drawing-room -- and a few simple
ornaments for his little girls; these with a few rings for himself,
and velvet suits of clothing in which to do his painting; these,
with a few little dinner parties to show off his blue china,
were the first and last of his extravagances. But when he went,
and when his pretty things were sold, there was not enough to
cover his debts. There was, however, a sweet savour about his
name. When he died it was said of him that his wife's death had
killed him. He had dropped his palette, refused to finish the
ordered portrait of a princess, and had simply turned himself
round and died.
Then there were the two daughters, Lucy and Ayala. It should
be explained that though a proper family intercourse had always
been maintained between the three families, the Tringles, the
Dormers, and the Dosetts, there had never been cordiality between
the first and the two latter. The wealth of the Tringles had
seemed to convey with it a fetid odour. Egbert Dormer, with every
luxury around him which money could purchase, had affected to
despise the heavy magnificence of the Tringles. It may be that
he affected a fashion higher than that which the Tringles really
attained. Reginald Dosett, who was neither brilliant nor fashionable,
was in truth independent, and, perhaps, a little thin-skinned.
He would submit to no touch of arrogance from Sir Thomas; and
Sir Thomas seemed to carry arrogance in his brow and in his paunch.
It was there rather, perhaps, than in his heart; but there are
men to whom a knack of fumbling their money in their pockets
and of looking out from under penthouse brows over an expanse
of waistcoat, gives an air of overweening pride which their true
idiosyncracies may not justify. To Dosett had, perhaps, been
spoken a word or two which on some occasion he had inwardly resented,
and from thenceforward he had ever been ready to league with
Dormer against the "bullionaire", as they agreed to call Sir
Thomas. Lady Tringle had even said a word to her sister, Mrs
Dormer, as to expenses, and that had never been forgiven by the
artist. So things were when Mrs Dormer died first; and so they
remained when her husband followed her.
Then there arose a sudden necessity for action, which, for a
while, brought Reginald Dosett into connexion with Sir Thomas
and Lady Tringle. Something must be done for the poor girls.
That the something should come out of the pocket of Sir Thomas
would have seemed to be natural. Money with him was no object
-- not at all. Another girl or two would be nothing to him --
as regarded simple expenditure. But the care of a human being
is an important matter, and so Sir Thomas knew. Dosett had not
a child at all, and would be the better for such a windfall.
Dosett he supposed to be -- in his, Dosett's way -- fairly well
off. So he made this proposition. He would take one girl and
let Dosett take the other. To this Lady Tringle added her proviso,
that she should have the choice. To her nerves affairs of taste
were of such paramount importance! To this Dosett yielded. The
matter was decided in Lady Tringle's back drawing-room. Mrs Dosett
was not even consulted in that matter of choice, having already
acknowledged the duty of mothering a motherless child. Dosett
had thought that the bullionaire should have said a word as to
some future provision for the penniless girl, for whom he would
be able to do so little. But Sir Thomas had said no such word,
and Dosett, himself, lacked both the courage and the coarseness
to allude to the matter. Then Lady Tringle declared that she
must have Ayala, and so the matter was settled. Ayala the romantic;
Ayala the poetic! It was a matter of course that Ayala should
be chosen. Ayala had already been made intimate with the magnificent
saloons of the Tringles, and had been felt by Lady Tringle to
be an attraction. Her long dark black locks, which had never
hitherto been tucked up, which were never curled, which were
never so long as to be awkward, were already known as being the
loveliest locks in London. She sang as though Nature had intended
her to be a singing-bird -- requiring no education, no labour.
She had been once for three months in Paris, and French had come
naturally to her. Her father had taught her something of his
art, and flatterers had already begun to say that she was born
to be the one great female artist of the world. Her hands, her
feet, her figure were perfect. Though she was as yet but nineteen,
London had already begun to talk about Ayala Dormer. Of course
Lady Tringle chose Ayala, not remembering at the moment that
her own daughters might probably be superseded by their cousin.
And, therefore, as Lady Tringle said herself to Lucy with her
sweetest smile -- Mrs Dosett had chosen Lucy. The two girls were
old enough to know something of the meaning of such a choice.
Ayala, the younger, was to be adopted into immense wealth, and
Lucy was to be given up to comparative poverty. She knew nothing
of her uncle Dosett's circumstances, but the genteel house at
Notting Hill -- No. 3, Kingsbury Crescent -- was known to her,
and was but a poor affair as compared even with the bijou in
which she had hitherto lived. Her aunt Dosett never rose to any
vehicle beyond a four-wheeler, and was careful even in thinking
of that accommodation. Ayala would be whirled about the park
by a wire-wig and a pair of brown horses which they had heard
it said were not to be matched in London. Ayala would be carried
with her aunt and her cousin to the show-room of Madame Tonsonville,
the great French milliner of Bond Street, whereas she, Lucy,
might too probably be called on to make her own gowns. All the
fashion of Queen's Gate, something, perhaps, of the fashion of
Eaton Square, would be open to Ayala. Lucy understood enough
to know that Ayala's own charms might probably cause still more
august gates to be opened to her, whereas Aunt Dosett entered
no gates. It was quite natural that Ayala should be chosen. Lucy
acknowledged as much to herself. But they were sisters, and had
been so near! By what a chasm would they be dissevered, now so
far asunder!
Lucy herself was a lovely girl, and knew her own loveliness.
She was fairer than Ayala, somewhat taller, and much more quiet
in her demeanour. She was also clever, but her cleverness did
not show itself so quickly. She was a musician, whereas her sister
could only sing. She could really draw, whereas her sister would
rush away into effects in which the drawing was not always very
excellent. Lucy was doing the best she could for herself, knowing
something of French and German, though as yet not very fluent
with her tongue. The two girls were, in truth, both greatly gifted;
but Ayala had the gift of showing her talent without thought
of showing it. Lucy saw it all, and knew that she was outshone;
but how great had been the price of the outshining!
The artist's house had been badly ordered, and the two girls
were of better disposition and better conduct than might have
been expected from such fitful training. Ayala had been the father's
pet and Lucy the mother's. Parents do ill in making pets, and
here they had done ill. Ayala had been taught to think herself
the favourite, because the artist, himself, had been more prominent
before the world than his wife. But the evil had not been lasting
enough to have made bad feeling between the sisters. Lucy knew
that her sister had been preferred to her, but she had been self-denying
enough to be aware that some such preference was due to Ayala.
She, too, admired Ayala, and loved her with her whole heart.
And Ayala was always good to her -- had tried to divide everything
-- had assumed no preference as a right. The two were true sisters.
But when it was decided that Lucy was to go to Kingsbury Crescent
the difference was very great. The two girls, on their father's
death, had been taken to the great red brick house in Queen's
Gate, and from hence, three or four days after the funeral, Lucy
was to be transferred to her Aunt Dosett. Hitherto there had
been little between them but weeping for their father. Now had
come the hour of parting.
The tidings had been communicated to Lucy, and to Lucy alone,
by Aunt Tringle -- "As you are the eldest, dear, we think that
you will be best able to be a comfort to your aunt," said Lady
Tringle.
"I will do the best I can, Aunt Emmeline," said Lucy, declaring
to herself that, in giving such a reason, her aunt was lying
basely.
"I am sure you will. Poor dear Ayala is younger than her cousins,
and will be more subject to them." So in truth was Lucy younger
than her cousins, but of that she said nothing. "I am sure you
will agree with me that it is best that we should have the youngest."
"Perhaps it is, Aunt Emmeline."
"Sir Thomas would not have had it any other way," said Lady Tringle,
with a little severity, feeling that Lucy's accord had hardly
been as generous as it should be. But she recovered herself quickly,
remembering how much it was that Ayala was to get, how much that
Lucy was to lose. "But, my dear, we shall see you very often,
you know. It is not so far across the park; and when we do have
a few parties again -- "
"Oh, aunt, I am not thinking of that."
"Of course not. We can none of us think of it just now. But when
the time does come of course we shall always have you, just as
if you were one of us." Then her aunt gave her a roll of bank-notes,
a little present of twenty-five pounds, to begin the world with,
and told her that the carriage should take her to Kingsbury Crescent
on the following morning. On the whole Lucy behaved well and
left a pleasant impression on her aunt's mind. The difference
between Queen's Gate and Kingsbury Crescent -- between Queen's
Gate and Kingsbury Crescent for life -- was indeed great!
"I wish it were you, with all my heart," said Ayala, clinging
to her sister.
"It could not have been me."
"Why not!"
"Because you are so pretty and you are so clever."
"No!"
"Yes! If we were to be separated of course it would be so. Do
not suppose, dear, that I am disappointed."
"I am."
"If I can only like Aunt Margaret," -- Aunt Margaret was Mrs
Dosett, with whom neither of the girls had hitherto become intimate,
and who was known to be quiet, domestic, and economical, but
who had also been spoken of as having a will of her own -- "I
shall do better with her than you would, Ayala."
"I don't see why."
"Because I can remain quiet longer than you. It will be very
quiet. I wonder how we shall see each other! I cannot walk across
the park alone."
"Uncle Reg will bring you."
"Not often, I fear. Uncle Reg has enough to do with his office.
"You can come in a cab."
"Cabs cost money, Ayey dear."
"But Uncle Thomas -- "
"We had better understand one or two things, Ayala. Uncle Thomas
will pay everything for you, and as he is very rich things will
come as they are wanted. There will be cabs, and if not cabs,
carriages. Uncle Reg must pay for me, and he is very very kind
to do so. But as he is not rich, there will be no carriages,
and not a great many cabs. It is best to understand it all."
"But they will send for you."
"That's as they please. I don't think they will very often. I
would not for the world put you against Uncle Thomas, but I have
a feeling that I shall never get on with him. But you will never
separate yourself from me, Ayala!"
"Separate myself!"
"You will not -- not be my sister because you will be one of
these rich ones?"
"Oh, I wish -- I wish that I were to be the poor one. I'm sure
I should like it best. I never cared about being rich. Oh, Lucy,
can't we make them change?"
"No, Ayey, my own, we can't make them change. And if we could,
we wouldn't. It is altogether best that you should be a rich
Tringle and that I should be a poor Dosett."
"I will always be a Dormer," said Ayala, proudly.
"And I will always be so too, my pet. But you should be a bright
Dormer among the Tringles, and I will be a dull Dormer among
the Dosetts. I shall begrudge nothing, if only we can see each
other."
So the two girls were parted, the elder being taken away to Kingsbury
Crescent and the latter remaining with her rich relations at
Queen's Gate. Ayala had not probably realized the great difference
of their future positions. To her the attractions of wealth and
the privations of comparative poverty had not made themselves
as yet palpably plain. They do not become so manifest to those
to whom the wealth falls -- at any rate, not in early life --
as to the opposite party. If the other lot had fallen to Ayala
she might have felt it more keenly.
Lucy felt it keenly enough. Without any longing after the magnificence
of the Tringle mansion she knew how great was the fall from her
father's well-assorted luxuries and prettinesses down to the
plain walls, tables, and chairs of her Uncle Dosett's house.
Her aunt did not subscribe to Mudie's. The old piano had not
been tuned for the last ten years. The parlour-maid was a cross
old woman. Her aunt always sat in the dining-room through the
greater part of the day, and of all rooms the dining-room in
Kingsbury Crescent was the dingiest. Lucy understood very well
to what she was going. Her father and mother were gone. Her sister
was divided from her. Her life offered for the future nothing
to her. But with it all she carried a good courage. There was
present to her an idea of great misfortune; but present to her
at the same time an idea also that she would do her duty.
For some days Lucy found herself to be absolutely crushed --
in the first place, by a strong resolution to do some disagreeable
duty, and then by a feeling that there was no duty the doing
of which was within her reach. It seemed to her that her whole
life was a blank. Her father's house had been a small affair
and considered to be poor when compared with the Tringle mansion,
but she now became aware that everything there had in truth abounded.
In one little room there had been two or three hundred beautifully
bound books. That Mudie's unnumbered volumes should come into
the house as they were wanted had almost been as much a provision
of nature as water, gas, and hot rolls for breakfast. A piano
of the best kind, and always in order, had been a first necessary
of life, and, like other necessaries, of course, forthcoming.
There had been the little room in which the girls painted, joining
their father's studio and sharing its light, surrounded by every
pretty female appliance. Then there had always been visitors.
The artists from Kensington had been wont to gather there, and
the artists' daughters, and perhaps the artists' sons. Every
day had had its round of delights -- its round of occupations,
as the girls would call them. There had been some reading, some
painting, some music -- perhaps a little needlework and a great
deal of talking.
How little do we know how other people live in the houses close
to us! We see the houses looking like our own, and we see the
people come out of them looking like ourselves. But a Chinaman
is not more different from the English John Bull than is No.
10 from No. 11. Here there are books, paintings, music, wine,
a little dilettanti getting-up of subjects of the day, a little
dilettanti thinking on great affairs, perhaps a little dilettanti
religion; few domestic laws, and those easily broken; few domestic
duties, and those easily evaded; breakfast when you will, with
dinner almost as little binding, with much company and acknowledged
aptitude for idle luxury. That is life at No. 10. At No. 11 everything
is cased in iron. There shall be equal plenty, but at No. 11
even plenty is a bondage. Duty rules everything, and it has come
to be acknowledged that duty is to be hard. So many hours of
needlework, so many hours of books, so many hours of prayer!
That all the household shall shiver before daylight, is a law,
the breach of which by any member either augurs sickness or requires
condign punishment. To be comfortable is a sin; to laugh is almost
equal to bad language. Such and so various is life at No. 10
and at No. 11.
From one extremity, as far removed, to another poor Lucy had
been conveyed; though all the laws were not exactly carried out
in Kingsbury Crescent as they have been described at No. 11.
The enforced prayers were not there, nor the early hours. It
was simply necessary that Lucy should be down to breakfast at
nine, and had she not appeared nothing violent would have been
said. But it was required of her that she should endure a life
which was altogether without adornment. Uncle Dosett himself,
as a clerk in the Admiralty, had a certain position in the world
which was sufficiently maintained by decent apparel, a well-kept,
slight, grey whisker, and an umbrella which seemed never to have
been violated by use. Dosett was popular at his office, and was
regarded by his brother clerks as a friend. But no one was acquainted
with his house and home. They did not dine with him, nor he with
them. There are such men in all public offices -- not the less
respected because of the quiescence of their lives. It was known
of him that he had burdens, though it was not known what his
burdens were. His friends, therefore, were intimate with him
as far as the entrance into Somerset House -- where his duties
lay -- and not beyond it. Lucy was destined to know the other
side of his affairs, the domestic side, which was as quiet as
the official side. The link between them, which consisted of
a journey by the Underground Railway to the Temple Station, and
a walk home along the Embankment and across the parks and Kensington
Gardens, was the pleasantest part of Dosett's life.
Mr Dosett's salary has been said to be £900 per annum. What
a fund of comfort there is in the word! When the youth of nineteen
enters an office how far beyond want would he think himself should
he ever reach the pecuniary paradise of £900 a year! How he
would see all his friends, and in return be seen of them! But
when the income has been achieved its capabilities are found
to be by no means endless. And Dosett in the earlier spheres
of his married life had unfortunately anticipated something of
such comforts. For a year or two he had spent a little money
imprudently. Something which he had expected had not come to
him; and, as a result, he had been forced to borrow, and to insure
his life for the amount borrowed. Then, too, when that misfortune
as to the money came -- came from the non-realization of certain
claims which his wife had been supposed to possess -- provision
had also to be made for her. In this way an assurance office
eat up a large fraction of his income, and left him with means
which in truth were very straitened. Dosett at once gave up all
glories of social life, settled himself in Kingsbury Crescent,
and resolved to satisfy himself with his walk across the park
and his frugal dinner afterwards. He never complained to anyone,
nor did his wife. He was a man small enough to be contented with
a thin existence, but far too great to ask anyone to help him
to widen it. Sir Thomas Tringle never heard of that £175 paid
annually to the assurance office, nor had Lady Tringle, Dosett's
sister, even heard of it. When it was suggested to him that he
should take one of the Dormer girls, he consented to take her
and said nothing of the assurance office.
Mrs Dosett had had her great blow in life, and had suffered more
perhaps than her husband. This money had been expected. There
had been no doubt of the money -- at any rate on her part. It
did not depend on an old gentleman with or without good intentions,
but simply on his death. There was to be ever so much of it,
four or five hundred a year, which would last for ever. When
the old gentleman died, which took place some ten years after
Dosett's marriage, it was found that the money, tied tight as
it had been by half a dozen lawyers, had in some fashion vanished.
Whither it had gone is little to our purpose, but it had gone.
Then there came a great crash upon the Dosetts, which she for
a while had been hardly able to endure.
But when she had collected herself together after the crash,
and had made up her mind, as had Dosett also, to the nature of
the life which they must in future lead, she became more stringent
in it even than he. He could bear and say nothing; but she, in
bearing, found herself compelled to say much. It had been her
fault -- the fault of people on her side -- and she would fain
have fed her husband with the full flowery potato while she ate
only the rind. She told him, unnecessarily, over and over again,
that she had ruined him by her marriage. No such idea was ever
in his head. The thing had come, and so it must be. There was
food to eat, potatoes enough for both, and a genteel house in
which to live. He could still be happy if she would not groan.
A certain amount of groaning she did postpone while in his presence.
The sewing of seams, and the darning of household linen, which
in his eyes amounted to groaning, was done in his absence. After
their genteel dinner he would sleep a little, and she would knit.
He would have his glass of wine, but would make his bottle of
port last almost for a week. This was the house to which Lucy
Dormer was brought when Mr Dosett had consented to share with
Sir Thomas the burden left by the death of the improvident artist.
When a month passed by Lucy began to think that time itself would
almost drive her mad. Her father had died early in September.
The Tringles had then, of course, been out of town, but Sir Thomas
and his wife had found themselves compelled to come up on such
an occasion. Something they knew must be done about the girls,
and they had not chosen that that something should be done in
their absence. Mr Dosett was also enjoying his official leave
of absence for the year, but was enjoying it within the economical
precincts of Kingsbury Crescent. There was but seldom now an
excursion for him or his wife to the joys of the country. Once,
some years ago, they had paid a visit to the palatial luxuries
of Glenbogie, but the delights of the place had not paid for
the expense of the long journey. They, therefore, had been at
hand to undertake their duties. Dosett and Tringle, with a score
of artists, had followed poor Dormer to his grave in Kensal Green,
and then Dosett and Tringle had parted again, probably not to
see each other for another term of years.
"My dear, what do you like to do with your time?" Mrs Dosett
said to her niece, after the first week. At this time Lucy's
wardrobe was not yet of a nature to need much work over its ravages.
The Dormer girls had hardly known where their frocks had come
from when they wanted frocks -- hardly with more precision than
the Tringle girls. Frocks had come -- dark, gloomy frocks, lately,
alas! And these, too, had now come a second time. Let creditors
be ever so unsatisfied, new raiment will always be found for
mourning families. Everything about Lucy was nearly new. The
need of repairing would come upon her by degrees, but it had
not come as yet. Therefore there had seemed, to the anxious aunt,
to be a necessity for some such question as the above.
"I'll do anything you like, aunt," said Lucy.
"It is not for me, my dear. I get through a deal of work, and
am obliged to do so." She was, at this time, sitting with a sheet
in her lap, which she was turning. Lucy had, indeed, once offered
to assist, but her assistance had been rejected. This had been
two days since, and she had not renewed the proposal as she should
have done. This had been mainly from bashfulness. Though the
work would certainly be distasteful to her, she would do it.
But she had not liked to seem to interfere, not having as yet
fallen into the ways of intimacy with her aunt. "I don't want
to burden you with my task-work," continued Mrs Dosett, "but
I am afraid you seem to be listless."
"I was reading till just before you spoke," said Lucy, again
turning her eyes to the little volume of poetry, which was one
of the few treasures which she had brought away with her from
her old home.
"Reading is very well, but I do not like it as an excuse, Lucy."
Lucy's anger boiled within her when she was told of an excuse,
and she declared to herself that she could never like her aunt.
"I am quite sure that for young girls, as well as for old women,
there must be a great deal of waste time unless there be needle
and thread always about. And I know, too, unless ladies are well
off, they cannot afford to waste time any more than gentlemen."
In the whole course of her life nothing so much like scolding
as this had ever been addressed to her. So at least thought Lucy
at that moment. Mrs Dosett had intended the remarks all in good
part, thinking them to be simply fitting from an aunt to a niece.
It was her duty to give advice, and for the giving of such advice
some day must be taken as the beginning. She had purposely allowed
a week to run by, and now she had spoken her word -- as she thought
in good season.
To Lucy it was a new and most bitter experience. Though she was
reading the Idylls of the King, or pretending to read them, She
was, in truth, thinking of all that had gone from her. Her mind
had, at that moment, been intent upon her mother, who, in all
respects, had been so different from this careful, sheet-darning
housewife of a woman. And in thinking of her mother there had
no doubt been regrets for many things of which she would not
have ventured to speak as sharing her thoughts with the memory
of her mother, but which were nevertheless there to add darkness
to the retrospective. Everything behind had been so bright, and
everything behind had gone away from her! Everything before was
so gloomy, and everything before must last for so long! After
her aunt's lecture about wasted time Lucy sat silent for a few
minutes, and then burst into uncontrolled tears.
"I did not mean to vex you," said her aunt.
"I was thinking of my -- darling, darling mamma," sobbed Lucy.
"Of course, Lucy, you will think of her. How should you not?
And of your father. Those are sorrows which must be borne. But
sorrows such as those are much lighter to the busy than to the
idle. I sometimes think that the labourers grieve less for those
they love than we do just because they have not time to grieve."
"I wish I were a labourer then," said Lucy, through her tears.
"You may be if you will. The sooner you begin to be a labourer
the better for yourself and for those about you."
That Aunt Dosett's voice was harsh was not her fault -- nor that
in the obduracy of her daily life she had lost much of her original
softness. She had simply meant to be useful, and to do her duty;
but in telling Lucy that it would be better that the labouring
should be commenced at once for the sake of "those about you'
-- who could only be Aunt Dosett herself -- she had seemed to
the girl to be harsh, selfish, and almost unnatural. The volume
of poetry fell from her hand, and she jumped up from the chair
quickly. "Give it me at once," she said, taking hold of the sheet
-- which was not itself a pleasant object; Lucy had never seen
such a thing at the bijou. "Give it me at once," she said, and
clawed the long folds of linen nearly out of her aunt's lap.
"I did not mean anything of the kind," said Aunt Dosett. "You
should not take me up in that way. I am speaking only for your
good, because I know that you should not dawdle away your existence.
Leave the sheet."
Lucy did leave the sheet, and then, sobbing violently, ran out
of the room up to her own chamber. Mrs Dosett determined that
she would not follow her. She partly forgave the girl because
of her sorrows, partly reminded herself that she was not soft
and facile as had been her sister-in-law, Lucy's mother; and
then, as she continued her work, she assured herself that it
would be best to let her niece have her cry out upstairs. Lucy's
violence had astonished her for a moment, but she had taught
herself to think it best to allow such little ebullitions to
pass off by themselves.
Lucy, when she was alone, flung herself upon her bed in absolute
agony. She thought that she had misbehaved, and yet how cruel
-- how harsh had been her aunt's words! If she, the quiet one,
had misbehaved, what would Ayala have done? And how was she to
find strength with which to look forward to the future? She struggled
hard with herself for a resolution. Should she determine that
she would henceforward darn sheets morning, noon, and night till
she worked her fingers to the bone? Perhaps there had been something
of truth in that assertion of her aunt's that the labourers have
no time to grieve. As everything else was shut out from her,
it might be well for her to darn sheets. Should she rush down
penitent and beg her aunt to allow her to commence at once?
She would have done it as far as the sheets were concerned, but
she could not do it as regarded her aunt. She could put herself
into unison with the crumpled soiled linen, but not with the
hard woman.
Oh, how terrible was the change! Her father and her mother who
had been so gentle to her! All the sweet prettinesses of her
life! All her occupations, all her friends, all her delights!
Even Ayala was gone from her! How was she to bear it? She begrudged
Ayala nothing -- no, nothing. But yet it was hard! Ayala was
to have everything. Aunt Emmeline -- though they had not hitherto
been very fond of Aunt Emmeline -- was sweetness itself as compared
with this woman. "The sooner you begin to labour the better for
yourself and those about you." Would it not have been fitter
that she should have been sent at once to some actual poorhouse
in which there would have been no mistake as to her position?
That it should all have been decided for her for her and Ayala,
not by any will of their own, not by any concert between themselves,
but simply by the fantasy of another! Why should she thus be
made a slave to the fantasy of anyone! Let Ayala have her uncle's
wealth and her aunt's palaces at her command, and she would walk
out simply a pauper into the world -- into some workhouse, so
that at least she need not be obedient to the harsh voice and
the odious common sense of her Aunt Dosett! But how should she
take herself to some workhouse? In what way could she prove her
right to be admitted even then? It seemed to her that the same
decree which had admitted Ayala into the golden halls of the
fairies had doomed her not only to poverty, but to slavery. There
was no escape for her from her aunt and her aunt's sermons. "Oh,
Ayala, my darling -- my own one; oh, Ayala, if you did but know!"
she said to herself. What would Ayala think, how would Ayala
bear it, could she but guess by what a gulf was her heaven divided
from her sister's hell! "I will never tell her," she said to
herself. "I will die, and she shall never know."
As she lay there sobbing all the gilded things of the world were
beautiful in her eyes. Alas, yes, it was true. The magnificence
of the mansion at Queen's Gate, the glories of Glenbogie, the
closely studied comforts of Merle Park, as the place in Sussex
was called, all the carriages and horses, Madame Tonsonville
and all the draperies, the seats at the Albert Hall into which
she had been accustomed to go with as much ease as into her bedroom,
the box at the opera, the pretty furniture, the frequent gems,
even the raiment which would make her pleasing to the eyes of
men whom she would like to please -- all these things grew in
her eyes and became beautiful. No. 3, Kingsbury Crescent, was
surely, of all places on the earth's surface, the most ugly.
And yet -- yet she had endeavoured to do her duty. "If it had
been the workhouse I could have borne it," she said to herself;
"but not to be the slave of my Aunt Dosett!" Again she appealed
to her sister, "Oh, Ayala, if you did but know it!" Then she
remembered herself, declaring that it might have been worse to
Ayala than even to her. "If one had to bear it, it was better
for me," she said, as she struggled to prepare herself for her
uncle's dinner.
The evening after the affair with the sheet went off quietly,
as did many days and many evenings. Mrs Dosett was wise enough
to forget the little violence and to forget also the feeling
which had been displayed. When Lucy first asked for some household
needlework, which she did with a faltering voice and shame-faced
remembrance of her fault, her aunt took it all in good part and
gave her a task somewhat lighter as a beginning than the handling
of a sheet. Lucy sat at it and suffered. She went on sitting
and suffering. She told herself that she was a martyr at every
stitch she made. As she occupied the seat opposite to her aunt's
accustomed chair she would hardly speak at all, but would keep
her mind always intent on Ayala and the joys of Ayala's life.
That they who had been born together, sisters, with equal fortunes,
who had so closely lived together, should be sundered so utterly
one from the other; that the one should be so exalted and the
other so debased! And why? What justice had there been? Could
it be from heaven or even from earth that the law had gone forth
for such a division of the things of the world between them?
"You have got very little to say to a person," said Aunt Dosett,
one morning. This, too, was a reproach. This, too, was scolding.
And yet Aunt Dosett had intended to be as pleasant as she knew
how.
"I have very little to say," replied Lucy, with repressed anger.
"But why?"
"Because I am stupid," said Lucy. "Stupid people can't talk.
You should have had Ayala."
"I hope you do not envy Ayala her fortune, Lucy?" A woman with
any tact would not have asked such a question at such a time.
She should have felt that a touch of such irony might he natural,
and that unless it were expressed loudly, or shown actively,
it might be left to be suppressed by affection and time. But
she, as she had grown old, had taught herself to bear disappointment,
and thought it wise to teach Lucy to do the same.
"Envy!" said Lucy, not passionately, but after a little pause
for thought. "I sometimes think it is very hard to know what
envy is."
"Envy, hatred, and malice," said Mrs Dosett, hardly knowing what
she meant by the use of the well-worn words.
"I do know what hatred and malice are," said Lucy. "Do you think
I hate Ayala?"
"I am sure you do not."
"Or that I bear her malice?"
"Certainly not."
"If I had the power to take anything from her, would I do it?
I love Ayala with my whole heart. Whatever be my misery I would
rather bear it than let Ayala have even a share of it. Whatever
good things she may have I would not rob her even of a part of
them. If there be joy and sorrow to be divided between us I would
wish to have the sorrow so that she might have the joy. That
is not hatred and malice." Mrs Dosett looked at her over her
spectacles. This was the girl who had declared that she could
not speak because she was too stupid! "But, when you ask me whether
I envy her, I hardly know," continued Lucy. "I think one does
covet one's neighbour's house, in spite of the tenth commandment,
even though one does not want to steal it."
Mrs Dosett repented herself that she had given rise to any conversation
at all. Silence, absolute silence, the old silence which she
had known for a dozen years before Lucy had come to her, would
have been better than this. She was very angry, more angry than
she had ever yet been with Lucy; and yet she was afraid to show
her anger. Was this the girl's gratitude for all that her uncle
was doing for her -- for shelter, food, comfort, for all that
she had in the world? Mrs Dosett knew, though Lucy did not, of
the little increased pinchings which had been made necessary
by the advent of another inmate in the house; so many pounds
of the meat in the week, and so much bread, and so much tea and
sugar! It had all been calculated. In genteel houses such calculation
must often be made. And when by degrees -- degrees very quick
-- the garments should become worn which Lucy had brought with
her, there must be something taken from the tight-fitting income
for that need. Arrangements had already been made of which Lucy
knew nothing, and already the two glasses of port wine a day
had been knocked off from poor Mr Dosett's comforts. His wife
had sobbed in despair when he had said that it should be so.
He had declared gin and water to be as supporting as port wine,
and the thing had been done. Lucy inwardly had been disgusted
by the gin and water, knowing nothing of its history. Her father,
who had not always been punctual in paying his wine-merchant's
bills, would not have touched gin and water, would not have allowed
it to contaminate his table. Everything in Mr Dosett's house
was paid for weekly.
And now Lucy, who had been made welcome to all that the genteel
house could afford, who had been taken in as a child, had spoken
of her lot as one which was all sorrowful. Bad as it is -- this
living in Kingsbury Crescent -- I would rather bear it myself
than subject Ayala to such misery! It was thus that she had,
in fact, spoken of her new home when she had found it necessary
to defend her feelings towards her sister. It was impossible
that her aunt should be altogether silent under such treatment.
"We have done the best for you that is in our power, Lucy," she
said, with a whole load of reproach in her tone.
"Have I complained, aunt?"
"I thought you did."
"Oh, no! You asked me whether I envied Ayala. What was I to say?
Perhaps I should have said nothing, but the idea of envying Ayala
was painful to me. Of course she -- "
"Well?"
"I had better say nothing more, aunt. If I were to pretend to
be cheerful I should be false. It is as yet only a few weeks
since papa died." Then the work went on in silence between them
for the next hour.
And the work went on in solemn silence between them through the
winter. It came to pass that the sole excitement of Lucy's life
came from Ayala's letters -- the sole excitement except a meeting
which took place between the sisters one day. When Lucy was taken
to Kingsbury Crescent Ayala was at once carried down to Glenbogie,
and from thence there came letters twice a week for six weeks.
Ayala's letters, too, were full of sorrow. She, too, had lost
her mother, her father, and her sister. Moreover, in her foolish
petulance she said things of her Aunt Emmeline, and of the girls,
and of Sir Thomas, which ought not to have been written of those
who were kind to her. Her cousin Tom, too, she ridiculed -- Tom
Tringle, the son and heir -- saying that he was a lout who endeavoured
to make eyes at her. Oh, how distasteful, how vulgar they were
after all that she had known. Perhaps the eldest girl, Augusta,
was the worst. She did not think that she could put up with the
assumed authority of Augusta. Gertrude was better, but a simpleton.
Ayala declared herself to be sad at heart. But then the sweet
scenery of Glenbogie, and the colour of the moors, and the glorious
heights of Ben Alchan, made some amends. Even in her sorrow she
would rave about the beauties of Glenbogie. Lucy, as she read
the letters, told herself that Ayala's grief was a grief to be
borne, a grief almost to be enjoyed. To sit and be sad with a
stream purling by you, how different from the sadness of that
dining-room in the Crescent. To look out upon the glories of
a mountain, while a tear would now and again force itself into
the eye, how much less bitter than the falling of salt drops
over a tattered towel.
Lucy, in her answers, endeavoured to repress the groans of her
spirit. In the first place she did acknowledge that it did not
become her to speak ill of those who were, in truth, her benefactors;
and then she was anxious not to declare to Ayala her feeling
of the injustice by which their two lots had been defined to
them. Though she had failed to control herself once or twice
in speaking to her aunt she did control herself in writing her
letters. She would never, never, write a word which should make
Ayala unnecessarily unhappy. On that she was determined. She
would say nothing to explain to Ayala the unutterable tedium
of that downstairs parlour in which they passed their lives,
lest Ayala should feel herself to be wounded by the luxurious
comforts around her.
It was thus she wrote. Then there came a time in which they were
to meet -- just at the beginning of November. The Tringles were
going to Rome. They generally did go somewhere. Glenbogie, Merle
Park, and the house in Queen's Gate, were not enough for the
year. Sir Thomas was to take them to Rome, and then return to
London for the manipulation of the millions in Lombard Street.
He generally did remain nine months out of the twelve in town,
because of the millions, making his visits at Merle Park very
short; but Lady Tringle found that change of air was good for
the girls. It was her intention now to remain at Rome for two
or three months.
The party from Scotland reached Queen's Gate late one Saturday
evening, and intended to start early on the Monday. To Ayala,
who had made it quite a matter of course that she should see
her sister, Lady Tringle had said that in that case a carriage
must be sent across. It was awkward, because there were no carriages
in London. She had thought that they had all intended to pass
through London just as though they were not stopping. Sunday,
she had thought, was not to be regarded as being a day at all.
Then Ayala flashed up. She had flashed up some times before.
Was it supposed that she was not going to see Lucy? Carriage!
She would walk across Kensington Gardens, and find the house
out all by herself. She would spend the whole day with Lucy,
and come back alone in a cab. She was strong enough, at any rate,
to have her way so far, that a carriage, wherever it came from,
was sent for Lucy about three in the afternoon, and did take
her back to Kingsbury Crescent after dinner.
Then at last the sisters were together in Ayala's bedroom. "And
now tell me about everything," said Ayala.
But Lucy was resolved that she would not tell anything. "I am
so wretched!" That would have been all; but she would not tell
her wretchedness. "We are so quiet in Kingsbury Crescent," she
said,; "you have so much more to talk of."
"Oh, Lucy, I do not like it."
"Not your aunt?"
"She is not the worst, though she sometimes is hard to bear.
I can't tell you what it is, but they all seem to think so much
of themselves. In the first place they never will say a word
about papa."
"Perhaps that is from feeling, Ayey."
"No, it is not. One would know that. But they look down upon
papa, who had more in his little finger than they have with all
their money."
"Then I should hold my tongue."
"So I do -- about him; but it is very hard. And then Augusta
has a way with me, as though she had a right to order me. I certainly
will not be ordered by Augusta. You never ordered me."
"Dear Ayey!"
"Augusta is older than you -- of course, ever so much. They make
her out twenty-three at her last birthday, but she is twenty-four.
But that is not difference enough for ordering -- certainly between
cousins. I do hate Augusta."
"I would not hate her."
"How is one to help oneself? She has a way of whispering to Gertrude,
and to her mother, when I am there, which almost kills me. 'If
you'll only give me notice I'll go out of the room at once,'
I said the other day, and they were all so angry."
"I would not make them angry if I were you, Ayey."
"Why not?"
"Not Sir Thomas, or Aunt Emmeline."
"I don't care a bit for Sir Thomas. I am not sure but he is the
most good-natured, though he is so podgy. Of course, when Aunt
Emmeline tells me anything I do it."
"It is so important that you should be on good terms with them."
"I don't see it at all," said Ayala, flashing round.
"Aunt Emmeline can do so much for you. We have nothing of our
own -- you and I."
"Am I to sell myself because they have got money! No, indeed!
No one despises money so much as I do. I will never be other
to them than if I had the money, and they were the poor relations."
"That will not do, Ayey."
"I will make it do. They may turn me out if they like. Of course,
I know that I should obey my aunt, and so I will. If Sir Thomas
told me anything I should do it. But not Augusta." Then, while
Lucy was thinking how she might best put into soft words advice
which was so clearly needed, Ayala declared another trouble.
"But there is worse still."
"What is that?"
"Tom!"
"What does Tom do?"
"You know Tom, Lucy?"
"I have seen him."
"Of all the horrors he is the horridest."
"Does he order you about?"
"No; but he -- "
"What is it, Ayey?"
"Oh! Lucy, he is so dreadful. He -- "
"You don't mean that he makes love to you?"
"He does. What am I to do, Lucy?"
"Do they know it?"
"Augusta does, I'm sure; and pretends to think that it is my
fault. I am sure that there will be a terrible quarrel some day.
I told him the day before we left Glenbogie that I should tell
his mother. I did indeed. Then he grinned. He is such a fool.
And when I laughed he took it all as kindness. I couldn't have
helped laughing if I had died for it."
"But he has been left behind."
"Yes, for the present. But he is to come over to us some time
after Christmas, when Uncle Tringle has gone back."
"A girl need not be bothered by a lover unless she chooses, Ayey.
"But it will be such a bother to have to talk about it. He looks
at me, and is such an idiot. Then Augusta frowns. When I see
Augusta frowning I am so angry that I feel like boxing her ears.
Do you know, Lucy, that I often think that it will not do, and
that I shall have to be sent away. I wish it had been you that
they had chosen."
Such was the conversation between the girls. Of what was said
everything appertained to Ayala. Of the very nature of Lucy's
life not a word was spoken. As Ayala was talking Lucy was constantly
thinking of all that might be lost by her sister's imprudence.
Even though Augusta might be disagreeable, even though Tom might
be a bore, it should all be borne -- borne at any rate for a
while -- seeing how terrible would be the alternative. The alternative
to Lucy seemed to be Kingsbury Crescent and Aunt Dosett. It did
not occur to her to think whether in any possible case Ayala
would indeed be added to the Crescent family, or what in that
case would become of herself, and whether they two might live
with Aunt Dosett, and whether in that case life would not be
infinitely improved. Ayala had all that money could do for her,
and would have such a look-out into the world from a wealthy
house as might be sure at last to bring her some such husband
as would be desirable. Ayala, in fact, had everything before
her, and Lucy had nothing. Wherefore it became Lucy's duty to
warn Ayala, so that she should bear with much, and throw away
nothing. If Ayala could only know what life might be, what life
was at Kingsbury Crescent, then she would be patient, then she
would softly make a confidence with her aunt as to Tom's folly,
then she would propitiate Augusta. Not care for money! Ayala
had not yet lived in an ugly room and darned sheets all the morning.
Ayala had never sat for two hours between the slumbers of Uncle
Dosett and the knitting of Aunt Dosett. Ayala had not been brought
into contact with gin and water.
"Oh, Ayala!" she said, as they were going down to dinner together,
"do struggle; do bear it. Tell Aunt Emmeline. She will like you
to tell her. If Augusta wants you to go anywhere, do go. What
does it signify? Papa and mamma are gone, and we are alone."
All this she said without a word of allusion to her own sufferings.
Ayala made a half promise. She did not think she would go anywhere
for Augusta's telling; but she would do her best to satisfy Aunt
Emmeline. Then they went to dinner, and after dinner Lucy was
taken home without further words between them.
Ayala wrote long letters on her journey, full of what she saw,
and full of her companions. From Paris she wrote, and then from
Turin, and then again on their immediate arrival at Rome. Her
letters were most imprudent as written from the close vicinity
of her aunt and cousin. It was such a comfort that that oaf Tom
had been left behind. Uncle Tringle was angry because he did
not get what he liked to eat. Aunt Emmeline gave that courier
such a terrible life, sending for him every quarter of an hour.
Augusta would talk first French and then Italian, of which no
one could understand a word. Gertrude was so sick with travelling
that she was as pale as a sheet. Nobody seemed to care for anything.
She could not get her aunt to look at the Campanile at Florence,
or her cousins to know one picture from another. "As for pictures,
I am quite sure that Mangle's angels would do as well as Raffael's."
Mangle was a brother academician whom their father had taught
them to despise. There was contempt, most foolish contempt, for
all the Tringles; but, luckily, there had be no quarrelling.
Then it seemed that both in Paris and in Florence Ayala had bought
pretty things, from which it was to be argued that her uncle
had provided her liberally with money. One pretty thing had been
sent from Paris to Lucy, which could not have been bought for
less than many francs. It would not be fair that Ayala should
take so much without giving something in return.
Lucy knew that she too should give something in return. Though
Kingsbury Crescent was not attractive, though Aunt Dosett was
not to her a pleasant companion, she had begun to realise the
fact that it behoved her to be grateful, if only for the food
she ate, and for the bed on which she slept. As she thought of
all that Ayala owed she remembered also her own debts. As the
winter went on she struggled to pay them. But Aunt Dosett was
a lady not much given to vacillation. She had become aware at
first that Lucy had been rough to her, and she did not easily
open herself to Lucy's endearments. Lucy's life at Kingsbury
Crescent had begun badly, and Lucy, though she understood much
about it, found it hard to turn a bad beginning to a good result.
It was suggested to Lucy before she had been long in Kingsbury
Crescent that she should take some exercise. For the first week
she had hardly been out of the house; but this was attributed
to her sorrow. Then she had accompanied her aunt for a few days
during the half-hour's marketing which took place every morning,
but in this there had been no sympathy. Lucy would not interest
herself in the shoulder of mutton which must be of just such
a weight as to last conveniently for two days -- twelve pounds
-- of which, it was explained to her, more than one-half was
intended for the two servants, because there was always a more
lavish consumption in the kitchen than in the parlour. Lucy would
not appreciate the fact that eggs at a penny a piece, whatever
they might be, must be used for puddings, as eggs with even a
reputation of freshness cost two-pence. Aunt Dosett, beyond this,
never left the house on week-days except for a few calls which
were made perhaps once a month, on which occasion the Sunday
gloves and the Sunday silk dress were used. On Sunday they all
went to church. But this was not enough for exercise, and as
Lucy was becoming pale she was recommended to take to walking
in Kensington Gardens.
It is generally understood that there are raging lions about
the metropolis, who would certainly eat up young ladies whole
if young ladies were to walk about the streets or even about
the parks by themselves. There is, however, beginning to be some
vacillation as to the received belief on this subject as regards
London. In large continental towns, such as Paris and Vienna,
young ladies would be devoured certainly. Such, at least, is
the creed. In New York and Washington there are supposed to be
no lions, so that young ladies go about free as air. In London
there is a rising doubt, under which before long, probably, the
lions will succumb altogether. Mrs Dosett did believe somewhat
in lions, but she believed also in exercise. And she was aware
that the lions eat up chiefly rich people. Young ladies who must
go about without mothers, brothers, uncles, carriages, or attendants
of any sort, are not often eaten or even roared at. It is the
dainty darlings for whom the roarings have to be feared. Mrs
Dosett, aware that daintiness was no longer within the reach
of her and hers, did assent to these walkings in Kensington Gardens.
At some hour in the afternoon Lucy would walk from the house
by herself, and within a quarter of an hour would find herself
on the broad gravel path which leads down to the Round Pond.
From thence she would go by the back of the Albert Memorial,
and then across by the Serpentine and return to the same gate,
never leaving Kensington Gardens. Aunt Dosett had expressed some
old-fashioned idea that lions were more likely to roar in Hyde
Park than within the comparatively retired purlieus of Kensington.
Now the reader must be taken back for a few moments to the bijou,
as the bijou was before either the artist or his wife had died.
In those days there had been a frequent concourse of people in
the artist's house. Society there had not consisted chiefly of
eating and drinking. Men and women would come in and out as though
really for a purpose of talking. There would be three or four
constantly with Dormer in his studio, helping him but little
perhaps in the real furtherance of his work, though discussing
art subjects in a manner calculated to keep alive art-feeling
among them. A novelist or two of a morning might perhaps aid
me in my general pursuit, but would, I think, interfere with
the actual tally of pages. Egbert Dormer did not turn out from
his hand so much work as some men that I know, but he was overflowing
with art up to his ears -- and with tobacco, so that, upon the
whole, the bijou was a pleasant rendezvous.
There had come there of late, quite of late, a young sculptor,
named Isadore Hamel. Hamel was an Englishman, who, however, had
been carried very early to Rome and had been bred there. Of his
mother question never was made, but his father had been well
known as an English sculptor resident at Rome. The elder Hamel
had been a man of mark, who had a fine suite of rooms in the
city and a villa on one of the lakes, but who never came to England.
English connections were, he said, to him abominable, by which
he perhaps meant that the restrictions of decent life were not
to his taste. But his busts came, and his groups in marble, and
now and again some great work for some public decoration: so
that money was plentiful with him, and he was a man of note.
It must be acknowledged of him that he spared nothing in bringing
up his son, giving him such education as might best suit his
future career as an artist, and that money was always forthcoming
for the lad's wants and fantasies.
Then young Hamel also became a sculptor of much promise; but
early in life differed from his father on certain subjects of
importance. The father was wedded to Rome and to Italy. Isadore
gradually expressed an opinion that the nearer a man was to his
market the better for him, that all that art could do for a man
in Rome was as nothing to the position which a great artist might
make for himself in London -- that, in fact, an Englishman had
better be an Englishman. At twenty-six he succeeded in his attempt,
and became known as a young sculptor with a workshop at Brompton.
He became known to many both by his work and his acquirements;
but it may not be surprising that after a year he was still unable
to live, as he had been taught to live, without drawing upon
his father. Then his father threw his failure in his teeth, not
refusing him money indeed, but making the receipt of it unpleasant
to him.
At no house had Isadore Hamel been made so welcome as at Dormer's.
There was a sympathy between them both on that great question
of art, whether to an artist his art should be a matter to him
of more importance than all the world besides. So said Dormer
-- who simply died because his wife died, who could not have
touched his brush if one of his girls had been suffering, who,
with all his genius, was but a faineant workman. His art more
than all the world to him! No, not to him. Perhaps here and again
to some enthusiast, and him hardly removed from madness! Where
is the painter who shall paint a picture after his soul's longing
though he shall get not a penny for it -- though he shall starve
as he put his last touch to it, when he knows that by drawing
some duchess of the day he shall in a fortnight earn a ducal
price? Shall a wife and child be less dear to him than to a lawyer
-- or to a shoemaker, or the very craving of his hunger less
obdurate? A man's self, and what he has within him and his belongings,
with his outlook for this and other worlds -- let that be the
first, and the work, noble or otherwise, be the second. To be
honest is greater than to have painted the San Sisto, or to have
chiselled the Apollo, to have assisted in making others honest
-- infinitely greater. All of which were discussed at great length
at the bijou, and the bijouites always sided with the master
of the house. To an artist, said Dormer, let his art be everything
-- above wife and children, above money, above health, above
even character. Then he would put out his hand with his jewelled
finger, and stretch forth his velvet-clad arm, and soon after
lead his friend away to the little dinner at which no luxury
had been spared. But young Hamel agreed with the sermons, and
not the less because Lucy Dormer had sat by and listened to them
with rapt attention.
Not a word of love had been spoken to her by the sculptor when
her mother died, but there had been glances and little feelings
of which each was half conscious. It is so hard for a young man
to speak of love, if there be real love -- so impossible that
a girl should do so! Not a word had been spoken, but each had
thought that the other must have known. To Lucy a word had been
spoken by her mother -- "Do not think too much of him till you
know," the mother had said -- not quite prudently. "Oh, no! I
will think of him not at all," Lucy had replied. And she had
thought of him day and night. "I wonder why Mr Hamel is so different
with you?" Ayala had said to her sister. "I am sure he is not
different with me", Lucy had replied. Then Ayala had shaken her
full locks and smiled.
Things came quickly after that. Mrs Dormer had sickened and died.
There was no time then for thinking of that handsome brow, of
that short jet black hair, of those eyes so full of fire and
thoughtfulness, of that perfect mouth, and the deep but yet soft
voice. Still even in her sorrow this new god of her idolatry
was not altogether forgotten. It was told to her that he had
been summoned off to Rome by his father, and she wondered whether
he was to find his home at Rome for ever. Then her father was
ill, and in his illness Hamel came to say one word of farewell
before he started.
"You find me crushed to the ground," the painter said. Something
the young man whispered as to the consolation which time would
bring. "Not to me," said Dormer. "It is as though one had lost
his eyes. One cannot see without his eyes." It was true of him.
His light had been put out.
Then, on the landing at the top of the stairs, there had been
one word between Lucy and the sculptor. "I ought not to have
intruded on you perhaps," he said; "but after so much kindness
I could hardly go without a word."
"I am sure he will be glad that you have come."
"And you?"
"I am glad too -- so that I may say goodbye." Then she put out
her hand, and he held it for a moment as he looked into her eyes.
There was not a word more, but it seemed to Lucy as though there
had been so many words.
Things went on quickly. Egbert Dormer died, and Lucy was taken
away to Kingsbury Crescent. When once Ayala had spoken about
Mr Hamel, Lucy had silenced her. Any allusion to the idea of
love wounded her, as though it was too impossible for dreams,
too holy for words. How should there be words about a lover when
father and mother were both dead? He had gone to his old and
natural home. He had gone, and of course he would not return.
To Ayala, when she came up to London early in November, to Ayala,
who was going to Rome, where Isadore Hamel now was, Isadore Hamel's
name was not mentioned. But through the long mornings of her
life, through the long evenings, through the long nights, she
still thought of him -- she could not keep herself from thinking.
To a girl whose life is full of delights her lover need not be
so very much -- need not, at least, be everything. Though he
be a lover to be loved at all points, her friends will be something,
her dancing, her horse, her theatre-going, her brothers and sisters,
even her father and mother. But Lucy had nothing. The vision
of Isadore Hamel had passed across her life, and had left with
her the only possession that she had. It need hardly be said
that she never alluded to that possession at Kingsbury Crescent.
It was not a possession from which any enjoyment could come except
that of thinking of it. He had passed away from her, and there
was no point of life at which he could come across her again.
There was no longer that half-joint studio. If it had been her
lot to be as was Ayala, she then would have been taken to Rome.
Then again he would have looked into her eyes. and taken her
hand in his. Then perhaps -- . But now, even though he were to
come back to London, he would know nothing of her haunts. Even
in that case nothing would bring them together. As the idea was
crossing her mind -- as it did cross it so frequently -- she
saw him turning from the path on which she was walking, making
his way towards the steps of the Memorial.
Though she saw no more than his back she was sure that it was
Isadore Hamel. For a moment there was an impulse on her to run
after him and to call his name. It was then early in January,
and she was taking her daily walk through Kensington Gardens.
She had walked there daily now for the last two months and had
never spoken a word or been addressed -- had never seen a face
that she had recognised. It had seemed to her that she had not
an acquaintance in the world except Uncle Reg and Aunt Dosett.
And now, almost within reach of her hand, was the one being in
all the world whom she most longed to see. She did stand and
the word was formed within her lips; but she could not speak
it. Then came the thought that she would run after him, but the
thought was expelled quickly. Though she might lose him again
and for ever she could not do that. She stood almost gasping
till he was out of sight, and then she passed on upon her usual
round.
She never omitted her walks after that, and always paused a moment
as the path turned away to the Memorial. It was not that she
thought that she might meet him there -- there rather than elsewhere
-- but there is present to us often an idea that when some object
has passed from us that we have desired then it may be seen again.
Day after day, and week after week, she did not see him. During
this time there came letters from Ayala, saying that their return
to England was postponed till the first week in February -- that
she would certainly see Lucy in February -- that she was not
going to be hurried through London in half an hour because her
aunt wished it; and that she would do as she pleased as to visiting
her sister. Then there was a word or two about Tom -- "Oh, Tom
-- that idiot Tom!" And another word or two about Augusta. "Augusta
is worse than ever. We have not spoken to each other for the
last day or two." This came but a day or two before the intended
return of the Tringles.
No actual day had been fixed. But on the day before that on which
Lucy thought it probable that the Tringles might return to town
she was again walking in the Gardens. Having put two and two
together, as people do, she felt sure that the travellers could
not be away more than a day or two longer. Her mind was much
intent upon Ayala, feeling that the imprudent girl was subjecting
herself to great danger, knowing that it was wrong that she and
Augusta should be together in the house without speaking -- thinking
of her sister's perils -- when, of a sudden, Hamel was close
before her! There was no question of calling to him now -- no
question of an attempt to see him face to face. She had been
wandering along the path with eyes fixed upon the ground, when
her name was sharply called, and they two were close to each
other. Hamel had a friend with him, and it seemed to Lucy at
once, that she could only bow to him, only mutter something,
and then pass on. How can a girl stand and speak to a gentleman
in public, especially when that gentleman has a friend with him?
She tried to look pleasant, bowed, smiled, muttered something,
and was passing on. But he was not minded to lose her thus immediately.
"Miss Dormer," he said, "I have seen your sister at Rome. May
I not say a word about her?"
Why should he not say a word about Ayala? In a minute he had
left his friend, and was walking back along the path with Lucy.
There was not much that he had to say about Ayala. He had seen
Ayala and the Tringles, and did manage to let it escape him that
Lady Tringle had not been very gracious to himself when once,
in public, he had claimed acquaintance with Ayala. But at that
he simply smiled. Then he had asked of Lucy where she lived.
"With my uncle, Mr Dosett," said Lucy, "at Kingsbury Crescent."
Then, when he asked whether he might call, Lucy, with many blushes,
had said that her aunt did not receive many visitors -- that
her uncle's house was different from what her father's had been.
"Shall I not see you at all, then?" he asked.
She did not like to ask him after his own purposes of life, whether
he was now a resident in London, or whether he intended to return
to Rome. She was covered with bashfulness, and dreaded to seem
even to be interested in his affairs. "Oh, yes," she said,; "perhaps
we may meet some day."
"Here?" he asked.
"Oh, no; not here! It was only an accident." As she said this
she determined that she must walk no more in Kensington Gardens.
It would be dreadful, indeed, were he to imagine that she would
consent to make an appointment with him. It immediately occurred
to her that the lions were about, and that she must shut herself
up.
"I have thought of you every day since I have been back," he
said, "and I did not know where to hear of you. Now that we have
met am I to lose you again?" Lose her! What did he mean by losing
her? She, too, had found a friend -- she who had been so friendless!
Would it not be dreadful to her, also, to lose him? "Is there
no place where I may ask of you?"
"When Ayala is back, and they are in town, perhaps I shall sometimes
be at Lady Tringle's," said Lucy, resolved that she would not
tell him of her immediate abode. This was, at any rate, a certain
address from where he might commence further inquiries, should
he wish to make inquiry; and as such he accepted it. "I think
I had better go now," said Lucy, trembling at the apparent impropriety
of her present conversation.
He knew that it was intended that he should leave her, and he
went. "I hope I have not offended you in coming so far."
"Oh, no." Then again she gave him her hand and again there was
the same look as he took his leave.
When she got home, which was before the dusk, having resolved
that she must, at any rate, tell her aunt that she had met a
friend, she found that her uncle had returned from his office.
This was a most unusual occurrence. Her uncle, she knew, left
Somerset House exactly at half past four, and always took an
hour and a quarter for his walk. She had never seen him in Kingsbury
Crescent till a quarter before six. "I have got letters from
Rome," he said, in a solemn voice.
"From Ayala?"
"One from Ayala, for you. It is here. And I have had one from
my sister, also; and one, in the course of the day, from your
uncle in Lombard Street. You had better read them!" There was
something terribly tragic in Uncle Dosett's voice as he spoke.
And so must the reader read the letters; but they must be delayed
for a few chapters.
We must go back to Ayala's life during the autumn and winter.
She was rapidly whirled away to Glenbogie amidst the affectionate
welcomings of her aunt and cousins. All manner of good things
were done for her, as to presents and comforts. Young as she
was, she had money given to her, which was not without attraction;
and though she was, of course, in the depth of her mourning,
she was made to understand that even mourning might be made becoming
if no expense were spared. No expense among the Tringles ever
was spared, and at first Ayala liked the bounty of profusion.
But before the end of the first fortnight there grew upon her
a feeling that even bank-notes become tawdry if you are taught
to use them as curl-papers. It may be said that nothing in the
world is charming unless it be achieved at some trouble. If it
rained "'64 Leoville' -- which I regard as the most divine of
nectars -- I feel sure that I should never raise it to my lips.
Ayala did not argue the matter out in her mind, but in very early
days she began to entertain a dislike to Tringle magnificence.
There had been a good deal of luxury at the bijou, but always
with a feeling that it ought not to be there -- that more money
was being spent than prudence authorised -- which had certainly
added a savour to the luxuries. A lovely bonnet, is it not more
lovely because the destined wearer knows that there is some wickedness
in achieving it? All the bonnets, all the claret, all the horses,
seemed to come at Queen's Gate and at Glenbogie without any wickedness.
There was no more question about them than as to one's ordinary
bread and butter at breakfast. Sir Thomas had a way -- a merit
shall we call it or a fault? -- of pouring out his wealth upon
the family as though it were water running in perpetuity from
a mountain tarn. Ayala the romantic, Ayala the poetic, found
very soon that she did not like it.
Perhaps the only pleasure left to the very rich is that of thinking
of the deprivations of the poor. The bonnets, and the claret,
and the horses, have lost their charm; but the Gladstone, and
the old hats, and the four-wheeled cabs of their neighbours,
still have a little flavour for them. From this source it seemed
to Ayala that the Tringles drew much of the recreation of their
lives. Sir Thomas had his way of enjoying this amusement, but
it was a way that did not specially come beneath Ayala's notice.
When she heard that Break-at-last, the Huddersfield manufacturer,
had to sell his pictures, and that all Shoddy and Stuffgoods'
grand doings for the last two years had only been a flash in
the pan, she did not understand enough about it to feel wounded;
but when she heard her aunt say that people like the Poodles
had better not have a place in Scotland than have to let it,
and when Augusta hinted that Lady Sophia Smallware had pawned
her diamonds, then she felt that her nearest and dearest relatives
smelt abominably of money.
Of all the family Sir Thomas was most persistently the kindest
to her, though he was a man who did not look to be kind. She
was pretty, and though he was ugly himself he liked to look at
things pretty. He was, too, perhaps, a little tired of his own
wife and daughters -- who were indeed what he had made them,
but still were not quite to his taste. In a general way he gave
instructions that Ayala should be treated exactly as a daughter,
and he informed his wife that he intended to add a codicil to
his will on her behalf. "Is that necessary?" asked Lady Tringle,
who began to feel something like natural jealousy. "I suppose
I ought to do something for a girl if I take her by the hand,"
said Sir Thomas, roughly. "If she gets a husband I will give
her something, and that will do as well." Nothing more was said
about it, but when Sir Thomas went up to town the codicil was
added to his will.
Ayala was foolish rather than ungrateful, not understanding the
nature of the family to which she was relegated. Before she had
been taken away she had promised Lucy that she would be "obedient"
to her aunt. There had hardly been such a word as obedience known
at the bijou. If any were obedient, it was the mother and the
father to the daughters. Lucy, and Ayala as well, had understood
something of this; and therefore Ayala had promised to be obedient
to her aunt. "And to Uncle Thomas," Lucy had demanded, with an
imploring embrace. "Oh, yes," said Ayala, dreading her uncle
at that time. She soon learned that no obedience whatsoever was
exacted from Sir Thomas. She had to kiss him morning and evening,
and then to take whatever presents he made her. An easy uncle
he was to deal with, and she almost learned to love him. Nor
was Aunt Emmeline very exigeant, though she was fantastic and
sometimes disagreeable. But Augusta was the great difficulty.
Lucy had not told her to obey Augusta, and Augusta she would
not obey. Now Augusta demanded obedience.
"You never ordered me," Ayala had said to Lucy when they met
in London as the Tringles were passing through. At the bijou
there had been a republic, in which all the inhabitants and all
the visitors had been free and equal. Such republicanism had
been the very mainspring of life at the bijou. Ayala loved equality,
and she specially felt that it should exist among sisters. Do
anything for Lucy? Oh, yes, indeed, anything; abandon anything;
but for Lucy as a sister among sisters, not for an elder as from
a younger! And if she were not bound to serve Lucy then certainly
not Augusta. But Augusta liked to be served. On one occasion
she sent Ayala upstairs, and on another she sent Ayala downstairs.
Ayala went, but determined to be equal with her cousin. On the
morning following, in the presence of Aunt Emmeline and of Gertrude,
in the presence also of two other ladies who were visiting at
the house, she asked Augusta if she would mind running upstairs
and fetching her scrap-book! She had been thinking about it all
the night and all the morning, plucking up her courage. But she
had been determined. She found a great difficulty in saying the
words, but she said them. The thing was so preposterous that
all the ladies in the room looked aghast at the proposition.
"I really think that Augusta has got something else to do," said.
Aunt Emmeline. "Oh, very well," said Ayala, and then they were
all silent. Augusta, who was employed on a silk purse, sat still
and did not say a word.
Had a great secret, or rather a great piece of news which pervaded
the family, been previously communicated to Ayala, she would
not probably have made so insane a suggestion. Augusta was engaged
to be married to the Honourable Septimus Traffick, the member
for Port Glasgow. A young lady who is already half a bride is
not supposed to run up and down stairs as readily as a mere girl.
For running up and down stairs at the bijou Ayala had been proverbial.
They were a family who ran up and down with the greatest alacrity.
"Oh, papa, my basket is out on the seat' -- for there had been
a seat in the two-foot garden behind the house. Papa would go
down in two jumps and come up with three skips, and there was
the basket, only because his girl liked him to do something for
her. But for him Ayala would run about as though she were a tricksy
Ariel. Had the important matrimonial news been conveyed to Ariel,
with a true girl's spirit she would have felt that during the
present period Augusta was entitled to special exemption from
all ordering. Had she herself been engaged she would have run
more and quicker than ever -- would have been excited thereto
by the peculiar vitality of her new prospects; but to even Augusta
she would be subservient, because of her appreciation of bridal
importance. She, however, had not been told till that afternoon.
"You should not have asked Augusta to go upstairs," said Aunt
Emmeline, in a tone of mitigated reproach.
"Oh! I didn't know," said Ayala.
"You had meant to say that because she had sent you you were
to send her. There is a difference, you know."
"I didn't know," said Ayala, beginning to think that she would
fight her battle if told of such differences as she believed
to exist.
"I had meant to tell you before, but I may as well tell you now,
Augusta is engaged to be married to the Honourable Mr Septimus
Traffick. He is second son of Lord Boardotrade, and is in the
House."
"Dear me!" said Ayala, acknowledging at once within her heart
that the difference alleged was one against which she need not
rouse herself to the fight. Aunt Emmeline had, in truth, intended
to insist on that difference -- and another; but her courage
had failed her.
"Yes, indeed. He is a man very much thought of just now in public
life, and Augusta's mind is naturally much occupied. He writes
all those letters in The Times about supply and demand."
"Does he, aunt?" Ayala did feel that if Augusta's mind was entirely
occupied with supply and demand she ought not to be made to go
upstairs to fetch a scrap-book. But she had her doubts about
Augusta's mind. Nevertheless, if the forthcoming husband were
true, that might be a reason. "If anybody had told me before
I wouldn't have asked her," she said.
Then Lady Tringle explained that it had been thought better not
to say anything heretofore as to the coming matrimonial hilarities
because of the sadness which had fallen upon the Dormer family.
Ayala accepted this as an excuse, and nothing further was said
as to the iniquity of her request to her cousin. But there was
a general feeling among the women that Ayala, in lieu of gratitude,
had exhibited an intention of rebelling.
On the next day Mr Traffick arrived, whose coming had probably
made it necessary that the news should be told. Ayala was never
so surprised in her life as when she saw him. She had never yet
had a lover of her own, had never dreamed of a lover, but she
had her own idea as to what a lover ought to be. She had thought
that Isadore Hamel would be a very nice lover -- for her sister.
Hamel was young, handsome, with a great deal to say on such a
general subject as art, but too bashful to talk easily to the
girl he admired. Ayala had thought that all that was just as
it should be. She was altogether resolved that Hamel and her
sister should be lovers, and was determined to be devoted to
her future brother-in-law. But the Honourable Septimus Traffick!
It was a question to her whether her Uncle Tringle would not
have been better as a lover.
And yet there was nothing amiss about Mr Traffick. He was very
much like an ordinary hard-working member of the House of Commons,
over perhaps rather than under forty years of age. He was somewhat
bald, somewhat grey, somewhat fat, and had lost that look of
rosy plumpness which is seldom, I fear, compatible with hard
work and late hours. He was not particularly ugly, nor was he
absurd in appearance. But he looked to be a disciple of business,
not of pleasure, nor of art. "To sit out on the bank of a stream
and have him beside one would not be particularly nice," thought
Ayala to herself. Mr Traffick no doubt would have enjoyed it
very well if he could have spared the time; but to Ayala it seemed
that such a man as that could have cared nothing for love. As
soon as she saw him, and realised in her mind the fact that Augusta
was to become his wife, she felt at once the absurdity of sending
Augusta on a message.
Augusta that evening was somewhat more than ordinarily kind to
her cousin. Now that the great secret was told, her cousin no
doubt would recognise her importance. "I suppose you had not
heard of him before?" she said to Ayala.
"I never did."
"That's because you have not attended to the debates."
"I never have. What are debates?"
"Mr Traffick is very much thought of in the House of Commons
on all subjects affecting commerce."
"Oh!"
"It is the most glorious study which the world affords."
"The House of Commons. I don't think it can be equal to art."
Then Augusta turned up her nose with a double turn -- first as
against painters, Mr Dormer having been no more, and then at
Ayala's ignorance in supposing that the House of Commons could
have been spoken of as a study. "Mr Traffick will probably be
in the government some day," she said.
"Has not he been yet?" asked Ayala.
"Not yet."
"Then won't he be very old before he gets there?" This was a
terrible question. Young ladies of five-and-twenty, when they
marry gentlemen of four-and-fifty, make up their minds for well-understood
and well-recognised old age. They see that they had best declare
their purpose, and they do declare it. "Of course, Mr Walker
is old enough to be my father, but I have made up my mind that
I like that better than anything else." Then the wall has been
jumped, and the thing can go smoothly. But at forty-five there
is supposed to be so much of youth left that the difference of
age may possibly be tided over and not made to appear abnormal.
Augusta Tringle had determined to tide it over in this way. The
forty-five had been gradually reduced to "less than forty' --
though all the Peerages were there to give the lie to the assertion.
She talked of her lover as Septimus, and was quite prepared to
sit with him beside a stream if only half an hour for the amusement
could be found. When, therefore, Ayala suggested that if her
lover wanted to get into office he had better do so quickly,
lest he should be too old, Augusta was not well pleased.
"Lord Boardotrade was much older when he began," said Augusta.
"His friends, indeed, tell Septimus that he should not push himself
forward too quickly. But I don't think that I ever came across
anyone who was so ignorant of such things as you are, Ayala."
"Perhaps he is not so old as he looks," said Ayala. After this
it may be imagined that there was not close friendship between
the cousins. Augusta's mind was filled with a strong conception
as to Ayala's ingratitude. The houseless, penniless orphan had
been taken in, and had done nothing but make herself disagreeable.
Young! No doubt she was young. But had she been as old as Methuselah
she could not have been more insolent. It did not, however, matter
to her, Augusta. She was going away; but it would be terrible
to her mamma and to Gertrude! Thus it was that Augusta spoke
of her cousin to her mother.
And then there came another trouble, which was more troublesome
to Ayala even than the other. Tom Tringle, who was in the house
in Lombard Street, who was the only son, and heir to the title
and no doubt to much of the wealth, had chosen to take Ayala's
part and to enlist himself as her special friend. Ayala had,
at first, accepted him as a cousin, and had consented to fraternise
with him. Then, on some unfortunate day, there had been some
word or look which she had failed not to understand, and immediately
she had become afraid of Tom. Tom was not like Isadore Hamel
-- was very far, indeed, from that idea of a perfect lover which
Ayala's mind had conceived; but he was by no means a lout, or
an oaf, or an idiot, as Ayala in her letters to her sister had
described him. He had been first at Eton and then at Oxford,
and having spent a great deal of money recklessly, and done but
little towards his education, had been withdrawn and put into
the office. His father declared of him now that he would do fairly
well in the world. He had a taste for dress, and kept four or
five hunters which he got but little credit by riding. He made
a fuss about his shooting, but did not shoot much. He was stout
and awkward looking -- very like his father, but without that
settled air which age gives to heavy men. In appearance he was
not the sort of lover to satisfy the preconceptions of such a
girl as Ayala. But he was good-natured and true. At last he became
to her terribly true. His love, such as it seemed at first, was
absurd to her. "If you make yourself such a fool, Tom, I'll never
speak to you again," she had said, once. Even after that she
had not understood that it was more than a stupid joke. But the
joke, while it was considered as such, was very distasteful to
her; and afterwards, when a certain earnestness in it was driven
in upon her, it became worse than distasteful.
She repudiated his love with such power as she had, but she could
not silence him. She could not at all understand that a young
man, who seemed to her to be an oaf, should really be in love
-- honestly in love with her. But such was the case. Then she
became afraid lest others should see it -- afraid, though she
often told herself that she would appeal to her aunt for protection.
"I tell you I don't care a bit about you, and you oughtn't to
go on," she said. But he did go on, and though her aunt did not
see it Augusta did.
Then Augusta spoke a word to her in scorn. "Ayala," she said,
"you should not encourage Tom."
Encourage him! What a word from one girl to another! What a world
of wrong there was in the idea which had created the word! What
an absence of the sort of feeling which, according to Ayala's
theory of life, there should be on such a matter between two
sisters, two cousins, or two friends! Encourage him! When Augusta
ought to have been the first to assist her in her trouble! "Oh,
Augusta," she said, turning sharply round, "what a spiteful creature
you are."
"I suppose you think so, because I do not choose to approve."
"Approve of what! Tom is thoroughly disagreeable. Sometimes he
makes my life such a burden to me that I think I shall have to
go to my aunt. But you are worse. Oh!" exclaimed Ayala, shuddering
as she thought of the unwomanly treachery of which her cousin
was guilty towards her.
Nothing more came of it at Glenbogie. Tom was required in Lombard
Street, and the matter was not suspected by Aunt Emmeline --
as far, at least, as Ayala was aware. When he was gone it was
to her as though there would be a world of time before she would
see him again. They were to go to Rome, and he would not be at
Rome till January. Before that he might have forgotten his folly.
But Ayala was quite determined that she would never forget the
ill offices of Augusta. She did hate Augusta, as she had told
her sister. Then, in this frame of mind, the family was taken
to Rome.
During her journeying and during her sojourn at Rome Ayala did
enjoy much; but even these joys did not come to her without causing
some trouble of spirit. At Glenbogie everybody had known that
she was a dependent niece, and that as such she was in truth
nobody. On that morning when she had ordered Augusta to go upstairs
the two visitors had stared with amazement -- who would not have
stared at all had they heard Ayala ordered in the same way. But
it came about that in Rome Ayala was almost of more importance
than the Tringles. It was absolutely true that Lady Tringle and
Augusta and Gertrude were asked here and there because of Ayala;
and the worst of it was that the fact was at last suspected by
the Tringles themselves. Sometimes they would not always be asked.
One of the Tringle girls would only be named. But Ayala was never
forgotten. Once or twice an effort was made by some grand lady,
whose taste was perhaps more conspicuous than her good nature,
to get Ayala without burdening herself with any of the Tringles.
When this became clear to the mind of Augusta -- of Augusta,
engaged as she was to the Honourable Septimus Traffick, Member
of Parliament -- Augusta's feelings were -- such as may better
be understood than described! "Don't let her go, mamma," she
said to Lady Tringle one morning.
"But the Marchesa has made such a point of it."
"Bother the Marchesa! Who is the Marchesa? I believe it is all
Ayala's doing because she expects to meet that Mr Hamel. It is
dreadful to see the way she goes on."
"Mr Hamel was a very intimate friend of her father's."
"I don't believe a bit of it."
"He certainly used to be at his house. I remember seeing him."
"I daresay; but that doesn't justify Ayala in running after him
as she does. I believe that all this about the Marchesa is because
of Mr Hamel." This was better than believing that Ayala was to
be asked to sing, and that Ayala was to be feted and admired
and danced with, simply because Ayala was Ayala, and that they,
the Tringles, in spite of Glenbogie, Merle Park, and Queen's
Gate, were not wanted at all. But when Aunt Emmeline signified
to Ayala that on that particular morning she had better not go
to the Marchesa's picnic, Ayala simply said that she had promised
-- and Ayala went.
At this time no gentleman of the family was with them. Sir Thomas
had gone, and Tom Tringle had not come. Then, just at Christmas,
the Honourable Septimus Traffick came for a short visit -- a
very short visit, no more than four or five days, because Supply
and Demand were requiring all his services in preparation for
the coming Session of Parliament. But for five halcyon days he
was prepared to devote himself to the glories of Rome under the
guidance of Augusta. He did not of course sleep at the Palazzo
Ruperti, where it delighted Lady Tringle to inform her friends
in Rome that she had a suite of apartments au premiere, but he
ate there and drank there and almost lived there; so that it
became absolutely necessary to inform the world of Rome that
it was Augusta's destiny to become in course of time the Honourable
Mrs Traffick, otherwise the close intimacy would hardly have
been discreet -- unless it had been thought, as the ill-natured
Marchesa had hinted, that Mr Traffick was Lady Tringle's elder
brother. Augusta, however, was by no means ashamed of her lover.
Perhaps she felt that when it was known that she was about to
be the bride of so great a man then doors would be open for her
at any rate as wide as for her cousin. At this moment she was
very important to herself. She was about to convey no less a
sum than £120,000 to Mr Traffick, who in truth, as younger son
of Lord Boardotrade, was himself not well endowed. Considering
her own position and her future husband's rank and standing,
she did not know how a young woman could well be more important.
She was very important at any rate to Mr Traffick. She was sure
of that. When, therefore, she learned that Ayala had been asked
to a grand ball at the Marchesa's, that Mr Traffick was also
to be among the guests, and that none of the Tringles had been
invited -- then her anger became hot.
She must have been very stupid when she took it into her head
to be jealous of Mr Traffick's attention to her cousin; stupid,
at any rate, when she thought that her cousin was laying out
feminine lures for Mr Traffick. Poor Ayala! We shall see much
of her in these pages, and it may be well to declare of her at
once that her ideas at this moment about men -- or rather about
a possible man -- were confined altogether to the abstract. She
had floating in her young mind some fancies as to the beauty
of love. That there should be a hero must of course be necessary.
But in her day-dreams this hero was almost celestial -- or, at
least, athereal. It was a concentration of poetic perfection
to which there was not as yet any appanage of apparel, of features,
or of wealth. It was a something out of heaven which should think
it well to spend his whole time in adoring her and making her
more blessed than had ever yet been a woman upon the earth. Then
her first approach to a mundane feeling had been her acknowledgment
to herself that Isadore Hamel would do as a lover for Lucy. Isadore
Hamel was certainly very handsome -- was possessed of infinite
good gifts; but even he would by no means have come up to her
requirements for her own hero. That hero must have wings tinged
with azure, whereas Hamel had a not much more aetherealised than
ordinary coat and waistcoat. She knew that heroes with azure
wings were not existent save in the imagination, and, as she
desired a real lover for Lucy, Hamel would do. But for herself
her imagination was too valuable then to allow her to put her
foot upon earth. Such as she was, must not Augusta have been
very stupid to have thought that Ayala should become fond of
her Mr Traffick!
Her cousin Tom had come to her, and had been to her as a Newfoundland
dog is when he jumps all over you just when he has come out of
a horse-pond. She would have liked Tom had he kept his dog-like
gambols at a proper distance. But when he would cover her with
muddy water he was abominable. But this Augusta had not understood.
With Mr Traffick there would be no dog-like gambols; and, as
he was not harsh to her, Ayala liked him. She had liked her uncle.
Such men were, to her thinking, more like dogs than lovers. She
sang when Mr Traffick asked her, and made a picture for him,
and went with him to the Coliseum, and laughed at him about Supply
and Demand. She was very pretty, and perhaps Mr Traffick did
like to look at her.
"I really think you were too free with Mr Traffick last night,"
Augusta said to her one morning.
"Free! How free?"
"You were -- laughing at him."
"Oh, he likes that," said Ayala. "All that time we were up at
the top of St Peter's I was quizzing him about his speeches.
He lets me say just what I please."
This was wormwood. In the first place there had been a word or
two between the lovers about that going up of St Peter's, and
Augusta had refused to join them. She had wished Septimus to
remain down with her -- which would have been tantamount to preventing
any of the party from going up; but Septimus had persisted on
ascending. Then Augusta had been left for a long hour alone with
her mother. Gertrude had no doubt gone up, but Gertrude had lagged
during the ascent. Ayala had skipped up the interminable stairs
and Mr Traffick had trotted after her with admiring breathless
industry. This itself, with the thoughts of the good time which
Septimus might be having at the top, was very bad. But now to
be told that she, Ayala, should laugh at him; and that he, Septimus,
should like it! "I suppose he takes you to be a child," said
Augusta; "but if you are a child you ought to conduct yourself."
"I suppose he does perceive the difference," said Ayala.
She had not in the least known what the words might convey --
had probably meant nothing. But to Augusta it was apparent that
Ayala had declared that her lover, her Septimus, had preferred
her extreme youth to the more mature charms of his own true love
-- or had, perhaps, preferred Ayala's raillery to Augusta's serious
demeanour. "You are the most impertinent person I ever knew in
my life," said Augusta, rising from her chair and walking slowly
out of the room. Ayala stared after her, not above half comprehending
the cause of the anger.
Then came the very serious affair of the ball. The Marchesa had
asked that her dear little friend Ayala Dormer might be allowed
to come over to a little dance which her own girls were going
to have. Her own girls were so fond of Ayala! There would be
no trouble. There was a carriage which would be going somewhere
else, and she would be fetched and taken home. Ayala at once
declared that she intended to go, and her Aunt Emmeline did not
refuse her sanction. Augusta was shocked, declaring that the
little dance was to be one of the great balls of the season,
and pronouncing the whole to be a falsehood; but the affair was
arranged before she could stop it.
But Mr Traffick's affair in the matter came more within her range.
"Septimus," she said, "I would rather you would not go to that
woman's party." Septimus had been asked only on the day before
the party -- as soon, indeed, as his arrival had become known
to the Marchesa.
"Why, my own one?"
"She has not treated mamma well -- nor yet me."
"Ayala is going." He had no right to call her Ayala. So Augusta
thought.
"My cousin is behaving badly in the matter, and mamma ought not
to allow her to go. Who knows anything about the Marchesa Baldoni?"
"Both he and she are of the very best families in Rome," said
Mr Traffick, who knew everything about it.
"At any rate they are behaving very badly to us, and I will take
it as a favour that you do not go. Asking Ayala, and then asking
you, as good as from the same house, is too marked. You ought
not to go."
Perhaps Mr Traffick had on some former occasion felt some little
interference with his freedom of action. Perhaps he liked the
acquaintance of the Marchesa. Perhaps he liked Ayala Dormer.
Be that as it might, he would not yield. "Dear Augusta, it is
right that I should go there, if it be only for half an hour."
This he said in a tone of voice with which Augusta was already
acquainted, which she did not love, and which, when she heard
it, would make her think of her £120,000. When he had spoken
he left her, and she began to think of her £120,000.
They both went, Ayala and Mr Traffick -- and Mr Traffick, instead
of staying half an hour, brought Ayala back at three o'clock
in the morning. Though Mr Traffick was nearly as old as Uncle
Tringle, yet he could dance. Ayala had been astonished to find
how well he could dance, and thought that she might please her
cousin Augusta by praising the juvenility of her lover at luncheon
the next day. She had not appeared at breakfast, but had been
full of the ball at lunch. "Oh, dear, yes, I dare say there were
two hundred people there."
"That is what she calls a little dance," said Augusta, with scorn.
"I suppose that is the Italian way of talking about it," said
Ayala.
"Italian way! I hate Italian ways."
"Mr Traffick liked it very much. I'm sure he'll tell you so.
I had no idea he would care to dance."
Augusta only shook herself and turned up her nose. Lady Tringle
thought it necessary to say something in defence of her daughter's
choice. "Why should not Mr Traffick dance like any other gentleman?"
"Oh, I don't know. I thought that a man who makes so many speeches
in Parliament would think of something else. I was very glad
he did, for he danced three times with me. He can waltz as lightly
as -- " As though he were young, she was going to say, but then
she stopped herself.
"He is the best dancer I ever danced with," said Augusta.
"But you almost never do dance," said Ayala.
"I suppose I may know about it as well as another," said Augusta,
angrily.
The next day was the last of Mr Traffick's sojourn in Rome, and
on that day he and Augusta so quarrelled that, for a certain
number of hours, it was almost supposed in the family that the
match would be broken off. On the afternoon of the day after
the dance, Mr Traffick was walking with Ayala on the Pincian,
while Augusta was absolutely remaining behind with her mother.
For a quarter of an hour -- the whole day, as it seemed to Augusta
-- there was a full two hundred yards between them. It was not
that the engaged girl could not bear the severance, but that
she could not endure the attention paid to Ayala. On the next
morning "she had it out", as some people say, with her lover.
"If I am to be treated in this way you had better tell me so
at once," she said.
"I know no better way of treating you," said Mr Traffick.
"Dancing with that chit all night, turning her head, and then
walking with her all the next day! I will not put up with such
conduct."
Mr Traffick valued £120,000 very highly, as do most men, and
would have done much to keep it; but he believed that the best
way of making sure of it would be by showing himself to be the
master. "My own one," he said, "you are really making an ass
of yourself."
"Very well! Then I will write to papa, and let him know that
it must be all over."
For three hours there was terrible trouble in the apartments
in the Palazzo Ruperti, during which Mr Traffick was enjoying
himself by walking up and down the Forum, and calculating how
many Romans could have congregated themselves in the space which
is supposed to have seen so much of the world's doings. During
this time Augusta was very frequently in hysterics; but, whether
in hysterics or out of them, she would not allow Ayala to come
near her. She gave it to be understood that Ayala had interfered
fatally, foully, damnably, with all her happiness. She demanded,
from fit to fit, that telegrams should be sent over to bring
her father to Italy for her protection. She would rave about
Septimus, and then swear that, under no consideration whatever,
would she ever see him again. At the end of three hours she was
told that Septimus was in the drawing-room. Lady Tringle had
sent half a dozen messengers after him, and at last he was found
looking up at the Arch of Titus. "Bid him go," said Augusta.
"I never want to behold him again." But within two minutes she
was in his arms, and before dinner she was able to take a stroll
with him on the Pincian.
He left, like a thriving lover, high in the good graces of his
beloved; but the anger which had fallen on Ayala had not been
removed. Then came a rumour that the Marchesa, who was half English,
had called Ayala Cinderella, and the name had added fuel to the
fire of Augusta's wrath. There was much said about it between
Lady Tringle and her daughter, the aunt really feeling that more
blame was being attributed to Ayala than she deserved. "Perhaps
she gives herself airs," said Lady Tringle, "but really it is
no more."
"She is a viper," said Augusta.
Gertrude rather took Ayala's part, telling her mother, in private,
that the accusation about Mr Traffick was absurd. "The truth
is", said Gertrude, "that Ayala thinks herself very clever and
very beautiful, and Augusta will not stand it." Gertrude acknowledged
that Ayala was upsetting and ungrateful. Poor Lady Tringle, in
her husband's absence, did not know what to do about her niece.
Altogether, they were uncomfortable after Mr Traffick went and
before Tom Tringle had come. On no consideration whatsoever would
Augusta speak to her cousin. She declared that Ayala was a viper,
and would give no other reason. In all such quarrelings the matter
most distressing is that the evil cannot be hidden. Everybody
at Rome who knew the Tringles, or who knew Ayala, was aware that
Augusta Tringle would not speak to her cousin. When Ayala was
asked she would shake her locks, and open her eyes, and declare
that she knew nothing about it. In truth she knew very little
about it. She remembered that passage-at-arms about the going
upstairs at Glenbogie, but she could hardly understand that for
so small an affront, and one so distant, Augusta would now refuse
to speak to her. That Augusta had always been angry with her,
and since Mr Traffick's arrival more angry than ever, she had
felt; but that Augusta was jealous in respect to her lover had
never yet at all come home to Ayala. That she should have wanted
to captivate Mr Traffick -- she with her high ideas of some transcendental,
more than human, hero!
But she had to put up with it, and to think of it. She had sense
enough to know that she was no more than a stranger in her aunt's
family, and that she must go if she made herself unpleasant to
them. She was aware that hitherto she had not succeeded with
her residence among them. Perhaps she might have to go. Some
things she would bear, and in them she would endeavour to amend
her conduct. In other matters she would hold her own, and go,
if necessary. Though her young imagination was still full of
her unsubstantial hero -- though she still had her castles in
the air altogether incapable of terrestrial foundation -- still
there was a common sense about her which told her that she must
give and take. She would endeavour to submit herself to her aunt.
She would be kind -- as she had always been kind -- to Gertrude.
She would in all matters obey her uncle. Her misfortune with
the Newfoundland dog had almost dwindled out of her mind. To
Augusta she could not submit herself. But then Augusta, as soon
as the next session of Parliament should be over, would be married
out of the way. And, on her own part, she did think that her
aunt was inclined to take her part in the quarrel with Augusta.
Thus matters were going on in Rome when there came up another
and a worse cause for trouble.
Tom Tringle, though he had first appeared to his cousin Ayala
as a Newfoundland dog which might perhaps be pleasantly playful,
and then, as the same dog, very unpleasant because dripping with
muddy water, was nevertheless a young man with so much manly
truth about him as to be very much in love. He did not look like
it; but then perhaps the young men who do fall most absolutely
into love do not look like it. To Ayala her cousin Tom was as
unloveable as Mr Septimus Traffick. She could like them both
well enough while they would be kind to her. But as to regarding
cousin Tom as a lover -- the idea was so preposterous to her
that she could not imagine that anyone else should look upon
it as real. But with Tom the idea had been real, and was, moreover,
permanent. The black locks which would be shaken here and there,
the bright glancing eyes which could be so joyous and could be
so indignant, the colour of her face which had nothing in it
of pink, which was brown rather, but over which the tell-tale
blood would rush with a quickness which was marvellous to him,
the lithe quick figure which had in it nothing of the weight
of earth, the little foot which in itself was a perfect joy,
the step with all the elasticity of a fawn -- these charms together
had mastered him. Tom was not romantic or poetic, but the romance
and poetry of Ayala had been divine to him. It is not always
like to like in love. Titania loved the weaver Bottom with the
ass's head. Bluebeard, though a bad husband, is supposed to have
been fond of his last wife. The Beauty has always been beloved
by the Beast. To Ayala the thing was monstrous: but it was natural.
Tom Tringle was determined to have his way, and when he started
for Rome was more intent upon his love-making than all the glories
of the Capitol and the Vatican.
When he first made his appearance before Ayala's eyes he was
bedecked in a manner that was awful to her. Down at Glenbogie
he had affected a rough attire, as is the custom with young men
of ample means when fishing, shooting, or the like, is supposed
to be the employment then in hand. The roughness had been a little
overdone, but it had added nothing to his own uncouthness. In
London he was apt to run a little towards ornamental gilding,
but in London his tastes had been tempered by the ill-natured
criticism of the world at large. He had hardly dared at Queen's
Gate to wear his biggest pins; but he had taken upon himself
to think that at Rome an Englishman might expose himself with
all his jewelry. "Oh, Tom, I never saw anything so stunning,"
his sister Gertrude said to him. He had simply frowned upon her,
and had turned himself to Ayala, as though Ayala, being an artist,
would be able to appreciate something beautiful in art. Ayala
had looked at him and had marvelled, and had ventured to hope
that, with his Glenbogie dress, his Glenbogie manners and Glenbogie
propensities would be changed.
At this time the family at Rome was very uncomfortable. Augusta
would not speak to her cousin, and had declared to her mother
and sister her determination never to speak to Ayala again. For
a time Aunt Emmeline had almost taken her niece's part, feeling
that she might, best bring things back to a condition of peace
in this manner. Ayala, she had thought, might thus be decoyed
into a state of submission. Ayala, so instigated, had made her
attempt. "What is the matter, Augusta," she had said, "that you
are determined to quarrel with me?" Then had followed a little
offer that bygones should be bygones.
"I have quarrelled with you", said Augusta, "because you do not
know how to behave yourself." Then Ayala had flashed forth, and
the little attempt led to a worse condition than ever, and words
were spoken which even Aunt Emmeline had felt to be irrevocable,
irremediable.
"Only that you are going away I would not consent to live here."
said Ayala. Then Aunt Emmeline had asked her where she would
go to live should it please her to remove herself. Ayala had
thought of this for a moment, and then had burst into tears.
"If I could not live I could die. Anything would be better than
to be treated as she treats me." So the matters were when Tom
came to Rome with all his jewelry.
Lady Tringle had already told herself that, in choosing Ayala,
she had chosen wrong. Lucy, though not so attractive as Ayala,
was pretty, quiet, and ladylike. So she thought now. And as to
Ayala's attractions, they were not at all of a nature to be serviceable
to such a family as hers. To have her own girls outshone, to
be made to feel that the poor orphan was the one person most
worthy of note among them, to be subjected to the caprices of
a pretty, proud, ill-conditioned minx -- thus it was that Aunt
Emmeline was taught to regard her own charity and good-nature
towards her niece. There was, she said, no gratitude in Ayala.
Had she said that there was no humility she would have been more
nearly right. She was entitled, she thought, to expect both gratitude
and humility, and she was sorry that she had opened the Paradise
of her opulent home to one so little grateful and so little humble
as Ayala. She saw now her want of judgment in that she had not
taken Lucy.
Tom, who was not a fool, in spite of his trinkets, saw the state
of the case, and took Ayala's part at once. "I think you are
quite right,"he said to her, on the first occasion on which he
had contrived to find himself alone with her after his arrival.
"Right about what?"
"In not giving up to Augusta. She was always like that when she
was a child, and now her head is turned about Traffick."
"I shouldn't grudge her her lover if she would only let me alone."
"I don't suppose she hurts you much?"
"She sets my aunt against me, and that makes me unhappy. Of course
I am wretched."
"Oh, Ayala, don't be wretched."
"How is one to help it? I never said an ill-natured word to her,
and now I am so lonely among them!" In saying this -- in seeking
to get one word of sympathy from her cousin, she forgot for a
moment his disagreeable pretensions. But, no sooner had she spoken
of her loneliness, than she saw that ogle in his eye of which
she had spoken with so much ludicrous awe in her letters from
Glenbogie to her sister.
"I shall always take your part," said he.
"I don't want any taking of parts."
"But I shall. I am not going to see you put upon. You are more
to me, Ayala, than any of them." Then he looked at her, whereupon
she got up and ran away.
But she could not always run away, nor could she always refuse
when he asked her to go with him about the show-places of the
city. To avoid starting alone with him was within her power;
but she found herself compelled to join herself to Gertrude and
her brother in some of those little excursions which were taken
for her benefit. At this time there had come to be a direct quarrel
between Lady Tringle and the Marchesa, which, however, had arisen
altogether on the part of Augusta. Augusta had forced her mother
to declare that she was insulted, and then there was no more
visiting between them. This had been sad enough for Ayala, who
had struck up an intimacy with the Marchesa's daughters. But
the Marchesa had explained to her that there was no help for
it. "It won't do for you to separate yourself from your aunt,"
she had said. "Of course we shall be friends, and at some future
time you shall come and see us." So there had been a division,
and Ayala would have been quite alone had she declined the proffered
companionship of Gertrude.
Within the walls and arches and upraised terraces of the Coliseum
they were joined one day by young Hamel, the sculptor, who had
not, as yet, gone back to London -- and had not, as yet, met
Lucy in the gardens at Kensington; and with him there had been
one Frank Houston, who had made acquaintance with Lady Tringle,
and with the Tringles generally, since they had been at Rome.
Frank Houston was a young man of family, with a taste for art,
very good-looking, but not specially well off in regard to income.
He had heard of the good fortune of Septimus Traffick in having
prepared for himself a connection with so wealthy a family as
the Tringles, and had thought it possible that a settlement in
life might be comfortable for himself. What few softwords he
had hitherto been able to say to Gertrude had been taken in good
part, and when, therefore, they met among the walls of the Coliseum,
she had naturally straggled away to see some special wonder which
he had a special aptitude for showing. Hamel remained with Ayala
and Tom, talking of the old days at the bijou, till he found
himself obliged to leave them. Then Tom had his opportunity.
"Ayala," he said, "all this must be altered."
"What must be altered?"
"If you only knew, Ayala, how much you are to me."
"I wish you wouldn't, Tom. I don't want to be anything to anybody
in particular."
"What I mean is, that I won't have them sit upon you. They treat
you as -- as -- well, as though you had only half a right to
be one of them."
"No more I have. I have no right at all."
"But that's not the way I want it to be. If you were my wife
-- "
"Tom, pray don't."
"Why not? I'm in earnest. Why ain't I to speak as I think? Oh,
Ayala, if you knew how much I think of you."
"But you shouldn't. You haven't got a right."
"I have got a right."
"But I don't want it, Tom, and I won't have it." He had carried
her away now to the end of the terrace, or ruined tier of seats,
on which they were walking, and had got her so hemmed into a
corner that she could not get away from him. She was afraid of
him, lest he should put out his hand to take hold of her -- lest
something even more might be attempted. And yet his manner was
manly and sincere, and had it not been for his pins and his chains
she could not but have acknowledged his goodness to her, much
as she might have disliked his person. "I want to get out," she
said. "I won't stay here any more. Mr Traffick, on the top of
St Peter's, had been a much pleasanter companion.
"Don't you believe me when I tell you that I love you better
than anybody?" pleaded Tom.
"No."
"Not believe me? Oh, Ayala!"
"I don't want to believe anything. I want to get out. If you
go on, I'll tell my aunt."
Tell her aunt! There was a want of personal consideration to
himself in this way of receiving his addresses which almost angered
him. Tom Tringle was not in the least afraid of his mother --
was not even afraid of his father as long as he was fairly regular
at the office in Lombard Street. He was quite determined to please
himself in marriage, and was disposed to think that his father
and mother would like him to be settled. Money was no object.
There was, to his thinking, no good reason why he should not
marry his cousin. For her the match was so excellent that he
hardly expected she would reject him when she could be made to
understand that he was really in earnest. "You may tell all the
world," lie said proudly. "All I want is that you should love
me."
"But I don't. There are Gertrude and Mr Houston, and I want to
go to them."
"Say one nice word to me, Ayala."
"I don't know how to say a nice word. Can't you be made to understand
that I don't like it?"
"Ayala."
"Why don't you let me go away?"
"Ayala -- give me -- one -- kiss." Then Ayala did go away, escaping
by some kid-like manoeuvre among the ruins, and running quickly,
while he followed her, joined herself to the other pair of lovers,
who probably were less in want of her society than she of theirs.
"Ayala, I am quite in earnest," said Tom, as they were walking
home, "and I mean to go on with it."
Ayala thought that there was nothing for it but to tell her aunt.
That there would be some absurdity in such a proceeding she did
feel -- that she would be acting as though her cousin were a
naughty boy who was merely teasing her. But she felt also the
peculiar danger of her own position. Her aunt must be made to
understand that she, Ayala, was innocent in the matter. It would
be terrible to her to be suspected even for a moment of a desire
to inveigle the heir. That Augusta would bring such an accusation
against her she thought probable. Augusta had said as much even
at Glenbogie. She must therefore be on the alert, and let it
be understood at once that she was not leagued with her cousin
Tom. There would be an absurdity -- but that would be better
than suspicion.
She thought about it all that afternoon, and in the evening she
came to a resolution. She would write a letter to her cousin
and persuade him if possible to desist. If he should again annoy
her after that she would appeal to her aunt. Then she wrote and
sent her letter, which was as follows --
DEAR TOM?
You don't know how unhappy you made me at the Coliseum today.
I don't think you ought to turn against me when you know what
I have to bear. It is turning against me to talk as you did.
Of course it means nothing; but you shouldn't do it. It never
never could mean anything. I hope you will be good-natured and
kind to me, and then I shall be so much obliged to you. If you
won't say anything more like that I will forget it altogether.
Your affectionate cousin,
AYALA
The letter ought to have convinced him. Those two underscored
nevers should have eradicated from his mind the feeling which
had been previously produced by the assertion that he had "meant
nothing". But he was so assured in his own meanings that he paid
no attention whatever to the nevers. The letter was a delight
to him because it gave him the opportunity of a rejoinder --
and he wrote his rejoinder on a scented sheet of notepaper and
copied it twice --
DEAREST AYALA,
Why do you say that it means nothing? It means everything. No
man was ever more in earnest in speaking to a lady than I am
with you. Why should I not be in earnest when I am so deeply
in love? From the first moment in which I saw you down at Glenbogie
I knew how it was going to be with me.
As for my mother I don't think she would say a word. Why should
she? But I am not the sort of man to be talked out of my intentions
in such a matter as this. I have set my heart upon having you
and nothing will ever turn me off.
Dearest Ayala, let me have one look to say that you will love
me, and I shall be the happiest man in England. I think you so
beautiful! I do, indeed. The governor has always said that if
I would settle down and marry there should be lots of money.
What could I do better with it than make my darling look as grand
as the best of them?
Yours, always meaning it, Most affectionately,
T. TRINGLE
It almost touched her -- not in the way of love but of gratitude.
He was still to her like Bottom with the ass's head, or the Newfoundland
dog gambolling out of the water. There was the heavy face, and
there were the big chains and the odious rings, and the great
hands and the clumsy feet -- making together a creature whom
it was impossible even to think of with love. She shuddered as
she remembered the proposition which had been made to her in
the Coliseum.
And now by writing to him she had brought down upon herself this
absolute love-letter. She had thought that by appealing to him
as "Dear Tom," and by signing herself his affectionate cousin,
she might have prevailed. If he could only be made to understand
that it could never mean anything! But now, on the other hand,
she had begun to understand that it did mean a great deal. He
had sent to her a regular offer of marriage! The magnitude of
the thing struck her at last. The heir of all the wealth of her
mighty uncle wanted to make her his wife!
But it was to her exactly as though the heir had come to her
wearing an ass's head on his shoulders. Love him! Marry him!
or even touch him? Oh, no. They might ill-use her; they might
scold her,; they might turn her out of the house; but no consideration
would induce her to think of Tom Tringle as a lover.
And yet he was in earnest, and honest, and good. And some answer
-- some further communication must be made to him. She did recognise
some nobility in him, though personally he was so distasteful
to her. Now his appeal to her had taken the guise of an absolute
offer of marriage he was entitled to a discreet and civil answer.
Romantic, dreamy, poetic, childish as she was, she knew as much
as that. "Go away, Tom, you fool, you," would no longer do for
the occasion. As she thought of it all that night it was borne
in upon her more strongly than ever that her only protection
would be in telling her aunt, and in getting her aunt to make
Tom understand that there must be no more of it. Early on the
following morning she found herself in her aunt's bedroom.
"Aunt Emmeline, I want you to read this letter." So it was that
Ayala commenced the interview. At this moment Ayala was not on
much better terms with her aunt than she was with her cousin
Augusta. Ayala was a trouble to her -- Lady Tringle -- who was
altogether perplexed with the feeling that she had burdened herself
with an inmate in her house who was distasteful to her and of
whom she could not rid herself. Ayala had turned out on her hands
something altogether different from the girl she had intended
to cherish and patronise. Ayala was independent; superior rather
than inferior to her own girls; more thought of by others; apparently
without any touch of that subservience which should have been
produced in her by her position. Ayala seemed to demand as much
as though she were a daughter of the house, and at the same time
to carry herself as though she were more gifted than the daughters
of the house. She was less obedient even than a daughter. All
this Aunt Emmeline could not endure with a placid bosom. She
was herself kind of heart. She acknowledged her duty to her dead
sister. She wished to protect and foster the orphan. She did
not even yet wish to punish Ayala by utter desertion. She would
protect her in opposition to Augusta's more declared malignity;
but she did wish to be rid of Ayala, if she only knew how.
She took her son's letter and read it, and as a matter of course
misunderstood the position. At Glenbogie something had been whispered
to her about Tom and Ayala, but she had not believed much in
it. Ayala was a child, and Tom was to her not much more than
a boy. But now here was a genuine love-letter -- a letter in
which her son had made a distinct proposition to marry the orphan.
She did not stop to consider why Ayala had brought the letter
to her, but entertained at once an idea that the two young people
were going to vex her very soul by a lamentable love affair.
How imprudent she had been to let the two young people be together
in Rome, seeing that the matter had been whispered to her at
Glenbogie! "How long has this been going on?" she asked, severely.
"He used to tease me at Glenbogie, and now he is doing it again,"
said Ayala.
"There must certainly be put an end to it. You must go away."
Ayala knew at once that her aunt was angry with her, and was
indignant at the injustice. "Of course there must be put an end
to it, Aunt Emmeline. He has no right to annoy me when I tell
him not."
"I suppose you have encouraged him."
This was too cruel to be borne! Encouraged him! Ayala's anger
was caused not so much by a feeling that her aunt had misappreciated
the cause of her coming as that it should have been thought possible
that she should have "encouraged" such a lover. It was the outrage
to her taste rather than to her conduct which afflicted her.
"He is a lout," she said; "a stupid lout!" thus casting her scorn
upon the mother as well as on the son, and, indeed, upon the
whole family. "I have not encouraged him. It is untrue."
"Ayala, you are very impertinent."
"And you are very unjust. Because I want to put a stop to it
I come to you, and you tell me that I encourage him. You are
worse than Augusta."
This was too much for the good nature even of Aunt Emmeline.
Whatever may have been the truth as to the love affair, however
innocent Ayala may have been in that matter, or however guilty
Tom, such words from a niece to her aunt -- from a dependent
to her superior -- were unpardonable. The extreme youthfulness
of the girl, a peculiar look of childhood which she still had
with her, made the feeling so much the stronger. "You are worse
than Augusta!"
And this was said to her who was specially conscious of her endeavours
to mitigate Augusta's just anger. She bridled up, and tried to
look big and knit her brows. At that moment she could not think
what must be the end of it, but she felt that Ayala must be crushed.
"How dare you speak to me like that, Miss?" she said.
"So you are. It is very cruel. Tom will go on saying all this
nonsense to me, and when I come to you you say I encourage him!
I never encouraged him. I despise him too much. I did not think
my own aunt could have told me that I encouraged any man. No,
I didn't. You drive me to it, so that I have got to be impertinent."
"You had better go to your room," said the aunt. Then Ayala,
lifting her head as high as she knew how, walked towards the
door. "You had better leave that letter with me." Ayala considered
the matter for a moment, and then handed the letter a second
time to her aunt. It could be nothing to her who saw the letter.
She did not want it. Having thus given it up she stalked off
in silent disdain and went to her chamber.
Aunt Emmeline, when she was left alone, felt herself to be enveloped
in a cloud of doubt. The desirableness of Tom as a husband first
forced itself upon her attention, and the undesirableness of
Ayala as a wife for Tom. She was perplexed at her own folly in
not having seen that danger of this kind would arise when she
first proposed to take Ayala into the house. Aunts and uncles
do not like the marriage of cousins, and the parents of rich
children do not, as a rule, approve of marriages with those which
are poor. Although Ayala had been so violent, Lady Tringle could
not rid herself of the idea that her darling boy was going to
throw himself away. Then her cheeks became red with anger as
she remembered that her Tom had been called a lout -- a stupid
lout. There was an ingratitude in the use of such language which
was not alleviated even by the remembrance that it tended against
that matrimonial danger of which she was so much afraid. Ayala
was behaving very badly. She ought not to have coaxed Tom to
be her lover, and she certainly ought not to have called Tom
a lout. And then Ayala had told her aunt that she was unjust
and worse than Augusta! It was out of the question that such
a state of things should be endured. Ayala must be made to go
away.
Before the day was over Lady Tringle spoke to her son, and was
astonished to find that the "lout" was quite in earnest -- so
much in earnest that he declared his purpose of marrying his
cousin in opposition to his father and mother, in opposition
even to Ayala herself. He was so much in earnest that he would
not be roused to wrath even when he was told that Ayala had called
him a lout. And then grew upon the mother a feeling that the
young man had never been so little loutish before. For there
had been, even in her maternal bosom, a feeling that Tom was
open to the criticism expressed on him. Tom had been a hobble
de hoy, one of those overgrown lads who come late to their manhood,
and who are regarded by young ladies as louts. Though he had
spent his money only too freely when away, his sisters had sometimes
said that he could not say "bo to a goose" at home. But now --
now Tom was quite an altered young man. When his own letter was
shown to him he simply said that he meant to stick to it. When
it was represented to him that his cousin would be quite an unfit
wife for him he assured his mother that his own opinion on that
matter was very different. When his father's anger was threatened
he declared that his father would have no right to be angry with
him if he married a lady. At the word "lout" he simply smiled.
"She'll come to think different from that before she's done with
me," he said, with a smile. Even the mother could not but perceive
that the young man had been much improved by his love.
But what was she to do? Two or three days went on, during which
there was no reconciliation between her and Ayala. Between Augusta
and Ayala no word was spoken. Messages were taken to her by Gertrude,
the object of which was to induce her to ask her aunt's pardon.
But Ayala was of opinion that her aunt ought to ask her pardon,
and could not be beaten from it. "Why did she say that I encouraged
him?" she demanded indignantly of Gertrude. "I don't think she
did encourage him," said Gertrude to her mother. This might possibly
be true, but not the less had she misbehaved. And though she
might not yet have encouraged her lover it was only too probable
that she might do so when she found that her lover was quite
in earnest.
Lady Tringle was much harassed. And then there came an additional
trouble. Gertrude informed her mother that she had engaged herself
to Mr Francis Houston, and that Mr Houston was going to write
to her father with the object of proposing himself as a son-in-law.
Mr Houston came also to herself and told her, in the most natural
tone in the world, that he intended to marry her daughter. She
had not known what to say. It was Sir Thomas who managed all
matters of money. She had an idea that Mr Houston was very poor.
But then so also had been Mr Traffick, who had been received
into the family with open arms. But then Mr Traffick had a career,
whereas Mr Houston was lamentably idle. She could only refer
Mr Houston to Sir Thomas, and beg him not to come among them
any more till Sir Thomas had decided. Upon this Gertrude also
got angry, and shut herself up in her room. The apartments Ruperti
were, therefore, upon the whole, an uncomfortable home to them.
Letters upon letters were written to Sir Thomas, and letters
upon letters came. The first letter had been about Ayala. He
had been much more tender towards Ayala than her aunt had been.
He talked of calf-love, and said that Tom was a fool; but he
had not at once thought it necessary to give imperative orders
for Tom's return. As to Ayala's impudence, he evidently regarded
it as nothing. It was not till Aunt Emmeline had spoken out in
her third letter that he seemed to recognise the possibility
of getting rid of Ayala altogether. And this he did in answer
to a suggestion which had been made to him. "If she likes to
change with her sister Lucy, and you like it, I shall not object,"
said Sir Thomas. Then there came an order to Tom that he should
return to Lombard Street at once; but this order had been rendered
abortive by the sudden return of the whole family. Sir Thomas,
in his first letter as to Gertrude, had declared that the Houston
marriage would not do at all. Then, when he was told that Gertrude
and Mr Houston had certainly met each other more than once since
an order had been given for their separation, he desired the
whole family to come back at once to Merle Park.
The proposition as to Lucy had arisen in this wise. Tom being
in the same house with Ayala, of course had her very much at
advantage, and would carry on his suit in spite of any abuse
which she might lavish upon him. It was quite in vain that she
called him lout. "You'll think very different from that some
of these days, Ayala," he said, more seriously.
"No, I shan't; I shall think always the same."
"When you know how much I love you, you'll change."
"I don't want you to love me," she said; "and if you were anything
that is good you wouldn't go on after I have told you so often.
It is not manly of you. You have brought me to all manner of
trouble. It is your fault, but they make me suffer."
After that Ayala again went to her aunt, and on this occasion
the family misfortune was discussed in more seemly language.
Ayala was still indignant, but she said nothing insolent. Aunt
Emmeline was still averse to her niece, but she abstained from
crimination. They knew each as enemies, but recognised the wisdom
of keeping the peace. "As for that, Aunt Emmeline," Ayala said,
"you may be quite sure that I shall never encourage him. I shall
never like him well enough."
"Very well. Then we need say no more about that, my dear. Of
course, it must be unpleasant to us all, being in the same house
together."
"It is very unpleasant to me, when he will go on bothering me
like that. It makes me wish that I were anywhere else."
Then Aunt Emmeline began to think about it very seriously. It
was very unpleasant. Ayala had made herself disagreeable to all
the ladies of the family, and only too agreeable to the young
gentleman. Nor did the manifest favour of Sir Thomas do much
towards raising Ayala in Lady Tringle's estimation. Sir Thomas
had only laughed when Augusta had been requested to go upstairs
for the scrap-book. Sir Thomas had been profuse with his presents
even when Ayala had been most persistent in her misbehaviour.
And then all that affair of the Marchesa, and even Mr Traffick's
infatuation! If Ayala wished that she were somewhere else would
it not be well to indulge her wish! Aunt Emmeline certainly wished
it. "If you think so, perhaps some arrangement can be made,"
said Aunt Emmeline, very slowly.
"What arrangement?"
"You must not suppose that I wish to turn you out."
"But what arrangement?"
"You see, Ayala, that unfortunately we have not all of us hit
it on nicely; have we?"
"Not at all, Aunt Emmeline. Augusta is always angry with me.
And you -- you think that I have encouraged Tom."
"I am saying nothing about that, Ayala."
"But what arrangement is it, Aunt Emmeline?" The matter was one
of fearful import to Ayala. She was prudent enough to understand
that well. The arrangement must be one by which she would be
banished from all the wealth of the Tringles. Her coming among
them had not been a success. She had already made them tired
of her by her petulance and independence. Young as she was she
could see that, and comprehend the material injury she had done
herself by her folly. She had been very wrong in telling Augusta
to go upstairs. She had been wrong in the triumph of her exclusive
visits to the Marchesa. She had been wrong in walking away with
Mr Traffick on the Pincian. She could see that. She had not been
wrong in regard to Tom -- except in calling him a lout; but whether
wrong or right she had been most unfortunate. But the thing had
been done, and she must go.
At this moment the wealth of the Tringles seemed to be more to
her than it had ever been before -- and her own poverty and destitution
seemed to be more absolute. When the word "arrangement" was whispered
to her there came upon her a clear idea of all that which she
was to lose. She was to be banished from Merle Park, from Queen's
Gate, and from Glenbogie. For her there were to be no more carriages,
and horses, and pretty trinkets -- none of that abandon of the
luxury of money among which the Tringles lived. But she had done
it for herself, and she would not say a word in opposition to
the fate which was before her. "What arrangement, aunt?" she
said again, in a voice which was intended to welcome any arrangement
that might be made.
Then her aunt spoke very softly. "Of course, dear Ayala, we do
not wish to do less than we at first intended. But as you are
not happy here -- " Then she paused, almost ashamed of herself.
"I am not happy here," said Ayala, boldly.
"How would it be if you were to change -- with Lucy?"
The idea which had been present to Lady Tringle for some weeks
past had never struck Ayala. The moment she heard it she felt
that she was more than ever bound to assent. If the home from
which she was to be banished was good, then would that good fall
upon Lucy. Lucy would have the carriages and the horses and the
trinkets, Lucy, who certainly was not happy at Kingsbury Crescent.
"I should be very glad, indeed," said Ayala.
Her voice was so brave and decided that, in itself, it gave fresh
offence to her aunt. Was there to be no regret after so much
generosity? But she misunderstood the girl altogether. As the
words were coming from her lips -- "I should be very glad, indeed,"
-- Ayala's heart was sinking with tenderness as she remembered
how much after all had been done for her. But as they wished
her to go there should be not a word, not a sign of unwillingness
on her part.
"Then perhaps it can be arranged," said Lady Tringle.
"I don't know what Uncle Dosett may say. Perhaps they are very
fond of Lucy now."
"They wouldn't wish to stand in her way, I should think."
"At any rate, I won't. If you, and my uncles, and Aunt Margaret,
will consent, I will go whenever you choose. Of course I must
do just as I'm told."
Aunt Emmeline made a faint demur to this; but still the matter
was held to be arranged. Letters were written to Sir Thomas,
and letters came, and at last even Sir Thomas had assented. He
suggested, in the first place, that all the facts which would
follow the exchange should be explained to Ayala; but he was
obliged after a while to acknowledge that this would be inexpedient.
The girl was willing; and knew no doubt that she was to give
up the great wealth of her present home. But she had proved herself
to be an unfit participator, and it was better that she should
go.
Then the departure of them all from Rome was hurried on by the
indiscretion of Gertrude. Gertrude declared that she had a right
to her lover. As to his having no income, what matter for that.
Everyone knew that Septimus Traffick had no income. Papa had
income enough for them all. Mr Houston was a gentleman. Till
this moment no one had known of how strong a will of her own
Gertrude was possessed. When Gertrude declared that she would
not consent to be separated from Mr Houston then they were all
hurried home.
Such was the state of things when Mr Dosett brought the three
letters home with him to Kingsbury Crescent, having been so much
disturbed by the contents of the two which were addressed to
himself as to have found himself compelled to leave his office
two hours before the proper time. The three letters were handed
together by her uncle to Lucy, and she, seeing the importance
of the occasion, read the two open ones before she broke the
envelope of her own. That from Sir Thomas came first, and was
as follows --
Lombard Street, January, 187 --
MY DEAR DOSETT,
I have had a correspondence with the ladies at Rome which has
been painful in its nature, but which I had better perhaps communicate
to you at once. Ayala has not got on as well with Lady Tringle
and the girls as might have been wished, and they all think it
will be better that she and Lucy should change places. I chiefly
write to give my assent. Your sister will no doubt write to you.
I may as well mention to you, should you consent to take charge
of Ayala, that I have made some provision for her in my will,
and that I shall not change it. I have to add on my own account
that I have no complaint of my own to make against Ayala.
Yours sincerely,
T. TRINGLE
Lucy, when she had read this, proceeded at once to the letter
from her aunt. The matter to her was one of terrible importance,
but the importance was quite as great to Ayala. She had been
allowed to go up alone into her own room. The letters were of
such a nature that she could hardly have read them calmly in
the presence of her Aunt Dosett. It was thus that her Aunt Emmeline
had written --
Palazzo Ruperti, Rome, Thursday
MY DEAR REGINALD,
I am sure you will be sorry to hear that we are in great trouble
here. This has become so bad that we are obliged to apply to
you to help us. Now you must understand that I do not mean to
say a word against dear Ayala -- only she does not suit. It will
occur sometimes that people who are most attached to each other
do not suit. So it has been with dear Ayala. She is not happy
with us. She has not perhaps accommodated herself to her cousins
quite as carefully as she might have done. She is fully as sensible
of this as I am, and is, herself, persuaded that there had better
be a change.
Now, my dear Reginald, I am quite aware that when poor Egbert
died it was I who chose Ayala, and that you took Lucy partly
in compliance with my wishes. Now I write to suggest that there
should be a change. I am sure you will give me credit for a desire
to do the best I can for both the poor dear girls. I did think
that this might be best done by letting Ayala come to us. I now
think that Lucy would do better with her cousins, and that Ayala
would be more attractive without the young people around her.
When I see you I will tell you everything. There has been no
great fault. She has spoken a word or two to me which had been
better unsaid, but I am well convinced that it has come from
hot temper and not from a bad heart. Perhaps I had better tell
you the truth. Tom has admired her. She has behaved very well;
but she could not bear to be spoken to, and so there have been
unpleasantnesses. And the girls certainly have not got on well
together. Sir Thomas quite agrees with me that if you will consent
there had better be a change.
I will not write to dear Lucy herself because you and Margaret
can explain it all so much better -- if you will consent to our
plan. Ayala also will write to her sister. But pray tell her
from me that I will love her very dearly if she will come to
me. And indeed I have loved Ayala almost as though she were my
own, only we have not been quite able to hit it off together.
Of course neither has Sir Thomas nor have I any idea of escaping
from a responsibility. I should be quite unhappy if I did not
have one of poor dear Egbert's girls with me. Only I do think
that Lucy would be the best for us; and Ayala thinks so too.
I should be quite unhappy if I were doing this in opposition
to Ayala.
We shall be in England almost as soon as this letter, and I should
be so glad if this could be decided at once. If a thing like
this is to be done it is so much better for all parties that
it should be done quickly. Pray give my best love to Margaret,
and tell her that Ayala shall bring everything with her that
she wants.
Your most affectionate sister,
EMMELINE TRINGLE
The letter, though it was much longer than her uncle's, going
into details, such as that of Tom's unfortunate passion for his
cousin, had less effect upon Lucy, as it did not speak with so
much authority as that from Sir Thomas. What Sir Thomas said
would surely be done; whereas Aunt Emmeline was only a woman,
and her letter, unsupported, might not have carried conviction.
But, if Sir Thomas wished it, surely it must be done. Then, at
last, came Ayala's letter --
Rome, Thursday
DEAREST, DEAREST LUCY,
Oh, I have such things to write to you! Aunt Emmeline has told
it all to Uncle Reginald. You are to come and be the princess,
and I am to go and be the milkmaid at home. I am quite content
that it should be so because I know that it will be the best.
You ought to be a princess and I ought to be a milkmaid.
It has been coming almost ever since the first day that I came
among them -- since I told Augusta to go upstairs for the scrap-book.
I felt from the very moment in which the words were uttered that
I had gone and done for myself. But I am not a bit sorry, as
you will come in my place. Augusta will very soon be gone now,
and Aunt Emmeline is not bad at all if you will only not contradict
her. I always contradicted her, and I know that I have been a
fool. But I am not a bit sorry, as you are to come instead of
me.
But it is not only about Augusta and Aunt Emmeline. There has
been that oaf Tom. Poor Tom! I do believe that he is the most
good-natured fellow alive. And if he had not so many chains I
should not dislike him so very much. But he will go on saying
horrible things to me. And then he wrote me a letter! Oh dear!
I took the letter to Aunt Emmeline, and that made the quarrel.
She said that I had -- encouraged him! Oh, Lucy, if you will
think of that! I was so angry that I said ever so much to her
-- till she sent me out of the room. She had no business to say
that I encouraged him. It was shameful! But she has never forgiven
me, because I scolded her. So they have decided among them that
I am to be sent away, and that you are to come in my place.
My own darling Lucy, it will be ever so much better. I know that
you are not happy in Kingsbury Crescent, and that I shall bear
it very much better. I can sit still and mend sheets. [Poor Ayala,
how little she knew herself!] And you will make a beautiful grand
lady, quiescent and dignified as a grand lady ought to be. At
any rate it would be impossible that I should remain here. Tom
is bad enough, but to be told that I encourage him is more than
I can bear.
I shall see you very soon, but I cannot help writing and telling
it to you all. Give my love to Aunt Dosett. If she will consent
to receive me I will endeavour to be good to her. In the meantime
goodbye.
Your most affectionate sister,
AYALA
When Lucy had completed the reading of the letters she sat for
a considerable time wrapped in thought. There was, in truth,
very much that required thinking. It was proposed that the whole
tenor of her life should be changed, and changed in a direction
which would certainly suit her taste. She had acknowledged to
herself that she had hated the comparative poverty of her Uncle
Dosett's life, hating herself in that she was compelled to make
such acknowledgment. But there had been more than the poverty
which had been distasteful to her -- a something which she had
been able to tell herself that she might be justified in hating
without shame. There had been to her an absence of intellectual
charm in the habits and manners of Kingsbury Crescent which she
had regarded as unfortunate and depressing. There had been no
thought of art delights. No one read poetry. No one heard music.
No one looked at pictures. A sheet to be darned was the one thing
of greatest importance. The due development of a leg of mutton,
the stretching of a pound of butter, the best way of repressing
the washerwoman's bills -- these had been the matters of interest.
And they had not been made the less irritating to her by her
aunt's extreme goodness in the matter. The leg of mutton was
to be developed in the absence of her uncle -- if possible without
his knowledge. He was to have his run of clean linen. Lucy did
not grudge him anything, but was sickened by that partnership
in economy which was established between her and her aunt. Undoubtedly
from time to time she had thought of the luxuries which had been
thrown in Ayala's way. There had been a regret -- not that Ayala
should have them but that she should have missed them. Money
she declared that she despised -- but the easy luxury of the
bijou was sweet to her memory.
Now it was suggested to her suddenly that she was to exchange
the poverty for the luxury, and to return to a mode of life in
which her mind might be devoted to things of beauty. The very
scenery of Glenbogie -- what a charm it would have for her! Judging
from her uncle's manner, as well as she could during that moment
in which he handed to her the letter, she imagined that he intended
to make no great objection. Her aunt disliked her. She was sure
that her aunt disliked her in spite of the partnership. Only
that there was one other view of the case -- how happy might
the transfer be. Her uncle was always gentle to her, but there
could hardly as yet have grown up any strong affection for her.
To him she was grateful, but she could not tell herself that
to part from him would be a pang. There was, however, another
view of the case.
Ayala! How would it be with Ayala! Would Ayala like the partnership
and the economies? Would Ayala be cheerful as she sat opposite
to her aunt for four hours at a time! Ayala had said that she
could sit still and mend sheets, but was it not manifest enough
that Ayala knew nothing of the life of which she was speaking?
And would she, Lucy, be able to enjoy the glories of Glenbogie
while she thought that Ayala was eating out her heart in the
sad companionship of Kingsbury Crescent? For above an hour she
sat and thought; but of one aspect which the affair bore she
did not think. She did not reflect that she and Ayala were in
the hands of Fate, and that they must both do as their elders
should require of them.
At last there came a knock at the door, and her aunt entered.
She would sooner that it should have been her uncle: but there
was no choice but that the matter should be now discussed with
the woman whom she did not love -- this matter that was so dreadful
to herself in all its bearings, and so dreadful to one for whom
she would willingly sacrifice herself if it were possible! She
did not know what she could say to create sympathy with Aunt
Dosett. "Lucy," said Aunt Dosett, "this is a very serious proposal."
"Very serious," said Lucy, sternly.
"I have not read the letters, but your uncle has told me about
it." Then Lucy handed her the two letters, keeping that from
Ayala to herself, and she sat perfectly still while her aunt
read them both slowly. "Your Aunt Emmeline is certainly in earnest,"
said Mrs Dosett.
"Aunt Emmeline is very good-natured, and perhaps she will change
her mind if we tell her that we wish it."
"But Sir Thomas has agreed to it."
"I am sure my uncle will give way if Aunt Emmeline will ask him.
He says he has no complaint to make against Ayala. I think it
is Augusta, and Augusta will be married, and will go away very
soon."
Then there came a change, a visible change, over the countenance
of Aunt Dosett, and a softening of the voice -- so that she looked
and spoke as Lucy had not seen or heard her before. There are
people apparently so hard, so ungenial, so unsympathetic, that
they who only half know them expect no trait of tenderness, think
that features so little alluring cannot be compatible with softness.
Lucy had acknowledged her Aunt Dosett to be good, but believed
her to be incapable of being touched. But a word or two had now
conquered her. The girl did not want to leave her -- did not
seize the first opportunity of running from her poverty to the
splendour of the Tringles! "But, Lucy," she said, and came and
placed herself nearer to Lucy on the bed.
"Ayala -- ," said Lucy, sobbing.
"I will be kind to her -- perhaps kinder than I have been to
you."
"You have been kind, and I have been ungrateful. I know it. But
I will do better now, Aunt Dosett. I will stay, if you will have
me."
"They are rich and powerful, and you will have to do as they
direct."
"No! Who are they that I should be made to come and go at their
bidding? They cannot make me leave you."
"But they can rid themselves of Ayala. You see what your uncle
says about money for Ayala."
"I hate money."
"Money is a thing which none of us can afford to hate. Do you
think it will not be much to your Uncle Reginald to know that
you are both provided for? Already he is wretched because there
will be nothing to come to you. If you go to your Aunt Emmeline,
Sir Thomas will do for you as he has done for Ayala. Dear Lucy,
it is not that I want to send you away." Then for the first time
Lucy put her arm round her aunt's neck. "But it had better be
as is proposed, if your aunt still wishes it, when she comes
home. I and your Uncle Reginald would not do right were we to
allow you to throw away the prospects that are offered you. It
is natural that Lady Tringle should be anxious about her son."
"She need not, in the least," said Lucy, indignantly.
"But you see what they say."
"It is his fault, not hers. Why should she be punished?"
"Because he is Fortune's favourite, and she is not. It is no
good kicking against the pricks, my dear. He is his father's
son and heir, and everything must give way to him."
"But Ayala does not want him. Ayala despises him. It is too hard
that she is to lose everything because a young man like that
will go on making himself disagreeable. They have no right to
do it after having accustomed Ayala to such a home. Don't you
feel that, Aunt Dosett?"
"I do feel it."
"However it might have been arranged at first, it ought to remain
now. Even though Ayala and I are only girls, we ought not to
be changed about as though we were horses. If she had done anything
wrong -- but Uncle Tom says she has done nothing wrong."
"I suppose she has spoken to her aunt disrespectfully."
"Because her aunt told her that she had encouraged this man.
What would you have a girl say when she is falsely accused like
that? Would you say it to me merely because some horrid man would
come and speak to me?" Then there came a slight pang of conscience
as she remembered Isadore Hamel in Kensington Gardens. If the
men were not thought to be horrid, then perhaps the speaking
might be a sin worthy of most severe accusation.
There was nothing more said about it that night, nor till the
following afternoon, when Mr Dosett returned home at the usual
hour from his office. Then Lucy was closeted with him for a quarter
of an hour in the drawing-room. He had been into the City and
seen Sir Thomas. Sir Thomas had been of opinion that it would
be much better that Lady Tringle's wishes should be obeyed. It
was quite true that he himself had no complaint to make against
Ayala, but he did think that Ayala had been pert; and, though
it might be true that Ayala had not encouraged Tom, there was
no knowing what might grow out of such a propensity on Tom's
part. And then it could not be pleasant to Lady Tringle or to
himself that their son should be banished out of their house.
When something was hinted as to the injustice of this, Sir Thomas
endeavoured to put all that right by declaring that, if Lady
Tringle's wishes could be attended to in this matter, provision
would be made for the two girls. He certainly would not strike
Ayala's name out of his will, and as certainly would not take
Lucy under his wing as his own child without making some provision
for her. Looking at the matter in this light he did not think
that Mr Dosett would be justified in robbing Lucy of the advantages
which were offered to her. With this view Mr Dosett found himself
compelled to agree, and with these arguments he declared to Lucy
that it was her duty to submit herself to the proposed exchange.
Early in February all the Tringle family were in Queen's Gate,
and Lucy on her first visit to the house found that everyone,
including Ayala, looked upon the thing as settled. Ayala, who
under these circumstances was living on affectionate terms with
all the Tringles, except Tom, was quite radiant. "I suppose I
had better go tomorrow, aunt?" she said, as though it were a
matter of most trivial consequence.
"In a day or two, Ayala, it will be better."
"It shall be Monday, then. You must come over here in a cab,
Lucy."
"The carriage shall be sent, my dear."
"But then it must go back with me, Aunt Emmeline."
"It shall, my dear."
"And the horses must be put up, because Lucy and I must change
all our things in the drawers." Lucy at the time was sitting
in the drawing-room, and Augusta, with most affectionate confidence,
was singing to her all the praises of Mr Traffick. In this way
it was settled, and the change, so greatly affecting the fortunes
of our two sisters, was arranged.
Till the last moment for going Ayala seemed to be childish, triumphant,
and indifferent. But, till that last moment, she was never alone
with Lucy. It was the presence of her aunt and cousins which
sustained her in her hardihood. Tom was never there -- or so
rarely as not to affect her greatly. In London he had his own
lodgings, and was not encouraged to appear frequently till Ayala
should have gone. But Aunt Emmeline and Gertrude were perseveringly
gracious, and even Augusta had somewhat relaxed from her wrath.
With them Ayala was always good-humoured, but always brave. She
affected to rejoice at the change which was to be made. She spoke
of Lucy's coming and of her own going as an unmixed blessing.
This she did so effectually as to make Aunt Emmeline declare
to Sir Thomas, with tears in her eyes, that the girl was heartless.
But when, at the moment of parting, the two girls were together,
then Ayala broke down.
They were in the room, together, which one had occupied and the
other was to occupy, and their boxes were still upon the floor.
Though less than six months had passed since Ayala had come among
the rich things and Lucy had been among the poor, Ayala's belongings
had become much more important than her sister's. Though the
Tringles had been unpleasant they had been generous. Lucy was
sitting upon the bed, while Ayala was now moving about the room
restlessly, now clinging to her sister, and now sobbing almost
in despair. "Of course I know," she said. "What is the use of
telling stories about it any longer?"
"It is not too late yet, Ayala. If we both go to Uncle Tom he
will let us change it."
"Why should it be changed? If I could change it by lifting up
my little finger I could not do it. Why should it not be you
as well as me? They have tried me, and -- as Aunt Emmeline says
-- I have not suited."
"Aunt Dosett is not ill-natured, my darling."
"No, I dare say not. It is I that am bad. It is bad to like pretty
things and money, and to hate poor things. Or, rather, I do not
believe it is bad at all, because it is so natural. I believe
it is all a lie as to its being wicked to love riches. I love
them, whether it is wicked or not."
"Oh, Ayala!"
"Do not you? Don't let us be hypocritical, Lucy, now at the last
moment. Did you like the way in which they lived in Kingsbury
Crescent?"
Lucy paused before she answered. "I like it better than I did,"
she said. "At any rate, I would willingly go back to Kingsbury
Crescent."
"Yes -- for my sake."
"Indeed I would, my pet."
"And for your sake I would rather die than stay. But what is
the good of talking about it, Lucy? You and I have no voice in
it, though it is all about ourselves. As you say, we are like
two tame birds, who have to be moved from one cage into another
just as the owner pleases. We belong either to Uncle Tom or Uncle
Dosett, just as they like to settle it. Oh, Lucy, I do so wish
that I were dead."
"Ayala, that is wicked."
"How can I help it, if I am wicked? What am I to do when I get
there? What am I to say to them? How am I to live? Lucy, we shall
never see each other."
"I will come across to you constantly."
"I meant to do so, but I didn't. They are two worlds, miles asunder.
Lucy, will they let Isadore Hamel come here?" Lucy blushed and
hesitated. "I am sure he will come."
Lucy remembered that she had given her friend her address at
Queen's Gate, and felt that she would seem to have done it as
though she had known that she was about to be transferred to
the other uncle's house. "It will make no difference if he does,"
she said.
"Oh, I have such a dream -- such a castle in the air! If I could
think it might ever be so, then I should not want to die."
"What do you dream?" But Lucy, though she asked the question,
knew the dream.
"If you had a little house of your own, oh, ever so tiny; and
if you and he -- ?"
"There is no he."
"There might be. And, if you and he would let me have any corner
for myself, then I should be happy. Then I would not want to
die. You would, wouldn't you?"
"How can I talk about it, Ayala? There isn't such a thing. But
yet -- but yet; oh, Ayala, do you not know that to have you with
me would be better than anything?"
"No -- not better than anything -- second best. He would be best.
I do so hope that he may be 'he'. Come in." There was a knock
at the door, and Aunt Emmeline, herself, entered the room.
"Now, my dears, the horses are standing there, and the men are
coming up for the luggage. Ayala, I hope we shall see you very
often. And remember that, as regards anything that is unpleasant,
bygones shall be bygones." Then there was a crowd of farewell
kisses, and in a few minutes Ayala was alone in the carriage
on her road up to Kingsbury Crescent.
The thing had been done so quickly that hitherto there had hardly
been time for tears. To Ayala herself the most remarkable matter
in the whole affair had been Tom's persistence. He had, at last,
been allowed to bring them home from Rome, there having been
no other gentleman whose services were available for the occasion.
He had been watched on the journey very closely, and had had
no slant in his favour, as the young lady to whom he was devoted
was quite as anxious to keep out of his way as had been the others
of the party to separate them. But he had made occasion, more
than once, sufficient to express his intention. "I don't mean
to give you up, you know," he had said to her. "When I say a
thing I mean it. I am not going to be put off by my mother. And
as for the governor he would not say a word against it if he
thought we were both in earnest."
"But I ain't in earnest," said Ayala; "or rather, I am very much
in earnest."
"So am I. That's all I've got to say just at present." From this
there grew up within her mind a certain respect for the "lout",
which, however, made him more disagreeable to her than he might
have been had he been less persistent.
It was late in the afternoon, not much before dinner, when Ayala
reached the house in Kingsbury Crescent. Hitherto she had known
almost nothing of her Aunt Dosett, and had never been intimate
even with her uncle. They, of course, had heard much of her,
and had been led to suppose that she was much less tractable
than the simple Lucy. This feeling had been so strong that Mr
Dosett himself would hardly have been led to sanction the change
had it not been for that promise from Sir Thomas that he would
not withdraw the provision he had made for Ayala, and would do
as much for Lucy if Lucy should become an inmate of his family.
Mrs Dosett had certainly been glad to welcome any change, when
a change was proposed to her. There had grown up something of
affection at the last moment, but up to that time she had certainly
disliked her niece. Lucy had appeared to her to be at first idle
and then sullen. The girl had seemed to affect a higher nature
than her own, and had been wilfully indifferent to the little
things which had given to her life whatever interest it possessed.
Lucy's silence had been a reproach to her, though she herself
had been able to do so little to abolish the silence. Perhaps
Ayala might be better.
But they were both afraid of Ayala -- as they had not been afraid
of Lucy before her arrival. They made more of preparation for
her in their own minds, and, as to their own conduct, Mr Dosett
was there himself to receive her, and was conscious in doing
so that there had been something of failure in their intercourse
with Lucy. Lucy had been allowed to come in without preparation,
with an expectation that she would fall easily into her place,
and there had been failure. There had been no regular consultation
as to this new coming, but both Mr and Mrs Dosett were conscious
of an intended effort.
Lady Tringle and Mr Dosett had always been Aunt Emmeline and
Uncle Reginald, by reason of the nearness of their relationship.
Circumstances of closer intercourse had caused Sir Thomas to
be Uncle Tom. But Mrs Dosett had never become more than Aunt
Dosett to either of the girls. This in itself had been matter
almost of soreness to her, and she had intended to ask Lucy to
adopt the more endearing form of her Christian name; but there
had been so little endearment between them that the moment for
doing so had never come. She was thinking of all this up in her
own room, preparatory to the reception of this other girl, while
Mr Dosett was bidding her welcome to Kingsbury Crescent in the
drawing-room below.
Ayala had been dissolved in tears during the drive round by Kensington
to Bayswater, and was hardly able to repress her sobs as she
entered the house. "My dear," said the uncle, "we will do all
that we can to make you happy here."
"I am sure you will; but -- but -- it is so sad coming away from
Lucy."
"Lucy I am sure will be happy with her cousins." If Lucy's happiness
were made to depend on her cousins, thought Ayala, it would not
be well assured. "And my sister Emmeline is always good-natured."
"Aunt Emmeline is very good, only -- "
"Only what?"
"I don't know. But it is such a sudden change, Uncle Reginald."
"Yes, it is a very great change, my dear. They are very rich
and we are poor enough. I should hardly have consented to this,
for your sake, but that there are reasons which will make it
better for you both."
"As to that," said Ayala, stoutly, "I had to come away. I didn't
suit."
"You shall suit us, my dear."
"I hope so. I will try. I know more now than I did then. I thought
I was to be Augusta's equal."
"We shall all be equal here."
"People ought to be equal, I think -- except old people and young
people. I will do whatever you and my aunt tell me. There are
no young people here, so there won't be any trouble of that kind."
"There will be no other young person, certainly. You shall go
upstairs now and see your aunt."
Then there was the interview upstairs, which consisted chiefly
in promises and kisses, and Ayala was left alone to unpack her
boxes and prepare for dinner. Before she began her operations
she sat still for a few moments, and with an effort collected
her energies and made her resolution. She had said to Lucy in
her passion that she would that she were dead. That that should
have been wicked was not matter of much concern to her. But she
acknowledged to herself that it had been weak and foolish. There
was her life before her, and she would still endeavour to be
happy though there had been so much to distress her. She had
flung away wealth. She was determined to fling it away still
when it should present itself to her in the shape of her cousin
Tom. But she had her dreams -- her day-dreams -- those castles
in the air which it had been the delight of her life to construct,
and in the building of which her hours had never run heavy with
her. Isadore Hamel would, of course, come again, and would, of
course, marry Lucy, and then there would be a home for her after
her own heart. With Isadore as her brother, and her own Lucy
close to her, she would not feel the want of riches and of luxury.
If there were only some intellectual charm in her life, some
touch of art, some devotion to things beautiful, then she could
do without gold and silver and costly raiment. Of course, Isadore
would come; and then -- then -- in the far distance, something
else would come, something of which in her castle-building she
had not yet developed the form, of which she did not yet know
the bearing, or the manner of its beauty, or the music of its
voice; but as to which she was very sure that its form would
be beautiful and its voice full of music. It can hardly be said
that this something was the centre of her dreams, or the foundation
of her castles. It was the extreme point of perfection at which
she would arrive at last, when her thoughts had become sublimated
by the intensity of her thinking. It was the tower of the castle
from which she could look down upon the inferior world below
-- the last point of the dream in arranging which she would all
but escape from earth to heaven -- when in the moment of her
escape the cruel waking back into the world would come upon her.
But this she knew -- that this something, whatever might be its
form or whatever its voice, would be exactly the opposite of
Tom Tringle.
She had fallen away from her resolution to her dreams for a time,
when suddenly she jumped up and began her work with immense energy.
Open went one box after another, and in five minutes the room
was strewed with her possessions. The modest set of drawers which
was to supply all her wants was filled with immediate haste.
Things were deposited in whatever nooks might be found, and every
corner was utilised. Her character for tidiness had never stood
high. At the bijou Lucy, or her mother, or the favourite maid,
had always been at hand to make good her deficiencies with a
reproach which had never gone beyond a smile or a kiss. At Glenbogie
and even on the journey there had been attendant lady's maids.
But here she was all alone.
Everything was still in confusion when she was called to dinner.
As she went down she recalled to herself her second resolution.
She would be good -- whereby she intimated to herself that she
would endeavour to do what might be pleasing to her Aunt Dosett.
She had little doubt as to her uncle. But she was aware that
there had been differences between her aunt and Lucy. If Lucy
had found it difficult to be good how great would be the struggle
required from her!
She sat herself down at table a little nearer to her aunt than
her uncle, because it was specially her aunt whom she wished
to win, and after a few minutes she put out her little soft hand
and touched that of Mrs Dosett. "My dear," said that lady. "I
hope you will be happy."
"I am determined to be happy," said Ayala, "if you will let me
love you."
Mrs Dosett was not beautiful, nor was she romantic. In appearance
she was the very reverse of Ayala. The cares of the world, the
looking after shillings and their results, had given her that
look of commonplace insignificance which is so frequent and so
unattractive among middle-aged women upon whom the world leans
heavily. But there was a tender corner in her heart which was
still green, and from which a little rill of sweet water could
be made to flow when it was touched aright. On this occasion
a tear came to her eye as she pressed her niece's hand; but she
said nothing. She was sure, however, that she would love Ayala
much better than she had been able to love Lucy.
"What would you like me to do?" asked Ayala, when her aunt accompanied
her that night to her bedroom.
"To do, my dear? What do you generally do?"
"Nothing. I read a little and draw a little, but I do nothing
useful. I mean it to be different now."
"You shall do as you please, Ayala."
"Oh, but I mean it. And you must tell me. Of course things have
to be different."
"We are not rich like your uncle and aunt Tringle."
"Perhaps it is better not to be rich, so that one may have something
to do. But I want you to tell me as though you really cared for
me."
"I will care for you," said Aunt Dosett, sobbing.
"Then first begin by telling me what to do. I will try and do
it. Of course I have thought about it, coming away from all manner
of rich things; and I have determined that it shall not make
me unhappy. I will rise above it. I will begin tomorrow and do
anything if you will tell me." Then Aunt Dosett took her in her
arms and kissed her, and declared that on the morrow they would
begin their work together in perfect confidence and love with
each other.
"I think she will do better than Lucy," said Mrs Dosett to her
husband that night.
"Lucy was a dear girl too," said Uncle Reginald.
"Oh, yes -- quite so. I don't mean to say a word against Lucy;
but I think that I can do better with Ayala. She will be more
diligent." Uncle Reginald said nothing to this, but he could
not but think that of the two Lucy would be the one most likely
to devote herself to hard work.
On the next morning Ayala went out with her aunt on the round
to the shopkeepers, and listened with profound attention to the
domestic instructions which were given to her on the occasion.
When she came home she knew much of which she had known nothing
before. What was the price of mutton and how much mutton she
was expected as one of the family to eat per week; what were
the necessities of the house in bread and butter, how far a pint
of milk might be stretched -- with a proper understanding that
her Uncle Reginald as head of the family was to be subjected
to no limits. And before their return from that walk -- on the
first morning of Ayala's sojourn -- Ayala had undertaken always
to call Mrs Dosett Aunt Margaret for the future.
During the next three months, up to the end of the winter and
through the early spring, things went on without any change either
in Queen's Gate or Kingsbury Crescent. The sisters saw each other
occasionally, but not as frequently as either of them had intended.
Lucy was not encouraged in the use of cabs, nor was the carriage
lent to her often for the purpose of going to the Crescent. The
reader may remember that she had been in the habit of walking
alone in Kensington Gardens, and a walk across Kensington Gardens
would carry her the greater part of the distance to Kingsbury
Crescent. But Lucy, in her new circumstances, was not advised
-- perhaps, I may say, was not allowed -- to walk alone. Lady
Tringle, being a lady of rank and wealth, was afraid, or pretended
to be afraid, of the lions. Poor Ayala was really afraid of the
lions. Thus it came to pass that the intercourse was not frequent.
In her daily life Lucy was quiet and obedient. She did not run
counter to Augusta, whose approaching nuptials gave her that
predominance in the house which is always accorded to young ladies
in her recognised position. Gertrude was at this time a subject
of trouble at Queen's Gate. Sir Thomas had not been got to approve
of Mr Frank Houston, and Gertrude had positively refused to give
him up. Sir Thomas was, indeed, considerably troubled by his
children. There had been a period of disagreeable obstinacy even
with Augusta before Mr Traffick had been taken into the bosom
of the family. Now Gertrude had her own ideas, and so also had
Tom. Tom had become quite a trouble. Sir Thomas and Lady Tringle,
together, had determined that Tom must be weaned; by which they
meant that he must be cured of his love. But Tom had altogether
refused to be weaned. Mr Dosett had been requested to deny him
admittance to the house in Kingsbury Crescent, and as this request
had been fully endorsed by Ayala herself orders had been given
to the effect to the parlour-maid. Tom had called more than once,
and had been unable to obtain access to his beloved. But yet
he resolutely refused to be weaned. He told his father to his
face that he intended to marry Ayala, and abused his mother roundly
when she attempted to interfere. The whole family was astounded
by his perseverance, so that there had already sprung up an idea
in the minds of some among the Tringles that he would be successful
at last. Augusta was very firm, declaring that Ayala was a viper.
But Sir Thomas, himself, began to inquire, within his own bosom,
whether Tom should not be allowed to settle down in the manner
desired by himself. In no consultation held at Queen's Gate on
the subject was there the slightest expression of an opinion
that Tom might be denied the opportunity of settling down as
he wished through any unwillingness on the part of Ayala.
When things were in this position, Tom sought an interview one
morning with his father in Lombard Street. They rarely saw each
other at the office, each having his own peculiar branch of business.
Sir Thomas manipulated his millions in a little back room of
his own, while Tom, dealing probably with limited thousands,
made himself useful in an outer room. They never went to, or
left, the office together, but Sir Thomas always took care to
know that his son was or was not on the premises. "I want to
say a word or two, Sir, about -- about the little affair of mine,"
said Tom.
"What affair?" said Sir Thomas, looking up from his millions.
"I think I should like to -- marry."
"The best thing you can do, my boy; only it depends upon who
the young lady may be."
"My mind is made up about that, Sir; I mean to marry my cousin.
I don't see why a young man isn't to choose for himself." Then
Sir Thomas preached his sermon, but preached it in the manner
which men are wont to use when they know that they are preaching
in vain. There is a tone of refusal, which, though the words
used may be manifestly enough words of denial, is in itself indicative
of assent. Sir Thomas ended the conference by taking a week to
think over the matter, and when the week was over gave way. He
was still inclined to think that marriages with cousins had better
be avoided; but he gave way, and at last promised that if Tom
and Ayala were of one mind an income should be forthcoming.
For the carrying out of this purpose it was necessary that the
door of Uncle Dosett's house should be unlocked, and with the
object of turning the key Sir Thomas himself called at the Admiralty.
"I find my boy is quite in earnest about this," he said to the
Admiralty clerk.
"Oh; indeed."
"I can't say I quite like it myself." Mr Dosett could only shake
his head. "Cousins had better be cousins, and nothing more."
"And then you would probably expect him to get money?"
"Not at all," said Sir Thomas, proudly. "I have got money enough
for them both. It isn't an affair of money. To make a long story
short, I have given my consent; and, therefore, if you do not
mind, I shall be glad if you will allow Tom to call at the Crescent.
Of course, you may have your own views; but I don't suppose you
can hope to do better for the girl. Cousins do marry, you know,
very often." Mr Dosett could only say that he could not expect
to do anything for the girl nearly so good, and that, as far
as he was concerned, his nephew Tom should be made quite welcome
at Kingsbury Crescent. It was not, he added, in his power to
answer for Ayala. As to this, Sir Thomas did not seem to have
any doubts. The good things of the world, which it was in his
power to offer, were so good, that it was hardly probable that
a young lady in Ayala's position should refuse them.
"My dear," said Aunt Margaret, the next morning, speaking in
her most suasive tone, "your Cousin Tom is to be allowed to call
here."
"Tom Tringle?"
"Yes, my dear. Sir Thomas has consented."
"Then he had better not," said Ayala, bristling up in hot anger.
"Uncle Tom has got nothing to do with it, either in refusing
or consenting. I won't see him."
"I think you must see him if he calls."
"But I don't want. Oh, Aunt Margaret, pray make him not come.
I don't like him a bit. We are doing so very well. Are we not,
Aunt Margaret?"
"Certainly, my dear, we are doing very well -- at least, I hope
so. But you are old enough now to understand that this is a very
serious matter."
"Of course it is serious," said Ayala, who certainly was not
guilty of the fault of making light of her future life. Those
dreams of hers, in which were contained all her hopes and all
her aspirations, were very serious to her. This was so much the
case that she had by no means thought of her Cousin Tom in a
light spirit, as though he were a matter of no moment to her.
He was to her just what the Beast must have been to the Beauty,
when the Beast first began to be in love. But her safety had
consisted in the fact that no one had approved of the Beast being
in love with her. Now she could understand that all the horrors
of oppression might fall upon her. Of course it was serious;
but not the less was she resolved that nothing should induce
her to marry the Beast.
"I think you ought to see him when he comes, and to remember
how different it will be when he comes with the approval of his
father. It is, of course, saying that they are ready to welcome
you as their daughter."
"I don't want to be anybody's daughter."
"But, Ayala, there are so many things to be thought of. Here
is a young man who is able to give you not only every comfort
but great opulence."
"I don't want to be opulent."
"And be will be a baronet."
"I don't care about baronets, Aunt Margaret."
"And you will have a house of your own in which you may be of
service to your sister."
"I had rather she should have a house."
"But Tom is not in love with Lucy."
"He is such a lout! Aunt Margaret, I won't have anything to say
to him. I would a great deal sooner die. Uncle Tom has no right
to send him here. They have got rid of me, and I am very glad
of it; but it isn't fair that he should come after me now that
I'm gone away. Couldn't Uncle Reginald tell him to stay away?"
A great deal more was said, but nothing that was said had the
slightest effect on Ayala. When she was told of her dependent
position, and of the splendour of the prospects offered, she
declared that she would rather go into the poorhouse than marry
her cousin. When she was told that Tom was good-natured, honest,
and true, she declared that good-nature, honesty, and truth had
nothing to do with it. When she was asked what it was that she
looked forward to in the world she could merely sob and say that
there was nothing. She could not tell even her sister Lucy of
those dreams and castles. How, then, could she explain them to
her Aunt Margaret? How could she make her aunt understand that
there could be no place in her heart for Tom Tringle seeing that
it was to be kept in reserve for some Angel of Light who would
surely make his appearance in due season -- but who must still
be there, present to her as her Angel of Light, even should he
never show himself in the flesh. How vain it was to talk of Tom
Tringle to her, when she had so visible before her eyes that
Angel of Light with whom she was compelled to compare him!
But, though she could not be brought to say that she would listen
patiently to his story, she was nevertheless made to understand
that she must see him when he came to her. Aunt Margaret was
very full on that subject. A young man who was approved of by
the young lady's friends, and who had means at command, was,
in Mrs Dosett's opinion, entitled to a hearing. How otherwise
were properly authorised marriages to be made up and arranged?
When this was going on there was in some slight degree a diminished
sympathy between Ayala and her aunt. Ayala still continued her
household duties -- over which, in the privacy of her own room,
she groaned sadly; but she continued them in silence. Her aunt,
upon whom she had counted, was, she thought, turning against
her. Mrs Dosett, on the other hand, declared to herself that
the girl was romantic and silly. Husbands with every immediate
comfort, and a prospect of almost unlimited wealth, are not to
be found under every hedge. What right could a girl so dependent
as Ayala have to refuse an eligible match? She therefore in this
way became an advocate on behalf of Tom -- as did also Uncle
Reginald, more mildly. Uncle Reginald merely remarked that Tom
was attending to his business, which was a great thing in a young
man. It was not much, but it showed Ayala that in this matter
her uncle was her enemy. In this, her terrible crisis, she had
not a friend, unless it might be Lucy.
Then a day was fixed on which Tom was to come, which made the
matter more terrible by anticipation. "What can be the good?"
Ayala said to her aunt when the hour named for the interview
was told her, "as I can tell him everything just as well without
his coming at all." But all that had been settled. Aunt Margaret
had repeated over and over again that such an excellent young
man as Tom, with such admirable intentions, was entitled to a
hearing from any young lady. In reply to this Ayala simply made
a grimace, which was intended to signify the utter contempt in
which she held her cousin Tom with all his wealth.
Tom Tringle, in spite of his rings and a certain dash of vulgarity,
which was, perhaps, not altogether his own fault, was not a bad
fellow. Having taken it into his heart that he was very much
in love he was very much in love. He pictured to himself a happiness
of a wholesome cleanly kind. To have the girl as his own, to
caress her and foster her, and expend himself in making her happy;
to exalt her, so as to have it acknowledged that she was, at
any rate, as important as Augusta; to learn something from her,
so that he, too, might become romantic, and in some degree poetical
-- all this had come home to him in a not ignoble manner. But
it had not come home to him that Ayala might probably refuse
him. Hitherto Ayala had been very persistent in her refusals;
but then hitherto there had existed the opposition of all the
family. Now he had overcome that, and he felt therefore that
he was entitled to ask and to receive. On the day fixed, and
at the hour fixed, he came in the plenitude of all his rings.
Poor Tom! It was a pity that he should have had no one to advise
him as to his apparel. Ayala hated his jewelry. She was not quite
distinct in her mind as to the raiment which would be worn by
the Angel of Light when he should come, but she was sure that
he would not be chiefly conspicuous for heavy gilding; and Tom,
moreover, had a waistcoat which would of itself have been suicidal.
Such as he was, however, he was shown up into the drawing-room,
where he found Ayala alone. It was certainly a misfortune to
him that no preliminary conversation was possible. Ayala had
been instructed to be there with the express object of listening
to an offer of marriage. The work had to be done -- and should
be done; but it would not admit of other ordinary courtesies.
She was very angry with him, and she looked her anger. Why should
she be subjected to this terrible annoyance? He had sense enough
to perceive that there was no place for preliminary courtesy,
and therefore rushed away at once to the matter in hand. "Ayala!"
he exclaimed, coming and standing before her as she sat upon
the sofa.
"Tom!" she said, looking boldly up into his face.
"Ayala, I love you better than anything else in the world."
"But what's the good of it?"
"Of course it was different when I told you so before. I meant
to stick to it, and I was determined that the governor should
give way. But you couldn't know that. Mother and the girls were
all against us."
"They weren't against me," said Ayala.
"They were against our being married, and so they squeezed you
out as it were. That is why you have been sent to this place.
But they understand me now, and know what I am about. They have
all given their consent, and the governor has promised to be
liberal. When he says a thing he'll do it. There will be lots
of money."
"I don't care a bit about money," said Ayala, fiercely.
"No more do I -- except only that it is comfortable. It wouldn't
do to marry without money -- would it?"
"It would do very well if anybody cared for anybody." The Angel
of Light generally appeared in forma pauperis, though there was
always about him a tinge of bright azure which was hardly compatible
with the draggle-tailed hue of everyday poverty.
"But an income is a good thing, and the governor will come down
like a brick."
"The governor has nothing to do with it. I told you before that
it is all nonsense. If you will only go away and say nothing
about it I shall always think you very good-natured."
"But I won't go away," said Tom speaking out boldly. "I mean
to stick to it. Ayala, I don't believe you understand that I
am thoroughly in earnest."
"Why shouldn't I be in earnest, too?"
"But I love you, Ayala. I have set my heart upon it. You don't
know how well I love you. I have quite made up my mind about
it."
"And I have made up my mind."
"But, Ayala -- " Now the tenor of his face changed, and something
of the look of a despairing lover took the place of that offensive
triumph which had at first sat upon his brow. "I don't suppose
you care for any other fellow yet."
There was the Angel of Light. But even though she might be most
anxious to explain to him that his suit was altogether impracticable
she could say nothing to him about the angel. Though she was
sure that the angel would come, she was not certain that she
would ever give herself altogether even to the angel. The celestial
castle which was ever being built in her imagination was as yet
very much complicated. But had it been ever so clear it would
have been quite impossible to explain anything of this to her
cousin Tom. "That has nothing to do with it," she said.
"If you knew how I love you!" This came from him with a sob,
and as he sobbed he went down before her on his knees.
"Don't be a fool, Tom -- pray don't. If you won't get up I shall
go away. I must go away. I have heard all that there is to hear.
I told them that there is no use in your coming."
"Ayala!" with this there were veritable sobs.
"Then why don't you give it up and let us be good friends?"
"I can't give it up. I won't give it up. When a fellow means
it as I do he never gives it up. Nothing on earth shall make
me give it up. Ayala, you've got to do it, and so I tell you."
"Nobody can make me," said Ayala, nodding her head, but somewhat
tamed by the unexpected passion of the young man.
"Then you won't say one kind word to me?"
"I can't say anything kinder."
"Very well. Then I shall go away and come again constantly till
you do. I mean to have you. When you come to know how very much
I love you I do think you will give way at last." With that he
picked himself up from the ground and hurried out of the house
without saying another word.
The scene described in the last chapter took place in March.
For three days afterwards there was quiescence in Kingsbury Crescent.
Then there came a letter from Tom to Ayala, very pressing, full
of love and resolution, offering to wait any time -- even a month
-- if she wished it, but still persisting in his declared intention
of marrying her sooner or later -- not by any means a bad letter
had there not been about it a little touch of bombast which made
it odious to Ayala's sensitive appreciation. To this Ayala wrote
a reply in the following words:
"When I tell you that I won't, you oughtn't to go on. It isn't
manly.
AYALA
"Pray do not write again for I shall never answer another."
Of this she said nothing to Mrs Dosett, though the arrival of
Tom's letter must have been known to that lady. And she posted
her own epistle without a word as to what she was doing.
She wrote again and again to Lucy imploring her sister to come
to her, urging that as circumstances now were she could not show
herself at the house in Queen's Gate. To these Lucy always replied;
but she did not reply by coming, and hardly made it intelligible
why she did not come. Aunt Emmeline hoped, she said, that Ayala
would very soon be able to be at Queen's Gate. Then there was
a difficulty about the carriage. No one would walk across with
her except Tom; and walking by herself was forbidden. Aunt Emmeline
did not like cabs. Then there came a third or fourth letter,
in which Lucy was more explanatory, but yet not sufficiently
so. During the Easter recess, which would take place in the middle
of April, Augusta and Mr Traffick would be married. The happy
couple were to be blessed with a divided honeymoon. The interval
between Easter and Whitsuntide would require Mr Traffick's presence
in the House, and the bride with her bridegroom were to return
to Queen's Gate. Then they would depart again for the second
holidays, and when they were so gone Aunt Emmeline hoped that
Ayala would come to them for a visit. "They quite understand",
said Lucy, "that it will not do to have you and Augusta together."
This was not at all what Ayala wanted. "It won't at all do to
have me and him together," said Ayala to herself, alluding of
course to Tom Tringle. But why did not Lucy come over to her?
Lucy, who knew so well that her sister did not want to see anyone
of the Tringles, who must have been sure that any visit to Queen's
Gate must have been impossible, ought to have come to her. To
whom else could she say a word in her trouble? It was thus that
Ayala argued with herself, declaring to herself that she must
soon die in her misery -- unless indeed that Angel of Light might
come to her assistance very quickly.
But Lucy had troubles of her own in reference to the family at
Queen's Gate, which did, in fact, make it almost impossible to
visit her sister for some weeks. Sir Thomas had given an unwilling
but a frank consent to his son's marriage -- and then expected
simply to be told that it would take place at such and such a
time, when money would be required. Lady Tringle had given her
consent -- but not quite frankly. She still would fain have forbidden
the banns had any power of forbidding remained in her hands.
Augusta was still hot against the marriage, and still resolute
to prevent it. That proposed journey upstairs after the scrap-book
at Glenbogie, that real journey up to the top of St Peter's,
still rankled in her heart. That Tom should make Ayala a future
baronet's wife; that Tom should endow Ayala with the greatest
share of the Tringle wealth; that Ayala should become powerful
in Queen's Gate, and dominant probably at Merle Park and Glenbogie
-- was wormwood to her. She was conscious that Ayala was pretty
and witty, though she could affect to despise the wit and the
prettiness. By instigating her mother, and by inducing Mr Traffick
to interfere when Mr Traffick should be a member of the family,
she thought that she might prevail. With her mother she did in
part prevail. Her future husband was at present too much engaged
with supply and demand to be able to give his thoughts to Tom's
affairs. But there would soon be a time when he naturally would
be compelled to divide his thoughts. Then there was Gertrude.
Gertrude's own affairs had not as yet been smiled upon, and the
want of smiles she attributed very much to Augusta. Why should
Augusta have her way and not she, Gertrude, nor her brother Tom?
She therefore leagued herself with Tom, and declared herself
quite prepared to receive Ayala into the house. In this way the
family was very much divided.
When Lucy first made her petition for the carriage, expressing
her desire to see Ayala, both her uncle and her aunt were in
the room. Objection was made -- some frivolous objection -- by
Lady Tringle, who did not in truth care to maintain much connection
between Queen's Gate and the Crescent. Then Sir Thomas, in his
burly authoritative way, had said that Ayala had better come
to them. That same evening he had settled or intended to settle
it with his wife. Let Ayala come as soon as the Trafficks --
as they then would be -- should have gone. To this Lady Tringle
had assented, knowing more than her husband as to Ayala's feelings,
and thinking that in this way a breach might be made between
them. Ayala had been a great trouble to her, and she was beginning
to be almost sick of the Dormer connection altogether. It was
thus that Lucy was hindered from seeing her sister for six weeks
after that first formal declaration of his love made by Tom to
Ayala. Tom had still persevered and had forced his way more than
once into Ayala's presence, but Ayala's answers had been always
the same. "It's a great shame, and you have no right to treat
me in this way."
Then came the Traffick marriage with great eclat. There were
no less than four Traffick bridesmaids, all of them no doubt
noble, but none of them very young, and Gertrude and Lucy were
bridesmaids -- and two of Augusta's friends. Ayala, of course,
was not of the party. Tom was gorgeous in his apparel, not in
the least depressed by his numerous repulses, quite confident
of ultimate success, and proud of his position as a lover with
so beautiful a girl. He talked of his affairs to all his friends,
and seemed to think that even on this wedding-day his part was
as conspicuous as that of his sister, because of his affair with
his beautiful cousin. "Augusta doesn't hit it off with her,"
he said to one of his friends, who asked why Ayala was not at
the wedding -- "Augusta is the biggest fool out, you know. She's
proud of her husband because he's the son of a lord. I wouldn't
change Ayala for the daughter of any duchess in Europe;" -- thus
showing that he regarded Ayala as being almost his own already.
Lord Boardotrade was there, making a semi-jocose speech, quite
in the approved way for a cognate paterfamilias. Perhaps there
was something of a thorn in this to Sir Thomas, as it had become
apparent at last that Mr Traffick himself did not purpose to
add anything from his own resources to the income on which he
intended to live with his wife. Lord Boardotrade had been obliged
to do so much for his eldest son that there appeared to be nothing
left for the member for Port Glasgow. Sir Thomas was prepared
with his £120,000, and did not perhaps mind this very much.
But a man, when he pays his money, likes to have some return
for it, and he did not quite like the tone with which the old
nobleman, not possessed of very old standing in the peerage,
seemed to imply that he, like a noble old Providence, had enveloped
the whole Tringle family in the mantle of his noble blood. He
combined the jocose and the paternal in the manner appropriate
to such occasions; but there did run through Sir Thomas's mind
as he heard him an idea that £120,000 was a sufficient sum to
pay, and that it might be necessary to make Mr Traffick understand
that out of the income thenceforth coming he must provide a house
for himself and his wife. It had been already arranged that he
was to return to Queen's Gate with his wife for the period between
Easter and Whitsuntide. It had lately -- quite lately -- been
hinted to Sir Thomas that the married pair would run up again
after the second holidays. Mr Septimus Traffick had once spoken
of Glenbogie as almost all his own, and Augusta had, in her father's
hearing, said a word intended to be very affectionate about "dear
Merle Park". Sir Thomas was a father all over, with all a father's
feelings; but even a father does not like to be done. Mr Traffick,
no doubt, was a Member of Parliament and son of a peer -- but
there might be a question whether even Mr Traffick had not been
purchased at quite his full value.
Nevertheless the marriage was pronounced to have been a success.
Immediately after it -- early, indeed, on the following morning
-- Sir Thomas inquired when Ayala was coming to Queen's Gate.
"Is it necessary that she should come quite at present?" asked
Lady Tringle.
"I thought it was all settled," said Sir Thomas, angrily. This
had been said in the privacy of his own dressing-room, but downstairs
at the breakfast-table in the presence of Gertrude and Lucy,
he returned to the subject. Tom, who did not live in the house,
was not there. "I suppose we might as well have Ayala now," he
said, addressing himself chiefly to Lucy. "Do you go and manage
it with her." There was not a word more said. Sir Thomas did
not always have his own way in his family. What man was ever
happy enough to do that? But he was seldom directly contradicted.
Lady Tringle when the order was given pursed up her lips, and
he, had he been observant, might have known that she did not
intend to have Ayala if she could help it. But he was not observant
-- except as to millions.
When Sir Thomas was gone, Lady Tringle discussed the matter with
Lucy. "Of course, my dear," she said, "if we could make dear
Ayala happy -- "
"I don't think she will come, Aunt Emmeline."
"Not come!" This was not said at all in a voice of anger, but
simply as eliciting some further expression of opinion.
"She's afraid of -- Tom." Lucy had never hitherto expressed a
positive opinion on that matter at Queen's Gate. When Augusta
had spoken of Ayala as having run after Tom, Lucy had been indignant,
and had declared that the running had been all on the other side.
In a side way she had hinted that Ayala, at any rate at present,
was far from favourable to Tom's suit. But she had never yet
spoken out her mind at Queen's Gate as Ayala had spoken it to
her.
"Afraid of him?" said Aunt Emmeline.
"I mean that she is not a bit in love with him, and when a girl
is like that I suppose she is -- is afraid of a man, if everybody
else wants her to marry him."
"Why should everybody want her to marry Tom?" asked Lady Tringle,
indignantly. "I am sure I don't want her."
"I suppose it is Uncle Tom, and Aunt Dosett and Uncle Reginald,"
said poor Lucy, finding that she had made a mistake.
"I don't see why anybody should want her to marry Tom. Tom is
carried away by her baby face, and makes a fool of himself. As
to everybody wanting her, I hope she does not flatter herself
that there is anything of the kind."
"I only meant that I think she would rather not be brought here,
where she would have to see him daily."
After this the loan of the carriage was at last made, and Lucy
was allowed to visit her sister at the Crescent. "Has he been
there?" was almost the first question that Ayala asked.
"What he do you mean?"
"Isadore Hamel."
"No; I have not seen him since I met him in the Park. But I do
not want to talk about Mr Hamel, Ayala. Mr Hamel is nothing."
"Oh, Lucy."
"He is nothing. Had he been anything, he has gone, and there
would be an end to it. But he is nothing."
"If a man is true he may go, but he will come back." Ayala had
her ideas about the Angel of Light very clearly impressed upon
her mind in regard to the conduct of the man, though they were
terribly vague as to his personal appearance, his condition of
life, his appropriateness for marriage, and many other details
of his circumstances. It had also often occurred to her that
this Angel of Light, when he should come, might not be in love
with herself -- and that she might have to die simply because
she had seen him and loved him in vain. But he would be a man
sure to come back if there were fitting reasons that he should
do so. Isadore Hamel was not quite an Angel of Light, but he
was nearly angelic -- at any rate very good, and surely would
come back.
"Never mind about Mr Hamel, Ayala. It is not nice to talk about
a man who has never spoken a word."
"Never spoken a word! Oh, Lucy!"
"Mr Hamel has never spoken a word, and I will not talk about
him. There! All my heart is open to you, Ayala. You know that.
But I will not talk about Mr Hamel. Aunt Emmeline wants you to
come to Queen's Gate."
"I will not."
"Or rather it is Sir Thomas who wants you to come. I do like
Uncle Tom. I do, indeed."
"So do I."
"You ought to come when he asks you."
"Why ought I? That lout would be there -- of course."
"I don't know about his being a lout, Ayala."
"He comes here, and I have to be perfectly brutal to him. You
can't guess the sort of things I say to him, and he doesn't mind
it a bit. He thinks that he has to go on long enough, and that
I must give way at last. If I were to go to Queen's Gate it would
be just as much as to say that I had given way."
"Why not?"
"Lucy!"
"Why not? He is not bad. He is honest, and true, and kind-hearted.
I know you can't be happy here."
"No."
"Aunt Dosett, with all her affairs, must be trouble to you. I
could not bear them patiently. How can you?"
"Because they are better than Tom Tringle. I read somewhere about
there being seven houses of the Devil, each one being lower and
worse than the other. Tom would be the lowest -- the lowest --
the lowest."
"Ayala, my darling."
"Do not tell me that I ought to marry Tom," said Ayala, almost
standing off in anger from the proferred kiss. "Do you think
that I could love him?"
"I think you could if you tried, because he is loveable. It is
so much to be good, and then he loves you truly. After all, it
is something to have everything nice around you. You have not
been made to be poor and uncomfortable. I fear that it must be
bad with you here."
"It is bad."
"I wish I could have stayed, Ayala. I am more tranquil than you,
and could have borne it better."
"It is bad. It is one of the houses -- but not the lowest. I
can eat my heart out here, peaceably, and die with a great needle
in my hand and a towel in my lap. But if I were to marry him
I should kill myself the first hour after I had gone away with
him. Things! What would things be with such a monster as that
leaning over one? Would you marry him?" In answer to this, Lucy
made no immediate reply. "Why don't you say? You want me to marry
him. Would you?"
"No."
"Then why should I?"
"I could not try to love him."
"Try! How can a girl try to love any man? It should come because
she can't help it, let her try ever so. Trying to love Tom Tringle!
Why can't you try?"
"He doesn't want me."
"But if he did? I don't suppose it would make the least difference
to him which it was. Would you try if he asked?"
"No."
"Then why should I? Am I so much a poorer creature than you?"
"You are a finer creature. You know that I think so."
"I don't want to be finer. I want to be the same."
"You are free to do as you please. I am not -- quite."
"That means Isadore Hamel."
"I try to tell you all the truth, Ayala; but pray do not talk
about him even to me. As for you, you are free; and if you could
-- "
"I can't. I don't know that I am free, as you call it." Then
Lucy started, as though about to ask the question which would
naturally follow. "You needn't look like that, Lucy. There isn't
anyone to be named."
"A man not to be named?"
"There isn't a man at all. There isn't anybody. But I may have
my own ideas if I please. If I had an Isadore Hamel of my own
I could compare Tom or Mr Traffick, or any other lout to him,
and could say how infinitely higher in the order of things was
my Isadore than any of them. Though I haven't an Isadore can't
I have an image? And can't I make my image brighter, even higher,
than Isadore? You won't believe that, of course, and I don't
want you to believe it yourself. But you should believe it for
me. My image can make Tom Tringle just as horrible to me as Isadore
Hamel can make him to you." Thus it was that Ayala endeavoured
to explain to her sister something of the castle which she had
built in the air, and of the Angel of Light who inhabited the
castle.
Then it was decided between them that Lucy should explain to
Aunt Emmeline that Ayala could not make a prolonged stay at Queen's
Gate. "But how shall I say it?" asked Lucy.
"Tell her the truth, openly. 'Tom wants to marry Ayala, and Ayala
won't have him. Therefore, of course, she can't come, because
it would look as though she were going to change her mind --
which she isn't.' Aunt Emmeline will understand that, and will
not be a bit sorry. She doesn't want to have me for a daughter-in-law.
She had quite enough of me at Rome."
All this time the carriage was waiting, and Lucy was obliged
to return before half of all that was necessary had been said.
What was to be Ayala's life for the future? How were the sisters
to see each other? What was to be done when, at the end of the
coming summer, Lucy should be taken first to Glenbogie and then
to Merle Park? There is a support in any excitement, though it
be in the excitement of sorrow only. At the present moment Ayala
was kept alive by the necessity of her battle with Tom Tringle,
but how would it be with her when Tom should have given up the
fight? Lucy knew, by sad experience, how great might be the tedium
of life in Kingsbury Crescent, and knew, also, how unfitted Ayala
was to endure it. There seemed to be no prospect of escape in
future. "She knows nothing of what I am suffering", said Ayala,
"when she gives me the things to do, and tells me of more things,
and more, and more! How can there be so many things to be done
in such a house as this?" But as Lucy was endeavouring to explain
how different were the arrangements in Kingsbury Crescent from
those which had prevailed at the bijou, the offended coachman
sent up word to say that he didn't think Sir Thomas would like
it if the horses were kept out in the rain any longer. Then Lucy
hurried down, not having spoken of half the things which were
down in her mind on the list for discussion.
After the Easter holidays the Trafficks came back to Queen's
Gate, making a combination of honeymoon and business which did
very well for a time. It was understood that it was to be so.
During honeymoon times the fashionable married couple is always
lodged and generally boarded for nothing. That opening wide of
generous hands, which exhibits itself in the joyous enthusiasm
of a coming marriage, taking the shape of a houseful of presents,
of a gorgeous and ponderous trousseau, of a splendid marriage
feast, and not unfrequently of subsidiary presents from the opulent
papa -- presents which are subsidiary to the grand substratum
of settled dowry -- generously extends itself to luxurious provision
for a month or two. That Mr and Mrs Traffick should come back
to Queen's Gate for the six weeks intervening between Easter
and Whitsuntide had been arranged, and arranged also that the
use of Merle Park, for the Whitsun holidays, should be allowed
to them. This last boon Augusta, with her sweetest kiss, had
obtained from her father only two days before the wedding. But
when it was suggested, just before the departure to Merle Park,
that Mr Traffick's unnecessary boots might be left at Queen's
Gate, because he would come back there, then Sir Thomas, who
had thought over the matter, said a word.
It was in this way. "Mamma," said Augusta, "I suppose I can leave
a lot of things in the big wardrobe. Jemima says I cannot take
them to Merle Park without ever so many extra trunks."
"Certainly, my dear. When anybody occupies the room, they won't
want all the wardrobe. I don't know that anyone will come this
summer."
This was only the thin end of the wedge, and, as Augusta felt,
was not introduced successfully. The words spoken seemed to have
admitted that a return to Queen's Gate had not been intended.
The conversation went no further at the moment, but was recommenced
the same evening. "Mamma, I suppose Septimus can leave his things
here?"
"Of course, my dear; he can leave anything -- to be taken care
of."
"It will be so convenient if we can come back -- just for a few
days."
Now, there certainly had been a lack of confidence between the
married daughter and her mother as to a new residence. A word
had been spoken, and Augusta had said that she supposed they
would go to Lord Boardotrade when they left Queen's Gate, just
to finish the season. Now, it was known that his lordship, with
his four unmarried daughters, lived in a small house in a small
street in Mayfair. The locality is no doubt fashionable, but
the house was inconvenient. Mr Traffick, himself, had occupied
lodgings near the House of Commons, but these had been given
up. "I think you must ask your papa," said Lady Tringle.
"Couldn't you ask him?" said the Honourable Mrs Traffick. Lady
Tringle was driven at last to consent, and then put the question
to Sir Thomas -- beginning with the suggestion as to the unnecessary
boots.
"I suppose Septimus can leave his things here?"
"Where do they mean to live when they come back to town?" asked
Sir Thomas, sharply.
"I suppose it would be convenient if they could come here for
a little time," said Lady Tringle.
"And stay till the end of the season -- and then go down to Glenbogie,
and then to Merle Park! Where do they mean to live?"
"I think there was a promise about Glenbogie," said Lady Tringle.
"I never made a promise. I heard Traffick say that he would like
to have some shooting -- though, as far as I know, he can't hit
a haystack. They may come to Glenbogie for two or three weeks,
if they like, but they shan't stay here during the entire summer."
"You won't turn your own daughter out, Tom."
"I'll turn Traffick out, and I suppose he'll take his wife with
him," said Sir Thomas, thus closing the conversation in wrath.
The Trafficks went and came back, and were admitted into the
bedroom with the big wardrobe, and to the dressing-room where
the boots were kept. On the very first day of his arrival Mr
Traffick was in the House at four, and remained there till four
the next morning -- certain Irish Members having been very eloquent.
He was not down when Sir Thomas left the next morning at nine,
and was again at the House when Sir Thomas came home to dinner.
"How long is it to be?" said Sir Thomas, that night, to his wife.
There was a certain tone in his voice which made Lady Tringle
feel herself to be ill all over. It must be said, in justice
to Sir Thomas, that he did not often use this voice in his domestic
circle, though it was well known in Lombard Street. But he used
it now, and his wife felt herself to be unwell. "I am not going
to put up with it, and he needn't think it."
"Don't destroy poor Augusta's happiness so soon."
"That be d -- d," said the father, energetically. "Who's going
to destroy her happiness? Her happiness ought to consist in living
in her husband's house. What have I given her all that money
for?" Then Lady Tringle did not dare to say another word.
It was not till the third day that Sir Thomas and his son-in-law
met each other. By that time Sir Thomas had got it into his head
that his son-in-law was avoiding him. But on the Saturday there
was no House. It was then just the middle of June -- Saturday,
June 15 -- and Sir Thomas had considered, at the most, that there
would be yet nearly two months before Parliament would cease
to sit and the time for Glenbogie would come. He had fed his
anger warm, and was determined that he would not be done. "Well,
Traffick, how are you?" he said, encountering his son-in-law
in the hall, and leading him into the dining-room. "I haven't
seen you since you've been back."
"I've been in the House morning, noon, and night, pretty near."
"I dare say. I hope you found yourself comfortable at Merle Park."
"A charming house -- quite charming. I don't know whether I shouldn't
build the stables a little further from -- "
"Very likely. Nothing is so easy as knocking other people's houses
about. I hope you'll soon have one to knock about of your own."
"All in good time," said Mr Traffick, smiling.
Sir Thomas was one of those men who during the course of a successful
life have contrived to repress their original roughnesses, and
who make a not ineffectual attempt to live after the fashion
of those with whom their wealth and successes have thrown them.
But among such will occasionally be found one whose roughness
does not altogether desert him, and who can on an occasion use
it with a purpose. Such a one will occasionally surprise his
latter-day associates by the sudden ferocity of his brow, by
the hardness of his voice, and by an apparently unaccustomed
use of violent words. The man feels that he must fight, and,
not having learned the practice of finer weapons, fights in this
way. Unskilled with foils or rapier he falls back upon the bludgeon
with which his hand has not lost all its old familiarity. Such
a one was Sir Thomas Tringle, and a time for such exercise had
seemed to him to have come now. There are other men who by the
possession of imperturbable serenity seem to be armed equally
against rapier and bludgeon, whom there is no wounding with any
weapon. Such a one was Mr Traffick. When he was told of knocking
about a house of his own, he quite took the meaning of Sir Thomas's
words, and was immediately prepared for the sort of conversation
which would follow. "I wish I might -- a Merle Park of my own
for instance. If I had gone into the City instead of to Westminster
it might have come in my way."
"It seems to me that a good deal has come in your way without
very much trouble on your part.
"A seat in the House is a nice thing -- but I work harder, I
take it, than you do, Sir Thomas."
"I never have had a shilling but what I earned. When you leave
this where are you and Augusta going to live?"
This was a home question, which would have disconcerted most
gentlemen in Mr Traffick's position, were it not that gentlemen
easily disconcerted would hardly find themselves there.
"Where shall we go when we leave this? You wore so kind as to
say something about Glenbogie when Parliament is up."
"No, I didn't."
"I thought I understood it."
"You said something and I didn't refuse."
"Put it any way you like, Sir Thomas."
"But what do you mean to do before Parliament is up? The long
and the short of it is, we didn't expect you to come back after
the holidays. I like to be plain. This might go on for ever if
I didn't speak out."
"And a very comfortable way of going on it would be." Sir Thomas
raised his eyebrows in unaffected surprise, and then again assumed
his frown. "Of course I'm thinking of Augusta chiefly."
"Augusta made up her mind no doubt to leave her father's house
when she married."
"She shows her affection for her parents by wishing to remain
in it. The fact, I suppose, is, you want the rooms."
"But even if we didn't? You're not going to live here for ever,
I suppose?"
"That, Sir, is too good to be thought of, I fear. The truth is
we had an idea of staying at my father's. He spoke of going down
to the country and lending us the house. My sisters have made
him change his mind and so here we are. Of course we can go into
lodgings."
"Or to an hotel."
"Too dear! You see you've made me pay such a sum for insuring
my life. I'll tell you what I'll do. If you'll let us make it
out here till the 10th of July we'll go into an hotel then."
Sir Thomas, surprised at his own compliance, did at last give
way. "And then we can have a month at Glenbogie from the 12th."
"Three weeks," said Sir Thomas, shouting at the top of his voice.
"Very well; three weeks. If you could have made it the month
it would have been convenient; but I hate to be disagreeable."
Thus the matter was settled, and Mr Traffick was altogether well
pleased with the arrangement.
"What are we to do?" said Augusta, with a very long face. "What
are we to do when we are made to go away?"
"I hope I shall be able to make some of the girls go down by
that time, and then we must squeeze in at my father's."
This and other matters made Sir Thomas in those days irritable
and disagreeable to the family. "Tom", he said to his wife, "is
the biggest fool that ever lived."
"What is the matter with him now?" asked Lady Tringle, who did
not like to have her only son abused.
"He's away half his time, and when he does come he'd better be
away. If he wants to marry that girl why doesn't he marry her
and have done with it?"
Now this was a matter upon which Lady Tringle had ideas of her
own which were becoming every day stronger. "I'm sure I should
be very sorry to see it," she said.
"Why should you be sorry? Isn't it the best thing a young man
can do? If he's set his heart that way all the world won't talk
him off. I thought all that was settled."
"You can't make the girl marry him."
"Is that it?" asked Sir Thomas, with a whistle. "You used to
say she was setting her cap at him."
"She is one of those girls you don't know what she would be at.
She's full of romance and nonsense, and isn't half as fond of
telling the truth as she ought to be. She made my life a burden
to me while she was with us, and I don't think she would be any
better for Tom."
"But he's still determined."
"What's the use of that?" said Lady Tringle.
"Then he shall have her. I made him a promise and I'm not going
to give it up. I told him that if he was in earnest he should
have her."
"You can't make a girl marry a young man."
"You have her here, and then we'll take her to Glenbogie. Now
when I say it I mean it. You go and fetch her, and if you don't
I will. I'm not going to have her turned out into the cold in
that way."
"She won't come, Tom." Then he turned round and frowned at her.
The immediate result of this was that Lady Tringle herself did
drive across to Kingsbury Crescent accompanied by Gertrude and
Lucy, and did make her request in form. "My dear, your uncle
particularly wants you to come to us for the next month." Mrs
Dosett was sitting by. "I hope Ayala may be allowed to come to
us for a month."
"Ayala must answer for herself," said Mrs Dosett, firmly. There
had never been any warm friendship between Mrs Dosett and her
husband's elder sister.
"I can't," said Ayala, shaking her head.
"Why not, my dear?" said Lady Tringle.
"I can't," said Ayala.
Lady Tringle was not in the least offended or annoyed at the
refusal. She did not at all desire that Ayala should come to
Glenbogie. Ayala at Glenbogie would make her life miserable to
her. It would, of course, lead to Tom's marriage, and then there
would be internecine fighting between Ayala and Augusta. But
it was necessary that she should take back to her husband some
reply -- and this reply, if in the form of refusal, must come
from Ayala herself. "Your uncle has sent me," said Lady Tringle,
"and I must give him some reason. As for expense, you know,"
-- then she turned to Mrs Dosett with a smile -- "that of course
would be our affair."
"If you ask me," said Mrs Dosett, "I think that as Ayala has
come to us she had better remain with us. Of course things are
very different, and she would be only discontented." At this
Lady Tringle smiled her sweetest smile -- as though acknowledging
that things certainly were different -- and then turned to Ayala
for a further reply.
"Aunt Emmeline, I can't," said Ayala.
"But why, my dear? Can't isn't a courteous answer to a request
that is meant to be kind."
"Speak out, Ayala," said Mrs Dosett. "There is nobody here but
your aunts."
"Because of Tom."
"Tom wouldn't eat you," said Lady Tringle, again smiling.
"It's worse than eating me," said Ayala. "He will go on when
I tell him not. If I were down there he'd be doing it always.
And then you'd tell me that I -- encouraged him!"
Lady Tringle felt this to be unkind and undeserved. Those passages
in Rome had been very disagreeable to every one concerned. The
girl certainly, as she thought, had been arrogant and impertinent.
She had been accepted from charity and had then domineered in
the family. She had given herself airs and had gone out into
company almost without authority, into company which had rejected
her -- Lady Tringle. It had become absolutely necessary to get
rid of an inmate so troublesome, so unbearable. The girl had
been sent away -- almost ignominiously. Now she, Lady Tringle,
the offended aunt, the aunt who had so much cause for offence,
had been good enough, gracious enough, to pardon all this, and
was again offering the fruition of a portion of her good things
to the sinner. No doubt she was not anxious that the offer should
be accepted, but not the less was it made graciously -- as she
felt herself. In answer to this she had thrown back upon her
the only hard word she had ever spoken to the girl! "You wouldn't
be told anything of the kind, but you needn't come if you don't
like it."
"Then I don't," said Ayala, nodding her head.
"But I did think that after all that has passed, and when I am
trying to be kind to you, you would have made yourself more pleasant
to me. I can only tell your uncle that you say you won't."
"Give my love to my uncle, and tell him that I am much obliged
to him and that I know how good he is; but I can't -- because
of Tom."
"Tom is too good for you," exclaimed Aunt Emmeline, who could
not bear to have her son depreciated even by the girl whom she
did not wish to marry him.
"I didn't say he wasn't," said Ayala, bursting into tears. "The
Archbishop of Canterbury would be too good for me, but I don't
want to marry him." Then she got up and ran out of the room in
order that she might weep over her troubles in the privacy of
her own chamber. She was thoroughly convinced that she was being
ill-used. No one had a right to tell her that any man was too
good for her unless she herself should make pretensions to the
man. It was an insult to her even to connect her name with that
of any man unless she had done something to connect it. In her
own estimation her cousin Tom was infinitely beneath her -- worlds
beneath her -- a denizen of an altogether inferior race, such
as the Beast was to the Beauty! Not that Ayala had ever boasted
to herself of her own face or form. It was not in that respect
that she likened herself to the Beauty when she thought of Tom
as the Beast. Her assumed superiority existed in certain intellectual
or rather artistic and aesthetic gifts -- certain celestial gifts.
But as she had boasted of them to no one, as she had never said
that she and her cousin were poles asunder in their tastes, poles
asunder in their feelings, poles asunder in their intelligence,
was it not very, very cruel that she should be told, first that
she encouraged him, and then that she was not good enough for
him? Cinderella did not ask to have the Prince for her husband.
When she had her own image of which no one could rob her, and
was content with that, why should they treat her in this cruel
way?
"I am afraid you are having a great deal of trouble with her,"
said Lady Tringle to Mrs Dosett.
"No, indeed. Of course she is romantic, which is very objectionable."
"Quite detestable!" said Lady Tringle.
"But she has been brought up like that, so that it is not her
fault. Now she endeavours to do her best."
"She is so upsetting."
"She is angry because her cousin persecutes her." "Persecutes
her, indeed! Tom is in a position to ask any girl to be his wife.
He can give her a home of her own, and a good income. She ought
to be proud of the offer instead of speaking like that. But nobody
wants her to have him."
"He wants it, I suppose."
"Just taken by her baby face -- that's all. It won't last, and
she needn't think so. However, I've done my best to be kind,
Mrs Dosett, and there's an end of it. If you please I'll ring
the bell for the carriage. Goodbye." After that she swam out
of the room and had herself carried back to Queen's Gate.
Three or four days afterwards Sir Thomas asked whether Ayala
was to come to Glenbogie. "She positively refused," said his
wife, "and was so rude and impertinent that I could not possibly
have her now." Then Sir Thomas frowned and turned himself away,
and said not a word further on that occasion.
There were many candidates for Glenbogie on this occasion. Among
others there was Mr Frank Houston, whose candidature was not
pressed by himself -- as could not well have been done -- but
was enforced by Gertrude on his behalf. It was now July. Gertrude
and Mr Houston had seen something of each other in Rome, as may
be remembered, and since then had seen a good deal of each other
in town. Gertrude was perfectly well aware that Mr Houston was
impecunious; but Augusta had been allowed to have an impecunious
lover, and Tom to throw himself at the feet of an impecunious
love. Gertrude felt herself to be entitled to her £120,000;
did not for a moment doubt but that she would get it. Why shouldn't
she give it to any young man she liked as long as he belonged
to decent people? Mr Houston wasn't a Member of Parliament --
but then he was young and good-looking. Mr Houston wasn't son
to a lord, but he was brother to a county squire, and came of
a family much older than that of those stupid Boardotrade and
Traffick people. And then Frank Houston was very presentable,
was not at all bald, and was just the man for a girl to like
as a husband. It was dinned into her ears that Houston had no
income at all -- just a few hundreds a year on which he never
could keep himself out of debt. But he was a generous man, who
would be more than contented with the income coming from £120,000.
He would not spunge upon the house at Queen's Gate. He would
not make use of Merle Park and Glenbogie. He would have a house
of his own for his old boots. Four-percent. would give them nearly
£5,000 a year. Gertrude knew all about it already. They could
have a nice house near Queen's Gate -- say somewhere about Onslow
Gardens. There would be quite enough for a carriage, for three
months upon a mountain in Switzerland, and three more among the
art treasures of Italy. It was astonishing how completely Gertrude
had it all at her finger's ends when she discussed the matter
with her mother. Mr Houston was a man of no expensive tastes.
He didn't want to hunt. He did shoot, no doubt, and perhaps a
little shooting at Glenbogie might be nice before they went to
Switzerland. In that case two months on the top of the mountain
would suffice. But if he was not asked he would never condescend
to demand an entry at Glenbogie as a part of his wife's dower.
Lady Tringle was thus talked over, though she did think that
at least one of her daughter's husbands ought to have an income
of his own. There was another point which Gertrude put forward
very frankly, and which no doubt had weight with her mother.
"Mamma, I mean to have him," she said, when Lady Tringle expressed
a doubt.
"But papa?"
"I mean to have him. Papa can scold, of course, if he pleases."
"But where would the income come from if papa did not give it?"
"Of course he'll give it. I've a right to it as much as Augusta."
There was something in Gertrude's face as she said this which
made her mother think that she would have her way.
But Sir Thomas had hitherto declined. When Frank Houston, after
the manner of would-be sons-in-law, had applied to Sir Thomas,
Sir Thomas, who already knew all about it, asked after his income,
his prospects, and his occupation. Fifty years ago young men
used to encounter the misery of such questions, and to live afterwards
often in the enjoyment of the stern questioner's money and daughters.
But there used in those days to be a bad quarter of an hour while
the questions were being asked, and not unfrequently a bad six
months afterwards, while the stern questioner was gradually undergoing
a softening process under the hands of the females of the family.
But the young man of today has no bad quarter of an hour. "You
are a mercantile old brick with money and a daughter. I am a
jeunesse doree -- gilded by blood and fashion, though so utterly
impecunious! Let us know your terms. How much is it to be, and
then I can say whether we can afford to live upon it." The old
brick surrenders himself more readily and speedily to the latter
than to the former manner -- but he hardly surrenders himself
quite at once. Frank Houston, when inquired into, declared at
once, without blushing, that he had no income at all to speak
of in reference to matrimonial life. As to family prospects he
had none. His elder brother had four blooming boys, and was likely
to have more. As for occupation, he was very fond of painting,
very fond of art all round, could shoot a little, and was never
in want of anything to do as long as he had a book. But for the
earning of money he had no turn whatever. He was quite sure of
himself that he could never earn a shilling. But then on the
other hand he was not extravagant -- which was almost as good
as earning. It was almost incredible; but with his means, limited
as they were to a few hundreds, he did not owe above a thousand
pounds -- a fact which he thought would weigh much with Sir Thomas
in regard to his daughter's future happiness.
Sir Thomas gave him a flat refusal. "I think that I may boast
that your daughter's happiness is in my charge," said Frank Houston.
"Then she must be unhappy," said Sir Thomas. Houston shrugged
his shoulders. "A fool like that has no right to be happy."
"There isn't another man in the world by whom I would allow her
to be spoken of like that," said Houston.
"Bother!"
"I regard her as all that is perfect in woman, and you must forgive
me if I say that I shall not abandon my suit. I may be allowed,
at any rate, to call at the house?"
"Certainly not."
"That is a kind of thing that is never done nowadays -- never,"
said Houston, shaking his head.
"I suppose my own house is my own."
"Yours and Lady Tringle's, and your daughters', no doubt. At
any rate, Sir Thomas, you will think of this again. I am sure
you will think of it again. If you find that your daughter's
happiness depends upon it -- "
"I shall find nothing of the kind. Good morning."
"Good morning, Sir Thomas." Then Mr Houston, bowing graciously,
left the little back room in Lombard Street, and, jumping into
a cab had himself taken straight away to Queen's Gate.
"Papa is always like that," said Gertrude. On that day Mrs Traffick,
with all the boots, had taken herself away to the small house
in Mayfair, and Gertrude, with her mother, had the house to herself.
At the present moment Lady Tringle was elsewhere, so that the
young lady was alone with her lover.
"But he comes round, I suppose."
"If he doesn't have too much to eat -- which disagrees with him
-- he does. He's always better down at Glenbogie because he's
out of doors a good deal, and then he can digest things."
"Then take him down to Glenbogie and let him digest it at once."
"Of course we can't go till the 12th. Perhaps we shall start
on the 10th, because the 11th is Sunday. What will you do, Frank?"
There had been a whisper of Frank's going to the Tyrol in August,
there to join the Mudbury Docimers, who were his far-away cousins.
Imogene Docimer was a young lady of marvellous beauty -- not
possessed indeed of £120,000 -- of whom Gertrude had heard,
and was already anxious that her Frank should not go to the Tyrol
this year. She was already aware that her Frank had -- just an
artist's eye for feminine beauty in its various shapes, and thought
that in the present condition of things he would be better at
Glenbogie than in the Tyrol.
"I am thinking of wandering away somewhere -- perhaps to the
Tyrol. The Mudbury Docimers are there. He's a pal of mine, besides
being a cousin. Mrs Docimer is a very nice woman."
"And her sister?"
"A lovely creature. Such a turn of the neck! I've promised to
make a study of her back head."
"Come down to Glenbogie," said Gertrude, sternly.
"How can I do that when your governor won't let me enter his
house door even in London?"
"But you're here."
"Well -- yes -- I am here. But he told me not. I don't see how
I'm to drive in at the gate at Glenbogie with all my traps, and
ask to be shown my room. I have cheek enough for a good deal,
my pet."
"I believe you have, Sir -- cheek enough for anything. But mamma
must manage it -- mamma and me, between us. Only keep yourself
disengaged. You won't go to the Tyrol -- eh?" Then Frank Houston
promised that he would not go to the Tyrol as long as there was
a chance open that he might be invited to Glenbogie.
"I won't hear of it," said Sir Thomas to his wife. On that occasion
his digestion had perhaps failed him a little. "He only wants
to get my money."
"But Gertrude has set her heart on it, and nothing will turn
her away."
"Why can't she set her heart on someone who has got a decent
income? That man hasn't a shilling."
"Nor yet has Mr Traffick."
"Mr Traffick has, at any rate, got an occupation. Were it to
do again, Mr Traffick would never see a shilling of my money.
By -- , those fellows, who haven't got a pound belonging to
them, think that they're to live on the fat of the land out of
the sweat of the brow of such men as me."
"What is your money for, Tom, but for the children?"
"I know what it's for. I'd sooner build a hospital than give
it to an idle fellow like that Houston. When I asked him what
he did, he said he was fond of 'picters'!" Sir Thomas would fall
back from his usual modes of expression when he was a little
excited.
"Of course he hasn't been brought up to work. But he is a gentleman,
and I do think he would make our girl happy."
"My money would make him happy -- till he had spent it."
"Tie it up."
"You don't know what you're talking about. How are you to prevent
a man from spending his wife's income?"
"At any rate, if you have him down at Glenbogie you can see what
sort of a man he is. You don't know him now."
"As much as I wish to."
"That isn't fair to the poor girl. You needn't give your consent
to a marriage because he comes to Glenbogie. You have only to
say that you won't give the money and then it must be off. They
can't take the money from you." His digestion could not have
been very bad, for he allowed himself to be persuaded that Houston
should be asked to Glenbogie for ten days. This was the letter
of invitation --
MY DEAR MR. HOUSTON,
We shall start for Glenbogie on the 10th of next month. Sir Thomas
wishes you to join us on the 20th if you can, and stay till the
end of the month. We shall be a little crowded at first, and
therefore cannot name an earlier day.
I am particularly to warn you that this means nothing more than
a simple invitation. I know what passed between you and Sir Thomas,
and he hasn't at all changed his mind. I think it right to tell
you this. If you like to speak to him again when you are at Glenbogie
of course you can.
Very sincerely yours,
EMMELINE TRINGLE
At the same time, or within a post of it, he got another letter,
which was as follows --
DEAREST F,
Papa, you see, hasn't cut up so very rough, after all. You are
to be allowed to come and help to slaughter grouse, which will
be better than going to that stupid Tyrol. If you want to draw
somebody's back head you can do it there. Isn't it a joke papa's
giving way like that all in a moment? He gets so fierce sometimes
that we think he's going to eat everybody. Then he has to come
down, and he gets eaten worse than anybody else.
Of course, as you're asked to Glenbogie, you can come here as
often as you like. I shall ride on Thursday and Friday. I shall
expect you exactly at six, just under the Memorial. You can't
come home to dinner, you know, because he might flare up; but
you can turn in at lunch every day you please except Saturday
and Sunday. I intend to be so jolly down at Glenbogie. You mustn't
be shooting always.
Ever your own,
G.
Frank Houston as he read this threw himself back on the sofa
and gave way to a soft sigh. He knew he was doing his duty --
just as another man does who goes forth from his pleasant home
to earn his bread and win his fortune in some dry, comfortless
climate, far from the delights to which he has been always accustomed.
He must do his duty. He could not live always adding a hundred
or two of debt to the burden already round his neck. He must
do his duty. As he thought of this he praised himself mightily.
How beautiful was his far-away cousin, Imogene Docimer, as she
would twist her head round so as to show the turn of her neck!
How delightful it would be to talk love to Imogene! As to marrying
Imogene, who hadn't quite so many hundreds as himself, that he
knew to be impossible. As for marriage, he wasn't quite sure
that he wanted to marry anyone. Marriage, to his thinking, was
"a sort of grind" at the best. A man would have to get up and
go to bed with some regularity. His wife might want him to come
down in a frock coat to breakfast. His wife would certainly object
to his drawing the back heads of other young women. Then he thought
of the provocation he had received to draw Gertrude's back head.
Gertrude hadn't got any turn of a neck to speak of. Gertrude
was a stout, healthy girl; and, having £120,000, was entitled
to such a husband as himself. If he waited longer he might be
driven to worse before he found the money which was so essentially
necessary. He was grateful to Gertrude for not being worse, and
was determined to treat her well. But as for love, romance, poetry,
art -- all that must for the future be out of the question. Of
course, there would now be no difficulty with Sir Thomas, and
therefore he must at once make up his mind. He decided that morning,
with many soft regrets, that he would go to Glenbogie, and let
those dreams of wanderings in the mountains of the Tyrol pass
away from him. "Dear, dearest Imogene!" He could have loved Imogene
dearly had fates been more propitious. Then he got up and shook
himself, made his resolution like a man, ate a large allowance
of curried salmon for his breakfast -- and then wrote the following
letter. "Duty first!" he said to himself as he sat down to the
table like a hero.
Letter No. 1
DEAR LADY TRINGLE,
So many thanks! Nothing could suit my book so well as a few days
at Glenbogie just at the end of August. I will be there, like
a book, on the 20th. Of course I understand all that you say.
Fathers can't be expected to yield all at once, especially when
suitors haven't got very much of their own. I shouldn't have
dared to ask hadn't I known myself to be a most moderate man.
Of course I shall ask again. If you will help me, no doubt I
shall succeed. I really do think that I am the man to make Gertrude
happy.
Yours, dear Lady Tringle, ever so much,
F. HOUSTON
Letter No. 2
MY OWN ONE,
Your governor is a brick. Of course, Glenbogie will be better
than the Tyrol, as you are to be there. Not but what the Tyrol
is a very jolly place, and we'll go and see it together some
day. Ask Tom to let me know whether one can wear heavy boots
in the Glenbogie mountains. They are much the best for the heather;
but I have shot generally in Yorkshire, and there they are too
hot. What number does he shoot with generally? I fancy the birds
are wilder with you than with us.
As for riding, I don't dare to sit upon a horse this weather.
Nobody but a woman can stand it. Indeed, now I think of it, I
sold my horse last week to pay the fellow I buy paints from.
I've got the saddle and bridle, and if I stick them up upon a
rail, under the trees, it would be better than any horse while
the thermometer is near 80. All the ladies could come round and
talk to one so nicely.
I hate lunch, because it makes me red in the face, and nobody
will give me my breakfast before eleven at the earliest. But
I'll come in about three as often as you like to have me. I think
I perhaps shall run over to the Tyrol after Glenbogie. A man
must go somewhere when he has been turned out in that fashion.
There are so many babies at Buncombe Hall! -- Buncombe Hall is
the family seat of the Houstons -- and I don't like to see my
own fate typified before the time.
Can I do anything for you except riding or eating lunch -- which
are simply feminine exercises?
Always your own,
FRANK
Letter No. 3
DEAR COUSIN IM,
How pleasant it is that a little strain of thin blood should
make the use of that pretty name allowable! What a stupid world
it is when the people who like each other best cannot get together
because of proprieties, and marriages, and such balderdash as
we call love. I do not in the least want to be in love with you
-- but I do want to sit near you, and listen to you, and look
at you, and to know that the whole air around is impregnated
by the mysterious odour of your presence. When one is thoroughly
satisfied with a woman there comes a scent as of sweet flowers,
which does not reach the senses of those whose feelings are not
so awakened.
And now for my news! I suppose that G. T. will in a tremendously
short period become Mistress F. H. "A long day, my Lord." But,
if you are to be hung, better be hung at once. Pere Tringle has
not consented -- has done just the reverse -- has turned me out
of his house, morally. That is, out of his London house. He asked
of my "house and my home", as they did of Allan-a-Dale. Queen
Gate and Glenbogie stand fair on the hill."My home", quoth bold
Houston, "shows gallanter still.'Tis the gerret up three pair
-- "
Then he told me roughly to get me gone; but "had laughed on the
lass with my bonny black eye." So the next day I got an invite
to Glenbogie, and at the appropriate time in August, She'll go
to the mountains to hear a love tale,And the youth -- it will
be told by is to be your poor unfortunate coz, Frank Houston.
Who's going to whimper? Haven't I known all along what was to
come? It has not been my lot in life to see a flower and pick
it because I love it. But a good head of cabbage when you're
hungry is wholesome food. --
Your loving cousin, but not loving as he oughtn't to love,
FRANK HOUSTON
"I shall still make a dash for the Tyrol when this episode at
Glenbogie is over."
Some few days after Lady Tringle had been at Kingsbury Crescent,
two visitors, who knew little or nothing of each other, came
to see Ayala. One was a lady and the other a gentleman, and the
lady came first. The gentleman, however, arrived before the lady
had gone. Mrs Dosett was present while the lady remained; but
when the gentleman came she was invited to leave him alone with
her niece -- as shall be told.
The lady was the Marchesa Baldoni. Can the reader go so far back
as to remember the Marchesa Baldoni? It was she who rather instigated
Ayala to be naughty to the Tringles in Rome, and would have Ayala
at her parties when she did not want the Tringles. The Marchesa
was herself an Englishwoman, though she had lived at Rome all
her life, and had married an Italian nobleman. She was now in
London for a few weeks, and still bore in mind her friendship
for Ayala, and a certain promise she had once made her. In Rome
Lady Tringle, actuated by Augusta, who at the moment was very
angry with everybody, including her own lover, had quarrelled
with the Marchesa. The Marchesa had then told Ayala that she,
Ayala, must stay with her aunt -- must, in fact, cease for the
time to come to the Marchesa's apartments, because of the quarrel;
but that a time would come in which they might again be friends.
Soon afterwards the Marchesa had heard that the Tringle family
had discarded poor Ayala -- that her own quarrel had, in fact,
extended itself to Ayala, and that Ayala had been shunted off
to a poor relation, far away from all the wealth and luxuries
which she had been allowed to enjoy for so short a time. Therefore,
soon after her arrival in London, the Marchesa had made herself
acquainted with the address of the Dosetts, and now was in Kingsbury
Crescent in fulfilment of her promise made at Rome.
"So now you have got our friend Ayala," said the Marchesa with
a smile to Mrs Dosett.
"Yes; we have her now. There has been a change. Her sister, Lucy,
has gone to my husband's sister, Lady Tringle."
The Marchesa made a pleasant little bow at each word. She seemed
to Mrs Dosett to be very gorgeously dressed. She was thoroughly
well dressed, and looked like a Marchesa -- or perhaps, even,
like a Marchioness. She was a tall, handsome woman, with a smile
perhaps a little too continuously sweet, but with a look conscious
of her own position behind it. She had seen in a moment of what
nature was Ayala, how charming, how attractive, how pretty, how
clever -- how completely the very opposite of the Tringles! Ayala
learned Italian so readily that she could talk it almost at once.
She could sing, and play, and draw. The Marchesa had been quite
willing that her own daughter Nina should find a friend in Ayala.
Then had come the quarrel. Now she was quite willing to renew
the friendship, though Ayala's position was so sadly altered.
Mrs Dosett was almost frightened as the grand lady sat holding
Ayala's hand, and patting it. "We used to know her so well in
Rome -- did we not, Ayala?"
"You were very kind to me."
"Nina couldn't come, because her father would make her go with
him to the pictures. But now, my dear, you must come to us just
for a little time. We have a furnished house in Brook Street,
near the park, till the end of the season, and we have one small
spare room which will just do for you. I hope you will let her
come to us, for we really are old friends," said the Marchesa,
turning to Mrs Dosett.
Mrs Dosett looked black. There are people who always look black
when such applications are made to them -- who look black at
any allusions to pleasures. And then there came across her mind
serious thoughts as to flowers and ribbons -- and then more serious
thoughts as to boots, dresses, and hats. Ayala, no doubt, had
come there less than six months since with good store of everything;
but Mrs Dosett knew that such a house as would be that of this
lady would require a girl to show herself with the newest sheen
on everything. And Ayala knew it too. The Marchesa turned from
the blackness of Mrs Dosett's face with her sweetest smile to
Ayala. "Can't we manage it?" said the Marchesa.
"I don't think we can," said Ayala, with a deep sigh.
"And why not?"
Ayala looked furtively round to her aunt. "I suppose I may tell,
Aunt Margaret?" she said.
"You may tell everything, my dear," said Mrs Dosett.
"Because we are poor," said Ayala.
"What does that matter?" said the Marchesa, brightening up. "We
want you because you are rich in good gifts and pretty ways."
"But I can't get new frocks now as I used to do in Rome. Aunt
Emmeline was cruel to me, and said things which I could not bear.
But they let me have everything. Uncle Reginald gives me all
that he has, and I am much happier here. But we cannot go out
and buy things -- can we, Aunt Margaret?"
"No, my dear; we cannot."
"It does not signify," said the Marchesa. "We are quite quiet,
and what you have got will do very well. Frocks! The frocks you
had in Rome are good enough for London. I won't have a word of
all that. Nina has set her heart upon it, and so has my husband,
and so have I. Mrs Dosett, when we are at home we are the most
homely people in the world. We think nothing of dressing. Not
to come and see your old friends because of your frocks! We shall
send for you the day after tomorrow. Don't you know, Mrs Dosett,
it will do her good to be with her young friend for a few days."
Mrs Dosett had not succeeded in her remonstrances when Sir Thomas
Tringle was shown into the room, and then the Marchesa took her
leave. For Sir Thomas Tringle was the other visitor who came
on that morning to see Ayala.
"If you wouldn't mind, Mrs Dosett," said Sir Thomas before he
sat down, "I should like to see Ayala alone." Mrs Dosett had
not a word to say against such a request, and at once took her
leave.
"My dear," he began, coming and sitting opposite to Ayala, with
his knees almost touching her, "I have got something very particular
to say to you." Ayala was at once much frightened. Her uncle
had never before spoken to her in this way -- had never in truth
said a word to her seriously. He had always been kind to her,
making her presents, and allowing himself to be kissed graciously
morning and evening. He had never scolded her, and, better than
all, had never said a word to her, one way or the other, about
Tom. She had always liked her uncle, because he had never caused
her trouble when all the others in his house had been troublesome
to her. But now she was afraid of him. He did not frown, but
he looked very seriously at her, as he might look, perhaps, when
he was counting out all his millions in Lombard Street. "I hope
you think that I have always wished to be kind to you, Ayala."
"I am sure you have, Uncle Tom."
"When you had come to us I always wished you to stay. I don't
like changes of this sort. I suppose you didn't hit it off with
Augusta. But she's gone now."
"Aunt Emmeline said something." That accusation, as to "encouragement",
so rankled in her heart, that when she looked back at her grievances
among the Tringles that always loomed the largest.
"I don't want to hear anything about it," said Sir Thomas. "Let
bygones be bygones. Your aunt, I am sure, never meant unkindly
by you. Now, I want you to listen to me."
"I will, Uncle Tom."
"Listen to me to the end, like a good girl."
"I will."
"Your Cousin Tom -- ." Ayala gave a visible shudder, and uttered
an audible groan, but as yet she did not say a word. Sir Thomas,
having seen the shudder, and heard the groan, did frown as he
began again. "Your Cousin Tom is most truly attached to you."
"Why won't he leave me alone, then?"
"Ayala, you promised to listen to me without speaking."
"I will, Uncle Tom. Only -- "
"Listen to me, and then I will hear anything you have to say."
"I will," said Ayala, screwing up her lips, so that no words
should come out of them, let the provocation be what it might.
Sir Thomas began again. "Your Cousin Tom is most truly attached
to you. For some time I and his mother disapproved of this. We
thought you were both too young, and there were other reasons
which I need not now mention. But when I came to see how thoroughly
he was in earnest, how he put his heart into it, how the very
fact that he loved you had made a man of him; then how the fact
that you would not return his love unmanned him -- when I saw
all that, I gave my permission." Here he paused, almost as though
expecting a word; but Ayala gave an additional turn to the screw
on her lips, and remained quite silent. "Yes; we gave our permission
-- I and your aunt. Of course, our son's happiness is all in
all to us; and I do believe that you are so good that you would
make him a good wife."
"But -- "
"Listen till I have done, Ayala." Then there was another squeeze.
"I suppose you are what they call romantic. Romance, my dear,
won't buy bread and butter. Tom is a very good young man, and
he loves you most dearly. If you will consent to be his I will
make a rich man of him. He will then be a respectable man of
business, and will become a partner in the house. You and he
can choose a place to live in almost where you please. You can
have your own establishment and your carriage, and will be able
to do a deal of good. You will make him happy, and you will be
my dear child. I have come here to tell you that I will make
you welcome into the family, and to promise that I will do everything
I can to make you happy. Now you may say what you like; but,
Ayala, think a little before you speak."
Ayala thought a little -- not as to what she should say, but
as to the words in which she might say it. She was conscious
that a great compliment was paid to her. And there was a certain
pride in her heart as she thought that this invitation into the
family had come to her after that ignominious accusation of encouragement
had been made. Augusta had snubbed her about Tom, and her aunt;
but now she was asked to come among them, and be one of them,
with full observances. She was aware of all this, and aware,
also, that such treatment required from her a gracious return.
But not on that account could she give herself to the Beast.
Not on that account could she be untrue to her image. Not on
that account could she rob her bosom of that idea of love which
was seated there. Not on that account could she look upon the
marriage proposed to her with aught but a shuddering abhorrence.
She sat silent for a minute or two, while her heavy eyes were
fixed upon his. Then, falling on her knees before him, she put
up her little hands to pray to him. "Uncle Tom, I can't," she
said. And then the tears came running down her cheeks.
"Why can't you, Ayala? Why cannot you be sensible, as other girls
are?" said Sir Thomas, lifting her up, and putting her on his
knee.
"I can't," she said. "I don't know how to tell you."
"Do you love some other man?"
"No; no; no!" To Uncle Tom, at any rate, she need say nothing
of the image.
"Then why is it?"
"Because I can't. I don't know what I say, but I can't. I know
how very, very, very good you are."
"I would love you as my daughter."
"But I can't, Uncle Tom. Pray tell him, and make him get somebody
else. He would be quite happy if he could get somebody else."
"It is you that he loves."
"But what's the use of it, when I can't? Dear, dear Uncle Tom,
do have it all settled for me. Nothing on earth could ever make
me do it. I should die if I were to try."
"That's nonsense."
"I do so want not to make you angry, Uncle Tom. And I do so wish
he would be happy with someone else. Nobody ought to be made
to marry unless they like it -- ought they?"
"There is no talk of making," said Sir Thomas, frowning.
"At any rate I can't," said Ayala, releasing herself from her
uncle's embrace.
It was in vain that even after this he continued his request,
begging her to come down to Glenbogie, so that she might make
herself used to Tom and his ways. If she could only once more,
he thought, be introduced to the luxuries of a rich house, then
she would give way. But she would not go to Glenbogie,; she would
not go to Merle Park; she would not consent to see Tom anywhere.
Her uncle told her that she was romantic and foolish, endeavouring
to explain to her over and over again that the good things of
the world were too good to be thrown away for a dream. At last
there was a touch of dignity in the final repetition of her refusal.
"I am sorry to make you angry, but I can't, Uncle Tom." Then
he frowned with all his power of frowning, and, taking his hat,
left the room and the house almost without a word.
At the time fixed the Marchesa's carriage came, and Ayala with
her boxes was taken away to Brook Street. Uncle Reginald had
offered to do something for her in the way of buying a frock,
but this she refused, declaring that she would not allow herself
to become an expense merely because her friends in Rome had been
kind to her. So she had packed up the best of what she had and
started, with her heart in her mouth, fearing the grandeur of
the Marchesa's house. On her arrival she was received by Nina,
who at once threw herself into all her old intimacy. "Oh, Ayala,"
she said, "this is so nice to have you again. I have been looking
forward to this ever since we left Rome."
"Yes," said Ayala, "it is nice."
"But why did you tell mamma you would not come? What nonsense
to talk to her about frocks! Why not come and tell me? You used
to have everything at Rome, much more than I had."
Then Ayala began to explain the great difference between Uncle
Tom and Uncle Reginald -- how Uncle Tom had so many thousands
that nobody could count them, how Uncle Reginald was so shorn
in his hundreds that there was hardly enough to supply the necessaries
of life. "You see," she said, "when papa died Lucy and I were
divided. I got the rich uncle, and Lucy got the poor one; but
I made myself disagreeable, and didn't suit, and so we have been
changed."
"But why did you make yourself disagreeable?" said Nina, opening
her eyes. "I remember when we were at Rome your cousin Augusta
was always quarrelling with you. I never quite knew what it was
all about."
"It wasn't only that," said Ayala, whispering.
"Did you do anything very bad?"
Then it occurred to Ayala that she might tell the whole story
to her friend, and she told it. She explained the nature of that
great persecution as to Tom. "And that was the real reason why
we were changed," said Ayala, as she completed her story.
"I remember seeing the young man," said Nina.
"He is such a lout!"
"But was he very much in love?" asked Nina.
"Well, I don't know. I suppose he was after his way. I don't
think louts like that can be very much in love to signify. Young
men when they look like that would do with one girl as well as
another."
"I don't see that at all," said Nina.
"I am sure he would if he'd only try. At any rate what's the
good of his going on? They can't make a girl marry unless she
chooses."
"Won't he be rich?"
"Awfully rich," said Ayala.
"Then I should think about it again," said the young lady from
Rome.
"Never," said Ayala, with an impressive whisper. "I will never
think about it again. If he were made of diamonds I would not
think about it again."
"And is that why you were changed?" said Nina.
"Well, yes. No; it is very hard to explain. Aunt Emmeline told
me that -- that I encouraged him. I thought I should have rushed
out of the house when she said that. Then I had to be changed.
I don't know whether they could forgive me, but I could not forgive
her."
"And how is it now?"
"It is different now," said Ayala, softly. "Only that it can't
make any real difference."
"How different?"
"They'd let me come if I would, I suppose; but I shall never,
never go to them any more."
"I suppose you won't tell me everything?" said Nina, after a
pause.
"What everything?"
"You won't be angry if I ask?"
"No, I will not be angry."
"I suppose there is someone else you really care for?"
"There is no one," said Ayala, escaping a little from her friend's
embrace.
"Then why should you be so determined against that poor young
man?"
"Because he is a lout and a beast," said Ayala, jumping up. "I
wonder you should ask me -- as if that had anything to do with
it. Would you fall in love with a lout because you had no one
else? I would rather live for ever all alone, even in Kingsbury
Crescent, than have to think of becoming the wife of my cousin
Tom." At this Nina shrugged her shoulders, showing that her education
in Italy had been less romantic than that accorded to Ayala in
London.
But, though Nina differed somewhat from Ayala as to their ideas
as to life in general, they were close friends, and everything
was done both by the Marchesa and by her daughter to make Ayala
happy. There was not very much of going into grand society, and
that difficulty about the dresses solved itself, as do other
difficulties. There came a few presents, with entreaties from
Ayala that presents of that kind might not be made. But the presents
were, of course, accepted, and our girl was as prettily arrayed,
if not as richly, as the best around her. At first there was
an evening at the opera, and then a theatre -- diversions which
are easy. Ayala, after her six dull months in Kingsbury Crescent,
found herself well pleased to be taken to easy amusements. The
carriage in the park was delightful to her, and delightful a
visit which was made to her by Lucy. For the Tringle carriage
could be spared for a visit in Brook Street, even though there
was still a remembrance in the bosom of Aunt Emmeline of the
evil things which had been done by the Marchesa in Rome. Then
there came a dance -- which was not so easy. The Marchesa and
Nina were going to a dance at Lady Putney's, and arrangements
were made that Ayala should be taken. Ayala begged that there
might be no arrangements, declared that she would be quite happy
to see Nina go forth in her finery. But the Marchesa was a woman
who always had her way, and Ayala was taken to Lady Putney's
dance without a suspicion on the part of any who saw her that
her ball-room apparatus was not all that it ought to be.
Ayala when she entered the room was certainly a little bashful.
When in Rome, even in the old days at the bijou, when she did
not consider herself to be quite out, she had not been at all
bashful. She had been able to enjoy herself entirely, being very
fond of dancing, conscious that she could dance well, and always
having plenty to say for herself. But now there had settled upon
her something of the tedium, something of the silence, of Kingsbury
Crescent, and she almost felt that she would not know how to
behave herself if she were asked to stand up and dance before
all Lady Putney's world. In her first attempt she certainly was
not successful. An elderly gentleman was brought up to her --
a gentleman whom she afterwards declared to be a hundred, and
who was, in truth, over forty, and with him she manoeuvred gently
through a quadrille. He asked her two or three questions to which
she was able to answer only in monosyllables. Then he ceased
his questions, and the manoeuvres were carried on in perfect
silence. Poor Ayala did not attribute any blame to the man. It
was all because she had been six months in Kingsbury Crescent.
Of course this aged gentleman, if he wanted to dance, would have
a partner chosen for him out of Kingsbury Crescent. Conversation
was not to be expected from a gentleman who was made to stand
up with Kingsbury Crescent. Any powers of talking that had ever
belonged to herself had of course evaporated amidst the gloom
of Kingsbury Crescent. After this she was returned speedily to
the wings of the Marchesa, and during the next dance sat in undisturbed
peace. Then suddenly, when the Marchesa had for a moment left
her, and when Nina had just been taken away to join a set, she
saw the man of silence coming to her from a distance, with an
evident intention of asking her to stand up again. It was in
his eye, in his toe, as he came bowing forward. He had evidently
learned to suppose that they two outcasts might lessen their
miseries by joining them together. She was to dance with him
because no one else would ask her! She had plucked up her spirit
and resolved that, desolate as she might be, she would not descend
so far as that, when, in a moment, another gentleman sprang in,
as it were, between her and her enemy, and addressed her with
free and easy speech as though he had known her all her life.
"You are Ayala Dormer, I am sure," said he. She looked up into
his face and nodded her head at him in her own peculiar way.
She was quite sure that she had never set her eyes on him before.
He was so ugly that she could not have forgotten him. So at least
she told herself. He was very, very ugly, but his voice was very
pleasant. "I knew you were, and I am Jonathan Stubbs. So now
we are introduced, and you are to come and dance with me."
She had heard the name of Jonathan Stubbs. She was sure of that,
although she could not at the moment join any facts with the
name. "But I don't know you," she said, hesitating. Though he
was so ugly he could not but be better than that ancient dancer
whom she saw standing at a distance, looking like a dog that
has been deprived of his bone.
"Yes, you do," said Jonathan Stubbs, "and if you'll come and
dance I'll tell you about it. The Marchesa told me to take you."
"Did she?" said Ayala, getting up, and putting her little hand
upon his arm.
"I'll go and fetch her if you like; only she's a long way off,
and we shall lose our place. She's my aunt."
"Oh," said, Ayala, quite satisfied -- remembering now that she
had heard her friend Nina boast of a Colonel cousin, who was
supposed to be the youngest Colonel in the British army, who
had done some wonderful thing -- taken a new province in India,
or marched across Africa, or defended the Turks -- or perhaps
conquered them. She knew that he was very brave -- but why was
he so very ugly? His hair was ruby red, and very short; and he
had a thick red beard: not silky, but bristly, with each bristle
almost a dagger -- and his mouth was enormous. His eyes were
very bright, and there was a smile about him, partly of fun,
partly of good humour. But his mouth! And then that bristling
beard! Ayala was half inclined to like him, because he was so
completely master of himself, so unlike the unhappy ancient gentleman
who was still hovering at a distance. But why was he so ugly?
And why was he called Jonathan Stubbs?
"There now," he said, "we can't get in at any of the sets. That's
your fault."
"No, it isn't," said Ayala.
"Yes, it is. You wouldn't stand up till you had heard all about
me."
"I don't know anything about you now."
"Then come and walk about and I'll tell you. Then we shall be
ready for a waltz. Do you waltz well?"
"Do you?"
"I'll back myself against any Englishman, Frenchman, German,
or Italian, for a large sum of money. I can't come quite up to
the Poles. The fact is, the honester the man is the worse he
always dances. Yes; I see what you mean. I must be a rogue. Perhaps
I am -- perhaps I'm only an exception. I knew your father."
"Papa!"
"Yes, I did. He was down at Stalham with the Alburys once. That
was five years ago, and he told me he had a daughter named Ayala.
I didn't quite believe him."
"Why not?"
"It is such an out-of-the-way name."
"It's as good as Jonathan, at any rate." And Ayala again nodded
her head.
"There's a prejudice about Jonathan, as there is about Jacob
and Jonah. I never could quite tell why. I was going to marry
a girl once with a hundred thousand pounds, and she wouldn't
have me at last because she couldn't bring her lips to say Jonathan.
Do you think she was right?"
"Did she love you?" said Ayala, looking up into his face.
"Awfully! But she couldn't bear the name; so within three months
she gave herself and all her money to Mr Montgomery Talbot de
Montpellier. He got drunk, and threw her out of the window before
a month was over. That's what comes of going in for sweet names."
"I don't believe a word of it," said Ayala.
"Very well. Didn't Septimus Traffick marry your cousin?"
"Of course he did, about a month ago."
"He is another friend of mine. Why didn't you go to your cousin's
marriage?"
"There were reasons," said Ayala.
"I know all about it," said the Colonel. "You quarrelled with
Augusta down in Scotland, and you don't like poor Traffick because
he has got a bald head."
"I believe you're a conjuror," said Ayala.
"And then your cousin was jealous because you went to the top
of St Peter's, and because you would walk with Mr Traffick on
the Pincian. I was in Rome, and saw all about it."
"I won't have anything more to do with you," said Ayala.
"And then you quarrelled with one set of uncles and aunts, and
now you live with another."
"Your aunt told you that."
"And I know your cousin, Tom Tringle."
"You know Tom?" asked Ayala.
"Yes; he was ever so good to me in Rome about a horse; I like
Tom Tringle in spite of his chains. Don't you think, upon the
whole, if that young lady had put up with Jonathan she would
have done better than marry Montpellier? But now they're going
to waltz, come along."
Thereupon Ayala got up and danced with him for the next ten minutes.
Again and again before the evening was over she danced with him;
and although, in the course of the night, many other partners
had offered themselves, and many had been accepted, she felt
that Colonel Jonathan Stubbs had certainly been the partner of
the evening. Why should he be so hideously ugly? said Ayala to
herself, as she wished him goodnight before she left the room
with the Marchesa and Nina.
"What do you think of my nephew?" asked the Marchesa, when they
were in the carriage together.
"Do tell us what you think of Jonathan," said Nina.
"I thought he was very good-natured."
"And very handsome?"
"Nina, don't be foolish. Jonathan is one of the most rising officers
in the British service, and luckily he can be that without being
beautiful to look at."
"I declare," said Nina, "sometimes, when he is talking, I think
him perfectly lovely. The fire comes out of his eyes, and he
rubs his old red hairs about till they sparkle. Then he shines
all over like a carbuncle, and every word he says makes me die
of laughter."
"I laughed too," said Ayala.
"But you didn't think him beautiful," said Nina.
"No, I did not," said Ayala. "I liked him very much, but I thought
him very ugly. Was it true about the young lady who married Mr
Montgomery de Montpellier and was thrown out of a window a week
afterwards?"
"There is one other thing I must tell you about Jonathan," said
Nina. "You must not believe a word that he says."
"That I deny," said the Marchesa; "but here we are. And now,
girls, get out of the carriage and go up to bed at once."
Ayala, before she went to sleep, and again when she woke in the
morning, thought a great deal about her new friend. As to shining
like a carbuncle -- perhaps he did, but that was not her idea
of manly beauty. And hair ought not to sparkle. She was sure
that Colonel Stubbs was very, very ugly. She was almost disposed
to think that he was the ugliest man she had ever seen. He certainly
was a great deal worse than her cousin Tom, who, after all, was
not particularly ugly. But, nevertheless, she would very much
rather dance with Colonel Stubbs. She was sure of that, even
without reference to Tom's objectionable love-making. Upon the
whole she liked dancing with Colonel Stubbs, ugly as he was.
Indeed, she liked him very much. She had spent a very pleasant
evening because he had been there. "It all depends upon whether
anyone has anything to say." That was the determination to which
she came when she endeavoured to explain to herself how it had
come to pass that she had liked dancing with anybody so very
hideous. The Angel of Light would of course have plenty to say
for himself, and would be something altogether different in appearance.
He would be handsome -- or rather, intensely interesting, and
his talk would be of other things. He would not say of himself
that he danced as well as though he were a rogue, or declare
that a lady had been thrown out of a window the week after she
was married. Nothing could be more unlike an Angel of Light than
Colonel Stubbs -- unless, perhaps, it were Tom Tringle. Colonel
Stubbs, however, was completely unangelic -- so much so that
the marvel was that he should yet be so pleasant. She had no
horror of Colonel Stubbs at all. She would go anywhere with Colonel
Stubbs, and feel herself to be quite safe. She hoped she might
meet him again very often. He was, as it were, the Genius of
Comedy, without a touch of which life would be very dull. But
the Angel of Light must have something tragic in his composition
-- must verge, at any rate, on tragedy. Ayala did not know that
beautiful description of a "Sallow, sublime, sort of Werther-faced
man," but I fear that in creating her Angel of Light she drew
a picture in her imagination of a man of that kind.
Days went on, till the last day of Ayala's visit had come, and
it was necessary that she should go back to Kingsbury Crescent.
It was now August, and everybody was leaving town. The Marchesa
and Nina were going to their relations, the Alburys, at Stalham,
and could not, of course, take Ayala with them. The Dosetts would
remain in town for another month, with a distant hope of being
able to run down to Pegwell Bay for a fortnight in September.
But even that had not yet been promised. Colonel Stubbs had been
more than once at the house in Brook Street, and Ayala had come
to know him almost as she might some great tame dog. It was now
the afternoon of the last day, and she was sorry because she
would not be able to see him again. She was to be taken to the
theatre that night -- and then to Kingsbury Crescent and the
realms of Lethe early on the following morning.
It was very hot, and they were sitting with the shutters nearly
closed, having resolved not to go out, in order that they might
be ready for the theatre -- when the door was opened and Tom
Tringle was announced. Tom Tringle had come to call on his cousin.
"Lady Baldoni," he said, "I hope you won't think me intrusive,
but I thought I'd come and see my cousin once whilst she is staying
here." The Marchesa bowed, and assured him that he was very welcome.
"It's tremendously hot," said Tom.
"Very hot indeed," said the Marchesa.
"I don't think it's ever so hot as this in Rome," said Nina,
fanning herself.
"I find it quite impossible to walk a yard," said Tom, "and therefore
I've hired a hansom cab all to myself. The man goes home and
changes his horse regularly when I go to dinner; then he comes
for me at ten, and sticks to me till I go to bed. I call that
a very good plan." Nina asked him why he didn't drive the cab
himself. "That would be a grind," said he, "because it would
be so hot all day, and there might be rain at night. Have you
read what my brother-in-law, Traffick, said in the House last
night, my Lady?"
"I'm afraid I passed it over," said the Marchesa. "Indeed, I
am not very good at the debates."
"They are dull," said Tom, "but when it's one's brother-in-law,
one does like to look at it. I thought he made that very clear
about the malt tax." The Marchesa smiled and bowed.
"What is -- malt tax?" asked Nina.
"Well, it means beer," said Tom. "The question is whether the
poor man pays it who drinks the beer, or the farmer who grows
the malt. It is very interesting when you come to think of it."
"But I fear I never have come to think of it," said the Marchesa.
During all this time Ayala never said a word, but sat looking
at her cousin, and remembering how much better Colonel Jonathan
Stubbs would have talked if he had been there. Then, after a
pause, Tom got up, and took his leave, having to content himself
with simply squeezing his cousin's hand as he left the room.
"He is a lout," said Ayala, as soon as she knew that the door
was closed behind him.
"I don't see anything loutish at all," said the Marchesa.
"He's just like most other young men," said Nina.
"He's not at all like Colonel Stubbs," said Ayala.
Then the Marchesa preached a little sermon. "Colonel Stubbs,
my dear," she said, "happens to have been thrown a good deal
about the world, and has thus been able to pick up that easy
mode of talking which young ladies like, perhaps because it means
nothing. Your cousin is a man of business, and will probably
have amassed a large fortune when my poor nephew will be a do-nothing
old general on half-pay. His chatter will not then have availed
him quite so much as your cousin's habits of business."
"Mamma," said Nina, "Jonathan will have money of his own."
"Never mind, my dear. I do not like to hear a young man called
a lout because he's more like a man of business than a man of
pleasure." Ayala felt herself to be snubbed, but was not a whit
the less sure that Tom was a lout, and the Colonel an agreeable
partner to dance with. But at the same time she remembered that
neither the one nor the other was to be spoken of in the same
breath, or thought of in the same spirit, as the Angel of Light.
When they were dressed, and just going to dinner, the ugly man
with the red head was announced, and declared his purpose of
going with them to the theatre. "I've been to the office," said
he, "and got a stall next to yours, and have managed it all.
It now only remains that you should give me some dinner and a
seat in the carriage." Of course he was told that there was no
dinner sufficient for a man to eat; but he put up with a feminine
repast, and spent the whole of the evening sitting next to his
aunt, on a back tier, while the two girls were placed in front.
In this way, leaning forward, with his ugly head between them,
he acted as a running chorus to the play during the whole performance.
Ayala thoroughly enjoyed herself, and thought that in all her
experience no play she'd seen had ever been so delightful. On
their return home the two girls were both told to go to bed in
the Marchesa's good-natured authoritative tone; but, nevertheless,
Ayala did manage to say a word before she finally adjusted herself
on her pillow. "It is all very well, Nina, for your mamma to
say that a young man of business is the best; but I do know a
lout when I see him; and I am quite sure that my cousin Tom is
a lot, and that Colonel Jonathan is not."
"I believe you are falling in love with Colonel Jonathan," said
Nina.
"I should as soon think of falling in love with a wild bear --
but he's not a lout, and therefore I like him."
It was just before the Tringles had returned from Rome, during
the winter, that Lucy Dormer had met Mr Hamel in Kensington Gardens
for the second time, had walked there with him perhaps for half
an hour, and had then retumed home with a conviction that she
had done a wicked thing. But she had other convictions also,
which were perhaps stronger. "Now that we have met, am I to lose
you again?" he had said. What could he mean by losing except
that she was the one thing which he desired to find? But she
had not seen him since, or heard a word of his whereabouts, although,
as she so well remembered, she had given him an address at her
Aunt Emmeline's -- not knowing then that it would be her fate
to become a resident in her Aunt Emmeline's house. She had told
him that Ayala would live there, and that perhaps she might sometimes
be found visiting Ayala. Now, she was herself filling Ayala's
place, and might so easily have been found. But she knew nothing
of the man who had once asked whether he was "to lose her again".
Her own feelings about Isadore Hamel were clear enough to herself
now. Ayala in her hot humour had asked her whether she could
give her hand and her heart to such a one as their cousin Tom,
and she had found herself constrained to say that she could not
do so, because she was not free -- not quite free -- to do as
she pleased with her hand and her heart. She had striven hard
not to acknowledge anything, even to Ayala -- even to herself.
But the words had been forced from her, and now she was conscious,
terribly conscious, that the words were true. There could be
no one else now, whether Tom or another -- whether such as Tom
or such as any other. It was just that little word that had won
her. "Am I to lose you again?" A girl loves most often because
she is loved -- not from choice on her part. She is won by the
flattery of the man's desire. "Am I to lose you again?" He had
seemed to throw all his soul into his voice and into his eyes
as he had asked the question. A sudden thrill had filled her,
and, for his sake -- for his sake -- she had hoped that she might
not be lost to him. Now she began to fear that he was lost to
her.
Something has been told of the relations between Isadore Hamel
and his father. They were both sculptors, the father having become
a successful artist. The father was liberal, but he was essentially
autocratic. If he supplied to his son the means of living --
and he was willing to supply the means of a very comfortable
life -- he expected that his son should live to some extent in
accordance with his fancies. The father wished his son to live
in Rome, and to live after the manner of Romans. Isadore would
prefer to live in London, and after the manner of Londoners.
For a time he had been allowed to do so, and had achieved a moderate
success. But a young artist may achieve a moderate success with
a pecuniary result that shall be almost less than moderate. After
a while the sculptor in Rome had told his son that if he intended
to remain in London he ought to do so on the independent proceeds
of his own profession. Isadore, if he would return to Rome, would
be made welcome to join his affairs to those of his father. In
other words, he was to be turned adrift if he remained in London,
and petted with every luxury if he would consent to follow his
art in Italy. But in Rome the father lived after a fashion which
was distasteful to the son. Old Mr Hamel had repudiated all conventions.
Conventions are apt to go very quickly, one after another, when
the first has been thrown aside. The man who ceases to dress
for dinner soon finds it to be a trouble to wash his hands. A
house is a bore. Calling is a bore. Church is a great bore. A
family is a bore. A wife is an unendurable bore. All laws are
bores, except those by which inferiors can be constrained to
do their work. Mr Hamel had got rid of a great many bores, and
had a strong opinion that bores prevailed more mightily in London
than in Rome. Isadore was not a bore to him. He was always willing
to have Isadore near to him. But if Isadore chose to enter the
conventional mode of life he must do it at his own expense. It
may be said at once that Isadore's present view of life was very
much influenced by Lucy Dormer, and by a feeling that she certainly
was conventional. A small house, very prettily furnished, somewhat
near the Fulham Road, or perhaps verging a little towards South
Kensington, with two maids, and perhaps an additional one as
nurse in the process of some months, with a pleasant English
breakfast and a pleasant English teapot in the evening, afforded
certainly a very conventional aspect of life. But, at the present
moment, it was his aspect, and therefore he could not go upon
all fours with his father. In this state of things there had,
during the last twelvemonth, been more than one journey made
to Rome and back. Ayala had seen him at Rome, and Lady Tringle,
remembering that the man had been intimate with her brother,
was afraid of him. They had made inquiry about him, and had fully
resolved that he should not be allowed into the house if he came
after Ayala. He had no mother -- to speak of; and he had little
brothers and sisters, who also had no mother -- to speak of.
Mr Hamel, the father, entertained friends on Sunday, with the
express object of playing cards. That a Papist should do so was
to be borne -- but Mr Hamel was not a Papist, and, therefore,
would certainly be -- . All this and much more had been learned
at Rome, and therefore Lucy, though she herself never mentioned
Mr Hamel's name in Queen's Gate, heard evil things said of the
man who was so dear to her.
It was the custom of her life to be driven out every day with
her aunt and Gertrude. Not to be taken two or three times round
the park would be to Lady Tringle to rob her of the best appreciated
of all those gifts of fortune which had come to her by reason
of the banker's wealth. It was a stern law -- and as stern a
law that Lucy should accompany her. Gertrude, as being an absolute
daughter of the house, and as having an almost acknowledged lover
of her own, was allowed some choice. But for Lucy there was no
alternative. Why should she not go and be driven? Two days before
they left town she was being driven, while her aunt was sitting
almost in a slumber beside her, when suddenly a young man, leaning
over the railings, took off his hat so close to Lucy that she
could almost have put out her hand to him. He was standing there
all alone, and seemed simply to be watching the carriages as
they passed. She felt that she blushed as she bowed to him, and
saw also that the colour had risen to his face. Then she turned
gently round to her aunt, whom she hoped to find still sleeping;
but Aunt Emmeline could slumber with one eye open. "Who was that
young man, my dear?" said Aunt Emmeline.
"It was Mr Hamel."
"Mr Isadore Hamel!" said Aunt Emmeline, horrified. "Is that the
young man at Rome who has got the horrible father?"
"I do not know his father," said Lucy; "but he does live at Rome."
"Of course, it is the Mr Hamel I mean. He scraped some acquaintance
with Ayala, but I would not have it for a moment. He is not at
all the sort of person any young girl ought to know. His father
is a horrible man. I hope he is no friend of yours, Lucy!"
"He is a friend of mine." Lucy said this in a tone of voice which
was very seldom heard from her, but which, when heard, was evidence
that beneath the softness of her general manner there lay a will
of her own.
"Then, my dear, I hope that such friendship may be discontinued
as long as you remain with us."
"He was a friend of papa's," said Lucy.
"That's all very well. I suppose artists must know artists, even
though they are disreputable."
"Mr Hamel is not disreputable."
Aunt Emmeline, as she heard this, could almost fancy that she
was renewing one of her difficulties with Ayala. "My dear," she
said -- and she intended to be very impressive as she spoke --
"in a matter such as this I must beg you to be guided by me.
You must acknowledge that I know the world better than you do.
Mr Hamel is not a fit person to be acquainted with a young lady
who occupies the place of my daughter. I am sure that will be
sufficient." Then she leant back in the carriage, and seemed
again to slumber; but she still had one eye open, so that if
Mr Hamel should appear again at any corner and venture to raise
his hand she might be aware of the impropriety. But on that day
Mr Hamel did not appear again.
Lucy did not speak another word during the drive, and on reaching
the house went at once to her bedroom. While she had been out
with her aunt close to her, and while it had been possible that
the man she loved should appear again, she had been unable to
collect her thoughts or to make up her mind what she would do
or say. One thing simply was certain to her, that if Mr Hamel
should present himself again to her she would not desert him.
All that her aunt had said to her as to improprieties and the
like had no effect at all upon her. The man had been welcomed
at her father's house, had been allowed there to be intimate
with her, and was now, as she was well aware, much dearer to
her than any other human being. Nor for all the Aunt Emmelines
in the world would she regard him otherwise than as her dearest
friend.
When she was alone she discussed the matter with herself. It
was repugnant to her that there should be any secret on the subject
between herself and her aunt after what had been said -- much
more that there should be any deceit. "Mr Hamel is not fit to
be acquainted with a lady who occupies the position of my daughter."
It was thus that her aunt had spoken. To this the proper answer
seemed to be -- seemed at least to Lucy -- "In that case, my
dear aunt, I cannot for a moment longer occupy the position of
your daughter, as I certainly am acquainted and shall remain
acquainted with Mr Hamel." But to such speech as this on her
own part there were two impediments. In the first place it would
imply that Mr Hamel was her lover -- for implying which Mr Hamel
had given her no authority; and then what should she immediately
do when she had thus obstinately declared herself to be unfit
for that daughter's position which she was supposed now to occupy?
With all her firmness of determination she could not bring herself
to tell her aunt that Mr Hamel was her lover. Not because it
was not as yet true. She would have been quite willing that her
aunt should know the exact truth, if the exact truth could be
explained. But how could she convey to such a one as Aunt Emmeline
the meaning of those words -- "Am I to lose you again?" How could
she make her aunt understand that she held herself to be absolutely
bound, as by a marriage vow, by such words as those -- words
in which there was no promise, even had they come from some fitting
suitor, but which would be regarded by Aunt Emmeline as being
simply impertinent coming as they did from such a one as Isadore
Hamel. It was quite out of the question to tell all that to Aunt
Emmeline, but yet it was necessary that something should be told.
She had been ordered to drop her acquaintance with Isadore, and
it was essential that she should declare that she would do nothing
of the kind. She would not recognise such obedience as a duty
on her part. The friendship had been created by her father, to
whom her earlier obedience had been due. It might be that, refusing
to render such obedience, her aunt and her uncle might tell her
that there could be no longer shelter for her in that house.
They could not cherish and foster a disobedient child. If it
must be so, it must. Though there should be no home left to her
in all the wide world she would not accept an order which should
separate her from the man she loved. She must simply tell her
aunt that she could not drop Mr Hamel's acquaintance -- because
Mr Hamel was a friend.
Early on the next morning she did so. "Are you aware", said Aunt
Emmeline, with a severe face, "that he is -- illegitimate?" Lucy
blushed, but made no answer. "Is he -- is he -- engaged to you?"
"No," said Lucy, sharply.
"Has he asked you to marry him?"
"No," said Lucy.
"Then what is it?" asked Lady Tringle, in a tone which was intended
to signify that as nothing of that kind had taken place such
a friendship could be a matter of no consequence.
"He was papa's friend."
"My dear, what can that matter? Your poor papa has gone, and
you are in my charge and your uncle's. Surely you cannot object
to choose your friends as we should wish. Mr Hamel is a gentleman
of whom we do not approve. You cannot have seen very much of
him, and it would be very easy for you, should he bow to you
again in the park, to let him see that you do not like it."
"But I do like it," said Lucy with energy.
"Lucy!"
"I do like to see Mr Hamel, and I feel almost sure that he will
come and call here now that he has seen me. Last winter he asked
me my address, and I gave him this house."
"When you were living with your Aunt Dosett?"
"Yes, I did, Aunt Emmeline. I thought Aunt Margaret would not
like him to come to Kingsbury Crescent, and, as Ayala was to
be here, I told him he might call at Queen's Gate."
Then Lady Tringle was really angry. It was not only that her
house should have been selected for so improper a use but that
Lucy should have shown a fear and a respect for Mrs Dosett which
had not been accorded to herself. It was shocking to her pride
that that should have appeared to be easy of achievement at Queen's
Gate which was too wicked to be attempted at Kingsbury Crescent.
And then the thing which had been done seemed in itself to her
to be so horrible! This girl, when living under the care of her
aunt, had made an appointment with an improper young man at the
house of another aunt! Any appointment made by a young lady with
a young man must, as she thought, be wrong. She began to be aghast
at the very nature of the girl who could do such a thing, and
on reflecting that that girl was at present under her charge
as an adopted daughter. "Lucy," she said, very impressively,
"there must be an end of this."
"There cannot be an end of it," said Lucy.
"Do you mean to say that he is to come here to this house whether
I and your uncle like it or not?"
"He will come," said Lucy; "I am sure he will come. Now he has
seen me he will come at once."
"Why should he do that if he is not your lover?"
"Because," said Lucy -- and then she paused; "because -- . It
is very hard to tell you, Aunt Emmeline."
"Why should he come so quickly?" demanded Aunt Emmeline again.
"Because -- . Though he has said nothing to me such as that you
mean," stammered out Lucy, determined to tell the whole truth,
"I believe that he will."
"And you?"
"If he did I should accept him."
"Has he any means?"
"I do not know."
"Have you any?"
"Certainly not."
"And you would consent to be his wife after what I've told you?"
"Yes," said Lucy, "I should."
"Then it must not be in this house. That is all. I will not have
him here on any pretence whatsoever."
"I thought not, Aunt Emmeline, and therefore I have told you."
"Do you mean that you will make an appointment with him elsewhere?"
"Certainly not. I have not in fact ever made an appointment with
him. I do not know his address. Till yesterday I thought that
he was in Rome. I never had a line from him in my life, and of
course have never written to him." Upon hearing all this Lady
Tringle sat in silence, not quite knowing how to carry on the
conversation. The condition of Lucy's mind was so strange to
her, that she felt herself to be incompetent to dictate. She
could only resolve that under no circumstances should the objectionable
man be allowed into her house. "Now, Aunt Emmeline," said Lucy,
"I have told you everything. Of course you have a right to order,
but I also have some right. You told me I was to drop Mr Hamel,
but I cannot drop him. If he comes in my way I certainly shall
not drop him. If he comes here I shall see him if I can. If you
and Uncle Tom choose to turn me out, of course you can do so."
"I shall tell your uncle all about it," said Aunt Emmeline, angrily,
"and then you will hear what he says." And so the conversation
was ended.
At that moment Sir Thomas was, of course, in the City managing
his millions, and as Lucy herself had suggested that Mr Hamel
might not improbably call on that very day, and as she was quite
determined that Mr Hamel should not enter the doors of the house
in Queen's Gate, it was necessary that steps should be taken
at once. Some hours afterwards Mr Hamel did call and asked for
Miss Dormer. The door was opened by a well-appointed footman,
who, with lugubrious face -- with a face which spoke much more
eloquently than his words -- declared that Miss Dormer was not
at home. In answer to further inquiries he went on to express
an opinion that Miss Dormer never would be at home -- from all
which it may be seen that Aunt Emmeline had taken strong measures
to carry out her purpose. Hamel, when he heard his fate thus
plainly spoken from the man's mouth, turned away, not doubting
its meaning. He had seen Lucy's face in the park, and had seen
also Lady Tringle's gesture after his greeting. That Lady Tringle
should not be disposed to receive him at her house was not matter
of surprise to him.
When Lucy went to bed that night she did not doubt that Mr Hamel
had called, and that he had been turned away from the door.
When the time came, all the Tringles, together with the Honourable
Mrs Traffick, started for Glenbogie. Aunt Emmeline had told Sir
Thomas all Lucy's sins, but Sir Thomas had not made so much of
them as his wife had expected. "It wouldn't be a bad thing to
have a husband for Lucy," said Sir Thomas.
"But the man hasn't got a sixpence."
"He has a profession."
"I don't know that he makes anything. And then think of his father!
He is -- illegitimate!" Sir Thomas seemed rather to sneer at
this. "And if you knew the way the old man lives in Rome! He
plays cards all Sunday!" Again Sir Thomas sneered. Sir Thomas
was fairly submissive to the conventionalities himself, but did
not think that they ought to stand in the way of a provision
for a young lady who had no provision of her own. "You wouldn't
wish to have him at Queen's Gate?" asked Lady Tringle.
"Certainly not, if he makes nothing by his profession. A good
deal, I think, depends upon that." Then nothing further was said,
but Lucy was not told her uncle's opinion on the matter, as had
been promised. When she went down to Glenbogie she only knew
that Mr Hamel was considered to be by far too black a sheep to
be admitted into her aunt's presence, and that she must regard
herself as separated from the man as far as any separation could
be effected by her present protectors. But if he would be true
to her, as to a girl whom he had a short time since so keenly
rejoiced in "finding again," she was quite sure that she could
be true to him.
On the day fixed, the 20th of August, Mr Houston arrived at Glenbogie,
with boots and stockings and ammunition, such as Tom had recommended
when interrogated on those matters by his sister, Gertrude. "I
travelled down with a man I think you know," he said to Lucy
-- "at any rate your sister does, because I saw him with her
at Rome." The man turned out to be Isadore Hamel. "I didn't like
to ask him whether he was coming here," said Frank Houston.
"No; he is not coming here," said Aunt Emmeline.
"Certainly not," said Gertrude, who was quite prepared to take
up the cudgels on her mother's behalf against Mr Hamel.
"He said something about another man he used to know at Rome,
before you came. He was a nephew of that Marchesa Baldoni."
"She was a lady we didn't like a bit too well," said Gertrude.
"A very stuck-up sort of person, who did all she could to spoil
Ayala," said Aunt Emmeline.
"Ayala has just been staying with her," said Lucy. "She has been
very kind to Ayala."
"We have nothing to do with that now," said Aunt Emmeline. "Ayala
can stay with whom she and her aunt pleases. Is this Mr Hamel,
whom you saw, a friend of the Marchesa's?"
"He seemed to be a friend of the Marchesa's nephew," continued
Houston -- "one Colonel Stubbs. We used to see him at Rome, and
a most curious man he is. His name is Jonathan, and I don't suppose
that any man was ever seen so red before. He is shooting somewhere,
and Hamel seems to be going to join him. I thought he might have
been coming here afterwards, as you all were in Rome together."
"Certainly he is not coming here," said Aunt Emmeline. "And as
for Colonel Stubbs, I never heard of him before."
A week of the time allotted to Frank Houston had gone before
he had repeated a word of his suit to Sir Thomas. But with Gertrude
every opportunity had been allowed him, and by the rest of the
family they had been regarded as though they were engaged. Mr
Traffick, who was now at Glenbogie, in accordance with the compact
made with him, did not at first approve of Frank Houston. He
had insinuated to Lady Tringle, and had said very plainly to
Augusta, that he regarded a young man, without any employment
and without any income, as being quite unfit to marry. "If he
had a seat in the House it would be quite a different thing,"
he had said to Augusta. But his wife had snubbed him; telling
him, almost in so many words, that if Gertrude was determined
to have her way in opposition to her father she certainly would
not be deterred by her brother-in-law. "It's nothing to me,"
Mr Traffick had then said; "the money won't come out of my pocket;
but when a man has nothing else to do he is sure to spend all
that he can lay his hands upon." After that, however, he withdrew
his opposition, and allowed it to be supposed that he was ready
to receive Frank Houston as his brother-in-law, should it be
so decided.
The time was running by both with Houston, the expectant son-in-law,
and with Mr Traffick, who had achieved his position, and both
were aware that no grace would be allowed to them beyond that
which had been promised. Frank had fully considered the matter,
and was quite resolved that it would be unmanly in him to run
after his cousin Imogene, in the Tyrol, before he had performed
his business. One day, therefore, after having returned from
the daily allowance of slaughter, he contrived to find Sir Thomas
in the solitude of his own room, and again began to act the part
of Allan-a-Dale. "I thought, Mr Houston," said Sir Thomas, "that
we had settled that matter before."
"Not quite," said Houston.
"I don't know why you should say so. I intended to be understood
as expressing my mind."
"But you have been good enough to ask me down here."
"I may ask a man to my house, I suppose, without intending to
give him my daughter's hand." Then he again asked the important
question, to which Allan- a-Dale's answer was so unreasonable
and so successful. "Have you an income on which to maintain my
daughter?"
"I cannot just say that I have, Sir Thomas," said Houston, apologetically.
"Then you mean to ask me to furnish you with an income."
"You can do as you please about that, Sir Thomas."
"You can hardly marry her without it."
"Well; no; not altogether. No doubt it is true that I should
not have proposed myself had I not thought that the young lady
would have something of her own."
"But she has nothing of her own," said Sir Thomas. And then that
interview was over.
"You won't throw us over, Lady Tringle?" Houston said to Gertrude's
mother that evening.
"Sir Thomas likes to have his own way," said Lady Tringle.
"Somebody got round him about Septimus Traffick."
"That was different," said Lady Tringle. "Mr Traffick is in Parliament,
and that gives him an employment. He is a son of Lord Boardotrade,
and some of these days he will be in office."
"Of course, you know that if Gertrude sticks to it she will have
her own way. When a girl sticks to it her father has to give
way. What does it matter to him whether I have any business or
not? The money would be the same in one case as the other, only
it does seem such an unnecessary trouble to have it put off."
All this Lady Tringle seemed to take in good part, and half acknowledged
that if Frank Houston were constant in the matter he would succeed
at last. Gertrude, when the time for his departure had come,
expressed herself as thoroughly disgusted by her father's sternness.
"It's all bosh," she said to her lover. "Who is Lord Boardotrade
that that should make a difference? I have as much right to please
myself as Augusta." But there was the stern fact that the money
had not been promised, and even Frank had not proposed to marry
the girl of his heart without the concomitant thousands.
Before he left Glenbogie, on the evening of his departure, he
wrote a second letter to Miss Docimer, as follows --
DEAR COUSIN IM,
Here I am at Glenbogie, and here I have been for a week, without
doing a stroke of work. The father still asks "of his house and
his home" and does not seem to be at all affected by my reference
to the romantic grandeur of my own peculiar residence. Perhaps
I may boast so far as to say that I have laughed on the lass
as successfully as did Allan-a-Dale. But what's the good of laughing
on a lass when one has got nothing to eat? Allan-a-Dale could
pick a pocket or cut a purse, accomplishments in which I am altogether
deficient. I suppose I shall succeed sooner or later, but when
I put my neck into the collar I had no idea that there would
be so much uphill work before me. It is all very well joking,
but it is not nice to be asked "of your house and your home"
by a gentleman who knows very well you've got none, and is conscious
of inhabiting three or four palaces himself. Such treatment must
be described as being decidedly vulgar. And then he must know
that it can be of no possible permanent use. The ladies are all
on my side, but I am told by Tringle mere that I am less acceptable
than old Traffick, who married the other girl, because I'm not
the son of Lord Boardotrade! Nothing astonishes me so much as
the bad taste of some people. Now, it must all be put off till
Christmas, and the cruel part is, that one doesn't see how I'm
to go on living.
"In the meantime I have a little time in which to amuse myself,
and I shall turn up in about three weeks at Merle Park. I wish
chiefly to beg that you will not dissuade me from what I see
clearly to be a duty. I know exactly your line of argument. Following
a girl for her money is, you will say, mercenary. So, as far
as I can see, is every transaction in the world by which men
live. The judges, the bishops, the poets, the Royal academicians,
and the Prime Ministers, are all mercenary -- as is also the
man who breaks stones for 2s. 1d. a day. How shall a man live
without being mercenary unless he be born to fortune? Are not
girls always mercenary? Will she marry me knowing that I have
nothing? Will you not marry someone whom you will probably like
much less simply because he will have something for you to eat
and drink? Of course I am mercenary, and I don't even pretend
to old Tringle that I am not so. I feel a little tired of this
special effort -- but if I were to abandon it I should simply
have to begin again elsewhere. I have sighted my stag, and I
must go on following him, trying to get on the right side of
the wind till I bring him down. It is not nice, but it is to
me manifestly my duty -- and I shall do it. Therefore, do not
let there be any blowing up. I hate to be scolded.
Yours always affectionately,
F. H.
Gertrude, when he was gone, did not take the matter quite so
quietly as he did, feeling that, as she had made up her mind,
and as all her world would know that she had made up her mind,
it behoved her to carry her purpose to its desired end. A girl
who is known to be engaged, but whose engagement is not allowed,
is always in a disagreeable plight.
"Mamma," she said, "I think that papa is not treating me well."
"My dear, your papa has always had his own way."
"That is all very well -- but why am I to be worse used than
Augusta? It turns out now that Mr Traffick has not got a shilling
of his own."
"Your papa likes his being in Parliament."
"All the girls can't marry Members of Parliament."
"And he likes his being the son of Lord Boardotrade."
"Lord Boardotrade! I call that very mean: Mr Houston is a gentleman,
and the Buncombe property has been for ever so many hundreds
of years in the family. I think more of Frank as to birth and
all that than I do of Lord Boardotrade and his mushroom peerage.
Can't you tell papa that I mean to marry Mr Houston at last,
and that he is making very little of me to let me be talked about
as I shall be?"
"I don't think I can, Gertrude."
"Then I shall. What would he say if I were to run away with Frank?"
"I don't think Frank Houston would do that."
"He would if I told him -- in a moment." There Miss Tringle was
probably in error. "And unless papa consents I shall tell him.
I am not going to be made miserable for ever."
This was at Glenbogie, in Inverness-shire, on the south-eastern
side of Loch Ness, where Sir Thomas Tringle possessed a beautiful
mansion, with a deer- forest, and a waterfall of his own, and
any amount of moors which the minds of sportsmen could conceive.
Nothing in Scotland could be more excellent, unless there might
be some truth in the remarks of those who said that the grouse
were scarce, and that the deer were almost nonexistent. On the
other side of the lake, four miles up from the gates, on the
edge of a ravine, down which rushed a little stream called the
Caller, was an inconvenient rickety cottage, built piecemeal
at two or three different times, called Drumcaller. From one
room you went into another, and from that into a third. To get
from the sitting-room, which was called the parlour, into another
which was called the den, you had to pass through the kitchen,
or else to make communication by a covered passage out of doors
which seemed to hang over the margin of the ravine. Pine trees
enveloped the place. Looking at the house from the outside anyone
would declare it to be wet through. It certainly could not with
truth be described as a comfortable family residence. But you
might, perhaps, travel through all Scotland without finding a
more beautifully romantic spot in which to reside. From that
passage, which seemed to totter suspended over the rocks, whence
the tumbling rushing waters could always be heard like music
close at hand, the view down over the little twisting river was
such as filled the mind with a conviction of realised poetry.
Behind the house across the little garden there was a high rock
where a little path had been formed, from which could be seen
the whole valley of the Caller and the broad shining expanse
of the lake beyond. Those who knew the cottage of Drumcaller
were apt to say that no man in Scotland had a more picturesque
abode, or one more inconvenient. Even bread had to be carried
up from Callerfoot, as was called the little village down on
the lake side, and other provisions, such even as meat, had to
be fetched twenty miles, from the town of Inverness.
A few days after the departure of Houston from Glenbogie two
men were seated with pipes in their mouths on the landing outside
the room called the den to which the passage from the parlour
ran. Here a square platform had been constructed capable of containing
two armchairs, and here the owner of the cottage was accustomed
to sit, when he was disposed, as he called it, to loaf away his
time at Drumcaller. This man was Colonel Jonathan Stubbs, and
his companion at the present moment was Isadore Hamel.
"I never knew them in Rome," said the Colonel. "I never even
saw Ayala there, though she was so much at my aunt's house. I
was in Sicily part of the time, and did not get back till they
had all quarrelled. I did know the nephew, who was a good-natured
but a vulgar young man. They are vulgar people, I should say."
"You could hardly have found Ayala vulgar?" asked Hamel.
"Indeed, no. But uncles and aunts and nephews and nieces are
not at all bound to run together. Ayala is the daintiest little
darling I ever saw."
"I knew their father and mother, and certainly no one would have
called them vulgar."
"Sisters when they marry of course go off according to their
husbands, and the children follow. In this case one sister became
Tringlish after Sir Tringle, and the other Dormerish, after that
most improvident of human beings, your late friend the artist.
I don't suppose any amount of experience will teach Ayala how
many shillings there are in a pound. No doubt the Honourable
Mrs Traffick knows all about it."
"I don't think a girl is much improved by knowing how many shillings
there are in a pound," said Hamel.
"It is useful sometimes."
"So it might be to kill a sheep and skin it, or to milk a cow
and make cheese; but here, as in other things, one acquirement
will drive out others. A woman, if she cannot be beautiful, should
at any rate be graceful, and if she cannot soar to poetry, should
at least be soft and unworldly."
"That's all very well in its way, but I go in for roasting, baking,
and boiling. I can bake and I can brew;I can make an Irish stew;Wash
a shirt and iron it too.
That's the sort of girl I mean to go in for if ever I marry;
and when you've got six children and a small income it's apt
to turn out better than grace and poetry."
"A little of both perhaps," said Hamel.
"Well, yes; I don't mind a little Byron now and again, so there
is no nonsense. As to Glenbogie, it's right over there across
the lake. You can get a boat at Callerfoot, and a fellow to take
you across and wait for you won't cost you more than three half-crowns.
I suppose Glenbogie is as far from the lake on that side as my
cottage is on this. How you'll get up except by walking I cannot
say, unless you will write a note to Sir Thomas and ask him to
send a horse down for you."
"Sir Thomas would not accommodate me."
"You think he will frown if you come after his niece?"
"I simply want to call on Miss Dormer", said Hamel, blushing,
"because her father was always kind to me."
"I don't mean to ask any questions," said the Colonel.
"It is just so as I say. I do not like being in the neighbourhood
without calling on Miss Dormer."
"I daresay not."
"But I doubt whether Sir Thomas or Lady Tringle would be at all
inclined to make me welcome. As to the distance, I can walk that
easily enough, and if the door is slammed in my face I can walk
back again."
Thus it was resolved that early on the following morning after
breakfast Isadore Hamel should go across the lake and make his
way up to Glenbogie.
On the following morning, the morning of Monday, 2nd September,
Isadore Hamel started on his journey. He had thought much about
the journey before he made it. No doubt the door had been slammed
in his face in London. He felt quite conscious of that, and conscious
also that a man should not renew his attempt to enter a door
when it has been once slammed in his face. But he understood
the circumstances nearly as they had happened -- except that
he was not aware how far the door had been slammed by Lady Tringle
without any concurrence on the part of Sir Thomas. But the door
had, at any rate, not been slammed by Lucy. The only person he
had really wished to see within that house had been Lucy Dormer;
and he had hitherto no reason for supposing that she would be
unwilling to receive him. Her face had been sweet and gracious
when she saw him in the Park. Was he to deny himself all hope
of any future intercourse with her because Lady Tringle had chosen
to despise him? He must make some attempt. It was more than probable,
no doubt, that this attempt would be futile. The servant at Glenbogie
would probably be as well instructed as the servant in Queen's
Gate. But still a man has to go on and do something, if he means
to do anything. There could be no good in sitting up at Drumcaller,
at one side of the lake, and thinking of Lucy Dormer far away,
at the other side. He had not at all made up his mind that he
would ask Lucy to be his wife. His professional income was still
poor, and she, as he was aware, had nothing. But he felt it to
be incumbent upon him to get nearer to her if it were possible,
and to say something to her if the privilege of speech should
be accorded to him.
He walked down to Callerfoot, refusing the loan of the Colonel's
pony carriage, and thence had himself carried across the lake
in a hired boat to a place called Sandy's Quay. That, he was
assured, was the spot on the other side from whence the nearest
road would be found to Glenbogie. But nobody on the Callerfoot
side could tell him what would be the distance. At Sandy's Quay
he was assured that it was twelve miles to Glenbogie House; but
he soon found that the man who told him had a pony for hire.
"Ye'll nae get there under twalve mile -- or maybe saxteen, if
ye attampt to walk up the glin." So said the owner of the pony.
But milder information came to him speedily. A little boy would
show him the way up the glen for sixpence, and engage to bring
him to the house in an hour and a half. So he started with the
little boy, and after a hot scramble for about two hours he found
himself within the demesne. Poking their way up through thick
bushes from a ravine, they showed their two heads -- first the
boy and then the sculptor -- close by the side of the private
road -- just as Sir Thomas was passing, mounted on his cob. "It's
his ain sell," said the boy, dropping his head again amongst
the bushes.
Hamel, when he had made good his footing, had first to turn round
so that the lad might not lose his wages. A dirty little hand
came up for the sixpence, but the head never appeared again.
It was well known in the neighbourhood -- especially at Sandy's
Quay, where boats were used to land -- that Sir Thomas was not
partial to visitors who made their way into Glenbogie by any
but the authorised road. While Hamel was paying his debt, he
stood still on his steed waiting to see who might be the trespasser.
"That's not a high road," said Sir Thomas, as the young man approached
him. As the last quarter of an hour from the bottom of the ravine
had been occupied in very stiff climbing among the rocks the
information conveyed appeared to Hamel to have been almost unnecessary.
"Your way up to the house, if you are going there, would have
been through the lodge down there."
"Perhaps you are Sir Thomas Tringle," said Hamel.
"That is my name."
"Then I have to ask your pardon for my mode of ingress. I am
going up to the house; but having crossed the lake from Callerfoot
I did not know my way on this side, and so I have clambered up
the ravine." Sir Thomas bowed, and then waited for further tidings.
"I believe Miss Dormer is at the house?"
"My niece is there."
"My name is Hamel -- Isadore Hamel. I am a sculptor, and used
to be acquainted with her father. I have had great kindness from
the whole family, and so I was going to call upon her. If you
do not object, I will go on to the house."
Sir Thomas sat upon his horse speechless for a minute. He had
to consider whether he did not object or not. He was well aware
that his wife objected -- aware also that he had declined to
coincide with his wife's objection when it had been pressed upon
him. Why should not his niece have the advantage of a lover,
if a proper sort of a lover came in her way? As to the father's
morals or the son's birth, those matters to Sir Thomas were nothing.
The young man, he was told, was good at making busts. Would anyone
buy the busts when they were made? That was the question. His
wife would certainly be prejudiced -- would think it necessary
to reject for Lucy any suitor she would reject for her own girls.
And then, as Sir Thomas felt, she had not shown great judgment
in selecting suitors for her own girls. "Oh, Mr Hamel, are you?"
he said at last.
"Isadore Hamel."
"You called at Queen's Gate once, not long ago?"
"I did," said Hamel; "but saw no one."
"No, you didn't; I heard that. Well, you can go on to the house
if you like, but you had better ask for Lady Tringle. After coming
over from Callerfoot you'll want some lunch. Stop a moment. I
don't mind if I ride back with you." And so the two started towards
the house, and Hamel listened whilst Sir Thomas expatiated on
the beauties of Glenbogie.
They had passed through one gate and were approaching another,
when, away among the trees, there was a young lady seen walking
alone. "There is Miss Dormer," said Hamel; "I suppose I may join
her?" Sir Thomas could not quite make up his mind whether the
meeting was to be allowed or not, but he could not bring himself
at the spur of the moment to refuse his sanction. So Hamel made
his way across to Lucy, while Sir Thomas rode on alone to the
house.
Lucy had seen her uncle on the cob, and, being accustomed to
see him on the cob, knew of course who he was. She had also seen
another man with him, but not in the least expecting that Hamel
was in those parts, had never dreamt that he was her uncle's
companion. It was not till Hamel was near to her that she understood
that the man was coming to join herself; and then, when she did
recognise the man, she was lost in amazement. "You hardly expected
to see me here?" said he.
"Indeed; no."
"Nor did I expect that I should find you in this way."
"My uncle knows it is you?" asked Lucy.
"Oh, yes. I met him as I came up from the ravine, and he has
asked me to go on to the house to lunch." Then there was silence
for a few moments as they walked on together. "I hope you do
not think that I am persecuting you in making my way over here."
"Oh, no; not persecuting!" Lucy when she heard the sound of what
she herself had said, was angry with herself, feeling that she
had almost declared him guilty of some wrong in having come thither.
"Of course I am glad to see you", she added, "for papa's sake,
but I'm afraid -- "
"Afraid of what, Miss Dormer?"
She looked him full in the face as she answered him, collecting
her courage to make the declaration which seemed to be necessary.
"My Aunt Emmeline does not want you to come."
"Why should she not want me?"
"That I cannot tell. Perhaps if I did know I should not tell.
But it is so. You called at Queen's Gate, and I know that you
were not admitted, though I was at home. Of course, Aunt Emmeline
has a right to choose who shall come. It is not as though I had
a house of my own."
"But Sir Thomas asked me in."
"Then you had better go in. After what Aunt Emmeline said, I
do not think that you ought to remain with me."
"Your uncle knows I am with you," said Hamel. Then they walked
on towards the house together in silence for a while. "Do you
mean to say", he continued, "that because your aunt objects you
are never to see me again?"
"I hope I shall see you again. You were papa's friend, and I
should be so very sorry not to see you again."
"I suppose", he said, slowly, "I can never be more than your
papa's friend."
"You are mine also."
"I would be more than that." Then he paused as if waiting for
a reply, but she of course had none to make. "I would be so much
more than that, Lucy." Still she had no answer to give him. But
there comes a time when no answer is as excellent eloquence as
any words that can be spoken. Hamel, who had probably not thought
much of this, was nevertheless at once informed by his instincts
that it was so. "Oh, Lucy," he said, "if you can love me say
so."
"Mr Hamel," she whispered.
"Lucy."
"Mr Hamel, I told you about Aunt Emmeline. She will not allow
it. I ought not to have let you speak to me like this, while
I am staying here."
"But your uncle knows I am with you."
"My aunt does not know. We must go to the house. She expressly
desired that I would not speak to you."
"And you will obey her -- always?"
"No; not always. I did not say that I should obey her always.
Some day, perhaps, I shall do as I think fit myself."
"And then you will speak to me?"
"Then I will speak to you," she said.
"And love me?"
"And love you," she answered, again looking him full in the face.
"But now pray, pray let us go on." For he had stopped her awhile
amidst the trees, and had put out his hand as though to take
hers, and had opened his arms as though he would embrace her.
But she passed on quickly, and hardly answered his further questions
till they found themselves together in the hall of the house.
Then they met Lady Tringle, who was just passing into the room
where the lunch was laid, and following her were Augusta, Gertrude,
and the Honourable Septimus Traffick. For, though Frank Houston
had found himself compelled to go at the day named, the Honourable
Septimus had contrived to squeeze out another week. Augusta was
indeed still not without hope that the paternal hospitality of
Glenbogie might be prolonged till dear Merle Park should once
again open her portals. Sir Thomas had already passed into the
dining-room, having in a gruff voice informed his wife that he
had invited Mr Hamel to come in to lunch. "Mr Hamel!" she had
exclaimed. "Yes, Mr Hamel. I could not see the man starving when
he had come all this way. I don't know anything against him."
Then he had turned away, and had gone into the dining-room, and
was now standing with his back to the empty fireplace, determined
to take Mr Hamel's part if any want of courtesy were shown to
him.
It certainly was hard upon Lady Tringle. She frowned and was
going to walk on without any acknowledgment, when Lucy timidly
went through a form of introduction. "Aunt Emmeline, this is
Mr Hamel. Uncle Tom met him somewhere in the grounds and has
asked him to come to luncheon." Then Lady Tringle curtseyed and
made a bow. The curtsey and the bow together were sufficient
to have crushed the heart of any young man who had not been comforted
and exalted by such words as Isadore had heard from Lucy's lips
not five minutes since. "And love you," she had said. After that
Lady Tringle might curtsey and bow as she would, and he could
still live uncrushed. After the curtsey and the bow Lady Tringle
passed on. Lucy fell into the rank behind Gertrude; and then
Hamel afterwards took his place behind the Honourable Septimus.
"If you will sit there, Mr Hamel," said Lady Tringle, pointing
to a chair, across the table, obliquely, at the greatest possible
distance from that occupied by Lucy. There he was stationed between
Mr Traffick and Sir Thomas. But now, in his present frame of
mind, his position at the table made very little difference to
him.
The lunch was eaten in grim silence. Sir Thomas was not a man
profuse with conversation at his meals, and at this moment was
ill-inclined for any words except what he might use in scolding
his wife for being uncivil to his guest. Lady Tringle sat with
her head erect, hardly opening her mouth sufficiently to allow
the food to enter it. It was her purpose to show her displeasure
at Mr Hamel, and she showed it. Augusta took her mother's part,
thoroughly despising the two Dormer girls and any lover that
they might have. Poor Gertrude had on that morning been violently
persecuted by a lecture as to Frank Houston's impecuniosity.
Lucy of course would not speak. The Honourable Septimus was anxious
chiefly about his lunch -- somewhat anxious also to offend neither
the master nor the mistress of Merle Park. Hamel made one or
two little efforts to extract answers from Sir Thomas, but soon
found that Sir Thomas would prefer to be left in silence. What
did it signify to him? He had done all that he wanted, and much
more than he had expected.
The rising and getting away from luncheon is always a difficulty
-- so great a difficulty when there are guests that lunch should
never be much a company festival. There is no provision for leaving
the table as there is at dinner. But on this occasion Lady Tringle
extemporised provision the first moment in which they had all
ceased to eat. "Mr Hamel," she said very loudly, "would you like
some cheese?" Mr Hamel, with a little start, declared that he
wanted no cheese. "Then, my dears, I think we will go into my
room. Lucy, will you come with me?" Upon this the four ladies
all went out in procession, but her ladyship was careful that
Lucy should go first so that there might be no possibility of
escape. Augusta and Gertrude followed her. The minds of all the
four were somewhat perturbed; but among the four Lucy's heart
was by far the lightest.
"Are you staying over with Stubbs at that cottage?" asked the
Honourable Septimus. "A very queer fellow is Stubbs."
"A very good fellow," said Hamel.
"I dare say. He hasn't got any shooting?"
"I think not."
"Not a head. Glentower wouldn't let an acre of shooting over
there for any money." This was the Earl of Glentower, to whom
belonged an enormous tract of country on the other side of the
lake. "What on earth does he do with himself stuck up on the
top of those rocks?"
"He does shoot sometimes, I believe, when Lord Glentower is there."
"That's a poor kind of fun, waiting to be asked for a day," said
the Honourable Septimus, who rarely waited for anything till
he was asked. "Does he get any fishing?"
"He catches a few trout sometimes in the tarns above. But I fancy
that Stubbs isn't much devoted to shooting and fishing."
"Then what the d -- does he do with himself in such a country
as this?" Hamel shrugged his shoulders, not caring to say that
what with walking, what with reading and writing, his friend
could be as happy as the day was long in such a place as Drumcaller.
"Is he a Liberal?"
"A what?" asked Hamel. "Oh, a Liberal? Upon my word I don't know
what he is. He is chiefly given to poetry, tobacco, and military
matters." Then the Honourable Septimus turned up his nose in
disgust, and ceased his cross-examination as to the character
and pursuits of Colonel Jonathan Stubbs.
"Sir Thomas, I am very much obliged to you for your kindness,"
said Hamel, getting up suddenly. "As it is a long way over to
Drumcaller I think I will make a start. I know my way down the
Glen and should be sure to miss it by any other route. Perhaps
you'll let me go back as I came." Sir Thomas offered him the
loan of a horse, but this was refused, and Hamel started on his
return journey across the lake.
When he had gone a few steps from the portal he turned to look
at the house which contained one whom he now regarded as belonging
exclusively to himself,; perhaps he thought that he might catch
some final view of Lucy; or, not quite thinking it, fancied that
some such chance might at least be possible; but he saw nothing
but the uninteresting facade of the grand mansion. Lucy was employed
quite otherwise. She was listening to a lecture in which her
aunt was describing to her how very badly Mr Hamel had behaved
in obtruding himself on the shades of Glenbogie. The lecture
was somewhat long, as Aunt Emmeline found it necessary to repeat
all the arguments which she had before used as to the miscreant's
birth, as to his want of adequate means, and as to the general
iniquities of the miscreant's father. All this she repeated more
than once with an energy that was quite unusual to her. The flood
of her eloquence was so great that Lucy found no moment for an
interposing word till all these evils had been denunciated twice
and thrice. But then she spoke. "Aunt Emmeline," she said, "I
am engaged to Mr Hamel now."
"What!"
"He has asked me to be his wife and I have promised."
"And that after all that I had said to you!"
"Aunt Emmeline, I told you that I should not drop him. I did
not bid him come here. Uncle Tom brought him. When I saw him
I would have avoided him if I could. I told him he ought not
to be here because you did not wish it; and then he answered
that my uncle knew that he was with me. Of course when he told
me that he -- loved me, I could not make him any other answer."
Then Aunt Emmeline expressed the magnitude of her indignation
simply by silence, and Lucy was left to think of her lover in
solitude.
"And how have you fared on your day's journey?" said the Colonel,
when Hamel found him still seated on the platform with a book
in his hand.
"Much better than I thought. Sir Thomas gave me luncheon."
"And the young lady?"
"The young lady was gracious also; but I am afraid that I cannot
carry my praises of the family at Glenbogie any further. The
three Tringle ladies looked at me as I was sitting at table as
though I certainly had no business in their august society."
Before that evening was over -- or in the course of the night,
it might be better said, as the two men sat up late with their
pipes -- Hamel told his friend the Colonel exactly what had taken
place that morning over at Glenbogie. "You went for the purpose,
of course?" asked the Colonel.
"For an off chance."
"I know that well enough. I never heard of a man's walking twelve
miles to call upon a young lady merely because he knew her father;
and when there was to be a second call within a few weeks, the
first having not been taken in very good part by the young lady's
friends, my inquiring mind told me that there was something more
than old family friendship."
"Your inquiring mind saw into the truth."
"And now looks forward to further events. Can she bake and can
she brew?"
"I do not doubt that she could if she tried."
"And can she wash a shirt for a man? Don't suppose, my dear fellow,
that I intend to say that your wife will have to wash yours.
Washing a shirt, as read in the poem from which I am quoting,
is presumed to be simply emblematic of household duties in general."
"I take all you say in good part -- as coming from a friend."
"I regard matrimony", said the Colonel, "as being altogether
the happiest state of life for a man -- unless to be engaged
to some lovely creature, in whom one can have perfect confidence,
may be a thought happier. One can enjoy all the ecstatic mental
reflection, all the delights of conceit which come from being
loved, that feeling of superiority to all the world around which
illumines the bosom of the favoured lover, without having to
put one's hand into one's pocket, or having one's pipe put out
either morally or physically. The next to this is matrimony itself,
which is the only remedy for that consciousness of disreputable
debauchery, a savour of which always clings, more or less strongly,
to unmarried men in our rank of life. The chimes must be heard
at midnight, let a young man be ever so well given to the proprieties,
and he must have just a touch of the swingebuckler about him,
or he will seem to himself to be deficient in virility. There
is no getting out of it until a man marry. But then -- "
"Well; then?"
"Do you know the man whose long-preserved hat is always brushed
carefully, whose coat is the pattern of neatness, but still a
little threadbare when you look at it -- in the colour of whose
cheek there is still some touch of juvenility, but whose step
is ever heavy and whose brow is always sad? The seriousness of
life has pressed the smiles out of him. He has learned hardly
to want anything for himself but outward decency and the common
necessaries of life. Such little personal indulgences as are
common to you and to me are as strange to him as ortolans or
diamonds."
"I do not think I do know him."
"I do -- well. I have seen him in the regiment, I have met him
on the steps of a public office, I have watched him as he entered
his parsonage house. You shall find him coming out of a lawyer's
office, where he has sat for the last nine hours, having supported
nature with two penny biscuits. He has always those few thin
hairs over his forehead, he has always that well-brushed hat,
he has always that load of care on his brow. He is generally
thinking whether he shall endeavour to extend his credit with
the butcher, or resolve that the supply of meat may be again
curtailed without injury to the health of his five daughters."
"That is an ugly picture."
"But is it true?"
"In some cases, of course, it is."
"And yet not ugly all round," said the meditative Colonel, who
had just replenished his pipe. "There are, on the other side,
the five daughters, and the partner of this load of cares. He
knows it is well to have the five daughters, rather than to live
with plenty of beef and mutton -- even with the ortolans if you
will -- and with no one to care whether his body may be racked
in this world or his spirit in the next. I do not say whether
the balance of good or evil be on one side or the other; but
when a man is going to do a thing he should know what it is he
is going to do."
"The reading of all this," said Hamel, "is, that if I succeed
in marrying Miss Dormer I must have thin locks, and a bad hat,
and a butcher's bill."
"Other men do."
"Some, instead, have balances at their bankers, and die worth
thirty, forty, or fifty thousand pounds, to the great consolation
of the five daughters."
"Or a hundred thousand pounds! There is, of course, no end to
the amount of thousands which a successful professional man may
accumulate. You may be the man; but the question is, whether
you should not have reasonable ground to suppose yourself the
man, before you encumber yourself with the five daughters."
"It seems to me," said Hamel, "that the need of such assurance
is cowardly."
"That is just the question which I am always debating with myself.
I also want to rid myself of that swingebuckler flavour. I feel
that for me, like Adam, it is not good that I should be alone.
I would fain ask the first girl, that I could love well enough
to wish to make myself one with her, to be my wife, regardless
of hats, butchers, and daughters. It is a plucky and a fine thing
for a man to feel that he can make his back broad enough for
all burdens. But yet what is the good of thinking that you can
carry a sack of wheat when you are sure that you have not, in
truth, strength to raise it from the ground?"
"Strength will come," said Hamel.
"Yes, and the bad hat. And, worse than the bad hat, the soiled
gown; and perhaps with the soiled gown the altered heart -- and
perhaps with the altered heart an absence of all that tenderness
which it is a woman's special right to expect from a man."
"I should have thought you would have been the last to be so
self-diffident."
"To be so thoughtful, you mean," said the Colonel. "I am unattached
now, and having had no special duty for the last three months
I have given myself over to thinking in a nasty morbid manner.
It comes, I daresay, partly from tobacco. But there is comfort
in this -- that no such reflections falling out of one man's
mouth ever had the slightest effect in influencing another man's
conduct."
Hamel had told his friend with great triumph of his engagement
with Lucy Dormer, but the friend did not return the confidence
by informing the sculptor that during the whole of this conversation,
and for many days previous to it, his mind had been concerned
with the image of Lucy's sister. He was aware that Ayala had
been, as it were, turned out from her rich uncle's house, and
given over to the comparative poverty of Kingsbury Crescent.
He himself, at the present moment, was possessed of what might
be considered a comfortable income for a bachelor. He had been
accustomed to live almost more than comfortably; but, having
so lived, was aware of himself that he had not adapted himself
for straitened circumstances. In spite of that advice of his
as to the brewing, baking, and washing capabilities of a female
candidate for marriage, he knew himself well enough to be aware
that a wife red with a face from a kitchen fire would be distasteful
to him. He had often told himself that to look for a woman with
money would be still more distasteful. Therefore he had thought
that for the present, at least, it would be well for him to remain
as he was. But now he had come across Ayala, and though in the
pursuance of his philosophy he had assured himself that Ayala
should be nothing to him, still he found himself so often reverting
to this resolution that Ayala, instead of being nothing, was
very much indeed to him.
Three days after this Hamel was preparing himself for his departure
immediately after breakfast. "What a beast you are to go", said
the Colonel, "when there can be no possible reason for your going."
"The five daughters and the bad hat make it necessary that a
fellow should do a little work sometimes."
"Why can't you make your images down here?"
"With you for a model, and mud out of the Caller for clay."
"I shouldn't have the slightest objection. In your art you cannot
perpetuate the atrocity of my colour, as the fellow did who painted
my portrait last winter. If you will go, go, and make busts at
unheard-of prices, so that the five daughters may live for ever
on the fat of the land. Can I do any good for you by going over
to Glenbogie?"
"If you could snub that Mr Traffick, who is of all men the most
atrocious."
"The power doesn't exist," said the Colonel, "which could snub
the Honourable Septimus. That man is possessed of a strength
which I thoroughly envy -- which is perhaps more enviable than
any other gift the gods can give. Words cannot penetrate that
skin of his. Satire flows off him like water from a duck. Ridicule
does not touch him. The fellest abuse does not succeed in inflicting
the slightest wound. He has learnt the great secret that a man
cannot be cut who will not be cut. As it is worth no man's while
to protract an enmity with such a one as he, he suffers from
no prolonged enmities. He walks unassailable by any darts, and
is, I should say, the happiest man in London."
"Then I fear you can do nothing for me at Glenbogie. To mollify
Aunt Emmeline would, I fear, be beyond your power. Sir Thomas,
as far as I can see, does not require much mollifying."
"Sir Thomas might give the young woman a thousand or two."
"That is not the way in which I desire to keep a good hat on
my head," said Hamel, as he seated himself in the little carriage
which was to take him down to Callerfoot.
The Colonel remained at Drumcaller till the end of September,
when his presence was required at Aldershot, during which time
he shot a good deal, in obedience to the good-natured behests
of Lord Glentower, and in spite of the up-turned nose of Mr Traffick.
He read much, and smoked much, so that as to the passing of his
time there was not need to pity him, and he consumed a portion
of his spare hours in a correspondence with his aunt, the Marchesa,
and with his cousin Nina. One of his letters from each shall
be given, and also one of the letters written to each in reply.
Nina to her cousin the Colonel
MY DEAR JONATHAN,
Lady Albury says that you ought to be here, and so you ought.
It is ever so nice. There is a Mr Ponsonby here, and he and I
can beat any other couple at lawn tennis. There is an awning
over the ground which is such a lounge. Playing lawn tennis with
a parasol as those Melcombe girls did is stupid. They were here,
but have gone. One I am quite sure was over head and ears in
love with Mr Ponsonby. These sort of things are always all on
one side, you know. He isn't very much of a man, but he does
play lawn tennis divinely. Take it altogether, I don't think
there is anything out to beat lawn tennis. I don't know about
hunting -- and I don't suppose I ever shall.
We tried to have Ayala here, but I fear it will not come off.
Lady Albury was good-natured, but at last she did not quite like
writing to Mrs Dosett. So mamma wrote but the lady's answer was
very stiff. She thought it better for Ayala to remain among her
own friends. Poor Ayala! It is clear that a knight will be wanted
to go in armour, and get her out of prison. I will leave it to
you to say who must be the knight.
I hope you will come for a day or two before you go to Aldershot.
We stay till the 1st of October. You will be a beast if you don't.
Lady Albury says she never means to ask you again. "Oh, Stubbs!"
said Sir Harry; "Stubbs is one of those fellows who never come
if they're asked." Of course we all sat upon him. Then he declared
that you were the dearest friend he had in the world, but that
he never dared to dream that you would ever come to Stalham again.
Perhaps if we can hit it off at last with Ayala, then you would
come. Mamma means to try again.
Your affectionate cousin,
NINA
The Marchesa Baldoni to her nephew, Colonel Stubbs
MY DEAR JONATHAN,
I did my best for my protegee, but I am afraid it will not succeed.
Her aunt Mrs Dosett seems to think that, as Ayala is fated to
live with her, Ayala had better take her fate as she finds it.
The meaning of that is, that if a girl is doomed to have a dull
life she had better not begin it with a little pleasure. There
is a good deal to be said for the argument, but if I were the
girl I should like to begin with the pleasure and take my chance
for the reaction. I should perhaps be vain enough to think that
during the preliminary course I might solve all the difficulty
by my beaux yeux. I saw Mrs Dosett once, and now I have had a
letter from her. Upon the whole, I am inclined to pity poor Ayala.
We are very happy here. The Marchese has gone to Como to look
after some property he has there. Do not be ill-natured enough
to say that the two things go together -- but in truth he is
never comfortable out of Italy. He had a slice of red meat put
before him the other day, and that decided him to start at once.
On the first of October we go back to London, and shall remain
till the end of November. They have asked Nina to come again
in November in order that she may see a hunt. I know that means
that she will try to jump over something, and have her leg broken.
You must be here and not allow it. If she does come here I shall
perhaps go down to Brighton for a fortnight.
Yes -- I do think Ayala Dormer is a very pretty girl, and I do
think, also, that she is clever. I quite agree that she is ladylike.
But I do not therefore think that she is just such a girl as
such a man as Colonel Jonathan Stubbs ought to marry. She is
one of those human beings who seem to have been removed out of
this world and brought up in another. Though she knows ever so
much that nobody else knows, she is ignorant of ever so much
that everybody ought to know. Wandering through a grove, or seated
by a brook, or shivering with you on the top of a mountain, she
would be charming. I doubt whether she would be equally good
at the top of your table, or looking after your children, or
keeping the week's accounts. She would tease you with poetry,
and not even pretend to be instructed when you told her how an
army ought to be moved. I say nothing as to the fact that she
hasn't got a penny, though you are just in that position which
makes it necessary for a man to get some money with his wife.
I therefore am altogether indisposed to any matrimonial outlook
in that direction.
Your affectionate aunt,
BEATRICE BALDONI
Colonel Stubbs to his cousin Nina
DEAR NINA,
Lady Albury is wrong; I ought not to be at Stalham. What should
I do at Stalham at this time of year, who never shoot partridges,
and what would be the use of attempting lawn tennis when I know
I should be cut out by Mr Ponsonby? If that day in November is
to come off then I'll come and coach you across the country.
You tell Sir Harry that I say so, and that I will bring three
horses for one week. I think it very hard about poor Ayala Dormer,
but what can any knight do in such a case? When a young lady
is handed over to the custody of an uncle or an aunt, she becomes
that uncle's and aunt's individual property. Mrs Dosett may be
the most noxious dragon that ever was created for the mortification
and general misery of an imprisoned damsel, but still she is
omnipotent. The only knight who can be of any service is one
who will go with a ring in his hand, and absolutely carry the
prisoner away by force of the marriage service. Your unfortunate
cousin is so exclusively devoted to the duty of fighting his
country's battles that he has not even time to think of a step
so momentous as that.
Poor Ayala! Do not be stupid enough to accuse me of pitying her
because I cannot be the knight to release her; but I cannot but
think how happy she would be at Stalham, struggling to beat you,
and Mr Ponsonby at lawn tennis, and then risking a cropper when
the happy days of November should come round.
Your loving cousin,
J. S.
Colonel Stubbs to the Marchesa Baldoni
MY DEAR AUNT,
Your letter is worthy of the Queen of Sheba, if, as was no doubt
the case, she corresponded with King Solomon. As for Ayala's
fate, if it be her fate to live with Mrs Dosett, she can only
submit to it. You cannot carry her over to Italy, nor would the
Marchese allow her to divide his Italian good things with Nina.
Poor little bird! She had her chance of living amidst diamonds
and bank-notes, with the Tringle millionaires, but threw it away
after some fashion that I do not understand. No doubt she was
a fool, but I cannot but like her the better for it. I hardly
think that a fortnight at Stalham, with all Sir Harry's luxuries
around her, would do her much service.
As for myself and the top of my table, and the future companion
who is to be doomed to listen to my military lucubrations, I
am altogether inclined to agree with you, seeing that you write
in a pure spirit of worldly good sense. No doubt the Queen of
Sheba gave advice of the same sort to King Solomon. I never knew
a woman to speak confidentially of matrimony otherwise than as
a matter of pounds, shillings, and pence. In counsels so given,
no word of love has ever been known to creep in. Why should it,
seeing that love cannot put a leg of mutton into the pot? Don't
imagine that I say this in a spirit either of censure or satire.
Your ideas are my own, and should I ever marry I shall do so
in strict accordance with your tenets, thinking altogether of
the weekly accounts, and determined to eschew any sitting by
the sides of brooks.
I have told Nina about my plans. I will be at Stalham in November
to see that she does not break her neck.
Perhaps Mrs Dosett had some just cause for refusing her sanction
for the proposed visit to Albury. If Fate did require that Ayala
should live permanently in Kingsbury Crescent, the gaiety of
a very gay house, and the wealth of a very wealthy house, would
hardly be good preparation for such a life. Up to the time of
her going to the Marchesa in Brook Street, Ayala had certainly
done her best to suit herself to her aunt's manners -- though
she had done it with pain and suffering. She had hemmed the towels
and mended the sheets and had made the rounds to the shops. She
had endeavoured to attend to the pounds of meat and to sympathise
with her aunt in the interest taken in the relics of the joints
as they escaped from the hungry treatment of the two maidens
in the kitchen. Ayala had been clever enough to understand that
her aunt had been wounded by Lucy's indifference, not so much
because she had desired to avail herself of Lucy's labours as
from a feeling that that indifference had seemed to declare that
her own pursuits were mean and vulgar. Understanding this she
had struggled to make those pursuits her own -- and had in part
succeeded. Her aunt could talk to her about the butter and the
washing, matters as to which her lips had been closed in any
conversation with Lucy. That Ayala was struggling Mrs Dosett
had been aware -- but she had thought that such struggles were
good and had not been hopeless. Then came the visit to Brook
Street, and Ayala returned quite an altered young woman. It seemed
as though she neither could nor would struggle any longer. "I
hate mutton bones," she said to her aunt one morning soon after
her return.
"No doubt we would all like meat joints the best," said her aunt,
frowning.
"I hate joints too."
"You have, I dare say, been cockered up at the Marchesa's with
made dishes."
"I hate dishes," said Ayala, petulantly.
"You don't hate eating?"
"Yes, I do. It is ignoble. Nature should have managed it differently.
We ought to have sucked it in from the atmosphere through our
fingers and hairs, as the trees do by their leaves. There should
have been no butchers, and no grease, and no nasty smells from
the kitchen -- and no gin."
This was worse than all -- this allusion to the mild but unfashionable
stimulant to which Mr Dosett had been reduced by his good nature.
"You are flying in the face of the Creator, Miss," said Aunt
Margaret, in her most angry voice -- "in the face of the Creator
who made everything, and ordained what His creatures should eat
and drink by His infinite wisdom."
"Nevertheless," said Ayala, "I think we might have done without
boiled mutton." Then she turned to some articles of domestic
needlework which were in her lap so as to show that in spite
of the wickedness of her opinions she did not mean to be idle.
But Mrs Dosett, in her wrath, snatched the work from her niece's
hands and carried it out of the room, thus declaring that not
even a pillowcase in her house should owe a stitch to the hands
of a girl so ungrateful and so blasphemous.
The wrath wore off soon. Ayala, though not contrite was meek,
and walked home with her aunt on the following morning, patiently
carrying a pound of butter, six eggs, and a small lump of bacon
in a basket. After that the pillowcase was recommitted to her.
But there still was left evidence enough that the girl's mind
had been upset by the luxuries of Brook Street -- evidence to
which Aunt Margaret paid very much attention, insisting upon
it in her colloquies with her husband. "I think that a little
amusement is good for young people," said Uncle Reginald, weakly.
"And for old people too. No doubt about it, if they can get it
so as not to do them any harm at the same time. Nothing can be
good for a young woman which unfits her for that state of life
to which it has pleased God to call her. Ayala has to live with
us. No doubt there was a struggle when she first came from your
sister, Lady Tringle, but she made it gallantly, and I gave her
great credit. She was just falling into a quiet mode of life
when there came this invitation from the Marchesa Baldoni. Now
she has come back quite an altered person, and the struggle has
to be made all over again." Uncle Reginald again expressed his
opinion that young people ought to have a little amusement, but
he was not strong enough to insist very much upon his theory.
It certainly, however, was true that Ayala, though she still
struggled, had been very much disturbed by the visit.
Then came the invitation to Stalham. There was a very pretty
note from Lady Albury to Ayala herself, saying how much pleasure
she would have in seeing Miss Dormer at her house, where Ayala's
old friends the Marchesa and Nina were then staying. This was
accompanied by a long letter from Nina herself, in which all
the charms of Stalham, including Mr Ponsonby and lawn tennis,
were set forth at full length. Ayala had already heard much about
Stalham and the Alburys from her friend Nina, who had hinted
in a whisper that such an invitation as this might perhaps be
forthcoming. She was ready enough for the visit, having looked
through her wardrobe, and resolved that things which had been
good enough for Brook Street would still be good enough for Stalham.
But the same post had brought a letter for Mrs Dosett, and Ayala
could see, that, as the letter was read, a frown came upon her
aunt's brow, and that the look on her aunt's face was decidedly
averse to Stalham. This took place soon after breakfast, when
Uncle Reginald had just started for his office, and neither of
them for a while said a word to the other of the letter that
had been received. It was not till after lunch that Ayala spoke.
"Aunt," she said, "you have had a letter from Lady Albury?"
"Yes," said Mrs Dosett, grimly, "I have had a letter from Lady
Albury."
Then there was another silence, till Ayala, whose mind was full
of promised delights, could not refrain herself longer. "Aunt
Margaret," she said, "I hope you mean to let me go." For a minute
or two there was no reply, and Ayala again pressed her question.
"Lady Albury wants me to go to Stalham."
"She has written to me to say that she would receive you."
"And I may go?"
"I am strongly of opinion that you had better not," said Mrs
Dosett, confirming her decree by a nod which might have suited
Jupiter.
"Oh, Aunt Margaret, why not?"
"I think it would be most prudent to decline."
"But why -- why -- why, Aunt Margaret?"
"There must be expense."
"I have money enough for the journey left of my own from what
Uncle Tom gave me," said Ayala, pleading her cause with all her
eloquence.
"It is not only the money. There are other reasons -- very strong
reasons."
"What reasons, Aunt Margaret?"
"My dear, it is your lot to have to live with us, and not with
such people as the Marchesa Baldoni and Lady Albury."
"I am sure I do not complain."
"But you would complain after having for a time been used to
the luxuries of Albury Park. I do not say that as finding fault,
Ayala. It is human nature that it should be so."
"But I won't complain. Have I ever complained?"
"Yes, my dear. You told me the other day that you did not like
bones of mutton, and you were disgusted because things were greasy.
I do not say this by way of scolding you, Ayala, but only that
you may understand what must be the effect of your going from
such a house as this to such a house as Stalham, and then returning
back from Stalham to such a house as this. You had better be
contented with your position."
"I am contented with my position," sobbed Ayala.
"And allow me to write to Lady Albury refusing the invitation."
But Ayala could not be brought to look at the matter with her
aunt's eyes. When her aunt pressed her for an answer which should
convey her consent she would give none, and at last left the
room bitterly sobbing. Turning the matter over in her own bosom
upstairs she determined to be mutinous. No doubt she owed a certain
amount of obedience to her aunt; but had she not been obedient,
had she not worked hard and lugged about that basket of provisions,
and endeavoured to take an interest in all her aunt's concerns?
Was she so absolutely the property of her aunt that she was bound
to do everything her aunt desired to the utter annihilation of
all her hopes, to the extermination of her promised joys? She
felt that she had succeeded in Brook Street. She had met no Angel
of Light, but she was associated with people whom she had liked,
and had been talked to by those to whom it had been a pleasure
to listen. That colonel with the quaint name and the ugly face
was still present to her memory as he had leaned over her shoulder
at the theatre, making her now laugh by his drollery, and now
filling her mind with interest by his description of the scenes
which she was seeing. She was sure that all this, or something
of the same nature, would be renewed for her delight at Stalham.
And was she to be robbed of this -- the only pleasure which seemed
to regain to her in this world -- merely because her aunt chose
to entertain severe notions as to duty and pleasure? Other girls
went out when they were asked. At Rome, when that question of
the dance at the Marchesa's had been discussed, she had had her
own way in opposition to her Aunt Emmeline and her cousin Augusta.
No doubt she had, in consequence partly of her conduct on that
occasion, been turned out of her Uncle Tom's house; but of that
she did not think at the present moment. She would be mutinous,
and would appeal to her Uncle Reginald for assistance.
But the letter which contained the real invitation had been addressed
to her aunt, and her aunt could in truth answer it as she pleased.
The answer might at this moment be in the act of being written,
and should it be averse Ayala knew very well that she could not
go in opposition to it. And yet her aunt came to her in the afternoon
consulting her again, quite unconquered as to her own opinion,
but still evidently unwilling to write the fatal letter without
Ayala's permission. Then Ayala assured herself that she had rights
of her own, which her aunt did not care to contravene. "I think
I ought to be allowed to go," she said, when her aunt came to
her during the afternoon.
"When I think it will be bad for you?"
"It won't be bad. They are very good people. I think that I ought
to be allowed to go."
"Have you no reliance on those who are your natural guardians?"
"Uncle Reginald is my natural guardian," said Ayala, through
her tears.
"Very well! If you refuse to be guided by me as though I were
not your aunt, and as you will pay no attention to what I tell
you is proper for you and best, the question must be left till
your uncle comes home. I cannot but be very much hurt that you
should think so little of me. I have always endeavoured to do
the best I could for you, just as though I were your mother."
"I think that I ought to be allowed to go," repeated Ayala.
As the first consequence of this, the replies to all the three
letters were delayed for the next day's post. Ayala had considered
much with what pretty words she might best answer Lady Albury's
kind note, and she had settled upon a form of words which she
had felt to be very pretty. Unless her uncle would support her,
that would be of no avail, and another form must be chosen. To
Nina she would tell the whole truth, either how full of joy she
was -- or else how cruelly used and how thoroughly broken-hearted.
But she could not think that her uncle would be unkind to her.
Her uncle had been uniformly gentle. Her uncle, when he should
know how much her heart was set upon it, would surely let her
go.
The poor girl, when she tacitly agreed that her uncle should
be the arbiter in the matter, thus pledging herself to abide
by her uncle's decision, let it be what it might, did not think
what great advantage her aunt would have over her in that discussion
which would be held upstairs while the master of the house was
washing his hands before dinner. Nor did she know of how much
stronger will was her Aunt Margaret than her Uncle Reginald.
While he was washing his hands and putting on his slippers, the
matter was settled in a manner quite destructive of poor Ayala's
hopes. "I won't have it," said Mrs Dosett, in reply to the old
argument that young people ought to have some amusement. "If
I am to be responsible for the girl I must be allowed my own
way with her. It is trouble enough, and very little thanks I
get for it. Of course she hates me. Nevertheless, I can endeavour
to do my duty, and I will. It is not thanks, nor love, nor even
gratitude, that I look for. I am bound to do the best I can by
her because she is your niece, and because she has no other real
friends. I knew what would come of it when she went to that house
in Brook Street. I was soft then and gave way. The girl has moped
about like a miserable creature ever since. If I am not to have
my own way now I will have done with her altogether." Having
heard this very powerful speech, Uncle Reginald was obliged to
give way, and it was settled that after dinner he should convey
to Ayala the decision to which they had come.
Ayala, as she sat at the dinner-table, was all expectation, but
she asked no question. She asked no question after dinner, while
her uncle slowly, solemnly, and sadly sipped his one beaker of
cold gin and water. He sipped it very slowly, no doubt because
he was anxious to postpone the evil moment in which he must communicate
her fate to his niece. But at last the melancholy glass was drained,
and then, according to the custom of the family, Mrs Dosett led
the way up into the drawing-room, followed by Ayala and her husband.
He, when he was on the stairs, and when the eyes of his wife
were not upon him, tremulously put out his hand and laid it on
Ayala's shoulder, as though to embrace her. The poor girl knew
well that mark of affection. There would have been no need for
such embracing had the offered joys of Stalham been in store
for her. The tears were already in her eyes when she seated herself
in the drawing-room, as far removed as possible from the armchair
which was occupied by her aunt.
Then her uncle pronounced his judgment in a vacillating voice
-- with a vacillation which was ineffectual of any good to Ayala.
"Ayala," he said, "your aunt and I have been talking over this
invitation to Stalham, and we are of opinion, my dear, that you
had better not accept it."
"Why not, Uncle Reginald?"
"There would be expense."
"I can pay for my own ticket."
"There would be many expenses, which I need not explain to you
more fully. The truth is, my dear, that poor people cannot afford
to live with rich people, and had better not attempt it."
"I don't want to live with them."
"Visiting them is living with them for a time. I am sorry, Ayala,
that we are not able to put you in a position in which you might
enjoy more of the pleasures incidental to your age; but you must
take the things as they are. Looking at the matter all round,
I am sure that your aunt is right in advising that you should
stay at home."
"It isn't advice at all," said Ayala.
"Ayala!" exclaimed her aunt, in a tone of indignation.
"It isn't advice," repeated Ayala. "Of course, if you won't let
me go, I can't."
"You are a very wicked girl," said Mrs Dosett, "to speak to your
uncle like that, after all that he has done for you."
"Not wicked," said the uncle.
"I say, wicked. But it doesn't matter. I shall at once write
to Lady Albury, as you desire, and of course there will be no
further question as to her going." Soon after that Mrs Dosett
sat down to her desk, and wrote that letter to which the Marchesa
had alluded in hers to her nephew. No doubt it was stern and
hard, and of a nature to make such a woman as the Marchesa feel
that Mrs Dosett would not be a pleasant companion for a girl
like Ayala. But it was written with a full conviction that duty
required it; and the words, though hard and stiff, had been chosen
with the purpose of showing that the doing of this disagreeable
duty had been felt to be imperative.
When the matter had been thus decided, Ayala soon retreated to
her own room. Her very soul was burning with indignation at the
tyranny to which she thought herself subjected. The use of that
weak word, advice, had angered her more than anything. It had
not been advice. It had not been given as advice. A command had
been laid upon her, a most cruel and unjust command, which she
was forced to obey, because she lacked the power of escaping
from her condition of slavery. Advice, indeed! Advice is a thing
with which the advised one may or may not comply, as that advised
one may choose. A slave must obey an order! Her own papa and
her own mamma had always advised her, and the advice had always
been followed, even when read only in the glance of an eye, in
a smile, or a nod. Then she had known what it was to be advised.
Now she was ordered -- as slaves are ordered; and there was no
escape from her slavery!
She, too, must write her letter, but there was no need now of
that pretty studied phrase, in which she had hoped to thank Lady
Albury fitly for her great kindness. She found, after a vain
attempt or two, that it was hopeless to endeavour to write to
Lady Albury. The words would not come to her pen. But she did
write to Nina:
DEAR, DEAREST NINA,
They won't let me go! Oh, my darling, I am so miserable! Why
should they not let me go, when people are so kind, so very kind,
as Lady Albury and your dear mamma? I feel as though I should
like to run from the house, and never come back, even though
I had to die in the streets. I was so happy when I got your letter
and Lady Albury's, and now I am so wretched! I cannot write to
Lady Albury. You must just tell her, with many thanks from me,
that they will not let me go!
There was much pity felt for Ayala among the folk at Stalham.
The sympathies of them all should have been with Mrs Dosett.
They ought to have felt that the poor aunt was simply performing
an unpleasant duty, and that the girl was impracticable if not
disobedient. But Ayala was known to be very pretty, and Mrs Dosett
was supposed to be plain. Ayala was interesting, while Mrs Dosett,
from the nature of her circumstances, was most uninteresting.
It was agreed on all sides, at Stalham, that so pretty a bird
as Ayala should not be imprisoned for ever in so ugly a cage.
Such a bird ought, at least, to be allowed its chance of captivating
some fitting mate by its song and its plumage. That was Lady
Albury's argument -- a woman very good-natured, a little given
to matchmaking, a great friend to pretty girls -- and whose eldest
son was as yet only nine, so that there could be no danger to
herself or her own flock. There was much ridicule thrown on Mrs
Dosett at Stalham, and many pretty things said of the bird who
was so unworthily imprisoned in Kingsbury Crescent. At last there
was something like a conspiracy, the purport of which was to
get the bird out of its cage in November.
In this conspiracy it can hardly be said that the Marchesa took
an active part. Much as she liked Ayala, she was less prone than
Lady Albury to think that the girl was ill-used. She was more
keenly alive than her cousin -- or rather her cousin's wife --
to the hard necessities of the world. Ayala must be said to have
made her own bed. At any rate there was the bed and she must
lie on it. It was not the Dosetts' fault that they were poor.
According to their means they were doing the best they could
for their niece, and were entitled to praise rather than abuse.
And then the Marchesa was afraid for her nephew. Colonel Stubbs,
in his letter to her, had declared that he quite agreed with
her views as to matrimony; but she was quite alive to her nephew's
sarcasm. Her nephew, though he might in truth agree with her,
nevertheless was sarcastic. Though he was sarcastic, still he
might be made to accede to her views, because he did, in truth,
agree with her. She was eminently an intelligent woman, seeing
far into character, and she knew pretty well the real condition
of her nephew's mind, and could foresee his conduct. He would
marry before long, and might not improbably marry a girl with
some money if one could be made to come in his way, who would
at the same time suit his somewhat fastidious taste. But Ayala
suited his taste, Ayala who had not a shilling, and the Marchesa
thought it only too likely that if Ayala were released from her
cage, and brought to Albury, Ayala might become Mrs Jonathan
Stubbs. That Ayala should refuse to become Mrs Jonathan Stubbs
did not present itself as a possibility to the Marchesa.
So the matters were when the Marchesa and Nina returned from
Stalham to London, a promise having been given that Nina should
go back to Stalham in November, and be allowed to see the glories
of a hunt. She was not to ride to hounds. That was a matter of
course, but she was to be permitted to see what a pack of hounds
was like, and of what like were the men in their scarlet coats,
and how the huntsman's horn would sound when it should be heard
among the woods and fields. It was already decided that the Colonel
should be there to meet her, and the conspiracy was formed with
the object of getting Ayala out of her cage at the same time.
Stalham was a handsome country seat, in the county of Rufford,
and Sir Harry Albury had lately taken upon himself the duties
of Master of the Rufford and Ufford United Pack. Colonel Stubbs
was to be there with his horses in November, but had, in the
meantime, been seen by Lady Albury, and had been instigated to
do something for the release of Ayala. But what could he do?
It was at first suggested that he should call at Kingsbury Crescent,
and endeavour to mollify the stony heart of Aunt Dosett. But,
as he had said himself, he would be the worst person in the world
to perform such an embassy. "I am not an Adonis, I know," he
said, "nor do I look like a Lothario, but still I am in some
sort a young man, and therefore certain to be regarded as pernicious,
as dangerous and damnable, by such a dragon of virtue as Aunt
Dosett. I don't see how I could expect to have a chance." This
interview took place in London during the latter end of October,
and it was at last decided that the mission should be made by
Lady Albury herself, and made, not to Mrs Dosett, at Kingsbury
Crescent, but to Mr Dosett at his office in Somerset House. "I
don't think I could stand Mrs D.," said Lady Albury.
Lady Albury was a handsome, fashionable woman, rather tall, always
excellently dressed, and possessed of a personal assurance which
nothing could daunt. She had the reputation of an affectionate
wife and a good mother, but was nevertheless declared by some
of her friends to be "a little fast". She certainly was fond
of comedy -- those who did not like her were apt to say that
her comedy was only fun -- and was much disposed to have her
own way when she could get it. She was now bent upon liberating
Ayala from her cage, and for this purpose had herself driven
into the huge court belonging to Somerset House.
Mr Dosett was dignified at his office with the use of a room
to himself, a small room looking out upon the river, in which
he spent six hours on six days of the week in arranging the indexes
of a voluminous library of manuscript letter-books. It was rarely
indeed that he was disturbed by the presence of any visitor.
When, therefore, his door was opened by one of the messengers,
and he was informed that Lady Albury desired to see him, he was
for the moment a good deal disturbed. No option, however, was
given to him as to refusing admission to Lady Albury. She was
in the room before the messenger had completed his announcement,
and had seated herself in one of the two spare chairs which the
room afforded as soon as the door was closed. "Mr Dosett," she
said, "I have taken the great liberty of calling to say a few
words about your niece, Miss Ayala Dormer."
When the lady was first announced, Mr Dosett, in his confusion,
had failed to connect the name which he had heard with that of
the lady who had invited Ayala to her house. But now he recognised
it, and knew who it was that had come to him. "You were kind
enough", he said, "to invite my little girl to your house some
weeks ago."
"And now I have come to invite her again."
Mr Dosett was now more disturbed than ever. With what words was
he to refuse the request which this kind but very grand lady
was about to make? How could he explain to her all those details
as to his own poverty, and as to Ayala's fate in having to share
that poverty with him? How could he explain the unfitness of
Ayala's temporary sojourn with people so wealthy and luxurious?
And yet were he to yield in the least how could he face his wife
on his return home to the Crescent? "You are very kind, Lady
Albury," he said.
"We particularly wish to have her about the end of the first
week in November," said the lady. "Her friend Nina Baldoni will
be there, and one or two others whom she knows. We shall try
to be a little gay for a week or two."
"I have no doubt it would be gay, and we at home are very dull."
"Do you not think a little gaiety good for young people?" said
her ladyship, using the very argument which poor Mr Dosett had
so often attempted to employ on Ayala's behalf.
"Yes; a little gaiety," he said, as though deprecating the excessive
amount of hilarity which he imagined to prevail at Stalham.
"Of course you do," said Lady Albury. "Poor little girl! I have
heard so much about her, and of all your goodness to her. Mrs
Dosett, I know, is another mother to her; but still a little
country air could not but be beneficial. Do say that she shall
come to us, Mr Dosett."
Then Mr Dosett felt that, disagreeable as it was, he must preach
the sermon which his wife had preached to him, and he did preach
it. He spoke timidly of his own poverty, and the need which there
was that Ayala should share it. He spoke a word of the danger
which might come from luxury, and of the discontent which would
be felt when the girl returned to her own home. Something he
added of the propriety of like living with like, and ended by
praying that Ayala might be excused. The words came from him
with none of that energy which his wife would have used -- were
uttered in a low melancholy drone; but still they were words
hard to answer, and called upon Lady Albury for all her ingenuity
in finding an argument against them.
But Lady Albury was strong-minded, and did find an argument.
"You mustn't be angry with me," she said, "if I don't quite agree
with you. Of course you wish to do the best you can for this
dear child."
"Indeed I do, Lady Albury."
"How is anything then to be done for her if she remains shut
up in your house? You do not, if I understand, see much company
yourselves."
"None at all."
"You won't be angry with me for my impertinence in alluding to
it."
"Not in the least. It is the fact that we live altogether to
ourselves."
"And the happiest kind of life too for married people," said
Lady Albury, who was accustomed to fill her house in the country
with a constant succession of visitors, and to have engagements
for every night of the week in town. "But for young people it
is not quite so good. How is a young lady to get herself settled
in life?"
"Settled?" asked Mr Dosett, vaguely.
"Married," suggested Lady Albury, more plainly. Mr Dosett shook
his head. No idea on the subject had ever flashed across his
mind. To provide bread and meat, a bed and clothes, for his sister's
child he had felt to be a duty -- but not a husband. Husbands
came, or did not -- as the heavens might be propitious. That
Ayala should go to Stalham for the sake of finding a husband
was certainly beyond the extent of his providing care. "In fact
how is a girl to have a chance at all unless she is allowed to
see someone? Of course I don't say this with reference to our
house. There will be no young men there, or anything of that
kind. But, taking a broad view, unless you let a girl like that
have what chances come in her way how is she to get on? I think
you have hardly a right to do it."
"We have done it for the best."
"I am sure of that, Mr Dosett. And I hope you will tell Mrs Dosett,
with my compliments, how thoroughly I appreciate her goodness.
I should have called upon her instead of coming here, only that
I cannot very well get into that part of the town."
"I will tell her what you are good enough to say."
"Poor Ayala! I am afraid that her other aunt, Aunt Tringle, was
not as good to her as your wife. I have heard about how all that
occurred in Rome. She was very much admired there. I am told
that she is perfectly lovely."
"Pretty well."
"A sort of beauty that we hardly ever see now -- and very, very
clever."
"Ayala is clever, I think."
"She ought to have her chance. She ought indeed. I don't think
you quite do your duty by such a girl as that unless you let
her have a chance. She is sure to get to know people, and to
be asked from one house to another. I speak plainly, for I really
think you ought to let her come."
All this sank deeply into the heart of Uncle Reginald. Whether
it was for good or evil it seemed to him at the moment to be
unanswerable. If there was a chance of any good thing for Ayala,
surely it could not be his duty to bar her from that chance.
A whole vista of new views in reference to the treatment of young
ladies was opened to him by the words of his visitor. Ayala certainly
was pretty. Certainly she was clever. A husband with an income
would certainly be a good thing. Embryo husbands with incomes
do occasionally fall in love with pretty girls. But how can any
pretty girl be fallen in love with unless someone be permitted
to see her? At Kingsbury Crescent there was not a man to be seen
from one end of the year to another. It occurred to him now,
for the first time, that Ayala by her present life was shut out
from any chance of marriage. It was manifestly true that he had
no right to seclude her in that fashion. At last he made a promise,
rashly, as he felt at the very moment of making it, that he would
ask his wife to allow Ayala to go to Stalham. Lady Albury of
course accepted this as an undertaking that Ayala should come,
and went away triumphant.
Mr Dosett walked home across the parks with a troubled mind,
thinking much of all that had passed between him and the lady
of fashion. It was with great difficulty that he could quite
make up his mind which was right -- the lady of fashion or his
wife. If Ayala was to live always as they lived at Kingsbury
Crescent, if it should in process of time be her fate to marry
some man in the same class as themselves, if continued care as
to small pecuniary needs was to be her future lot, then certainly
her comfort would only be disturbed by such a visit as that now
proposed. And was it not probable that such would be the destiny
in store for her? Mr Dosett knew the world well enough to be
aware that all pretty girls such as Ayala cannot find rich husbands
merely by exhibiting their prettiness. Kingsbury Crescent, unalloyed
by the dangers of Stalham, would certainly be the most secure.
But then he had been told that Ayala now had special chances
offered to her, and that he had no right to rob her of those
chances. He felt this the more strongly, because she was not
his daughter -- only his niece. With a daughter he and his wife
might have used their own judgment without check. But now he
had been told that he had no right to rob Ayala of her chances,
and he felt that he had not the right. By the time that he reached
Kingsbury Crescent he had, with many misgivings, decided in favour
of Stalham.
It was now some weeks since the first invitation had been refused,
and during those weeks life had not been pleasant at the Crescent.
Ayala moped and pined as though some great misfortune had fallen
upon her. When she had first come to the Crescent she had borne
herself bravely, as a man bears a trouble when he is conscious
that he has brought it on himself by his own act, and is proud
of the act which has done it. But when that excitement has gone,
and the trouble still remains, the pride wears off, and the man
is simply alive to his suffering. So it had been with Ayala.
Then had come the visit to Brook Street. When, soon after that,
she was invited to Stalham, it seemed as though a new world was
being opened to her. There came a moment when she could again
rejoice that she had quarrelled with her Aunt Emmeline. This
new world would be a much better world than the Tringle world.
Then had come the great blow, and it had seemed to her as though
there was nothing but Kingsbury Crescent before her for the rest
of her wretched life.
There was not a detail of all this hidden from the eyes of Aunt
Margaret. Stalham had decided that Aunt Margaret was ugly and
uninteresting. Stalham, according to its own views, was right.
Nevertheless the lady in Kingsbury Crescent had both eyes to
see and a heart to feel. She was hot of temper, but she was forgiving.
She liked her own way, but she was affectionate. She considered
it right to teach her niece the unsavoury mysteries of economy,
but she was aware that such mysteries must be distasteful to
one brought up as Ayala. Even when she had been loudest in denouncing
Ayala's mutiny, her heart had melted in ruth because Ayala had
been so unhappy. She, too, had questioned herself again and again
as to the justness of her decision. Was she entitled to rob Ayala
of her chances? In her frequent discussions with her husband
she still persisted in declaring that Kingsbury Crescent was
safe, and that Stalham would be dangerous. But, nevertheless,
in her own bosom she had misgivings. As she saw the poor girl
mope and weary through one day after another, she could not but
have misgivings.
"I have had that Lady Albury with me at the office today, and
have almost promised that Ayala shall go to her on the 8th of
November." It was thus that Mr Dosett rushed at once into his
difficulty as soon as he found himself upstairs with his wife.
"You have?"
"Well, my dear, I almost did. She said a great deal, and I could
not but agree with much of it. Ayala ought to have her chances."
"What chances?" demanded Mrs Dosett, who did not at all like
the expression.
"Well; seeing people. She never sees anybody here."
"Nobody is better than some people," said Mrs Dosett, meaning
to be severe on Lady Albury's probable guests.
"But if a girl sees nobody," said Mr Dosett, "she can have no
-- no -- no chances."
"She has the chance of wholesome victuals," said Mrs Dosett,
"and I don't know what other chances you or I can give her."
"She might see -- a young man." This Mr Dosett said very timidly.
"A young fiddlestick! A young man! Young men should be waited
for till they come naturally, and never thought about if they
don't come at all. I hate this looking after young men. If there
wasn't a young man for the next dozen years we should do better
-- so as just to get out of the way of thinking about them for
a time." This was Mrs Dosett's philosophy; but in spite of her
philosophy she did yield, and on that night it was decided that
Ayala after all was to be allowed to go to Stalham.
To Mr Dosett was deputed the agreeable task of telling Ayala
on the next evening what was to befall her. If anything agreeable
was to be done in that sombre house it was always deputed to
the master.
"What!" said Ayala, jumping from her chair.
"On the eighth of November," said Mr Dosett.
"To Stalham?"
"Lady Albury was with me yesterday at the office, and your aunt
has consented."
"Oh, Uncle Reginald!" said Ayala, falling on her knees, and hiding
her face on his lap. Heaven had been once more opened to her.
"I'll never forget it," said Ayala, when she went to thank her
aunt -- "never."
"I only hope it may not do you a mischief."
"And I beg your pardon, Aunt Margaret, because I was -- I was
-- because I was -- " She could not find the word which would
express her own delinquency, without admitting more than she
intended to admit -- "too self-asserting, considering that I
am only a young girl." That would have been her meaning could
she have found appropriate words.
"We need not go back to that now," said Aunt Margaret.
On the day fixed Ayala went down to Stalham. A few days before
she started there came to her a letter, or rather an envelope,
from her uncle Sir Thomas, enclosing a cheque for £20. The Tringle
women had heard that Ayala had been asked to Stalham, and had
mentioned the visit disparagingly before Sir Thomas. "I think
it very wrong of my poor brother," said Lady Tringle. "She can't
have a shilling even to get herself gloves." This had an effect
which had not been intended, and Sir Thomas sent the cheque for
£20. Then Ayala felt not only that the heavens were opened to
her but that the sweetest zephyrs were blowing her upon her course.
Thoughts as to gloves had disturbed her, and as to some shoes
which were wanting, and especially as to a pretty hat for winter
wear. Now she could get hat, and shoes and gloves, and pay her
fare, and go down to Stalham with money in her pocket. Before
going she wrote a very pretty note to her Uncle Tom.
On her arrival she was made much of by everyone. Lady Albury
called her the caged bird, and congratulated her on her escape
from the bars. Sir Harry asked her whether she could ride to
hounds. Nina gave her a thousand kisses. But perhaps her greatest
delight was in finding that Jonathan Stubbs was at Albury. She
had become so intimate with the Colonel that she regarded him
quite like an old friend; and when a girl has a male friend,
though he may be much less loved, or not loved at all, he is
always more pleasant, or at any rate more piquant, than a female
friend. As for love with Colonel Stubbs that was quite out of
the question. She was sure that he would never fall in love with
herself. His manner to her was altogether unlike that of a lover.
A lover would be smooth, soft, poetic, and flattering. He was
always a little rough to her -- sometimes almost scolding her.
But then he scolded her as she liked to be scolded -- with a
dash of fun and a greatly predominating admixture of good nature.
He was like a bear -- but a bear who would always behave himself
pleasantly. She was delighted when Colonel Stubbs congratulated
her on her escape from Kingsbury Crescent, and felt that he was
justified by his intimacy when he called Mrs Dosett a mollified
she-Cerberus.
"Are you going to make one of my team?" said the Colonel to her
on the morning after her arrival. It was a non-hunting morning,
and the gentlemen were vacant about the house till they went
out for a little shooting later in the day.
"What team?" said Ayala, feeling that she had suddenly received
a check to her happiness. She knew that the Colonel was alluding
to those hunting joys which were to be prepared for Nina, and
which were far beyond her own reach. That question of riding
gear is terrible to young ladies who are not properly supplied.
Even had time admitted she would not have dared to use her uncle's
money for such a purpose, in the hope that a horse might be lent
to her. She had told herself that it was out of the question,
and had declared to herself that she was too thankful for her
visit to allow any regret on such a matter to cross her mind.
But when the Colonel spoke of his team there was something of
a pang. How she would have liked to be one of such a team!
"My pony team. I mean to drive two. You mustn't think that I
am taking a liberty when I say that they are to be called Nina
and Ayala."
There was no liberty at all. Had he called her simply Ayala she
would have felt it to be no more than pleasant friendship, coming
from him. He was so big, and so red, and so ugly, and so friendly!
Why should he not call her Ayala? But as to that team -- it could
not be. "If it's riding," she said demurely, "I can't be one
of the ponies."
"It is riding -- of course. Now the Marchesa is not here, we
mean to call it hunting in a mild way."
"I can't," she said.
"But you've got to do it, Miss Dormer."
"I haven't got anything to do it with. Of course, I don't mind
telling you."
"You are to ride the sweetest little horse that ever was foaled
-- just bigger than a pony. It belongs to Sir Harry's sister
who is away, and we've settled it all. There never was a safer
little beast, and he can climb through a fence without letting
you know that it's there."
"But I mean -- clothes," said Ayala. Then she whispered, "I haven't
got a habit, or anything else anybody ought to have."
"Ah," said the Colonel; "I don't know anything about that. I
should say that Nina must have managed that. The horse department
was left to me, and I have done my part. You will find that you
will have to go out next Tuesday and Friday. The hounds will
be here on Tuesday, and they will be at Rufford on Friday. Rufford
is only nine miles from here, and it's all settled."
Before the day was over the difficulty had vanished. Miss Albury's
horse was not only called into requisition but Miss Albury's
habit also. Ayala had a little black hat of her own, which Lady
Albury assured her would do excellently well for the hunting
field. There was some fitting and some trying on, and perhaps
a few moments of preliminary despair; but on the Tuesday morning
she rode away from the hall door at eleven o'clock mounted on
Sprite, as the little horse was called, and felt herself from
head to foot to be one of Colonel Stubbs's team. When at Glenbogie
she had ridden a little, and again in Italy, and being fearless
by nature, had no trepidation to impair the fulness of her delight.
Hunting from home coverts rarely exacts much jumping from ladies.
The woods are big, and the gates are numerous. It is when the
far-away homes of wild foxes are drawn -- those secluded brakes
and gorses where the noble animal is wont to live at a distance
from carriage-roads and other weak refuges of civilisation --
that the riding capacities of ladies must be equal to those of
their husbands and brothers. This present moment was an occasion
for great delight -- at least, so it was found by both Nina and
Ayala. But it was not an opportunity for great glory. Till it
was time for lunch one fox after another ran about the big woods
of Albury in a fashion that seemed perfect to the two girls,
but which nearly broke the heart of old Tony, who was still huntsman
to the Ufford and Rufford United Hunt. "Darm their nasty ways,"
said Tony to Mr Larry Twentyman, who was one of the popular habitues
of the hunt; "they runs one a top of another's brushes, till
there ain't a 'ound living knows t'other from which. There's
always a many on 'em at Albury, but I never knew an Albury fox
worth his grub yet." But there was galloping along roads and
through gates, and long strings of horsemen followed each other
up and down the rides, and an easy coming back to the places
from which they started, which made the girls think that the
whole thing was divine. Once or twice there was a little bank,
and once or twice a little ditch -- just sufficient to make Ayala
feel that no possible fence would be a difficulty to Sprite.
She soon learnt that mode of governing her body which leaping
requires, and when she was brought into lunch at about two she
was sure that she could do anything which the art of hunting
required. But at lunch an edict went forth as to the two girls,
against further hunting for that day. Nina strove to rebel, and
Ayala attempted to be eloquent by a supplicating glance at the
Colonel. But they were told that as the horses would be wanted
again on Friday they had done enough. In truth, Tony had already
trotted off with the hounds to Pringle's Gorse, a distance of
five miles, and the gentlemen who had lingered over their lunch
had to follow him at their best pace. "Pringle's Gorse is not
just the place for young ladies," Sir Harry said, and so the
matter had been decided against Nina and Ayala.
At about six Sir Harry, Colonel Stubbs, and the other gentlemen
returned, declaring that nothing quicker than their run from
Pringle's Gorse had ever been known in that country. "About six
miles straight on end in forty minutes," said the Colonel, "and
then a kill in the open."
"He was laid up under a bank," said young Gosling.
"He was so beat that he couldn't carry on a field farther," said
Captain Batsby, who was staying in the house.
"I call that the open," said Stubbs.
"I always think I kill a fox in the open", said Sir Harry, "when
the hounds run into him, because he cannot run another yard with
the country there before him." Then there was a long discussion,
as they stood drinking tea before the fire, as to what "the open"
meant, from which they went to other hunting matters. To all
this Ayala listened with attentive ears, and was aware that she
had spent a great day. Oh, what a difference was there between
Stalham and Kingsbury Crescent!
The next two days were almost equally full of delight. She was
taken into the stables to see her horse, and as she patted his
glossy coat she felt that she loved Sprite with all her heart.
Oh, what a world of joy was this -- how infinitely superior even
to Queen's Gate and Glenbogie! The gaudy magnificence of the
Tringles had been altogether unlike the luxurious comfort of
Stalham, where everybody was at his ease, where everybody was
good-natured, where everybody seemed to acknowledge that pleasure
was the one object of life! On the evening before the Friday
she was taken out to dinner by Captain Batsby. She was not sure
that she liked Captain Batsby, who made little complimentary
speeches to her. But her neighbour on the other side was Colonel
Stubbs, and she was quite sure that she liked Colonel Stubbs.
"I know you'll go like a bird tomorrow," said Captain Batsby.
"I shouldn't like that, because there would be no jumping," said
Ayala.
"But you'd be such a beautiful bird." The Captain, as he drawled
out his words, made an eye at her, and she was sure that she
did not like the Captain.
"At what time are we to start tomorrow?" she said, turning to
the Colonel.
"Ten, sharp. Mind you're ready. Sir Harry takes us on the drag,
and wouldn't wait for Venus, though she wanted five minutes more
for her back hair."
"I don't suppose she ever wants any time for her back hair. I
wouldn't if I were a goddess."
"Then you'd be a very untidy goddess, that's all. I wonder whether
you are untidy."
"Well -- yes -- sometimes."
"I hate untidy girls."
"Thank you, Colonel Stubbs."
"What I like is a nice prim little woman, who never had a pin
in the wrong place in her life. Her cuffs and collars are always
as stiff as steel, and she never rubs the sleeves of her dresses
by leaning about, like some young ladies."
"That's what I do."
"My young woman never sits down lest she should crease her dress.
My young woman never lets her ribbons get tangled. My young woman
can dress upon forty pounds a year, and always look as though
she came out of a band-box."
"I don't believe you've got a young woman, Colonel Stubbs."
"Well; no; I haven't -- except in my imagination."
If so, he too must have his Angel of Light! "Do you ever
dream about her?"
"Oh dear, yes. I dream that she does scold so awfully when I
have her to myself. In my dreams, you know, I'm married to her,
and she always wants me to eat hashed mutton. Now, if there is
one thing that makes me more sick than another it is hashed mutton.
Of course I shall marry her in some of my waking moments, and
then I shall have to eat hashed mutton for ever."
Then Captain Batsby put in another word. "I should so like to
be allowed to give you a lead tomorrow."
"Oh, thank you -- but I'd rather not have it," said Ayala, who
was altogether in the dark, thinking that "a lead" might be some
present which she would not wish to accept from Captain Batsby.
"I mean that I should like to show you a line if we get a run."
"What is a line?" asked Ayala.
"A line? Why a line is just a lead -- keep your eye on me and
I'll take the fences where you can follow without coming to grief."
"Oh," said Ayala, "that's a lead, is it? Colonel Stubbs is going
to give my friend and me a lead, as long as we stay here."
"No man ever ought to coach more than one lady at once," said
the Captain, showing his erudition. "You're sure to come on top
of one another if there are two."
"But Colonel Stubbs is especially told by the Marchesa to look
after both of us," said Ayala almost angrily. Then she turned
her shoulder to him, and was soon intent upon further instructions
from the Colonel.
The following morning was fine, and all the ladies in the house
were packed on to the top of Sir Harry's drag. The Colonel sat
behind Sir Harry on the plea that he was wanted to take care
of the two girls. Captain Batsby and three other gentlemen were
put inside, where they consoled themselves with unlimited tobacco.
In this way they were driven to a spot called Rufford Cross Roads,
where they found Tony Tappett sitting perfectly quiescent on
his old mare, while the hounds were seated around him on the
grassy sides of the roads. With him was talking a stout, almost
middle-aged gentleman, in a scarlet coat, and natty pink top
boots, who was the owner of all the country around. This was
Lord Rufford, who a few years since was known as one of the hardest
riders in those parts; but he had degenerated into matrimony,
was now the happy father of half a dozen babies, and was hardly
ever seen to jump over a fence. But he still came out when the
meets were not too distant, and carefully performed that first
duty of an English country gentleman -- the preservation of foxes.
Though he did not ride much, no one liked a little hunting gossip
better than Lord Rufford. It was, however, observed that even
in regard to hunting he was apt to quote the authority of his
wife.
"Oh, yes, my Lord," said Tony, "there'll sure to be a fox at
Dillsborough. But we'll find one afore we get to Rufford, my
Lord."
"Lady Rufford says there hasn't been a fox seen in the home woods
this week."
"Her ladyship will be sure to know," said Tony.
"Do you remember that fence where poor Major Caneback got his
fall six years ago?" asked the Lord.
"Seven years next Christmas, my Lord," said Tony. "He never put
a leg across a saddle again, poor fellow! I remember him well,
my Lord; a man who could 'andle a 'orse wonderful, though he
didn't know 'ow to ride to 'ounds; not according to my idea.
To get your animal to carry you through, never mind 'ow long
the thing is; that's my idea of riding to 'ounds, my Lord. The
major was for always making a 'orse jump over everything. I never
wants 'em to jump over nothing I can't help -- I don't, my Lord."
"That's just what her ladyship is always saying to me," said
Lord Rufford, "and I do pretty much what her ladyship tells me."
On this occasion Lady Rufford had been quite right about the
home covers. No doubt she generally was right in any assertion
she made as to her husband's affairs. After drawing them Tony
trotted on towards Dillsborough, running his hounds through a
few little springs, which lay near his way. As they went Colonel
Stubbs rode between the two girls. "Whenever I see Rufford,"
said the Colonel, "he does me a world of good."
"What good can a fat man like that do you?" said Nina.
"He is a continual sermon against marriage. If I could see Rufford
once a week I know that I should be safe."
"He seems to me to be a very comfortable old gentleman," said
Ayala.
"Old! Seven years ago he was acknowledged to be the one undisputed
paragon of a young man in this county. No one else dreamed of
looking at a young lady if he chose to turn his eyes in that
direction. He was handsome as Apollo -- "
"He an Apollo!" said Nina.
"The best Apollo there then was in these parts, and every one
knew that he had forty thousand a year to spend. Now he is supposed
to be the best hand in the house at rocking the cradle."
"Do you mean to say that he nurses the babies?" asked Ayala.
"He looks as if he did at any rate. He never goes ten miles away
from his door without having Lady Rufford with him, and is always
tucked up at night just at half past ten by her ladyship's own
maid. Ten years ago he would generally have been found at midnight
with cards in his hand and a cigar in his mouth. Now he is allowed
two cigarettes a day. Well, Mr Twentyman, how are you getting
on?" This he said to a good-looking better sort of farmer, who
came up, riding a remarkably strong horse, and dressed in pink
and white cords.
"Thank ye, Colonel, pretty well, considering how hard the times
are. A man who owns a few acres and tries to farm them must be
on the road to ruin nowadays. That's what I'm always telling
my wife, so that she may know what she has got to expect." Mr
Twentyman had been married just twelve months.
"She isn't much frightened, I daresay," said the Colonel.
"She's young, you see," continued the farmer, "and hasn't settled
herself down yet to the sorrows of life." This was that Mr Lawrence
Twentyman who married Kate Masters, the youngest daughter of
old Masters, the attorney at Dillsborough, and sister of Mrs
Morton, wife of the squire of Bragton. "By the holy," said Twentyman
suddenly, "the hounds have put a fox out of that little spinney."
Ayala, who had been listening attentively to the conversation
of Mr Twentyman, and been feeling that she was being initiated
every moment into a new phase of life -- who had been endeavouring
to make some connection in her mind between the new charms of
the world around her and that world of her dreams that was ever
present to her, and had as yet simply determined that neither
could Lord Rufford or Mr Twentyman have ever been an Angel of
Light -- at once straightened herself in her saddle, and prepared
herself for the doing of something memorable. It was evident
to her that Mr Twentyman considered that the moment for action
had come. He did not gallop off wildly, as did four or five others,
but stood still for a moment looking intently at a few hounds
who, with their tails feathering in the air and with their noses
down, seemed at the same time to be irresolute and determined,
knowing that the scent was there but not yet quite fixed as to
its line. "Half a moment, Colonel," he said, standing up in his
stirrups, with his left hand raised, while his right held his
reins and his whip close down on his horse's neck. "Half a moment!"
He only whispered, and then shook his head angrily, as he heard
the ill-timed shouting of one or two men who had already reached
the other side of the little skirting of trees. "I wish Fred
Botsey's tongue were tied to his teeth," he said, still whispering.
"Now, Colonel, they have it. There's a little lane to the right,
and a gate. After that the country's open, and there's nothing
which the ladies' nags can't do. I know the country so well,
you'd perhaps better come with me for a bit."
"He knows all about it," said the Colonel to Ayala. "Do as he
tells you."
Ayala and Nina both were quick enough to obey. Twentyman dashed
along the lane, while the girls followed him with the Colonel
after them. When they were at the hunting gate already spoken
of, old Tony Tappett was with them, trotting, impatient to get
to the hounds, courteously giving place to the ladies -- whom,
however, in his heart, he wished at home in bed -- and then thrusting
himself through the gate in front of the Colonel. "D -- their
pigheaded folly," he said, as he came up to his friend Twentyman
-- "they knows no more about it than if they'd just come from
behind a counter -- 'olloaing, 'olloaing, 'olloaing -- as if
'olloaing'd make a fox break! 'Owsomever 'e's off now, and they've
got Cranbury Brook between them and his line!" This he said in
a squeaking little voice, intended to be jocose and satirical,
shaking his head as he rode. This last idea seemed to give him
great consolation.
It was the consideration, deep and well-founded, as to the Cranbury
which had induced Larry Twentyman to pause on the road when he
had paused, and then to make for the lane and the gate. The direction
had hardly seemed to be that of the hounds, but Larry knew the
spinney, knew the brook -- knew the fox, perhaps -- and was aware
of the spot at which the brute would cross the water if he did
cross it. The brute did cross the water, and therefore there
was Cranbury Brook between many of the forward riders and his
line.
Sir Harry was then with them, and two or three other farmers.
But Larry had a lead, and the two girls were with him. Tony Tappett,
though he had got up to his hounds, did not endeavour to ride
straight to them as did Larry Twentyman. He was old and unambitious,
very anxious to know where his hounds were, so that he might
be with them should they want the assistance of his voice and
counsel, anxious to be near enough to take their fox from them
should they run into him, but taking no glory in jumping over
a fence if he could avoid it, creeping about here and there,
knowing from experience nearly every turn in the animal's mind,
aware of every impediment which would delay him, riding fast
only when the impediments were far between, taking no amusement
to himself out of the riding, but with his heart cruelly, bloodily,
ruthlessly set upon killing the animal before him. To kill his
fox he would imperil his neck, but for the glory of riding he
would not soil his boots if he could help it. After the girls
came the Colonel, somewhat shorn of his honour in that he was
no longer giving them a lead, but doing his best to maintain
the pace, which Twentyman was making very good. "Now, young ladies,"
said Twentyman, "give them their heads, and let them do it just
as they please -- alongside of each other, and not too near to
me." It was a brook -- a confluent of Cranbury Brook, and was
wide enough to require a good deal of jumping. It may be supposed
that the two young ladies did not understand much of the instructions
given to them. To hold their breath and be brave was the only
idea present to them. The rest must come from instinct and chance.
The other side of the brook was heaven -- this would be purgatory.
Larry, fearing perhaps that the order as to their not being too
near might not be obeyed, added a little to his own pace so as
to be clear of them. Nevertheless they were only a few strides
behind, and had Larry's horse missed his footing there would
have been a mess. As it was they took the brook side by side
close to each other, and landed full of delight and glory on
the opposite bank. "Bravo! young ladies," shouted Twentyman.
"Oh, Nina, that is divine," said Ayala. Nina was a little too
much out of breath for answering, but simply threw up her eyes
to Heaven and made a flourish with her whip, intended to be expressive
of her perfect joy.
Away went Larry and away went the girls with him quite unconscious
that the Colonel's horse had balked the brook and then jumped
into it -- quite unconscious that Sir Harry, seeing the Colonel's
catastrophe, had followed Tony a quarter of a mile up the brook
to a ford. Even in the soft bosoms of young ladies "the devil
take the hindmost" will be the motto most appropriate for hunting.
Larry Twentyman, of whom they had never heard before, was now
the god of their idolatry. Where Larry Twentyman might go it
was manifestly their duty to follow, even though they should
never see the poor Colonel again. They recked nothing of the
fox or of the hounds or of the master or even of the huntsman.
They had a man before them to show them the way, and as long
as they could keep him in sight each was determined to be at
any rate as good as the other. To give Larry his due it must
be acknowledged that he was thoroughly thoughtful of them. At
every fence encountered he studied the spot at which they would
be least likely to fall. He had to remember, also, that there
were two of them together, and that he had made himself in a
way responsible for the safety of both. All this he did, and
did well, because he knew his business. With the exception of
the waterjump, the country over which they passed was not difficult.
For a time there was a run of gates, each of which their guide
was able to open for them, and as they came near to Dillsborough
Wood there were gaps in most of the fences; but it seemed to
the girls that they had galloped over monstrous hedges and leapt
over walls which it would almost take a strong man to climb.
The brook, however -- the river as it seemed to them -- had been
the crowning glory. Ayala was sure that that brook would never
be forgotten by her. Even the Angel of Light was hardly more
heavenly than the brook.
That the fox was running for Dillsborough Wood was a fact well
known both to Tony Tappett and Mr Larry Twentyman. A fox crossing
the brook from the Rufford side would be sure to run to Dillsborough
Wood. When Larry, with the two girls, were just about to enter
the ride, there was old Tony standing up on his horse at the
corner, looking into the covert. And now also a crowd of horsemen
came rushing up, who had made their way along the road,and had
passed up to the wood through Mr Twentyman's farmyard,; for,
as it happened, here it was that Mr Twentyman lived and farmed
his own land. Then came Sir Harry, Colonel Stubbs, and some others
who had followed the line throughout -- the Colonel with his
boots full of water, as he had been forced to get off his horse
in the bed of the brook. Sir Harry, himself, was not in the best
of humours -- as will sometimes be the case with masters when
they fail to see the cream of a run. "I never saw such riding
in my life," said Sir Harry, as though some great sin had been
committed by those to whom he was addressing himself. Larry turned
round, and winked at the two girls, knowing that, if sin had
been committed, they three were the sinners. The girls understood
nothing about it, but still thought that Larry Twentyman was
divine.
While they were standing about on the rides, Tony was still at
his work. The riding was over, but the fox had to be killed,
and Dillsborough Wood was a covert in which a fox will often
require a large amount of killing. No happier home for the vulpine
deity exists among the shires of England! There are earths there
deep, capacious, full of nurseries; but these, on the present
occasion, were debarred from the poor stranger by the wicked
ingenuity of man. But there were deep dells, in which the brambles
and bracken were so thick that no hound careful of his snout
would penetrate them. The undergrowth of the wood was so interwoven
that no huntsman could see through its depths. There were dark
nooks so impervious that any fox ignorant of the theory of his
own scent must have wondered why a hound should have been induced
to creep into spaces so narrow. From one side to another of the
wood the hunted brute would traverse, and always seem to have
at last succeeded in putting his persecutors at fault. So it
was on this occasion. The run, while it lasted, had occupied,
perhaps, three-quarters of an hour, and during a time equally
long poor old Tony was to be seen scurrying from one side of
the wood to another, and was to be heard loudly swearing at his
attendant whips because the hounds did not follow his footsteps
as quickly as his soul desired.
"I never mean to put on a pair of top-boots again, as long as
I live," said the Colonel. At this time a little knot of horsemen
was stationed in a knoll in the centre of the wood, waiting till
they should hear the fatal whoop. Among them were Nina, Ayala,
the Colonel, Larry Twentyman, and Captain Batsby.
"Give up top-boots?" said Larry. "You don't mean to say you'll
ride in black!"
"Top-boots, black boots, spurs, breeches, and red coat, I renounce
them all from this moment. If ever I'm seen in a hunting field
again it will be in a pair of trousers with overalls."
"Now, you're joking, Colonel," said Larry.
"Why won't you wear a red coat any more?" said Ayala.
"Because I'm disgraced for ever. I came out to coach two young
women, and give them a lead, and all I've done was to tumble
into a brook, while a better man has taken my charge away from
me."
"Oh, Jonathan, I am so sorry," said Nina, "particularly about
your getting into the water."
"Oh, Colonel Stubbs, we ought to have stopped," said Ayala.
"It was my only comfort to see how very little I was wanted,"
said the Colonel. "If I had broke my neck instead of wetting
my feet it would have been just the same to some people."
"Oh, Jonathan!" said Nina, really shocked.
"We ought to have stopped. I know we ought to have stopped,"
said Ayala, almost crying.
"Nobody ever stops for anyone out hunting," said Twentyman, laying
down a great law.
"I should think not," said Captain Batsby, who had hardly been
off the road all the time.
"I am sure the Colonel will not be angry with me because I took
the young ladies on," said Larry.
"The Colonel is such a muff", said the Colonel himself, "that
he will never presume to be angry with anybody again. But if
my cousin and Miss Dormer are not very much obliged to you for
what you have done for them there will be nothing of gratitude
left in the female British bosom. You have probably given to
them the most triumphant moment of their existence."
"It was their own riding, Colonel; I had nothing to do with it."
"I am so much obliged to you, Sir," said Nina.
"And so am I," said Ayala, "though it was such a pity that Colonel
Stubbs got into the water."
At that moment came the long expected call. Tony Tappett had
killed his fox, after crossing and re-crossing through the wood
half a score of times. "Is it all over?" asked Ayala, as they
hurried down the knoll and scurried down the line to get to the
spot outside the wood to which Tony was dragging the carcass
of his defeated enemy.
"It's all over for him," said Larry. "A good fox he was, but
he'll never run again. He is one of them bred at Littlecotes.
The foxes bred at Littlecotes always run."
"And is he dead?" asked Nina. "Poor fellow! I wish it wasn't
necessary to kill them." Then they stood by till they saw the
body of the victim thrown up into the air, and fall amongst the
blood-smirched upturned noses of the expectant pack.
"I call that a pretty little run, Sir Harry," said Larry Twentyman.
"Pretty well," said Sir Harry; "the pace wasn't very great, or
that pony of mine which Miss Dormer is riding could not have
lived with it."
"Horses, Sir Harry, don't want so much pace, if they are allowed
to go straight. It's when a man doesn't get well away, or has
made a mess with his fences, that he needs an extra allowance
of pace to catch the hounds. If you're once with them and can
go straight you may keep your place without such a deal of legs."
To this Sir Harry replied only by a grunt, as on the present
occasion he had "made a mess with his fences," as Larry Twentyman
had called it.
"And now, young ladies," said Larry, "I hope you'll come in and
see my missus and her baby, and have a little bit of lunch, such
as it is."
Nina asked anxiously whether there would not be another fox.
Ayala also was anxious lest in accepting the proffered hospitality
she should lose any of the delights of the day. But it was at
length arranged that a quarter of an hour should be allowed before
Tony took his hounds over to the Bragton coverts. Immediately
Larry was off his horse, rushing into the house and ordering
everyone about it to come forth with bread and cheese and sherry
and beer. In spite of what he had said of his ruin it was known
that Larry Twentyman was a warm man, and that no man in Rufford
gave what he had to give with a fuller heart. His house was in
the middle of the Rufford and Ufford hunting country, and the
consumption there during the hunting months of bread and cheese,
sherry and beer, must have been immense. Everyone seemed to be
intimate with him, and all called for what they wanted as if
they were on their own premises. On such occasions as these Larry
was a proud man; for no one in those parts carried a lighter
heart or was more fond of popularity.
The parlour inside was by no means big enough to hold the crowding
guests, who therefore munched their bread and cheese and drank
their beer round the front door, without dismounting from their
horses; but Nina and Ayala with their friend the Colonel were
taken inside to see Mrs Twentyman and her baby. "Now, Larry,
what sort of a run was it?" said the young mother. "Where did
you find him, and what line did he take?"
"I'll tell you all about it when I come back; there are two young
ladies for you now to look after." Then he introduced his wife
and the baby which was in her arms. "The little fellow is only
six weeks old, and yet she wanted to come to the meet. She'd
have been riding to hounds if I'd let her."
"Why not?" said Mrs Twentyman. "At any rate I might have gone
in the pony carriage and had baby with me.
"Only six weeks old!" said Nina, stooping down and kissing the
child.
"He is a darling!" said Ayala. "I hope he'll go out hunting some
day."
"He'll want to go six times a week if he's anything like his
father," said Mrs Twentyman.
"And seven times if he's like his mother," said Larry. Then again
they mounted their nags, and trotted off across the high roads
to the Bragton coverts. Mrs Twentyman with her baby in her arms
walked down to the gate at the high road and watched them with
longing eyes, till Tony and the hounds were out of sight.
Nothing further in the way of hunting was done that day which
requires to be recorded. They drew various coverts and found
a fox or two, but the scent, which had been so strong in the
morning, seemed to have gone, and the glory of the day was over.
The two girls and the Colonel remained companions during the
afternoon, and succeeded in making themselves merry over the
incident of the brook. The Colonel was in truth well pleased
that Larry Twentyman should have taken his place, though he probably
would not have been gratified had he seen Captain Batsby assume
his duties. It had been his delight to see the two girls ride,
and he had been near enough to see them. He was one of those
men who, though fond of hunting, take no special glory in it,
and are devoid of the jealousy of riding. Not to have a good
place in a run was no worse to him than to lose a game of billiards
or a rubber of whist. Let the reader understand that this trait
in his character is not mentioned with approbation. "Always to
excel and to go ahead of everybody" should, the present writer
thinks, be in the heart of every man who rides to hounds. There
was in our Colonel a philosophical way of looking into the thing
which perhaps became him as a man, but was deleterious to his
character as a sportsman.
"I do hope you've enjoyed yourself, Ayala!" he said, as he lifted
her from her horse.
"Indeed -- indeed, I have!" said Ayala, not noticing the use
of her Christian name. "I have been so happy, and I'm so much
obliged to you!'
Ayala had been a week at Stalham, and according to the understanding
which had existed she should now have returned to Kingsbury Crescent.
She had come for a week, and she had had her week. Oh, what a
week it had been, so thoroughly happy, without a cloud, filled
full with ecstatic pleasures! Jonathan Stubbs had become to her
the pleasantest of friends. Lady Albury had covered her with
caresses and little presents. Nina was the most perfect of friends.
Sir Harry had never been cross, except for that one moment in
the wood. And as for Sprite -- Sprite had nearly realised her
idea of an Angel of Light. Oh, how happy she had been! She was
to return on the Monday, having thus comprised two Sundays within
her elongated week. She knew that her heaven was to be at an
end; but she was grateful, and was determined in her gratitude
to be happy and cheerful to the close. But early on this Sunday
morning Colonel Stubbs spoke a word to Lady Albury. "That little
girl is so thoroughly happy here. Cannot you prolong it for her
just for another three days?"
"Is it to be for her -- or for Colonel Stubbs, who is enamoured
of the little girl?" asked Lady Albury.
"For both," said the Colonel, rather gravely.
"Are you in earnest?"
"What do you call in earnest? I do love to see a pretty creature
enjoy herself thoroughly as she does. If you will make her stay
till Thursday Albury will let her ride the little horse again
at Star Cross on Wednesday.
"Of course she shall stay -- all the season if you wish it. She
is indeed a happy girl if you are in earnest."
Then it was settled, and Lady Albury in her happiest manner informed
Ayala that she was not to be allowed to take her departure till
after she had ridden Sprite once again. "Sir Harry says that
you have given the little horse quite a name, and that you must
finish off his character for him at Star Cross." As was the heart
of the Peri when the gate of Paradise was opened for her so was
the heart of Ayala. There were to be four days, with the fourth
as a hunting day, before she need think of going! There was an
eternity of bliss before her.
"But Aunt Margaret!" she said, not, however, doubting for a moment
that she would stay. Who cares for a frowning aunt at the distance
of an eternity. I fear that in the ecstasy of her joy she had
forgotten the promise made, that she would always remember her
aunt's goodness to her. "I will write a note to Mrs Dosett, and
make it all straight," said Lady Albury. The note was written,
and, whether matters were straight or crooked at Kingsbury Crescent,
Ayala remained at Albury.
Colonel Stubbs had thought about the matter, and determined that
he was quite in earnest. He had, he told himself, enough for
modest living -- for modest living without poverty. More would
come to him when old General Stubbs, his uncle, should die. The
general was already past seventy. What was the use of independence
if he could not allow himself to have the girl whom he really
loved? Had any human being so perfectly lovely as Ayala ever
flashed before his eyes before? Was there ever a sweeter voice
heard from a woman's mouth? And then all her little ways and
motions -- her very tricks -- how full of charm they were! When
she would open her eyes and nod her head, and pout with her lips,
he would declare to himself that he could no longer live without
her. And then every word that fell from her lips seemed to have
something in it of pretty humour. In fact the Colonel was in
love, and had now resolved that he would give way to his love
in spite of his aunt, the Marchesa, and in spite of his own philosophy.
He felt by no means sure of success, but yet he thought that
he might succeed. From the moment in which, as the reader may
remember, he had accosted her at the ball, and desired her to
dance with him in obedience to his aunt's behests, it had been
understood by everyone around him that Ayala had liked him. They
had become fast friends. Ayala allowed him to do many little
things which, by some feminine instinct of her own, would have
been put altogether beyond the reach of Captain Batsby. The Colonel
knew all this, and knew at the same time that he should not trust
to it only. But still he could not but trust to it in some degree.
Lady Albury had told him that Ayala would be a happy girl if
he were in earnest, and he himself was well aware of Ayala's
dependent position, and of the discomforts of Kingsbury Crescent.
Ayala had spoken quite openly to him of Kingsbury Crescent as
to a confidential friend. But on all that he did not lean much
as being in his favour. He could understand that such a girl
as Ayala would not accept a husband merely with the object of
avoiding domestic poverty. Little qualms of doubt came upon him
as he remembered the nature of the girl, so that he confessed
to himself that Lady Albury knew nothing about it. But, nevertheless,
he hoped. His red hair and his ugly face had never yet stood
against him among the women with whom he had lived. He had been
taught by popularity to think himself a popular man -- and then
Ayala had shown so many signs of her friendship!
There was shooting on Saturday, and he went out with the shooters,
saying nothing to anyone of an intended early return; but at
three o'clock he was back at the house. Then he found that Ayala
was out in the carriage, and he waited. He sat in the library
pretending to read, till he heard the sounds of the carriage
wheels, and then he met the ladies in the hall. "Are they all
home from shooting?" asked Lady Albury. The Colonel explained
that no one was home but himself. He had missed three cock-pheasants
running, and had then come away in disgust. "I am the most ignominious
creature in existence," he said laughing; "one day I tumble into
a ditch three feet wide -- "
"It was ten yards at least," said Nina, jealous as to the glory
of her jump.
"And today I cannot hit a bird. I shall take to writing a book
and leave the severer pursuit of sport to more enterprising persons."
Then suddenly turning round he said to Ayala, "Are you good-natured
enough to come and take a walk with me in the shrubbery?"
Ayala, taken somewhat by surprise at the request, looked up into
Lady Albury's face. "Go with him, my dear, if you are not tired,"
said Lady Albury. "He deserves consolation after all his good
deeds to you." Ayala still doubted. Though she was on terms of
pleasant friendship with the man, yet she felt almost awestruck
at this sudden request that she should walk alone with him. But
not to do so, especially after Lady Albury's injunction, would
have been peculiar. She certainly was not tired and had such
a walk come naturally it would have been an additional pleasure
to her; but now, though she went she hesitated, and showed her
hesitation.
"Are you afraid to come with me?" he said, as soon as they were
out on the gravel together.
"Afraid! Oh, dear no, I should not be afraid to go anywhere with
you, I think; only it seems odd that you did not ask Nina too."
"Shall I tell you why?"
"Why was it?"
"Because I have something to say to you which I do not wish Nina
to hear just at this moment. And then I thought that we were
such friends that you would not mind coming with me."
"Of course we are," said Ayala.
"I don't know why it should be so, but I seem to have known you
years instead of days."
"Perhaps that is because you knew papa."
"More likely because I have learnt to know your papa's daughter."
"Do you mean Lucy?"
"I mean Ayala."
"That is saying the same thing twice over. You know me because
you know me."
"Just that. How long do you suppose I have known that Mrs Gregory,
who sat opposite to us yesterday?"
"How can I tell?"
"Just fifteen years. I was going to Harrow when she came as a
young girl to stay with my mother. Her people and my people had
known each other for the last fifty years. Since that I have
seen her constantly, and of course we are very intimate."
"I suppose so."
"I know as much about her after all that as if we had lived in
two different hemispheres and couldn't speak a word of each other's
language. There isn't a thought or a feeling in common between
us. I ask after her husband and her children, and then tell her
it's going to rain. She says something about the old General's
health, and then there is an end of everything between us. When
next we meet we do it all over again."
"How very uninteresting!" said Ayala.
"Very uninteresting. It is because there are so many Mrs Gregorys
about that I like to go down to Drumcaller and live by myself.
Perhaps you're a Mrs Gregory to somebody."
"Why should I be a Mrs Gregory? I don't think I am at all like
Mrs Gregory."
"Not to me, Ayala." Now she heard the "Ayala", and felt something
of what it meant. There had been moments at which she had almost
disliked to hear him call her Miss Dormer; but now -- now she
wished that he had not called her Ayala. She strove to assume
a serious expression of face, but having done so she could not
dare to turn it up towards him. The glance of her little anger,
if there was any, fell only upon the ground. "It is because you
are to me a creature so essentially different from Mrs Gregory
that I seem to know you so well. I never want to go to Drumcaller
if you are near me -- or, if I think of Drumcaller, it is that
I might be there with you."
"I am sure the place is very pretty, but I don't suppose I shall
ever see it."
"Do you know about your sister and Mr Hamel?"
"Yes," said Ayala, surprised. "She has told me all about it.
How do you know?"
"He was staying at Drumcaller -- he and I together with no one
else -- when he went over to ask her. I never saw a man so happy
as when he came back from Glenbogie. He had got all that he wanted
in the world."
"I do so love him because he loves her."
"And I love her -- because she loves you."
"It is not the same, you know," said Ayala, trying to think it
all out.
"May I not love her?
"He is to be my brother. That's why I love him. She can't be
your sister." The poor girl, though she had tried to think it
all out, had not thought very far.
"Can she not?" he said.
"Of course not. Lucy is to marry Mr Hamel."
"And whom am I to marry?" Then she saw it all. "Ayala -- Ayala
-- who is to be my wife?"
"I do not know," she said -- speaking with a gruff voice, but
still in a whisper, with a manner altogether different -- thinking
how well it would be that she should be taken at once back into
the house.
"Do you know whom I would fain have as my wife?" Then he felt
that it behoved him to speak out plainly. He was already sure
that she would not at once tell him that it should be as he would
have it -- that she would not instantly throw herself into his
arms. But he must speak plainly to her, and then fight his cause
as best he might. "Ayala, I have asked you to come out with me
that I might ask you to be my wife. It is that that I did not
wish Nina to hear at once. If you will put out your hand and
say that it shall be so, Nina and all the world shall know it.
I shall be as proud then as Hamel, and as happy -- happier, I
think. It seems to me that no one can love as I do now, Ayala;
it has grown upon me from hour to hour as I have seen you. When
I first took you away to that dance it was so already. Do you
remember that night at the theatre -- when I had come away from
everything and striven so hard that I might be near to you before
you went back to your home? Ayala, I loved you then so dearly
-- but not as I love you now. When I saw you riding away from
me yesterday, when I could not get over the brook, I told myself
that unless I might catch you at last, and have you all to myself,
I could never again be happy. Do you remember when you stooped
down and kissed that man's baby at the farmhouse? Oh, Ayala,
I thought then that if you would not be my wife -- if you would
not be my wife -- I should never have wife, never should have
baby, never should have home of my own." She walked on by his
side, listening, but she had not a word to say to him. It had
been easy enough to her to reject and to rebuke and to scorn
Tom Tringle, when he had persisted in his suit; but she knew
not with what words to reject this man who stood so high in her
estimation, who was in many respects so perfect, whom she so
thoroughly liked -- but whom, nevertheless she must reject. He
was not the Angel of Light. There was nothing there of the azure
wings upon which should soar the all but celestial being to whom
she could condescend to give herself and her love. He was pleasant,
good, friendly, kind-hearted -- all that a friend or a brother
should be; but he was not the Angel of Light. She was sure of
that. She told herself that she was quite sure of it, as she
walked beside him in silence along the path. "You know what I
mean, Ayala, when I tell you that I love you," he continued.
But still she made no answer. "I have seen at last the one human
being with whom I feel that I can be happy to spend my life,
and, having seen her, I ask her to be my wife. The hope has been
dwelling with me and growing since I first met you. Shall it
be a vain hope? Ayala, may I still hope?"
"No," she said, abruptly.
"Is that all?"
"It is all that I can say."
"Is that one 'no' to be the end of everything between us?"
"I don't know what else I ought to say to you, Colonel Stubbs."
"Do you mean that you can never love me?"
"Never," she said.
"That is a hard word -- and hardly friendly. Is there to be no
more than one hard word between you and me? Though I did not
venture to think that you could tell me that you loved me, I
looked for something kinder, something gentler than that." From
such a sharp and waspish word as "no",To pluck the sting!
Ayala did not know the lines I have quoted, but the idea conveyed
in them was present clearly to her mind. She would fain have
told him, had she known how to do so, that her heart was very
gentle towards him, was very kind, gentle and kind as a sister's
-- but that she could not love him, so as to become his wife.
"You are not he -- not he, not that Angel of Light, which must
come to me, radiant with poetry, beautiful to the eye, full of
all excellences of art, lifted above the earth by the qualities
of his mind -- such a one as must come to me if it be that I
am ever to confess that I love. You are not he, and I cannot
love you. But you shall be the next to him in my estimation,
and you are already so dear to me that I would be tender to you,
would be gentle -- if only I knew how." It was all there, clear
enough in her mind, but she had not the words. "I don't know
what it is that I ought to say," she exclaimed through her sobs.
"The truth, at any rate," he answered sternly, "but not the truth,
half and half, after the fashion of some young ladies. Do not
think that you should palter with the truth either because it
may not be palatable to me, or seem decorous to yourself. To
my happiness this matter is all important, and you are something
to my happiness, if only because I have risked it on your love.
Tell me -- why cannot you love me?"
The altered tone of his voice, which now had in it something
of severity, seemed to give her more power.
"It is because -- " Then she paused.
"Because why? Out with it, whatever it is. If it be something
that a man may remedy I will remedy it. Do not fear to hurt me.
Is it because I am ugly? That I cannot remedy." She did not dare
to tell him that it was so, but she looked up at him, not dissenting
by any motion of her head. "Then God help me, for ugly I must
remain."
"It is not that only."
"Is it because my name is Stubbs -- Jonathan Stubbs?" Now she
did assent, nodding her head at him. He had bade her tell him
the truth, and she was so anxious to do as he bade her! "If it
be so, Ayala, I must tell you that you are wrong -- wrong and
foolish; that you are carried away by a feeling of romance, which
is a false romance. Far be it from me to say that I could make
you happy, but I am sure that your happiness cannot be made and
cannot be marred by such accidents as that. Do you think that
my means are not sufficient?"
"No -- no," she cried; "I know nothing of your means. If I could
love you I would not condescend to ask -- even to hear."
"There is no other man, I think?"
"There is no other man."
"But your imagination has depicted to you something grander than
I am," -- then she assented quickly, turning round and nodding
her head to him -- "someone who shall better respond to that
spirit of poetry which is within you?" Again she nodded her head
approvingly, as though to assure him that now he knew the whole
truth. "Then, Ayala, I must strive to soar till I can approach
your dreams. But, if you dare to desire things which are really
grand, do not allow yourself to be mean at the same time. Do
not let the sound of a name move you, or I shall not believe
in your aspirations. Now, shall I take you back to the house?"
Back to the house they went, and there was not another word spoken
between them. By those last words of his she had felt herself
to be rebuked. If it were possible that he could ask her again
whether that sound, Jonathan Stubbs, had anything to do with
it, she would let him know now, by some signal, that she no longer
found a barrier in the name. But there were other barriers --
barriers which he himself had not pretended to call vain. As
to his ugliness, that he had confessed he could not remedy; calling
on God to pity him because he was so. And as for that something
grander which he had described, and for which her soul sighed,
he had simply said that he would seek for it. She was sure that
he would not find it. It was not to such as he that the something
grander -- which was to be the peculiar attribute of the Angel
of Light -- could be accorded. But he had owned that the something
grander might exist.
The Colonel and Ayala returned to the house without a word. When
they were passing through the hall she turned to go at once up
the stairs to her own room. As she did so he put out his hand
to her, and she took it. But she passed on without speaking,
and when she was alone she considered it over all in her own
mind. There could be no doubt that she was right. Of that she
was quite sure. It was certainly a fixed law that a girl should
not marry a man unless she loved him. She did not love this man,
and therefore she ought not to marry him. But there were some
qualms at her heart as to the possible reality of the image which
she had created for her own idolatry. And she had been wounded
when he told her that she should not allow herself to be mean
amidst her soarings. She had been wounded, and yet she knew that
he had been right. He had intended to teach her the same lesson
when he told her the absurd story of the woman who had been flung
out of the window. She could not love him; but that name of his
should never again be a reason for not doing so. Let the Angel
of Light come to her with his necessary angelic qualities, and
no want of euphony in a sound should be a barrier to him. Nor
in truth could any outside appearance be an attribute of angelic
light. The Angel of Light might be there even with red hair.
Something as to the truth of this also came across her, though
the Colonel had not rebuked her on that head.
But how should she carry herself now during the four days which
remained to her at Stalham Park? All the loveliness seemed to
depart from her prospect. She would hardly know how to open her
mouth before her late friend. She suspected that Lady Albury
knew with what purpose the Colonel had taken her out in the shrubbery,
and she would not dare to look Lady Albury in the face. How should
she answer Nina if Nina were to ask her questions about the walk.
The hunt for next Wednesday was no longer a delight to which
she could look forward. How would it be possible that Colonel
Stubbs should direct her now as to her riding, and instruct her
as to her conduct in the hunting field? It would be better for
her that she should return at once to Kingsbury Crescent.
As she thought of this there did come upon her a reflection that
had she been able to accept Colonel Stubbs's offer there would
have been an end for ever to the miseries of her aunt's house.
She would have been lifted at once into the mode of life in which
the man lived. Instead of being a stranger admitted by special
grace into such an Elysium as that of Stalham Park, she would
become one of those to whom such an Elysium belonged almost of
right. By her own gifts she would have won her way into that
upper and brighter life which seemed to her to be all smiles
and all joy. As to his income she thought nothing and cared nothing.
He lived with men who had horses and carriages, and who spent
their time in pleasurable pursuits. And she would live amidst
ladies who were always arrayed in bright garments, who, too,
had horses and carriages at their command, and were never troubled
by these sordid cares which made life at Kingsbury Crescent so
sad and tedious. One little word would have done it all for her,
would have enabled her to take the step by which she would be
placed among the bright ones of the earth.
But the remembrance of all this only made her firmer in her resolution.
If there was any law of right and wrong fixed absolutely in her
bosom, it was this -- that no question of happiness or unhappiness,
of suffering or joy, would affect her duty to the Angel of Light.
She owed herself to him should he come to seek her. She owed
herself to him no less, even should he fail to come. And she
owed herself equally whether he should be rich or poor. As she
was fortifying herself with these assurances Nina came to ask
her whether she would not come down to tea. Ayala pleaded headache,
and said that she would rest till dinner. "Has anything happened?"
asked Nina. Ayala simply begged that she might be asked no questions
then, because her head was aching. "If you do not tell me everything,
I shall think you are no true friend," said Nina, as she left
the room.
As evening drew on she dressed for dinner, and went down into
the drawing-room. In doing so it was necessary to pass through
the billiard-room, and there she found Colonel Stubbs, knocking
about the balls. "Are you dressed for dinner?" he exclaimed;
"I haven't begun to think of it yet, and Sir Harry hates a man
when he comes in late. That wretch Batsby has beaten me four
games." With that he rushed off, putting down the cue with a
rattle, and seeming to Ayala to have recovered altogether from
the late prostration of his spirits.
In the drawing-room Ayala was for a few minutes alone, and then,
as she was glad to see, three or four ladies all came in at once,
so that no question could be asked her by Lady Albury. They went
into dinner without the Colonel, who was in truth late, and she
was taken in by Mr Gosling, whose pretty little wife was just
opposite to her. On the other side of her sat Lord Rufford, who
had come to Stalham with his wife for a day or two, and who immediately
began to congratulate her on the performance of the day before.
"I am told you jumped the Cranbury Brook," he said. "I should
as soon think of jumping the Serpentine."
"I did it because somebody told me."
"Ah," said Lord Rufford, with a sigh, "there is nothing like
ignorance, innocence, and youth combined. But why didn't Colonel
Stubbs get over after you?"
"Because Colonel Stubbs couldn't," said that gentleman, as he
took his seat in the vacant chair.
"It may be possible", said Sir Harry, "that a gentleman should
not be able to jump over Cranbury Brook; but any gentleman, if
he will take a little trouble, may come down in time for dinner."
"Now that I have been duly snubbed right and left", said the
Colonel, "perhaps I may eat my soup."
Ayala, who had expected she hardly knew what further troubles,
and who had almost feared that nobody would speak to her because
she had misbehaved herself, endeavoured to take heart of grace
when she found that all around her, including the Colonel himself,
were as pleasant as ever. She had fancied that Lady Albury had
looked at her specially when Colonel Stubbs took his seat, and
she had specially noticed the fact that his chair had not been
next her own. These little matters she was aware Lady Albury
managed herself, and was aware also that in accordance with the
due rotation of things she and the Colonel should have been placed
together. She was glad that it was not so, but at the same time
she was confident that Lady Albury knew something of what had
passed between herself and her suitor. The evening, however,
went off easily, and nothing occurred to disturb her except that
the Colonel had called her by her Christian name, when as usual
he brought to her a cup of tea in the drawing-room. Oh, that
he would continue to do so, and yet not demand from her more
than their old friendship!
The next morning was Sunday, and they all went to church. It
was a law at Stalham that every one should go to church on Sunday
morning. Sir Harry himself, who was not supposed to be a peculiarly
religious man, was always angry when any male guest did not show
himself in the enormous family pew. "I call it d -- indecent,"
he has been heard to say. But nobody was expected to go twice
-- and consequently nobody ever did go twice. Lunch was protracted
later than usual. The men would roam about the grounds with cigars
in their mouths, and ladies would take to reading in their own
rooms, in following which occupation they would spend a considerable
part of the afternoon asleep. On this afternoon Lady Albury did
not go to sleep, but contrived to get Ayala alone upstairs into
her little sittingroom. "Ayala," she said, with something between
a smile and a frown, "I am afraid I am going to be angry with
you."
"Please don't be angry, Lady Albury."
"If I am right in what I surmise, you had an offer made to you
yesterday which ought to satisfy the heart of almost any girl
in England." Here she paused, but Ayala had not a word to say
for herself. "If it was so, the best man I know asked you to
share his fortune with him."
"Has he told you?"
"But he did?"
"I shall not tell," said Ayala, proudly.
"I know he did. I knew that it was his intention before. Are
you aware what kind of man is my cousin, Jonathan Stubbs? Has
it occurred to you that in truth and gallantry, in honour, honesty,
courage and real tenderness, he is so perfect as to be quite
unlike to the crowd of men you see?"
"I do know that he is good," said Ayala.
"Good! Where will you find anyone good like him? Compare him
to the other men around him, and then say whether he is good!
Can it be possible that you should refuse the love of such a
man as that?"
"I don't think I ought to be made to talk about it," said Ayala,
hesitating.
"My dear, it is for your own sake and for his. When you go away
from here it may be so difficult for him to see you again."
"I don't suppose he will ever want," said Ayala.
"It is sufficient that he wants it now. What better can you expect
for yourself?"
"I expect nothing," said Ayala, proudly. "I have got nothing,
and I expect nothing."
"He will give you everything, simply because he loves you. My
dear, I should not take the trouble to tell you all this, did
I not know that he is a man who ought to be accepted when he
asks such a request as that. Your happiness would be safe in
his hands." She paused, but Ayala had not a word to say. "And
he is not a man likely to renew such a request. He is too proud
for that. I can conceive no possible reason for such a refusal
unless it be that you are engaged. If there be someone else,
then of course there must be an end of it."
"There is no one else."
"Then, my dear, with your prospects it is sheer folly. When the
General dies he will have over two thousand a year."
"As if that had anything to do with it!" said Ayala, holding
herself aloft in her wrath, and throwing angry glances at the
lady.
"It is what I call romance," said Lady Albury. "Romance can never
make you happy."
"At any rate it is not riches. What you call romance may be what
I like best. At any rate if I do not love Colonel Stubbs I am
sure I ought not to marry him -- and I won't."
After this there was nothing further to be said. Ayala thought
that she would be turned out of the room -- almost out of the
house, in disgrace. But Lady Albury, who was simply playing her
part, was not in the least angry. "Well, my dear," she said,
"pray -- pray, think better of it. I am in earnest, of course,
because of my cousin -- because he seems to have put his heart
upon it. He is just the man to be absolutely in love when he
is in love. But I would not speak as I do unless I were sure
that he would make you happy. My cousin Jonathan is to me the
finest hero that I know. When a man is a hero he shouldn't be
broken-hearted for want of a woman's smiles -- should he?"
"She ought not to smile unless she loves him," said Ayala, as
she left the room.
The Monday and Tuesday went very quietly. Lady Albury said nothing
more on the great subject, and the Colonel behaved himself exactly
as though there had been no word of love at all. There was nothing
special said about the Wednesday's hunt through the two days,
till Ayala almost thought that there would be no hunt for her.
Nor, indeed, did she much wish for it. It had been the Colonel
who had instigated her to deeds of daring, and under his sanction
that she had ventured to ride. She would hardly know how to go
through the Wednesday -- whether still to trust him, or whether
to hold herself aloof from him. When nothing was said on the
subject till late on the evening of the Tuesday, she had almost
resolved that she would not put on her habit when the morning
came. But just as she was about to leave the drawing-room with
her bed-candle Colonel Stubbs came to her. "Most of us ride to
the meet tomorrow," he said; "but you and Nina shall be taken
in the waggonette so as to save you a little. It is all arranged."
She bowed and thanked him, going to bed almost sorry that it
should have been so settled. When the morning came Nina could
not ride. She had hurt her foot, and, coming early into Ayala's
room, declared with tears that she could not go. "Then neither
shall I," said Ayala, who was at that moment preparing to put
on her habit.
"But you must. It is all settled, and Sir Harry would be offended
if you did not go. What has Jonathan done that you should refuse
to ride with him because I am lame?"
"Nothing," said Ayala.
"Oh, Ayala, do tell me. I should tell you everything. Of course
you must hunt whatever it is. Even though he should have offered
and you refused him, of course you must go."
"Must I?" said Ayala.
"Then you have refused him?"
"I have. Oh, Nina, pray do not speak of it. Do not think of it
if you can help it. Why should everything be disturbed because
I have been a fool?"
"Then you think you have been a fool?"
"Other people think so; but if so I shall at any rate be constant
to my folly. What I mean is, that it has been done, and should
be passed over as done with. I am quite sure that I ought not
to be scolded; but Lady Albury did scold me." Then they went
down together to breakfast, Ayala having prepared herself properly
for the hunting field.
In the waggonette there were with her Lady Albury, Mrs Gosling,
and Nina, who was not prevented by her lameness from going to
the meet. The gentlemen all rode, so that there was no immediate
difficulty as to Colonel Stubbs. But when she had been put on
her horse by his assistance and found herself compelled to ride
away from the carriage, apparently under his especial guidance
her heart misgave her, and she thoroughly wished that she was
at home in the Crescent. Though she was specially under his guidance
there were at first others close around her, and, while they
were on the road going to the covert which they were to draw,
conversation was kept up so that it was not necessary for her
to speak -- but what should she do when she should find herself
alone with him as would certain!y be the case? It soon was the
case. The hounds were at work in a large wood in which she was
told they might possibly pass the best part of the day, and it
was not long before the men had dispersed themselves, some on
this side some on that, and she found herself with no one near
her but the Colonel. "Ayala," he said, "of course you know it
is my duty to look after you, and to do it better if I can than
I did on Friday."
"I understand," she said.
"Do not let any remembrance of that walk on Saturday interfere
with your happiness today. Who knows when you may be out hunting
again?"
"Never!" she said; "I don't suppose I shall ever hunt again."
"Carpe diem," he said laughing. "Do you know what 'carpe diem'
means?"
"It is Latin perhaps."
"Yes; and therefore you are not supposed to understand it. This
is what it means. As an hour for joy has come, do not let any
trouble interfere with it. Let it all be, for this day at least,
as though there had been no walk in the Stalham Woods. There
is Larry Twentyman. If I break down as I did on Friday you may
always trust to him. Larry and you are old friends now."
"Carpe diem," she said to herself. "Oh, yes; if it were only
possible. How is one to carpe diem with one's heart full of troubles?"
And it was the less possible because this man whom she had rejected
was so anxious to do everything for her happiness. Lady Albury
had told her that he was a hero -- that he was perfect in honour,
honesty, and gallantry,; and she felt inclined to own that Lady
Albury was almost right. Yet -- yet how far was he from that
image of manly perfection which her daily thoughts had created
for her! Could she have found an appropriate word with which
to thank him she would have done so; but there was no such word;
and Larry Twentyman was now with them, taking off his hat and
overflowing with compliments. "Oh, Miss Dormer, I am so delighted
to see you out again."
"How is the baby, Mr Twentyman?"
"Brisk as a bee, and hungry as a hunter."
"And how is Mrs Twentyman?"
"Brisker and hungrier than the baby. What do you think of the
day, Colonel?"
"A very good sort of day, Twentyman, if we were anywhere out
of these big woods." Larry shook his head solemnly. The Mudcombe
Woods in which they were now at work had been known to occupy
Tony Tappett and his whole pack from eleven o'clock till the
dusk of evening. "We've got to draw them, of course," continued
the Colonel. Then Mr Twentyman discoursed at some length on the
excellence of Mudcombe Woods. What would any county be without
a nursery for young foxes? Gorse-coverts, hedgerows, and little
spinneys would be of no avail unless there were some grandly
wild domain in which maternal and paternal foxes could roam in
comparative security. All this was just as Ayala would have it,
because it enabled her to ask questions, and saved her from subjects
which might be painful to her.
The day, in truth, was not propitious to hunting even. Foxes
were found in plenty, and two of them were killed within the
recesses of the wood; but on no occasion did they run a mile
into the open. For Ayala it was very well, because she was galloping
hither and thither, and because before the day was over, she
found herself able to talk to the Colonel in her wonted manner;
but there was no great glory for her as had been the glory of
Little Cranbury Brook.
On the next morning she was taken back to London and handed over
to her aunt in Kingsbury Crescent without another word having
been spoken by Colonel Stubbs in reference to his love.
"I have had a letter from Lady Albury," said Aunt Margaret, almost
as soon as Ayala had taken off her hat and cloak.
"Yes, I know, Aunt Margaret. She wrote to ask that I might stay
for four more days. I hope it was not wrong."
"I have had another letter since that, on Monday about it; I
have determined to show it you. There it is. You had better read
it by yourself, and I will come to you again in half an hour."
Then, very solemnly, but with no trace of ill-humour, Mrs Dosett
left the room. There was something in her tone and gait so exceedingly
solemn that Ayala was almost frightened. Of course, the letter
must be about Colonel Stubbs, and, of course, the writer of it
would find fault with her. She was conscious that she was adding
one to her terribly long list of sins in not consenting to marry
Colonel Stubbs. It was her misfortune that all her friends found
fault with everything that she did. Among them there was not
one, not even Nina, who fully sympathised with her. Not even
to Lucy could she expatiate with a certainty of sympathy in regard
to the Angel of Light. And now, though her aunt was apparently
not angry -- only solemn -- she felt already sure that she was
to be told that it was her duty to marry Colonel Stubbs. It was
only the other day that her aunt was preaching to her as to the
propriety of marrying her cousin Tom. It seemed, she said to
herself, that people thought that a girl was bound to marry any
man who could provide a house for her, and bread to eat, and
clothes to wear. All this passed through her mind as she slowly
drew Lady Albury's letter from the envelope and prepared to read
it. The letter was as follows:
Albury, Monday, 18th November, 187 --
DEAR MADAM,
Your niece will return to you, as you request, on Thursday, but
before she reaches you I think it my duty to inform you of a
little circumstance which has occurred here. My cousin, Colonel
Jonathan Stubbs, who is also the nephew of the Marchesa Baldoni,
has made Miss Dormer an offer. I am bound to add that I did not
think it improbable that it would be so, when I called on your
husband, and begged him to allow your niece to come to us. I
did not then know my cousin's intention as a fact. I doubt whether
he knew it himself; but from what I had heard I thought it probable,
and, as I conceive that any young lady would be fortunate in
becoming my cousin's wife, I had no scruple.
He has proposed to her, and she has rejected him. He has set
his heart upon the matter, and I am most anxious that he should
succeed, because I know him to be a man who will not easily brook
disappointment where he has set his heart. Of all men I know
he is the most steadfast in his purpose.
I took the liberty of speaking to your niece on the subject,
and am disposed to think that she is deterred by some feeling
of foolish romance, partly because she does not like the name,
partly because my cousin is not a handsome man in a girl's eyes
-- more probably, however, she has built up to herself some poetic
fiction, and dreams of she knows not what. If it be so, it is
a pity that she should lose an opportunity of settling herself
well and happily in life. She gave as a reason that she did not
love him. My experience is not so long as yours, perhaps, but
such as I have has taught me to think that a wife will love her
husband when she finds herself used well at all points. Mercenary
marriages are, of course, bad; but it is a pity, I think, that
a girl, such as your niece, should lose the chance of so much
happiness by a freak of romance.
Colonel Stubbs, who is only twenty-eight years of age, has a
staff appointment at Aldershot. He has private means of his own,
on which alone he would be justified in marrying. On the death
of his uncle, General Stubbs, he will inherit a considerable
accession of fortune. He is not, of course, a rich man; but he
has ample for the wants of a family. In all other good gifts,
temper, manliness, truth, and tenderness, I know no one to excel
him. I should trust any young friend of my own into his hands
with perfect safety.
I have thought it right to tell you this. You will use your own
judgment in saying what you think fit to your niece. Should she
be made to understand that her own immediate friends approve
of the offer, she would probably be induced to accept it. I have
not heard my cousin say what may be his future plans. I think
it possible that, as he is quite in earnest, he will not take
one repulse. Should he ask again, I hope that your niece may
receive him with altered views.
Pray believe me to be, my dear Madam,
Yours sincerely,
ROSALINE ALBURY
Ayala read the letter twice over before her aunt returned to
her, and, as she read it, felt something of a feeling of renewed
kindness come upon her in reference to the writer of it -- not
that she was in the least changed in her own resolution, but
that she liked Lady Albury for wishing to change her. The reasons
given, however, were altogether impotent with her. Colonel Stubbs
had the means of keeping a wife! If that were a reason then also
ought she to marry her cousin, Tom Tringle. Colonel Stubbs was
good and true; but so also very probably was Tom Tringle. She
would not compare the two men. She knew that her cousin Tom was
altogether distasteful to her, while she took delight in the
companionship of the Colonel. But the reasons for marrying one
were to her thinking as strong as for marrying the other. There
could be only one valid excuse for marriage -- that of adoring
the man -- and she was quite sure that she did not adore Colonel
Jonathan Stubbs. Lady Albury had said in her letter, that a girl
would be sure to love a man who treated her well after marriage;
but that would not suffice for her. Were she to marry at all,
it would be necessary that she should love the man before her
marriage.
"Have you read the letter, my dear?" said Mrs Dosett; as she
entered the room and closed the door carefully behind her. She
spoke almost in a whisper, and seemed to be altogether changed
by the magnitude of the occasion.
"Yes, Aunt Margaret, I have read it."
"I suppose it is true?"
"True! It is true in part."
"You did meet this Colonel Stubbs?"
"Oh, yes; I met him."
"And you had met him before?"
"Yes, Aunt Margaret. He used to come to Brook Street. He is the
Marchesa's nephew."
"Did he -- " This question Aunt Margaret asked in a very low
whisper, and her most solemn voice. "Did he make love to you
in Brook Street?"
"No," said Ayala sharply.
"Not at all?"
"Not at all. I never thought of such a thing. I never dreamed
of such a thing when he began talking to me out in the woods
at Stalham on Saturday."
"Had you been -- been on friendly terms with him?"
"Very friendly terms. We were quite friends, and used to talk
about all manner of things. I was very fond of him, and never
afraid of anything that he said to me. He was Nina's cousin and
seemed almost to be my cousin too."
"Then you do like him?"
"Of course I do. Everybody must like him. But that is no reason
why I should want to marry him."
Upon this Mrs Dosett sat silent for awhile turning the great
matter over in her thoughts. It was quite clear to her that every
word which Ayala had spoken was true; and probable also that
Lady Albury's words were true. In her inmost thoughts she regarded
Ayala as a fool. Here was a girl who had not a shilling of her
own, who was simply a burden on relatives whom she did not especially
love, who was doomed to a life which was essentially distasteful
to her -- for all this in respect to herself and her house Mrs
Dosett had sense enough to acknowledge -- who seemed devoted
to the society of rich and gay people, and yet would not take
the opportunities that were offered her of escaping what she
disliked and going to that which she loved! Two offers had now
been made to her, both of them thoroughly eligible, to neither
of which would objection have been made by any of the persons
concerned. Sir Thomas had shown himself to be absolutely anxious
for the success of his son. And now it seemed that the grand
relations of this Colonel Stubbs were in favour of the match.
What it was in Ayala that entitled her to such promotion Mrs
Dosett did not quite perceive. To her eyes her niece was a fantastic
girl, pretty indeed, but not endowed with that regular tranquil
beauty which she thought to be of all feminine graces the most
attractive. Why Tom Tringle should have been so deeply smitten
with Ayala had been a marvel to her; and now this story of Colonel
Stubbs was a greater marvel. "Ayala," she said, "you ought to
think better of it."
"Think better of what, Aunt Margaret?"
"You have seen what this Lady Albury says about her cousin, Colonel
Stubbs."
"What has that to do with it?"
"You believe what she says? If so why should you not accept him?"
"Because I can't," said Ayala.
"Have you any idea what is to become of your future life?" said
Mrs Dosett, very gravely.
"Not in the least," said Ayala. But that was a fib, because she
had an idea that in the fullness of time it would be her heavenly
fate to put her hand into that of the Angel of Light.
"Gentlemen won't come running after you always, my dear."
This was almost as bad as being told by her Aunt Emmeline that
she had encouraged her cousin Tom.
"It's a great shame to say that. I don't want anybody to run
after me. I never did."
"No, my dear; no. I don't think that you ever did."
Mrs Dosett, who was justice itself, did acknowledge to herself
that of any such fault as that suggested, Ayala was innocent.
Her fault was quite in the other direction, and consisted of
an unwillingness to settle herself and to free her relations
of the burden of maintaining her when proper opportunities arose
for doing so. "I only want to explain to you that people must
-- must -- must make their hay while the sun shines. You are
young now."
"I am not one-and-twenty yet," said Ayala, proudly.
"One-and-twenty is a very good time for a girl to marry --
that is to say if a proper sort of gentleman asks her."
"I don't think I ought to be scolded because they don't seem
to me to be the proper sort. I don't want anybody to come. Nobody
ought to be talked to about it at all. If I cared about anyone
that you or Uncle Reginald did not approve, then you might talk
to me. But I don't think that anything ought to be said about
anybody unless I like him myself." So the conversation was over,
and Mrs Dosett felt that she had been entirely vanquished.
Lady Albury's letter was shown to Mr Dosett but he refused to
say a word to his niece on the subject.
In the argument which followed between him and his wife he took
his niece's part, opposing altogether that idea that hay should
be made while the sun shines. "It simply means selling herself,"
declared Mr Dosett.
"That is nonsense, Reginald. Of course such a girl as Ayala has
to do the best she can with her good looks. What else has she
to depend upon?"
"My brother-in-law will do something for her."
"I hope he will -- though I do not think that a very safe reed
to depend upon as she has twice offended him. But of course a
girl thinks of marrying. Ayala would be very much disgusted if
she were told that she was to be an old maid, and live upon £100
a year supplied by Sir Thomas's bounty. It might have been that
she would have to do it -- but now that chances are open she
ought to take them. She should choose between her cousin Tom
and this Colonel Stubbs; and you should tell her that, if she
will not, you will no longer be responsible for her."
To this Mr Dosett turned altogether a deaf ear. He was quite
sure that his responsibility must be continued till Ayala should
marry, or till he should die, and he would not make a threat
which he would certainly be unable to carry out. He would be
very glad if Ayala could bring herself to marry either of the
young men. It was a pity that she should feel herself compelled
to refuse offers so excellent. But it was a matter for her own
judgment, and one in which he would not interfere. For two days
this almost led to a coldness between the man and his wife, during
which the sufferings of poor Mrs Dosett were heartrending.
Not many days after Ayala's return her sister Lucy came to see
her. Certain reasons had caused Lady Tringle to stay at Glenbogie
longer than usual, and the family was now passing through London
on their way to Merle Park. Perhaps it was the fact that the
Trafficks had been effectually extruded from Glenbogie, but would
doubtless turn up at Merle Park, should Lady Tringle take up
her residence there before the autumn was over. That they should
spend their Christmas at Merle Park was an acknowledged thing
-- to mamma Tringle an acknowledged benefit, because she liked
to have her daughter with her; to papa Tringle an acknowledged
evil, because he could not endure to be made to give more than
he intended to give. That they should remain there afterwards
through January, and till the meeting of Parliament, was to be
expected. But it was hoped that they might be driven to find
some home for themselves if they were left homeless by Sir Thomas
for a while. The little plan was hardly successful, as Mr Traffick
had put his wife into lodgings at Hastings, ready to pounce down
on Merle Park as soon as Lady Tringle should have occupied the
house a few days. Lady Tringle was now going there with the rest
of the family, Sir Thomas having been in town for the last six
weeks.
Lucy took advantage of the day which they passed in London, and
succeeded in getting across to the Crescent. At this time she
had heard nothing of Colonel Stubbs, and was full indeed of her
own troubles.
"You haven't seen him?" she said to her sister.
"Seen who?" asked Ayala, who had two "hims" to her bow -- and
thought at the moment rather of her own two "hims" than of Lucy's
one.
"Isadore. He said that he would call here." Ayala explained that
she had not seen him, having been absent from town during the
last ten days -- during which Mr Hamel had in fact called at
the house. "Ayala," concluded Lucy, "what am I to do?"
"Stick to him," said Ayala, firmly.
"Of course I shall. But Aunt Emmeline thinks that I ought to
give him up or -- "
"Or what?"
"Or go away," said Lucy, very gravely.
"Where would you go to?"
"Oh, where indeed? Of course he would have me, but it would be
ruin to him to marry a wife without a penny when he earns only
enough for his own wants. His father has quarrelled with him
altogether. He says that nobody can prevent our being married
if we please, and that he is quite ready to make a home for me
instantly; but I know that last year he hardly earned more than
two hundred pounds after paying all his expenses, and were I
to take him at his word I should ruin him."
"Would Uncle Tom turn you out?"
"He has been away almost ever since Mr Hamel came to Glenbogie,
and I do not know what he will say. Aunt Emmeline declares that
I can only stay with them just as though I were her daughter,
and that a daughter would be bound to obey her."
"Does Gertrude obey her about Mr Houston?"
"Gertrude has her own way with her mother altogether. And of
course a daughter cannot really be turned out. If she tells me
to go I suppose I must go."
"I should ask Uncle Tom," said Ayala. "She could not make you
go out into the street. When she had to get rid of me, she could
send me here in exchange; but she can't say now that you don't
suit, and have me back again."
"Oh, Ayala, it is so miserable. I feel that I do not know what
to do with myself."
"Nor do I," said Ayala, jumping up from the bed on which she
was sitting. "It does seem to be so cross-grained. Nobody will
let you marry, and everybody will make me."
"Do they still trouble you about Tom?"
"It is not Tom now, Lucy. Another man has come up."
"As a lover?"
"Oh, yes; quite so. His name is -- such a name, Lucy -- his name
is Colonel Jonathan Stubbs."
"That is Isadore's friend -- the man who lives at Drumcaller.
"Exactly. He told me that Mr Hamel was at Drumcaller with him.
And now he wants me to be his wife."
"Do you not like him?"
"That is the worst part of it all, Lucy. If I did not like him
I should not mind it half so much. It is just because I like
him so very much that I am so very unhappy. "His hair is just
the colour of Aunt Emmeline's big shawl."
"What does that signify?"
"And his mouth stretches almost from ear to ear."
"I shouldn't care a bit for his mouth."
"I don't think I do much, because he does look so good-natured
when he laughs. Indeed he is always the most good-natured man
that ever lived."
"Has he got an income enough for marriage?" asked Lucy, whose
sorrows were already springing from that most fertile source
of sorrowing.
"Plenty they tell me -- though I do not in the least know what
plenty means."
"Then, Ayala, why should you not have him?"
"Because I can't," said Ayala. "How is a girl to love a man if
she does not love him? Liking has nothing to do with it. You
don't think liking ought to have anything to do with it?"
This question had not been answered when Aunt Margaret came into
the room, declaring that the Tringle manservant, who had walked
across the park with Miss Dormer, was waxing impatient. The sisters,
therefore, were separated, and Lucy returned to Queen's Gate.
"I tell you fairly that I think you altogether wrong -- that
it is cowardly, unmanly, and disgraceful. I don't mean, you see,
to put what you call a fine point upon it."
"No, you don't."
"It is one of those matters on which a person must speak the
truth or not speak at all. I should not have spoken unless you
forced it upon me. You don't care for her in the least."
"That's true. I do not know that I am especially quick at what
you call caring for young ladies. If I care for anybody it is
for you."
"I suppose so; but that may as well be dropped for the present.
You mean to marry this girl simply because she has got a lot
of money?"
"Exactly that -- as you before long will marry some gentleman
only because he has got money."
"You have no right to say so because I am engaged to no man.
But if I were so it is quite different. Unless I marry I can
be nobody. I can have no existence that I can call my own. I
have no other way of pushing myself into the world's notice.
You are a man."
"You mean to say that I could become a merchant or a lawyer --
be a Lord Chancellor in time, or perhaps an Archbishop of Canterbury."
"You can live and eat and drink and go where you wish without
being dependent on anyone. If I had your freedom and your means
do you think that I would marry for money?"
In this dialogue the main part was taken by Mr Frank Houston,
whose ambition it was to marry Miss Gertrude Tringle, and the
lady's part by his cousin and intimate friend, Miss Imogene Docimer.
The scene was a walk through a pine forest on the southern slopes
of the Tyrolean Alps, and the occasion had been made a little
more exhilarating than usual by the fact that Imogene had been
strongly advised both by her brother, Mr Mudbury Docimer, and
by her sister-in law, Mrs Mudbury Docimer, not to take any more
distant rambles with her far-away cousin Frank Houston. In the
teeth of that advice this walk was taken, and the conversation
in the pine wood had at the present moment arrived at the point
above given.
"I do not know that any two persons were ever further asunder
in an argument than you and I in this," said Frank, not in the
least disconcerted by the severe epithets which had been applied
to him. "I conceive that you are led away by a desire to deceive
yourself, whereas hypocrisy should only be used with the object
of deceiving others."
"How do I deceive myself?"
"In making believe that men are generally different from what
they are -- in trying to suppose that I ought to be, if I am
not, a hero. You shall not find a man whose main object is not
that of securing an income. The clergyman who preaches against
gold licks the ground beneath the minister's feet in order that
he may become a bishop. The barrister cares not with what case
he may foul his hands so long as he may become rich. The man
in trade is so aware of his own daily dishonesty that he makes
two separate existences for himself, and endeavours to atone
for his rascality in the City by his performance of all duties
at the West End. I regard myself to be so infinitely cleaner
in my conscience than other men that I could not bring myself
to be a bishop, an attorney-general, or a great merchant. Of
all the ways open to me this seems to me to be the least sordid.
I give her the only two things which she desires -- myself and
a position. She will give me the only thing I desire, which is
some money. When you marry you'll make an equally fine bargain
-- only your wares will be your beauty."
"You will not give her yourself -- not your heart."
"Yes, I shall. I shall make the most of her, and shall do so
by becoming as fond of her as I can. Of course I like breeding.
Of course I like beauty. Of course I like that aroma of feminine
charm which can only be produced by a mixture of intellect, loveliness,
taste, and early association. I don't pretend to say that my
future would not be much sweeter before me with you as my wife
-- if only either of us had a sufficiency of income. I acknowledge
that. But then I acknowledge also that I prefer Miss Tringle,
with £100,000, to you with nothing; and I do not think that
I ought to be called unmanly, disgraceful, and a coward, because
I have courage enough to speak the truth openly to a friend whom
I trust. My theory of life shocks you, not because it is uncommon,
but because it is not commonly declared."
They were silent for a while as they went on through the path,
and then Miss Docimer spoke to him in an altered voice. "I must
ask you not to speak to me again as one who by any possibility
could have been your wife."
"Very well. You will not wish me to abandon the privilege of
thinking of past possibilities?"
"I would -- if it were possible."
"Quite impossible! One's thoughts, I imagine, are always supposed
to be one's own."
"You know what I mean. A gentleman will always spare a woman
if he can do so; and there are cases such as have been ours,
in which it is a most imperative duty to do so. You should not
have followed us when you had made up your mind about this young
lady."
"I took care to let you know, beforehand, that I intended it."
"You should not have thrown the weight upon me. You should not
even have written to me."
"I wonder what you would have said then -- how loudly you would
have abused me -- had I not written! Would you not have told
me then that I had not the courage to be open with you?" He paused
for an answer, but she made none. "But I do recognize the necessity
of my becoming subject to abuse in this state of affairs. I have
been in no respect false, nor in any way wanting in affection.
When I suggested to you that 600 pounds a year between us, with
an increasing family, and lodgings in Marylebone, would be uncomfortable,
you shuddered at the prospect. When I explained to you that you
would have the worst of it because my club would be open to me,
you were almost angry with me because I seemed to imply that
there could be any other than one decision."
"There could only be one decision -- unless you were man enough
to earn your bread."
"But I wasn't. But I ain't. You might as well let that accident
pass, sans dire. Was there ever a moment in which you thought
that I should earn my bread?"
"Never for a moment did I endow you with the power of doing anything
so manly."
"Then why throw it in my teeth now? That is not fair. However,
I do own that I have to be abused. I don't see any way in which
you and I are to part without it. But you need not descend to
Billingsgate."
"I have not descended to Billingsgate, Mr Houston."
"Upper-world Billingsgate! Cowardice, as an accusation from a
woman to a man, is upper-world Billingsgate. But it doesn't matter.
Of course I know what it means. Do you think your brother wants
me to go away at once?"
"At once," she said.
"That would be disagreeable and absurd. You mean to sit to me
for that head?"
"Certainly not."
"I cannot in the least understand why not. What has a question
of art to do with marriage or giving in marriage? And why should
Mrs Docimer be so angry with me, when she has known the truth
all along?"
"There are questions which it is of no avail to answer. I have
come out with you now because I thought it well that we should
have a final opportunity of understanding each other. You understand
me at any rate."
"Perfectly," he said. "You have taken especial care on this occasion
to make yourself intelligible."
"So I intended. And as you do understand me, and know how far
I am from approving your philosophy, you can hardly wish to remain
with us longer." Then they walked on together in absolute silence
for above a mile. They had come out of the wood, and were descending,
by a steep and narrow path, to the village in which stood the
hotel at which the party was staying. Another ten minutes would
take them down to the high road. The path here ran by the side
of a rivulet, the course of which was so steep that the waters
made their way down in a succession of little cataracts. From
the other side of the path was a fence, so close to it, that
on this particular spot there was room only for one to walk.
Here Frank Houston stepped in front of his companion, so as to
stop her. "Imogene," he said, "if it is intended that I am to
start by the diligence for Innsbruck this evening, you had better
bid me farewell at once."
"I have bidden you farewell," she said.
"Then you have done it in so bitter a mood that you had better
try your hand at it again. Heaven only knows in what manner you
or I may meet again."
"What does it matter?" she asked.
"I have always felt that the hearts of men are softer than the
hearts of women. A woman's hand is soft, but she can steel her
heart when she thinks it necessary, as no man can do. Does it
occur to you at this moment that there has been some true affection
between you and me in former days?"
"I wish it did not."
"It may be so that I wish it also but there is the fact. No wishing
will enable me to get rid of it. No wishing will save me from
the memory of early dreams and sweet longings and vain triumphs.
There is the remembrance of bright glory made very sad to me
by the meanness of the existing truth. I do not say but that
I would obliterate it if I could; but it is not to be obliterated;
the past will not be made more pleasant to me by any pretence
of present indignation. I should have thought that it would have
been the same with you."
"There has been no glory," she said, "though I quite acknowledge
the meanness."
"There has been at any rate some love."
"Misplaced. You had better let me pass on. I have, as you say,
steeled myself. I will not condescend to any tenderness. In my
brother's presence and my sister's I will wish you goodbye and
express a hope that you may be successful in your enterprises.
Here, by the brook-side, out upon the mountain path, where there
is no one to hear us but our two selves, I will bid you no farewell
softer than that already spoken. Go and do as you propose. You
have my leave. When it shall have been done there shall never
be a word spoken by me against it. But, when you ask me whether
you are right, I will only say that I think you to be wrong.
It may be that you owe nothing to me; but you owe something to
her, and something also to yourself. Now, Mr Houston, I shall
be glad to pass on."
He shrugged his shoulders and then stepped out of the path, thinking
as he did so how ignorant he had been, after all that had passed,
of much of the character of Imogene Docimer. It could not be,
he had thought, but that she would melt into softness at last.
"I will not condescend to any tenderness," she had said, and
it seemed that she would be as good as her word. He then walked
down before her in silence, and in silence they reached the inn.
"Mr Houston," said Mrs Docimer, before they sat down to dinner
together, "I thought it was understood that you and Imogene should
not go out alone together again."
"I have taken my place to Innsbruck by the diligence this evening,"
he answered.
"Perhaps it will be better so, though both Mudbury and I will
be sorry to lose your company."
"Yes, Mrs Docimer, I have taken my place. Your sister seemed
to think that there would be great danger if I waited till tomorrow
morning when I could have got a pleasant lift in a return carriage.
I hate travelling at night and I hate diligences. I was quite
prepared to post all the way, though it would have ruined me
-- only for this accursed diligence."
"I am sorry you should be inconvenienced."
"It does not signify. What a man without a wife may suffer in
that way never does signify. It's just fourteen hours. You wouldn't
like Docimer to come with me."
"That's nonsense. You needn't go the whole way unless you like.
You could sleep at Brunecken."
"Brunecken is only twelve miles, and it might be dangerous."
"Of course you choose to turn everything into ridicule."
"Better that than tears, Mrs Docimer. What's the good of crying?
I can't make myself an elder son. I can't endow Imogene with
a hundred thousand pounds. She told me just now that I might
earn my bread, but she knows that I can't. It's very sad. But
what can be got by being melancholy?"
"At any rate you had better be away from her."
"I am going -- this evening. Shall I walk on, half a stage, at
once, without any dinner? I wish you had heard the kind of things
she said to me. You would not have thought that I had gone to
walk with her for my own pleasure."
"Have you not deserved them?"
"I think not -- but nevertheless I bore them. A woman, of course,
can say what she pleases. There's Docimer -- I hope he won't
call me a coward."
Mr Docimer came out on the terrace, on which the two were standing,
looking as sour as death. "He is going by the diligence to Innsbruck
this afternoon," said Mrs Docimer.
"Why did he come? A man with a grain of feeling would have remained
away."
"Now, Docimer," said Frank, "pray do not make yourself unpleasant.
Your sister has been abusing me all the morning like a pickpocket,
and your wife looks at me as though she would say just as much
if she dared. After all, what is it I have done that you think
so wicked?"
"What will everybody think at home", said Mrs Docimer, "when
they know that you're with us again? What chance is she to have
if you follow her about in this way?"
"I shall not follow her very long," said Frank. "My wings will
soon be cut, and then I shall never fly again." They were at
this time walking up and down the terrace together, and it seemed
for a while that neither of them had another word to say in the
matter of the dispute between them. Then Houston went on again
in his own defence. "Of course it is all bad," he said. "Of course
we have all been fools. You knew it, and allowed it; and have
no right to say a word to me."
"We thought that when your uncle died there would have been money,"
said Docimer, with a subdued growl.
"Exactly; and so did I. You do not mean to say that I deceived
either you or her?"
"There should have been an end of it when that hope was over."
"Of course there should. There should never have been a dream
that she or I could marry on six hundred a year. Had not all
of us been fools, we should have taken our hats off and bade
each other farewell for ever when the state of the old man's
affairs was known. We were fools; but we were fools together;
and none of us have a right to abuse the others. When I became
acquainted with this young lady at Rome, it had been settled
among us that Imogene and I must seek our fortunes apart."
"Then why did you come after her?" again asked Mr Docimer.
At this moment Imogene herself joined them on the terrace. "Mary,"
she said to her sister-in-law, "I hope you are not carrying on
this battle with Mr Houston. I have said what there was to be
said."
"You should have held your tongue and said nothing," growled
her brother.
"Be that as it may I have said it, and he quite understands what
I think about it. Let us eat our dinner in peace and quietness,
and then let him go on his travels. He has the world free before
him, which he no doubt will open like an oyster, though he does
not carry a sword." Soon after this they did dine, and contented
themselves with abusing the meat and the wine, and finding fault
with Tyrolese cookery, just as though they had no deeper cares
near their hearts. Precisely at six the heavy diligence stopped
before the hotel door, and Houston, who was then smoking with
Docimer on the terrace, got up to bid them adieu. Mrs Docimer
was kind and almost affectionate, with a tear in her eye. "Well
old fellow," said Docimer, "take care of yourself. Perhaps everything
will turn up right some of these days." "Goodbye, Mr Houston,"
said Imogene, just giving him her hand to touch in the lightest
manner possible. "God bless you, Imogene," said he. And there
was a tear also in his eye. But there was none in hers, as she
stood looking at him while he prepared himself for his departure;
nor did she say another word to him as he went. "And now", said
she, when the three of them were left upon the terrace, "I will
ask a great favour of you both. I will beg you not to let there
be another word about Mr Houston among us." After that she rambled
out by herself, and was not seen again by either of them that
evening.
When she was alone she too shed her tears, though she felt impatient
and vexed with herself as they came into her eyes. It was not
perhaps only for her lost love that she wept. Had no one known
that her love had been given and then lost she might have borne
it without weeping. But now, in carrying on this vain affair
of hers, in devoting herself to a lover who had, with her own
consent, passed away from her, she had spent the sweet fresh
years of her youth, and all those who knew her would know that
it had been so. He had told her that it would be her fate to
purchase for herself a husband with her beauty. It might be so.
At any rate she did not doubt her own beauty. But, if it were
to be so, then the romance and the charm of her life were gone.
She had quite agreed that six hundred a year, and lodgings in
Marylebone, would be quite unendurable; but what was there left
for her that would be endurable? He could be happy with the prospect
of Gertrude Tringle's money. She could not be happy, looking
forward to that unloved husband who was to be purchased by her
beauty.
Sir Thomas took the real holiday of the year at Glenbogie --
where he was too far removed from Lombard Street to be drawn
daily into the vortex of his millions. He would stay usually
six weeks at Glenbogie -- which were by no means the happiest
weeks of the year. Of all the grand things of the world which
his energy and industry had produced for him, he loved his millions
the best. It was not because they were his -- as indeed they
were not. A considerable filing off them -- what he regarded
as his percentage -- annually became his own; but it was not
this that he loved. In describing a man's character it is the
author's duty to give the man his due. Sir Thomas liked his own
wealth well enough. Where is the rich man who does not? -- or
where is the poor man who does not wish that he had it to like?
But what he loved were the millions with which Travers and Treason
dealt. He was Travers and Treason, though his name did not even
appear in the firm, and he dealt with the millions. He could
affect the rate of money throughout Europe, and emissaries from
national treasuries would listen to his words. He had been Governor
and Deputy-Governor of the Bank of England. All the City respected
him, not so much because he was rich, as that he was one who
thoroughly understood millions. If Russia required to borrow
some infinite number of roubles, he knew how to arrange it, and
could tell to a rouble at what rate money could be made by it,
and at what rate