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As the Milvains sat down to breakfast the clock of Wattleborough
parish church struck eight; it was two miles away, but the
strokes were borne very distinctly on the west wind this autumn
morning. Jasper, listening before he cracked an egg, remarked
with cheerfulness:
'There's a man being hanged in London at this moment.'
'Surely it isn't necessary to let us know that,' said his sister
Maud, coldly.
'And in such a tone, too!' protested his sister Dora.
'Who is it?' inquired Mrs Milvain, looking at her son with pained
forehead.
'I don't know. It happened to catch my eye in the paper yesterday
that someone was to be hanged at Newgate this morning. There's a
certain satisfaction in reflecting that it is not oneself.'
'That's your selfish way of looking at things,' said Maud.
'Well,' returned Jasper, 'seeing that the fact came into my head,
what better use could I make of it? I could curse the brutality
of an age that sanctioned such things; or I could grow doleful
over the misery of the poor--fellow. But those emotions would be
as little profitable to others as to myself. It just happened
that I saw the thing in a light of consolation. Things are bad
with me, but not so bad as THAT. I might be going out between
Jack Ketch and the Chaplain to be hanged; instead of that, I am
eating a really fresh egg, and very excellent buttered toast,
with coffee as good as can be reasonably expected in this part of
the world.--(Do try boiling the milk, mother.)--The tone in which
I spoke was spontaneous; being so, it needs no justification.'
He was a young man of five-and-twenty, well built, though a
trifle meagre, and of pale complexion. He had hair that was very
nearly black, and a clean-shaven face, best described, perhaps,
as of bureaucratic type. The clothes he wore were of expensive
material, but had seen a good deal of service. His stand-up
collar curled over at the corners, and his necktie was lilac-
sprigged.
Of the two sisters, Dora, aged twenty, was the more like him in
visage, but she spoke with a gentleness which seemed to indicate
a different character. Maud, who was twenty-two, had bold,
handsome features, and very beautiful hair of russet tinge; hers
was not a face that readily smiled. Their mother had the look and
manners of an invalid, though she sat at table in the ordinary
way. All were dressed as ladies, though very simply. The room,
which looked upon a small patch of garden, was furnished with
old-fashioned comfort, only one or two objects suggesting the
decorative spirit of 1882.
'A man who comes to be hanged,' pursued Jasper, impartially, 'has
the satisfaction of knowing that he has brought society to its
last resource. He is a man of such fatal importance that nothing
will serve against him but the supreme effort of law. In a way,
you know, that is success.'
'In a way,' repeated Maud, scornfully.
'Suppose we talk of something else,' suggested Dora, who seemed
to fear a conflict between her sister and Jasper.
Almost at the same moment a diversion was afforded by the arrival
of the post. There was a letter for Mrs Milvain, a letter and
newspaper for her son. Whilst the girls and their mother talked
of unimportant news communicated by the one correspondent, Jasper
read the missive addressed to himself.
'This is from Reardon,' he remarked to the younger girl. 'Things
are going badly with him. He is just the kind of fellow to end by
poisoning or shooting himself.'
'But why?'
'Can't get anything done; and begins to be sore troubled on his
wife's account.'
'Is he ill?'
'Overworked, I suppose. But it's just what I foresaw. He isn't
the kind of man to keep up literary production as a paying
business. In favourable circumstances he might write a fairly
good book once every two or three years. The failure of his last
depressed him, and now he is struggling hopelessly to get another
done before the winter season. Those people will come to grief.'
'The enjoyment with which he anticipates it!' murmured Maud,
looking at her mother.
'Not at all,' said Jasper. 'It's true I envied the fellow,
because he persuaded a handsome girl to believe in him and share
his risks, but I shall be very sorry if he goes to the--to the
dogs. He's my one serious friend. But it irritates me to see a
man making such large demands upon fortune. One must be more
modest--as I am. Because one book had a sort of success he
imagined his struggles were over. He got a hundred pounds for "On
Neutral Ground," and at once counted on a continuance of payments
in geometrical proportion. I hinted to him that he couldn't keep
it up, and he smiled with tolerance, no doubt thinking "He judges
me by himself." But I didn't do anything of the kind.--(Toast,
please, Dora.)--I'm a stronger man than Reardon; I can keep my
eyes open, and wait.'
'Is his wife the kind of person to grumble?' asked Mrs Milvain.
'Well, yes, I suspect that she is. The girl wasn't content to go
into modest rooms--they must furnish a flat. I rather wonder he
didn't start a carriage for her. Well, his next book brought only
another hundred, and now, even if he finishes this one, it's very
doubtful if he'll get as much. "The Optimist" was practically a
failure.'
'Mr Yule may leave them some money,' said Dora.
'Yes. But he may live another ten years, and he would see them
both in Marylebone Workhouse before he advanced sixpence, or I'm
much mistaken in him. Her mother has only just enough to live
upon; can't possibly help them. Her brother wouldn't give or lend
twopence halfpenny.'
'Has Mr Reardon no relatives!'
'I never heard him make mention of a single one. No, he has done
the fatal thing. A man in his position, if he marry at all, must
take either a work-girl or an heiress, and in many ways the work-
girl is preferable.'
'How can you say that?' asked Dora. 'You never cease talking
about the advantages of money.'
'Oh, I don't mean that for ME the work-girl would be preferable;
by no means; but for a man like Reardon. He is absurd enough to
be conscientious, likes to be called an "artist," and so on. He
might possibly earn a hundred and fifty a year if his mind were
at rest, and that would be enough if he had married a decent
little dressmaker. He wouldn't desire superfluities, and the
quality of his work would be its own reward. As it is, he's
ruined.'
'And I repeat,' said Maud, 'that you enjoy the prospect.'
'Nothing of the kind. If I seem to speak exultantly it's only
because my intellect enjoys the clear perception of a fact.--A
little marmalade, Dora; the home-made, please.'
'But this is very sad, Jasper,' said Mrs Milvain, in her half-
absent way. 'I suppose they can't even go for a holiday?'
'Quite out of the question.'
'Not even if you invited them to come here for a week?'
'Now, mother,' urged Maud, 'THAT'S impossible, you know very
well.'
'I thought we might make an effort, dear. A holiday might mean
everything to him.'
'No, no,' fell from Jasper, thoughtfully. 'I don't think you'd
get along very well with Mrs Reardon; and then, if her uncle is
coming to Mr Yule's, you know, that would be awkward.'
'I suppose it would; though those people would only stay a day or
two, Miss Harrow said.'
'Why can't Mr Yule make them friends, those two lots of people?'
asked Dora. 'You say he's on good terms with both.'
'I suppose he thinks it's no business of his.'
Jasper mused over the letter from his friend.
'Ten years hence,' he said, 'if Reardon is still alive, I shall
be lending him five-pound notes.'
A smile of irony rose to Maud's lips. Dora laughed.
'To be sure! To be sure!' exclaimed their brother. 'You have no
faith. But just understand the difference between a man like
Reardon and a man like me. He is the old type of unpractical
artist; I am the literary man of 1882. He won't make concessions,
or rather, he can't make them; he can't supply the market. I--
well, you may say that at present I do nothing; but that's a
great mistake, I am learning my business. Literature nowadays is
a trade. Putting aside men of genius, who may succeed by mere
cosmic force, your successful man of letters is your skilful
tradesman. He thinks first and foremost of the markets; when one
kind of goods begins to go off slackly, he is ready with
something new and appetising. He knows perfectly all the possible
sources of income. Whatever he has to sell he'll get payment for
it from all sorts of various quarters; none of your unpractical
selling for a lump sum to a middleman who will make six distinct
profits. Now, look you: if I had been in Reardon's place, I'd
have made four hundred at least out of "The Optimist"; I should
have gone shrewdly to work with magazines and newspapers and
foreign publishers, and--all sorts of people. Reardon can't do
that kind of thing, he's behind his age; he sells a manuscript as
if he lived in Sam Johnson's Grub Street. But our Grub Street of
to-day is quite a different place: it is supplied with
telegraphic communication, it knows what literary fare is in
demand in every part of the world, its inhabitants are men of
business, however seedy.'
'It sounds ignoble,' said Maud.
'I have nothing to do with that, my dear girl. Now, as I tell
you, I am slowly, but surely, learning the business. My line
won't be novels; I have failed in that direction, I'm not cut out
for the work. It's a pity, of course; there's a great deal of
money in it. But I have plenty of scope. In ten years, I repeat,
I shall be making my thousand a year.'
'I don't remember that you stated the exact sum before,' Maud
observed.
'Let it pass. And to those who have shall be given. When I have a
decent income of my own, I shall marry a woman with an income
somewhat larger, so that casualties may be provided for.'
Dora exclaimed, laughing:
'It would amuse me very much if the Reardons got a lot of money
at Mr Yule's death--and that can't be ten years off, I'm sure.'
'I don't see that there's any chance of their getting much,'
replied Jasper, meditatively. 'Mrs Reardon is only his niece. The
man's brother and sister will have the first helping, I suppose.
And then, if it comes to the second generation, the literary Yule
has a daughter, and by her being invited here I should think
she's the favourite niece. No, no; depend upon it they won't get
anything at all.'
Having finished his breakfast, he leaned back and began to unfold
the London paper that had come by post.
'Had Mr Reardon any hopes of that kind at the time of his
marriage, do you think?' inquired Mrs Milvain.
'Reardon? Good heavens, no! Would he were capable of such
forethought!'
In a few minutes Jasper was left alone in the room. When the
servant came to clear the table he strolled slowly away, humming
a tune.
The house was pleasantly situated by the roadside in a little
village named Finden. Opposite stood the church, a plain, low,
square-towered building. As it was cattle-market to-day in the
town of Wattleborough, droves of beasts and sheep occasionally
went by, or the rattle of a grazier's cart sounded for a moment.
On ordinary days the road saw few vehicles, and pedestrians were
rare.
Mrs Milvain and her daughters had lived here for the last seven
years, since the death of the father, who was a veterinary
surgeon. The widow enjoyed an annuity of two hundred and forty
pounds, terminable with her life; the children had nothing of
their own. Maud acted irregularly as a teacher of music; Dora had
an engagement as visiting governess in a Wattleborough family.
Twice a year, as a rule, Jasper came down from London to spend a
fortnight with them; to-day marked the middle of his autumn
visit, and the strained relations between him and his sisters
which invariably made the second week rather trying for all in
the house had already become noticeable.
In the course of the morning Jasper had half an hour's private
talk with his mother, after which he set off to roam in the
sunshine. Shortly after he had left the house, Maud, her domestic
duties dismissed for the time, came into the parlour where Mrs
Milvain was reclining on the sofa.
'Jasper wants more money,' said the mother, when Maud had sat in
meditation for a few minutes.
'Of course. I knew that. I hope you told him he couldn't have
it.'
'I really didn't know what to say,' returned Mrs Milvain, in a
feeble tone of worry.
'Then you must leave the matter to me, that's all. There's no
money for him, and there's an end of it.'
Maud set her features in sullen determination. There was a brief
silence.
'What's he to do, Maud?'
'To do? How do other people do? What do Dora and I do?'
'You don't earn enough for your support, my dear.'
'Oh, well!' broke from the girl. 'Of course, if you grudge us our
food and lodging --'
'Don't be so quick-tempered. You know very well I am far from
grudging you anything, dear. But I only meant to say that Jasper
does earn something, you know.'
'It's a disgraceful thing that he doesn't earn as much as he
needs. We are sacrificed to him, as we always have been. Why
should we be pinching and stinting to keep him in idleness?'
'But you really can't call it idleness, Maud. He is studying his
profession.'
'Pray call it trade; he prefers it. How do I know that he's
studying anything? What does he mean by "studying"? And to hear
him speak scornfully of his friend Mr Reardon, who seems to work
hard all through the year! It's disgusting, mother. At this rate
he will never earn his own living. Who hasn't seen or heard of
such men? If we had another hundred a year, I would say nothing.
But we can't live on what he leaves us, and I'm not going to let
you try. I shall tell Jasper plainly that he's got to work for
his own support.'
Another silence, and a longer one. Mrs Milvain furtively wiped a
tear from her cheek.
'It seems very cruel to refuse,' she said at length, 'when
another year may give him the opportunity he's waiting for.'
'Opportunity? What does he mean by his opportunity?'
'He says that it always comes, if a man knows how to wait.'
'And the people who support him may starve meanwhile! Now just
think a bit, mother. Suppose anything were to happen to you, what
becomes of Dora and me? And what becomes of Jasper, too? It's the
truest kindness to him to compel him to earn a living. He gets
more and more incapable of it.'
'You can't say that, Maud. He earns a little more each year. But
for that, I should have my doubts. He has made thirty pounds
already this year, and he only made about twenty-five the whole
of last. We must be fair to him, you know. I can't help feeling
that he knows what he's about. And if he does succeed, he'll pay
us all back.'
Maud began to gnaw her fingers, a disagreeable habit she had in
privacy.
'Then why doesn't he live more economically?'
'I really don't see how he can live on less than a hundred and
fifty a year. London, you know --'
'The cheapest place in the world.'
'Nonsense, Maud!'
'But I know what I'm saying. I've read quite enough about such
things. He might live very well indeed on thirty shillings a
week, even buying his clothes out of it.'
'But he has told us so often that it's no use to him to live like
that. He is obliged to go to places where he must spend a little,
or he makes no progress.'
'Well, all I can say is,' exclaimed the girl impatiently, 'it's
very lucky for him that he's got a mother who willingly
sacrifices her daughters to him.'
'That's how you always break out. You don't care what unkindness
you say!'
'It's a simple truth.'
'Dora never speaks like that.'
'Because she's afraid to be honest.'
'No, because she has too much love for her mother. I can't bear
to talk to you, Maud. The older I get, and the weaker I get, the
more unfeeling you are to me.'
Scenes of this kind were no uncommon thing. The clash of tempers
lasted for several minutes, then Maud flung out of the room. An
hour later, at dinner-time, she was rather more caustic in her
remarks than usual, but this was the only sign that remained of
the stormy mood.
Jasper renewed the breakfast-table conversation.
'Look here,' he began, 'why don't you girls write something? I'm
convinced you could make money if you tried. There's a tremendous
sale for religious stories; why not patch one together? I am
quite serious.'
'Why don't you do it yourself,' retorted Maud.
'I can't manage stories, as I have told you; but I think you
could. In your place, I'd make a speciality of Sunday-school
prize-books; you know the kind of thing I mean. They sell like
hot cakes. And there's so deuced little enterprise in the
business. If you'd give your mind to it, you might make hundreds
a year.'
'Better say "abandon your mind to it."'
'Why, there you are! You're a sharp enough girl. You can quote as
well as anyone I know.'
'And please, why am I to take up an inferior kind of work?'
'Inferior? Oh, if you can be a George Eliot, begin at the
earliest opportunity. I merely suggested what seemed practicable.
But I don't think you have genius, Maud. People have got that
ancient prejudice so firmly rooted in their heads--that one
mustn't write save at the dictation of the Holy Spirit. I tell
you, writing is a business. Get together half-a-dozen fair
specimens of the Sunday-school prize; study them; discover the
essential points of such composition; hit upon new attractions;
then go to work methodically, so many pages a day. There's no
question of the divine afflatus; that belongs to another sphere
of life. We talk of literature as a trade, not of Homer, Dante,
and Shakespeare. If I could only get that into poor Reardon's
head. He thinks me a gross beast, often enough. What the devil--I
mean what on earth is there in typography to make everything it
deals with sacred? I don't advocate the propagation of vicious
literature; I speak only of good, coarse, marketable stuff for
the world's vulgar. You just give it a thought, Maud; talk it
over with Dora.'
He resumed presently:
'I maintain that we people of brains are justified in supplying
the mob with the food it likes. We are not geniuses, and if we
sit down in a spirit of long-eared gravity we shall produce only
commonplace stuff. Let us use our wits to earn money, and make
the best we can of our lives. If only I had the skill, I would
produce novels out-trashing the trashiest that ever sold fifty
thousand copies. But it needs skill, mind you: and to deny it is
a gross error of the literary pedants. To please the vulgar you
must, one way or another, incarnate the genius of vulgarity. For
my own part, I shan't be able to address the bulkiest multitude;
my talent doesn't lend itself to that form. I shall write for the
upper middle-class of intellect, the people who like to feel that
what they are reading has some special cleverness, but who can't
distinguish between stones and paste. That's why I'm so slow in
warming to the work. Every month I feel surer of myself, however.
That last thing of mine in The West End distinctly hit the mark;
it wasn't too flashy, it wasn't too solid. I heard fellows speak
of it in the train.'
Mrs Milvain kept glancing at Maud, with eyes which desired her
attention to these utterances. None the less, half an hour after
dinner, Jasper found himself encountered by his sister in the
garden, on her face a look which warned him of what was coming.
'I want you to tell me something, Jasper. How much longer shall
you look to mother for support? I mean it literally; let me have
an idea of how much longer it will be.'
He looked away and reflected.
'To leave a margin,' was his reply, 'let us say twelve months.'
'Better say your favourite "ten years" at once.'
'No. I speak by the card. In twelve months' time, if not before,
I shall begin to pay my debts. My dear girl, I have the honour to
be a tolerably long-headed individual. I know what I'm about.'
'And let us suppose mother were to die within half a year?'
'I should make shift to do very well.'
'You? And please--what of Dora and me?'
'You would write Sunday-school prizes.'
Maud turned away and left him.
He knocked the dust out of the pipe he had been smoking, and
again set off for a stroll along the lanes. On his countenance
was just a trace of solicitude, but for the most part he wore a
thoughtful smile. Now and then he stroked his smoothly-shaven
jaws with thumb and fingers. Occasionally he became observant of
wayside details--of the colour of a maple leaf, the shape of a
tall thistle, the consistency of a fungus. At the few people who
passed he looked keenly, surveying them from head to foot.
On turning, at the limit of his walk, he found himself almost
face to face with two persons, who were coming along in silent
companionship; their appearance interested him. The one was a man
of fifty, grizzled, hard featured, slightly bowed in the
shoulders; he wore a grey felt hat with a broad brim and a decent
suit of broadcloth. With him was a girl of perhaps two-and-
twenty, in a slate-coloured dress with very little ornament, and
a yellow straw hat of the shape originally appropriated to males;
her dark hair was cut short, and lay in innumerable crisp curls.
Father and daughter, obviously. The girl, to a casual eye, was
neither pretty nor beautiful, but she had a grave and impressive
face, with a complexion of ivory tone; her walk was gracefully
modest, and she seemed to be enjoying the country air.
Jasper mused concerning them. When he had walked a few yards, he
looked back; at the same moment the unknown man also turned his
head.
'Where the deuce have I seen them--him and the girl too?' Milvain
asked himself.
And before he reached home the recollection he sought flashed
upon his mind.
'I think' said Jasper, as he entered the room where his mother
and Maud were busy with plain needlework, 'I must have met Alfred
Yule and his daughter.'
'How did you recognise them?' Mrs Milvain inquired.
'I passed an old buffer and a pale-faced girl whom I know by
sight at the British Museum. It wasn't near Yule's house, but
they were taking a walk.'
'They may have come already. When Miss Harrow was here last, she
said "in about a fortnight."'
'No mistaking them for people of these parts, even if I hadn't
remembered their faces. Both of them are obvious dwellers in the
valley of the shadow of books.'
'Is Miss Yule such a fright then?' asked Maud.
'A fright! Not at all. A good example of the modern literary
girl. I suppose you have the oddest old-fashioned ideas of such
people. No, I rather like the look of her. Simpatica, I should
think, as that ass Whelpdale would say. A very delicate, pure
complexion, though morbid; nice eyes; figure not spoilt yet. But
of course I may be wrong about their identity.'
Later in the afternoon Jasper's conjecture was rendered a
certainty. Maud had walked to Wattleborough, where she would meet
Dora on the latter's return from her teaching, and Mrs Milvain
sat alone, in a mood of depression; there was a ring at the
door-bell, and the servant admitted Miss Harrow.
This lady acted as housekeeper to Mr John Yule, a wealthy
resident in this neighbourhood; she was the sister of his
deceased wife--a thin, soft-speaking, kindly woman of forty-five.
The greater part of her life she had spent as a governess; her
position now was more agreeable, and the removal of her anxiety
about the future had developed qualities of cheerfulness which
formerly no one would have suspected her to possess. The
acquaintance between Mrs Milvain and her was only of twelve
months' standing; prior to that, Mr Yule had inhabited a house at
the end of Wattleborough remote from Finden.
'Our London visitors came yesterday,' she began by saying.
Mrs Milvain mentioned her son's encounter an hour or two ago.
'No doubt it was they,' said the visitor. 'Mrs Yule hasn't come;
I hardly expected she would, you know. So very unfortunate when
there are difficulties of that kind, isn't it?'
She smiled confidentially.
'The poor girl must feel it,' said Mrs Milvain.
'I'm afraid she does. Of course it narrows the circle of her
friends at home. She's a sweet girl, and I should so like you to
meet her. Do come and have tea with us to-morrow afternoon, will
you? Or would it be too much for you just now?'
'Will you let the girls call? And then perhaps Miss Yule will be
so good as to come and see me?'
'I wonder whether Mr Milvain would like to meet her father? I
have thought that perhaps it might be some advantage to him.
Alfred is so closely connected with literary people, you know.'
'I feel sure he would be glad,' replied Mrs Milvain. 'But--what
of Jasper's friendship with Mrs Edmund Yule and the Reardons?
Mightn't it be a little awkward?'
'Oh, I don't think so, unless he himself felt it so. There would
be no need to mention that, I should say. And, really, it would
be so much better if those estrangements came to an end. John
makes no scruple of speaking freely about everyone, and I don't
think Alfred regards Mrs Edmund with any serious unkindness. If
Mr Milvain would walk over with the young ladies to-morrow, it
would be very pleasant.'
'Then I think I may promise that he will. I'm sure I don't know
where he is at this moment. We don't see very much of him, except
at meals.'
'He won't be with you much longer, I suppose?'
'Perhaps a week.'
Before Miss Harrow's departure Maud and Dora reached home. They
were curious to see the young lady from the valley of the shadow
of books, and gladly accepted the invitation offered them.
They set out on the following afternoon in their brother's
company. It was only a quarter of an hour's walk to Mr Yule's
habitation, a small house in a large garden. Jasper was coming
hither for the first time; his sisters now and then visited Miss
Harrow, but very rarely saw Mr Yule himself who made no secret of
the fact that he cared little for female society. In
Wattleborough and the neighbourhood opinions varied greatly as to
this gentleman's character, but women seldom spoke very
favourably of him. Miss Harrow was reticent concerning her
brother-in-law; no one, however, had any reason to believe that
she found life under his roof disagreeable. That she lived with
him at all was of course occasionally matter for comment, certain
Wattleborough ladies having their doubts regarding the position
of a deceased wife's sister under such circumstances; but no one
was seriously exercised about the relations between this sober
lady of forty-five and a man of sixty-three in broken health.
A word of the family history.
John, Alfred, and Edmund Yule were the sons of a Wattleborough
stationer. Each was well educated, up to the age of seventeen, at
the town's grammar school. The eldest, who was a hot-headed lad,
but showed capacities for business, worked at first with his
father, endeavouring to add a bookselling department to the trade
in stationery; but the life of home was not much to his taste,
and at one-and-twenty he obtained a clerk's place in the office
of a London newspaper. Three years after, his father died, and
the small patrimony which fell to him he used in making himself
practically acquainted with the details of paper manufacture, his
aim being to establish himself in partnership with an
acquaintance who had started a small paper-mill in Hertfordshire.
His speculation succeeded, and as years went on he became a
thriving manufacturer. His brother Alfred, in the meantime, had
drifted from work at a London bookseller's into the modern Grub
Street, his adventures in which region will concern us hereafter.
Edmund carried on the Wattleborough business, but with small
success. Between him and his eldest brother existed a good deal
of affection, and in the end John offered him a share in his
flourishing paper works; whereupon Edmund married, deeming
himself well established for life. But John's temper was a
difficult one; Edmund and he quarrelled, parted; and when the
younger died, aged about forty, he left but moderate provision
for his widow and two children.
Only when he had reached middle age did John marry; the
experiment could not be called successful, and Mrs Yule died
three years later, childless.
At fifty-four John Yule retired from active business; he came
back to the scenes of his early life, and began to take an
important part in the municipal affairs of Wattleborough. He was
then a remarkably robust man, fond of out-of-door exercise; he
made it one of his chief efforts to encourage the local Volunteer
movement, the cricket and football clubs, public sports of every
kind, showing no sympathy whatever with those persons who wished
to establish free libraries, lectures, and the like. At his own
expense he built for the Volunteers a handsome drill-shed; he
founded a public gymnasium; and finally he allowed it to be
rumoured that he was going to present the town with a park. But
by presuming too far upon the bodily vigour which prompted these
activities, he passed of a sudden into the state of a confirmed
invalid. On an autumn expedition in the Hebrides he slept one
night under the open sky, with the result that he had an all but
fatal attack of rheumatic fever. After that, though the direction
of his interests was unchanged, he could no longer set the
example to Wattleborough youth of muscular manliness. The
infliction did not improve his temper; for the next year or two
he was constantly at warfare with one or other of his colleagues
and friends, ill brooking that the familiar control of various
local interests should fall out of his hands. But before long he
appeared to resign himself to his fate, and at present
Wattleborough saw little of him. It seemed likely that he might
still found the park which was to bear his name; but perhaps it
would only be done in consequence of directions in his will. It
was believed that he could not live much longer.
With his kinsfolk he held very little communication. Alfred Yule,
a battered man of letters, had visited Wattleborough only
twice(including the present occasion) since John's return hither.
Mrs Edmund Yule, with her daughter--now Mrs Reardon--had been
only once, three years ago. These two families, as you have
heard, were not on terms of amity with each other, owing to
difficulties between Mrs Alfred and Mrs Edmund; but John seemed
to regard both impartially. Perhaps the only real warmth of
feeling he had ever known was bestowed upon Edmund, and Miss
Harrow had remarked that he spoke with somewhat more interest of
Edmund's daughter, Amy, than of Alfred's daughter, Marian. But it
was doubtful whether the sudden disappearance from the earth of
all his relatives would greatly have troubled him. He lived a
life of curious self-absorption, reading newspapers (little
else), and talking with old friends who had stuck to him in spite
of his irascibility.
Miss Harrow received her visitors in a small and soberly
furnished drawing-room. She was nervous, probably because of
Jasper Milvain, whom she had met but once--last spring--and who
on that occasion had struck her as an alarmingly modern young
man. In the shadow of a window-curtain sat a slight, simply-
dressed girl, whose short curly hair and thoughtful countenance
Jasper again recognised. When it was his turn to be presented to
Miss Yule, he saw that she doubted for an instant whether or not
to give her hand; yet she decided to do so, and there was
something very pleasant to him in its warm softness. She smiled
with a slight embarrassment, meeting his look only for a second.
'I have seen you several times, Miss Yule,' he said in a friendly
way, 'though without knowing your name. It was under the great
dome.'
She laughed, readily understanding his phrase.
'I am there very often,' was her reply.
'What great dome?' asked Miss Harrow, with surprise.
'That of the British Museum Reading-room,' explained Jasper;
'known to some of us as the valley of the shadow of books. People
who often work there necessarily get to know each other by sight.
In the same way I knew Miss Yule's father when I happened to pass
him in the road yesterday.'
The three girls began to converse together, perforce of
trivialities. Marian Yule spoke in rather slow tones,
thoughtfully, gently; she had linked her fingers, and laid her
hands, palms downwards, upon her lap--a nervous action. Her
accent was pure, unpretentious; and she used none of the
fashionable turns of speech which would have suggested the habit
of intercourse with distinctly metropolitan society.
'You must wonder how we exist in this out-of-the-way place,'
remarked Maud.
'Rather, I envy you,' Marian answered, with a slight emphasis.
The door opened, and Alfred Yule presented himself. He was tall,
and his head seemed a disproportionate culmination to his meagre
body, it was so large and massively featured. Intellect and
uncertainty of temper were equally marked upon his visage; his
brows were knitted in a permanent expression of severity. He had
thin, smooth hair, grizzled whiskers, a shaven chin. In the
multitudinous wrinkles of his face lay a history of laborious and
stormy life; one readily divined in him a struggling and
embittered man. Though he looked older than his years, he had by
no means the appearance of being beyond the ripeness of his
mental vigour.
'It pleases me to meet you, Mr Milvain,' he said, as he stretched
out his bony hand. 'Your name reminds me of a paper in The
Wayside a month or two ago, which you will perhaps allow a
veteran to say was not ill done.'
'I am grateful to you for noticing it,' replied Jasper.
There was positively a touch of visible warmth upon his cheek.
The allusion had come so unexpectedly that it caused him keen
pleasure.
Mr Yule seated himself awkwardly, crossed his legs, and began to
stroke the back of his left hand, which lay on his knee. He
seemed to have nothing more to say at present, and allowed Miss
Harrow and the girls to support conversation. Jasper listened
with a smile for a minute or two, then he addressed the
veteran.'Have you seen The Study this week, Mr Yule?'
'Yes.'
'Did you notice that it contains a very favourable review of a
novel which was tremendously abused in the same columns three
weeks ago?'
Mr Yule started, but Jasper could perceive at once that his
emotion was not disagreeable.
'You don't say so.'
'Yes. The novel is Miss Hawk's "On the Boards." How will the
editor get out of this?'
'H'm! Of course Mr Fadge is not immediately responsible; but
it'll be unpleasant for him, decidedly unpleasant.' He smiled
grimly. 'You hear this, Marian?'
'How is it explained, father?'
'May be accident, of course; but--well, there's no knowing. I
think it very likely this will be the end of Mr Fadge's tenure of
office. Rackett, the proprietor, only wants a plausible excuse
for making a change. The paper has been going downhill for the
last year; I know of two publishing houses who have withdrawn
their advertising from it, and who never send their books for
review. Everyone foresaw that kind of thing from the day Mr Fadge
became editor. The tone of his paragraphs has been detestable.
Two reviews of the same novel, eh? And diametrically opposed? Ha!
ha!'
Gradually he had passed from quiet appreciation of the joke to
undisguised mirth and pleasure. His utterance of the name 'Mr
Fadge' sufficiently intimated that he had some cause of personal
discontent with the editor of The Study.
'The author,' remarked Milvain, 'ought to make a good thing out
of this.'
'Will, no doubt. Ought to write at once to the papers, calling
attention to this sample of critical impartiality. Ha! ha!'
He rose and went to the window, where for several minutes he
stood gazing at vacancy, the same grim smile still on his face.
Jasper in the meantime amused the ladies (his sisters had heard
him on the subject already) with a description of the two
antagonistic notices. But he did not trust himself to express so
freely as he had done at home his opinion of reviewing in
general; it was more than probable that both Yule and his
daughter did a good deal of such work.
'Suppose we go into the garden,' suggested Miss Harrow,
presently. 'It seems a shame to sit indoors on such a lovely
afternoon.'
Hitherto there had been no mention of the master of the house.
But Mr Yule now remarked to Jasper:
'My brother would be glad if you would come and have a word with
him. He isn't quite well enough to leave his room to-day.'
So, as the ladies went gardenwards, Jasper followed the man of
letters upstairs to a room on the first floor. Here, in a deep
cane chair, which was placed by the open window, sat John Yule.
He was completely dressed, save that instead of coat he wore a
dressing-gown. The facial likeness between him and his brother
was very strong, but John's would universally have been judged
the finer countenance; illness notwithstanding, he had a
complexion which contrasted in its pure colour with Alfred's
parchmenty skin, and there was more finish about his features.
His abundant hair was reddish, his long moustache and trimmed
beard a lighter shade of the same hue.
'So you too are in league with the doctors,' was his bluff
greeting, as he held a hand to the young man and inspected him
with a look of slighting good-nature.
'Well, that certainly is one way of regarding the literary
profession,' admitted Jasper, who had heard enough of John's way
of thinking to understand the remark.
'A young fellow with all the world before him, too. Hang it, Mr
Milvain, is there no less pernicious work you can turn your hand
to?'
'I'm afraid not, Mr Yule. After all, you know, you must be held
in a measure responsible for my depravity.'
'How's that?'
'I understand that you have devoted most of your life to the
making of paper. If that article were not so cheap and so
abundant, people wouldn't have so much temptation to scribble.'
Alfred Yule uttered a short laugh.
'I think you are cornered, John.'
'I wish,' answered John, 'that you were both condemned to write
on such paper as I chiefly made; it was a special kind of whitey-
brown, used by shopkeepers.'
He chuckled inwardly, and at the same time reached out for a box
of cigarettes on a table near him. His brother and Jasper each
took one as he offered them, and began to smoke.
'You would like to see literary production come entirely to an
end?' said Milvain.
'I should like to see the business of literature abolished.'
'There's a distinction, of course. But, on the whole, I should
say that even the business serves a good purpose.'
'What purpose?'
'It helps to spread civilisation.'
'Civilisation!' exclaimed John, scornfully. 'What do you mean by
civilisation? Do you call it civilising men to make them weak,
flabby creatures, with ruined eyes and dyspeptic stomachs? Who is
it that reads most of the stuff that's poured out daily by the
ton from the printing-press? Just the men and women who ought to
spend their leisure hours in open-air exercise; the people who
earn their bread by sedentary pursuits, and who need to live as
soon as they are free from the desk or the counter, not to moon
over small print. Your Board schools, your popular press, your
spread of education! Machinery for ruining the country, that's
what I call it.'
'You have done a good deal, I think, to counteract those
influences in Wattleborough.'
'I hope so; and if only I had kept the use of my limbs I'd have
done a good deal more. I have an idea of offering substantial
prizes to men and women engaged in sedentary work who take an
oath to abstain from all reading, and keep it for a certain
number of years. There's a good deal more need for that than for
abstinence from strong liquor. If I could have had my way I would
have revived prize-fighting.'
His brother laughed with contemptuous impatience.
'You would doubtless like to see military conscription introduced
into England?' said Jasper.
'Of course I should! You talk of civilising; there's no such way
of civilising the masses of the people as by fixed military
service. Before mental training must come training of the body.
Go about the Continent, and see the effect of military service on
loutish peasants and the lowest classes of town population. Do
you know why it isn't even more successful? Because the damnable
education movement interferes. If Germany would shut up her
schools and universities for the next quarter of a century and go
ahead like blazes with military training there'd be a nation such
as the world has never seen. After that, they might begin a
little book-teaching again--say an hour and a half a day for
everyone above nine years old. Do you suppose, Mr Milvain, that
society is going to be reformed by you people who write for
money? Why, you are the very first class that will be swept from
the face of the earth as soon as the reformation really begins!'
Alfred puffed at his cigarette. His thoughts were occupied with
Mr Fadge and The Study. He was considering whether he could aid
in bringing public contempt upon that literary organ and its
editor. Milvain listened to the elder man's diatribe with much
amusement.
'You, now,' pursued John, 'what do you write about?'
'Nothing in particular. I make a salable page or two out of
whatever strikes my fancy.'
'Exactly! You don't even pretend that you've got anything to say.
You live by inducing people to give themselves mental
indigestion--and bodily, too, for that matter.'
'Do you know, Mr Yule, that you have suggested a capital idea to
me? If I were to take up your views, I think it isn't at all
unlikely that I might make a good thing of writing against
writing. It should be my literary specialty to rail against
literature. The reading public should pay me for telling them
that they oughtn't to read. I must think it over.'
'Carlyle has anticipated you,' threw in Alfred.
'Yes, but in an antiquated way. I would base my polemic on the
newest philosophy.'
He developed the idea facetiously, whilst John regarded him as he
might have watched a performing monkey.
'There again! your new philosophy!' exclaimed the invalid. 'Why,
it isn't even wholesome stuff, the kind of reading that most of
you force on the public. Now there's the man who has married one
of my nieces--poor lass! Reardon, his name is. You know him, I
dare say. Just for curiosity I had a look at one of his books; it
was called "The Optimist." Of all the morbid trash I ever saw,
that beat everything. I thought of writing him a letter, advising
a couple of anti-bilious pills before bedtime for a few weeks.'
Jasper glanced at Alfred Yule, who wore a look of indifference.
'That man deserves penal servitude in my opinion,' pursued John.
'I'm not sure that it isn't my duty to offer him a couple of
hundred a year on condition that he writes no more.'
Milvain, with a clear vision of his friend in London, burst into
laughter. But at that point Alfred rose from his chair.
'Shall we rejoin the ladies?' he said, with a certain pedantry
of phrase and manner which often characterised him.
'Think over your ways whilst you're still young,' said John as he
shook hands with his visitor.
'Your brother speaks quite seriously, I suppose?' Jasper remarked
when he was in the garden with Alfred.
'I think so. It's amusing now and then, but gets rather tiresome
when you hear it often. By-the-bye, you are not personally
acquainted with Mr Fadge?'
'I didn't even know his name until you mentioned it.'
'The most malicious man in the literary world. There's no
uncharitableness in feeling a certain pleasure when he gets into
a scrape. I could tell you incredible stories about him; but that
kind of thing is probably as little to your taste as it is to
mine.'
Miss Harrow and her companions, having caught sight of the pair,
came towards them. Tea was to be brought out into the garden.
'So you can sit with us and smoke, if you like,' said Miss Harrow
to Alfred. 'You are never quite at your ease, I think, without a
pipe.'
But the man of letters was too preoccupied for society. In a few
minutes he begged that the ladies would excuse his withdrawing;
he had two or three letters to write before post-time, which was
early at Finden.
Jasper, relieved by the veteran's departure, began at once to
make himself very agreeable company. When he chose to lay aside
the topic of his own difficulties and ambitions, he could
converse with a spontaneous gaiety which readily won the
good-will of listeners. Naturally he addressed himself very often
to Marian Yule, whose attention complimented him. She said
little, and evidently was at no time a free talker, but the smile
on her face indicated a mood of quiet enjoyment. When her eyes
wandered, it was to rest on the beauties of the garden, the
moving patches of golden sunshine, the forms of gleaming cloud.
Jasper liked to observe her as she turned her head: there seemed
to him a particular grace in the movement; her head and neck were
admirably formed, and the short hair drew attention to this.
It was agreed that Miss Harrow and Marian should come on the
second day after to have tea with the Milvains. And when Jasper
took leave of Alfred Yule, the latter expressed a wish that they
might have a walk together one of these mornings.
Jasper's favourite walk led him to a spot distant perhaps a mile
and a half from home. From a tract of common he turned into a
short lane which crossed the Great Western railway, and thence by
a stile into certain meadows forming a compact little valley. One
recommendation of this retreat was that it lay sheltered from all
winds; to Jasper a wind was objectionable. Along the bottom ran
a clear, shallow stream, overhung with elder and hawthorn bushes;
and close by the wooden bridge which spanned it was a great ash
tree, making shadow for cows and sheep when the sun lay hot upon
the open field. It was rare for anyone to come along this path,
save farm labourers morning and evening.
But to-day--the afternoon that followed his visit to John Yule's
house--he saw from a distance that his lounging-place on the
wooden bridge was occupied. Someone else had discovered the
pleasure there was in watching the sun-flecked sparkle of the
water as it flowed over the clean sand and stones. A girl in a
yellow-straw hat; yes, and precisely the person he had hoped, at
the first glance, that it might be. He made no haste as he drew
nearer on the descending path. At length his footstep was heard;
Marian Yule turned her head and clearly recognised him.
She assumed an upright position, letting one of her hands rest
upon the rail. After the exchange of ordinary greetings, Jasper
leaned back against the same support and showed himself disposed
for talk.
'When I was here late in the spring,' he said, 'this ash was only
just budding, though everything else seemed in full leaf.'
'An ash, is it?' murmured Marian. 'I didn't know. I think an oak
is the only tree I can distinguish. Yet,' she added quickly, 'I
knew that the ash was late; some lines of Tennyson come to my
memory.'
'Which are those?'
'Delaying, as the tender ash delays
To clothe herself when all the woods are green,
somewhere in the "Idylls."'
'I don't remember; so I won't pretend to--though I should do so
as a rule.'
She looked at him oddly, and seemed about to laugh, yet did not.
'You have had little experience of the country?' Jasper
continued.
'Very little. You, I think, have known it from childhood?'
'In a sort of way. I was born in Wattleborough, and my people
have always lived here. But I am not very rural in temperament. I
have really no friends here; either they have lost interest in
me, or I in them. What do you think of the girls, my sisters?'
The question, though put with perfect simplicity, was
embarrassing.
'They are tolerably intellectual,' Jasper went on, when he saw
that it would be difficult for her to answer. 'I want to persuade
them to try their hands at literary work of some kind or other.
They give lessons, and both hate it.'
'Would literary work be less--burdensome?' said Marian, without
looking at him.
'Rather more so, you think?'
She hesitated.
'It depends, of course, on--on several things.'
'To be sure,' Jasper agreed. 'I don't think they have any marked
faculty for such work; but as they certainly haven't for
teaching, that doesn't matter. It's a question of learning a
business. I am going through my apprenticeship, and find it a
long affair. Money would shorten it, and, unfortunately, I have
none.'
'Yes,' said Marian, turning her eyes upon the stream, 'money is a
help in everything.'
'Without it, one spends the best part of one's life in toiling
for that first foothold which money could at once purchase. To
have money is becoming of more and more importance in a literary
career; principally because to have money is to have friends.
Year by year, such influence grows of more account. A lucky man
will still occasionally succeed by dint of his own honest
perseverance, but the chances are dead against anyone who can't
make private interest with influential people; his work is simply
overwhelmed by that of the men who have better opportunities.'
'Don't you think that, even to-day, really good work will sooner
or later be recognised?'
'Later, rather than sooner; and very likely the man can't wait;
he starves in the meantime. You understand that I am not speaking
of genius; I mean marketable literary work. The quantity turned
out is so great that there's no hope for the special attention of
the public unless one can afford to advertise hugely. Take the
instance of a successful all-round man of letters; take Ralph
Warbury, whose name you'll see in the first magazine you happen
to open. But perhaps he is a friend of yours?'
'Oh no!'
'Well, I wasn't going to abuse him. I was only going to ask:Is
there any quality which distinguishes his work from that of
twenty struggling writers one could name? Of course not. He's a
clever, prolific man; so are they. But he began with money and
friends; he came from Oxford into the thick of advertised people;
his name was mentioned in print six times a week before he had
written a dozen articles. This kind of thing will become the
rule. Men won't succeed in literature that they may get into
society, but will get into society that they may succeed in
literature.'
'Yes, I know it is true,' said Marian, in a low voice.
'There's a friend of mine who writes novels,' Jasper pursued.
'His books are not works of genius, but they are glaringly
distinct from the ordinary circulating novel. Well, after one or
two attempts, he made half a success; that is to say, the
publishers brought out a second edition of the book in a few
months. There was his opportunity. But he couldn't use it; he had
no friends, because he had no money. A book of half that merit,
if written by a man in the position of Warbury when he started,
would have established the reputation of a lifetime. His
influential friends would have referred to it in leaders, in
magazine articles, in speeches, in sermons. It would have run
through numerous editions, and the author would have had nothing
to do but to write another book and demand his price. But the
novel I'm speaking of was practically forgotten a year after its
appearance; it was whelmed beneath the flood of next season's
literature.'
Marian urged a hesitating objection.
'But, under the circumstances, wasn't it in the author's power to
make friends? Was money really indispensable?'
'Why, yes--because he chose to marry. As a bachelor he might
possibly have got into the right circles, though his character
would in any case have made it difficult for him to curry favour.
But as a married man, without means, the situation was hopeless.
Once married you must live up to the standard of the society you
frequent; you can't be entertained without entertaining in
return. Now if his wife had brought him only a couple of thousand
pounds all might have been well. I should have advised him, in
sober seriousness, to live for two years at the rate of a
thousand a year. At the end of that time he would have been
earning enough to continue at pretty much the same rate of
expenditure.'
'Perhaps.'
'Well, I ought rather to say that the average man of letters
would be able to do that. As for Reardon--'
He stopped. The name had escaped him unawares.
'Reardon?' said Marian, looking up. 'You are speaking of him?'
'I have betrayed myself Miss Yule.'
'But what does it matter? You have only spoken in his favour.'
'I feared the name might affect you disagreeably.'
Marian delayed her reply.
'It is true,' she said, 'we are not on friendly terms with my
cousin's family. I have never met Mr Reardon. But I shouldn't
like you to think that the mention of his name is disagreeable to
me.'
'It made me slightly uncomfortable yesterday--the fact that I am
well acquainted with Mrs Edmund Yule, and that Reardon is my
friend. Yet I didn't see why that should prevent my making your
father's acquaintance.'
'Surely not. I shall say nothing about it; I mean, as you uttered
the name unintentionally.'
There was a pause in the dialogue. They had been speaking almost
confidentially, and Marian seemed to become suddenly aware of an
oddness in the situation. She turned towards the uphill path, as
if thinking of resuming her walk.
'You are tired of standing still,' said Jasper. 'May I walk back
a part of the way with you?'
'Thank you; I shall be glad.'
They went on for a few minutes in silence.
'Have you published anything with your signature, Miss Yule?'
Jasper at length inquired.
'Nothing. I only help father a little.'
The silence that again followed was broken this time by Marian.
'When you chanced to mention Mr Reardon's name,' she said, with a
diffident smile in which lay that suggestion of humour so
delightful upon a woman's face, 'you were going to say something
more about him?'
'Only that--' he broke off and laughed. 'Now, how boyish it was,
wasn't it? I remember doing just the same thing once when I came
home from school and had an exciting story to tell, with
preservation of anonymities. Of course I blurted out a name in
the first minute or two, to my father's great amusement. He told
me that I hadn't the diplomatic character. I have been trying to
acquire it ever since.
'But why?'
'It's one of the essentials of success in any kind of public
life. And I mean to succeed, you know. I feel that I am one of
the men who do succeed. But I beg your pardon; you asked me a
question. Really, I was only going to say of Reardon what I had
said before: that he hasn't the tact requisite for acquiring
popularity.'
'Then I may hope that it isn't his marriage with my cousin which
has proved a fatal misfortune?'
'In no case,' replied Milvain, averting his look, 'would he have
used his advantages.'
'And now? Do you think he has but poor prospects?'
'I wish I could see any chance of his being estimated at his
right value. It's very hard to say what is before him.'
'I knew my cousin Amy when we were children,' said Marian,
presently. 'She gave promise of beauty.'
'Yes, she is beautiful.'
'And--the kind of woman to be of help to such a husband?'
'I hardly know how to answer, Miss Yule,' said Jasper, looking
frankly at her. 'Perhaps I had better say that it's unfortunate
they are poor.'
Marian cast down her eyes.
'To whom isn't it a misfortune?' pursued her companion. 'Poverty
is the root of all social ills; its existence accounts even for
the ills that arise from wealth. The poor man is a man labouring
in fetters. I declare there is no word in our language which
sounds so hideous to me as "Poverty."'
Shortly after this they came to the bridge over the railway line.
Jasper looked at his watch.
'Will you indulge me in a piece of childishness?' he said. 'In
less than five minutes a London express goes by; I have often
watched it here, and it amuses me. Would it weary you to wait?'
'I should like to,' she replied with a laugh.
The line ran along a deep cutting, from either side of which grew
hazel bushes and a few larger trees. Leaning upon the parapet of
the bridge, Jasper kept his eye in the westward direction, where
the gleaming rails were visible for more than a mile. Suddenly he
raised his finger.
'You hear?'
Marian had just caught the far-off sound of the train. She looked
eagerly, and in a few moments saw it approaching. The front of
the engine blackened nearer and nearer, coming on with dread
force and speed. A blinding rush, and there burst against the
bridge a great volley of sunlit steam. Milvain and his companion
ran to the opposite parapet, but already the whole train had
emerged, and in a few seconds it had disappeared round a sharp
curve. The leafy branches that grew out over the line swayed
violently backwards and forwards in the perturbed air.
'If I were ten years younger,' said Jasper, laughing, 'I should
say that was jolly! It enspirits me. It makes me feel eager to go
back and plunge into the fight again.'
'Upon me it has just the opposite effect,' fell from Marian, in
very low tones.
'Oh, don't say that! Well, it only means that you haven't had
enough holiday yet. I have been in the country more than a week;
a few days more and I must be off. How long do you think of
staying?'
'Not much more than a week, I think.'
'By-the-bye, you are coming to have tea with us to-morrow,'
Jasper remarked a propos of nothing. Then he returned to another
subject that was in his thoughts.
'It was by a train like that that I first went up to London. Not
really the first time; I mean when I went to live there, seven
years ago. What spirits I was in! A boy of eighteen going to live
independently in London; think of it!'
'You went straight from school?'
'I was for two years at Redmayne College after leaving
Wattleborough Grammar School. Then my father died, and I spent
nearly half a year at home. I was meant to be a teacher, but the
prospect of entering a school by no means appealed to me. A
friend of mine was studying in London for some Civil Service
exam., so I declared that I would go and do the same thing.'
'Did you succeed?'
'Not I! I never worked properly for that kind of thing. I read
voraciously, and got to know London. I might have gone to the
dogs, you know; but by when I had been in London a year a pretty
clear purpose began to form in me. Strange to think that you were
growing up there all the time. I may have passed you in the
street now and then.'
Marian laughed.
'And I did at length see you at the British Museum, you know.'
They turned a corner of the road, and came full upon Marian's
father, who was walking in this direction with eyes fixed upon
the ground.
'So here you are!' he exclaimed, looking at the girl, and for the
moment paying no attention to Jasper. 'I wondered whether I
should meet you.' Then, more dryly, 'How do you do, Mr Milvain?'
In a tone of easy indifference Jasper explained how he came to be
accompanying Miss Yule.
'Shall I walk on with you, father?' Marian asked, scrutinising
his rugged features.
'Just as you please; I don't know that I should have gone much
further. But we might take another way back.'
Jasper readily adapted himself to the wish he discerned in Mr
Yule; at once he offered leave-taking in the most natural way.
Nothing was said on either side about another meeting.
The young man proceeded homewards, but, on arriving, did not at
once enter the house. Behind the garden was a field used for the
grazing of horses; he entered it by the unfastened gate, and
strolled idly hither and thither, now and then standing to
observe a poor worn-out beast, all skin and bone, which had
presumably been sent here in the hope that a little more labour
might still be exacted from it if it were suffered to repose for
a few weeks. There were sores upon its back and legs; it stood in
a fixed attitude of despondency, just flicking away troublesome
flies with its grizzled tail.
It was tea-time when he went in. Maud was not at home, and Mrs
Milvain, tormented by a familiar headache, kept her room; so
Jasper and Dora sat down together. Each had an open book on the
table; throughout the meal they exchanged only a few words.
'Going to play a little?' Jasper suggested when they had gone
into the sitting-room.
'If you like.'
She sat down at the piano, whilst her brother lay on the sofa,
his hands clasped beneath his head. Dora did not play badly, but
an absentmindedness which was commonly observable in her had its
effect upon the music. She at length broke off idly in the middle
of a passage, and began to linger on careless chords. Then,
without turning her head, she asked:
'Were you serious in what you said about writing storybooks?'
'Quite. I see no reason why you shouldn't do something in that
way. But I tell you what; when I get back, I'll inquire into the
state of the market. I know a man who was once engaged at Jolly &
Monk's--the chief publishers of that kind of thing, you know; I
must look him up--what a mistake it is to neglect any
acquaintance!--and get some information out of him. But it's
obvious what an immense field there is for anyone who can just
hit the taste of the' new generation of Board school children.
Mustn't be too goody-goody; that kind of thing is falling out of
date. But you'd have to cultivate a particular kind of vulgarity.
There's an idea, by-the-bye. I'll write a paper on the
characteristics of that new generation; it may bring me a few
guineas, and it would be a help to you.'
'But what do you know about the subject?' asked Dora doubtfully.
'What a comical question! It is my business to know something
about every subject--or to know where to get the knowledge.'
'Well,' said Dora, after a pause, 'there's no doubt Maud and I
ought to think very seriously about the future. You are aware,
Jasper, that mother has not been able to save a penny of her
income.'
'I don't see how she could have done. Of course I know what
you're thinking; but for me, it would have been possible. I don't
mind confessing to you that the thought troubles me a little now
and then; I shouldn't like to see you two going off governessing
in strangers' houses. All I can say is, that I am very honestly
working for the end which I am convinced will be most profitable.
I shall not desert you; you needn't fear that. But just put your
heads together, and cultivate your writing faculty. Suppose you
could both together earn about a hundred a year in Grub Street,
it would be better than governessing; wouldn't it?'
'You say you don't know what Miss Yule writes?'
'Well, I know a little more about her than I did yesterday. I've
had an hour's talk with her this afternoon.'
'Indeed?'
'Met her down in the Leggatt fields. I find she doesn't write
independently; just helps her father. What the help amounts to I
can't say. There's something very attractive about her. She
quoted a line or two of Tennyson; the first time I ever heard a
woman speak blank verse with any kind of decency.'
'She was walking alone?'
'Yes. On the way back we met old Yule; he seemed rather grumpy, I
thought. I don't think she's the kind of girl to make a paying
business of literature. Her qualities are personal. And it's
pretty clear to me that the valley of the shadow of books by no
means agrees with her disposition. Possibly old Yule is something
of a tyrant.'
'He doesn't impress me very favourably. Do you think you will
keep up their acquaintance in London?'
'Can't say. I wonder what sort of a woman that mother really is?
Can't be so very gross, I should think.'
'Miss Harrow knows nothing about her, except that she was a quite
uneducated girl.'
'But, dash it! by this time she must have got decent manners. Of
course there may be other objections. Mrs Reardon knows nothing
against her.'
Midway in the following morning, as Jasper sat with a book in the
garden, he was surprised to see Alfred Yule enter by the gate.
'I thought,' began the visitor, who seemed in high spirits, 'that
you might like to see something I received this morning.'
He unfolded a London evening paper, and indicated a long letter
from a casual correspondent. It was written by the authoress of
'On the Boards,' and drew attention, with much expenditure of
witticism, to the conflicting notices of that book which had
appeared in The Study. Jasper read the thing with laughing
appreciation.
'Just what one expected!'
'And I have private letters on the subject,' added Mr Yule.
'There has been something like a personal conflict between Fadge
and the man who looks after the minor notices. Fadge,more suo,
charged the other man with a design to damage him and the paper.
There's talk of legal proceedings. An immense joke!'
He laughed in his peculiar croaking way.
'Do you feel disposed for a turn along the lanes, Mr Milvain?'
'By all means.--There's my mother at the window; will you come in
for a moment?'
With a step of quite unusual sprightliness Mr Yule entered the
house. He could talk of but one subject, and Mrs Milvain had to
listen to a laboured account of the blunder just committed by The
Study. It was Alfred's Yule's characteristic that he could do
nothing lighthandedly. He seemed always to converse with effort;
he took a seat with stiff ungainliness; he walked with a
stumbling or sprawling gait.
When he and Jasper set out for their ramble, his loquacity was in
strong contrast with the taciturn mood he had exhibited yesterday
and the day before. He fell upon the general aspects of
contemporary literature.
'. . . The evil of the time is the multiplication of ephemerides.
Hence a demand for essays, descriptive articles, fragments of
criticism, out of all proportion to the supply of even tolerable
work. The men who have an aptitude for turning out this kind of
thing in vast quantities are enlisted by every new periodical,
with the result that their productions are ultimately watered
down into worthlessness. . . . Well now, there's Fadge. Years ago
some of Fadge's work was not without a certain--a certain
conditional promise of--of comparative merit; but now his
writing, in my opinion, is altogether beneath consideration; how
Rackett could be so benighted as to give him The Study--
especially after a man like Henry Hawkridge--passes my
comprehension. Did you read a paper of his, a few months back, in
The Wayside, a preposterous rehabilitation of Elkanah Settle? Ha!
ha! That's what such men are driven to. Elkanah Settle! And he
hadn't even a competent acquaintance with his paltry subject.
Will you credit that he twice or thrice referred to Settle's
reply to "Absalom and Achitophel" by the title of "Absalom
Transposed," when every schoolgirl knows that the thing was
called "Achitophel Transposed"! This was monstrous enough, but
there was something still more contemptible. He positively, I
assure you, attributed the play of "Epsom Wells" to Crowne! I
should have presumed that every student of even the most trivial
primer of literature was aware that "Epsom Wells" was written by
Shadwell. . . . Now, if one were to take Shadwell for the subject
of a paper, one might very well show how unjustly his name has
fallen into contempt. It has often occurred to me to do this.
"But Shadwell never deviates into sense." The sneer, in my
opinion, is entirely unmerited. For my own part, I put Shadwell
very high among the dramatists of his time, and I think I could
show that his absolute worth is by no means inconsiderable.
Shadwell has distinct vigour of dramatic conception; his
dialogue. . . .'
And as he talked the man kept describing imaginary geometrical
figures with the end of his walking-stick; he very seldom raised
his eyes from the ground, and the stoop in his shoulders grew
more and more pronounced, until at a little distance one might
have taken him for a hunchback. At one point Jasper made a pause
to speak of the pleasant wooded prospect that lay before them;
his companion regarded it absently, and in a moment or two asked:
'Did you ever come across Cottle's poem on the Malvern Hills? No?
It contains a couple of the richest lines ever put into print:
It needs the evidence of close deduction
To know that I shall ever reach the top.
Perfectly serious poetry, mind you!'
He barked in laughter. Impossible to interest him in anything
apart from literature; yet one saw him to be a man of solid
understanding, and not without perception of humour. He had read
vastly; his memory was a literary cyclopaedia. His failings,
obvious enough, were the results of a strong and somewhat
pedantic individuality ceaselessly at conflict with unpropitious
circumstances.
Towards the young man his demeanour varied between a shy
cordiality and a dignified reserve which was in danger of seeming
pretentious. On the homeward part of the walk he made a few
discreet inquiries regarding Milvain's literary achievements and
prospects, and the frank self-confidence of the replies appeared
to interest him. But he expressed no desire to number Jasper
among his acquaintances in town, and of his own professional or
private concerns he said not a word.
'Whether he could be any use to me or not, I don't exactly know,'
Jasper remarked to his mother and sisters at dinner. 'I suspect
it's as much as he can do to keep a footing among the younger
tradesmen. But I think he might have said he was willing to help
me if he could.'
'Perhaps,' replied Maud, 'your large way of talking made him
think any such offer superfluous.'
'You have still to learn,' said Jasper, 'that modesty helps a man
in no department of modern life. People take you at your own
valuation. It's the men who declare boldly that they need no help
to whom practical help comes from all sides. As likely as not
Yule will mention my name to someone. "A young fellow who seems
to see his way pretty clear before him." The other man will
repeat it to somebody else, "A young fellow whose way is clear
before him," and so I come to the ears of a man who thinks "Just
the fellow I want; I must look him up and ask him if he'll do
such-and-such a thing." But I should like to see these Yules at
home; I must fish for an invitation.'
In the afternoon, Miss Harrow and Marian came at the expected
hour. Jasper purposely kept out of the way until he was summoned
to the tea-table.
The Milvain girls were so far from effusive, even towards old
acquaintances, that even the people who knew them best spoke of
them as rather cold and perhaps a trifle condescending; there
were people in Wattleborough who declared their airs of
superiority ridiculous and insufferable. The truth was that
nature had endowed them with a larger share of brains than was
common in their circle, and had added that touch of pride which
harmonised so ill with the restrictions of poverty. Their life
had a tone of melancholy, the painful reserve which characterises
a certain clearly defined class in the present day. Had they been
born twenty years earlier, the children of that veterinary
surgeon would have grown up to a very different, and in all
probability a much happier, existence, for their education would
have been limited to the strictly needful, and--certainly in the
case of the girls--nothing would have encouraged them to look
beyond the simple life possible to a poor man's offspring. But
whilst Maud and Dora were still with their homely schoolmistress,
Wattleborough saw fit to establish a Girls' High School, and the
moderateness of the fees enabled these sisters to receive an
intellectual training wholly incompatible with the material
conditions of their life. To the relatively poor (who are so much
worse off than the poor absolutely) education is in most cases a
mocking cruelty. The burden of their brother's support made it
very difficult for Maud and Dora even to dress as became their
intellectual station; amusements, holidays, the purchase of such
simple luxuries as were all but indispensable to them, could not
be thought of. It resulted that they held apart from the society
which would have welcomed them, for they could not bear to
receive without offering in turn. The necessity of giving lessons
galled them; they felt--and with every reason--that it made their
position ambiguous. So that, though they could not help knowing
many people, they had no intimates; they encouraged no one to
visit them, and visited other houses as little as might be.
In Marian Yule they divined a sympathetic nature. She was unlike
any girl with whom they had hitherto associated, and it was the
impulse of both to receive her with unusual friendliness. The
habit of reticence could not be at once overcome, and Marian's
own timidity was an obstacle in the way of free intercourse, but
Jasper's conversation at tea helped to smooth the course of
things.
'I wish you lived anywhere near us,' Dora said to their visitor,
as the three girls walked in the garden afterwards, and Maud
echoed the wish.
'It would be very nice,' was Marian's reply. 'I have no friends
of my own age in London.'
'None?'
'Not one!'
She was about to add something, but in the end kept silence.
'You seem to get along with Miss Yule pretty well, after all,'
said Jasper, when the family were alone again.
'Did you anticipate anything else?' Maud asked.
'It seemed doubtful, up at Yule's house. Well, get her to come
here again before I go. But it's a pity she doesn't play the
piano,' he added, musingly.
For two days nothing was seen of the Yules. Jasper went each
afternoon to the stream in the valley, but did not again meet
Marian. In the meanwhile he was growing restless. A fortnight
always exhausted his capacity for enjoying the companionship of
his mother and sisters, and this time he seemed anxious to get to
the end of his holiday. For all that, there was no continuance of
the domestic bickering which had begun. Whatever the reason, Maud
behaved with unusual mildness to her brother, and Jasper in turn
was gently disposed to both the girls.
On the morning of the third day--it was Saturday--he kept silence
through breakfast, and just as all were about to rise from the
table, he made a sudden announcement:
'I shall go to London this afternoon.'
'This afternoon?' all exclaimed. 'But Monday is your day.'
'No, I shall go this afternoon, by the 2.45.'
And he left the room. Mrs Milvain and the girls exchanged looks.
'I suppose he thinks the Sunday will be too wearisome,' said the
mother.
'Perhaps so,' Maud agreed, carelessly.
Half an hour later, just as Dora was ready to leave the house for
her engagements in Wattleborough, her brother came into the hall
and took his hat, saying:
'I'll walk a little way with you, if you don't mind.'
When they were in the road, he asked her in an offhand manner:
'Do you think I ought to say good-bye to the Yules? Or won't it
signify?'
'I should have thought you would wish to.'
'I don't care about it. And, you see, there's been no hint of a
wish on their part that I should see them in London. No, I'll
just leave you to say good-bye for me.'
'But they expect to see us to-day or to-morrow. You told them you
were not going till Monday, and you don't know but Mr Yule might
mean to say something yet.'
'Well, I had rather he didn't,' replied Jasper, with a laugh.
'Oh, indeed?'
'I don't mind telling you,' he laughed again. 'I'm afraid of that
girl. No, it won't do! You understand that I'm a practical man,
and I shall keep clear of dangers. These days of holiday idleness
put all sorts of nonsense into one's head.'
Dora kept her eyes down, and smiled ambiguously.
'You must act as you think fit,' she remarked at length.
'Exactly. Now I'll turn back. You'll be with us at dinner?'
They parted. But Jasper did not keep to the straight way home.
First of all, he loitered to watch a reaping-machine at work;
then he turned into a lane which led up the hill on which was
John Yule's house. Even if he had purposed making a farewell
call, it was still far too early; all he wanted to do was to pass
an hour of the morning, which threatened to lie heavy on his
hands. So he rambled on, and went past the house, and took the
field-path which would lead him circuitously home again.
His mother desired to speak to him. She was in the dining-room;
in the parlour Maud was practising music.
'I think I ought to tell you of something I did yesterday,
Jasper,' Mrs Milvain began. 'You see, my dear, we have been
rather straitened lately, and my health, you know, grows so
uncertain, and, all things considered, I have been feeling very
anxious about the girls. So I wrote to your uncle William, and
told him that I must positively have that money. I must think of
my own children before his.'
The matter referred to was this. The deceased Mr Milvain had a
brother who was a struggling shopkeeper in a Midland town. Some
ten years ago, William Milvain, on the point of bankruptcy, had
borrowed a hundred and seventy pounds from his brother in
Wattleborough, and this debt was still unpaid; for on the death
of Jasper's father repayment of the loan was impossible for
William, and since then it had seemed hopeless that the sum would
ever be recovered. The poor shopkeeper had a large family, and
Mrs Milvain, notwithstanding her own position, had never felt
able to press him; her relative, however, often spoke of the
business, and declared his intention of paying whenever he could.
'You can't recover by law now, you know,' said Jasper.
'But we have a right to the money, law or no law. He must pay
it.'
'He will simply refuse--and be justified. Poverty doesn't allow
of honourable feeling, any more than of compassion. I'm sorry you
wrote like that. You won't get anything, and you might as well
have enjoyed the reputation of forbearance.'
Mrs Milvain was not able to appreciate this characteristic
remark. Anxiety weighed upon her, and she became irritable.
'I am obliged to say, Jasper, that you seem rather thoughtless.
If it were only myself I would make any sacrifice for you; but
you must remember--'
'Now listen, mother,' he interrupted, laying a hand on her
shoulder; 'I have been thinking about all this, and the fact of
the matter is, I shall do my best to ask you for no more money.
It may or may not be practicable, but I'll have a try. So don't
worry. If uncle writes that he can't pay, just explain why you
wrote, and keep him gently in mind of the thing, that's all. One
doesn't like to do brutal things if one can avoid them, you
know.'
The young man went to the parlour and listened to Maud's music
for awhile. But restlessness again drove him forth. Towards
eleven o'clock he was again ascending in the direction of John
Yule's house. Again he had no intention of calling, but when he
reached the iron gates he lingered.
'I will, by Jove!' he said within himself at last. 'Just to prove
I have complete command of myself. It's to be a display of
strength, not weakness.'
At the house door he inquired for Mr Alfred Yule. That gentleman
had gone in the carriage to Wattleborough, half an hour ago, with
his brother.
'Miss Yule?'
Yes, she was within. Jasper entered the sitting-room, waited a
few moments, and Marian appeared. She wore a dress in which
Milvain had not yet seen her, and it had the effect of making him
regard her attentively. The smile with which she had come towards
him passed from her face, which was perchance a little warmer of
hue than commonly.
'I'm sorry your father is away, Miss Yule,' Jasper began, in an
animated voice. 'I wanted to say good-bye to him. I return to
London in a few hours.'
'You are going sooner than you intended?'
'Yes, I feel I mustn't waste any more time. I think the country
air is doing you good; you certainly look better than when I
passed you that first day.'
'I feel better, much.'
'My sisters are anxious to see you again. I shouldn't wonder if
they come up this afternoon.'
Marian had seated herself on the sofa, and her hands were linked
upon her lap in the same way as when Jasper spoke with her here
before, the palms downward. The beautiful outline of her bent
head was relieved against a broad strip of sunlight on the wall
behind her.
'They deplore,' he continued in a moment, 'that they should come
to know you only to lose you again so soon.
'I have quite as much reason to be sorry,' she answered, looking
at him with the slightest possible smile. 'But perhaps they will
let me write to them, and hear from them now and then.'
'They would think it an honour. Country girls are not often
invited to correspond with literary ladies in London.'
He said it with as much jocoseness as civility allowed, then at
once rose.
'Father will be very sorry,' Marian began, with one quick glance
towards the window and then another towards the door. 'Perhaps he
might possibly be able to see you before you go?'
Jasper stood in hesitation. There was a look on the girl's face
which, under other circumstances, would have suggested a ready
answer.
'I mean,' she added, hastily, 'he might just call, or even see
you at the station?'
'Oh, I shouldn't like to give Mr Yule any trouble. It's my own
fault, for deciding to go to-day. I shall leave by the 2.45.'
He offered his hand.
'I shall look for your name in the magazines, Miss Yule.'
'Oh, I don't think you will ever find it there.'
He laughed incredulously, shook hands with her a second time, and
strode out of the room, head erect--feeling proud of himself.
When Dora came home at dinner-time, he informed her of what he
had done.
'A very interesting girl,' he added impartially. 'I advise you to
make a friend of her. Who knows but you may live in London some
day, and then she might be valuable--morally, I mean. For myself,
I shall do my best not to see her again for a long time; she's
dangerous.'
Jasper was unaccompanied when he went to the station. Whilst
waiting on the platform, he suffered from apprehension lest
Alfred Yule's seamed visage should present itself; but no
acquaintance approached him. Safe in the corner of his third-
class carriage, he smiled at the last glimpse of the familiar
fields, and began to think of something he had decided to write
for The West End.
Eight flights of stairs, consisting alternately of eight and nine
steps. Amy had made the calculation, and wondered what was the
cause of this arrangement. The ascent was trying, but then no one
could contest the respectability of the abode. In the flat
immediately beneath resided a successful musician, whose carriage
and pair came at a regular hour each afternoon to take him and
his wife for a most respectable drive. In this special building
no one else seemed at present to keep a carriage, but all the
tenants were gentlefolk.
And as to living up at the very top, why, there were distinct
advantages--as so many people of moderate income are nowadays
hastening to discover. The noise from the street was diminished
at this height; no possible tramplers could establish themselves
above your head; the air was bound to be purer than that of
inferior strata; finally, one had the flat roof whereon to sit or
expatiate in sunny weather. True that a gentle rain of soot was
wont to interfere with one's comfort out there in the open, but
such minutiae are easily forgotten in the fervour of domestic
description. It was undeniable that on a fine day one enjoyed
extensive views. The green ridge from Hampstead to Highgate, with
Primrose Hill and the foliage of Regent's Park in the foreground;
the suburban spaces of St John's Wood, Maida Vale, Kilburn;
Westminster Abbey and the Houses of Parliament, lying low by the
side of the hidden river, and a glassy gleam on far-off hills
which meant the Crystal Palace; then the clouded majesty of
eastern London, crowned by St Paul's dome. These things one's
friends were expected to admire. Sunset often afforded rich
effects, but they were for solitary musing.
A sitting-room, a bedroom, a kitchen. But the kitchen was called
dining-room, or even parlour at need; for the cooking-range lent
itself to concealment behind an ornamental screen, the walls
displayed pictures and bookcases, and a tiny scullery which lay
apart sufficed for the coarser domestic operations. This was
Amy's territory during the hours when her husband was working, or
endeavouring to work. Of necessity, Edwin Reardon used the front
room as his study. His writing-table stood against the window;
each wall had its shelves of serried literature; vases, busts,
engravings (all of the inexpensive kind) served for ornaments.
A maid-servant, recently emancipated from the Board school, came
at half-past seven each morning, and remained until two o'clock,
by which time the Reardons had dined; on special occasions, her
services were enlisted for later hours. But it was Reardon's
habit to begin the serious work of the day at about three
o'clock, and to continue with brief interruptions until ten or
eleven; in many respects an awkward arrangement, but enforced by
the man's temperament and his poverty.
One evening he sat at his desk with a slip of manuscript paper
before him. It was the hour of sunset. His outlook was upon the
backs of certain large houses skirting Regent's Park, and lights
had begun to show here and there in the windows:in one room a man
was discoverable dressing for dinner, he had not thought it
worth while to lower the blind; in another, some people were
playing billiards. The higher windows reflected a rich glow from
the western sky.
For two or three hours Reardon had been seated in much the same
attitude. Occasionally he dipped his pen into the ink and seemed
about to write: but each time the effort was abortive. At the
head of the paper was inscribed 'Chapter III.,' but that was all.
And now the sky was dusking over; darkness would soon fall.
He looked something older than his years, which were two-and-
thirty; on his face was the pallor of mental suffering. Often he
fell into a fit of absence, and gazed at vacancy with wide,
miserable eyes. Returning to consciousness, he fidgeted nervously
on his chair, dipped his pen for the hundredth time, bent forward
in feverish determination to work. Useless; he scarcely knew what
he wished to put into words, and his brain refused to construct
the simplest sentence.
The colours faded from the sky, and night came quickly. Reardon
threw his arms upon the desk, let his head fall forward, and
remained so, as if asleep.
Presently the door opened, and a young, clear voice made inquiry:
'Don't you want the lamp, Edwin?'
The man roused himself, turned his chair a little, and looked
towards the open door.
'Come here, Amy.'
His wife approached. It was not quite dark in the room, for a
glimmer came from the opposite houses.
'What's the matter? Can't you do anything?'
'I haven't written a word to-day. At this rate, one goes crazy.
Come and sit by me a minute, dearest.'
'I'll get the lamp.'
'No; come and talk to me; we can understand each other better.'
'Nonsense; you have such morbid ideas. I can't bear to sit in the
gloom.'
At once she went away, and quickly reappeared with a
reading-lamp, which she placed on the square table in the middle
of the room.
'Draw down the blind, Edwin.'
She was a slender girl, but not very tall; her shoulders seemed
rather broad in proportion to her waist and the part of her
figure below it. The hue of her hair was ruddy gold; loosely
arranged tresses made a superb crown to the beauty of her small,
refined head. Yet the face was not of distinctly feminine type;
with short hair and appropriate clothing, she would have passed
unquestioned as a handsome boy of seventeen, a spirited boy too,
and one much in the habit of giving orders to inferiors. Her nose
would have been perfect but for ever so slight a crook which made
it preferable to view her in full face than in profile; her lips
curved sharply out, and when she straightened them of a sudden,
the effect was not reassuring to anyone who had counted upon her
for facile humour. In harmony with the broad shoulders, she had a
strong neck; as she bore the lamp into the room a slight turn of
her head showed splendid muscles from the ear downward. It was a
magnificently clear-cut bust; one thought, in looking at her, of
the newly-finished head which some honest sculptor has wrought
with his own hand from the marble block; there was a suggestion
of 'planes' and of the chisel. The atmosphere was cold; ruddiness
would have been quite out of place on her cheeks, and a flush
must have been the rarest thing there.
Her age was not quite two-and-twenty; she had been wedded nearly
two years, and had a child ten months old.
As for her dress, it was unpretending in fashion and colour, but
of admirable fit. Every detail of her appearance denoted
scrupulous personal refinement. She walked well; you saw that the
foot, however gently, was firmly planted. When she seated herself
her posture was instantly graceful, and that of one who is
indifferent about support for the back.
'What is the matter?' she began. 'Why can't you get on with the
story?'
It was the tone of friendly remonstrance, not exactly of
affection, not at all of tender solicitude.
Reardon had risen and wished to approach her, but could not do so
directly. He moved to another part of the room, then came round
to the back of her chair, and bent his face upon her shoulder.
'Amy--'
'Well.'
'I think it's all over with me. I don't think I shall write any
more.'
'Don't be so foolish, dear. What is to prevent your writing?'
'Perhaps I am only out of sorts. But I begin to be horribly
afraid. My will seems to be fatally weakened. I can't see my way
to the end of anything; if I get hold of an idea which seems
good, all the sap has gone out of it before I have got it into
working shape. In these last few months, I must have begun a
dozen different books; I have been ashamed to tell you of each
new beginning. I write twenty pages, perhaps, and then my courage
fails. I am disgusted with the thing, and can't go on with it--
can't! My fingers refuse to hold the pen. In mere writing, I have
done enough to make much more than three volumes; but it's all
destroyed.'
'Because of your morbid conscientiousness. There was no need to
destroy what you had written. It was all good enough for the
market.'
'Don't use that word, Amy. I hate it!'
'You can't afford to hate it,' was her rejoinder, in very
practical tones. 'However it was before, you must write for the
market now. You have admitted that yourself.'
He kept silence.
'Where are you?' she went on to ask. 'What have you actually
done?'
'Two short chapters of a story I can't go on with. The three
volumes lie before me like an interminable desert. Impossible to
get through them. The idea is stupidly artificial, and I haven't
a living character in it.'
'The public don't care whether the characters are living or not.-
-Don't stand behind me, like that; it's such an awkward way of
talking. Come and sit down.'
He drew away, and came to a position whence he could see her
face, but kept at a distance.
'Yes,' he said, in a different way, 'that's the worst of it.'
'What is?'
'That you--well, it's no use.'
'That I--what?'
She did not look at him; her lips, after she had spoken, drew in
a little.
'That your disposition towards me is being affected by this
miserable failure. You keep saying to yourself that I am not what
you thought me. Perhaps you even feel that I have been guilty of
a sort of deception. I don't blame you; it's natural enough.'
'I'll tell you quite honestly what I do think,' she replied,
after a short silence. 'You are much weaker than I imagined.
Difficulties crush you, instead of rousing you to struggle.'
'True. It has always been my fault.'
'But don't you feel it's rather unmanly, this state of things?
You say you love me, and I try to believe it. But whilst you are
saying so, you let me get nearer and nearer to miserable, hateful
poverty. What is to become of me--of us? Shall you sit here day
after day until our last shilling is spent?'
'No; of course I must do something.'
'When shall you begin in earnest? In a day or two you must pay
this quarter's rent, and that will leave us just about fifteen
pounds in the world. Where is the rent at Christmas to come from?
What are we to live upon? There's all sorts of clothing to be
bought; there'll be all the extra expenses of winter. Surely it's
bad enough that we have had to stay here all the summer; no
holiday of any kind. I have done my best not to grumble about it,
but I begin to think that it would be very much wiser if I did
grumble.'
She squared her shoulders, and gave her head just a little shake,
as if a fly had troubled her.
'You bear everything very well and kindly,' said Reardon. 'My
behaviour is contemptible; I know that. Good heavens! if I only
had some business to go to, something I could work at in any
state of mind, and make money out of! Given this chance, I would
work myself to death rather than you should lack anything you
desire. But I am at the mercy of my brain; it is dry and
powerless. How I envy those clerks who go by to their offices in
the morning! There's the day's work cut out for them; no question
of mood and feeling; they have just to work at something, and
when the evening comes, they have earned their wages, they are
free to rest and enjoy themselves. What an insane thing it is to
make literature one's only means of support! When the most
trivial accident may at any time prove fatal to one's power of
work for weeks or months. No, that is the unpardonable sin! To
make a trade of an art! I am rightly served for attempting such a
brutal folly.'
He turned away in a passion of misery.
'How very silly it is to talk like this!' came in Amy's voice,
clearly critical. 'Art must be practised as a trade, at all
events in our time. This is the age of trade. Of course if one
refuses to be of one's time, and yet hasn't the means to live
independently, what can result but breakdown and wretchedness?
The fact of the matter is, you could do fairly good work, and
work which would sell, if only you would bring yourself to look
at things in a more practical way. It's what Mr Milvain is always
saying, you know.'
'Milvain's temperament is very different from mine. He is
naturally light-hearted and hopeful; I am naturally the opposite.
What you and he say is true enough; the misfortune is that I
can't act upon it. I am no uncompromising artistic pedant; I am
quite willing to try and do the kind of work that will sell;
under the circumstances it would be a kind of insanity if I
refused. But power doesn't answer to the will. My efforts are
utterly vain; I suppose the prospect of pennilessness is itself a
hindrance; the fear haunts me. With such terrible real things
pressing upon me, my imagination can shape nothing substantial.
When I have laboured out a story, I suddenly see it in a light of
such contemptible triviality that to work at it is an impossible
thing.'
'You are ill, that's the fact of the matter. You ought to have
had a holiday. I think even now you had better go away for a week
or two. Do, Edwin!'
'Impossible! It would be the merest pretence of holiday. To go
away and leave you here--no!'
'Shall I ask mother or Jack to lend us some money?'
'That would be intolerable.'
'But this state of things is intolerable!'
Reardon walked the length of the room and back again.
'Your mother has no money to lend, dear, and your brother would
do it so unwillingly that we can't lay ourselves under such an
obligation.'
'Yet it will come to that, you know,' remarked Amy, calmly.
'No, it shall not come to that. I must and will get something
done long before Christmas. If only you--'
He came and took one of her hands.
'If only you will give me more sympathy, dearest. You see, that's
one side of my weakness. I am utterly dependent upon you. Your
kindness is the breath of life to me. Don't refuse it!'
'But I have done nothing of the kind.'
'You begin to speak very coldly. And I understand your feeling of
disappointment. The mere fact of your urging me to do anything
that will sell is a proof of bitter disappointment. You would
have looked with scorn at anyone who talked to me like that two
years ago. You were proud of me because my work wasn't altogether
common, and because I had never written a line that was meant to
attract the vulgar. All that's over now. If you knew how dreadful
it is to see that you have lost your hopes of me!'
'Well, but I haven't--altogether,' Amy replied, meditatively. 'I
know very well that, if you had a lot of money, you would do
better things than ever.'
'Thank you a thousand times for saying that, my dearest.'
'But, you see, we haven't money, and there's little chance of our
getting any. That scrubby old uncle won't leave anything to us; I
feel too sure of it. I often feel disposed to go and beg him on
my knees to think of us in his will.' She laughed. 'I suppose
it's impossible, and would be useless; but I should be capable of
it if I knew it would bring money.'
Reardon said nothing.
'I didn't think so much of money when we were married,' Amy
continued. 'I had never seriously felt the want of it, you know.
I did think--there's no harm in confessing it--that you were sure
to be rich some day; but I should have married you all the same
if I had known that you would win only reputation.'
'You are sure of that?'
'Well, I think so. But I know the value of money better now. I
know it is the most powerful thing in the world. If I had to
choose between a glorious reputation with poverty and a
contemptible popularity with wealth, I should choose the latter.'
'No!'
'I should.'
'Perhaps you are right.'
He turned away with a sigh.
'Yes, you are right. What is reputation? If it is deserved, it
originates with a few score of people among the many millions who
would never have recognised the merit they at last applaud.
That's the lot of a great genius. As for a mediocrity like me--
what ludicrous absurdity to fret myself in the hope that
half-a-dozen folks will say I am "above the average!" After all,
is there sillier vanity than this? A year after I have published
my last book, I shall be practically forgotten; ten years later,
I shall be as absolutely forgotten as one of those novelists of
the early part of this century, whose names one doesn't even
recognise. What fatuous posing!'
Amy looked askance at him, but replied nothing.
'And yet,' he continued, 'of course it isn't only for the sake of
reputation that one tries to do uncommon work. There's the
shrinking from conscious insincerity of workmanship--which most
of the writers nowadays seem never to feel. "It's good enough for
the market"; that satisfies them. And perhaps they are justified.
I can't pretend that I rule my life by absolute ideals; I admit
that everything is relative. There is no such thing as goodness
or badness, in the absolute sense, of course. Perhaps I am
absurdly inconsistent when--though knowing my work can't be first
rate--I strive to make it as good as possible. I don't say this
in irony, Amy; I really mean it. It may very well be that I am
just as foolish as the people I ridicule for moral and religious
superstition. This habit of mine is superstitious. How well I can
imagine the answer of some popular novelist if he heard me speak
scornfully of his books. "My dear fellow," he might say, "do you
suppose I am not aware that my books are rubbish? I know it just
as well as you do. But my vocation is to live comfortably. I have
a luxurious house, a wife and children who are happy and grateful
to me for their happiness. If you choose to live in a garret,
and, what's worse, make your wife and children share it with you,
that's your concern." The man would be abundantly right.'
'But,' said Amy, 'why should you assume that his books are
rubbish? Good work succeeds--now and then.'
'I speak of the common kind of success, which is never due to
literary merit. And if I speak bitterly, well, I am suffering
from my powerlessness. I am a failure, my poor girl, and it isn't
easy for me to look with charity on the success of men who
deserved it far less than I did, when I was still able to work.'
'Of course, Edwin, if you make up your mind that you are a
failure, you will end by being so. But I'm convinced there's no
reason that you should fail to make a living with your pen. Now
let me advise you; put aside all your strict ideas about what is
worthy and what is unworthy, and just act upon my advice. It's
impossible for you to write a three-volume novel; very well, then
do a short story of a kind that's likely to be popular. You know
Mr Milvain is always saying that the long novel has had its day,
and that in future people will write shilling books. Why not try?
Give yourself a week to invent a sensational plot, and then a
fortnight for the writing. Have it ready for the new season at
the end of October. If you like, don't put your name to it; your
name certainly would have no weight with this sort of public.
Just make it a matter of business, as Mr Milvain says, and see if
you can't earn some money.'
He stood and regarded her. His expression was one of pained
perplexity.
'You mustn't forget, Amy, that it needs a particular kind of
faculty to write stories of this sort. The invention of a plot is
just the thing I find most difficult.'
'But the plot may be as silly as you like, providing it holds the
attention of vulgar readers. Think of "The Hollow Statue", what
could be more idiotic? Yet it sells by thousands.'
'I don't think I can bring myself to that,' Reardon said, in a
low voice.
'Very well, then will you tell me what you propose to do?'
'I might perhaps manage a novel in two volumes, instead of
three.'
He seated himself at the writing-table, and stared at the blank
sheets of paper in an anguish of hopelessness.
'It will take you till Christmas,' said Amy, 'and then you will
get perhaps fifty pounds for it.'
'I must do my best. I'll go out and try to get some ideas. I--'
He broke off and looked steadily at his wife.
'What is it?' she asked.
'Suppose I were to propose to you to leave this flat and take
cheaper rooms?'
He uttered it in a shamefaced way, his eyes falling. Amy kept
silence.
'We might sublet it,' he continued, in the same tone, 'for the
last year of the lease.'
'And where do you propose to live?' Amy inquired, coldly.
'There's no need to be in such a dear neighbourhood. We could go
to one of the outer districts. One might find three unfurnished
rooms for about eight-and-sixpence a week--less than half our
rent here.'
'You must do as seems good to you.'
'For Heaven's sake, Amy, don't speak to me in that way! I can't
stand that! Surely you can see that I am driven to think of every
possible resource. To speak like that is to abandon me. Say you
can't or won't do it, but don't treat me as if you had no share
in my miseries!'
She was touched for the moment.
'I didn't mean to speak unkindly, dear. But think what it means,
to give up our home and position. That is open confession of
failure. It would be horrible.'
'I won't think of it. I have three months before Christmas, and I
will finish a book!'
'I really can't see why you shouldn't. Just do a certain number
of pages every day. Good or bad, never mind; let the pages be
finished. Now you have got two chapters--'
'No; that won't do. I must think of a better subject.'
Amy made a gesture of impatience.
'There you are! What does the subject matter? Get this book
finished and sold, and then do something better next time.'
'Give me to-night, just to think. Perhaps one of the old stories
I have thrown aside will come back in a clearer light. I'll go
out for an hour; you don't mind being left alone?'
'You mustn't think of such trifles as that.'
'But nothing that concerns you in the slightest way is a trifle
to me--nothing! I can't bear that you should forget that. Have
patience with me, darling, a little longer.'
He knelt by her, and looked up into her face.
'Say only one or two kind words--like you used to!'
She passed her hand lightly over his hair, and murmured something
with a faint smile.
Then Reardon took his hat and stick and descended the eight
flights of stone steps, and walked in the darkness round the
outer circle of Regent's Park, racking his fagged brain in a
hopeless search for characters, situations, motives.
Even in mid-rapture of his marriage month he had foreseen this
possibility; but fate had hitherto rescued him in sudden ways
when he was on the brink of self-abandonment, and it was hard to
imagine that this culmination of triumphant joy could be a
preface to base miseries.
He was the son of a man who had followed many different pursuits,
and in none had done much more than earn a livelihood. At the age
of forty--when Edwin, his only child, was ten years old--Mr
Reardon established himself in the town of Hereford as a
photographer, and there he abode until his death, nine years
after, occasionally risking some speculation not inconsistent
with the photographic business, but always with the result of
losing the little capital he ventured. Mrs Reardon died when
Edwin had reached his fifteenth year. In breeding and education
she was superior to her husband, to whom, moreover, she had
brought something between four and five hundred pounds; her
temper was passionate in both senses of the word, and the
marriage could hardly be called a happy one, though it was never
disturbed by serious discord. The photographer was a man of whims
and idealisms; his wife had a strong vein of worldly ambition.
They made few friends, and it was Mrs Reardon's frequently
expressed desire to go and live in London, where fortune, she
thought, might be kinder to them. Reardon had all but made up his
mind to try this venture when he suddenly became a widower; after
that he never summoned energy to embark on new enterprises.
The boy was educated at an excellent local school; at eighteen he
had a far better acquaintance with the ancient classics than most
lads who have been expressly prepared for a university, and,
thanks to an anglicised Swiss who acted as an assistant in Mr
Reardon's business, he not only read French, but could talk it
with a certain haphazard fluency. These attainments, however,
were not of much practical use; the best that could be done for
Edwin was to place him in the office of an estate agent. His
health was indifferent, and it seemed likely that open-air
exercise, of which he would have a good deal under the particular
circumstances of the case, might counteract the effects of study
too closely pursued.
At his father's death he came into possession (practically it was
put at his disposal at once, though he was little more than
nineteen) of about two hundred pounds--a life-insurance for five
hundred had been sacrificed to exigencies not very long before.
He had no difficulty in deciding how to use this money. His
mother's desire to live in London had in him the force of an
inherited motive; as soon as possible he released himself from
his uncongenial occupations, converted into money all the
possessions of which he had not immediate need, and betook
himself to the metropolis.
To become a literary man, of course.
His capital lasted him nearly four years, for, notwithstanding
his age, he lived with painful economy. The strangest life, of
almost absolute loneliness. From a certain point of Tottenham
Court Road there is visible a certain garret window in a certain
street which runs parallel with that thoroughfare; for the
greater part of these four years the garret in question was
Reardon's home. He paid only three-and-sixpence a week for the
privilege of living there; his food cost him about a shilling a
day; on clothing and other unavoidable expenses he laid out some
five pounds yearly. Then he bought books--volumes which cost
anything between twopence and two shillings; further than that he
durst not go. A strange time, I assure you.
When he had completed his twenty-first year, he desired to
procure a reader's ticket for the British Museum. Now this was
not such a simple matter as you may suppose; it was necessary to
obtain the signature of some respectable householder, and Reardon
was acquainted with no such person. His landlady was a decent
woman enough, and a payer of rates and taxes, but it would look
odd, to say the least of it, to present oneself in Great Russell
Street armed with this person's recommendation. There was nothing
for it but to take a bold step, to force himself upon the
attention of a stranger--the thing from which his pride had
always shrunk. He wrote to a well-known novelist--a man with
whose works he had some sympathy. 'I am trying to prepare myself
for a literary career. I wish to study in the Reading-room of the
British Museum, but have no acquaintance to whom I can refer in
the ordinary way. Will you help me--I mean, in this particular
only?' That was the substance of his letter. For reply came an
invitation to a house in the West-end. With fear and trembling
Reardon answered the summons. He was so shabbily attired; he was
so diffident from the habit of living quite alone; he was
horribly afraid lest it should be supposed that he looked for
other assistance than he had requested. Well, the novelist was a
rotund and jovial man; his dwelling and his person smelt of
money; he was so happy himself that he could afford to be kind to
others.
'Have you published anything?' he inquired, for the young man's
letter had left this uncertain.
'Nothing. I have tried the magazines, but as yet without
success.'
'But what do you write?'
'Chiefly essays on literary subjects.'
'I can understand that you would find a difficulty in disposing
of them. That kind of thing is supplied either by men of
established reputation, or by anonymous writers who have a
regular engagement on papers and magazines. Give me an example of
your topics.'
'I have written something lately about Tibullus.'
'Oh, dear! Oh, dear!--Forgive me, Mr Reardon; my feelings were
too much for me; those names have been my horror ever since I was
a schoolboy. Far be it from me to discourage you, if your line is
to be solid literary criticism; I will only mention, as a matter
of fact, that such work is indifferently paid and in very small
demand. It hasn't occurred to you to try your hand at fiction?'
In uttering the word he beamed; to him it meant a thousand or so
a year.
'I am afraid I have no talent for that.'
The novelist could do no more than grant his genial signature for
the specified purpose, and add good wishes in abundance. Reardon
went home with his brain in a whirl. He had had his first glimpse
of what was meant by literary success. That luxurious study, with
its shelves of handsomely-bound books, its beautiful pictures,
its warm, fragrant air--great heavens! what might not a man do
who sat at his ease amid such surroundings!
He began to work at the Reading-room, but at the same time he
thought often of the novelist's suggestion, and before long had
written two or three short stories. No editor would accept them;
but he continued to practise himself in that art, and by degrees
came to fancy that, after all, perhaps he had some talent for
fiction. It was significant, however, that no native impulse had
directed him to novel-writing. His intellectual temper was that
of the student, the scholar, but strongly blended with a love of
independence which had always made him think with distaste of a
teacher's life. The stories he wrote were scraps of immature
psychology--the last thing a magazine would accept from an
unknown man.
His money dwindled, and there came a winter during which he
suffered much from cold and hunger. What a blessed refuge it was,
there under the great dome, when he must else have sat in his
windy garret with the mere pretence of a fire! The Reading-room
was his true home; its warmth enwrapped him kindly; the peculiar
odour of its atmosphere--at first a cause of headache--grew dear
and delightful to him. But he could not sit here until his last
penny should be spent. Something practical must be done, and
practicality was not his strong point.
Friends in London he had none; but for an occasional conversation
with his landlady he would scarcely have spoken a dozen words in
a week. His disposition was the reverse of democratic, and he
could not make acquaintances below his own intellectual level.
Solitude fostered a sensitiveness which to begin with was
extreme; the lack of stated occupation encouraged his natural
tendency to dream and procrastinate and hope for the improbable.
He was a recluse in the midst of millions, and viewed with dread
the necessity of going forth to fight for daily food.
Little by little he had ceased to hold any correspondence with
his former friends at Hereford. The only person to whom he still
wrote and from whom he still heard was his mother's father--an
old man who lived at Derby, retired from the business of a
draper, and spending his last years pleasantly enough with a
daughter who had remained single. Edwin had always been a
favourite with his grandfather, though they had met only once or
twice during the past eight years. But in writing he did not
allow it to be understood that he was in actual want, and he felt
that he must come to dire extremities before he could bring
himself to beg assistance.
He had begun to answer advertisements, but the state of his
wardrobe forbade his applying for any but humble positions. Once
or twice he presented himself personally at offices, but his
reception was so mortifying that death by hunger seemed
preferable to a continuance of such experiences. The injury to
his pride made him savagely arrogant; for days after the last
rejection he hid himself in his garret, hating the world.
He sold his little collection of books, and of course they
brought only a trifling sum. That exhausted, he must begin to
sell his clothes. And then--?
But help was at hand. One day he saw it advertised in a newspaper
that the secretary of a hospital in the north of London was in
need of a clerk; application was to be made by letter. He wrote,
and two days later, to his astonishment, received a reply asking
him to wait upon the secretary at a certain hour. In a fever of
agitation he kept the appointment, and found that his business
was with a young man in the very highest spirits, who walked up
and down a little office (the hospital was of the 'special'
order, a house of no great size), and treated the matter in hand
as an excellent joke.
'I thought, you know, of engaging someone much younger--quite a
lad, in fact. But look there! Those are the replies to my
advertisement.'
He pointed to a heap of five or six hundred letters, and laughed
consumedly.
'Impossible to read them all, you know. It seemed to me that the
fairest thing would be to shake them together, stick my hand in,
and take out one by chance. If it didn't seem very promising, I
would try a second time. But the first letter was yours, and I
thought the fair thing to do was at all events to see you, you
know. The fact is, I am only able to offer a pound a week.'
'I shall be very glad indeed to take that,' said Reardon, who was
bathed in perspiration.
'Then what about references, and so on?' proceeded the young man,
chuckling and rubbing his hands together.
The applicant was engaged. He had barely strength to walk home;
the sudden relief from his miseries made him, for the first time,
sensible of the extreme physical weakness into which he had sunk.
For the next week he was very ill, but he did not allow this to
interfere with his new work, which was easily learnt and not
burdensome.
He held this position for three years, and during that time
important things happened. When he had recovered from his state
of semi-starvation, and was living in comfort (a pound a week is
a very large sum if you have previously had to live on ten
shillings), Reardon found that the impulse to literary production
awoke in him more strongly than ever. He generally got home from
the hospital about six o'clock, and the evening was his own. In
this leisure time he wrote a novel in two volumes; one publisher
refused it, but a second offered to bring it out on the terms of
half profits to the author. The book appeared, and was well
spoken of in one or two papers; but profits there were none to
divide. In the third year of his clerkship he wrote a novel in
three volumes; for this his publishers gave him twenty-five
pounds, with again a promise of half the profits after deduction
of the sum advanced. Again there was no pecuniary success. He had
just got to work upon a third book, when his grandfather at Derby
died and left him four hundred pounds.
He could not resist the temptation to recover his freedom. Four
hundred pounds, at the rate of eighty pounds a year, meant five
years of literary endeavour. In that period he could certainly
determine whether or not it was his destiny to live by the pen.
In the meantime his relations with the secretary of the hospital,
Carter by name, had grown very friendly. When Reardon began to
publish books, the high-spirited Mr Carter looked upon him with
something of awe; and when the literary man ceased to be a clerk,
there was nothing to prevent association on equal terms between
him and his former employer. They continued to see a good deal of
each other, and Carter made Reardon acquainted with certain of
his friends, among whom was one John Yule, an easy-going,
selfish, semi-intellectual young man who had a place in a
Government office. The time of solitude had gone by for Reardon.
He began to develop the power that was in him.
Those two books of his were not of a kind to win popularity. They
dealt with no particular class of society (unless one makes a
distinct class of people who have brains), and they lacked local
colour. Their interest was almost purely psychological. It was
clear that the author had no faculty for constructing a story,
and that pictures of active life were not to be expected of him;
he could never appeal to the multitude. But strong
characterisation was within his scope, and an intellectual
fervour, appetising to a small section of refined readers, marked
all his best pages.
He was the kind of man who cannot struggle against adverse
conditions, but whom prosperity warms to the exercise of his
powers. Anything like the cares of responsibility would sooner or
later harass him into unproductiveness. That he should produce
much was in any case out of the question; possibly a book every
two or three years might not prove too great a strain upon his
delicate mental organism, but for him to attempt more than that
would certainly be fatal to the peculiar merit of his work. Of
this he was dimly conscious, and, on receiving his legacy, he put
aside for nearly twelve months the new novel he had begun. To
give his mind a rest he wrote several essays, much maturer than
those which had formerly failed to find acceptance, and two of
these appeared in magazines.
The money thus earned he spent--at a tailor's. His friend Carter
ventured to suggest this mode of outlay.
His third book sold for fifty pounds. It was a great improvement
on its predecessors, and the reviews were generally favourable.
For the story which followed, 'On Neutral Ground,' he received a
hundred pounds. On the strength of that he spent six months
travelling in the South of Europe.
He returned to London at mid-June, and on the second day after
his arrival befell an incident which was to control the rest of
his life. Busy with the pictures in the Grosvenor Gallery, he
heard himself addressed in a familiar voice, and on turning he
was aware of Mr Carter, resplendent in fashionable summer attire,
and accompanied by a young lady of some charms. Reardon had
formerly feared encounters of this kind, too conscious of the
defects of his attire; but at present there was no reason why he
should shirk social intercourse. He was passably dressed, and the
half-year of travel had benefited his appearance in no slight
degree. Carter presented him to the young lady, of whom the
novelist had already heard as affianced to his friend.
Whilst they stood conversing, there approached two ladies,
evidently mother and daughter, whose attendant was another of
Reardon's acquaintances, Mr John Yule. This gentleman stepped
briskly forward and welcomed the returned wanderer.
'Let me introduce you,' he said, 'to my mother and sister. Your
fame has made them anxious to know you.'
Reardon found himself in a position of which the novelty was
embarrassing, but scarcely disagreeable. Here were five people
grouped around him, all of whom regarded him unaffectedly as a
man of importance; for though, strictly speaking, he had no
'fame' at all, these persons had kept up with the progress of his
small repute, and were all distinctly glad to number among their
acquaintances an unmistakable author, one, too, who was fresh
from Italy and Greece. Mrs Yule, a lady rather too pretentious in
her tone to be attractive to a man of Reardon's refinement,
hastened to assure him how well his books were known in her
house, 'though for the run of ordinary novels we don't care
much.' Miss Yule, not at all pretentious in speech, and seemingly
reserved of disposition, was good enough to show frank interest
in the author. As for the poor author himself, well, he merely
fell in love with Miss Yule at first sight, and there was an end
of the matter.
A day or two later he made a call at their house, in the region
of Westbourne Park. It was a small house, and rather showily than
handsomely furnished; no one after visiting it would be
astonished to hear that Mrs Edmund Yule had but a small income,
and that she was often put to desperate expedients to keep up the
gloss of easy circumstances. In the gauzy and fluffy and varnishy
little drawing-room Reardon found a youngish gentleman already in
conversation with the widow and her daughter. This proved to be
one Mr Jasper Milvain, also a man of letters. Mr Milvain was glad
to meet Reardon, whose books he had read with decided interest.
'Really,' exclaimed Mrs Yule, 'I don't know how it is that we
have had to wait so long for the pleasure of knowing you, Mr
Reardon. If John were not so selfish he would have allowed us a
share in your acquaintance long ago.'
Ten weeks thereafter, Miss Yule became Mrs Reardon.
It was a time of frantic exultation with the poor fellow. He had
always regarded the winning of a beautiful and intellectual wife
as the crown of a successful literary career, but he had not
dared to hope that such a triumph would be his. Life had been too
hard with him on the whole. He, who hungered for sympathy, who
thought of a woman's love as the prize of mortals supremely
blessed, had spent the fresh years of his youth in monkish
solitude. Now of a sudden came friends and flattery, ay, and love
itself. He was rapt to the seventh heaven.
Indeed, it seemed that the girl loved him. She knew that he had
but a hundred pounds or so left over from that little
inheritance, that his books sold for a trifle, that he had no
wealthy relatives from whom he could expect anything; yet she
hesitated not a moment when he asked her to marry him.
'I have loved you from the first.'
'How is that possible?' he urged. 'What is there lovable in me? I
am afraid of waking up and finding myself in my old garret, cold
and hungry.'
'You will be a great man.'
'I implore you not to count on that! In many ways I am wretchedly
weak. I have no such confidence in myself.'
'Then I will have confidence for both.'
'But can you love me for my own sake--love me as a man?'
'I love you!'
And the words sang about him, filled the air with a mad pulsing
of intolerable joy, made him desire to fling himself in
passionate humility at her feet, to weep hot tears, to cry to her
in insane worship. He thought her beautiful beyond anything his
heart had imagined; her warm gold hair was the rapture of his
eyes and of his reverent hand. Though slenderly fashioned, she
was so gloriously strong. 'Not a day of illness in her life,'
said Mrs Yule, and one could readily believe it.
She spoke with such a sweet decision. Her 'I love you!' was a
bond with eternity. In the simplest as in the greatest things she
saw his wish and acted frankly upon it. No pretty petulance, no
affectation of silly-sweet languishing, none of the weaknesses of
woman. And so exquisitely fresh in her twenty years of
maidenhood, with bright young eyes that seemed to bid defiance to
all the years to come.
He went about like one dazzled with excessive light. He talked as
he had never talked before, recklessly, exultantly, insolently--
in the nobler sense. He made friends on every hand; he welcomed
all the world to his bosom; he felt the benevolence of a god.
'I love you!' It breathed like music at his ears when he fell
asleep in weariness of joy; it awakened him on the morrow as with
a glorious ringing summons to renewed life.
Delay? Why should there be delay? Amy wished nothing but to
become his wife. Idle to think of his doing any more work until
he sat down in the home of which she was mistress. His brain
burned with visions of the books he would henceforth write, but
his hand was incapable of anything but a love-letter. And what
letters! Reardon never published anything equal to those. 'I have
received your poem,' Amy replied to one of them. And she was
right; not a letter, but a poem he had sent her, with every word
on fire.
The hours of talk! It enraptured him to find how much she had
read, and with what clearness of understanding. Latin and Greek,
no. Ah! but she should learn them both, that there might be
nothing wanting in the communion between his thought and hers.
For he loved the old writers with all his heart; they had been
such strength to him in his days of misery.
They would go together to the charmed lands of the South. No, not
now for their marriage holiday--Amy said that would be an
imprudent expense; but as soon as he had got a good price for a
book. Will not the publishers be kind? If they knew what
happiness lurked in embryo within their foolish cheque-books!
He woke of a sudden in the early hours of one morning, a week
before the wedding-day. You know that kind of awaking, so
complete in an instant, caused by the pressure of some
troublesome thought upon the dreaming brain. 'Suppose I should
not succeed henceforth? Suppose I could never get more than this
poor hundred pounds for one of the long books which cost me so
much labour? I shall perhaps have children to support; and Amy--
how would Amy bear poverty?'
He knew what poverty means. The chilling of brain and heart, the
unnerving of the hands, the slow gathering about one of fear and
shame and impotent wrath, the dread feeling of helplessness, of
the world's base indifference. Poverty! Poverty!
And for hours he could not sleep. His eyes kept filling with
tears, the beating of his heart was low; and in his solitude he
called upon Amy with pitiful entreaty: 'Do not forsake me! I love
you! I love you!'
But that went by. Six days, five days, four days--will one's
heart burst with happiness? The flat is taken, is furnished, up
there towards the sky, eight flights of stone steps.
'You're a confoundedly lucky fellow, Reardon,' remarked Milvain,
who had already become very intimate with his new friend. 'A good
fellow, too, and you deserve it.'
'But at first I had a horrible suspicion.'
'I guess what you mean. No; I wasn't even in love with her,
though I admired her. She would never have cared for me in any
case; I am not sentimental enough.'
'The deuce!'
'I mean it in an inoffensive sense. She and I are rather too much
alike, I fancy.'
'How do you mean?' asked Reardon, puzzled, and not very well
pleased.
'There's a great deal of pure intellect about Miss Yule, you
know. She was sure to choose a man of the passionate kind.'
'I think you are talking nonsense, my dear fellow.'
'Well, perhaps I am. To tell you the truth, I have by no means
completed my study of women yet. It is one of the things in which
I hope to be a specialist some day, though I don't think I shall
ever make use of it in novels--rather, perhaps, in life.'
Three days--two days--one day.
Now let every joyous sound which the great globe can utter ring
forth in one burst of harmony! Is it not well done to make the
village-bells chant merrily when a marriage is over? Here in
London we can have no such music; but for us, my dear one, all
the roaring life of the great city is wedding-hymn. Sweet, pure
face under its bridal-veil! The face which shall, if fate spare
it, be as dear to me many a long year hence as now at the
culminating moment of my life!
As he trudged on in the dark, his tortured memory was living
through that time again. The images forced themselves upon him,
however much he tried to think of quite other things--of some
fictitious story on which he might set to work. In the case of
his earlier books he had waited quietly until some suggestive
'situation,' some group of congenial characters, came with sudden
delightfulness before his mind and urged him to write; but
nothing so spontaneous could now be hoped for. His brain was too
weary with months of fruitless, harassing endeavour; moreover, he
was trying to devise a 'plot,' the kind of literary
Jack-in-the-box which might excite interest in the mass of
readers, and this was alien to the natural working of his
imagination. He suffered the torments of nightmare--an oppression
of the brain and heart which must soon be intolerable.
When her husband had set forth, Amy seated herself in the study
and took up a new library volume as if to read. But she had no
real intention of doing so; it was always disagreeable to her to
sit in the manner of one totally unoccupied, with hands on lap,
and even when she consciously gave herself up to musing an open
book was generally before her. She did not, in truth, read much
nowadays; since the birth of her child she had seemed to care
less than before for disinterested study. If a new novel that had
succeeded came into her hands she perused it in a very practical
spirit, commenting to Reardon on the features of the work which
had made it popular; formerly, she would have thought much more
of its purely literary merits, for which her eye was very keen.
How often she had given her husband a thrill of exquisite
pleasure by pointing to some merit or defect of which the common
reader would be totally insensible! Now she spoke less frequently
on such subjects. Her interests were becoming more personal; she
liked to hear details of the success of popular authors--about
their wives or husbands, as the case might be, their arrangements
with publishers, their methods of work. The gossip columns of
literary papers--and of some that were not literary--had an
attraction for her. She talked of questions such as international
copyright, was anxious to get an insight into the practical
conduct of journals and magazines, liked to know who 'read' for
the publishing-houses. To an impartial observer it might have
appeared that her intellect was growing more active and mature.
More than half an hour passed. It was not a pleasant train of
thought that now occupied her. Her lips were drawn together, her
brows were slightly wrinkled; the self-control which at other
times was agreeably expressed upon her features had become rather
too cold and decided. At one moment it seemed to her that she
heard a sound in the bedroom--the doors were purposely left ajar-
-and her head turned quickly to listen, the look in her eyes
instantaneously softening; but all remained quiet. The street
would have been silent but for a cab that now and then passed--
the swing of a hansom or the roll of a four-wheeler--and within
the buildings nothing whatever was audible.
Yes, a footstep, briskly mounting the stone stairs. Not like that
of the postman. A visitor, perhaps, to the other flat on the
topmost landing. But the final pause was in this direction, and
then came a sharp rat-tat at the door. Amy rose immediately and
went to open.
Jasper Milvain raised his urban silk hat, then held out his hand
with the greeting of frank friendship. His inquiries were in so
loud a voice that Amy checked him with a forbidding gesture.
'You'll wake Willie!'
'By Jove! I always forget,' he exclaimed in subdued tones. 'Does
the infant flourish?'
'Oh, yes!'
'Reardon out? I got back on Saturday evening, but couldn't come
round before this.' It was Monday. 'How close it is in here! I
suppose the roof gets so heated during the day. Glorious weather
in the country! And I've no end of things to tell you. He won't
be long, I suppose?'
'I think not.'
He left his hat and stick in the passage, came into the study,
and glanced about as if he expected to see some change since he
was last here, three weeks ago.
'So you have been enjoying yourself?' said Amy as, after
listening for a moment at the door, she took a seat.
'Oh, a little freshening of the faculties. But whose acquaintance
do you think I have made?'
'Down there?'
'Yes. Your uncle Alfred and his daughter were staying at John
Yule's, and I saw something of them. I was invited to the house.'
'Did you speak of us?'
'To Miss Yule only. I happened to meet her on a walk, and in a
blundering way I mentioned Reardon's name. But of course it
didn't matter in the least. She inquired about you with a good
deal of interest--asked if you were as beautiful as you promised
to be years ago.'
Amy laughed.
'Doesn't that proceed from your fertile invention, Mr Milvain?'
'Not a bit of it! By-the-bye, what would be your natural question
concerning her? Do you think she gave promise of good looks?'
'I'm afraid I can't say that she did. She had a good face, but--
rather plain.'
'I see.' Jasper threw back his head and seemed to contemplate an
object in memory. 'Well, I shouldn't wonder if most people called
her a trifle plain even now; and yet--no, that's hardly possible,
after all. She has no colour. Wears her hair short.'
'Short?'
'Oh, I don't mean the smooth, boyish hair with a parting--not the
kind of hair that would be lank if it grew long. Curly all over.
Looks uncommonly well, I assure you. She has a capital head. Odd
girl; very odd girl! Quiet, thoughtful--not very happy, I'm
afraid. Seems to think with dread of a return to books.'
'Indeed! But I had understood that she was a reader.'
'Reading enough for six people, probably. Perhaps her health is
not very robust. Oh, I knew her by sight quite well--had seen her
at the Reading-room. She's the kind of girl that gets into one's
head, you know--suggestive; much more in her than comes out until
one knows her very well.'
'Well, I should hope so,' remarked Amy, with a peculiar smile.
'But that's by no means a matter of course. They didn't invite me
to come and see them in London.'
'I suppose Marian mentioned your acquaintance with this branch of
the family?'
'I think not. At all events, she promised me she wouldn't.'
Amy looked at him inquiringly, in a puzzled way.
'She promised you?'
'Voluntarily. We got rather sympathetic. Your uncle--Alfred, I
mean--is a remarkable man; but I think he regarded me as a youth
of no particular importance. Well, how do things go?'
Amy shook her head.
'No progress?'
'None whatever. He can't work; I begin to be afraid that he is
really ill. He must go away before the fine weather is over. Do
persuade him to-night! I wish you could have had a holiday with
him.'
'Out of the question now, I'm sorry to say. I must work savagely.
But can't you all manage a fortnight somewhere--Hastings,
Eastbourne?'
'It would be simply rash. One goes on saying, "What does a pound
or two matter?"--but it begins at length to matter a great deal.'
'I know, confound it all! Think how it would amuse some rich
grocer's son who pitches his half-sovereign to the waiter when he
has dined himself into good humour! But I tell you what it is:
you must really try to influence him towards practicality. Don't
you think--?'
He paused, and Amy sat looking at her hands.
'I have made an attempt,' she said at length, in a distant
undertone.
'You really have?'
Jasper leaned forward, his clasped hands hanging between his
knees. He was scrutinising her face, and Amy, conscious of the
too fixed regard, at length moved her head uneasily.
'It seems very clear to me,' she said, 'that a long book is out
of the question for him at present. He writes so slowly, and is
so fastidious. It would be a fatal thing to hurry through
something weaker even than the last.'
'You think "The Optimist" weak?' Jasper asked, half absently.
'I don't think it worthy of Edwin; I don't see how anyone can.
'I have wondered what your opinion was. Yes, he ought to try a
new tack, I think.'
Just then there came the sound of a latch-key opening the outer
door. Jasper lay back in his chair and waited with a smile for
his expected friend's appearance; Amy made no movement.
'Oh, there you are!' said Reardon, presenting himself with the
dazzled eyes of one who has been in darkness; he spoke in a voice
of genial welcome, though it still had the note of depression.
'When did you get back?'
Milvain began to recount what he had told in the first part of
his conversation with Amy. As he did so, the latter withdrew, and
was absent for five minutes; on reappearing she said:
'You'll have some supper with us, Mr Milvain?'
'I think I will, please.'
Shortly after, all repaired to the eating-room, where
conversation had to be carried on in a low tone because of the
proximity of the bedchamber in which lay the sleeping child.
Jasper began to tell of certain things that had happened to him
since his arrival in town.
'It was a curious coincidence--but, by-the-bye, have you heard of
what The Study has been doing?'
'I should rather think so,' replied Reardon, his face lighting
up. 'With no small satisfaction.'
'Delicious, isn't it?' exclaimed his wife. 'I thought it too good
to be true when Edwin heard of it from Mr Biffen.'
All three laughed in subdued chorus. For the moment, Reardon
became a new man in his exultation over the contradictory
reviewers.
'Oh, Biffen told you, did he? Well,' continued Jasper, 'it was an
odd thing, but when I reached my lodgings on Saturday evening
there lay a note from Horace Barlow, inviting me to go and see
him on Sunday afternoon out at Wimbledon, the special reason
being that the editor of The Study would be there, and Barlow
thought I might like to meet him. Now this letter gave me a fit
of laughter; not only because of those precious reviews, but
because Alfred Yule had been telling me all about this same
editor, who rejoices in the name of Fadge. Your uncle, Mrs
Reardon, declares that Fadge is the most malicious man in the
literary profession; though that's saying such a very great deal
--well, never mind! Of course I was delighted to go and meet
Fadge. At Barlow's I found the queerest collection of people,
most of them women of the inkiest description. The great Fadge
himself surprised me; I expected to see a gaunt, bilious man, and
he was the rosiest and dumpiest little dandy you can imagine; a
fellow of forty-five, I dare say, with thin yellow hair and blue
eyes and a manner of extreme innocence. Fadge flattered me with
confidential chat, and I discovered at length why Barlow had
asked me to meet him; it's Fadge that is going to edit
Culpepper's new monthly--you've heard about it?--and he had
actually thought it worth while to enlist me among contributors!
Now, how's that for a piece of news?'
The speaker looked from Reardon to Amy with a smile of vast
significance.
'I rejoice to hear it!' said Reardon, fervently.
'You see! you see!' cried Jasper, forgetting all about the infant
in the next room, 'all things come to the man who knows how to
wait. But I'm hanged if I expected a thing of this kind to come
so soon! Why, I'm a man of distinction! My doings have been
noted; the admirable qualities of my style have drawn attention;
I'm looked upon as one of the coming men! Thanks, I confess, in
some measure, to old Barlow; he seems to have amused himself with
cracking me up to all and sundry. That last thing of mine in The
West End has done me a vast amount of good, it seems. And Alfred
Yule himself had noticed that paper in The Wayside. That's how
things work, you know; reputation comes with a burst, just when
you're not looking for anything of the kind.'
'What's the new magazine to be called?' asked Amy.
'Why, they propose The Current. Not bad, in a way; though you
imagine a fellow saying "Have you seen the current Current?" At
all events, the tone is to be up to date, and the articles are to
be short; no padding, merum sal from cover to cover. What do you
think I have undertaken to do, for a start? A paper consisting of
sketches of typical readers of each of the principal daily and
weekly papers. A deuced good idea, you know--my own, of course --
but deucedly hard to carry out. I shall rise to the occasion, see
if I don't. I'll rival Fadge himself in maliciousness--though I
must confess I discovered no particular malice in the fellow's
way of talking. The article shall make a sensation. I'll spend a
whole month on it, and make it a perfect piece of satire.'
'Now that's the kind of thing that inspires me with awe and
envy,' said Reardon. 'I could no more write such a paper than an
article on Fluxions.'
''Tis my vocation, Hal! You might think I hadn't experience
enough, to begin with. But my intuition is so strong that I can
make a little experience go an immense way. Most people would
imagine I had been wasting my time these last few years, just
sauntering about, reading nothing but periodicals, making
acquaintance with loafers of every description. The truth is, I
have been collecting ideas, and ideas that are convertible into
coin of the realm, my boy; I have the special faculty of an
extempore writer. Never in my life shall I do anything of solid
literary value; I shall always despise the people I write for.
But my path will be that of success. I have always said it, and
now I'm sure of it.'
'Does Fadge retire from The Study, then?' inquired Reardon, when
he had received this tirade with a friendly laugh.
'Yes, he does. Was going to, it seems, in any case. Of course I
heard nothing about the two reviews, and I was almost afraid to
smile whilst Fadge was talking with me, lest I should betray my
thought. Did you know anything about the fellow before?'
'Not I. Didn't know who edited The Study.'
'Nor I either. Remarkable what a number of illustrious obscure
are going about. But I have still something else to tell you. I'm
going to set my sisters afloat in literature.'
'How!'
'Well, I don't see why they shouldn't try their hands at a little
writing, instead of giving lessons, which doesn't suit them a
bit. Last night, when I got back from Wimbledon, I went to look
up Davies. Perhaps you don't remember my mentioning him; a fellow
who was at Jolly and Monk's, the publishers, up to a year ago. He
edits a trade journal now, and I see very little of him. However,
I found him at home, and had a long practical talk with him. I
wanted to find out the state of the market as to such wares as
Jolly and Monk dispose of. He gave me some very useful hints, and
the result was that I went off this morning and saw Monk himself
--no Jolly exists at present. "Mr Monk," I began, in my blandest
tone--you know it--"I am requested to call upon you by a lady who
thinks of preparing a little volume to be called 'A Child's
History of the English Parliament.' Her idea is, that"--and so
on. Well, I got on admirably with Monk, especially when he learnt
that I was to be connected with Culpepper's new venture; he
smiled upon the project, and said he should be very glad to see a
specimen chapter; if that pleased him, we could then discuss
terms.'
'But has one of your sisters really begun such a book?' inquired
Amy.
'Neither of them knows anything of the matter, but they are
certainly capable of doing the kind of thing I have in mind,
which will consist largely of anecdotes of prominent statesmen. I
myself shall write the specimen chapter, and send it to the girls
to show them what I propose. I shouldn't wonder if they make some
fifty pounds out of it. The few books that will be necessary they
can either get at a Wattleborough library, or I can send them.'
'Your energy is remarkable, all of a sudden,' said Reardon.
'Yes. The hour has come, I find. "There is a tide"--to quote
something that has the charm of freshness.'
The supper--which consisted of bread and butter, cheese,
sardines, cocoa--was now over, and Jasper, still enlarging on his
recent experiences and future prospects, led the way back to the
sitting-room. Not very long after this, Amy left the two friends
to their pipes; she was anxious that her husband should discuss
his affairs privately with Milvain, and give ear to the practical
advice which she knew would be tendered him.
'I hear that you are still stuck fast,' began Jasper, when they
had smoked awhile in silence.
'Yes.'
'Getting rather serious, I should fear, isn't it?'
'Yes,' repeated Reardon, in a low voice.
'Come, come, old man, you can't go on in this way. Would it, or
wouldn't it, be any use if you took a seaside holiday?'
'Not the least. I am incapable of holiday, if the opportunity
were offered. Do something I must, or I shall fret myself into
imbecility.'
'Very well. What is it to be?'
'I shall try to manufacture two volumes. They needn't run to more
than about two hundred and seventy pages, and those well spaced
out.'
'This is refreshing. This is practical. But look now: let it be
something rather sensational. Couldn't we invent a good title--
something to catch eye and ear? The title would suggest the
story, you know.'
Reardon laughed contemptuously, but the scorn was directed rather
against himself than Milvain.
'Let's try,' he muttered.
Both appeared to exercise their minds on the problem for a few
minutes. Then Jasper slapped his knee.
'How would this do: "The Weird Sisters"? Devilish good, eh?
Suggests all sorts of things, both to the vulgar and the
educated. Nothing brutally clap-trap about it, you know.'
'But--what does it suggest to you?'
'Oh, witch-like, mysterious girls or women. Think it over.'
There was another long silence. Reardon's face was that of a man
in blank misery.
'I have been trying,' he said at length, after an attempt to
speak which was checked by a huskiness in his throat, 'to explain
to myself how this state of things has come about. I almost think
I can do so.'
'How?'
'That half-year abroad, and the extraordinary shock of happiness
which followed at once upon it, have disturbed the balance of my
nature. It was adjusted to circumstances of hardship, privation,
struggle. A temperament like mine can't pass through such a
violent change of conditions without being greatly affected; I
have never since been the man I was before I left England. The
stage I had then reached was the result of a slow and elaborate
building up; I could look back and see the processes by which I
had grown from the boy who was a mere bookworm to the man who had
all but succeeded as a novelist. It was a perfectly natural,
sober development. But in the last two years and a half I can
distinguish no order. In living through it, I have imagined from
time to time that my powers were coming to their ripest; but that
was mere delusion. Intellectually, I have fallen back. The
probability is that this wouldn't matter, if only I could live on
in peace of mind; I should recover my equilibrium, and perhaps
once more understand myself. But the due course of things is
troubled by my poverty.'
He spoke in a slow, meditative way, in a monotonous voice, and
without raising his eyes from the ground.
'I can understand,' put in Jasper, 'that there may be
philosophical truth in all this. All the same, it's a great pity
that you should occupy your mind with such thoughts.'
'A pity--no! I must remain a reasoning creature. Disaster may end
by driving me out of my wits, but till then I won't abandon my
heritage of thought.'
'Let us have it out, then. You think it was a mistake to spend
those months abroad?'
'A mistake from the practical point of view. That vast broadening
of my horizon lost me the command of my literary resources. I
lived in Italy and Greece as a student, concerned especially with
the old civilisations; I read little but Greek and Latin. That
brought me out of the track I had laboriously made for myself I
often thought with disgust of the kind of work I had been doing;
my novels seemed vapid stuff so wretchedly and shallowly modern.
If I had had the means, I should have devoted myself to the life
of a scholar. That, I quite believe, is my natural life; it's
only the influence of recent circumstances that has made me a
writer of novels. A man who can't journalise, yet must earn his
bread by literature, nowadays inevitably turns to fiction, as the
Elizabethan men turned to the drama. Well, but I should have got
back, I think, into the old line of work. It was my marriage that
completed what the time abroad had begun.'
He looked up suddenly, and added:
'I am speaking as if to myself. You, of course, don't
misunderstand me, and think I am accusing my wife.'
'No, I don't take you to mean that, by any means.'
'No, no; of course not. All that's wrong is my accursed want of
money. But that threatens to be such a fearful wrong, that I
begin to wish I had died before my marriage-day. Then Amy would
have been saved. The Philistines are right: a man has no business
to marry unless he has a secured income equal to all natural
demands. I behaved with the grossest selfishness. I might have
known that such happiness was never meant for me.'
'Do you mean by all this that you seriously doubt whether you
will ever be able to write again?'
'In awful seriousness, I doubt it,' replied Reardon, with haggard
face.
'It strikes me as extraordinary. In your position I should work
as I never had done before.'
'Because you are the kind of man who is roused by necessity. I am
overcome by it. My nature is feeble and luxurious. I never in my
life encountered and overcame a practical difficulty.'
'Yes; when you got the work at the hospital.'
'All I did was to write a letter, and chance made it effective.'
'My view of the case, Reardon, is that you are simply ill.'
'Certainly I am; but the ailment is desperately complicated. Tell
me: do you think I might possibly get any kind of stated work to
do? Should I be fit for any place in a newspaper office, for
instance?'
'I fear not. You are the last man to have anything to do with
journalism.'
'If I appealed to my publishers, could they help me?'
'I don't see how. They would simply say: Write a book and we'll
buy it.'
'Yes, there's no help but that.'
'If only you were able to write short stories, Fadge might be
useful.'
'But what's the use? I suppose I might get ten guineas, at most,
for such a story. I need a couple of hundred pounds at least.
Even if I could finish a three-volume book, I doubt if they would
give me a hundred again, after the failure of "The Optimist"; no,
they wouldn't.'
'But to sit and look forward in this way is absolutely fatal, my
dear fellow. Get to work at your two-volume story. Call it "The
Weird Sisters," or anything better that you can devise; but get
it done, so many pages a day. If I go ahead as I begin to think I
shall, I shall soon be able to assure you good notices in a lot
of papers. Your misfortune has been that you had no influential
friends. By-the-bye, how has The Study been in the habit of
treating you?'
'Scrubbily.'
'I'll make an opportunity of talking about your books to Fadge. I
think Fadge and I shall get on pretty well together. Alfred Yule
hates the man fiercely, for some reason or other. By the way, I
may as well tell you that I broke short off with the Yules on
purpose.'
'Oh?'
'I had begun to think far too much about the girl. Wouldn't do,
you know. I must marry someone with money, and a good deal of it.
That's a settled point with me.'
'Then you are not at all likely to meet them in London?'
'Not at all. And if I get allied with Fadge, no doubt Yule will
involve me in his savage feeling. You see how wisely I acted. I
have a scent for the prudent course.'
They talked for a long time, but again chiefly of Milvain's
affairs. Reardon, indeed, cared little to say anything more about
his own. Talk was mere vanity and vexation of spirit, for the
spring of his volition seemed to be broken, and, whatever resolve
he might utter, he knew that everything depended on influences he
could not even foresee.
Three weeks after her return from the country--which took place a
week later than that of Jasper Milvain--Marian Yule was working
one afternoon at her usual place in the Museum Reading-room. It
was three o'clock, and with the interval of half an hour at
midday, when she went away for a cup of tea and a sandwich, she
had been closely occupied since half-past nine. Her task at
present was to collect materials for a paper on 'French
Authoresses of the Seventeenth Century,' the kind of thing which
her father supplied on stipulated terms for anonymous
publication. Marian was by this time almost able to complete such
a piece of manufacture herself and her father's share in it was
limited to a few hints and corrections. The greater part of the
work by which Yule earned his moderate income was anonymous:
volumes and articles which bore his signature dealt with much the
same subjects as his unsigned matter, but the writing was
laboured with a conscientiousness unusual in men of his position.
The result, unhappily, was not correspondent with the efforts.
Alfred Yule had made a recognisable name among the critical
writers of the day; seeing him in the title-lists of a
periodical, most people knew what to expect, but not a few
forbore the cutting open of the pages he occupied. He was
learned, copious, occasionally mordant in style; but grace had
been denied to him. He had of late begun to perceive the fact
that those passages of Marian's writing which were printed just
as they came from her pen had merit of a kind quite distinct from
anything of which he himself was capable, and it began to be a
question with him whether it would not be advantageous to let the
girl sign these compositions. A matter of business, to be sure--
at all events in the first instance.
For a long time Marian had scarcely looked up from the desk, but
at this moment she found it necessary to refer to the invaluable
Larousse. As so often happened, the particular volume of which
she had need was not upon the shelf she turned away, and looked
about her with a gaze of weary disappointment. At a little
distance were standing two young men, engaged, as their faces
showed, in facetious colloquy; as soon as she observed them,
Marian's eyes fell, but the next moment she looked again in that
direction. Her face had wholly changed; she wore a look of timid
expectancy.
The men were moving towards her, still talking and laughing. She
turned to the shelves, and affected to search for a book. The
voices drew near, and one of them was well known to her; now she
could hear every word; now the speakers were gone by. Was it
possible that Mr Milvain had not recognised her? She followed him
with her eyes, and saw him take a seat not far off he must have
passed without even being aware of her.
She went back to her place and for some minutes sat trifling with
a pen. When she made a show of resuming work, it was evident that
she could no longer apply herself as before. Every now and then
she glanced at people who were passing; there were intervals when
she wholly lost herself in reverie. She was tired, and had even a
slight headache. When the hand of the clock pointed to half-past
three, she closed the volume from which she had been copying
extracts, and began to collect her papers.
A voice spoke close behind her.
'Where's your father, Miss Yule?'
The speaker was a man of sixty, short, stout, tonsured by the
hand of time. He had a broad, flabby face, the colour of an
ancient turnip, save where one of the cheeks was marked with a
mulberry stain; his eyes, grey-orbed in a yellow setting, glared
with good-humoured inquisitiveness, and his mouth was that of the
confirmed gossip. For eyebrows he had two little patches of
reddish stubble; for moustache, what looked like a bit of
discoloured tow, and scraps of similar material hanging beneath
his creasy chin represented a beard. His garb must have seen a
great deal of Museum service; it consisted of a jacket, something
between brown and blue, hanging in capacious shapelessness, a
waistcoat half open for lack of buttons and with one of the
pockets coming unsewn, a pair of bronze-hued trousers which had
all run to knee. Necktie he had none, and his linen made distinct
appeal to the laundress.
Marian shook hands with him.
'He went away at half-past two,' was her reply to his question.
'How annoying! I wanted particularly to see him. I have been
running about all day, and couldn't get here before. Something
important--most important. At all events, I can tell you. But I
entreat that you won't breathe a word save to your father.'
Mr Quarmby--that was his name--had taken a vacant chair and drawn
it close to Marian's. He was in a state of joyous excitement, and
talked in thick, rather pompous tones, with a pant at the end of
a sentence. To emphasise the extremely confidential nature of his
remarks, he brought his head almost in contact with the girl's,
and one of her thin, delicate hands was covered with his red,
podgy fingers.
'I've had a talk with Nathaniel Walker,' he continued; 'a long
talk--a talk of vast importance. You know Walker? No, no; how
should you? He's a man of business; close friend of Rackett's--
Rackett, you know, the owner of The Study.'
Upon this he made a grave pause, and glared more excitedly than
ever.
'I have heard of Mr Rackett,' said Marian.
'Of course, of course. And you must also have heard that Fadge
leaves The Study at the end of this year, eh?'
'Father told me it was probable.'
'Rackett and he have done nothing but quarrel for months; the
paper is falling off seriously. Well, now, when I came across Nat
Walker this afternoon, the first thing he said to me was, "You
know Alfred Yule pretty well, I think?" "Pretty well," I
answered; "why?" "I'll tell you," he said, "but it's between you
and me, you understand. Rackett is thinking about him in
connection with The Study." "I'm delighted to hear it." "To tell
you the truth," went on Nat, "I shouldn't wonder if Yule gets the
editorship; but you understand that it would be altogether
premature to talk about it." Now what do you think of this, eh?'
'It's very good news,' answered Marian.
'I should think so! Ho, ho!'
Mr Quarmby laughed in a peculiar way, which was the result of
long years of mirth-subdual in the Reading-room.
'But not a breath to anyone but your father. He'll be here to-
morrow? Break it gently to him, you know; he's an excitable man;
can't take things quietly, like I do. Ho, ho!'
His suppressed laugh ended in a fit of coughing--the Reading-room
cough. When he had recovered from it, he pressed Marian's hand
with paternal fervour, and waddled off to chatter with someone
else.
Marian replaced several books on the reference-shelves, returned
others to the central desk, and was just leaving the room, when
again a voice made demand upon her attention.
'Miss Yule! One moment, if you please!'
It was a tall, meagre, dry-featured man, dressed with the painful
neatness of self-respecting poverty: the edges of his coat-
sleeves were carefully darned; his black necktie and a skull-cap
which covered his baldness were evidently of home manufacture. He
smiled softly and timidly with blue, rheumy eyes. Two or three
recent cuts on his chin and neck were the result of conscientious
shaving with an unsteady hand.
'I have been looking for your father,' he said, as Marian turned.
'Isn't he here?'
'He has gone, Mr Hinks.'
'Ah, then would you do me the kindness to take a book for him? In
fact, it's my little "Essay on the Historical Drama," just out.'
He spoke with nervous hesitation, and in a tone which seemed to
make apology for his existence.
'Oh, father will be very glad to have it.'
'If you will kindly wait one minute, Miss Yule. It's at my place
over there.'
He went off with long strides, and speedily came back panting, in
his hand a thin new volume.
'My kind regards to him, Miss Yule. You are quite well, I hope? I
won't detain you.'
And he backed into a man who was coming inobservantly this way.
Marian went to the ladies' cloak-room, put on her hat and jacket,
and left the Museum. Some one passed out through the swing-door a
moment before her, and as soon as she had issued beneath the
portico, she saw that it was Jasper Milvain; she must have
followed him through the hall, but her eyes had been cast down.
The young man was now alone; as he descended the steps he looked
to left and right, but not behind him. Marian followed at a
distance of two or three yards. Nearing the gateway, she
quickened her pace a little, so as to pass out into the street
almost at the same moment as Milvain. But he did not turn his
head.
He took to the right. Marian had fallen back again, but she still
followed at a very little distance. His walk was slow, and she
might easily have passed him in quite a natural way; in that case
he could not help seeing her. But there was an uneasy suspicion
in her mind that he really must have noticed her in the
Reading-room. This was the first time she had seen him since
their parting at Finden. Had he any reason for avoiding her? Did
he take it ill that her father had shown no desire to keep up his
acquaintance?
She allowed the interval between them to become greater. In a
minute or two Milvain turned up Charlotte Street, and so she lost
sight of him.
In Tottenham Court Road she waited for an omnibus that would take
her to the remoter part of Camden Town; obtaining a corner seat,
she drew as far back as possible, and paid no attention to her
fellow-passengers. At a point in Camden Road she at length
alighted, and after ten minutes' walk reached her destination in
a quiet by-way called St Paul's Crescent, consisting of small,
decent houses. That at which she paused had an exterior promising
comfort within; the windows were clean and neatly curtained, and
the polishable appurtenances of the door gleamed to perfection.
She admitted herself with a latch-key, and went straight upstairs
without encountering anyone.
Descending again in a few moments, she entered the front room on
the ground-floor. This served both as parlour and dining-room; it
was comfortably furnished, without much attempt at adornment. On
the walls were a few autotypes and old engravings. A recess
between fireplace and window was fitted with shelves, which
supported hundreds of volumes, the overflow of Yule's library.
The table was laid for a meal. It best suited the convenience of
the family to dine at five o'clock; a long evening, so necessary
to most literary people, was thus assured. Marian, as always when
she had spent a day at the Museum, was faint with weariness and
hunger; she cut a small piece of bread from a loaf on the table,
and sat down in an easy chair.
Presently appeared a short, slight woman of middle age, plainly
dressed in serviceable grey. Her face could never have been very
comely, and it expressed but moderate intelligence; its lines,
however, were those of gentleness and good feeling. She had the
look of one who is making a painful effort to understand
something; this was fixed upon her features, and probably
resulted from the peculiar conditions of her life.
'Rather early, aren't you, Marian?' she said, as she closed the
door and came forward to take a seat.
'Yes; I have a little headache.'
'Oh, dear! Is that beginning again?'
Mrs Yule's speech was seldom ungrammatical, and her intonation
was not flagrantly vulgar, but the accent of the London poor,
which brands as with hereditary baseness, still clung to her
words, rendering futile such propriety of phrase as she owed to
years of association with educated people. In the same degree did
her bearing fall short of that which distinguishes a lady. The
London work-girl is rarely capable of raising herself or being
raised, to a place in life above that to which she was born; she
cannot learn how to stand and sit and move like a woman bred to
refinement, any more than she can fashion her tongue to graceful
speech. Mrs Yule's behaviour to Marian was marked with a singular
diffidence; she looked and spoke affectionately, but not with a
mother's freedom; one might have taken her for a trusted servant
waiting upon her mistress. Whenever opportunity offered, she
watched the girl in a curiously furtive way, that puzzled look on
her face becoming very noticeable. Her consciousness was never
able to accept as a familiar and unimportant fact the vast
difference between herself and her daughter. Marian's superiority
in native powers, in delicacy of feeling, in the results of
education, could never be lost sight of. Under ordinary
circumstances she addressed the girl as if tentatively; however
sure of anything from her own point of view, she knew that
Marian, as often as not, had quite a different criterion. She
understood that the girl frequently expressed an opinion by mere
reticence, and hence the carefulness with which, when conversing,
she tried to discover the real effect of her words in Marian's
features.
'Hungry, too,' she said, seeing the crust Marian was nibbling.
'You really must have more lunch, dear. It isn't right to go so
long; you'll make yourself ill.'
'Have you been out?' Marian asked.
'Yes; I went to Holloway.'
Mrs Yule sighed and looked very unhappy. By 'going to Holloway'
was always meant a visit to her own relatives--a married sister
with three children, and a brother who inhabited the same house.
To her husband she scarcely ever ventured to speak of these
persons; Yule had no intercourse with them. But Marian was always
willing to listen sympathetically, and her mother often exhibited
a touching gratitude for this condescension--as she deemed it.
'Are things no better?' the girl inquired.
'Worse, as far as I can see. John has begun his drinking again,
and him and Tom quarrel every night; there's no peace in the
'ouse.'
If ever Mrs Yule lapsed into gross errors of pronunciation or
phrase, it was when she spoke of her kinsfolk. The subject seemed
to throw her back into a former condition.
'He ought to go and live by himself' said Marian, referring to
her mother's brother, the thirsty John.
'So he ought, to be sure. I'm always telling them so. But there!
you don't seem to be able to persuade them, they're that silly
and obstinate. And Susan, she only gets angry with me, and tells
me not to talk in a stuck-up way. I'm sure I never say a word
that could offend her; I'm too careful for that. And there's
Annie; no doing anything with her! She's about the streets at all
hours, and what'll be the end of it no one can say. They're
getting that ragged, all of them. It isn't Susan's fault; indeed
it isn't. She does all that woman can. But Tom hasn't brought
home ten shillings the last month, and it seems to me as if he
was getting careless. I gave her half-a-crown; it was all I could
do. And the worst of it is, they think I could do so much more if
I liked. They're always hinting that we are rich people, and it's
no good my trying to persuade them. They think I'm telling
falsehoods, and it's very hard to be looked at in that way; it
is, indeed, Marian.'
'You can't help it, mother. I suppose their suffering makes them
unkind and unjust.'
'That's just what it does, my dear; you never said anything
truer. Poverty will make the best people bad, if it gets hard
enough. Why there's so much of it in the world, I'm sure I can't
see.'
'I suppose father will be back soon?'
'He said dinner-time.'
'Mr Quarmby has been telling me something which is wonderfully
good news if it's really true; but I can't help feeling doubtful.
He says that father may perhaps be made editor of The Study at
the end of this year.'
Mrs Yule, of course, understood, in outline, these affairs of the
literary world; she thought of them only from the pecuniary point
of view, but that made no essential distinction between her and
the mass of literary people.
'My word!' she exclaimed. 'What a thing that would be for us!'
Marian had begun to explain her reluctance to base any hopes on
Mr Quarmby's prediction, when the sound of a postman's knock at
the house-door caused her mother to disappear for a moment.
'It's for you,' said Mrs Yule, returning. 'From the country.'
Marian took the letter and examined its address with interest.
'It must be one of the Miss Milvains. Yes; Dora Milvain.'
After Jasper's departure from Finden his sisters had seen Marian
several times, and the mutual liking between her and them had
been confirmed by opportunity of conversation. The promise of
correspondence had hitherto waited for fulfilment. It seemed
natural to Marian that the younger of the two girls should write;
Maud was attractive and agreeable, and probably clever, but Dora
had more spontaneity in friendship.
'It will amuse you to hear,' wrote Dora, 'that the literary
project our brother mentioned in a letter whilst you were still
here is really to come to something. He has sent us a specimen
chapter, written by himself of the "Child's History of
Parliament," and Maud thinks she could carry it on in that style,
if there's no hurry. She and I have both set to work on English
histories, and we shall be authorities before long. Jolly and
Monk offer thirty pounds for the little book, if it suits them
when finished, with certain possible profits in the future. Trust
Jasper for making a bargain! So perhaps our literary career will
be something more than a joke, after all. I hope it may; anything
rather than a life of teaching. We shall be so glad to hear from
you, if you still care to trouble about country girls.'
And so on. Marian read with a pleased smile, then acquainted her
mother with the contents.
'I am very glad,' said Mrs Yule; 'it's so seldom you get a
letter.'
'Yes.'
Marian seemed desirous of saying something more, and her mother
had a thoughtful look, suggestive of sympathetic curiosity.
'Is their brother likely to call here?' Mrs Yule asked, with
misgiving.
'No one has invited him to,' was the girl's quiet reply.
'He wouldn't come without that?'
'It's not likely that he even knows the address.'
'Your father won't be seeing him, I suppose?'
'By chance, perhaps. I don't know.'
It was very rare indeed for these two to touch upon any subject
save those of everyday interest. In spite of the affection
between them, their exchange of confidence did not go very far;
Mrs Yule, who had never exercised maternal authority since
Marian's earliest childhood, claimed no maternal privileges, and
Marian's natural reserve had been strengthened by her mother's
respectful aloofness. The English fault of domestic reticence
could scarcely go further than it did in their case; its
exaggeration is, of course, one of the characteristics of those
unhappy families severed by differences of education between the
old and young.
'I think,' said Marian, in a forced tone, 'that father hasn't
much liking for Mr Milvain.'
She wished to know if her mother had heard any private remarks on
this subject, but she could not bring herself to ask directly.
'I'm sure I don't know,' replied Mrs Yule, smoothing her dress.
'He hasn't said anything to me, Marian.'
An awkward silence. The mother had fixed her eyes on the
mantelpiece, and was thinking hard.
'Otherwise,' said Marian, 'he would have said something, I should
think, about meeting in London.'
'But is there anything in--this gentleman that he wouldn't like?'
'I don't know of anything.'
Impossible to pursue the dialogue; Marian moved uneasily, then
rose, said something about putting the letter away, and left the
room.
Shortly after, Alfred Yule entered the house. It was no uncommon
thing for him to come home in a mood of silent moroseness, and
this evening the first glimpse of his face was sufficient
warning. He entered the dining-room and stood on the hearthrug
reading an evening paper. His wife made a pretence of
straightening things upon the table.
'Well?' he exclaimed irritably. 'It's after five; why isn't
dinner served?'
'It's just coming, Alfred.'
Even the average man of a certain age is an alarming creature
when dinner delays itself; the literary man in such a moment goes
beyond all parallel. If there be added the fact that he has just
returned from a very unsatisfactory interview with a publisher,
wife and daughter may indeed regard the situation as appalling.
Marian came in, and at once observed her mother's frightened
face.
'Father,' she said, hoping to make a diversion, 'Mr Hinks has
sent you his new book, and wishes--'
'Then take Mr Hinks's new book back to him, and tell him that I
have quite enough to do without reading tedious trash. He needn't
expect that I'm going to write a notice of it. The simpleton
pesters me beyond endurance. I wish to know, if you please,' he
added with savage calm, 'when dinner will be ready. If there's
time to write a few letters, just tell me at once, that I mayn't
waste half an hour.'
Marian resented this unreasonable anger, but she durst not reply.
At that moment the servant appeared with a smoking joint, and Mrs
Yule followed carrying dishes of vegetables. The man of letters
seated himself and carved angrily. He began his meal by drinking
half a glass of ale; then he ate a few mouthfuls in a quick,
hungry way, his head bent closely over the plate. It happened
commonly enough that dinner passed without a word of
conversation, and that seemed likely to be the case this evening.
To his wife Yule seldom addressed anything but a curt inquiry or
caustic comment; if he spoke humanly at table it was to Marian.
Ten minutes passed; then Marian resolved to try any means of
clearing the atmosphere.
'Mr Quarmby gave me a message for you,' she said. 'A friend of
his, Nathaniel Walker, has told him that Mr Rackett will very
likely offer you the editorship of The Study.'
Yule stopped in the act of mastication. He fixed his eyes
intently on the sirloin for half a minute; then, by way of the
beer-jug and the salt-cellar, turned them upon Marian's face.
'Walker told him that? Pooh!'
'It was a great secret. I wasn't to breathe a word to any one but
you.'
'Walker's a fool and Quarmby's an ass,' remarked her father.
But there was a tremulousness in his bushy eyebrows; his forehead
half unwreathed itself; he continued to eat more slowly, and as
if with appreciation of the viands.
'What did he say? Repeat it to me in his words.'
Marian did so, as nearly as possible. He listened with a scoffing
expression, but still his features relaxed.
'I don't credit Rackett with enough good sense for such a
proposal,' he said deliberately. 'And I'm not very sure that I
should accept it if it were made. That fellow Fadge has all but
ruined the paper. It will amuse me to see how long it takes him
to make Culpepper's new magazine a distinct failure.'
A silence of five minutes ensued; then Yule said of a sudden.
'Where is Hinks's book?'
Marian reached it from a side table; under this roof, literature
was regarded almost as a necessary part of table garnishing.
'I thought it would be bigger than this,' Yule muttered, as he
opened the volume in a way peculiar to bookish men.
A page was turned down, as if to draw attention to some passage.
Yule put on his eyeglasses, and soon made a discovery which had
the effect of completing the transformation of his visage. His
eyes glinted, his chin worked in pleasurable emotion. In a moment
he handed the book to Marian, indicating the small type of a
foot-note; it embodied an effusive eulogy--introduced a propos of
some literary discussion--of 'Mr Alfred Yule's critical acumen,
scholarly research, lucid style,' and sundry other distinguished
merits.
'That is kind of him,' said Marian.
'Good old Hinks! I suppose I must try to get him half-a-dozen
readers.'
'May I see?' asked Mrs Yule, under her breath, bending to Marian.
Her daughter passed on the volume, and Mrs Yule read the footnote
with that look of slow apprehension which is so pathetic when it
signifies the heart's good-will thwarted by the mind's defect.
'That'll be good for you, Alfred, won't it?' she said, glancing
at her husband.
'Certainly,' he replied, with a smile of contemptuous irony. 'If
Hinks goes on, he'll establish my reputation.'
And he took a draught of ale, like one who is reinvigorated for
the battle of life. Marian, regarding him askance, mused on what
seemed to her a strange anomaly in his character; it had often
surprised her that a man of his temperament and powers should be
so dependent upon the praise and blame of people whom he justly
deemed his inferiors.
Yule was glancing over the pages of the work.
'A pity the man can't write English.' What a vocabulary!
Obstruent--reliable--particularization--fabulosity--different
to--averse to--did one ever come across such a mixture of antique
pedantry and modern vulgarism! Surely he has his name from the
German hinken--eh, Marian?'
With a laugh he tossed the book away again. His mood was wholly
changed. He gave various evidences of enjoying the meal, and
began to talk freely with his daughter.
'Finished the authoresses?'
'Not quite.'
'No hurry. When you have time I want you to read Ditchley's new
book, and jot down a selection of his worst sentences. I'll use
them for an article on contemporary style; it occurred to me this
afternoon.'
He smiled grimly. Mrs Yule's face exhibited much contentment,
which became radiant joy when her husband remarked casually that
the custard was very well made to-day. Dinner over, he rose
without ceremony and went off to his study.
The man had suffered much and toiled stupendously. It was not
inexplicable that dyspepsia, and many another ill that literary
flesh is heir to, racked him sore.
Go back to the days when he was an assistant at a bookseller's in
Holborn. Already ambition devoured him, and the genuine love of
knowledge goaded his brain. He allowed himself but three or four
hours of sleep; he wrought doggedly at languages, ancient and
modern; he tried his hand at metrical translations; he planned
tragedies. Practically he was living in a past age; his literary
ideals were formed on the study of Boswell.
The head assistant in the shop went away to pursue a business
which had come into his hands on the death of a relative; it was
a small publishing concern, housed in an alley off the Strand,
and Mr Polo (a singular name, to become well known in the course
of time) had his ideas about its possible extension. Among other
instances of activity he started a penny weekly paper, called All
Sorts, and in the pages of this periodical Alfred Yule first
appeared as an author. Before long he became sub-editor of All
Sorts, then actual director of the paper. He said good-bye to the
bookseller, and his literary career fairly began.
Mr Polo used to say that he never knew a man who could work so
many consecutive hours as Alfred Yule. A faithful account of all
that the young man learnt and wrote from 1855 to 1860--that is,
from his twenty-fifth to his thirtieth year--would have the look
of burlesque exaggeration. He had set it before him to become a
celebrated man, and he was not unaware that the attainment of
that end would cost him quite exceptional labour, seeing that
nature had not favoured him with brilliant parts. No matter; his
name should be spoken among men unless he killed himself in the
struggle for success.
In the meantime he married. Living in a garret, and supplying
himself with the materials of his scanty meals, he was in the
habit of making purchases at a little chandler's shop, where he
was waited upon by a young girl of no beauty, but, as it seemed
to him, of amiable disposition. One holiday he met this girl as
she was walking with a younger sister in the streets; he made her
nearer acquaintance, and before long she consented to be his wife
and share his garret. His brothers, John and Edmund, cried out
that he had made an unpardonable fool of himself in marrying so
much beneath him; that he might well have waited until his income
improved. This was all very well, but they might just as
reasonably have bidden him reject plain food because a few years
hence he would be able to purchase luxuries; he could not do
without nourishment of some sort, and the time had come when he
could not do without a wife. Many a man with brains but no money
has been compelled to the same step. Educated girls have a
pronounced distaste for London garrets; not one in fifty thousand
would share poverty with the brightest genius ever born. Seeing
that marriage is so often indispensable to that very success
which would enable a man of parts to mate equally, there is
nothing for it but to look below one's own level, and be grateful
to the untaught woman who has pity on one's loneliness.
Unfortunately, Alfred Yule was not so grateful as he might have
been. His marriage proved far from unsuccessful; he might have
found himself united to a vulgar shrew, whereas the girl had the
great virtues of humility and kindliness. She endeavoured to
learn of him, but her dulness and his impatience made this
attempt a failure; her human qualities had to suffice. And they
did, until Yule began to lift his head above the literary mob.
Previously, he often lost his temper with her, but never
expressed or felt repentance of his marriage; now he began to see
only the disadvantages of his position, and, forgetting the facts
of the case, to imagine that he might well have waited for a wife
who could share his intellectual existence. Mrs Yule had to pass
through a few years of much bitterness. Already a martyr to
dyspepsia, and often suffering from bilious headaches of extreme
violence, her husband now and then lost all control of his
temper, all sense of kind feeling, even of decency, and
reproached the poor woman with her ignorance, her stupidity, her
low origin. Naturally enough she defended herself with such
weapons as a sense of cruel injustice supplied. More than once
the two all but parted. It did not come to an actual rupture,
chiefly because Yule could not do without his wife; her tendance
had become indispensable. And then there was the child to
consider.
From the first it was Yule's dread lest Marian should be infected
with her mother's faults of speech and behaviour. He would
scarcely permit his wife to talk to the child. At the earliest
possible moment Marian was sent to a day-school, and in her tenth
year she went as weekly boarder to an establishment at Fulham;
any sacrifice of money to insure her growing up with the tongue
and manners of a lady. It can scarcely have been a light trial to
the mother to know that contact with her was regarded as her
child's greatest danger; but in her humility and her love for
Marian she offered no resistance. And so it came to pass that one
day the little girl, hearing her mother make some flagrant
grammatical error, turned to the other parent and asked gravely:
'Why doesn't mother speak as properly as we do?' Well, that is
one of the results of such marriages, one of the myriad miseries
that result from poverty.
The end was gained at all hazards. Marian grew up everything that
her father desired. Not only had she the bearing of refinement,
but it early became obvious that nature had well endowed her
with brains. From the nursery her talk was of books, and at the
age of twelve she was already able to give her father some
assistance as an amanuensis.
At that time Edmund Yule was still living; he had overcome his
prejudices, and there was intercourse between his household and
that of the literary man. Intimacy it could not be called, for
Mrs Edmund (who was the daughter of a law-stationer) had much
difficulty in behaving to Mrs Alfred with show of suavity. Still,
the cousins Amy and Marian from time to time saw each other, and
were not unsuitable companions. It was the death of Amy's father
that brought these relations to an end; left to the control of
her own affairs Mrs Edmund was not long in giving offence to Mrs
Alfred, and so to Alfred himself. The man of letters might be
inconsiderate enough in his behaviour to his wife, but as soon as
anyone else treated her with disrespect that was quite another
matter. Purely on this account he quarrelled violently with his
brother's widow, and from that day the two families kept apart.
The chapter of quarrels was one of no small importance in
Alfred's life; his difficult temper, and an ever-increasing sense
of neglected merit, frequently put him at war with publishers,
editors, fellow-authors, and he had an unhappy trick of exciting
the hostility of men who were most likely to be useful to him.
With Mr Polo, for instance, who held him in esteem, and whose
commercial success made him a valuable connection, Alfred
ultimately broke on a trifling matter of personal dignity. Later
came the great quarrel with Clement Fadge, an affair of
considerable advantage in the way of advertisement to both the
men concerned. It happened in the year 1873. At that time Yule
was editor of a weekly paper called The Balance, a literary organ
which aimed high, and failed to hit the circulation essential to
its existence. Fadge, a younger man, did reviewing for The
Balance; he was in needy circumstances, and had wrought himself
into Yule's good opinion by judicious flattery. But with a clear
eye for the main chance Mr Fadge soon perceived that Yule could
only be of temporary use to him, and that the editor of a well-
established weekly which lost no opportunity of throwing scorn
upon Yule and all his works would be a much more profitable
conquest. He succeeded in transferring his services to the more
flourishing paper, and struck out a special line of work by the
free exercise of a malicious flippancy which was then without
rival in the periodical press. When he had thoroughly got his
hand in, it fell to Mr Fadge, in the mere way of business, to
review a volume of his old editor's, a rather pretentious and
longwinded but far from worthless essay 'On Imagination as a
National Characteristic.' The notice was a masterpiece; its
exquisite virulence set the literary circles chuckling.
Concerning the authorship there was no mystery, and Alfred Yule
had the indiscretion to make a violent reply, a savage assault
upon Fadge, in the columns of The Balance. Fadge desired nothing
better; the uproar which arose--chaff, fury, grave comments,
sneering spite--could only result in drawing universal attention
to his anonymous cleverness, and throwing ridicule upon the
heavy, conscientious man. Well, you probably remember all about
it. It ended in the disappearance of Yule's struggling paper, and
the establishment on a firm basis of Fadge's reputation.
It would be difficult to mention any department of literary
endeavour in which Yule did not, at one time or another, try his
fortune. Turn to his name in the Museum Catalogue; the list of
works appended to it will amuse you. In his thirtieth year he
published a novel; it failed completely, and the same result
awaited a similar experiment five years later. He wrote a drama
of modern life, and for some years strove to get it acted, but in
vain; finally it appeared 'for the closet'--giving Clement Fadge
such an opportunity as he seldom enjoyed. The one noteworthy
thing about these productions, and about others of equally
mistaken direction, was the sincerity of their workmanship. Had
Yule been content to manufacture a novel or a play with due
disregard for literary honour, he might perchance have made a
mercantile success; but the poor fellow had not pliancy enough
for this. He took his efforts au grand serieux; thought he was
producing works of art; pursued his ambition in a spirit of
fierce conscientiousness. In spite of all, he remained only a
journeyman. The kind of work he did best was poorly paid, and
could bring no fame. At the age of fifty he was still living in a
poor house in an obscure quarter. He earned enough for his actual
needs, and was under no pressing fear for the morrow, so long as
his faculties remained unimpaired; but there was no disguising
from himself that his life had been a failure. And the thought
tormented him.
Now there had come unexpectedly a gleam of hope. If indeed, the
man Rackett thought of offering him the editorship of The Study
he might even yet taste the triumphs for which he had so
vehemently longed. The Study was a weekly paper of fair repute.
Fadge had harmed it, no doubt of that, by giving it a tone which
did not suit the majority of its readers--serious people, who
thought that the criticism of contemporary writing offered an
opportunity for something better than a display of malevolent
wit. But a return to the old earnestness would doubtless set all
right again. And the joy of sitting in that dictatorial chair!
The delight of having his own organ once more, of making himself
a power in the world of letters, of emphasising to a large
audience his developed methods of criticism!
An embittered man is a man beset by evil temptations. The Study
contained each week certain columns of flying gossip, and when he
thought of this, Yule also thought of Clement Fadge, and sundry
other of his worst enemies. How the gossip column can be used for
hostile purposes, yet without the least overt offence, he had
learnt only too well. Sometimes the mere omission of a man's name
from a list of authors can mortify and injure. In our day the
manipulation of such paragraphs has become a fine art; but you
recall numerous illustrations. Alfred knew well enough how
incessantly the tempter would be at his ear; he said to himself
that in certain instances yielding would be no dishonour. He
himself had many a time been mercilessly treated; in the very
interest of the public it was good that certain men should suffer
a snubbing, and his fingers itched to have hold of the editorial
pen. Ha, ha! Like the war-horse he snuffed the battle afar off.
No work this evening, though there were tasks which pressed for
completion. His study--the only room on the ground level except
the dining-room--was small, and even a good deal of the floor was
encumbered with books, but he found space for walking nervously
hither and thither. He was doing this when, about half-past nine,
his wife appeared at the door, bringing him a cup of coffee and
some biscuits, his wonted supper. Marian generally waited upon
him at this time, and he asked why she had not come.
'She has one of her headaches again, I'm sorry to say,' Mrs Yule
replied. 'I persuaded her to go to bed early.'
Having placed the tray upon the table--books had to be pushed
aside--she did not seem disposed to withdraw.
'Are you busy, Alfred?'
'Why?'
'I thought I should like just to speak of something.'
She was using the opportunity of his good humour. Yule spoke to
her with the usual carelessness, but not forbiddingly.
'What is it? Those Holloway people, I'll warrant.'
'No, no! It's about Marian. She had a letter from one of those
young ladies this afternoon.'
'What young ladies?' asked Yule, with impatience of this
circuitous approach.
'The Miss Milvains.'
'Well, there's no harm that I know of. They're decent people.'
'Yes; so you told me. But she began to speak about their brother,
and--'
'What about him? Do say what you want to say, and have done with
it!'
'I can't help thinking, Alfred, that she's disappointed you
didn't ask him to come here.'
Yule stared at her in slight surprise. He was still not angry,
and seemed quite willing to consider this matter suggested to him
so timorously.
'Oh, you think so? Well, I don't know. Why should I have asked
him? It was only because Miss Harrow seemed to wish it that I saw
him down there. I have no particular interest in him. And as for-
-'
He broke off and seated himself. Mrs Yule stood at a distance.
'We must remember her age,' she said.
'Why yes, of course.'
He mused, and began to nibble a biscuit.
'And you know, Alfred, she never does meet any young men. I've
often thought it wasn't right to her.'
'H'm! But this lad Milvain is a very doubtful sort of customer.
To begin with, he has nothing, and they tell me his mother for
the most part supports him. I don't quite approve of that. She
isn't well off, and he ought to have been making a living by now.
He has a kind of cleverness, may do something; but there's no
being sure of that.'
These thoughts were not coming into his mind for the first time.
On the occasion when he met Milvain and Marian together in the
country road he had necessarily reflected upon the possibilities
of such intercourse, and with the issue that he did not care to
give any particular encouragement to its continuance. He of
course heard of Milvain's leave-taking call, and he purposely
refrained from seeing the young man after that. The matter took
no very clear shape in his meditations; he saw no likelihood that
either of the young people would think much of the other after
their parting, and time enough to trouble one's head with such
subjects when they could no longer be postponed. It would not
have been pleasant to him to foresee a life of spinsterhood for
his daughter; but she was young, and--she was a valuable
assistant.
How far did that latter consideration weigh with him? He put the
question pretty distinctly to himself now that his wife had
broached the matter thus unexpectedly. Was he prepared to behave
with deliberate selfishness? Never yet had any conflict been
manifested between his interests and Marian's; practically he was
in the habit of counting upon her aid for an indefinite period.
If indeed he became editor of The Study, why, in that case her
assistance would be less needful. And indeed it seemed probable
that young Milvain had a future before him.
'But, in any case,' he said aloud, partly continuing his
thoughts, partly replying to a look of disappointment on his
wife's face, 'how do you know that he has any wish to come and
see Marian?'
'I don't know anything about it, of course.'
'And you may have made a mistake about her. What made you think
she--had him in mind?'
'Well, it was her way of speaking, you know. And then, she asked
if you had got a dislike to him.'
'She did? H'm! Well, I don't think Milvain is any good to Marian.
He's just the kind of man to make himself agreeable to a girl for
the fun of the thing.'
Mrs Yule looked alarmed.
'Oh, if you really think that, don't let him come. I wouldn't for
anything.'
'I don't say it for certain.' He took a sip of his coffee. 'I
have had no opportunity of observing him with much attention. But
he's not the kind of man I care for.'
'Then no doubt it's better as it is.'
'Yes. I don't see that anything could be done now. We shall see
whether he gets on. I advise you not to mention him to her.'
'Oh no, I won't.'
She moved as if to go away, but her heart had been made uneasy by
that short conversation which followed on Marian's reading the
letter, and there were still things she wished to put into words.
'If those young ladies go on writing to her, I dare say they'll
often speak about their brother.'
'Yes, it's rather unfortunate.'
'And you know, Alfred, he may have asked them to do it.'
'I suppose there's one subject on which all women can be subtle,'
muttered Yule, smiling. The remark was not a kind one, but he did
not make it worse by his tone.
The listener failed to understand him, and looked with her
familiar expression of mental effort.
'We can't help that,' he added, with reference to her suggestion.
'If he has any serious thoughts, well, let him go on and wait for
opportunities.'
'It's a great pity, isn't it, that she can't see more people--of
the right kind?'
'No use talking about it. Things are as they are. I can't see
that her life is unhappy.'
'It isn't very happy.'
'You think not?'
'I'm sure it isn't.'
'If I get The Study things may be different. Though-- But it's no
use talking about what can't be helped. Now don't you go
encouraging her to think herself lonely, and so on. It's best for
her to keep close to work, I'm sure of that.'
'Perhaps it is.'
'I'll think it over.'
Mrs Yule silently left the room, and went back to her sewing.
She had understood that 'Though--' and the 'what can't be
helped.' Such allusions reminded her of a time unhappier than the
present, when she had been wont to hear plainer language. She
knew too well that, had she been a woman of education, her
daughter would not now be suffering from loneliness.
It was her own choice that she did not go with her husband and
Marian to John Yule's. She made an excuse that the house could
not be left to one servant; but in any case she would have
remained at home, for her presence must needs be an embarrassment
both to father and daughter. Alfred was always ashamed of her
before strangers; he could not conceal his feeling, either from
her or from other people who had reason for observing him. Marian
was not perhaps ashamed, but such companionship put restraint
upon her freedom. And would it not always be the same? Supposing
Mr Milvain were to come to this house, would it not repel him
when he found what sort of person Marian's mother was?
She shed a few tears over her needlework.
At midnight the study door opened. Yule came to the dining-room
to see that all was right, and it surprised him to find his wife
still sitting there.
'Why are you so late?'
'I've forgot the time.'
'Forgotten, forgotten. Don't go back to that kind of language
again. Come, put the light out.'
Of the acquaintances Yule had retained from his earlier years
several were in the well-defined category of men with
unpresentable wives. There was Hinks, for instance, whom, though
in anger he spoke of him as a bore, Alfred held in some genuine
regard. Hinks made perhaps a hundred a year out of a kind of
writing which only certain publishers can get rid of and of this
income he spent about a third on books. His wife was the daughter
of a laundress, in whose house he had lodged thirty years ago,
when new to London but already long-acquainted with hunger; they
lived in complete harmony, but Mrs Hinks, who was four years the
elder, still spoke the laundress tongue, unmitigated and
immitigable. Another pair were Mr and Mrs Gorbutt. In this case
there were no narrow circumstances to contend with, for the wife,
originally a nursemaid, not long after her marriage inherited
house property from a relative. Mr Gorbutt deemed himself a poet;
since his accession to an income he had published, at his own
expense, a yearly volume of verses; the only result being to keep
alive rancour in his wife, who was both parsimonious and vain.
Making no secret of it, Mrs Gorbutt rued the day on which she had
wedded a man of letters, when by waiting so short a time she
would have been enabled to aim at a prosperous tradesman, who
kept his gig and had everything handsome about him. Mrs Yule
suspected, not without reason, that this lady had an inclination
to strong liquors. Thirdly came Mr and Mrs Christopherson, who
were poor as church mice. Even in a friend's house they wrangled
incessantly, and made tragi-comical revelations of their home
life. The husband worked casually at irresponsible journalism,
but his chosen study was metaphysics; for many years he had had a
huge and profound book on hand, which he believed would bring him
fame, though he was not so unsettled in mind as to hope for
anything else. When an article or two had earned enough money for
immediate necessities he went off to the British Museum, and then
the difficulty was to recall him to profitable exertions. Yet
husband and wife had an affection for each other. Mrs
Christopherson came from Camberwell, where her father, once upon
a time, was the smallest of small butchers. Disagreeable stories
were whispered concerning her earlier life, and probably the
metaphysician did not care to look back in that direction. They
had had three children; all were happily buried.
These men were capable of better things than they had done or
would ever do; in each case their failure to fulfil youthful
promise was largely explained by the unpresentable wife. They
should have waited; they might have married a social equal at
something between fifty and sixty.
Another old friend was Mr Quarmby. Unwedded he, and perpetually
exultant over men who, as he phrased it, had noosed themselves.
He made a fair living, but, like Dr Johnson, had no passion for
clean linen.
Yule was not disdainful of these old companions, and the fact
that all had a habit of looking up to him increased his pleasure
in their occasional society. If, as happened once or twice in
half a year, several of them were gathered together at his house,
he tasted a sham kind of social and intellectual authority which
he could not help relishing. On such occasions he threw off his
habitual gloom and talked vigorously, making natural display of
his learning and critical ability. The topic, sooner or later,
was that which is inevitable in such a circle--the demerits, the
pretentiousness, the personal weaknesses of prominent
contemporaries in the world of letters. Then did the room ring
with scornful laughter, with boisterous satire, with shouted
irony, with fierce invective. After an evening of that kind Yule
was unwell and miserable for several days.
It was not to be expected that Mr Quarmby, inveterate chatterbox
of the Reading-room and other resorts, should keep silence
concerning what he had heard of Mr Rackett's intentions. The
rumour soon spread that Alfred Yule was to succeed Fadge in the
direction of The Study, with the necessary consequence that Yule
found himself an object of affectionate interest to a great many
people of whom he knew little or nothing. At the same time the
genuine old friends pressed warmly about him, with
congratulations, with hints of their sincere readiness to assist
in filling the columns of the paper. All this was not
disagreeable, but in the meantime Yule had heard nothing whatever
from Mr Rackett himself and his doubts did not diminish as week
after week went by.
The event justified him. At the end of October appeared an
authoritative announcement that Fadge's successor would be--not
Alfred Yule, but a gentleman who till of late had been quietly
working as a sub-editor in the provinces, and who had neither
friendships nor enmities among the people of the London literary
press. A young man, comparatively fresh from the university, and
said to be strong in pure scholarship. The choice, as you are
aware, proved a good one, and The Study became an organ of more
repute than ever.
Yule had been secretly conscious that it was not to men such as
he that positions of this kind are nowadays entrusted. He tried
to persuade himself that he was not disappointed. But when Mr
Quarmby approached him with blank face, he spoke certain wrathful
words which long rankled in that worthy's mind. At home he kept
sullen silence.
No, not to such men as he--poor, and without social
recommendations. Besides, he was growing too old. In literature,
as in most other pursuits, the press of energetic young men was
making it very hard for a veteran even to hold the little
grazing-plot he had won by hard fighting. Still, Quarmby's story
had not been without foundation; it was true that the proprietor
of The Study had for a moment thought of Alfred Yule, doubtless
as the natural contrast to Clement Fadge, whom he would have
liked to mortify if the thing were possible. But counsellors had
proved to Mr Rackett the disadvantages of such a choice.
Mrs Yule and her daughter foresaw but too well the results of
this disappointment, notwithstanding that Alfred announced it to
them with dry indifference. The month that followed was a time of
misery for all in the house. Day after day Yule sat at his meals
in sullen muteness; to his wife he scarcely spoke at all, and his
conversation with Marian did not go beyond necessary questions
and remarks on topics of business. His face became so strange a
colour that one would have thought him suffering from an attack
of jaundice; bilious headaches exasperated his savage mood. Mrs
Yule knew from long experience how worse than useless it was for
her to attempt consolation; in silence was her only safety. Nor
did Marian venture to speak directly of what had happened. But
one evening, when she had been engaged in the study and was now
saying 'Good-night,' she laid her cheek against her father's, an
unwonted caress which had a strange effect upon him. The
expression of sympathy caused his thoughts to reveal themselves
as they never yet had done before his daughter.
'It might have been very different with me,' he exclaimed
abruptly, as if they had already been conversing on the subject.
'When you think of my failures--and you must often do so now you
are grown up and understand things--don't forget the obstacles
that have been in my way. I don't like you to look upon your
father as a thickhead who couldn't be expected to succeed. Look
at Fadge. He married a woman of good social position; she brought
him friends and influence. But for that he would never have been
editor of The Study, a place for which he wasn't in the least
fit. But he was able to give dinners; he and his wife went into
society; everybody knew him and talked of him. How has it been
with me? I live here like an animal in its hole, and go blinking
about if by chance I find myself among the people with whom I
ought naturally to associate. If I had been able to come in
direct contact with Rackett and other men of that kind, to dine
with them, and have them to dine with me, to belong to a club,
and so on, I shouldn't be what I am at my age. My one
opportunity--when I edited The Balance--wasn't worth much; there
was no money behind the paper; we couldn't hold out long enough.
But even then, if I could have assumed my proper social standing,
if I could have opened my house freely to the right kind of
people-- How was it possible?'
Marian could not raise her head. She recognised the portion of
truth in what he said, but it shocked her that he should allow
himself to speak thus. Her silence seemed to remind him how
painful it must be to her to hear these accusations of her
mother, and with a sudden 'Good-night' he dismissed her.
She went up to her room, and wept over the wretchedness of all
their lives. Her loneliness had seemed harder to bear than ever
since that last holiday. For a moment, in the lanes about Finden,
there had come to her a vision of joy such as fate owed her
youth; but it had faded, and she could no longer hope for its
return. She was not a woman, but a mere machine for reading and
writing. Did her father never think of this? He was not the only
one to suffer from the circumstances in which poverty had
involved him.
She had no friends to whom she could utter her thoughts. Dora
Milvain had written a second time, and more recently had come a
letter from Maud; but in replying to them she could not give a
true account of herself. Impossible, to them. From what she wrote
they would imagine her contentedly busy, absorbed in the affairs
of literature. To no one could she make known the aching sadness
of her heart, the dreariness of life as it lay before her.
That beginning of half-confidence between her and her mother had
led to nothing. Mrs Yule found no second opportunity of speaking
to her husband about Jasper Milvain, and purposely she refrained
from any further hint or question to Marian. Everything must go
on as hitherto.
The days darkened. Through November rains and fogs Marian went
her usual way to the Museum, and toiled there among the other
toilers. Perhaps once a week she allowed herself to stray about
the alleys of the Reading-room, scanning furtively those who sat
at the desks, but the face she might perchance have discovered
was not there.
One day at the end of the month she sat with books open before
her, but by no effort could fix her attention upon them. It was
gloomy, and one could scarcely see to read; a taste of fog grew
perceptible in the warm, headachy air. Such profound
discouragement possessed her that she could not even maintain the
pretence of study; heedless whether anyone observed her, she let
her hands fall and her head droop. She kept asking herself what
was the use and purpose of such a life as she was condemned to
lead. When already there was more good literature in the world
than any mortal could cope with in his lifetime, here was she
exhausting herself in the manufacture of printed stuff which no
one even pretended to be more than a commodity for the day's
market. What unspeakable folly! To write--was not that the joy
and the privilege of one who had an urgent message for the world?
Her father, she knew well, had no such message; he had abandoned
all thought of original production, and only wrote about writing.
She herself would throw away her pen with joy but for the need of
earning money. And all these people about her, what aim had they
save to make new books out of those already existing, that yet
newer books might in turn be made out of theirs? This huge
library, growing into unwieldiness, threatening to become a
trackless desert of print--how intolerably it weighed upon the
spirit!
Oh, to go forth and labour with one's hands, to do any poorest,
commonest work of which the world had truly need! It was ignoble
to sit here and support the paltry pretence of intellectual
dignity. A few days ago her startled eye had caught an
advertisement in the newspaper, headed 'Literary Machine'; had it
then been invented at last, some automaton to supply the place of
such poor creatures as herself to turn out books and articles?
Alas! the machine was only one for holding volumes conveniently,
that the work of literary manufacture might be physically
lightened. But surely before long some Edison would make the true
automaton; the problem must be comparatively such a simple one.
Only to throw in a given number of old books, and have them
reduced, blended, modernised into a single one for to-day's
consumption.
The fog grew thicker; she looked up at the windows beneath the
dome and saw that they were a dusky yellow. Then her eye
discerned an official walking along the upper gallery, and in
pursuance of her grotesque humour, her mocking misery, she
likened him to a black, lost soul, doomed to wander in an
eternity of vain research along endless shelves. Or again, the
readers who sat here at these radiating lines of desks, what were
they but hapless flies caught in a huge web, its nucleus the
great circle of the Catalogue? Darker, darker. From the towering
wall of volumes seemed to emanate visible motes, intensifying the
obscurity; in a moment the book-lined circumference of the room
would be but a featureless prison-limit.
But then flashed forth the sputtering whiteness of the electric
light, and its ceaseless hum was henceforth a new source of
headache. It reminded her how little work she had done to-day;
she must, she must force herself to think of the task in hand. A
machine has no business to refuse its duty. But the pages were
blue and green and yellow before her eyes; the uncertainty of the
light was intolerable. Right or wrong she would go home, and hide
herself, and let her heart unburden itself of tears.
On her way to return books she encountered Jasper Milvain. Face
to face; no possibility of his avoiding her.
And indeed he seemed to have no such wish. His countenance
lighted up with unmistakable pleasure.
'At last we meet, as they say in the melodramas. Oh, do let me
help you with those volumes, which won't even let you shake
hands. How do you do? How do you like this weather? And how do
you like this light?'
'It's very bad.'
'That'll do both for weather and light, but not for yourself. How
glad I am to see you! Are you just going?'
'Yes.'
'I have scarcely been here half-a-dozen times since I came back
to London.'
'But you are writing still?'
'Oh yes! But I draw upon my genius, and my stores of observation,
and the living world.'
Marian received her vouchers for the volumes, and turned to face
Jasper again. There was a smile on her lips.
'The fog is terrible,' Milvain went on. 'How do you get home?'
'By omnibus from Tottenham Court Road.'
'Then do let me go a part of the way with you. I live in
Mornington Road--up yonder, you know. I have only just come in to
waste half an hour, and after all I think I should be better at
home. Your father is all right, I hope?'
'He is not quite well.'
'I'm sorry to hear that. You are not exactly up to the mark,
either. What weather! What a place to live in, this London, in
winter! It would be a little better down at Finden.'
'A good deal better, I should think. If the weather were bad, it
would be bad in a natural way; but this is artificial misery.'
'I don't let it affect me much,' said Milvain. 'Just of late I
have been in remarkably good spirits. I'm doing a lot of work. No
end of work--more than I've ever done.'
'I am very glad.'
'Where are your out-of-door things? I think there's a ladies'
vestry somewhere, isn't there?'
'Oh yes.'
'Then will you go and get ready? I'll wait for you in the hall.
But, by-the-bye, I am taking it for granted that you were going
alone.'
'I was, quite alone.'
The 'quite' seemed excessive; it made Jasper smile.
'And also,' he added, 'that I shall not annoy you by offering my
company?'
'Why should it annoy me?'
'Good!'
Milvain had only to wait a minute or two. He surveyed Marian from
head to foot when she appeared--an impertinence as unintentional
as that occasionally noticeable in his speech--and smiled
approval. They went out into the fog, which was not one of
London's densest, but made walking disagreeable enough.
'You have heard from the girls, I think?' Jasper resumed.
'Your sisters? Yes; they have been so kind as to write to me.'
'Told you all about their great work? I hope it'll be finished by
the end of the year. The bits they have sent me will do very well
indeed. I knew they had it in them to put sentences together. Now
I want them to think of patching up something or other for The
English Girl; you know the paper?'
'I have heard of it.'
'I happen to know Mrs Boston Wright, who edits it. Met her at a
house the other day, and told her frankly that she would have to
give my sisters something to do. It's the only way to get on; one
has to take it for granted that people are willing to help you. I
have made a host of new acquaintances just lately.'
'I'm glad to hear it,' said Marian.
'Do you know--but how should you? I am going to write for the new
magazine, The Current.'
'Indeed!'
'Edited by that man Fadge.'
'Yes.'
'Your father has no affection for him, I know.'
'He has no reason to have, Mr Milvain.'
'No, no. Fadge is an offensive fellow, when he likes; and I fancy
he very often does like. Well, I must make what use of him I can.
You won't think worse of me because I write for him?'
'I know that one can't exercise choice in such things.'
'True. I shouldn't like to think that you regard me as a Fadge-
like individual, a natural Fadgeite.'
Marian laughed.
'There's no danger of my thinking that.'
But the fog was making their eyes water and getting into their
throats. By when they reached Tottenham Court Road they were both
thoroughly uncomfortable. The 'bus had to be waited for, and in
the meantime they talked scrappily, coughily. In the vehicle
things were a little better, but here one could not converse with
freedom.
'What pestilent conditions of life!' exclaimed Jasper, putting
his face rather near to Marian's. 'I wish to goodness we were
back in those quiet fields--you remember?--with the September sun
warm about us. Shall you go to Finden again before long?'
'I really don't know.'
'I'm sorry to say my mother is far from well. In any case I must
go at Christmas, but I'm afraid it won't be a cheerful visit.'
Arrived in Hampstead Road he offered his hand for good-bye.
'I wanted to talk about all sorts of things. But perhaps I shall
find you again some day.'
He jumped out, and waved his hat in the lurid fog.
Shortly before the end of December appeared the first number of
The Current. Yule had once or twice referred to the forthcoming
magazine with acrid contempt, and of course he did not purchase a
copy.
'So young Milvain has joined Fadge's hopeful standard,' he
remarked, a day or two later, at breakfast. 'They say his paper
is remarkably clever; I could wish it had appeared anywhere else.
Evil communications, &c.'
'But I shouldn't think there's any personal connection,' said
Marian.
'Very likely not. But Milvain has been invited to contribute, you
see.
'Do you think he ought to have refused?'
'Oh no. It's nothing to me; nothing whatever.'
Mrs Yule glanced at her daughter, but Marian seemed unconcerned.
The subject was dismissed. In introducing it Yule had had his
purpose; there had always been an unnatural avoidance of
Milvain's name in conversation, and he wished to have an end of
this. Hitherto he had felt a troublesome uncertainty regarding
his position in the matter. From what his wife had told him it
seemed pretty certain that Marian was disappointed by the abrupt
closing of her brief acquaintance with the young man, and Yule's
affection for his daughter caused him to feel uneasy in the
thought that perhaps he had deprived her of a chance of
happiness. His conscience readily took hold of an excuse for
justifying the course he had followed. Milvain had gone over to
the enemy. Whether or not the young man understood how relentless
the hostility was between Yule and Fadge mattered little; the
probability was that he knew all about it. In any case intimate
relations with him could not have survived this alliance with
Fadge, so that, after all, there had been wisdom in letting the
acquaintance lapse. To be sure, nothing could have come of it.
Milvain was the kind of man who weighed opportunities; every step
he took would be regulated by considerations of advantage; at all
events that was the impression his character had made upon Yule.
Any hopes that Marian might have been induced to form would
assuredly have ended in disappointment. It was kindness to
interpose before things had gone so far.
Henceforth, if Milvain's name was unavoidable, it should be
mentioned just like that of any other literary man. It seemed
very unlikely indeed that Marian would continue to think of him
with any special and personal interest. The fact of her having
got into correspondence with his sisters was unfortunate, but
this kind of thing rarely went on for very long.
Yule spoke of the matter with his wife that evening.
'By-the-bye, has Marian heard from those girls at Finden lately?'
'She had a letter one afternoon last week.'
'Do you see these letters?'
'No; she told me what was in them at first, but now she doesn't.'
'She hasn't spoken to you again of Milvain?'
'Not a word.'
'Well, I understood what I was about,' Yule remarked, with the
confident air of one who doesn't wish to remember that he had
ever felt doubtful. 'There was no good in having the fellow here.
He has got in with a set that I don't at all care for. If she
ever says anything--you understand--you can just let me know.'
Marian had already procured a copy of The Current, and read it
privately. Of the cleverness of Milvain's contribution there
could be no two opinions; it drew the attention of the public,
and all notices of the new magazine made special reference to
this article. With keen interest Marian sought after comments of
the press; when it was possible she cut them out and put them
carefully away.
January passed, and February. She saw nothing of Jasper. A letter
from Dora in the first week of March made announcement that the
'Child's History of the English Parliament' would be published
very shortly; it told her, too, that Mrs Milvain had been very
ill indeed, but that she seemed to recover a little strength as
the weather improved. Of Jasper there was no mention.
A week later came the news that Mrs Milvain had suddenly died.
This letter was received at breakfast-time. The envelope was an
ordinary one, and so little did Marian anticipate the nature of
its contents that at the first sight of the words she uttered an
exclamation of pain. Her father, who had turned from the table to
the fireside with his newspaper, looked round and asked what was
the matter.
'Mrs Milvain died the day before yesterday.'
'Indeed!'
He averted his face again and seemed disposed to say no more. But
in a few moments he inquired:
'What are her daughters likely to do?'
'I have no idea.'
'Do you know anything of their circumstances?'
'I believe they will have to depend upon themselves.'
Nothing more was said. Afterwards Mrs Yule made a few sympathetic
inquiries, but Marian was very brief in her replies.
Ten days after that, on a Sunday afternoon when Marian and her
mother were alone in the sitting-room, they heard the knock of a
visitor at the front door. Yule was out, and there was no
likelihood of the visitor's wishing to see anyone but him. They
listened; the servant went to the door, and, after a murmur of
voices, came to speak to her mistress.
'It's a gentleman called Mr Milvain,' the girl reported, in a way
that proved how seldom callers presented themselves. 'He asked
for Mr Yule, and when I said he was out, then he asked for Miss
Yule.' Mother and daughter looked anxiously at each other. Mrs
Yule was nervous and helpless.
'Show Mr Milvain into the study,' said Marian, with sudden
decision.
'Are you going to see him there?' asked her mother in a hurried
whisper.
'I thought you would prefer that to his coming in here.'
'Yes--yes. But suppose father comes back before he's gone?'
'What will it matter? You forget that he asked for father first.'
'Oh yes! Then don't wait.'
Marian, scarcely less agitated than her mother, was just leaving
the room, when she turned back again.
'If father comes in, you will tell him before he goes into the
study?'
'Yes, I will.'
The fire in the study was on the point of extinction; this was
the first thing Marian's eye perceived on entering, and it gave
her assurance that her father would not be back for some hours.
Evidently he had intended it to go out; small economies of this
kind, unintelligible to people who have always lived at ease, had
been the life-long rule with him. With a sensation of gladness at
having free time before her, Marian turned to where Milvain was
standing, in front of one of the bookcases. He wore no symbol of
mourning, but his countenance was far graver than usual, and
rather paler. They shook hands in silence.
'I am so grieved--' Marian began with broken voice.
'Thank you. I know the girls have told you all about it. We knew
for the last month that it must come before long, though there
was a deceptive improvement just before the end.'
'Please to sit down, Mr Milvain. Father went out not long ago,
and I don't think he will be back very soon.'
'It was not really Mr Yule I wished to see,' said Jasper,
frankly. 'If he had been at home I should have spoken with him
about what I have in mind, but if you will kindly give me a few
minutes it will be much better.'
Marian glanced at the expiring fire. Her curiosity as to what
Milvain had to say was mingled with an anxious doubt whether it
was not too late to put on fresh coals; already the room was
growing very chill, and this appearance of inhospitality troubled
her.
'Do you wish to save it?' Jasper asked, understanding her look
and movement.
'I'm afraid it has got too low.'
'I think not. Life in lodgings has made me skilful at this kind
of thing; let me try my hand.'
He took the tongs and carefully disposed small pieces of coal
upon the glow that remained. Marian stood apart with a feeling of
shame and annoyance. But it is so seldom that situations in life
arrange themselves with dramatic propriety; and, after all, this
vulgar necessity made the beginning of the conversation easier.
'That will be all right now,' said Jasper at length, as little
tongues of flame began to shoot here and there.
Marian said nothing, but seated herself and waited.
'I came up to town yesterday,' Jasper began. 'Of course we have
had a great deal to do and think about. Miss Harrow has been very
kind indeed to the girls; so have several of our old friends in
Wattleborough. It was necessary to decide at once what Maud and
Dora are going to do, and it is on their account that I have come
to see you.
The listener kept silence, with a face of sympathetic attention.
'We have made up our minds that they may as well come to London.
It's a bold step; I'm by no means sure that the result will
justify it. But I think they are perhaps right in wishing to try
it.'
'They will go on with literary work?'
'Well, it's our hope that they may be able to. Of course there's
no chance of their earning enough to live upon for some time. But
the matter stands like this. They have a trifling sum of money,
on which, at a pinch, they could live in London for perhaps a
year and a half. In that time they may find their way to a sort
of income; at all events, the chances are that a year and a half
hence I shall be able to help them to keep body and soul
together.'
The money of which he spoke was the debt owed to their father by
William Milvain. In consequence of Mrs Milvain's pressing
application, half of this sum had at length been paid and the
remainder was promised in a year's time, greatly to Jasper's
astonishment. In addition, there would be the trifle realised by
the sale of furniture, though most of this might have to go in
payment of rent unless the house could be relet immediately.
'They have made a good beginning,' said Marian.
She spoke mechanically, for it was impossible to keep her
thoughts under control. If Maud and Dora came to live in London
it might bring about a most important change in her life; she
could scarcely imagine the happiness of having two such friends
always near. On the other hand, how would it be regarded by her
father? She was at a loss amid conflicting emotions.
'It's better than if they had done nothing at all,' Jasper
replied to her remark. 'And the way they knocked that trifle
together promises well. They did it very quickly, and in a far
more workmanlike way than I should have thought possible.'
'No doubt they share your own talent.'
'Perhaps so. Of course I know that I have talent of a kind,
though I don't rate it very high. We shall have to see whether
they can do anything more than mere booksellers' work; they are
both very young, you know. I think they may be able to write
something that'll do for The English Girl, and no doubt I can hit
upon a second idea that will appeal to Jolly and Monk. At all
events, they'll have books within reach, and better opportunities
every way than at Finden.'
'How do their friends in the country think of it?'
'Very dubiously; but then what else was to be expected? Of
course, the respectable and intelligible path marked out for both
of them points to a lifetime of governessing. But the girls have
no relish for that; they'd rather do almost anything. We talked
over all the aspects of the situation seriously enough--it is
desperately serious, no doubt of that. I told them fairly all the
hardships they would have to face--described the typical London
lodgings, and so on. Still, there's an adventurous vein in them,
and they decided for the risk. If it came to the worst I suppose
they could still find governess work.'
'Let us hope better things.'
'Yes. But now, I should have felt far more reluctant to let them
come here in this way hadn't it been that they regard you as a
friend. To-morrow morning you will probably hear from one or both
of them. Perhaps it would have been better if I had left them to
tell you all this, but I felt I should like to see you and--put
it in my own way. I think you'll understand this feeling, Miss
Yule. I wanted, in fact, to hear from yourself that you would be
a friend to the poor girls.'
'Oh, you already know that! I shall be so very glad to see them
often.'
Marian's voice lent itself very naturally and sweetly to the
expression of warm feeling. Emphasis was not her habit; it only
needed that she should put off her ordinary reserve, utter
quietly the emotional thought which so seldom might declare
itself, and her tones had an exquisite womanliness.
Jasper looked full into her face.
'In that case they won't miss the comfort of home so much. Of
course they will have to go into very modest lodgings indeed. I
have already been looking about. I should like to find rooms for
them somewhere near my own place; it's a decent neighbourhood,
and the park is at hand, and then they wouldn't be very far from
you. They thought it might be possible to make a joint
establishment with me, but I'm afraid that's out of the question.
The lodgings we should want in that case, everything considered,
would cost more than the sum of our expenses if we live apart.
Besides, there's no harm in saying that I don't think we should
get along very well together. We're all of us rather quarrelsome,
to tell the truth, and we try each other's tempers.'
Marian smiled and looked puzzled.
'Shouldn't you have thought that?'
'I have seen no signs of quarrelsomeness.'
'I'm not sure that the worst fault is on my side. Why should one
condemn oneself against conscience? Maud is perhaps the hardest
to get along with. She has a sort of arrogance, an exaggeration
of something I am quite aware of in myself. You have noticed that
trait in me?'
'Arrogance--I think not. You have self-confidence.'
'Which goes into extremes now and then. But, putting myself
aside, I feel pretty sure that the girls won't seem quarrelsome
to you; they would have to be very fractious indeed before that
were possible.'
'We shall continue to be friends, I am sure.'
Jasper let his eyes wander about the room.
'This is your father's study?'
'Yes.'
'Perhaps it would have seemed odd to Mr Yule if I had come in and
begun to talk to him about these purely private affairs. He knows
me so very slightly. But, in calling here for the first time-- '
An unusual embarrassment checked him.
'I will explain to father your very natural wish to speak of
these things,' said Marian, with tact.
She thought uneasily of her mother in the next room. To her there
appeared no reason whatever why Jasper should not be introduced
to Mrs Yule, yet she could not venture to propose it. Remembering
her father's last remarks about Milvain in connection with
Fadge's magazine, she must wait for distinct permission before
offering the young man encouragement to repeat his visit. Perhaps
there was complicated trouble in store for her; impossible to say
how her father's deep-rooted and rankling antipathies might
affect her intercourse even with the two girls. But she was of
independent years; she must be allowed the choice of her own
friends. The pleasure she had in seeing Jasper under this roof,
in hearing him talk with such intimate friendliness, strengthened
her to resist timid thoughts.
'When will your sisters arrive?' she asked.
'I think in a very few days. When I have fixed upon lodgings for
them I must go back to Finden; then they will return with me as
soon as we can get the house emptied. It's rather miserable
selling things one has lived among from childhood. A friend in
Wattleborough will house for us what we really can't bear to part
with.'
'It must be very sad,' Marian murmured.
'You know,' said the other suddenly, 'that it's my fault the
girls are left in such a hard position?'
Marian looked at him with startled eyes. His tone was quite
unfamiliar to her.
'Mother had an annuity,' he continued. 'It ended with her life,
but if it hadn't been for me she could have saved a good deal out
of it. Until the last year or two I have earned nothing, and I
have spent more than was strictly necessary. Well, I didn't live
like that in mere recklessness; I knew I was preparing myself for
remunerative work. But it seems too bad now. I'm sorry for it. I
wish I had found some way of supporting myself. The end of
mother's life was made far more unhappy than it need have been. I
should like you to understand all this.'
The listener kept her eyes on the ground.
'Perhaps the girls have hinted it to you?' Jasper added.
'No.'
'Selfishness--that's one of my faults. It isn't a brutal kind of
selfishness; the thought of it often enough troubles me. If I
were rich, I should be a generous and good man; I know I should.
So would many another poor fellow whose worst features come out
under hardship. This isn't a heroic type; of course not. I am a
civilised man, that's all.'
Marian could say nothing.
'You wonder why I am so impertinent as to talk about myself like
this. I have gone through a good deal of mental pain these last
few weeks, and somehow I can't help showing you something of my
real thoughts. Just because you are one of the few people I
regard with sincere respect. I don't know you very well, but
quite well enough to respect you. My sisters think of you in the
same way. I shall do many a base thing in life, just to get money
and reputation; I tell you this that you mayn't be surprised if
anything of that kind comes to your ears. I can't afford to live
as I should like to.'
She looked up at him with a smile.
'People who are going to live unworthily don't declare it in this
way.'
'I oughtn't to; a few minutes ago I had no intention of saying
such things. It means I am rather overstrung, I suppose; but it's
all true, unfortunately.'
He rose, and began to run his eye along the shelves nearest to
him.
'Well, now I will go, Miss Yule.'
Marian stood up as he approached.
'It's all very well,' he said, smiling, 'for me to encourage my
sisters in the hope that they may earn a living; but suppose I
can't even do it myself? It's by no means certain that I shall
make ends meet this year.'
'You have every reason to hope, I think.'
'I like to hear people say that, but it'll mean savage work. When
we were all at Finden last year, I told the girls that it would
be another twelve months before I could support myself. Now I am
forced to do it. And I don't like work; my nature is lazy. I
shall never write for writing's sake, only to make money. All my
plans and efforts will have money in view--all. I shan't allow
anything to come in the way of my material advancement.'
'I wish you every success,' said Marian, without looking at him,
and without a smile.
'Thank you. But that sounds too much like good-bye. I trust we
are to be friends, for all that?'
'Indeed, I hope we may be.'
They shook hands, and he went towards the door. But before
opening it, he asked:
'Did you read that thing of mine in The Current?'
'Yes, I did.'
'It wasn't bad, I think?'
'It seemed to me very clever.'
'Clever--yes, that's the word. It had a success, too. I have as
good a thing half done for the April number, but I've felt too
heavy-hearted to go on with it. The girls shall let you know when
they are in town.'
Marian followed him into the passage, and watched him as he
opened the front door. When it had closed, she went back into the
study for a few minutes before rejoining her mother.
After all, there came a day when Edwin Reardon found himself
regularly at work once more, ticking off his stipulated quantum
of manuscript each four-and-twenty hours. He wrote a very small
hand; sixty written slips of the kind of paper he habitually used
would represent--thanks to the astonishing system which prevails
in such matters: large type, wide spacing, frequency of blank
pages--a passable three-hundred-page volume. On an average he
could write four such slips a day; so here we have fifteen days
for the volume, and forty-five for the completed book.
Forty-five days; an eternity in the looking forward. Yet the
calculation gave him a faint-hearted encouragement. At that rate
he might have his book sold by Christmas. It would certainly not
bring him a hundred pounds; seventy-five perhaps. But even that
small sum would enable him to pay the quarter's rent, and then
give him a short time, if only two or three weeks, of mental
rest. If such rest could not be obtained all was at an end with
him. He must either find some new means of supporting himself and
his family, or--have done with life and its responsibilities
altogether.
The latter alternative was often enough before him. He seldom
slept for more than two or three consecutive hours in the night,
and the time of wakefulness was often terrible. The various
sounds which marked the stages from midnight to dawn had grown
miserably familiar to him; worst torture to his mind was the
chiming and striking of clocks. Two of these were in general
audible, that of Marylebone parish church, and that of the
adjoining workhouse; the latter always sounded several minutes
after its ecclesiastical neighbour, and with a difference of note
which seemed to Reardon very appropriate--a thin, querulous
voice, reminding one of the community it represented. After lying
awake for awhile he would hear quarters sounding; if they ceased
before the fourth he was glad, for he feared to know what time it
was. If the hour was complete, he waited anxiously for its
number. Two, three, even four, were grateful; there was still a
long time before he need rise and face the dreaded task, the
horrible four blank slips of paper that had to be filled ere he
might sleep again. But such restfulness was only for a moment; no
sooner had the workhouse bell become silent than he began to toil
in his weary imagination, or else, incapable of that, to vision
fearful hazards of the future. The soft breathing of Amy at his
side, the contact of her warm limbs, often filled him with
intolerable dread. Even now he did not believe that Amy loved him
with the old love, and the suspicion was like a cold weight at
his heart that to retain even her wifely sympathy, her wedded
tenderness, he must achieve the impossible.
The impossible; for he could no longer deceive himself with a
hope of genuine success. If he earned a bare living, that would
be the utmost. And with bare livelihood Amy would not, could not,
be content.
If he were to die a natural death it would be well for all. His
wife and the child would be looked after; they could live with
Mrs Edmund Yule, and certainly it would not be long before Amy
married again, this time a man of whose competency to maintain
her there would be no doubt. His own behaviour had been cowardly
selfishness. Oh yes, she had loved him, had been eager to believe
in him. But there was always that voice of warning in his mind;
he foresaw--he knew--
And if he killed himself? Not here; no lurid horrors for that
poor girl and her relatives; but somewhere at a distance, under
circumstances which would render the recovery of his body
difficult, yet would leave no doubt of his death. Would that,
again, be cowardly? The opposite, when once it was certain that
to live meant poverty and wretchedness. Amy's grief, however
sincere, would be but a short trial compared with what else might
lie before her. The burden of supporting her and Willie would be
a very slight one if she went to live in her mother's house. He
considered the whole matter night after night, until perchance it
happened that sleep had pity upon him for an hour before the time
of rising.
Autumn was passing into winter. Dark days, which were always an
oppression to his mind, began to be frequent, and would soon
succeed each other remorselessly. Well, if only each of them
represented four written slips.
Milvain's advice to him had of course proved useless. The
sensational title suggested nothing, or only ragged shapes of
incomplete humanity that fluttered mockingly when he strove to
fix them. But he had decided upon a story of the kind natural to
him; a 'thin' story, and one which it would be difficult to spin
into three volumes. His own, at all events. The title was always
a matter for head-racking when the book was finished; he had
never yet chosen it before beginning.
For a week he got on at the desired rate; then came once more the
crisis he had anticipated.
A familiar symptom of the malady which falls upon outwearied
imagination. There were floating in his mind five or six possible
subjects for a book, all dating back to the time when he first
began novel-writing, when ideas came freshly to him. If he
grasped desperately at one of these, and did his best to develop
it, for a day or two he could almost content himself; characters,
situations, lines of motive, were laboriously schemed, and he
felt ready to begin writing. But scarcely had he done a chapter
or two when all the structure fell into flatness. He had made a
mistake. Not this story, but that other one, was what he should
have taken. The other one in question, left out of mind for a
time, had come back with a face of new possibility; it invited
him, tempted him to throw aside what he had already written.
Good; now he was in more hopeful train. But a few days, and the
experience repeated itself. No, not this story, but that third
one, of which he had not thought for a long time. How could he
have rejected so hopeful a subject?
For months he had been living in this way; endless circling,
perpetual beginning, followed by frustration. A sign of
exhaustion, it of course made exhaustion more complete. At times
he was on the border-land of imbecility; his mind looked into a
cloudy chaos, a shapeless whirl of nothings. He talked aloud to
himself, not knowing that he did so. Little phrases which
indicated dolorously the subject of his preoccupation often
escaped him in the street: 'What could I make of that, now?'
'Well, suppose I made him--?' 'But no, that wouldn't do,' and so
on. It had happened that he caught the eye of some one passing
fixed in surprise upon him; so young a man to be talking to
himself in evident distress!
The expected crisis came, even now that he was savagely
determined to go on at any cost, to write, let the result be what
it would. His will prevailed. A day or two of anguish such as
there is no describing to the inexperienced, and again he was
dismissing slip after slip, a sigh of thankfulness at the
completion of each one. It was a fraction of the whole, a
fraction, a fraction.
The ordering of his day was thus. At nine, after breakfast, he
sat down to his desk, and worked till one. Then came dinner,
followed by a walk. As a rule he could not allow Amy to walk with
him, for he had to think over the remainder of the day's toil,
and companionship would have been fatal. At about half-past three
he again seated himself; and wrote until half-past six, when he
had a meal. Then once more to work from half-past seven to ten.
Numberless were the experiments he had tried for the day's
division. The slightest interruption of the order for the time
being put him out of gear; Amy durst not open his door to ask
however necessary a question.
Sometimes the three hours' labour of a morning resulted in
half-a-dozen lines, corrected into illegibility. His brain would
not work; he could not recall the simplest synonyms; intolerable
faults of composition drove him mad. He would write a sentence
beginning thus: 'She took a book with a look of--;' or thus: 'A
revision of this decision would have made him an object of
derision.' Or, if the period were otherwise inoffensive, it ran
in a rhythmic gallop which was torment to the ear. All this, in
spite of the fact that his former books had been noticeably good
in style. He had an appreciation of shapely prose which made him
scorn himself for the kind of stuff he was now turning out. 'I
can't help it; it must go; the time is passing.'
Things were better, as a rule, in the evening. Occasionally he
wrote a page with fluency which recalled his fortunate years; and
then his heart gladdened, his hand trembled with joy.
Description of locality, deliberate analysis of character or
motive, demanded far too great an effort for his present
condition. He kept as much as possible to dialogue; the space is
filled so much more quickly, and at a pinch one can make people
talk about the paltriest incidents of life.
There came an evening when he opened the door and called to Amy.
'What is it?' she answered from the bedroom. 'I'm busy with
Willie.'
'Come as soon as you are free.'
In ten minutes she appeared. There was apprehension on her face;
she feared he was going to lament his inability to work. Instead
of that, he told her joyfully that the first volume was finished.
'Thank goodness!' she exclaimed. 'Are you going to do any more
to-night?'
'I think not--if you will come and sit with me.'
'Willie doesn't seem very well. He can't get to sleep.'
'You would like to stay with him?'
'A little while. I'll come presently.'
She closed the door. Reardon brought a high-backed chair to the
fireside, and allowed himself to forget the two volumes that had
still to be struggled through, in a grateful sense of the portion
that was achieved. In a few minutes it occurred to him that it
would be delightful to read a scrap of the 'Odyssey'; he went to
the shelves on which were his classical books, took the desired
volume, and opened it where Odysseus speaks to Nausicaa:
'For never yet did I behold one of mortals like to thee, neither
man nor woman; I am awed as I look upon thee. In Delos once, hard
by the altar of Apollo, I saw a young palm-tree shooting up with
even such a grace.'
Yes, yes; THAT was not written at so many pages a day, with a
workhouse clock clanging its admonition at the poet's ear. How it
freshened the soul! How the eyes grew dim with a rare joy in the
sounding of those nobly sweet hexameters!
Amy came into the room again.
'Listen,' said Reardon, looking up at her with a bright smile.
'Do you remember the first time that I read you this?'
And he turned the speech into free prose. Amy laughed.
'I remember it well enough. We were alone in the drawing-room; I
had told the others that they must make shift with the dining-
room for that evening. And you pulled the book out of your pocket
unexpectedly. I laughed at your habit of always carrying little
books about.'
The cheerful news had brightened her. If she had been summoned to
hear lamentations her voice would not have rippled thus
soothingly. Reardon thought of this, and it made him silent for a
minute.
'The habit was ominous,' he said, looking at her with an
uncertain smile. 'A practical literary man doesn't do such
things.'
'Milvain, for instance. No.'
With curious frequency she mentioned the name of Milvain. Her
unconsciousness in doing so prevented Reardon from thinking about
the fact; still, he had noted it.
'Did you understand the phrase slightingly?' he asked.
'Slightingly? Yes, a little, of course. It always has that sense
on your lips, I think.'
In the light of this answer he mused upon her readily-offered
instance. True, he had occasionally spoken of Jasper with
something less than respect, but Amy was not in the habit of
doing so.
'I hadn't any such meaning just then,' he said. 'I meant quite
simply that my bookish habits didn't promise much for my success
as a novelist.'
'I see. But you didn't think of it in that way at the time.'
He sighed.
'No. At least--no.'
'At least what?'
'Well, no; on the whole I had good hope.'
Amy twisted her fingers together impatiently.
'Edwin, let me tell you something. You are getting too fond of
speaking in a discouraging way. Now, why should you do so? I
don't like it. It has one disagreeable effect on me, and that is,
when people ask me about you, how you are getting on, I don't
quite know how to answer. They can't help seeing that I am
uneasy. I speak so differently from what I used to.'
'Do you, really?'
'Indeed I can't help it. As I say, it's very much your own
fault.'
'Well, but granted that I am not of a very sanguine nature, and
that I easily fall into gloomy ways of talk, what is Amy here
for?'
'Yes, yes. But--'
'But?'
'I am not here only to try and keep you in good spirits, am I?'
She asked it prettily, with a smile like that of maidenhood.
'Heaven forbid! I oughtn't to have put it in that absolute way. I
was half joking, you know. But unfortunately it's true that I
can't be as light-spirited as I could wish. Does that make you
impatient with me?'
'A little. I can't help the feeling, and I ought to try to
overcome it. But you must try on your side as well. Why should
you have said that thing just now?'
'You're quite right. It was needless.'
'A few weeks ago I didn't expect you to be cheerful. Things began
to look about as bad as they could. But now that you've got a
volume finished, there's hope once more.'
Hope? Of what quality? Reardon durst not say what rose in his
thoughts. 'A very small, poor hope. Hope of money enough to
struggle through another half year, if indeed enough for that.'
He had learnt that Amy was not to be told the whole truth about
anything as he himself saw it. It was a pity. To the ideal wife a
man speaks out all that is in him; she had infinitely rather
share his full conviction than be treated as one from whom facts
must be disguised. She says: 'Let us face the worst and talk of
it together, you and I.' No, Amy was not the ideal wife from that
point of view. But the moment after this half-reproach had
traversed his consciousness he condemned himself; and looked with
the joy of love into her clear eyes.
'Yes, there's hope once more, my dearest. No more gloomy talk to-
night! I have read you something, now you shall read something to
me; it is a long time since I delighted myself with listening to
you. What shall it be?'
'I feel rather too tired to-night.'
'Do you?'
'I have had to look after Willie so much. But read me some more
Homer; I shall be very glad to listen.'
Reardon reached for the book again, but not readily. His face
showed disappointment. Their evenings together had never been the
same since the birth of the child; Willie was always an excuse--
valid enough --for Amy's feeling tired. The little boy had come
between him and the mother, as must always be the case in poor
homes, most of all where the poverty is relative. Reardon could
not pass the subject without a remark, but he tried to speak
humorously.
'There ought to be a huge public creche in London. It's monstrous
that an educated mother should have to be nursemaid.'
'But you know very well I think nothing of that. A creche,
indeed! No child of mine should go to any such place.'
There it was. She grudged no trouble on behalf of the child. That
was love; whereas-- But then maternal love was a mere matter of
course.
'As soon as you get two or three hundred pounds for a book,' she
added, laughing, 'there'll be no need for me to give so much
time.'
'Two or three hundred pounds!' He repeated it with a shake of the
head. 'Ah, if that were possible!'
'But that's really a paltry sum. What would fifty novelists you
could name say if they were offered three hundred pounds for a
book? How much do you suppose even Markland got for his last?'
'Didn't sell it at all, ten to one. Gets a royalty.'
'Which will bring him five or six hundred pounds before the book
ceases to be talked of.'
'Never mind. I'm sick of the word "pounds."'
'So am I.'
She sighed, commenting thus on her acquiescence.
'But look, Amy. If I try to be cheerful in spite of natural
dumps, wouldn't it be fair for you to put aside thoughts of
money?'
'Yes. Read some Homer, dear. Let us have Odysseus down in Hades,
and Ajax stalking past him. Oh, I like that!'
So he read, rather coldly at first, but soon warming. Amy sat
with folded arms, a smile on her lips, her brows knitted to the
epic humour. In a few minutes it was as if no difficulties
threatened their life. Every now and then Reardon looked up from
his translating with a delighted laugh, in which Amy joined.
When he had returned the book to the shelf he stepped behind his
wife's chair, leaned upon it, and put his cheek against hers.
'Amy!'
'Yes, dear?'
'Do you still love me a little?'
'Much more than a little.'
'Though I am sunk to writing a wretched pot-boiler?'
'Is it so bad as all that?'
'Confoundedly bad. I shall be ashamed to see it in print; the
proofs will be a martyrdom.'
'Oh, but why? why?'
'It's the best I can do, dearest. So you don't love me enough to
hear that calmly.'
'If I didn't love you, I might be calmer about it, Edwin. It's
dreadful to me to think of what they will say in the reviews.'
'Curse the reviews!'
His mood had changed on the instant. He stood up with darkened
face, trembling angrily.
'I want you to promise me something, Amy. You won't read a single
one of the notices unless it is forced upon your attention. Now,
promise me that. Neglect them absolutely, as I do. They're not
worth a glance of your eyes. And I shan't be able to bear it if I
know you read all the contempt that will be poured on me.'
'I'm sure I shall be glad enough to avoid it; but other people,
our friends, read it. That's the worst.'
'You know that their praise would be valueless, so have strength
to disregard the blame. Let our friends read and talk as much as
they like. Can't you console yourself with the thought that I am
not contemptible, though I may have been forced to do poor work?'
'People don't look at it in that way.'
'But, darling,' he took her hands strongly in his own, 'I want
you to disregard other people. You and I are surely everything to
each other? Are you ashamed of me, of me myself?'
'No, not ashamed of you. But I am sensitive to people's talk and
opinions.'
'But that means they make you feel ashamed of me. What else?'
There was silence.
'Edwin, if you find you are unable to do good work, you mustn't
do bad. We must think of some other way of making a living.'
'Have you forgotten that you urged me to write a trashy
sensational story?'
She coloured and looked annoyed.
'You misunderstood me. A sensational story needn't be trash. And
then, you know, if you had tried something entirely unlike your
usual work, that would have been excuse enough if people had
called it a failure.'
'People! People!'
'We can't live in solitude, Edwin, though really we are not far
from it.' He did not dare to make any reply to this. Amy was so
exasperatingly womanlike in avoiding the important issue to which
he tried to confine her; another moment, and his tone would be
that of irritation. So he turned away and sat down to his desk,
as if he had some thought of resuming work.
'Will you come and have some supper?' Amy asked, rising.
'I have been forgetting that to-morrow morning's chapter has
still to be thought out.'
'Edwin, I can't think this book will really be so poor. You
couldn't possibly give all this toil for no result.'
'No; not if I were in sound health. But I am far from it.'
'Come and have supper with me, dear, and think afterwards.'
He turned and smiled at her.
'I hope I shall never be able to resist an invitation from you,
sweet.'
The result of all this was, of course, that he sat down in
anything but the right mood to his work next morning. Amy's
anticipation of criticism had made it harder than ever for him to
labour at what he knew to be bad. And, as ill-luck would have it,
in a day or two he caught his first winter's cold. For several
years a succession of influenzas, sore-throats, lumbagoes, had
tormented him from October to May; in planning his present work,
and telling himself that it must be finished before Christmas, he
had not lost sight of these possible interruptions. But he said
to himself: 'Other men have worked hard in seasons of illness; I
must do the same.' All very well, but Reardon did not belong to
the heroic class. A feverish cold now put his powers and
resolution to the test. Through one hideous day he nailed himself
to the desk--and wrote a quarter of a page. The next day Amy
would not let him rise from bed; he was wretchedly ill. In the
night he had talked about his work deliriously, causing her no
slight alarm.
'If this goes on,' she said to him in the morning, 'you'll have
brain fever. You must rest for two or three days.'
'Teach me how to. I wish I could.'
Rest had indeed become out of the question. For two days he could
not write, but the result upon his mind was far worse than if he
had been at the desk. He looked a haggard creature when he again
sat down with the accustomed blank slip before him.
The second volume ought to have been much easier work than the
first; it proved far harder. Messieurs and mesdames the critics
are wont to point out the weakness of second volumes; they are
generally right, simply because a story which would have made a
tolerable book (the common run of stories) refuses to fill three
books. Reardon's story was in itself weak, and this second volume
had to consist almost entirely of laborious padding. If he wrote
three slips a day he did well.
And the money was melting, melting, despite Amy's efforts at
economy. She spent as little as she could; not a luxury came into
their home; articles of clothing all but indispensable were left
unpurchased. But to what purpose was all this? Impossible, now,
that the book should be finished and sold before the money had
all run out.
At the end of November, Reardon said to his wife one morning:
'To-morrow I finish the second volume.'
'And in a week,' she replied, 'we shan't have a shilling left.'
He had refrained from making inquiries, and Amy had forborne to
tell him the state of things, lest it should bring him to a dead
stop in his writing. But now they must needs discuss their
position.
'In three weeks I can get to the end,' said Reardon, with
unnatural calmness. 'Then I will go personally to the publishers,
and beg them to advance me something on the manuscript before
they have read it.'
'Couldn't you do that with the first two volumes?'
'No, I can't; indeed I can't. The other thing will be bad enough;
but to beg on an incomplete book, and such a book--I can't!'
There were drops on his forehead.
'They would help you if they knew,' said Amy in a low voice.
'Perhaps; I can't say. They can't help every poor devil. No; I
will sell some books. I can pick out fifty or sixty that I shan't
much miss.'
Amy knew what a wrench this would be. The imminence of distress
seemed to have softened her.
'Edwin, let me take those two volumes to the publishers, and ask
--'
'Heavens! no. That's impossible. Ten to one you will be told that
my work is of such doubtful value that they can't offer even a
guinea till the whole book has been considered. I can't allow you
to go, dearest. This morning I'll choose some books that I can
spare, and after dinner I'll ask a man to come and look at them.
Don't worry yourself; I can finish in three weeks, I'm sure I
can. If I can get you three or four pounds you could make it do,
couldn't you?'
'Yes.'
She averted her face as she spoke.
'You shall have that.' He still spoke very quietly. 'If the books
won't bring enough, there's my watch--oh, lots of things.'
He turned abruptly away, and Amy went on with her household work.
It was natural that Amy should hint dissatisfaction with the
loneliness in which her days were mostly spent. She had never
lived in a large circle of acquaintances; the narrowness of her
mother's means restricted the family to intercourse with a few
old friends and such new ones as were content with teacup
entertainment; but her tastes were social, and the maturing
process which followed upon her marriage made her more conscious
of this than she had been before. Already she had allowed her
husband to understand that one of her strongest motives in
marrying him was the belief that he would achieve distinction. At
the time she doubtless thought of his coming fame only--or
principally--as it concerned their relations to each other; her
pride in him was to be one phase of her love. Now she was well
aware that no degree of distinction in her husband would be of
much value to her unless she had the pleasure of witnessing its
effect upon others; she must shine with reflected light before an
admiring assembly.
The more conscious she became of this requirement of her nature,
the more clearly did she perceive that her hopes had been founded
on an error. Reardon would never be a great man; he would never
even occupy a prominent place in the estimation of the public.
The two things, Amy knew, might be as different as light and
darkness; but in the grief of her disappointment she would rather
have had him flare into a worthless popularity than flicker down
into total extinction, which it almost seemed was to be his fate.
She knew so well how 'people' were talking of him and her. Even
her unliterary acquaintances understood that Reardon's last novel
had been anything but successful, and they must of course ask
each other how the Reardons were going to live if the business of
novel-writing proved unremunerative. Her pride took offence at
the mere thought of such conversations. Presently she would
become an object of pity; there would be talk of 'poor Mrs
Reardon.' It was intolerable.
So during the last half year she had withheld as much as possible
from the intercourse which might have been one of her chief
pleasures. And to disguise the true cause she made pretences
which were a satire upon her state of mind--alleging that she had
devoted herself to a serious course of studies, that the care of
house and child occupied all the time she could spare from her
intellectual pursuits. The worst of it was, she had little faith
in the efficacy of these fictions; in uttering them she felt an
unpleasant warmth upon her cheeks, and it was not difficult to
detect a look of doubt in the eyes of the listener. She grew
angry with herself for being dishonest, and with her husband for
making such dishonesty needful.
The female friend with whom she had most trouble was Mrs Carter.
You remember that on the occasion of Reardon's first meeting with
his future wife, at the Grosvenor Gallery, there were present his
friend Carter and a young lady who was shortly to bear the name
of that spirited young man. The Carters had now been married
about a year; they lived in Bayswater, and saw much of a certain
world which imitates on a lower plane the amusements and
affectations of society proper. Mr Carter was still secretary to
the hospital where Reardon had once earned his twenty shillings a
week, but by voyaging in the seas of charitable enterprise he had
come upon supplementary sources of income; for instance, he held
the post of secretary to the Barclay Trust, a charity whose
moderate funds were largely devoted to the support of gentlemen
engaged in administering it. This young man, with his air of
pleasing vivacity, had early ingratiated himself with the kind of
people who were likely to be of use to him; he had his reward in
the shape of offices which are only procured through private
influence. His wife was a good-natured, lively, and rather clever
girl; she had a genuine regard for Amy, and much respect for
Reardon. Her ambition was to form a circle of distinctly
intellectual acquaintances, and she was constantly inviting the
Reardons to her house; a real live novelist is not easily drawn
into the world where Mrs Carter had her being, and it annoyed her
that all attempts to secure Amy and her husband for five-o'clock
teas and small parties had of late failed.
On the afternoon when Reardon had visited a second-hand
bookseller with a view of raising money--he was again shut up in
his study, dolorously at work--Amy was disturbed by the sound of
a visitor's rat-tat; the little servant went to the door, and
returned followed by Mrs Carter.
Under the best of circumstances it was awkward to receive any but
intimate friends during the hours when Reardon sat at his desk.
The little dining-room (with its screen to conceal the kitchen
range) offered nothing more than homely comfort; and then the
servant had to be disposed of by sending her into the bedroom to
take care of Willie. Privacy, in the strict sense, was
impossible, for the servant might listen at the door (one room
led out of the other) to all the conversation that went on; yet
Amy could not request her visitors to speak in a low tone. For
the first year these difficulties had not been felt; Reardon made
a point of leaving the front room at his wife's disposal from
three to six; it was only when dread of the future began to press
upon him that he sat in the study all day long. You see how
complicated were the miseries of the situation; one torment
involved another, and in every quarter subjects of discontent
were multiplied.
Mrs Carter would have taken it ill had she known that Amy did not
regard her as strictly an intimate. They addressed each other by
their Christian names, and conversed without ceremony; but Amy
was always dissatisfied when the well-dressed young woman burst
with laughter and animated talk into this abode of concealed
poverty. Edith was not the kind of person with whom one can
quarrel; she had a kind heart, and was never disagreeably
pretentious. Had circumstances allowed it, Amy would have given
frank welcome to such friendship; she would have been glad to
accept as many invitations as Edith chose to offer. But at
present it did her harm to come in contact with Mrs Carter; it
made her envious, cold to her husband, resentful against fate.
'Why can't she leave me alone?' was the thought that rose in her
mind as Edith entered. 'I shall let her see that I don't want her
here.'
'Your husband at work?' Edith asked, with a glance in the
direction of the study, as soon as they had exchanged kisses and
greetings.
'Yes, he is busy.'
'And you are sitting alone, as usual. I feared you might be out;
an afternoon of sunshine isn't to be neglected at this time of
year.'
'Is there sunshine?' Amy inquired coldly.
'Why, look! Do you mean to say you haven't noticed it? What a
comical person you are sometimes! I suppose you have been over
head and ears in books all day. How is Willie?'
'Very well, thank you.'
'Mayn't I see him?'
'If you like.'
Amy stepped to the bedroom door and bade the servant bring Willie
for exhibition. Edith, who as yet had no child of her own, always
showed the most flattering admiration of this infant; it was so
manifestly sincere that the mother could not but be moved to a
grateful friendliness whenever she listened to its expression.
Even this afternoon the usual effect followed when Edith had made
a pretty and tender fool of herself for several minutes. Amy bade
the servant make tea.
At this moment the door from the passage opened, and Reardon
looked in.
'Well, if this isn't marvellous!' cried Edith. 'I should as soon
have expected the heavens to fall!'
'As what?' asked Reardon, with a pale smile.
'As you to show yourself when I am here.'
'I should like to say that I came on purpose to see you, Mrs
Carter, but it wouldn't be true. I'm going out for an hour, so
that you can take possession of the other room if you like, Amy.'
'Going out?' said Amy, with a look of surprise.
'Nothing--nothing. I mustn't stay.'
He just inquired of Mrs Carter how her husband was, and withdrew.
The door of the flat was heard to close after him.
'Let us go into the study, then,' said Amy, again in rather a
cold voice.
On Reardon's desk were lying slips of blank paper. Edith,
approaching on tiptoe with what was partly make believe, partly
genuine, awe, looked at the literary apparatus, then turned with
a laugh to her friend.
'How delightful it must be to sit down and write about people one
has invented! Ever since I have known you and Mr Reardon I have
been tempted to try if I couldn't write a story.'
'Have you?'
'And I'm sure I don't know how you can resist the temptation. I
feel sure you could write books almost as clever as your
husband's.'
'I have no intention of trying.'
'You don't seem very well to-day, Amy.'
'Oh, I think I am as well as usual.'
She guessed that her husband was once more brought to a
standstill, and this darkened her humour again.
'One of my reasons for corning,' said Edith, 'was to beg and
entreat and implore you and Mr Reardon to dine with us next
Wednesday. Now, don't put on such a severe face! Are you engaged
that evening?'
'Yes; in the ordinary way. Edwin can't possibly leave his work.'
'But for one poor evening! It's such ages since we saw you.'
'I'm very sorry. I don't think we shall ever be able to accept
invitations in future.'
Amy spoke thus at the prompting of a sudden impulse. A minute
ago, no such definite declaration was in her mind.
'Never?' exclaimed Edith. 'But why? Whatever do you mean?'
'We find that social engagements consume too much time,' Amy
replied, her explanation just as much of an impromptu as the
announcement had been. 'You see, one must either belong to
society or not. Married people can't accept an occasional
invitation from friends and never do their social duty in return.
We have decided to withdraw altogether--at all events for the
present. I shall see no one except my relatives.'
Edith listened with a face of astonishment.
'You won't even see ME?' she exclaimed.
'Indeed, I have no wish to lose your friendship. Yet I am ashamed
to ask you to come here when I can never return your visits.'
'Oh, please don't put it in that way! But it seems so very
strange.'
Edith could not help conjecturing the true significance of this
resolve. But, as is commonly the case with people in easy
circumstances, she found it hard to believe that her friends were
so straitened as to have a difficulty in supporting the ordinary
obligations of a civilised state.
'I know how precious your husband's time is,' she added, as if to
remove the effect of her last remark. 'Surely, there's no harm in
my saying --we know each other well enough--you wouldn't think it
necessary to devote an evening to entertaining us just because
you had given us the pleasure of your company. I put it very
stupidly, but I'm sure you understand me, Amy. Don't refuse just
to come to our house now and then.'
'I'm afraid we shall have to be consistent, Edith.'
'But do you think this is a WISE thing to do?'
'Wise?'
'You know what you once told me, about how necessary it was for a
novelist to study all sorts of people. How can Mr Reardon do this
if he shuts himself up in the house? I should have thought he
would find it necessary to make new acquaintances.'
'As I said,' returned Amy, 'it won't be always like this. For the
present, Edwin has quite enough "material."'
She spoke distantly; it irritated her to have to invent excuses
for the sacrifice she had just imposed on herself. Edith sipped
the tea which had been offered her, and for a minute kept
silence.
'When will Mr Reardon's next book be published?' she asked at
length.
'I'm sure I don't know. Not before the spring.'
'I shall look so anxiously for it. Whenever I meet new people I
always turn the conversation to novels, just for the sake of
asking them if they know your husband's books.'
She laughed merrily.
'Which is seldom the case, I should think,' said Amy, with a
smile of indifference.
'Well, my dear, you don't expect ordinary novel-readers to know
about Mr Reardon. I wish my acquaintances were a better kind of
people; then, of course, I should hear of his books more often.
But one has to make the best of such society as offers. If you
and your husband forsake me, I shall feel it a sad loss; I shall
indeed.'
Amy gave a quick glance at the speaker's face.
'Oh, we must be friends just the same,' she said, more naturally
than she had spoken hitherto. 'But don't ask us to come and dine
just now. All through this winter we shall be very busy, both of
us. Indeed, we have decided not to accept any invitations at
all.'
'Then, so long as you let me come here now and then, I must give
in. I promise not to trouble you with any more complaining. But
how you can live such a life I don't know. I consider myself more
of a reader than women generally are, and I should be mortally
offended if anyone called me frivolous; but I must have a good
deal of society. Really and truly, I can't live without it.'
'No?' said Amy, with a smile which meant more than Edith could
interpret. It seemed slightly condescending.
'There's no knowing; perhaps if I had married a literary man---'
She paused, smiling and musing. 'But then I haven't, you see.'
She laughed. 'Albert is anything but a bookworm, as you know.'
'You wouldn't wish him to be.'
'Oh no! Not a bookworm. To be sure, we suit each other very well
indeed. He likes society just as much as I do. It would be the
death of him if he didn't spend three-quarters of every day with
lively people.'
'That's rather a large portion. But then you count yourself among
the lively ones.'
They exchanged looks, and laughed together.
'Of course you think me rather silly to want to talk so much with
silly people,' Edith went on. 'But then there's generally some
amusement to be got, you know. I don't take life quite so
seriously as you do. People are people, after all; it's good fun
to see how they live and hear how they talk.'
Amy felt that she was playing a sorry part. She thought of sour
grapes, and of the fox who had lost his tail. Worst of all,
perhaps Edith suspected the truth. She began to make inquiries
about common acquaintances, and fell into an easier current of
gossip.
A quarter of an hour after the visitor's departure Reardon came
back. Amy had guessed aright; the necessity of selling his books
weighed upon him so that for the present he could do nothing. The
evening was spent gloomily, with very little conversation.
Next day came the bookseller to make his inspection. Reardon had
chosen out and ranged upon a table nearly a hundred volumes. With
a few exceptions, they had been purchased second-hand. The
tradesman examined them rapidly.
'What do you ask?' he inquired, putting his head aside.
'I prefer that you should make an offer,' Reardon replied, with
the helplessness of one who lives remote from traffic.
'I can't say more than two pounds ten.'
'That is at the rate of sixpence a volume---?'
'To me that's about the average value of books like these.'
Perhaps the offer was a fair one; perhaps it was not. Reardon had
neither time nor spirit to test the possibilities of the market;
he was ashamed to betray his need by higgling.
'I'll take it,' he said, in a matter-of-fact voice.
A messenger was sent for the books that afternoon. He stowed them
skilfully in two bags, and carried them downstairs to a cart that
was waiting.
Reardon looked at the gaps left on his shelves. Many of those
vanished volumes were dear old friends to him; he could have told
you where he had picked them up and when; to open them recalled a
past moment of intellectual growth, a mood of hope or
despondency, a stage of struggle. In most of them his name was
written, and there were often pencilled notes in the margin. Of
course he had chosen from among the most valuable he possessed;
such a multitude must else have been sold to make this sum of two
pounds ten. Books are cheap, you know. At need, one can buy a
Homer for fourpence, a Sophocles for sixpence. It was not rubbish
that he had accumulated at so small expenditure, but the library
of a poor student--battered bindings, stained pages, supplanted
editions. He loved his books, but there was something he loved
more, and when Amy glanced at him with eyes of sympathy he broke
into a cheerful laugh.
'I'm only sorry they have gone for so little. Tell me when the
money is nearly at an end again, and you shall have more. It's
all right; the novel will be done soon.'
And that night he worked until twelve o'clock, doggedly,
fiercely.
The next day was Sunday. As a rule he made it a day of rest, and
almost perforce, for the depressing influence of Sunday in London
made work too difficult. Then, it was the day on which he either
went to see his own particular friends or was visited by them.
'Do you expect anyone this evening?' Amy inquired.
'Biffen will look in, I dare say. Perhaps Milvain.'
'I think I shall take Willie to mother's. I shall be back before
eight.'
'Amy, don't say anything about the books.'
'No, no.'
'I suppose they always ask you when we think of removing over the
way?'
He pointed in a direction that suggested Marylebone Workhouse.
Amy tried to laugh, but a woman with a child in her arms has no
keen relish for such jokes.
'I don't talk to them about our affairs,' she said.
'That's best.'
She left home about three o'clock, the servant going with her to
carry the child.
At five a familiar knock sounded through the flat; it was a heavy
rap followed by half-a-dozen light ones, like a reverberating
echo, the last stroke scarcely audible. Reardon laid down his
book, but kept his pipe in his mouth, and went to the door. A
tall, thin man stood there, with a slouch hat and long grey
overcoat. He shook hands silently, hung his hat in the passage,
and came forward into the study.
His name was Harold Biffen, and, to judge from his appearance, he
did not belong to the race of common mortals. His excessive
meagreness would all but have qualified him to enter an
exhibition in the capacity of living skeleton, and the garments
which hung upon this framework would perhaps have sold for
three-and-sixpence at an old-clothes dealer's. But the man was
superior to these accidents of flesh and raiment. He had a fine
face: large, gentle eyes, nose slightly aquiline, small and
delicate mouth. Thick black hair fell to his coat-collar; he wore
a heavy moustache and a full beard. In his gait there was a
singular dignity; only a man of cultivated mind and graceful
character could move and stand as he did.
His first act on entering the room was to take from his pocket a
pipe, a pouch, a little tobacco-stopper, and a box of matches,
all of which he arranged carefully on a corner of the central
table. Then he drew forward a chair and seated himself.
'Take your top-coat off;' said Reardon.
'Thanks, not this evening.'
'Why the deuce not?'
'Not this evening, thanks.'
The reason, as soon as Reardon sought for it, was obvious. Biffen
had no ordinary coat beneath the other. To have referred to this
fact would have been indelicate; the novelist of course
understood it, and smiled, but with no mirth.
'Let me have your Sophocles,' were the visitor's next words.
Reardon offered him a volume of the Oxford Pocket Classics.
'I prefer the Wunder, please.'
'It's gone, my boy.'
'Gone?'
'Wanted a little cash.'
Biffen uttered a sound in which remonstrance and sympathy were
blended.
'I'm sorry to hear that; very sorry. Well, this must do. Now, I
want to know how you scan this chorus in the "Oedipus Rex."'
Reardon took the volume, considered, and began to read aloud with
metric emphasis.
'Choriambics, eh?' cried the other. 'Possible, of course; but
treat them as Ionics a minore with an anacrusis, and see if they
don't go better.'
He involved himself in terms of pedantry, and with such delight
that his eyes gleamed. Having delivered a technical lecture, he
began to read in illustration, producing quite a different effect
from that of the rhythm as given by his friend. And the reading
was by no means that of a pedant, rather of a poet.
For half an hour the two men talked Greek metres as if they lived
in a world where the only hunger known could be satisfied by
grand or sweet cadences.
They had first met in an amusing way. Not long after the
publication of his book 'On Neutral Ground' Reardon was spending
a week at Hastings. A rainy day drove him to the circulating
library, and as he was looking along the shelves for something
readable a voice near at hand asked the attendant if he had
anything 'by Edwin Reardon.' The novelist turned in astonishment;
that any casual mortal should inquire for his books seemed
incredible. Of course there was nothing by that author in the
library, and he who had asked the question walked out again. On
the morrow Reardon encountered this same man at a lonely part of
the shore; he looked at him, and spoke a word or two of common
civility; they got into conversation, with the result that Edwin
told the story of yesterday. The stranger introduced himself as
Harold Biffen, an author in a small way, and a teacher whenever
he could get pupils; an abusive review had interested him in
Reardon's novels, but as yet he knew nothing of them but the
names.
Their tastes were found to be in many respects sympathetic, and
after returning to London they saw each other frequently. Biffen
was always in dire poverty, and lived in the oddest places; he
had seen harder trials than even Reardon himself. The teaching by
which he partly lived was of a kind quite unknown to the
respectable tutorial world. In these days of examinations,
numbers of men in a poor position--clerks chiefly--conceive a
hope that by 'passing' this, that, or the other formal test they
may open for themselves a new career. Not a few such persons
nourish preposterous ambitions; there are warehouse clerks
privately preparing (without any means or prospect of them) for a
call to the Bar, drapers' assistants who 'go in' for the
preliminary examination of the College of Surgeons, and untaught
men innumerable who desire to procure enough show of education to
be eligible for a curacy. Candidates of this stamp frequently
advertise in the newspapers for cheap tuition, or answer
advertisements which are intended to appeal to them; they pay
from sixpence to half-a-crown an hour--rarely as much as the
latter sum. Occasionally it happened that Harold Biffen had three
or four such pupils in hand, and extraordinary stories he could
draw from his large experience in this sphere.
Then as to his authorship.--But shortly after the discussion of
Greek metres he fell upon the subject of his literary projects,
and, by no means for the first time, developed the theory on
which he worked.
'I have thought of a new way of putting it. What I really aim at
is an absolute realism in the sphere of the ignobly decent. The
field, as I understand it, is a new one; I don't know any writer
who has treated ordinary vulgar life with fidelity and
seriousness. Zola writes deliberate tragedies; his vilest figures
become heroic from the place they fill in a strongly imagined
drama. I want to deal with the essentially unheroic, with the
day-to-day life of that vast majority of people who are at the
mercy of paltry circumstance. Dickens understood the possibility
of such work, but his tendency to melodrama on the one hand, and
his humour on the other, prevented him from thinking of it. An
instance, now. As I came along by Regent's Park half an hour ago
a man and a girl were walking close in front of me, love-making;
I passed them slowly and heard a good deal of their talk--it was
part of the situation that they should pay no heed to a
stranger's proximity. Now, such a love-scene as that has
absolutely never been written down; it was entirely decent, yet
vulgar to the nth power. Dickens would have made it ludicrous--a
gross injustice. Other men who deal with low-class life would
perhaps have preferred idealising it--an absurdity. For my own
part, I am going to reproduce it verbatim, without one single
impertinent suggestion of any point of view save that of honest
reporting. The result will be something unutterably tedious.
Precisely. That is the stamp of the ignobly decent life. If it
were anything but tedious it would be untrue. I speak, of course,
of its effect upon the ordinary reader.'
'I couldn't do it,' said Reardon.
'Certainly you couldn't. You--well, you are a psychological
realist in the sphere of culture. You are impatient of vulgar
circumstances.'
'In a great measure because my life has been martyred by them.'
'And for that very same reason I delight in them,' cried Biffen.
'You are repelled by what has injured you; I am attracted by it.
This divergence is very interesting; but for that, we should have
resembled each other so closely. You know that by temper we are
rabid idealists, both of us.'
'I suppose so.'
'But let me go on. I want, among other things, to insist upon the
fateful power of trivial incidents. No one has yet dared to do
this seriously. It has often been done in farce, and that's why
farcical writing so often makes one melancholy. You know my stock
instances of the kind of thing I mean. There was poor Allen, who
lost the most valuable opportunity of his life because he hadn't
a clean shirt to put on; and Williamson, who would probably have
married that rich girl but for the grain of dust that got into
his eye, and made him unable to say or do anything at the
critical moment.'
Reardon burst into a roar of laughter.
'There you are!' cried Biffen, with friendly annoyance. 'You take
the conventional view. If you wrote of these things you would
represent them as laughable.'
'They are laughable,' asserted the other, 'however serious to the
persons concerned. The mere fact of grave issues in life
depending on such paltry things is monstrously ludicrous. Life is
a huge farce, and the advantage of possessing a sense of humour
is that it enables one to defy fate with mocking laughter.'
'That's all very well, but it isn't an original view. I am not
lacking in sense of humour, but I prefer to treat these aspects
of life from an impartial standpoint. The man who laughs takes
the side of a cruel omnipotence, if one can imagine such a thing.
I want to take no side at all; simply to say, Look, this is the
kind of thing that happens.'
'I admire your honesty, Biffen,' said Reardon, sighing. 'You will
never sell work of this kind, yet you have the courage to go on
with it because you believe in it.'
'I don't know; I may perhaps sell it some day.'
'In the meantime,' said Reardon, laying down his pipe, 'suppose
we eat a morsel of something. I'm rather hungry.'
In the early days of his marriage Reardon was wont to offer the
friends who looked in on Sunday evening a substantial supper; by
degrees the meal had grown simpler, until now, in the depth of
his poverty, he made no pretence of hospitable entertainment. It
was only because he knew that Biffen as often as not had nothing
whatever to eat that he did not hesitate to offer him a slice of
bread and butter and a cup of tea. They went into the back room,
and over the Spartan fare continued to discuss aspects of
fiction.
'I shall never,' said Biffen, 'write anything like a dramatic
scene. Such things do happen in life, but so very rarely that
they are nothing to my purpose. Even when they happen,
by-the-bye, it is in a shape that would be useless to the
ordinary novelist; he would have to cut away this circumstance,
and add that. Why? I should like to know. Such conventionalism
results from stage necessities. Fiction hasn't yet outgrown the
influence of the stage on which it originated. Whatever a man
writes FOR EFFECT is wrong and bad.'
'Only in your view. There may surely exist such a thing as the
ART of fiction.'
'It is worked out. We must have a rest from it. You, now--the
best things you have done are altogether in conflict with
novelistic conventionalities. It was because that blackguard
review of "On Neutral Ground" clumsily hinted this that I first
thought of you with interest. No, no; let us copy life. When the
man and woman are to meet for a great scene of passion, let it
all be frustrated by one or other of them having a bad cold in
the head, and so on. Let the pretty girl get a disfiguring pimple
on her nose just before the ball at which she is going to shine.
Show the numberless repulsive features of common decent life.
Seriously, coldly; not a hint of facetiousness, or the thing
becomes different.'
About eight o'clock Reardon heard his wife's knock at the door.
On opening he saw not only Amy and the servant, the latter
holding Willie in her arms, but with them Jasper Milvain.
'I have been at Mrs Yule's,' Jasper explained as he came in.
'Have you anyone here?'
'Biffen.'
'Ah, then we'll discuss realism.'
'That's over for the evening. Greek metres also.'
'Thank Heaven!'
The three men seated themselves with joking and laughter, and the
smoke of their pipes gathered thickly in the little room. It was
half an hour before Amy joined them. Tobacco was no disturbance
to her, and she enjoyed the kind of talk that was held on these
occasions; but it annoyed her that she could no longer play the
hostess at a merry supper-table.
'Why ever are you sitting in your overcoat, Mr Biffen?' were her
first words when she entered.
'Please excuse me, Mrs Reardon. It happens to be more convenient
this evening.'
She was puzzled, but a glance from her husband warned her not to
pursue the subject.
Biffen always behaved to Amy with a sincerity of respect which
had made him a favourite with her. To him, poor fellow, Reardon
seemed supremely blessed. That a struggling man of letters should
have been able to marry, and such a wife, was miraculous in
Biffen's eyes. A woman's love was to him the unattainable ideal;
already thirty-five years old, he had no prospect of ever being
rich enough to assure himself a daily dinner; marriage was wildly
out of the question. Sitting here, he found it very difficult not
to gaze at Amy with uncivil persistency. Seldom in his life had
he conversed with educated women, and the sound of this clear
voice was always more delightful to him than any music.
Amy took a place near to him, and talked in her most charming way
of such things as she knew interested him. Biffen's deferential
attitude as he listened and replied was in strong contrast with
the careless ease which marked Jasper Milvain. The realist would
never smoke in Amy's presence, but Jasper puffed jovial clouds
even whilst she was conversing with him.
'Whelpdale came to see me last night,' remarked Milvain,
presently. 'His novel is refused on all hands. He talks of
earning a living as a commission agent for some sewing-machine
people.'
'I can't understand how his book should be positively refused,'
said Reardon. 'The last wasn't altogether a failure.'
'Very nearly. And this one consists of nothing but a series of
conversations between two people. It is really a dialogue, not a
novel at all. He read me some twenty pages, and I no longer
wondered that he couldn't sell it.'
'Oh, but it has considerable merit,' put in Biffen. 'The talk is
remarkably true.'
'But what's the good of talk that leads to nothing?' protested
Jasper.
'It's a bit of real life.'
'Yes, but it has no market value. You may write what you like, so
long as people are willing to read you. Whelpdale's a clever
fellow, but he can't hit a practical line.'
'Like some other people I have heard of;' said Reardon, laughing.
'But the odd thing is, that he always strikes one as practical-
minded. Don't you feel that, Mrs Reardon?'
He and Amy talked for a few minutes, and Reardon, seemingly lost
in meditation, now and then observed them from the corner of his
eye.
At eleven o'clock husband and wife were alone again.
'You don't mean to say,' exclaimed Amy, 'that Biffen has sold his
coat?'
'Or pawned it.'
'But why not the overcoat?'
'Partly, I should think, because it's the warmer of the two;
partly, perhaps, because the other would fetch more.'
'That poor man will die of starvation, some day, Edwin.'
'I think it not impossible.'
'I hope you gave him something to eat?'
'Oh yes. But I could see he didn't like to take as much as he
wanted. I don't think of him with so much pity as I used that's a
result of suffering oneself.'
The last volume was written in fourteen days. In this achievement
Reardon rose almost to heroic pitch, for he had much to contend
with beyond the mere labour of composition. Scarcely had he begun
when a sharp attack of lumbago fell upon him; for two or three
days it was torture to support himself at the desk, and he moved
about like a cripple. Upon this ensued headaches, sore-throat,
general enfeeblement. And before the end of the fortnight it was
necessary to think of raising another small sum of money; he took
his watch to the pawnbroker's (you can imagine that it would not
stand as security for much), and sold a few more books. All this
notwithstanding, here was the novel at length finished. When he
had written 'The End' he lay back, closed his eyes, and let time
pass in blankness for a quarter of an hour.
It remained to determine the title. But his brain refused another
effort; after a few minutes' feeble search he simply took the
name of the chief female character, Margaret Home. That must do
for the book. Already, with the penning of the last word, all its
scenes, personages, dialogues had slipped away into oblivion; he
knew and cared nothing more about them.
'Amy, you will have to correct the proofs for me. Never as long
as I live will I look upon a page of this accursed novel. It has
all but killed me.'
'The point is,' replied Amy, 'that here we have it complete. Pack
it up and take it to the publishers' to-morrow morning.'
'I will.'
'And--you will ask them to advance you a few pounds?'
'I must.'
But that undertaking was almost as hard to face as a rewriting of
the last volume would have been. Reardon had such superfluity of
sensitiveness that, for his own part, he would far rather have
gone hungry than ask for money not legally his due. To-day there
was no choice. In the ordinary course of business it would be
certainly a month before he heard the publishers' terms, and
perhaps the Christmas season might cause yet more delay. Without
borrowing, he could not provide for the expenses of more than
another week or two.
His parcel under his arm, he entered the ground-floor office, and
desired to see that member of the firm with whom he had
previously had personal relations. This gentleman was not in
town; he would be away for a few days. Reardon left the
manuscript, and came out into the street again.
He crossed, and looked up at the publishers' windows from the
opposite pavement. 'Do they suspect in what wretched
circumstances I am? Would it surprise them to know all that
depends upon that budget of paltry scribbling? I suppose not; it
must be a daily experience with them. Well, I must write a
begging letter.'
It was raining and windy. He went slowly homewards, and was on
the point of entering the public door of the flats when his
uneasiness became so great that he turned and walked past. If he
went in, he must at once write his appeal for money, and he felt
that he could not. The degradation seemed too great.
Was there no way of getting over the next few weeks? Rent, of
course, would be due at Christmas, but that payment might be
postponed; it was only a question of buying food and fuel. Amy
had offered to ask her mother for a few pounds; it would be
cowardly to put this task upon her now that he had promised to
meet the difficulty himself. What man in all London could and
would lend him money? He reviewed the list of his acquaintances,
but there was only one to whom he could appeal with the slightest
hope--that was Carter.
Half an hour later he entered that same hospital door through
which, some years ago, he had passed as a half-starved applicant
for work. The matron met him.
'Is Mr Carter here?'
'No, sir. But we expect him any minute. Will you wait?'
He entered the familiar office, and sat down. At the table where
he had been wont to work, a young clerk was writing. If only all
the events of the last few years could be undone, and he, with no
soul dependent upon him, be once more earning his pound a week in
this room! What a happy man he was in those days!
Nearly half an hour passed. It is the common experience of
beggars to have to wait. Then Carter came in with quick step; he
wore a heavy ulster of the latest fashion, new gloves, a
resplendent silk hat; his cheeks were rosy from the east wind.
'Ha, Reardon! How do? how do? Delighted to see you!'
'Are you very busy?'
'Well, no, not particularly. A few cheques to sign, and we're
just getting out our Christmas appeals. You remember?'
He laughed gaily. There was a remarkable freedom from
snobbishness in this young man; the fact of Reardon's
intellectual superiority had long ago counteracted Carter's
social prejudices.
'I should like to have a word with you.'
'Right you are!'
They went into a small inner room. Reardon's pulse beat at fever-
rate; his tongue was cleaving to his palate.
'What is it, old man?' asked the secretary, seating himself and
flinging one of his legs over the other. 'You look rather seedy,
do you know. Why the deuce don't you and your wife look us up now
and then?'
'I've had a hard pull to finish my novel.'
'Finished, is it? I'm glad to hear that. When'll it be out? I'll
send scores of people to Mudie's after it.
'Thanks; but I don't think much of it, to tell you the truth.'
'Oh, we know what that means.'
Reardon was talking like an automaton. It seemed to him that he
turned screws and pressed levers for the utterance of his next
words.
'I may as well say at once what I have come for. Could you lend
me ten pounds for a month--in fact, until I get the money for my
book?'
The secretary's countenance fell, though not to that expression
of utter coldness which would have come naturally under the
circumstances to a great many vivacious men. He seemed genuinely
embarrassed.
'By Jove! I--confound it! To tell you the truth, I haven't ten
pounds to lend. Upon my word, I haven't, Reardon! These infernal
housekeeping expenses! I don't mind telling you, old man, that
Edith and I have been pushing the pace rather.' He laughed, and
thrust his hands down into his trousers-pockets. 'We pay such a
darned rent, you know--hundred and twenty-five. We've only just
been saying we should have to draw it mild for the rest of the
winter. But I'm infernally sorry; upon my word I am.'
'And I am sorry to have annoyed you by the unseasonable request.'
'Devilish seasonable, Reardon, I assure you!' cried the
secretary, and roared at his joke. It put him into a better
temper than ever, and he said at length: 'I suppose a fiver
wouldn't be much use?--For a month, you say?--1 might manage a
fiver, I think.'
'It would be very useful. But on no account if ---'
'No, no; I could manage a fiver, for a month. Shall I give you a
cheque?'
'I'm ashamed ---'
'Not a bit of it! I'll go and write the cheque.'
Reardon's face was burning. Of the conversation that followed
when Carter again presented himself he never recalled a word. The
bit of paper was crushed together in his hand. Out in the street
again, he all but threw it away, dreaming for the moment that it
was a 'bus ticket or a patent medicine bill.
He reached home much after the dinner-hour. Amy was surprised at
his long absence.
'Got anything?' she asked.
'Yes.'
It was half his intention to deceive her, to say that the
publishers had advanced him five pounds. But that would be his
first word of untruth to Amy, and why should he be guilty of it?
He told her all that had happened. The result of this frankness
was something that he had not anticipated; Amy exhibited profound
vexation.
'Oh, you SHOULDN'T have done that!' she exclaimed. 'Why didn't
you come home and tell me? I would have gone to mother at once.'
'But does it matter?'
'Of course it does,' she replied sharply. 'Mr Carter will tell
his wife, and how pleasant that is?'
'I never thought of that. And perhaps it wouldn't have seemed to
me so annoying as it does to you.'
'Very likely not.'
She turned abruptly away, and stood at a distance in gloomy
muteness.
'Well,' she said at length, 'there's no helping it now. Come and
have your dinner.'
'You have taken away my appetite.'
'Nonsense! I suppose you're dying of hunger.'
They had a very uncomfortable meal, exchanging few words. On
Amy's face was a look more resembling bad temper than anything
Reardon had ever seen there. After dinner he went and sat alone
in the study. Amy did not come near him. He grew stubbornly
angry; remembering the pain he had gone through, he felt that
Amy's behaviour to him was cruel. She must come and speak when
she would.
At six o'clock she showed her face in the doorway and asked if he
would come to tea.
'Thank you,' he replied, 'I had rather stay here.'
'As you please.'
And he sat alone until about nine. It was only then he
recollected that he must send a note to the publishers, calling
their attention to the parcel he had left. He wrote it, and
closed with a request that they would let him hear as soon as
they conveniently could. As he was putting on his hat and coat to
go out and post the letter Amy opened the dining-room door.
'You're going out?'
'Yes.'
'Shall you be long?'
'I think not.'
He was away only a few minutes. On returning he went first of all
into the study, but the thought of Amy alone in the other room
would not let him rest. He looked in and saw that she was sitting
without a fire.
'You can't stay here in the cold, Amy.'
'I'm afraid I must get used to it,' she replied, affecting to be
closely engaged upon some sewing.
That strength of character which it had always delighted him to
read in her features was become an ominous hardness. He felt his
heart sink as he looked at her.
'Is poverty going to have the usual result in our case?' he
asked, drawing nearer.
'I never pretended that I could be indifferent to it.'
'Still, don't you care to try and resist it?'
She gave no answer. As usual in conversation with an aggrieved
woman it was necessary to go back from the general to the
particular.
'I'm afraid,' he said, 'that the Carters already knew pretty well
how things were going with us.'
'That's a very different thing. But when it comes to asking them
for money--'
'I'm very sorry. I would rather have done anything if I had known
how it would annoy you.'
'If we have to wait a month, five pounds will be very little use
to us.'
She detailed all manner of expenses that had to be met--outlay
there was no possibility of avoiding so long as their life was
maintained on its present basis.
'However, you needn't trouble any more about it. I'll see to it.
Now you are free from your book try to rest.'
'Come and sit by the fire. There's small chance of rest for me if
we are thinking unkindly of each other.'
A doleful Christmas. Week after week went by and Reardon knew
that Amy must have exhausted the money he had given her. But she
made no more demands upon him, and necessaries were paid for in
the usual way. He suffered from a sense of humiliation; sometimes
he found it difficult to look in his wife's face.
When the publishers' letter came it contained an offer of
seventy-five pounds for the copyright of 'Margaret Home,'
twenty-five more to be paid if the sale in three-volume form
should reach a certain number of copies.
Here was failure put into unmistakable figures. Reardon said to
himself that it was all over with his profession of authorship.
The book could not possibly succeed even to the point of
completing his hundred pounds; it would meet with universal
contempt, and indeed deserved nothing better.
'Shall you accept this?' asked Amy, after dreary silence.
'No one else would offer terms as good.'
'Will they pay you at once?'
'I must ask them to.'
Well, it was seventy-five pounds in hand. The cheque came as soon
as it was requested, and Reardon's face brightened for the
moment. Blessed money! root of all good, until the world invent
some saner economy.
'How much do you owe your mother?' he inquired, without looking
at Amy.
'Six pounds,' she answered coldly.
'And five to Carter; and rent, twelve pounds ten. We shall have a
matter of fifty pounds to go on with.'
The prudent course was so obvious that he marvelled at Amy's
failing to suggest it. For people in their circumstances to be
paying a rent of fifty pounds when a home could be found for half
the money was recklessness; there would be no difficulty in
letting the flat for this last year of their lease, and the cost
of removal would be trifling. The mental relief of such a change
might enable him to front with courage a problem in any case very
difficult, and, as things were, desperate. Three months ago, in a
moment of profoundest misery, he had proposed this step; courage
failed him to speak of it again, Amy's look and voice were too
vivid in his memory. Was she not capable of such a sacrifice for
his sake? Did she prefer to let him bear all the responsibility
of whatever might result from a futile struggle to keep up
appearances?
Between him and her there was no longer perfect confidence. Her
silence meant reproach, and--whatever might have been the case
before--there was no doubt that she now discussed him with her
mother, possibly with other people. It was not likely that she
concealed his own opinion of the book he had just finished; all
their acquaintances would be prepared to greet its publication
with private scoffing or with mournful shaking of the head. His
feeling towards Amy entered upon a new phase. The stability of
his love was a source of pain; condemning himself, he felt at the
same time that he was wronged. A coldness which was far from
representing the truth began to affect his manner and speech, and
Amy did not seem to notice it, at all events she made no kind of
protest. They no longer talked of the old subjects, but of those
mean concerns of material life which formerly they had agreed to
dismiss as quickly as possible. Their relations to each other--
not long ago an inexhaustible topic--would not bear spoken
comment; both were too conscious of the danger-signal when they
looked that way.
In the time of waiting for the publishers' offer, and now again
when he was asking himself how he should use the respite granted
him, Reardon spent his days at the British Museum. He could not
read to much purpose, but it was better to sit here among
strangers than seem to be idling under Amy's glance. Sick of
imaginative writing, he turned to the studies which had always
been most congenial, and tried to shape out a paper or two like
those he had formerly disposed of to editors. Among his unused
material lay a mass of notes he had made in a reading of Diogenes
Laertius, and it seemed to him now that he might make something
salable out of these anecdotes of the philosophers. In a happier
mood he could have written delightfully on such a subject--not
learnedly, but in the strain of a modern man whose humour and
sensibility find free play among the classic ghosts; even now he
was able to recover something of the light touch which had given
value to his published essays.
Meanwhile the first number of The Current had appeared, and
Jasper Milvain had made a palpable hit. Amy spoke very often of
the article called 'Typical Readers,' and her interest in its
author was freely manifested. Whenever a mention of Jasper came
under her notice she read it Out to her husband. Reardon smiled
and appeared glad, but he did not care to discuss Milvain with
the same frankness as formerly.
One evening at the end of January he told Amy what he had been
writing at the Museum, and asked her if she would care to hear it
read.
'I began to wonder what you were doing,' she replied.
'Then why didn't you ask me?'
'I was rather afraid to.'
'Why afraid?'
'It would have seemed like reminding you that--you know what I
mean.'
'That a month or two more will see us at the same crisis again.
Still, I had rather you had shown an interest in my doings.'
After a pause Amy asked:
'Do you think you can get a paper of this kind accepted?'
'It isn't impossible. I think it's rather well done. Let me read
you a page--'
'Where will you send it?' she interrupted.
'To The Wayside.'
'Why not try The Current? Ask Milvain to introduce you to Mr
Fadge. They pay much better, you know.'
'But this isn't so well suited for Fadge. And I much prefer to be
independent, as long as it's possible.'
'That's one of your faults, Edwin,' remarked his wife, mildly.
'It's only the strongest men that can make their way
independently. You ought to use every means that offers.'
'Seeing that I am so weak?'
'I didn't think it would offend you. I only meant---'
'No, no; you are quite right. Certainly, I am one of the men who
need all the help they can get. But I assure you, this thing
won't do for The Current.'
'What a pity you will go hack to those musty old times! Now think
of that article of Milvain's. If only you could do something of
that kind! What do people care about Diogenes and his tub and his
lantern?'
'My dear girl, Diogenes Laertius had neither tub nor lantern,
that I know of. You are making a mistake; but it doesn't matter.'
'No, I don't think it does.' The caustic note was not very
pleasant on Amy's lips. 'Whoever he was, the mass of readers will
be frightened by his name.'
'Well, we have to recognise that the mass of readers will never
care for anything I do.'
'You will never convince me that you couldn't write in a popular
way if you tried. I'm sure you are quite as clever as Milvain-- '
Reardon made an impatient gesture.
'Do leave Milvain aside for a little! He and I are as unlike as
two
men could be. What's the use of constantly comparing us?'
Amy looked at him. He had never spoken to her so brusquely.
'How can you say that I am constantly comparing you?'
'If not in spoken words, then in your thoughts.'
'That's not a very nice thing to say, Edwin.'
'You make it so unmistakable, Amy. What I mean is, that you are
always regretting the difference between him and me. You lament
that I can't write in that attractive way. Well, I lament it
myself--for your sake. I wish I had Milvain's peculiar talent, so
that I could get reputation and money. But I haven't, and there's
an end of it. It irritates a man to be perpetually told of his
disadvantages.'
'I will never mention Milvain's name again,' said Amy coldly.
'Now that's ridiculous, and you know it.'
'I feel the same about your irritation. I can't see that I have
given any cause for it.'
'Then we'll talk no more of the matter.'
Reardon threw his manuscript aside and opened a book. Amy never
asked him to resume his intention of reading what he had written.
However, the paper was accepted. It came out in The Wayside for
March, and Reardon received seven pounds ten for it. By that time
he had written another thing of the same gossipy kind, suggested
by Pliny's Letters. The pleasant occupation did him good, but
there was no possibility of pursuing this course. 'Margaret Home'
would be published in April; he might get the five-and-twenty
pounds contingent upon a certain sale, yet that could in no case
be paid until the middle of the year, and long before then he
would be penniless. His respite drew to an end.
But now he took counsel of no one; as far as it was possible he
lived in solitude, never seeing those of his acquaintances who
were outside the literary world, and seldom even his colleagues.
Milvain was so busy that he had only been able to look in twice
or thrice since Christmas, and Reardon nowadays never went to
Jasper's lodgings.
He had the conviction that all was over with the happiness of his
married life, though how the events which were to express this
ruin would shape themselves he could not foresee. Amy was
revealing that aspect of her character to which he had been
blind, though a practical man would have perceived it from the
first; so far from helping him to support poverty, she perhaps
would even refuse to share it with him. He knew that she was
slowly drawing apart; already there was a divorce between their
minds, and he tortured himself in uncertainty as to how far he
retained her affections. A word of tenderness, a caress, no
longer met with response from her; her softest mood was that of
mere comradeship. All the warmth of her nature was expended upon
the child; Reardon learnt how easy it is for a mother to forget
that both parents have a share in her offspring.
He was beginning to dislike the child. But for Willie's existence
Amy would still love him with undivided heart; not, perhaps, so
passionately as once, but still with lover's love. And Amy
understoed --or, at all events, remarked--this change in him.
She was aware that he seldom asked a question about Willie, and
that he listened with indifference when she spoke of the little
fellow's progress. In part offended, she was also in part
pleased.
But for the child, mere poverty, he said to himself, should never
have sundered them. In the strength of his passion he could have
overcome all her disappointments; and, indeed, but for that new
care, he would most likely never have fallen to this extremity of
helplessness. It is natural in a weak and sensitive man to dream
of possibilities disturbed by the force of circumstance. For one
hour which he gave to conflict with his present difficulties,
Reardon spent many in contemplation of the happiness that might
have been.
Even yet, it needed but a little money to redeem all. Amy had no
extravagant aspirations; a home of simple refinement and freedom
from anxiety would restore her to her nobler self. How could he
find fault with her? She knew nothing of such sordid life as he
had gone through, and to lack money for necessities seemed to her
degrading beyond endurance. Why, even the ordinary artisan's wife
does not suffer such privations as hers at the end of the past
year. For lack of that little money his life must be ruined. Of
late he had often thought about the rich uncle, John Yule, who
might perhaps leave something to Amy; but the hope was so
uncertain. And supposing such a thing were to happen; would it be
perfectly easy to live upon his wife's bounty--perhaps exhausting
a small capital, so that, some years hence, their position would
be no better than before? Not long ago, he could have taken
anything from Amy's hand; would it be so simple since the change
that had come between them?
Having written his second magazine-article (it was rejected by
two editors, and he had no choice but to hold it over until
sufficient time had elapsed to allow of his again trying The
Wayside), he saw that he must perforce plan another novel. But
this time he was resolute not to undertake three volumes. The
advertisements informed him that numbers of authors were
abandoning that procrustean system; hopeless as he was, he might
as well try his chance with a book which could be written in a
few weeks. And why not a glaringly artificial story with a
sensational title? It could not be worse than what he had last
written.
So, without a word to Amy, he put aside his purely intellectual
work and began once more the search for a 'plot.' This was
towards the end of February. The proofs of 'Margaret Home' were
coming in day by day; Amy had offered to correct them, but after
all he preferred to keep his shame to himself as long as
possible, and with a hurried reading he dismissed sheet after
sheet. His imagination did not work the more happily for this
repugnant task; still, he hit at length upon a conception which
seemed absurd enough for the purpose before him. Whether he could
persevere with it even to the extent of one volume was very
doubtful. But it should not be said of him that he abandoned his
wife and child to penury without one effort of the kind that
Milvain and Amy herself had recommended.
Writing a page or two of manuscript daily, and with several
holocausts to retard him, he had done nearly a quarter of the
story when there came a note from Jasper telling of Mrs Milvain's
death. He handed it across the breakfast-table to Amy, and
watched her as she read it.
'I suppose it doesn't alter his position,' Amy remarked, without
much interest.
'I suppose not appreciably. He told me once his mother had a
sufficient income; but whatever she leaves will go to his
sisters, I should think. He has never said much to me.'
Nearly three weeks passed before they heard anything more from
Jasper himself; then he wrote, again from the country, saying
that he purposed bringing his sisters to live in London. Another
week, and one evening he appeared at the door.
A want of heartiness in Reardon's reception of him might have
been explained as gravity natural under the circumstances. But
Jasper had before this become conscious that he was not welcomed
here quite so cheerily as in the old days. He remarked it
distinctly on that evening when he accompanied Amy home from Mrs
Yule's; since then he had allowed his pressing occupations to be
an excuse for the paucity of his visits. It seemed to him
perfectly intelligible that Reardon, sinking into literary
insignificance, should grow cool to a man entering upon a
successful career; the vein of cynicism in Jasper enabled him to
pardon a weakness of this kind, which in some measure flattered
him. But he both liked and respected Reardon, and at present he
was in the mood to give expression to his warmer feelings.
'Your book is announced, I see,' he said with an accent of
pleasure, as soon as he had seated himself.
'I didn't know it.'
'Yes. "New novel by the author of 'On Neutral Ground.'" Down for
the sixteenth of April. And I have a proposal to make about it.
Will you let me ask Fadge to have it noticed in "Books of the
Month," in the May Current?'
'I strongly advise you to let it take its chance. The book isn't
worth special notice, and whoever undertook to review it for
Fadge would either have to lie, or stultify the magazine.'
Jasper turned to Amy.
'Now what is to be done with a man like this? What is one to say
to him, Mrs Reardon?'
'Edwin dislikes the book,' Amy replied, carelessly.
'That has nothing to do with the matter. We know quite well that
in anything he writes there'll be something for a well-disposed
reviewer to make a good deal of. If Fadge will let me, I should
do the thing myself.'
Neither Reardon nor his wife spoke.
'Of course,' went on Milvain, looking at the former, 'if you had
rather I left it alone--'
'I had much rather. Please don't say anything about it.'
There was an awkward silence. Amy broke it by saying:
'Are your sisters in town, Mr Milvain?'
'Yes. We came up two days ago. I found lodgings for them not far
from Mornington Road. Poor girls! they don't quite know where
they are, yet. Of course they will keep very quiet for a time,
then I must try to get friends for them. Well, they have one
already--your cousin, Miss Yule. She has already been to see
them.'
'I'm very glad of that.'
Amy took an opportunity of studying his face. There was again a
silence as if of constraint. Reardon, glancing at his wife, said
with hesitation:
'When they care to see other visitors, I'm sure Amy would be very
glad--'
'Certainly!' his wife added.
'Thank you very much. Of course I knew I could depend on Mrs
Reardon to show them kindness in that way. But let me speak
frankly of something. My sisters have made quite a friend of Miss
Yule, since she was down there last year. Wouldn't that'--he
turned to Amy--'cause you a little awkwardness?'
Amy had a difficulty in replying. She kept her eyes on the
ground.
'You have had no quarrel with your cousin,' remarked Reardon.
'None whatever. It's only my mother and my uncle.'
'I can't imagine Miss Yule having a quarrel with anyone,' said
Jasper. Then he added quickly: 'Well, things must shape
themselves naturally. We shall see. For the present they will be
fully occupied. Of course it's best that they should be. I shall
see them every day, and Miss Yule will come pretty often, I dare
say.'
Reardon caught Amy's eye, but at once looked away again.
'My word!' exclaimed Milvain, after a moment's meditation. 'It's
well this didn't happen a year ago. The girls have no income;
only a little cash to go on with. We shall have our work set.
It's a precious lucky thing that I have just got a sort of
footing.'
Reardon muttered an assent.
'And what are you doing now?' Jasper inquired suddenly.
'Writing a one-volume story.'
'I'm glad to hear that. Any special plan for its publication?'
'No.'
'Then why not offer it to Jedwood? He's publishing a series of
one-volume novels. You know of Jedwood, don't you? He was
Culpepper's manager; started business about half a year ago, and
it looks as if he would do well. He married that woman--what's
her name?--Who wrote "Mr Henderson's Wives"?'
'Never heard of it.'
'Nonsense!--Miss Wilkes, of course. Well, she married this fellow
Jedwood, and there was a great row about something or other
between him and her publishers. Mrs Boston Wright told me all
about it. An astonishing woman that; a cyclopaedia of the day's
small talk. I'm quite a favourite with her; she's promised to
help the girls all she can. Well, but I was talking about
Jedwood. Why not offer him this book of yours? He's eager to get
hold of the new writers. Advertises hugely; he has the whole back
page of The Study about every other week. I suppose Miss Wilkes's
profits are paying for it. He has just given Markland two hundred
pounds for a paltry little tale that would scarcely swell out to
a volume. Markland told me himself. You know that I've scraped an
acquaintance with him? Oh! I suppose I haven't seen you since
then. He's a dwarfish fellow with only one eye. Mrs Boston Wright
cries him up at every opportunity.'
'Who IS Mrs Boston Wright?' asked Reardon, laughing impatiently.
'Edits The English Girl, you know. She's had an extraordinary
life. Was born in Mauritius--no, Ceylon--I forget; some such
place. Married a sailor at fifteen. Was shipwrecked somewhere,
and only restored to life after terrific efforts;--her story
leaves it all rather vague. Then she turns up as a newspaper
correspondent at the Cape. Gave up that, and took to some kind of
farming, I forget where. Married again (first husband lost in
aforementioned shipwreck), this time a Baptist minister, and
began to devote herself to soup-kitchens in Liverpool. Husband
burned to death, somewhere. She's next discovered in the thick of
literary society in London. A wonderful woman, I assure you. Must
be nearly fifty, but she looks twenty-five.'
He paused, then added impulsively:
'Let me take you to one of her evenings--nine on Thursday. Do
persuade him, Mrs Reardon?'
Reardon shook his head.
'No, no. I should be horribly out of my element.'
'I can't see why. You would meet all sorts of well-known people;
those you ought to have met long ago. Better still, let me ask
her to send an invitation for both of you. I'm sure you'd like
her, Mrs Reardon. There's a good deal of humbug about her, it's
true, but some solid qualities as well. No one has a word to say
against her. And it's a splendid advertisement to have her for a
friend. She'll talk about your books and articles till all is
blue.'
Amy gave a questioning look at her husband. But Reardon moved in
an uncomfortable way.
'We'll see about it,' he said. 'Some day, perhaps.'
'Let me know whenever you feel disposed. But about Jedwood: I
happen to know a man who reads for him.'
'Heavens!' cried Reardon. 'Who don't you know?'
'The simplest thing in the world. At present it's a large part of
my business to make acquaintances. Why, look you; a man who has
to live by miscellaneous writing couldn't get on without a vast
variety of acquaintances. One's own brain would soon run dry; a
clever fellow knows how to use the brains of other people.'
Amy listened with an unconscious smile which expressed keen
interest.
'Oh,' pursued Jasper, 'when did you see Whelpdale last?'
'Haven't seen him for a long time.'
'You don't know what he's doing? The fellow has set up as a
"literary adviser." He has an advertisement in The Study every
week. "To Young Authors and Literary Aspirants"--something of the
kind. "Advice given on choice of subjects, MSS. read, corrected,
and recommended to publishers. Moderate terms." A fact! And
what's more, he made six guineas in the first fortnight; so he
says, at all events. Now that's one of the finest jokes I ever
heard. A man who can't get anyone to publish his own books makes
a living by telling other people how to write!'
'But it's a confounded swindle!'
'Oh, I don't know. He's capable of correcting the grammar of
"literary aspirants," and as for recommending to publishers--
well, anyone can recommend, I suppose.'
Reardon's indignation yielded to laughter.
'It's not impossible that he may thrive by this kind of thing.'
'Not at all,' assented Jasper.
Shortly after this he looked at his watch.
'I must be off, my friends. I have something to write before I
can go to my truckle-bed, and it'll take me three hours at least.
Good-bye, old man. Let me know when your story's finished, and
we'll talk about it. And think about Mrs Boston Wright; oh, and
about that review in The Current. I wish you'd let me do it. Talk
it over with your guide, philosopher, and friend.'
He indicated Amy, who laughed in a forced way.
When he was gone, the two sat without speaking for several
minutes.
'Do you care to make friends with those girls?' asked Reardon at
length.
'I suppose in decency I must call upon them?'
'I suppose so.'
'You may find them very agreeable.'
'Oh yes.'
They conversed with their own thoughts for a while. Then Reardon
burst out laughing.
'Well, there's the successful man, you see. Some day he'll live
in a mansion, and dictate literary opinions to the universe.'
'How has he offended you?'
'Offended me? Not at all. I am glad of his cheerful prospects.'
'Why should you refuse to go among those people? It might be good
for you in several ways.'
'If the chance had come when I was publishing my best work, I
dare say I shouldn't have refused. But I certainly shall not
present myself as the author of "Margaret Home," and the rubbish
I'm now writing.'
In the spring list of Mr Jedwood's publications, announcement was
made of a new work by Alfred Yule. It was called 'English Prose
in the Nineteenth Century,' and consisted of a number of essays
(several of which had already seen the light in periodicals)
strung into continuity. The final chapter dealt with contemporary
writers, more especially those who served to illustrate the
author's theme--that journalism is the destruction of prose
style: on certain popular writers of the day there was an
outpouring of gall which was not likely to be received as though
it were sweet ointment. The book met with rather severe treatment
in critical columns; it could scarcely be ignored (the safest
mode of attack when one's author has no expectant public), and
only the most skilful could write of it in a hostile spirit
without betraying that some of its strokes had told. An evening
newspaper which piqued itself on independence indulged in
laughing appreciation of the polemical chapter, and the next day
printed a scornful letter from a thinly-disguised correspondent
who assailed both book and reviewer. For the moment people talked
more of Alfred Yule than they had done since his memorable
conflict with Clement Fadge.
The publisher had hoped for this. Mr Jedwood was an energetic and
sanguine man, who had entered upon his business with a
determination to rival in a year or so the houses which had
slowly risen into commanding stability. He had no great capital,
but the stroke of fortune which had wedded him to a popular
novelist enabled him to count on steady profit from one source,
and boundless faith in his own judgment urged him to an initial
outlay which made the prudent shake their heads. He talked much
of 'the new era,' foresaw revolutions in publishing and
book-selling, planned every week a score of untried ventures
which should appeal to the democratic generation just maturing;
in the meantime, was ready to publish anything which seemed
likely to get talked about.
The May number of The Current, in its article headed 'Books of
the Month,' devoted about half a page to 'English Prose in the
Nineteenth Century.' This notice was a consummate example of the
flippant style of attack. Flippancy, the most hopeless form of
intellectual vice, was a characterising note of Mr Fadge's
periodical; his monthly comments on publications were already
looked for with eagerness by that growing class of readers who
care for nothing but what can be made matter of ridicule. The
hostility of other reviewers was awkward and ineffectual compared
with this venomous banter, which entertained by showing that in
the book under notice there was neither entertainment nor any
other kind of interest. To assail an author without increasing
the number of his readers is the perfection of journalistic
skill, and The Current, had it stood alone, would fully have
achieved this end. As it was, silence might have been better
tactics. But Mr Fadge knew that his enemy would smart under the
poisoned pin-points, and that was something gained.
On the day that The Current appeared, its treatment of Alfred
Yule was discussed in Mr Jedwood's private office. Mr Quarmby,
who had intimate relations with the publisher, happened to look
in just as a young man (one of Mr Jedwood's 'readers') was
expressing a doubt whether Fadge himself was the author of the
review.
'But there's Fadge's thumb-mark all down the page,' cried Mr
Quarmby.
'He inspired the thing, of course; but I rather think it was
written by that fellow Milvain.'
'Think so?' asked the publisher.
'Well, I know with certainty that the notice of Markland's novel
is his writing, and I have reasons for suspecting that he did
Yule's book as well.'
'Somebody's illegitimate son, I believe,' replied the source of
trustworthy information, with a laugh. 'Denham says he met him in
New York a year or two ago, under another name.
'Excuse me,' interposed Mr Quarmby, 'there's some mistake in all
that.'
He went on to state what he knew, from Yule himself, concerning
Milvain's history. Though in this instance a corrector, Mr
Quarmby took an opportunity, a few hours later, of informing Mr
Hinks that the attack on Yule in The Current was almost certainly
written by young Milvain, with the result that when the rumour
reached Yule's ears it was delivered as an undoubted and
well-known fact.
It was a month prior to this that Milvain made his call upon
Marian Yule, on the Sunday when her father was absent. When told
of the visit, Yule assumed a manner of indifference, but his
daughter understood that he was annoyed. With regard to the
sisters who would shortly be living in London, he merely said
that Marian must behave as discretion directed her. If she wished
to invite the Miss Milvains to St Paul's Crescent, he only begged
that the times and seasons of the household might not be
disturbed.
As her habit was, Marian took refuge in silence. Nothing could
have been more welcome to her than the proximity of Maud and
Dora, but she foresaw that her own home would not be freely open
to them; perhaps it might be necessary to behave with simple
frankness, and let her friends know the embarrassments of the
situation. But that could not be done in the first instance; the
unkindness would seem too great. A day after the arrival of the
girls, she received a note from Dora, and almost at once replied
to it by calling at her friends' lodgings. A week after that,
Maud and Dora came to St Paul's Crescent; it was Sunday, and Mr
Yule purposely kept away from home. They had only been once to
the house since then, again without meeting Mr Yule. Marian,
however, visited them at their lodgings frequently; now and then
she met Jasper there. The latter never spoke of her father, and
there was no question of inviting him to repeat his call.
In the end, Marian was obliged to speak on the subject with her
mother. Mrs Yule offered an occasion by asking when the Miss
Milvains were coming again.
'I don't think I shall ever ask them again,' Marian replied.
Her mother understood, and looked troubled.
'I must tell them how it is, that's all,' the girl went on. 'They
are sensible; they won't be offended with me.'
'But your father has never had anything to say against them,'
urged Mrs Yule. 'Not a word to me, Marian. I'd tell you the truth
if he had.'
'It's too disagreeable, all the same. I can't invite them here
with pleasure. Father has grown prejudiced against them all, and
he won't change. No, I shall just tell them.'
'It's very hard for you,' sighed her mother. 'If I thought I
could do any good by speaking--but I can't, my dear.'
'I know it, mother. Let us go on as we did before.'
The day after this, when Yule came home about the hour of dinner,
he called Marian's name from within the study. Marian had not
left the house to-day; her work had been set, in the shape of a
long task of copying from disorderly manuscript. She left the
sitting-room in obedience to her father's summons.
'Here's something that will afford you amusement,' he said,
holding to her the new number of The Current, and indicating the
notice of his book.
She read a few lines, then threw the thing on to the table.
'That kind of writing sickens me,' she exclaimed, with anger in
her eyes. 'Only base and heartless people can write in that way.
You surely won't let it trouble you?'
'Oh, not for a moment,' her father answered, with exaggerated
show of calm. 'But I am surprised that you don't see the literary
merit of the work. I thought it would distinctly appeal to you.'
There was a strangeness in his voice, as well as in the words,
which caused her to look at him inquiringly. She knew him well
enough to understand that such a notice would irritate him
profoundly; but why should he go out of his way to show it her,
and with this peculiar acerbity of manner?
'Why do you say that, father?'
'It doesn't occur to you who may probably have written it?'
She could not miss his meaning; astonishment held her mute for a
moment, then she said:
'Surely Mr Fadge wrote it himself?'
'I am told not. I am informed on very good authority that one of
his young gentlemen has the credit of it.'
'You refer, of course, to Mr Milvain,' she replied quietly. 'But
I think that can't be true.'
He looked keenly at her. He had expected a more decided protest.
'I see no reason for disbelieving it.'
'I see every reason, until I have your evidence.'
This was not at all Marian's natural tone in argument with him.
She was wont to be submissive.
'I was told,' he continued, hardening face and voice, 'by someone
who had it from Jedwood.'
Yule was conscious of untruth in this statement, but his mood
would not allow him to speak ingenuously, and he wished to note
the effect upon Marian of what he said. There were two beliefs in
him: on the one hand, he recognised Fadge in every line of the
writing; on the other, he had a perverse satisfaction in
convincing himself that it was Milvain who had caught so
successfully the master's manner. He was not the kind of man who
can resist an opportunity of justifying, to himself and others, a
course into which he has been led by mingled feelings, all more
or less unjustifiable.
'How should Jedwood know?' asked Marian.
Yule shrugged his shoulders.
'As if these things didn't get about among editors and
publishers!'
'In this case, there's a mistake.'
'And why, pray?' His voice trembled with choler. 'Why need there
be a mistake?'
'Because Mr Milvain is quite incapable of reviewing your book in
such a spirit.'
'There is your mistake, my girl. Milvain will do anything that's
asked of him, provided he's well enough paid.'
Marian reflected. When she raised her eyes again they were
perfectly calm.
'What has led you to think that?'
'Don't I know the type of man? Noscitur ex sociis--have you Latin
enough for that?'
'You'll find that you are misinformed,' Marian replied, and
therewith went from the room.
She could not trust herself to converse longer. A resentment such
as her father had never yet excited in her--such, indeed, as she
had seldom, if ever, conceived--threatened to force utterance for
itself in words which would change the current of her whole life.
She saw her father in his worst aspect, and her heart was shaken
by an unnatural revolt from him. Let his assurance of what he
reported be ever so firm, what right had he to make this use of
it? His behaviour was spiteful. Suppose he entertained suspicions
which seemed to make it his duty to warn her against Milvain,
this was not the way to go about it. A father actuated by simple
motives of affection would never speak and look thus.
It was the hateful spirit of literary rancour that ruled him; the
spirit that made people eager to believe all evil, that blinded
and maddened. Never had she felt so strongly the unworthiness of
the existence to which she was condemned. That contemptible
review, and now her father's ignoble passion--such things were
enough to make all literature appear a morbid excrescence upon
human life.
Forgetful of the time, she sat in her bedroom until a knock at
the door, and her mother's voice, admonished her that dinner was
waiting. An impulse all but caused her to say that she would
rather not go down for the meal, that she wished to be left
alone. But this would be weak peevishness. She just looked at the
glass to see that her face bore no unwonted signs, and descended
to take her place as usual.
Throughout the dinner there passed no word of conversation. Yule
was at his blackest; he gobbled a few mouthfuls, then occupied
himself with the evening paper. On rising, he said to Marian:
'Have you copied the whole of that?'
The tone would have been uncivil if addressed to an impertinent
servant.
'Not much more than half,' was the cold reply.
'Can you finish it to-night?'
'I'm afraid not. I am going out.'
'Then I must do it myself'
And he went to the study.
Mrs Yule was in an anguish of nervousness.
'What is it, dear?' she asked of Marian, in a pleading whisper.
'Oh, don't quarrel with your father! Don't!'
'I can't be a slave, mother, and I can't be treated unjustly.'
'What is it? Let me go and speak to him.'
'It's no use. We CAN'T live in terror.'
For Mrs Yule this was unimaginable disaster. She had never dreamt
that Marian, the still, gentle Marian, could be driven to revolt.
And it had come with the suddenness of a thunderclap. She wished
to ask what had taken place between father and daughter in the
brief interview before dinner; but Marian gave her no chance,
quitting the room upon those last trembling words.
The girl had resolved to visit her friends, the sisters, and tell
them that in future they must never come to see her at home. But
it was no easy thing for her to stifle her conscience, and leave
her father to toil over that copying which had need of being
finished. Not her will, but her exasperated feeling, had replied
to him that she would not do the work; already it astonished her
that she had really spoken such words. And as the throbbing of
her pulses subsided, she saw more clearly into the motives of
this wretched tumult which possessed her. Her mind was harassed
with a fear lest in defending Milvain she had spoken foolishly.
Had he not himself said to her that he might be guilty of base
things, just to make his way? Perhaps it was the intolerable pain
of imagining that he had already made good his words, which
robbed her of self-control and made her meet her father's
rudeness with defiance.
Impossible to carry out her purpose; she could not deliberately
leave the house and spend some hours away with the thought of
such wrath and misery left behind her. Gradually she was
returning to her natural self; fear and penitence were chill at
her heart.
She went down to the study, tapped, and entered.
'Father, I said something that I did not really mean. Of course I
shall go on with the copying and finish it as soon as possible.'
'You will do nothing of the kind, my girl.' He was in his usual
place, already working at Marian's task; he spoke in a low, thick
voice. 'Spend your evening as you choose, I have no need of you.'
'I behaved very ill-temperedly. Forgive me, father.'
'Have the goodness to go away. You hear me?'
His eyes were inflamed, and his discoloured teeth showed
themselves savagely. Marian durst not, really durst not approach
him. She hesitated, but once more a sense of hateful injustice
moved within her, and she went away as quietly as she had
entered.
She said to herself that now it was her perfect right to go
whither she would. But the freedom was only in theory; her
submissive and timid nature kept her at home--and upstairs in her
own room; for, if she went to sit with her mother, of necessity
she must talk about what had happened, and that she felt unable
to do. Some friend to whom she could unbosom all her sufferings
would now have been very precious to her, but Maud and Dora were
her only intimates, and to them she might not make the full
confession which gives solace.
Mrs Yule did not venture to intrude upon her daughter's privacy.
That Marian neither went out nor showed herself in the house
proved her troubled state, but the mother had no confidence in
her power to comfort. At the usual time she presented herself in
the study with her husband's coffee; the face which was for an
instant turned to her did not invite conversation, but distress
obliged her to speak.
'Why are you cross with Marian, Alfred?'
'You had better ask what she means by her extraordinary
behaviour.'
A word of harsh rebuff was the most she had expected. Thus
encouraged, she timidly put another question.
'How has she behaved?'
'I suppose you have ears?'
'But wasn't there something before that? You spoke so angry to
her.'
'Spoke so angry, did I? She is out, I suppose?'
'No, she hasn't gone out.'
'That'll do. Don't disturb me any longer.'
She did not venture to linger.
The breakfast next morning seemed likely to pass without any
interchange of words. But when Yule was pushing back his chair,
Marian--who looked pale and ill--addressed a question to him
about the work she would ordinarily have pursued to-day at the
Reading-room. He answered in a matter-of-fact tone, and for a few
minutes they talked on the subject much as at any other time.
Half an hour after, Marian set forth for the Museum in the usual
way. Her father stayed at home.
It was the end of the episode for the present. Marian felt that
the best thing would be to ignore what had happened, as her
father evidently purposed doing. She had asked his forgiveness,
and it was harsh in him to have repelled her; but by now she was
able once more to take into consideration all his trials and
toils, his embittered temper and the new wound he had received.
That he should resume his wonted manner was sufficient evidence
of regret on his part. Gladly she would have unsaid her resentful
words; she had been guilty of a childish outburst of temper, and
perhaps had prepared worse sufferings for the future.
And yet, perhaps it was as well that her father should be warned.
She was not all submission, he might try her beyond endurance;
there might come a day when perforce she must stand face to face
with him, and make it known she had her own claims upon life. It
was as well he should hold that possibility in view.
This evening no work was expected of her. Not long after dinner
she prepared for going out; to her mother she mentioned she
should be back about ten o'clock.
'Give my kind regards to them, dear--if you like to,' said Mrs
Yule just above her breath.
Marian walked to the nearest point of Camden Road, and there
waited for an omnibus, which conveyed her to within easy reach of
the street where Maud and Dora Milvain had their lodgings. This
was at the north-east of Regent's Park, and no great distance
from Mornington Road, where Jasper still dwelt.
On learning that the young ladies were at home and alone, she
ascended to the second floor and knocked.
'That's right!' exclaimed Dora's pleasant voice, as the door
opened and the visitor showed herself And then came the friendly
greeting which warmed Marian's heart, the greeting which until
lately no house in London could afford her.
The girls looked oddly out of place in this second-floor sitting-
room, with its vulgar furniture and paltry ornaments. Maud
especially so, for her fine figure was well displayed by the
dress of mourning, and her pale, handsome face had as little
congruence as possible with a background of humble circumstances.
Dora impressed one as a simpler nature, but she too had
distinctly the note of refinement which was out of harmony with
these surroundings. They occupied only two rooms, the
sleeping-chamber being double-bedded; they purchased food for
themselves and prepared their own meals, excepting dinner. During
the first week a good many tears were shed by both of them; it
was not easy to transfer themselves from the comfortable country
home to this bare corner of lodgers' London. Maud, as appeared at
the first glance, was less disposed than her sister to make the
best of things; her countenance wore an expression rather of
discontent than of sorrow, and she did not talk with the same
readiness as Dora.
On the round table lay a number of books; when disturbed, the
sisters had been engaged in studious reading.
'I'm not sure that I do right in coming again so soon,' said
Marian as she took off her things. 'Your time is precious.'
'So are you,' replied Dora, laughing. 'It's only under protest
that we work in the evening when we have been hard at it all
day.'
'We have news for you, too,' said Maud, who sat languidly on an
uneasy chair.
'Good, I hope?'
'Someone called to see us yesterday. I dare say you can guess who
it was.'
'Amy, perhaps?'
'Yes.'
'And how did you like her?'
The sisters seemed to have a difficulty in answering. Dora was
the first to speak.
'We thought she was sadly out of spirits. Indeed she told us that
she hasn't been very well lately. But I think we shall like her
if we come to know her better.'
'It was rather awkward, Marian,' the elder sister explained. 'We
felt obliged to say something about Mr Reardon's books, but we
haven't read any of them yet, you know, so I just said that I
hoped soon to read his new novel. "I suppose you have seen
reviews of it?" she asked at once. Of course I ought to have had
the courage to say no, but I admitted that I had seen one or two
-- Jasper showed us them. She looked very much annoyed, and after
that we didn't find much to talk about.'
'The reviews are very disagreeable,' said Marian with a troubled
face. 'I have read the book since I saw you the other day, and I
am afraid it isn't good, but I have seen many worse novels more
kindly reviewed.'
'Jasper says it's because Mr Reardon has no friends among the
journalists.'
'Still,' replied Marian, 'I'm afraid they couldn't have given the
book much praise, if they wrote honestly. Did Amy ask you to go
and see her?'
'Yes, but she said it was uncertain how long they would be living
at their present address. And really. we can't feel sure whether
we should be welcome or not just now.'
Marian listened with bent head. She too had to make known to her
friends that they were not welcome in her own home; but she knew
not how to utter words which would sound so unkind.
'Your brother,' she said after a pause, 'will soon find suitable
friends for you.'
'Before long,' replied Dora, with a look of amusement, 'he's
going to take us to call on Mrs Boston Wright. I hardly thought
he was serious at first, but he says he really means it.'
Marian grew more and more silent. At home she had felt that it
would not be difficult to explain her troubles to these
sympathetic girls, but now the time had come for speaking, she
was oppressed by shame and anxiety. True, there was no absolute
necessity for making the confession this evening, and if she
chose to resist her father's prejudice, things might even go on
in a seemingly natural way. But the loneliness of her life had
developed in her a sensitiveness which could not endure
situations such as the present; difficulties which are of small
account to people who take their part in active social life,
harassed her to the destruction of all peace. Dora was not long
in noticing the dejected mood which had come upon her friend.
'What's troubling you, Marian?'
'Something I can hardly bear to speak of. Perhaps it will be the
end of your friendship for me, and I should find it very hard to
go back to my old solitude.'
The girls gazed at her, in doubt at first whether she spoke
seriously.
'What can you mean?' Dora exclaimed. 'What crime have you been
committing?'
Maud, who leaned with her elbows on the table, searched Marian's
face curiously, but said nothing.
'Has Mr Milvain shown you the new number of The Current?' Marian
went on to ask.
They replied with a negative, and Maud added:
'He has nothing in it this month, except a review.'
'A review?' repeated Marian in a low voice.
'Yes; of somebody's novel.'
'Markland's,' supplied Dora.
Marian drew a breath, but remained for a moment with her eyes
cast down.
'Do go on, dear,' urged Dora. 'Whatever are you going to tell
us?'
'There's a notice of father's book,' continued the other, 'a very
ill-natured one; it's written by the editor, Mr Fadge. Father and
he have been very unfriendly for a long time. Perhaps Mr Milvain
has told you something about it?'
Dora replied that he had.
'I don't know how it is in other professions,' Marian resumed,
'but I hope there is less envy, hatred and malice than in this of
ours. The name of literature is often made hateful to me by the
things I hear and read. My father has never been very fortunate,
and many things have happened to make him bitter against the men
who succeed; he has often quarrelled with people who were at
first his friends, but never so seriously with anyone as with Mr
Fadge. His feeling of enmity goes so far that it includes even
those who are in any way associated with Mr Fadge. I am sorry to
say'--she looked with painful anxiety from one to the other of
her hearers--'this has turned him against your brother, and-- '
Her voice was checked by agitation.
'We were afraid of this,' said Dora, in a tone of sympathy.
'Jasper feared it might be the case,' added Maud, more coldly,
though with friendliness.
'Why I speak of it at all,' Marian hastened to say, 'is because I
am so afraid it should make a difference between yourselves and
me.'
'Oh! don't think that!' Dora exclaimed.
'I am so ashamed,' Marian went on in an uncertain tone, 'but I
think it will be better if I don't ask you to come and see me. It
sounds ridiculous; it is ridiculous and shameful. I couldn't
complain if you refused to have anything more to do with me.'
'Don't let it trouble you,' urged Maud, with perhaps a trifle
more of magnanimity in her voice than was needful. We quite
understand. Indeed, it shan't make any difference to us.'
But Marian had averted her face, and could not meet these
assurances with any show of pleasure. Now that the step was taken
she felt that her behaviour had been very weak. Unreasonable
harshness such as her father's ought to have been met more
steadily; she had no right to make it an excuse for such
incivility to her friends. Yet only in some such way as this
could she make known to Jasper Milvain how her father regarded
him, which she felt it necessary to do. Now his sisters would
tell him, and henceforth there would be a clear understanding on
both sides. That state of things was painful to her, but it was
better than ambiguous relations.
'Jasper is very sorry about it,' said Dora, glancing rapidly at
Marian.
'But his connection with Mr Fadge came about in such a natural
way,' added the eldest sister. 'And it was impossible for him to
refuse opportunities.'
'Impossible; I know,' Marian replied earnestly. 'Don't think that
I wish to justify my father. But I can understand him, and it
must be very difficult for you to do so. You can't know, as I do,
how intensely he has suffered in these wretched, ignoble
quarrels. If only you will let me come here still, in the same
way, and still be as friendly to me. My home has never been a
place to which I could have invited friends with any comfort,
even if I had had any to invite. There were always reasons--but I
can't speak of them.'
'My dear Marian,' appealed Dora, 'don't distress yourself so! Do
believe that nothing whatever has happened to change our feeling
to you. Has there, Maud?'
'Nothing whatever. We are not unreasonable girls, Marian.'
'I am more grateful to you than I can say.'
It had seemed as if Marian must give way to the emotions which
all but choked her voice; she overcame them, however, and
presently was able to talk in pretty much her usual way, though
when she smiled it was but faintly. Maud tried to lead her
thoughts in another direction by speaking of work in which she
and Dora were engaged. Already the sisters were doing a new piece
of compilation for Messrs Jolly and Monk; it was more exacting
than their initial task for the book market, and would take a
much longer time.
A couple of hours went by, and Marian had just spoken of taking
her leave, when a man's step was heard rapidly ascending the
nearest flight of stairs.
'Here's Jasper,' remarked Dora, and in a moment there sounded a
short, sharp summons at the door.
Jasper it was; he came in with radiant face, his eyes blinking
before the lamplight.
'Well, girls! Ha! how do you do, Miss Yule? I had just the
vaguest sort of expectation that you might be here. It seemed a
likely night; I don't know why. I say, Dora, we really must get
two or three decent easy-chairs for your room. I've seen some
outside a second-hand furniture shop in Hampstead Road, about six
shillings apiece. There's no sitting on chairs such as these.'
That on which he tried to dispose himself, when he had flung
aside his trappings, creaked and shivered ominously.
'You hear? I shall come plump on to the floor, if I don't mind.
My word, what a day I have had! I've just been trying what I
really could do in one day if I worked my hardest. Now just
listen; it deserves to be chronicled for the encouragement of
aspiring youth. I got up at 7.30, and whilst I breakfasted I read
through a volume I had to review. By 10.30 the review was
written--three-quarters of a column of the Evening Budget.'
'Who is the unfortunate author?' interrupted Maud, caustically.
'Not unfortunate at all. I had to crack him up; otherwise I
couldn't have done the job so quickly. It's the easiest thing in
the world to write laudation; only an inexperienced grumbler
would declare it was easier to find fault. The book was
Billington's "Vagaries"; pompous idiocy, of course, but he lives
in a big house and gives dinners. Well, from 10.30 to 11, I
smoked a cigar and reflected, feeling that the day wasn't badly
begun. At eleven I was ready to write my Saturday causerie for
the Will o' the Wisp; it took me till close upon one o'clock,
which was rather too long. I can't afford more than an hour and a
half for that job. At one, I rushed out to a dirty little
eating-house in Hampstead Road. Was back again by a quarter to
two, having in the meantime sketched a paper for The West End.
Pipe in mouth, I sat down to leisurely artistic work; by five,
half the paper was done; the other half remains for to-morrow.
From five to half-past I read four newspapers and two magazines,
and from half-past to a quarter to six I jotted down several
ideas that had come to me whilst reading. At six I was again in
the dirty eating-house, satisfying a ferocious hunger. Home once
more at 6.45, and for two hours wrote steadily at a long affair I
have in hand for The Current. Then I came here, thinking hard all
the way. What say you to this? Have I earned a night's repose?'
'And what's the value of it all?' asked Maud.
'Probably from ten to twelve guineas, if I calculated.'
'I meant, what was the literary value of it?' said his sister,
with a smile.
'Equal to that of the contents of a mouldy nut.'
'Pretty much what I thought.'
'Oh, but it answers the purpose,' urged Dora, 'and it does no one
any harm.'
'Honest journey-work!' cried Jasper. 'There are few men in London
capable of such a feat. Many a fellow could write more in
quantity, but they couldn't command my market. It's rubbish, but
rubbish of a very special kind, of fine quality.'
Marian had not yet spoken, save a word or two in reply to
Jasper's greeting; now and then she just glanced at him, but for
the most part her eyes were cast down. Now Jasper addressed her.
'A year ago, Miss Yule, I shouldn't have believed myself capable
of such activity. In fact I wasn't capable of it then.'
'You think such work won't be too great a strain upon you?' she
asked.
'Oh, this isn't a specimen day, you know. To-morrow I shall very
likely do nothing but finish my West End article, in an easy two
or three hours. There's no knowing; I might perhaps keep up the
high pressure if I tried. But then I couldn't dispose of all the
work. Little by little--or perhaps rather quicker than that--I
shall extend my scope. For instance, I should like to do two or
three leaders a week for one of the big dailies. I can't attain
unto that just yet.'
'Not political leaders?'
'By no means. That's not my line. The kind of thing in which one
makes a column out of what would fill six lines of respectable
prose. You call a cigar a "convoluted weed," and so on, you know;
that passes for facetiousness. I've never really tried my hand at
that style yet; I shouldn't wonder if I managed it brilliantly.
Some day I'll write a few exercises; just take two lines of some
good prose writer, and expand them into twenty, in half-a-dozen
different ways. Excellent mental gymnastics!'
Marian listened to his flow of talk for a few minutes longer,
then took the opportunity of a brief silence to rise and put on
her hat. Jasper observed her, but without rising; he looked at
his sisters in a hesitating way. At length he stood up, and
declared that he too must be off. This coincidence had happened
once before when he met Marian here in the evening.
'At all events, you won't do any more work to-night,' said Dora.
'No; I shall read a page of something or other over a glass of
whisky, and seek the sleep of a man who has done his duty.'
'Why the whisky?' asked Maud.
'Do you grudge me such poor solace?'
'I don't see the need of it.'
'Nonsense, Maud!' exclaimed her sister. 'He needs a little
stimulant when he works so hard.'
Each of the girls gave Marian's hand a significant pressure as
she took leave of them, and begged her to come again as soon as
she had a free evening. There was gratitude in her eyes.
The evening was clear, and not very cold.
'It's rather late for you to go home,' said Jasper, as they left
the house. 'May I walk part of the way with you?'
Marian replied with a low 'Thank you.'
'I think you get on pretty well with the girls, don't you?'
'I hope they are as glad of my friendship as I am of theirs.'
'Pity to see them in a place like that, isn't it? They ought to
have a good house, with plenty of servants. It's bad enough for a
civilised man to have to rough it, but I hate to see women living
in a sordid way. Don't you think they could both play their part
in a drawing-room, with a little experience?'
'Surely there's no doubt of it.'
'Maud would look really superb if she were handsomely dressed.
She hasn't a common face, by any means. And Dora is pretty, I
think. Well, they shall go and see some people before long. The
difficulty is, one doesn't like it to be known that they live in
such a crib; but I daren't advise them to go in for expense. One
can't be sure that it would repay them, though-- Now, in my own
case, if I could get hold of a few thousand pounds I should know
how to use it with the certainty of return; it would save me,
probably, a clear ten years of life; I mean, I should go at a
jump to what I shall be ten years hence without the help of
money. But they have such a miserable little bit of capital, and
everything is still so uncertain. One daren't speculate under the
circumstances.'
Marian made no reply.
'You think I talk of nothing but money?' Jasper said suddenly,
looking down into her face.
'I know too well what it means to be without money.'
'Yes, but--you do just a little despise me?'
'Indeed, I don't, Mr Milvain.'
'If that is sincere, I'm very glad. I take it in a friendly
sense. I am rather despicable, you know; it's part of my business
to be so. But a friend needn't regard that. There is the man
apart from his necessities.'
The silence was then unbroken till they came to the lower end of
Park Street, the junction of roads which lead to Hampstead, to
Highgate, and to Holloway.
'Shall you take an omnibus?' Jasper asked.
She hesitated.
'Or will you give me the pleasure of walking on with you? You are
tired, perhaps?'
'Not the least.'
For the rest of her answer she moved forward, and they crossed
into the obscurity of Camden Road.
'Shall I be doing wrong, Mr Milvain,' Marian began in a very low
voice, 'if I ask you about the authorship of something in this
month's Current?'
'I'm afraid I know what you refer to. There's no reason why I
shouldn't answer a question of the kind.'
'It was Mr Fadge himself who reviewed my father's book?'
'It was--confound him! I don't know another man who could have
done the thing so vilely well.'
'I suppose he was only replying to my father's attack upon him
and his friends.'
'Your father's attack is honest and straightforward and
justifiable and well put. I read that chapter of his book with
huge satisfaction. But has anyone suggested that another than
Fadge was capable of that masterpiece?'
'Yes. I am told that Mr Jedwood, the publisher, has somehow made
a mistake.'
'Jedwood? And what mistake?'
'Father heard that you were the writer.'
'I?' Jasper stopped short. They were in the rays of a street-
lamp, and could see each other's faces. 'And he believes that?'
'I'm afraid so.'
'And you believe--believed it?'
'Not for a moment.'
'I shall write a note to Mr Yule.'
Marian was silent a while, then said:
'Wouldn't it be better if you found a way of letting Mr Jedwood
know the truth?'
'Perhaps you are right.'
Jasper was very grateful for the suggestion. In that moment he
had reflected how rash it would be to write to Alfred Yule on
such a subject, with whatever prudence in expressing himself.
Such a letter, coming under the notice of the great Fadge, might
do its writer serious harm.
'Yes, you are right,' he repeated. 'I'll stop that rumour at its
source. I can't guess how it started; for aught I know, some
enemy hath done this, though I don't quite discern the motive.
Thank you very much for telling me, and still more for refusing
to believe that I could treat Mr Yule in that way, even as a
matter of business. When I said that I was despicable, I didn't
mean that I could sink quite to such a point as that. If only
because it was your father--'
He checked himself and they walked on for several yards without
speaking.
'In that case,' Jasper resumed at length, 'your father doesn't
think of me in a very friendly way?'
'He scarcely could--'
'No, no. And I quite understand that the mere fact of my working
for Fadge would prejudice him against me. But that's no reason, I
hope, why you and I shouldn't be friends?'
'I hope not.'
'I don't know that my friendship is worth much,' Jasper
continued, talking into the upper air, a habit of his when he
discussed his own character. 'I shall go on as I have begun, and
fight for some of the good things of life. But your friendship is
valuable. If I am sure of it, I shall be at all events within
sight of the better ideals.'
Marian walked on with her eyes upon the ground. To her surprise
she discovered presently that they had all but reached St Paul's
Crescent.
'Thank you for having come so far,' she said, pausing.
'Ah, you are nearly home. Why, it seems only a few minutes since
we left the girls. Now I'll run back to the whisky of which Maud
disapproves.'
'May it do you good!' said Marian with a laugh.
A speech of this kind seemed unusual upon her lips. Jasper smiled
as he held her hand and regarded her.
'Then you can speak in a joking way?'
'Do I seem so very dull?'
'Dull, by no means. But sage and sober and reticent--and exactly
what I like in my friend, because it contrasts with my own
habits. All the better that merriment lies below it. Goodnight,
Miss Yule.'
He strode off and in a minute or two turned his head to look at
the slight figure passing into darkness.
Marian's hand trembled as she tried to insert her latch-key. When
she had closed the door very quietly behind her she went to the
sitting-room; Mrs Yule was just laying aside the sewing on which
she had occupied herself throughout the lonely evening.
'I'm rather late,' said the girl, in a voice of subdued
joyousness.
'Yes; I was getting a little uneasy, dear.'
'Oh, there's no danger.'
'You have been enjoying yourself, I can see.'
'I have had a pleasant evening.'
In the retrospect it seemed the pleasantest she had yet spent
with her friends, though she had set out in such a different
mood. Her mind was relieved of two anxieties; she felt sure that
the girls had not taken ill what she told them, and there was no
longer the least doubt concerning the authorship of that review
in The Current.
She could confess to herself now that the assurance from Jasper's
lips was not superfluous. He might have weighed profit against
other considerations, and have written in that way of her father;
she had not felt that absolute confidence which defies every
argument from human frailty. And now she asked herself if faith
of that unassailable kind is ever possible; is it not only the
poet's dream, the far ideal?
Marian often went thus far in her speculation. Her candour was
allied with clear insight into the possibilities of falsehood;
she was not readily the victim of illusion; thinking much, and
speaking little, she had not come to her twenty-third year
without perceiving what a distance lay between a girl's dream of
life as it might be and life as it is. Had she invariably
disclosed her thoughts, she would have earned the repute of a
very sceptical and slightly cynical person.
But with what rapturous tumult of the heart she could abandon
herself to a belief in human virtues when their suggestion seemed
to promise her a future of happiness!
Alone in her room she sat down only to think of Jasper Milvain,
and extract from the memory of his words, his looks, new
sustenance for her hungry heart. Jasper was the first man who had
ever evinced a man's interest in her. Until she met him she had
not known a look of compliment or a word addressed to her
emotions. He was as far as possible from representing the lover
of her imagination, but from the day of that long talk in the
fields near Wattleborough the thought of him had supplanted
dreams. On that day she said to herself: I could love him if he
cared to seek my love. Premature, perhaps; why, yes, but one who
is starving is not wont to feel reluctance at the suggestion of
food. The first man who had approached her with display of
feeling and energy and youthful self-confidence; handsome too, it
seemed to her. Her womanhood went eagerly to meet him.
Since then she had made careful study of his faults. Each
conversation had revealed to her new weakness and follies. With
the result that her love had grown to a reality.
He was so human, and a youth of all but monastic seclusion had
prepared her to love the man who aimed with frank energy at the
joys of life. A taint of pedantry would have repelled her. She
did not ask for high intellect or great attainments; but
vivacity, courage, determination to succeed, were delightful to
her senses. Her ideal would not have been a literary man at all;
certainly not a man likely to be prominent in journalism; rather
a man of action, one who had no restraints of commerce or
official routine. But in Jasper she saw the qualities that
attracted her apart from the accidents of his position. Ideal
personages do not descend to girls who have to labour at the
British Museum; it seemed a marvel to her, and of good augury,
that even such a man as Jasper should have crossed her path.
It was as though years had passed since their first meeting. Upon
her return to London had followed such long periods of
hopelessness. Yet whenever they encountered each other he had
look and speech for her with which surely he did not greet every
woman. From the first his way of regarding her had shown frank
interest. And at length had come the confession of his 'respect,'
his desire to be something more to her than a mere acquaintance.
It was scarcely possible that he should speak as he several times
had of late if he did not wish to draw her towards him.
That was the hopeful side of her thoughts. It was easy to forget
for a time those words of his which one might think were spoken
as distinct warning; but they crept into the memory, unwelcome,
importunate, as soon as imagination had built its palace of joy.
Why did he always recur to the subject of money? 'I shall allow
nothing to come in my way;' he once said that as if meaning,
'certainly not a love affair with a girl who is penniless.' He
emphasised the word 'friend,' as if to explain that he offered
and asked nothing more than friendship.
But it only meant that he would not be in haste to. declare
himself. Of a certainty there was conflict between his ambition
and his love, but she recognised her power over him and exulted
in it. She had observed his hesitancy this evening, before he
rose to accompany her from the house; her heart laughed within
her as the desire drew him. And henceforth such meetings would be
frequent, with each one her influence would increase. How kindly
fate had dealt with her in bringing Maud and Dora to London!
It was within his reach to marry a woman who would bring him
wealth. He had that in mind; she understood it too well. But not
one moment's advantage would she relinquish. He must choose her
in her poverty, and be content with what his talents could earn
for him. Her love gave her the right to demand this sacrifice;
let him ask for her love, and the sacrifice would no longer seem
one, so passionately would she reward him.
He would ask it. To-night she was full of a rich confidence,
partly, no doubt, the result of reaction from her miseries. He
had said at parting that her character was so well suited to his;
that he liked her. And then he had pressed her hand so warmly.
Before long he would ask her love.
The unhoped was all but granted her. She could labour on in the
valley of the shadow of books, for a ray of dazzling sunshine
might at any moment strike into its musty gloom.
The past twelve months had added several years to Edwin Reardon's
seeming age; at thirty-three he would generally have been taken
for forty. His bearing, his personal habits, were no longer those
of a young man; he walked with a stoop and pressed noticeably on
the stick he carried; it was rare for him to show the countenance
which tells of present cheerfulness or glad onward-looking; there
was no spring in his step; his voice had fallen to a lower key,
and often he spoke with that hesitation in choice of words which
may be noticed in persons whom defeat has made self-distrustful.
Ceaseless perplexity and dread gave a wandering, sometimes a
wild, expression to his eyes.
He seldom slept, in the proper sense of the word; as a rule he
was conscious all through the night of 'a kind of fighting'
between physical weariness and wakeful toil of the mind. It often
happened that some wholly imaginary obstacle in the story he was
writing kept him under a sense of effort throughout the dark
hours; now and again he woke, reasoned with himself, and
remembered clearly that the torment was without cause, but the
short relief thus afforded soon passed in the recollection of
real distress. In his unsoothing slumber he talked aloud,
frequently wakening Amy; generally he seemed to be holding a
dialogue with someone who had imposed an intolerable task upon
him; he protested passionately, appealed, argued in the strangest
way about the injustice of what was demanded. Once Amy heard him
begging for money--positively begging, like some poor wretch in
the street; it was horrible, and made her shed tears; when he
asked what he had been saying, she could not bring herself to
tell him.
When the striking clocks summoned him remorselessly to rise and
work he often reeled with dizziness. It seemed to him that the
greatest happiness attainable would be to creep into some dark,
warm corner, out of the sight and memory of men, and lie there
torpid, with a blessed half-consciousness that death was slowly
overcoming him. Of all the sufferings collected into each
four-and-twenty hours this of rising to a new day was the worst.
The one-volume story which he had calculated would take him four
or five weeks was with difficulty finished in two months. March
winds made an invalid of him; at one time he was threatened with
bronchitis, and for several days had to abandon even the effort
to work. In previous winters he had been wont to undergo a good
deal of martyrdom from the London climate, but never in such a
degree as now; mental illness seemed to have enfeebled his body.
It was strange that he succeeded in doing work of any kind, for
he had no hope from the result. This one last effort he would
make, just to complete the undeniableness of his failure, and
then literature should be thrown behind him; what other pursuit
was possible to him he knew not, but perhaps he might discover
some mode of earning a livelihood. Had it been a question of
gaining a pound a week, as in the old days, he might have hoped
to obtain some clerkship like that at the hospital, where no
commercial experience or aptitude was demanded; but in his
present position such an income would be useless. Could he take
Amy and the child to live in a garret? On less than a hundred a
year it was scarcely possible to maintain outward decency.
Already his own clothing began to declare him poverty-stricken,
and but for gifts from her mother Amy would have reached the like
pass. They lived in dread of the pettiest casual expense, for the
day of pennilessness was again approaching.
Amy was oftener from home than had been her custom.
Occasionally she went away soon after breakfast, and spent the
whole day at her mother's house. 'It saves food,' she said with a
bitter laugh, when Reardon once expressed surprise that she
should be going again so soon.
'And gives you an opportunity of bewailing your hard fate,' he
returned coldly.
The reproach was ignoble, and he could not be surprised that Amy
left the house without another word to him. Yet he resented that,
as he had resented her sorrowful jest. The feeling of unmanliness
in his own position tortured him into a mood of perversity.
Through the day he wrote only a few lines, and on Amy's return he
resolved not to speak to her. There was a sense of repose in this
change of attitude; he encouraged himself in the view that Amy
was treating him with cruel neglect. She, surprised that her
friendly questions elicited no answer, looked into his face and
saw a sullen anger of which hitherto Reardon had never seemed
capable. Her indignation took fire, and she left him to himself.
For a day or two he persevered in his muteness, uttering a word
only when it could not be avoided. Amy was at first so resentful
that she contemplated leaving him to his ill-temper and dwelling
at her mother's house until he chose to recall her. But his face
grew so haggard in fixed misery that compassion at length
prevailed over her injured pride. Late in the evening she went to
the study, and found him sitting unoccupied.
'Edwin--'
'What do you want?' he asked indifferently.
'Why are you behaving to me like this?'
'Surely it makes no difference to you how I behave? You can
easily forget that I exist, and live your own life.'
'What have I done to make this change in you?'
'Is it a change?'
'You know it is.'
'How did I behave before?' he asked, glancing at her.
'Like yourself--kindly and gently.'
'If I always did so, in spite of things that might have
embittered another man's temper, I think it deserved some return
of kindness from you.'
'What "things" do you mean?'
'Circumstances for which neither of us is to blame.'
'I am not conscious of having failed in kindness,' said Amy,
distantly.
'Then that only shows that you have forgotten your old self, and
utterly changed in your feeling to me. When we first came to live
here could you have imagined yourself leaving me alone for long,
miserable days, just because I was suffering under misfortunes?
You have shown too plainly that you don't care to give me the
help even of a kind word. You get away from me as often as you
can, as if to remind me that we have no longer any interests in
common. Other people are your confidants; you speak of me to them
as if I were purposely dragging you down into a mean condition.'
'How can you know what I say about you?'
'Isn't it true?' he asked, flashing an angry glance at her.
'It is not true. Of course I have talked to mother about our
difficulties; how could I help it?'
'And to other people.'
'Not in a way that you could find fault with.'
'In a way that makes me seem contemptible to them. You show them
that I have made you poor and unhappy, and you are glad to have
their sympathy.'
'What you mean is, that I oughtn't to see anyone. There's no
other way of avoiding such a reproach as this. So long as I don't
laugh and sing before people, and assure them that things
couldn't be more hopeful, I shall be asking for their sympathy,
and against you. I can't understand your unreasonableness.'
'I'm afraid there is very little in me that you can understand.
So long as my prospects seemed bright, you could sympathise
readily enough; as soon as ever they darkened, something came
between us. Amy, you haven't done your duty. Your love hasn't
stood the test as it should have done. You have given me no help;
besides the burden of cheerless work I have had to bear that of
your growing coldness. I can't remember one instance when you
have spoken to me as a wife might--a wife who was something more
than a man's housekeeper.'
The passion in his voice and the harshness of the accusation made
her unable to reply.
'You said rightly,' he went on, 'that I have always been kind and
gentle. I never thought I could speak to you or feel to you in
any other way. But I have undergone too much, and you have
deserted me. Surely it was too soon to do that. So long as I
endeavoured my utmost, and loved you the same as ever, you might
have remembered all you once said to me. You might have given me
help, but you haven't cared to.'
The impulses which had part in this outbreak were numerous and
complex. He felt all that he expressed, but at the same time it
seemed to him that he had the choice between two ways of uttering
his emotion--the tenderly appealing and the sternly reproachful:
he took the latter course because it was less natural to him than
the former. His desire was to impress Amy with the bitter
intensity of his sufferings; pathos and loving words seemed to
have lost their power upon her, but perhaps if he yielded to that
other form of passion she would be shaken out of her coldness.
The stress of injured love is always tempted to speech which
seems its contradiction. Reardon had the strangest mixture of
pain and pleasure in flinging out these first words of wrath that
he had ever addressed to Amy; they consoled him under the
humiliating sense of his weakness, and yet he watched with dread
his wife's countenance as she listened to him. He hoped to cause
her pain equal to his own, for then it would be in his power at
once to throw off this disguise and soothe her with every softest
word his heart could suggest. That she had really ceased to love
him he could not, durst not, believe; but his nature demanded
frequent assurance of affection. Amy had abandoned too soon the
caresses of their ardent time; she was absorbed in her maternity,
and thought it enough to be her husband's friend. Ashamed to make
appeal directly for the tenderness she no longer offered, he
accused her of utter indifference, of abandoning him and all but
betraying him, that in self-defence she might show what really
was in her heart.
But Amy made no movement towards him.
'How can you say that I have deserted you?' she returned, with
cold indignation. 'When did I refuse to share your poverty? When
did I grumble at what we have had to go through?'
'Ever since the troubles really began you have let me know what
your thoughts were, even if you didn't speak them. You have never
shared my lot willingly. I can't recall one word of encouragement
from you, but many, many which made the struggle harder for me.'
'Then it would be better for you if I went away altogether, and
left you free to do the best for yourself. If that is what you
mean by all this, why not say it plainly? I won't be a burden to
you. Someone will give me a home.'
'And you would leave me without regret? Your only care would be
that you were still bound to me?'
'You must think of me what you like. I don't care to defend
myself.'
'You won't admit, then, that I have anything to complain of? I
seem to you simply in a bad temper without a cause?'
'To tell you the truth, that's just what I do think. I came here
to ask what I had done that you were angry with me, and you break
out furiously with all sorts of vague reproaches. You have much
to endure, I know that, but it's no reason why you should turn
against me. I have never neglected my duty. Is the duty all on my
side? I believe there are very few wives who would be as patient
as I have been.'
Reardon gazed at her for a moment, then turned away. The distance
between them was greater than he had thought, and now he repented
of having given way to an impulse so alien to his true feelings;
anger only estranged her, whereas by speech of a different kind
he might have won the caress for which he hungered.
Amy, seeing that he would say nothing more, left him to himself.
It grew late in the night. The fire had gone out, but Reardon
still sat in the cold room. Thoughts of self-destruction were
again haunting him, as they had done during the black months of
last year. If he had lost Amy's love, and all through the mental
impotence which would make it hard for him even to earn bread,
why should he still live? Affection for his child had no weight
with him; it was Amy's child rather than his, and he had more
fear than pleasure in the prospect of Willie's growing to
manhood.
He had just heard the workhouse clock strike two, when, without
the warning of a footstep, the door opened. Amy came in; she wore
her dressing-gown, and her hair was arranged for the night.
'Why do you stay here?' she asked.
It was not the same voice as before. He saw that her eyes were
red and swollen.
'Have you been crying, Amy?'
'Never mind. Do you know what time it is?'
He went towards her.
'Why have you been crying?'
'There are many things to cry for.'
'Amy, have you any love for me still, or has poverty robbed me of
it all?'
'I have never said that I didn't love you. Why do you accuse me
of such things?'
He took her in his arms and held her passionately and kissed her
face again and again. Amy's tears broke forth anew.
'Why should we come to such utter ruin?' she sobbed. 'Oh, try,
try if you can't save us even yet! You know without my saying it
that I do love you; it's dreadful to me to think all our happy
life should be at an end, when we thought of such a future
together. Is it impossible? Can't you work as you used to and
succeed as we felt confident you would? Don't despair yet, Edwin;
do, do try, whilst there is still time!'
'Darling, darling--if only I COULD!'
'I have thought of something, dearest. Do as you proposed last
year; find a tenant for the flat whilst we still have a little
money, and then go away into some quiet country place, where you
can get back your health and live for very little, and write
another book--a good book, that'll bring you reputation again. I
and Willie can go and live at mother's for the summer months. Do
this! It would cost you so little, living alone, wouldn't it?
You would know that I was well cared for; mother would be willing
to have me for a few months, and it's easy to explain that your
health has failed, that you're obliged to go away for a time.'
'But why shouldn't you go with me, if we are to let this place?'
'We shouldn't have enough money. I want to free your mind from
the burden whilst you are writing. And what is before us if we go
on in this way? You don't think you will get much for what you're
writing now, do you?'
Reardon shook his head.
'Then how can we live even till the end of the year? Something
must be done, you know. If we get into poor lodgings, what hope
is there that you'll be able to write anything good?'
'But, Amy, I have no faith in my power of--'
'Oh, it would be different! A few days--a week or a fortnight of
real holiday in this spring weather. Go to some seaside place.
How is it possible that all your talent should have left you?
It's only that you have been so anxious and in such poor health.
You say I don't love you, but I have thought and thought what
would be best for you to do, how you could save yourself. How can
you sink down to the position of a poor clerk in some office?
That CAN'T be your fate, Edwin; it's incredible. Oh, after such
bright hopes, make one more effort! Have you forgotten that we
were to go to the South together--you were to take me to Italy
and Greece? How can that ever be if you fail utterly in
literature? How can you ever hope to earn more than bare
sustenance at any other kind of work?'
He all but lost consciousness of her words in gazing at the face
she held up to his.
'You love me? Say again that you love me!'
'Dear, I love you with all my heart. But I am so afraid of the
future. I can't bear poverty; I have found that I can't bear it.
And I dread to think of your becoming only an ordinary man--'
Reardon laughed.
'But I am NOT "only an ordinary man," Amy! If I never write
another line, that won't undo what I have done. It's little
enough, to be sure; but you know what I am. Do you only love the
author in me? Don't you think of me apart from all that I may do
or not do? If I had to earn my living as a clerk, would that make
me a clerk in soul?'
'You shall not fall to that! It would be too bitter a shame to
lose all you have gained in these long years of work. Let me plan
for you; do as I wish. You are to be what we hoped from the
first. Take all the summer months. How long will it be before you
can finish this short book?'
'A week or two.'
'Then finish it, and see what you can get for it. And try at once
to find a tenant to take this place off our hands; that would be
twenty-five pounds saved for the rest of the year. You could live
on so little by yourself, couldn't you?'
'Oh, on ten shillings a week, if need be.'
'But not to starve yourself, you know. Don't you feel that my
plan is a good one? When I came to you to-night I meant to speak
of this, but you were so cruel--'
'Forgive me, dearest love! I was half a madman. You have been so
cold to me for a long time.'
'I have been distracted. It was as if we were drawing nearer and
nearer to the edge of a cataract.'
'Have you spoken to your mother about this?' he asked uneasily.
'No--not exactly this. But I know she will help us in this way.'
He had seated himself and was holding her in his arms, his face
laid against hers.
'I shall dread to part from you, Amy. That's such a dangerous
thing to do. It may mean that we are never to live as husband and
wife again.'
'But how could it? It's just to prevent that danger. If we go on
here till we have no money--what's before us then? Wretched
lodgings at the best. And I am afraid to think of that. I can't
trust myself if that should come to pass.'
'What do you mean?' he asked anxiously.
'I hate poverty so. It brings out all the worst things in me; you
know I have told you that before, Edwin?'
'But you would never forget that you are my wife?'
'I hope not. But--I can't think of it; I can't face it! That
would be the very worst that can befall us, and we are going to
try our utmost to escape from it. Was there ever a man who did as
much as you have done in literature and then sank into hopeless
poverty?'
'Oh, many!'
'But at your age, I mean. Surely not at your age?'
'I'm afraid there have been such poor fellows. Think how often
one hears of hopeful beginnings, new reputations, and then--you
hear no more. Of course it generally means that the man has gone
into a different career; but sometimes, sometimes--'
'What?'
'The abyss.' He pointed downward. 'Penury and despair and a
miserable death.'
'Oh, but those men haven't a wife and child! They would struggle
--'
'Darling, they do struggle. But it's as if an ever-increasing
weight were round their necks; it drags them lower and lower. The
world has no pity on a man who can't do or produce something it
thinks worth money. You may be a divine poet, and if some good
fellow doesn't take pity on you you will starve by the roadside.
Society is as blind and brutal as fate. I have no right to
complain of my own ill-fortune; it's my own fault (in a sense)
that I can't continue as well as I began; if I could write books
as good as the early ones I should earn money. For all that, it's
hard that I must be kicked aside as worthless just because I
don't know a trade.'
'It shan't be! I have only to look into your face to know that
you will succeed after all. Yours is the kind of face that people
come to know in portraits.'
He kissed her hair, and her eyes, and her mouth.
'How well I remember your saying that before! Why have you grown
so good to me all at once, my Amy? Hearing you speak like that I
feel there's nothing beyond my reach. But I dread to go away from
you. If I find that it is hopeless; if I am alone somewhere, and
know that the effort is all in vain--'
'Then?'
'Well, I can leave you free. If I can't support you, it will be
only just that I should give you back your freedom.'
'I don't understand--'
She raised herself and looked into his eyes.
'We won't talk of that. If you bid me go on with the struggle, I
shall do so.'
Amy had hidden her face, and lay silently in his arms for a
minute or two. Then she murmured:
'It is so cold here, and so late. Come!'
'So early. There goes three o'clock.'
The next day they talked much of this new project. As there was
sunshine Amy accompanied her husband for his walk in the
afternoon; it was long since they had been out together. An open
carriage that passed, followed by two young girls on horseback,
gave a familiar direction to Reardon's thoughts.
'If one were as rich as those people! They pass so close to us;
they see us, and we see them; but the distance between is
infinity. They don't belong to the same world as we poor
wretches. They see everything in a different light; they have
powers which would seem supernatural if we were suddenly endowed
with them.'
'Of course,' assented his companion with a sigh.
'Just fancy, if one got up in the morning with the thought that
no reasonable desire that occurred to one throughout the day need
remain ungratified! And that it would be the same, any day and
every day, to the end of one's life! Look at those houses; every
detail, within and without, luxurious. To have such a home as
that!'
'And they are empty creatures who live there.'
'They do live, Amy, at all events. Whatever may be their
faculties, they all have free scope. I have often stood staring
at houses like these until I couldn't believe that the people
owning them were mere human beings like myself. The power of
money is so hard to realise; one who has never had it marvels at
the completeness with which it transforms every detail of life.
Compare what we call our home with that of rich people; it moves
one to scornful laughter. I have no sympathy with the stoical
point of view; between wealth and poverty is just the difference
between the whole man and the maimed. If my lower limbs are
paralysed I may still be able to think, but then there is such a
thing in life as walking. As a poor devil I may live nobly; but
one happens to be made with faculties of enjoyment, and those
have to fall into atrophy. To be sure, most rich people don't
understand their happiness; if they did, they would move and talk
like gods--which indeed they are.'
Amy's brow was shadowed. A wise man, in Reardon's position, would
not have chosen this subject to dilate upon.
'The difference,' he went on, 'between the man with money and the
man without is simply this: the one thinks, "How shall I use my
life?" and the other, "How shall I keep myself alive?" A
physiologist ought to be able to discover some curious
distinction between the brain of a person who has never given a
thought to the means of subsistence, and that of one who has
never known a day free from such cares. There must be some
special cerebral development representing the mental anguish kept
up by poverty.'
'I should say,' put in Amy, 'that it affects every function of
the brain. It isn't a special point of suffering, but a misery
that colours every thought.'
'True. Can I think of a single subject in all the sphere of my
experience without the consciousness that I see it through the
medium of poverty? I have no enjoyment which isn't tainted by
that thought,. and I can suffer no pain which it doesn't
increase. The curse of poverty is to the modern world just what
that of slavery was to the ancient. Rich and destitute stand to
each other as free man and bond. You remember the line of Homer I
have often quoted about the demoralising effect of enslavement;
poverty degrades in the same way.'
'It has had its effect upon me--I know that too well,' said Amy,
with bitter frankness.
Reardon glanced at her, and wished to make some reply, but he
could not say what was in his thoughts.
He worked on at his story. Before he had reached the end of it,
'Margaret Home' was published, and one day arrived a parcel
containing the six copies to which an author is traditionally
entitled. Reardon was not so old in authorship that he could open
the packet without a slight flutter of his pulse. The book was
tastefully got up; Amy exclaimed with pleasure as she caught
sight of the cover and lettering:
'It may succeed, Edwin. It doesn't look like a book that fails,
does it?'
She laughed at her own childishness. But Reardon had opened one
of the volumes, and was glancing over the beginning of a chapter.
'Good God!' he cried. 'What hellish torment it was to write that
page! I did it one morning when the fog was so thick that I had
to light the lamp. It brings cold sweat to my forehead to read
the words. And to think that people will skim over it without a
suspicion of what it cost the writer!--What execrable style! A
potboy could write better narrative.'
'Who are to have copies?'
'No one, if I could help it. But I suppose your mother will
expect one?'
'And--Milvain?'
'I suppose so,' he replied indifferently. 'But not unless he asks
for it. Poor old Biffen, of course; though it'll make him despise
me. Then one for ourselves. That leaves two--to light the fire
with. We have been rather short of fire-paper since we couldn't
afford our daily newspaper.'
'Will you let me give one to Mrs Carter?'
'As you please.'
He took one set and added it to the row of his productions which
stood on a topmost shelf Amy laid her hand upon his shoulder and
contemplated the effect of this addition.
'The works of Edwin Reardon,' she said, with a smile.
'The work, at all events--rather a different thing,
unfortunately. Amy, if only I were back at the time when I wrote
"On Neutral Ground," and yet had you with me! How full my mind
was in those days! Then I had only to look, and I saw something;
now I strain my eyes, but can make out nothing more than nebulous
grotesques. I used to sit down knowing so well what I had to say;
now I strive to invent, and never come at anything. Suppose you
pick up a needle with warm, supple fingers; try to do it when
your hand is stiff and numb with cold; there's the difference
between my manner of work in those days and what it is now.'
'But you are going to get back your health. You will write better
than ever.'
'We shall see. Of course there was a great deal of miserable
struggle even then, but I remember it as insignificant compared
with the hours of contented work. I seldom did anything in the
mornings except think and prepare; towards evening I felt myself
getting ready, and at last I sat down with the first lines
buzzing in my head. And I used to read a great deal at the same
time. Whilst I was writing "On Neutral Ground" I went solidly
through the "Divina Commedia," a canto each day. Very often I
wrote till after midnight, but occasionally I got my quantum
finished much earlier, and then I used to treat myself to a
ramble about the streets. I can recall exactly the places where
some of my best ideas came to me. You remember the scene in
Prendergast's lodgings? That flashed on me late one night as I
was turning out of Leicester Square into the slum that leads to
Clare Market; ah, how well I remember! And I went home to my
garret in a state of delightful fever, and scribbled notes
furiously before going to bed.'
'Don't trouble; it'll all come back to you.'
'But in those days I hadn't to think of money. I could look
forward and see provision for my needs. I never asked myself what
I should get for the book; I assure you, that never came into my
head--never. The work was done for its own sake. No hurry to
finish it; if I felt that I wasn't up to the mark, I just waited
till the better mood returned. "On Neutral Ground" took me seven
months; now I have to write three volumes in nine weeks, with the
lash stinging on my back if I miss a day.'
He brooded for a little.
'I suppose there must be some rich man somewhere who has read one
or two of my books with a certain interest. If only I could
encounter him and tell him plainly what a cursed state I am in,
perhaps he would help me to some means of earning a couple of
pounds a week. One has heard of such things.'
'In the old days.'
'Yes. I doubt if it ever happens now. Coleridge wouldn't so
easily meet with his Gillman nowadays. Well, I am not a
Coleridge, and I don't ask to be lodged under any man's roof; but
if I could earn money enough to leave me good long evenings
unspoilt by fear of the workhouse--'
Amy turned away, and presently went to look after her little boy.
A few days after this they had a visit from Milvain. He came
about ten o'clock in the evening.
'I'm not going to stay,' he announced. 'But where's my copy of
"Margaret Home"? I am to have one, I suppose?'
'I have no particular desire that you should read it,' returned
Reardon.
'But I HAVE read it, my dear fellow. Got it from the library on
the day of publication; I had a suspicion that you wouldn't send
me a copy. But I must possess your opera omnia.'
'Here it is. Hide it away somewhere.--You may as well sit down
for a few minutes.'
'I confess I should like to talk about the book, if you don't
mind. It isn't so utterly and damnably bad as you make out, you
know. The misfortune was that you had to make three volumes of
it. If I had leave to cut it down to one, it would do you credit.
The motive is good enough.'
'Yes. Just good enough to show how badly it's managed.'
Milvain began to expatiate on that well-worn topic, the evils of
the three-volume system.
'A triple-headed monster, sucking the blood of English novelists.
One might design an allegorical cartoon for a comic literary
paper. By-the-bye, why doesn't such a thing exist?--a weekly
paper treating of things and people literary in a facetious
spirit. It would be caviare to the general, but might be
supported, I should think. The editor would probably be
assassinated, though.'
'For anyone in my position,' said Reardon, 'how is it possible to
abandon the three volumes? It is a question of payment. An author
of moderate repute may live on a yearly three-volume novel--I
mean the man who is obliged to sell his book out and out, and who
gets from one to two hundred pounds for it. But he would have to
produce four one-volume novels to obtain the same income; and I
doubt whether he could get so many published within the twelve
months. And here comes in the benefit of the libraries; from the
commercial point of view the libraries are indispensable. Do you
suppose the public would support the present number of novelists
if each book had to be purchased? A sudden change to that system
would throw three-fourths of the novelists out of work.'
'But there's no reason why the libraries shouldn't circulate
novels in one volume.'
'Profits would be less, I suppose. People would take the minimum
subscription.'
'Well, to go to the concrete, what about your own one-volume?'
'All but done.'
'And you'll offer it to Jedwood? Go and see him personally. He's
a very decent fellow, I believe.'
Milvain stayed only half an hour. The days when he was wont to
sit and talk at large through a whole evening were no more;
partly because of his diminished leisure, but also for a less
simple reason--the growth of something like estrangement between
him and Reardon.
'You didn't mention your plans,' said Amy, when the visitor had
been gone some time.
'No.'
Reardon was content with the negative, and his wife made no
further remark.
The result of advertising the flat was that two or three persons
called to make inspection. One of them, a man of military
appearance, showed himself anxious to come to terms; he was
willing to take the tenement from next quarter-day (June), but
wished, if possible, to enter upon possession sooner than that.
'Nothing could be better,' said Amy in colloquy with her husband.
'If he will pay for the extra time, we shall be only too glad.'
Reardon mused and looked gloomy. He could not bring himself to
regard the experiment before him with hopefulness, and his heart
sank at the thought of parting from Amy.
'You are very anxious to get rid of me,' he answered, trying to
smile.
'Yes, I am,' she exclaimed; 'but simply for your own good, as you
know very well.'
'Suppose I can't sell this book?'
'You will have a few pounds. Send your "Pliny" article to The
Wayside. If you come to an end of all your money, mother shall
lend you some.'
'I am not very likely to do much work in that case.'
'Oh, but you will sell the book. You'll get twenty pounds for it,
and that alone would keep you for three months. Think--three
months of the best part of the year at the seaside! Oh, you will
do wonders!'
The furniture was to be housed at Mrs Yule's. Neither of them
durst speak of selling it; that would have sounded too ominous.
As for the locality of Reardon's retreat, Amy herself had
suggested Worthing, which she knew from a visit a few years ago;
the advantages were its proximity to London, and the likelihood
that very cheap lodgings could be found either in the town or
near it. One room would suffice for the hapless author, and his
expenses, beyond a trifling rent, would be confined to mere food.
Oh yes, he might manage on considerably less than a pound a week.
Amy was in much better spirits than for a long time; she appeared
to have convinced herself that there was no doubt of the issue of
this perilous scheme; that her husband would write a notable
book, receive a satisfactory price for it, and so re-establish
their home. Yet her moods varied greatly. After all, there was
delay in the letting of the flat, and this caused her annoyance.
It was whilst the negotiations were still pending that she made
her call upon Maud and Dora Milvain; Reardon did not know of her
intention to visit them until it had been carried out. She
mentioned what she had done in almost a casual manner.
'I had to get it over,' she said, when Reardon exhibited
surprise, 'and I don't think I made a very favourable
impression.'
'You told them, I suppose, what we are going to do?'
'No; I didn't say a word of it.'
'But why not? It can't be kept a secret. Milvain will have heard
of it already, I should think, from your mother.'
'From mother? But it's the rarest thing for him to go there. Do
you imagine he is a constant visitor? I thought it better to say
nothing until the thing is actually done. Who knows what may
happen?'
She was in a strange, nervous state, and Reardon regarded her
uneasily. He talked very little in these days, and passed hours
in dark reverie. His book was finished, and he awaited the
publisher's decision.
One of Reardon's minor worries at this time was the fear that by
chance he might come upon a review of 'Margaret Home.' Since the
publication of his first book he had avoided as far as possible
all knowledge of what the critics had to say about him; his
nervous temperament could not bear the agitation of reading these
remarks, which, however inept, define an author and his work to
so many people incapable of judging for themselves. No man or
woman could tell him anything in the way of praise or blame which
he did not already know quite well; commendation was pleasant,
but it so often aimed amiss, and censure was for the most part so
unintelligent. In the case of this latest novel he dreaded the
sight of a review as he would have done a gash from a rusty
knife. The judgments could not but be damnatory, and their
expression in journalistic phrase would disturb his mind with
evil rancour. No one would have insight enough to appreciate the
nature and cause of his book's demerits; every comment would be
wide of the mark; sneer, ridicule, trite objection, would but
madden him with a sense of injustice.
His position was illogical--one result of the moral weakness
which was allied with his aesthetic sensibility. Putting aside
the worthlessness of current reviewing, the critic of an isolated
book has of course nothing to do with its author's state of mind
and body any more than with the condition of his purse. Reardon
would have granted this, but he could not command his emotions.
He was in passionate revolt against the base necessities which
compelled him to put forth work in no way representing his
healthy powers, his artistic criterion. Not he had written this
book, but his accursed poverty. To assail him as the author was,
in his feeling, to be guilty of brutal insult. When by ill-hap a
notice in one of the daily papers came under his eyes, it made
his blood boil with a fierceness of hatred only possible to him
in a profoundly morbid condition; he could not steady his hand
for half an hour after. Yet this particular critic only said what
was quite true--that the novel contained not a single striking
scene and not one living character; Reardon had expressed himself
about it in almost identical terms. But he saw himself in the
position of one sickly and all but destitute man against a
relentless world, and every blow directed against him appeared
dastardly. He could have cried 'Coward!' to the writer who
wounded him.
The would-be sensational story which was now in Mr Jedwood's
hands had perhaps more merit than 'Margaret Home'; its brevity,
and the fact that nothing more was aimed at than a concatenation
of brisk events, made it not unreadable. But Reardon thought of
it with humiliation. If it were published as his next work it
would afford final proof to such sympathetic readers as he might
still retain that he had hopelessly written himself out, and was
now endeavouring to adapt himself to an inferior public. In spite
of his dire necessities he now and then hoped that Jedwood might
refuse the thing.
At moments he looked with sanguine eagerness to the three or four
months he was about to spend in retirement, but such impulses
were the mere outcome of his nervous disease. He had no faith in
himself under present conditions; the permanence of his
sufferings would mean the sure destruction of powers he still
possessed, though they were not at his command. Yet he believed
that his mind was made up as to the advisability of trying this
last resource; he was impatient for the day of departure, and in
the interval merely killed time as best he might. He could not
read, and did not attempt to gather ideas for his next book; the
delusion that his mind was resting made an excuse to him for the
barrenness of day after day. His 'Pliny' article had been
despatched to The Wayside, and would possibly be accepted. But he
did not trouble himself about this or other details; it was as
though his mind could do nothing more than grasp the bald fact of
impending destitution; with the steps towards that final stage he
seemed to have little concern.
One evening he set forth to make a call upon Harold Biffen, whom
he had not seen since the realist called to acknowledge the
receipt of a copy of 'Margaret Home' left at his lodgings when he
was out. Biffen resided in Clipstone Street, a thoroughfare
discoverable in the dim district which lies between Portland
Place and Tottenham Court Road. On knocking at the door of the
lodging-house, Reardon learnt that his friend was at home. He
ascended to the third storey and tapped at a door which allowed
rays of lamplight to issue from great gaps above and below. A
sound of voices came from within, and on entering he perceived
that Biffen was engaged with a pupil.
'They didn't tell me you had a visitor,' he said. 'I'll call
again later.'
'No need to go away,' replied Biffen, coming forward to shake
hands. 'Take a book for a few minutes. Mr Baker won't mind.'
It was a very small room, with a ceiling so low that the tall
lodger could only just stand upright with safety; perhaps three
inches intervened between his head and the plaster, which was
cracked, grimy, cobwebby. A small scrap of weedy carpet lay in
front of the fireplace; elsewhere the chinky boards were
unconcealed. The furniture consisted of a round table, which kept
such imperfect balance on its central support that the lamp
entrusted to it looked in a dangerous position, of three small
cane-bottomed chairs, a small wash-hand-stand with sundry rude
appurtenances, and a chair-bedstead which the tenant opened at
the hour of repose and spread with certain primitive trappings at
present kept in a cupboard. There was no bookcase, but a few
hundred battered volumes were arranged some on the floor and some
on a rough chest. The weather was too characteristic of an
English spring to make an empty grate agreeable to the eye, but
Biffen held it an axiom that fires were unseasonable after the
first of May.
The individual referred to as Mr Baker, who sat at the table in
the attitude of a student, was a robust, hard-featured,
black-haired young man of two-or three-and-twenty; judging from
his weather-beaten cheeks and huge hands, as well as from the
garb he wore, one would have presumed that study was not his
normal occupation. There was something of the riverside about
him; he might be a dockman, or even a bargeman. He looked
intelligent, however, and bore himself with much modesty.
'Now do endeavour to write in shorter sentences,' said Biffen,
who sat down by him and resumed the lesson, Reardon having taken
up a volume. 'This isn't bad--it isn't bad at all, I assure you;
but you have put all you had to say into three appalling periods,
whereas you ought to have made about a dozen.'
'There it is, sir; there it is!' exclaimed the man, smoothing his
wiry hair. 'I can't break it up. The thoughts come in a lump, if
I may say so. To break it up--there's the art of compersition.'
Reardon could not refrain from a glance at the speaker, and
Biffen, whose manner was very grave and kindly, turned to his
friend with an explanation of the difficulties with which the
student was struggling.
'Mr Baker is preparing for the examination of the outdoor Customs
Department. One of the subjects is English composition, and
really, you know, that isn't quite such a simple matter as some
people think.'
Baker beamed upon the visitor with a homely, good-natured smile.
'I can make headway with the other things, sir,' he said,
striking the table lightly with his clenched fist. 'There's
handwriting, there's orthography, there's arithmetic; I'm not
afraid of one of 'em, as Mr Biffen 'll tell you, sir. But when it
comes to compersition, that brings out the sweat on my forehead,
I do assure you.
'You're not the only man in that case, Mr Baker,' replied
Reardon.
'It's thought a tough job in general, is it, sir?'
'It is indeed.'
'Two hundred marks for compersition,' continued the man. 'Now how
many would they have given me for this bit of a try, Mr Biffen?'
'Well, well; I can't exactly say. But you improve; you improve,
decidedly. Peg away for another week or two.'
'Oh, don't fear me, sir! I'm not easily beaten when I've set my
mind on a thing, and I'll break up the compersition yet, see if I
don't!'
Again his fist descended upon the table in a way that reminded
one of the steam-hammer cracking a nut.
The lesson proceeded for about ten minutes, Reardon, under
pretence of reading, following it with as much amusement as
anything could excite in him nowadays. At length Mr Baker stood
up, collected his papers and books, and seemed about to depart;
but, after certain uneasy movements and glances, he said to
Biffen in a subdued voice:
'Perhaps I might speak to you outside the door a minute, sir?'
He and the teacher went out, the door closed, and Reardon heard
sounds of muffled conversation. In a minute or two a heavy
footstep descended the stairs, and Biffen re-entered the room.
'Now that's a good, honest fellow,' he said, in an amused tone.
'It's my pay-night, but he didn't like to fork out money before
you. A very unusual delicacy in a man of that standing. He pays
me sixpence for an hour's lesson; that brings me two shillings a
week. I sometimes feel a little ashamed to take his money, but
then the fact is he's a good deal better off than I am.'
'Will he get a place in the Customs, do you think?'
'Oh, I've no doubt of it. If it seemed unlikely, I should have
told him so before this. To be sure, that's a point I have often
to consider, and once or twice my delicacy has asserted itself at
the expense of my pocket. There was a poor consumptive lad came
to me not long ago and wanted Latin lessons; talked about going
in for the London Matric., on his way to the pulpit. I couldn't
stand it. After a lesson or two I told him his cough was too bad,
and he had no right to study until he got into better health;
that was better, I think, than saying plainly he had no chance on
earth. But the food I bought with his money was choking me. Oh
yes, Baker will make his way right enough. A good, modest fellow.
You noticed how respectfully he spoke to me? It doesn't make any
difference to him that I live in a garret like this; I'm a man of
education, and he can separate this fact from my surroundings.'
'Biffen, why don't you get some decent position? Surely you
might.'
'What position? No school would take me; I have neither
credentials nor conventional clothing. For the same reason I
couldn't get a private tutorship in a rich family. No, no; it's
all right. I keep myself alive, and I get on with my work.--
By-the-bye, I've decided to write a book called "Mr Bailey,
Grocer."'
'What's the idea?'
'An objectionable word, that. Better say: "What's the reality?"
Well, Mr Bailey is a grocer in a little street by here. I have
dealt with him for a long time, and as he's a talkative fellow
I've come to know a good deal about him and his history. He's
fond of talking about the struggle he had in his first year of
business. He had no money of his own, but he married a woman who
had saved forty-five pounds out of a cat's-meat business. You
should see that woman! A big, coarse, squinting creature; at the
time of the marriage she was a widow and forty-two years old. Now
I'm going to tell the true story of Mr Bailey's marriage and of
his progress as a grocer. It'll be a great book--a great book!'
He walked up and down the room, fervid with his conception.
'There'll be nothing bestial in it, you know. The decently
ignoble--as I've so often said. The thing'll take me a year at
least. I shall do it slowly, lovingly. One volume, of course; the
length of the ordinary French novel. There's something fine in
the title, don't you think? "Mr Bailey, Grocer"!'
'I envy you, old fellow,' said Reardon, sighing. 'You have the
right fire in you; you have zeal and energy. Well, what do you
think I have decided to do?'
'I should like to hear.'
Reardon gave an account of his project. The other listened
gravely, seated across a chair with his arms on the back.
'Your wife is in agreement with this?'
'Oh yes.' He could not bring himself to say that Amy had
suggested it. 'She has great hopes that the change will be just
what I need.'
'I should say so too--if you were going to rest. But if you have
to set to work at once it seems to me very doubtful.'
'Never mind. For Heaven's sake don't discourage me! If this fails
I think--upon my soul, I think I shall kill myself.'
'Pooh!' exclaimed Biffen, gently. 'With a wife like yours?'
'Just because of that.'
'No, no; there'll be some way out of it. By-the-bye, I passed Mrs
Reardon this morning, but she didn't see me. It was in Tottenham
Court Road, and Milvain was with her. I felt myself too seedy in
appearance to stop and speak.'
'In Tottenham Court Road?'
That was not the detail of the story which chiefly held Reardon's
attention, yet he did not purposely make a misleading remark. His
mind involuntarily played this trick.
'I only saw them just as they were passing,' pursued Biffen. 'Oh,
I knew I had something to tell you! Have you heard that Whelpdale
is going to be married?'
Reardon shook his head in a preoccupied way.
'I had a note from him this morning, telling me. He asked me to
look him up to-night, and he'd let me know all about it. Let's go
together, shall we?'
'I don't feel much in the humour for Whelpdale. I'll walk with
you, and go on home.'
'No, no; come and see him. It'll do you good to talk a little.--
But I must positively eat a mouthful before we go. I'm afraid you
won't care to join?'
He opened his cupboard, and brought out a loaf of bread and a
saucer of dripping, with salt and pepper.
'Better dripping this than I've had for a long time. I get it at
Mr Bailey's--that isn't his real name, of course. He assures me
it comes from a large hotel where his wife's sister is a
kitchen-maid, and that it's perfectly pure; they very often mix
flour with it, you know, and perhaps more obnoxious things that
an economical man doesn't care to reflect upon. Now, with a
little pepper and salt, this bread and dripping is as appetising
food as I know. I often make a dinner of it.'
'I have done the same myself before now. Do you ever buy pease-
pudding?'
'I should think so! I get magnificent pennyworths at a shop in
Cleveland Street, of a very rich quality indeed. Excellent
faggots they have there, too. I'll give you a supper of them some
night before you go.'
Biffen rose to enthusiasm in the contemplation of these dainties.
He ate his bread and dripping with knife and fork; this always
made the fare seem more substantial.
'Is it very cold out?' he asked, rising from the table. 'Need I
put my overcoat on?'
This overcoat, purchased second-hand three years ago, hung on a
door-nail. Comparative ease of circumstances had restored to the
realist his ordinary indoor garment--a morning coat of the cloth
called diagonal, rather large for him, but in better preservation
than the other articles of his attire.
Reardon judging the overcoat necessary, his friend carefully
brushed it and drew it on with a caution which probably had
reference to starting seams. Then he put into the pocket his
pipe, his pouch, his tobacco-stopper, and his matches, murmuring
to himself a Greek iambic line which had come into his head a
propos of nothing obvious.
'Go out,' he said, 'and then I'll extinguish the lamp. Mind the
second step down, as usual.'
They issued into Clipstone Street, turned northward, crossed
Euston Road, and came into Albany Street, where, in a house of
decent exterior, Mr Whelpdale had his present abode. A girl who
opened the door requested them to walk up to the topmost storey.
A cheery voice called to them from within the room at which they
knocked. This lodging spoke more distinctly of civilisation than
that inhabited by Biffen; it contained the minimum supply of
furniture needed to give it somewhat the appearance of a study,
but the articles were in good condition. One end of the room was
concealed by a chintz curtain; scrutiny would have discovered
behind the draping the essential equipments of a bedchamber.
Mr Whelpdale sat by the fire, smoking a cigar. He was a plain-
featured but graceful and refined-looking man of thirty, with
wavy chestnut hair and a trimmed beard which became him well. At
present he wore a dressing-gown and was without collar.
'Welcome, gents both!' he cried facetiously. 'Ages since I saw
you, Reardon. I've been reading your new book. Uncommonly good
things in it here and there--uncommonly good.'
Whelpdale had the weakness of being unable to tell a disagreeable
truth, and a tendency to flattery which had always made Reardon
rather uncomfortable in his society. Though there was no need
whatever of his mentioning 'Margaret Home,' he preferred to frame
smooth fictions rather than keep a silence which might be
construed as unfavourable criticism.
'In the last volume,' he went on, 'I think there are one or two
things as good as you ever did; I do indeed.'
Reardon made no acknowledgment of these remarks. They irritated
him, for he knew their insincerity. Biffen, understanding his
friend's silence, struck in on another subject.
'Who is this lady of whom you write to me?'
'Ah, quite a story! I'm going to be married, Reardon. A serious
marriage. Light your pipes, and I'll tell you all about it.
Startled you, I suppose, Biffen? Unlikely news, eh? Some people
would call it a rash step, I dare say. We shall just take another
room in this house, that's all. I think I can count upon an
income of a couple of guineas a week, and I have plans without
end that are pretty sure to bring in coin.'
Reardon did not care to smoke, but Biffen lit his pipe and waited
with grave interest for the romantic narrative. Whenever he heard
of a poor man's persuading a woman to share his poverty he was
eager of details; perchance he himself might yet have that
heavenly good fortune.
'Well,' began Whelpdale, crossing his legs and watching a wreath
he had just puffed from the cigar, 'you know all about my
literary advisership. The business goes on reasonably well. I'm
going to extend it in ways I'll explain to you presently. About
six weeks ago I received a letter from a lady who referred to my
advertisements, and said she had the manuscript of a novel which
she would like to offer for my opinion. Two publishers had
refused it, but one with complimentary phrases, and she hoped it
mightn't be impossible to put the thing into acceptable shape. Of
course I wrote optimistically, and the manuscript was sent to me.
Well, it wasn't actually bad--by Jove! you should have seen some
of the things I have been asked to recommend to publishers! It
wasn't hopelessly bad by any means, and I gave serious thought to
it. After exchange of several letters I asked the authoress to
come and see me, that we might save postage stamps and talk
things over. She hadn't given me her address: I had to direct to
a stationer's in Bayswater. She agreed to come, and did come. I
had formed a sort of idea, but of course I was quite wrong.
Imagine my excitement when there came in a very beautiful girl, a
tremendously interesting girl, about one-and-twenty--just the
kind of girl that most strongly appeals to me; dark, pale, rather
consumptive-looking, slender--no, there's no describing her;
there really isn't! You must wait till you see her.'
'I hope the consumption was only a figure of speech,' remarked
Biffen in his grave way.
'Oh, there's nothing serious the matter, I think. A slight cough,
poor girl.'
'The deuce!' interjected Reardon.
'Oh, nothing, nothing! It'll be all right. Well, now, of course
we talked over the story--in good earnest, you know. Little by
little I induced her to speak of herself--this, after she'd come
two or three times--and she told me lamentable things. She was
absolutely alone in London, and hadn't had sufficient food for
weeks; had sold all she could of her clothing; and so on. Her
home was in Birmingham; she had been driven away by the brutality
of a stepmother; a friend lent her a few pounds, and she came to
London with an unfinished novel. Well, you know, this kind of
thing would be enough to make me soft-hearted to any girl, let
alone one who, to begin with, was absolutely my ideal. When she
began to express a fear that I was giving too much time to her,
that she wouldn't be able to pay my fees, and so on, I could
restrain myself no longer. On the spot I asked her to marry me. I
didn't practise any deception, mind. I told her I was a poor
devil who had failed as a realistic novelist and was earning
bread in haphazard ways; and I explained frankly that I thought
we might carry on various kinds of business together: she might
go on with her novel-writing, and--so on. But she was frightened;
I had been too abrupt. That's a fault of mine, you know; but I
was so confoundedly afraid of losing her. And I told her as much,
plainly.'
Biffen smiled.
'This would be exciting,' he said, 'if we didn't know the end of
the story.'
'Yes. Pity I didn't keep it a secret. Well, she wouldn't say yes,
but I could see that she didn't absolutely say no. "In any case,"
I said, "you'll let me see you often? Fees be hanged! I'll work
day and night for you. I'll do my utmost to get your novel
accepted." And I implored her to let me lend her a little money.
It was very difficult to persuade her, but at last she accepted a
few shillings. I could see in her face that she was hungry. Just
imagine! A beautiful girl absolutely hungry; it drove me frantic!
But that was a great point gained. After that we saw each other
almost every day, and at last--she consented! Did indeed! I can
hardly believe it yet. We shall be married in a fortnight's
time.'
'I congratulate you,' said Reardon.
'So do I,' sighed Biffen.
'The day before yesterday she went to Birmingham to see her
father and tell him all about the affair. I agreed with her it
was as well; the old fellow isn't badly off; and he may forgive
her for running away, though he's under his wife's thumb, it
appears. I had a note yesterday. She had gone to a friend's house
for the first day. I hoped to have heard again this morning--must
to-morrow, in any case. I live, as you may imagine, in wild
excitement. Of course, if the old man stumps up a wedding
present, all the better. But I don't care; we'll make a living
somehow. What do you think I'm writing just now? An author's
Guide. You know the kind of thing; they sell splendidly. Of
course I shall make it a good advertisement of my business. Then
I have a splendid idea. I'm going to advertise: "Novel-writing
taught in ten lessons!" What do you think of that? No swindle;
not a bit of it. I am quite capable of giving the ordinary man or
woman ten very useful lessons. I've been working out the scheme;
it would amuse you vastly, Reardon. The first lesson deals with
the question of subjects, local colour--that kind of thing. I
gravely advise people, if they possibly can, to write of the
wealthy middle class; that's the popular subject, you know. Lords
and ladies are all very well, but the real thing to take is a
story about people who have no titles, but live in good
Philistine style. I urge study of horsey matters especially;
that's very important. You must be well up, too, in military
grades, know about Sandhurst, and so on. Boating is an important
topic. You see? Oh, I shall make a great thing of this. I shall
teach my wife carefully, and then let her advertise lessons to
girls; they'll prefer coming to a woman, you know.'
Biffen leant back and laughed noisily.
'How much shall you charge for the course?' asked Reardon.
'That'll depend. I shan't refuse a guinea or two; but some people
may be made to pay five, perhaps.'
Someone knocked at the door, and a voice said:
'A letter for you, Mr Whelpdale.'
He started up, and came back into the room with face illuminated.
'Yes, it's from Birmingham; posted this morning. Look what an
exquisite hand she writes!'
He tore open the envelope. In delicacy Reardon and Biffen averted
their eyes. There was silence for a minute, then a strange
ejaculation from Whelpdale caused his friends to look up at him.
He had gone pale, and was frowning at the sheet of paper which
trembled in his hand.
'No bad news, I hope?' Biffen ventured to say.
Whelpdale let himself sink into a chair.
'Now if this isn't too bad!' he exclaimed in a thick voice. 'If
this isn't monstrously unkind! I never heard anything so gross as
this--never!'
The two waited, trying not to smile.
'She writes--that she has met an old lover--in Birmingham--that
it was with him she had quarrelled-not with her father at all--
that she ran away to annoy him and frighten him--that she has
made it up again, and they're going to be married!'
He let the sheet fall, and looked so utterly woebegone that his
friends at once exerted themselves to offer such consolation as
the case admitted of. Reardon thought better of Whelpdale for
this emotion; he had not believed him capable of it.
'It isn't a case of vulgar cheating!' cried the forsaken one
presently. 'Don't go away thinking that. She writes in real
distress and penitence--she does indeed. Oh, the devil! Why did I
let her go to Birmingham? A fortnight more, and I should have had
her safe. But it's just like my luck. Do you know that this is
the third time I've been engaged to be married?--no, by Jove, the
fourth! And every time the girl has got out of it at the last
moment. What an unlucky beast I am! A girl who was positively my
ideal! I haven't even a photograph of her to show you; but you'd
be astonished at her face. Why, in the devil's name, did I let
her go to Birmingham?'
The visitors had risen. They felt uncomfortable, for it seemed as
if Whelpdale might find vent for his distress in tears.
'We had better leave you,' suggested Biffen. 'It's very hard--it
is indeed.'
'Look here! Read the letter for yourselves! Do!'
They declined, and begged him not to insist.
'But I want you to see what kind of girl she is. It isn't a case
of farcical deceiving--not a bit of it! She implores me to
forgive her, and blames herself no end. Just my luck! The third--
no, the fourth time, by Jove! Never was such an unlucky fellow
with women. It's because I'm so damnably poor; that's it, of
course!'
Reardon and his companion succeeded at length in getting away,
though not till they had heard the virtues and beauty of the
vanished girl described again and again in much detail. Both were
in a state of depression as they left the house.
'What think you of this story?' asked Biffen. 'Is this possible
in a woman of any merit?'
'Anything is possible in a woman,' Reardon replied, harshly.
They walked in silence as far as Portland Road Station. There,
with an assurance that he would come to a garret-supper before
leaving London, Reardon parted from his friend and turned
westward.
As soon as he had entered, Amy's voice called to him:
'Here's a letter from Jedwood, Edwin!'
He stepped into the study.
'It came just after you went out, and it has been all I could do
to resist the temptation to open it.'
'Why shouldn't you have opened it?' said her husband, carelessly.
He tried to do so himself, but his shaking hand thwarted him at
first. Succeeding at length, he found a letter in the publisher's
own writing, and the first word that caught his attention was
'regret.' With an angry effort to command himself he ran through
the communication, then held it out to Amy.
She read, and her countenance fell. Mr Jedwood regretted that the
story offered to him did not seem likely to please that
particular public to whom his series of one-volume novels made
appeal. He hoped it would be understood that, in declining, he by
no means expressed an adverse judgment on the story itself &c.
'It doesn't surprise me,' said Reardon. 'I believe he is quite
right. The thing is too empty to please the better kind of
readers, yet not vulgar enough to please the worse.'
'But you'll try someone else?'
'I don't think it's much use.'
They sat opposite each other, and kept silence. Jedwood's letter
slipped from Amy's lap to the ground.
'So,' said Reardon, presently, 'I don't see how our plan is to be
carried out.'
'Oh, it must be!'
'But how?'
'You'll get seven or eight pounds from The Wayside. And--hadn't
we better sell the furniture, instead of--'
His look checked her.
'It seems to me, Amy, that your one desire is to get away from
me, on whatever terms.'
'Don't begin that over again!' she exclaimed, fretfully. 'If you
don't believe what I say--'
They were both in a state of intolerable nervous tension. Their
voices quivered, and their eyes had an unnatural brightness.
'If we sell the furniture,' pursued Reardon, 'that means you'll
never come back to me. You wish to save yourself and the child
from the hard life that seems to be before us.'
'Yes, I do; but not by deserting you. I want you to go and work
for us all, so that we may live more happily before long. Oh, how
wretched this is!'
She burst into hysterical weeping. But Reardon, instead of
attempting to soothe her, went into the next room, where he sat
for a long time in the dark. When he returned Amy was calm again;
her face expressed a cold misery.
'Where did you go this morning?' he asked, as if wishing to talk
of common things.
'I told you. I went to buy those things for Willie.'
'Oh yes.'
There was a silence.
'Biffen passed you in Tottenham Court Road,' he added.
'I didn't see him.'
'No; he said you didn't.'
'Perhaps,' said Amy, 'it was just when I was speaking to Mr
Milvain.'
'You met Milvain?'
'Yes.'
'Why didn't you tell me?'
'I'm sure I don't know. I can't mention every trifle that
happens.'
'No, of course not.'
Amy closed her eyes, as if in weariness, and for a minute or two
Reardon observed her countenance.
'So you think we had better sell the furniture.'
'I shall say nothing more about it. You must do as seems best to
you, Edwin.'
'Are you going to see your mother to-morrow?'
'Yes. I thought you would like to come too.'
'No; there's no good in my going.'
He again rose, and that night they talked no more of their
difficulties, though on the morrow (Sunday) it would be necessary
to decide their course in every detail.
Amy did not go to church. Before her marriage she had done so as
a mere matter of course, accompanying her mother, but Reardon's
attitude with regard to the popular religion speedily became her
own; she let the subject lapse from her mind, and cared neither
to defend nor to attack where dogma was concerned. She had no
sympathies with mysticism; her nature was strongly practical,
with something of zeal for intellectual attainment superadded.
This Sunday morning she was very busy with domestic minutiae.
Reardon noticed what looked like preparations for packing, and
being as little disposed for conversation as his wife, he went
out and walked for a couple of hours in the Hampstead region.
Dinner over, Amy at once made ready for her journey to Westbourne
Park.
'Then you won't come?' she said to her husband.
'No. I shall see your mother before I go away, but I don't care
to till you have settled everything.'
It was half a year since he had met Mrs Yule. She never came to
their dwelling, and Reardon could not bring himself to visit her.
'You had very much rather we didn't sell the furniture?' Amy
asked.
'Ask your mother's opinion. That shall decide.'
'There'll be the expense of moving it, you know. Unless money
comes from The Wayside, you'll only have two or three pounds
left.'
Reardon made no reply. He was overcome by the bitterness of
shame.
'I shall say, then,' pursued Amy, who spoke with averted face,
'that I am to go there for good on Tuesday? I mean, of course,
for the summer months.'
'I suppose so.'
Then he turned suddenly upon her.
'Do you really imagine that at the end of the summer I shall be a
rich man? What do you mean by talking in this way? If the
furniture is sold to supply me with a few pounds for the present,
what prospect is there that I shall be able to buy new?'
'How can we look forward at all?' replied Amy. 'It has come to
the question of how we are to subsist. I thought you would rather
get money in this way than borrow of mother--when she has the
expense of keeping me and Willie.'
'You are right,' muttered Reardon. 'Do as you think best.' Amy
was in her most practical mood, and would not linger for
purposeless talk. A few minutes, and Reardon was left alone.
He stood before his bookshelves and began to pick out the volumes
which he would take away with him. Just a few, the indispensable
companions of a bookish man who still clings to life--his Homer,
his Shakespeare--
The rest must be sold. He would get rid of them to-morrow
morning. All together they might bring him a couple of
sovereigns.
Then his clothing. Amy had fulfilled all the domestic duties of a
wife; his wardrobe was in as good a state as circumstances
allowed. But there was no object in burdening himself with winter
garments, for, if he lived through the summer at all, he would be
able to repurchase such few poor things as were needful; at
present he could only think of how to get together a few coins.
So he made a heap of such things as might be sold.
The furniture? If it must go, the price could scarcely be more
than ten or twelve pounds; well, perhaps fifteen. To be sure, in
this way his summer's living would be abundantly provided for.
He thought of Biffen enviously. Biffen, if need be, could support
life on three or four shillings a week, happy in the thought that
no mortal had a claim upon him. If he starved to death--well,
many another lonely man has come to that end. If he preferred to
kill himself, who would be distressed? Spoilt child of fortune!
The bells of St Marylebone began to clang for afternoon service.
In the idleness of dull pain his thoughts followed their summons,
and he marvelled that there were people who could imagine it a
duty or find it a solace to go and sit in that twilight church
and listen to the droning of prayers. He thought of the wretched
millions of mankind to whom life is so barren that they must
needs believe in a recompense beyond the grave. For that he
neither looked nor longed. The bitterness of his lot was that
this world might be a sufficing paradise to him if only he could
clutch a poor little share of current coin. He had won the
world's greatest prize--a woman's love --but could not retain it
because his pockets were empty.
That he should fail to make a great name, this was grievous
disappointment to Amy, but this alone would not have estranged
her. It was the dread and shame of penury that made her heart
cold to him. And he could not in his conscience scorn her for
being thus affected by the vulgar circumstances of life; only a
few supreme natures stand unshaken under such a trial, and though
his love of Amy was still passionate, he knew that her place was
among a certain class of women, and not on the isolated pinnacle
where he had at first visioned her. It was entirely natural that
she shrank at the test of squalid suffering. A little money, and
he could have rested secure in her love, for then he would have
been able to keep ever before her the best qualities of his heart
and brain. Upon him, too, penury had its debasing effect; as he
now presented himself he was not a man to be admired or loved. It
was all simple and intelligible enough--a situation that would be
misread only by shallow idealism.
Worst of all, she was attracted by Jasper Milvain's energy and
promise of success. He had no ignoble suspicions of Amy, but it
was impossible for him not to see that she habitually contrasted
the young journalist, who laughingly made his way among men, with
her grave, dispirited husband, who was not even capable of
holding such position as he had gained. She enjoyed Milvain's
conversation, it put her into a good humour; she liked him
personally, and there could be no doubt that she had observed a
jealous tendency in Reardon's attitude to his former friend--
always a harmful suggestion to a woman. Formerly she had
appreciated her husband's superiority; she had smiled at
Milvain's commoner stamp of mind and character. But tedious
repetition of failure had outwearied her, and now she saw Milvain
in the sunshine of progress, dwelt upon the worldly advantages of
gifts and a temperament such as his. Again, simple and
intelligible enough.
Living apart from her husband, she could not be expected to
forswear society, and doubtless she would see Milvain pretty
often. He called occasionally at Mrs Yule's, and would not do so
less often when he knew that Amy was to be met there. There would
be chance encounters like that of yesterday, of which she had
chosen to keep silence.
A dark fear began to shadow him. In yielding thus passively to
stress of circumstances, was he not exposing his wife to a danger
which outweighed all the ills of poverty? As one to whom she was
inestimably dear, was he right in allowing her to leave him, if
only for a few months? He knew very well that a man of strong
character would never have entertained this project. He had got
into the way of thinking of himself as too weak to struggle
against the obstacles on which Amy insisted, and of looking for
safety in retreat; but what was to be the end of this weakness if
the summer did not at all advance him? He knew better than Amy
could how unlikely it was that he should recover the energies of
his mind in so short a time and under such circumstances; only
the feeble man's temptation to postpone effort had made him
consent to this step, and now that he was all but beyond turning
back, the perils of which he had thought too little forced
themselves upon his mind.
He rose in anguish, and stood looking about him as if aid might
somewhere be visible.
Presently there was a knock at the front door, and on opening he
beheld the vivacious Mr Carter. This gentleman had only made two
or three calls here since Reardon's marriage; his appearance was
a surprise.
'I hear you are leaving town for a time,' he exclaimed. 'Edith
told me yesterday, so I thought I'd look you up.'
He was in spring costume, and exhaled fresh odours. The contrast
between his prosperous animation and Reardon's broken-spirited
quietness could not have been more striking.
'Going away for your health, they tell me. You've been working
too hard, you know. You mustn't overdo it. And where do you think
of going to?'
'It isn't at all certain that I shall go,' Reardon replied. 'I
thought of a few weeks--somewhere at the seaside.'
'I advise you to go north,' went on Carter cheerily. 'You want a
tonic, you know. Get up into Scotland and do some boating and
fishing--that kind of thing. You'd come back a new man. Edith and
I had a turn up there last year, you know; it did me heaps of
good.'
'Oh, I don't think I should go so far as that.'
'But that's just what you want--a regular change, something
bracing. You don't look at all well, that's the fact. A winter in
London tries any man--it does me, I know. I've been seedy myself
these last few weeks. Edith wants me to take her over to Paris at
the end of this month, and I think it isn't a bad idea; but I'm
so confoundedly busy. In the autumn we shall go to Norway, I
think; it seems to be the right thing to do nowadays. Why
shouldn't you have a run over to Norway? They say it can be done
very cheaply; the steamers take you for next to nothing.'
He talked on with the joyous satisfaction of a man whose income
is assured, and whose future teems with a succession of lively
holidays. Reardon could make no answer to such suggestions; he
sat with a fixed smile on his face.
'Have you heard,' said Carter, presently, 'that we're opening a
branch of the hospital in the City Road?'
'No; I hadn't heard of it.'
'It'll only be for out-patients. Open three mornings and three
evenings alternately.'
'Who'll represent you there?''I shall look in now and then, of
course; there'll be a clerk, like at the old place.'
He talked of the matter in detail--of the doctors who would
attend, and of certain new arrangements to be tried.
'Have you engaged the clerk?' Reardon asked.
'Not yet. I think I know a man who'll suit me, though.'
'You wouldn't be disposed to give me the chance?'
Reardon spoke huskily, and ended with a broken laugh.
'You're rather above my figure nowadays, old man!' exclaimed
Carter, joining in what he considered the jest.
'Shall you pay a pound a week?'
'Twenty-five shillings. It'll have to be a man who can be trusted
to take money from the paying patients.'
'Well, I am serious. Will you give me the place?'
Carter gazed at him, and checked another laugh.
'What the deuce do you mean?'
'The fact is,' Reardon replied, 'I want variety of occupation. I
can't stick at writing for more than a month or two at a time.
It's because I have tried to do so that--well, practically, I
have broken down. If you will give me this clerkship, it will
relieve me from the necessity of perpetually writing novels; I
shall be better for it in every way. You know that I'm equal to
the job; you can trust me; and I dare say I shall be more useful
than most clerks you could get.'
It was done, most happily done, on the first impulse. A minute
more of pause, and he could not have faced the humiliation. His
face burned, his tongue was parched.
'I'm floored!' cried Carter. 'I shouldn't have thought--but of
course, if you really want it. I can hardly believe yet that
you're serious, Reardon.'
'Why not? Will you promise me the work?'
'Well, yes.'
'When shall I have to begin?'
'The place'll be opened to-morrow week. But how about your
holiday?'
'Oh, let that stand over. It'll be holiday enough to occupy
myself in a new way. An old way, too; I shall enjoy it.'
He laughed merrily, relieved beyond measure at having come to
what seemed an end of his difficulties. For half an hour they
continued to talk over the affair.
'Well, it's a comical idea,' said Carter, as he took his leave,
'but you know your own business best.'
When Amy returned, Reardon allowed her to put the child to bed
before he sought any conversation. She came at length and sat
down in the study.
'Mother advises us not to sell the furniture,' were her first
words.
'I'm glad of that, as I had quite made up my mind not to.' There
was a change in his way of speaking which she at once noticed.
'Have you thought of something?'
'Yes. Carter has been here, and he happened to mention that
they're opening an out-patient department of the hospital, in the
City Road. He'll want someone to help him there. I asked for the
post, and he promised it me.'
The last words were hurried, though he had resolved to speak with
deliberation. No more feebleness; he had taken a decision, and
would act upon it as became a responsible man.
'The post?' said Amy. 'What post?'
'In plain English, the clerkship. It'll be the same work as I
used to have--registering patients, receiving their "letters,"
and so on. The pay is to be five-and-twenty shillings a week.'
Amy sat upright and looked steadily at him.
'Is this a joke?'
'Far from it, dear. It's a blessed deliverance.'
'You have asked Mr Carter to take you back as a clerk?'
'I have.'
'And you propose that we shall live on twenty-five shillings a
week?'
'Oh no! I shall be engaged only three mornings in the week and
three evenings. In my free time I shall do literary work, and no
doubt I can earn fifty pounds a year by it--if I have your
sympathy to help me. To-morrow I shall go and look for rooms some
distance from here; in Islington, I think. We have been living
far beyond our means; that must come to an end. We'll have no
more keeping up of sham appearances. If I can make my way in
literature, well and good; in that case our position and
prospects will of course change. But for the present we are poor
people, and must live in a poor way. If our friends like to come
and see us, they must put aside all snobbishness, and take us as
we are. If they prefer not to come, there'll be an excuse in our
remoteness.'
Amy was stroking the back of her hand. After a long silence, she
said in a very quiet, but very resolute tone:
'I shall not consent to this.'
'In that case, Amy, I must do without your consent. The rooms
will be taken, and our furniture transferred to them.'
'To me that will make no difference,' returned his wife, in the
same voice as before. 'I have decided--as you told me to--to go
with Willie to mother's next Tuesday. You, of course, must do as
you please. I should have thought a summer at the seaside would
have been more helpful to you; but if you prefer to live in
Islington--'
Reardon approached her, and laid a hand on her shoulder.
'Amy, are you my wife, or not?'
'I am certainly not the wife of a clerk who is paid so much a
week.'
He had foreseen a struggle, but without certainty of the form
Amy's opposition would take. For himself he meant to be gently
resolute, calmly regardless of protest. But in a man to whom such
self-assertion is a matter of conscious effort, tremor of the
nerves will always interfere with the line of conduct he has
conceived in advance. Already Reardon had spoken with far more
bluntness than he proposed; involuntarily, his voice slipped from
earnest determination to the note of absolutism, and, as is wont
to be the case, the sound of these strange tones instigated him
to further utterances of the same kind. He lost control of
himself. Amy's last reply went through him like an electric
shock, and for the moment he was a mere husband defied by his
wife, the male stung to exertion of his brute force against the
physically weaker sex.
'However you regard me, you will do what I think fit. I shall not
argue with you. If I choose to take lodgings in Whitechapel,
there you will come and live.'
He met Amy's full look, and was conscious of that in it which
corresponded to his own brutality. She had become suddenly a much
older woman; her cheeks were tight drawn into thinness, her lips
were bloodlessly hard, there was an unknown furrow along her
forehead, and she glared like the animal that defends itself with
tooth and claw.
'Do as YOU think fit? Indeed!'
Could Amy's voice sound like that? Great Heaven! With just such
accent he had heard a wrangling woman retort upon her husband at
the street corner. Is there then no essential difference between
a woman of this world and one of that? Does the same nature lie
beneath such unlike surfaces?
He had but to do one thing: to seize her by the arm, drag her up
from the chair, dash her back again with all his force--there,
the transformation would be complete, they would stand towards
each other on the natural footing. With an added curse perhaps--
Instead of that, he choked, struggled for breath, and shed tears.
Amy turned scornfully away from him. Blows and a curse would have
overawed her, at all events for the moment; she would have felt:
'Yes, he is a man, and I have put my destiny into his hands.' His
tears moved her to a feeling cruelly exultant; they were the sign
of her superiority. It was she who should have wept, and never in
her life had she been further from such display of weakness.
This could not be the end, however, and she had no wish to
terminate the scene. They stood for a minute without regarding
each other, then Reardon faced to her.
'You refuse to live with me, then?'
'Yes, if this is the kind of life you offer me.'
'You would be more ashamed to share your husband's misfortunes
than to declare to everyone that you had deserted him?'
'I shall "declare to everyone" the simple truth. You have the
opportunity of making one more effort to save us from
degradation. You refuse to take the trouble; you prefer to drag
me down into a lower rank of life. I can't and won't consent to
that. The disgrace is yours; it's fortunate for me that I have a
decent home to go to.'
'Fortunate for you!--you make yourself unutterably contemptible.
I have done nothing that justifies you in leaving me. It is for
me to judge what I can do and what I can't. A good woman would
see no degradation in what I ask of you. But to run away from me
just because I am poorer than you ever thought I should be--'
He was incoherent. A thousand passionate things that he wished to
say clashed together in his mind and confused his speech.
Defeated in the attempt to act like a strong man, he could not
yet recover standing-ground, knew not how to tone his utterances.
'Yes, of course, that's how you will put it,' said Amy. 'That's
how you will represent me to your friends. My friends will see it
in a different light.'
'They will regard you as a martyr?'
'No one shall make a martyr of me, you may be sure. I was
unfortunate enough to marry a man who had no delicacy, no regard
for my feelings.--I am not the first woman who has made a mistake
of this kind.'
'No delicacy? No regard for your feelings?--Have I always utterly
misunderstood you? Or has poverty changed you to a woman I can't
recognise?'
He came nearer, and gazed desperately into her face. Not a muscle
of it showed susceptibility to the old influences.
'Do you know, Amy,' he added in a lower voice, 'that if we part
now, we part for ever?'
'I'm afraid that is only too likely.'
She moved aside.
'You mean that you wish it. You are weary of me, and care for
nothing but how to make yourself free.'
'I shall argue no more. I am tired to death of it.'
'Then say nothing, but listen for the last time to my view of the
position we have come to. When I consented to leave you for a
time, to go away and try to work in solitude, I was foolish and
even insincere, both to you and to myself. I knew that I was
undertaking the impossible. It was just putting off the evil day,
that was all--putting off the time when I should have to say
plainly: "I can't live by literature, so I must look out for some
other employment." I shouldn't have been so weak but that I knew
how you would regard such a decision as that. I was afraid to
tell the truth--afraid. Now, when Carter of a sudden put this
opportunity before me, I saw all the absurdity of the
arrangements we had made. It didn't take me a moment to make up
my mind. Anything was to be chosen rather than a parting from you
on false pretences, a ridiculous affectation of hope where there
was no hope.'
He paused, and saw that his words had no effect upon her.
'And a grievous share of the fault lies with you, Amy. You
remember very well when I first saw how dark the future was. I
was driven even to say that we ought to change our mode of
living; I asked you if you would be willing to leave this place
and go into cheaper rooms. And you know what your answer was. Not
a sign in you that you would stand by me if the worst came. I
knew then what I had to look forward to, but I durst not believe
it. I kept saying to myself: "She loves me, and as soon as she
really understands--" That was all self-deception. If I had been
a wise man, I should have spoken to you in a way you couldn't
mistake. I should have told you that we were living recklessly,
and that I had determined to alter it. I have no delicacy? No
regard for your feelings? Oh, if I had had less! I doubt whether
you can even understand some of the considerations that weighed
with me, and made me cowardly--though I once thought there was no
refinement of sensibility that you couldn't enter into. Yes, I
was absurd enough to say to myself: "It will look as if I had
consciously deceived her; she may suffer from the thought that I
won her at all hazards, knowing that I should soon expose her to
poverty and all sorts of humiliation." Impossible to speak of
that again; I had to struggle desperately on, trying to hope. Oh!
if you knew--'
His voice gave way for an instant.
'I don't understand how you could be so thoughtless and
heartless. You knew that I was almost mad with anxiety at times.
Surely, any woman must have had the impulse to give what help was
in her power. How could you hesitate? Had you no suspicion of
what a relief and encouragement it would be to me, if you said:
"Yes, we must go and live in a simpler way?" If only as a proof
that you loved me, how I should have welcomed that! You helped me
in nothing. You threw all the responsibility upon me--always
bearing in mind, I suppose, that there was a refuge for you. Even
now, I despise myself for saying such things of you, though I
know so bitterly that they are true. It takes a long time to see
you as such a different woman from the one I worshipped. In
passion, I can fling out violent words, but they don't yet answer
to my actual feeling. It will be long enough yet before I think
contemptuously of you. You know that when a light is suddenly
extinguished, the image of it still shows before your eyes. But
at last comes the darkness.'
Amy turned towards him once more.
'Instead of saying all this, you might be proving that I am
wrong. Do so, and I will gladly confess it.'
'That you are wrong? I don't see your meaning.'
'You might prove that you are willing to do your utmost to save
me from humiliation.'
'Amy, I have done my utmost. I have done more than you can
imagine.'
'No. You have toiled on in illness and anxiety--I know that. But
a chance is offered you now of working in a better way. Till that
is tried, you have no right to give all up and try to drag me
down with you.'
'I don't know how to answer. I have told you so often-- You can't
understand me!'
'I can! I can!' Her voice trembled for the first time. 'I know
that you are so ready to give in to difficulties. Listen to me,
and do as I bid you.' She spoke in the strangest tone of command.
It was command, not exhortation, but there was no harshness in
her voice. 'Go at once to Mr Carter. Tell him you have made a
ludicrous mistake--in a fit of low spirits; anything you like to
say. Tell him you of course couldn't dream of becoming his clerk.
To-night; at once! You understand me, Edwin? Go now, this
moment.'
'Have you determined to see how weak I am? Do you wish to be able
to despise me more completely still?'
'I am determined to be your friend, and to save you from
yourself. Go at once! Leave all the rest to me. If I have let
things take their course till now, it shan't be so in future. The
responsibility shall be with me. Only do as I tell you'
'You know it's impossible--'
'It is not! I will find money. No one shall be allowed to say
that we are parting; no one has any such idea yet. You are going
away for your health, just three summer months. I have been far
more careful of appearances than you imagine, but you give me
credit for so little. I will find the money you need, until you
have written another book. I promise; I undertake it. Then I will
find another home for us, of the proper kind. You shall have no
trouble. You shall give yourself entirely to intellectual things.
But Mr Carter must be told at once, before he can spread a
report. If he has spoken, he must contradict what he has said.'
'But you amaze me, Amy. Do you mean to say that you look upon it
as a veritable disgrace, my taking this clerkship?'
'I do. I can't help my nature. I am ashamed through and through
that you should sink to this.'
'But everyone knows that I was a clerk once!'
'Very few people know it. And then that isn't the same thing. It
doesn't matter what one has been in the past. Especially a
literary man; everyone expects to hear that he was once poor. But
to fall from the position you now have, and to take weekly wages
--you surely can't know how people of my world regard that.'
'Of your world? I had thought your world was the same as mine,
and knew nothing whatever of these imbecilities.'
'It is getting late. Go and see Mr Carter, and afterwards I will
talk as much as you like.'
He might perhaps have yielded, but the unemphasised contempt in
that last sentence was more than he could bear. It demonstrated
to him more completely than set terms could have done what a
paltry weakling he would appear in Amy's eyes if he took his hat
down from the peg and set out to obey her orders.
'You are asking too much,' he said, with unexpected coldness. 'If
my opinions are so valueless to you that you dismiss them like
those of a troublesome child, I wonder you think it worth while
to try and keep up appearances about me. It is very simple: make
known to everyone that you are in no way connected with the
disgrace I have brought upon myself. Put an advertisement in the
newspapers to that effect, if you like--as men do about their
wives' debts. I have chosen my part. I can't stultify myself to
please you.'
She knew that this was final. His voice had the true ring of
shame in revolt.
'Then go your way, and I will go mine!'
Amy left the room.
When Reardon went into the bedchamber an hour later, he unfolded
a chair-bedstead that stood there, threw some rugs upon it, and
so lay down to pass the night. He did not close his eyes. Amy
slept for an hour or two before dawn, and on waking she started
up and looked anxiously about the room. But neither spoke.
There was a pretence of ordinary breakfast; the little servant
necessitated that. When she saw her husband preparing to go out,
Amy asked him to come into the study.
'How long shall you be away?' she asked, curtly.
'It is doubtful. I am going to look for rooms.'
'Then no doubt I shall be gone when you come back. There's no
object, now, in my staying here till to-morrow.'
'As you please.'
'Do you wish Lizzie still to come?'
'No. Please to pay her wages and dismiss her. Here is some
money.'
'I think you had better let me see to that.'
He flung the coin on to the table and opened the door. Amy
stepped quickly forward and closed it again.
'This is our good-bye, is it?' she asked, her eyes on the ground.
'As you wish it--yes.'
'You will remember that I have not wished it.'
'In that case, you have only to go with me to the new home.'
'I can't.'
'Then you have made your choice.'
She did not prevent his opening the door this time, and he passed
out without looking at her.
His return was at three in the afternoon. Amy and the child were
gone; the servant was gone. The table in the dining-room was
spread as if for one person's meal.
He went into the bedroom. Amy's trunks had disappeared. The
child's cot was covered over. In the study, he saw that the
sovereign he had thrown on to the table still lay in the same
place.
As it was a very cold day he lit a fire. Whilst it burnt up he
sat reading a torn portion of a newspaper, and became quite
interested in the report of a commercial meeting in the City, a
thing he would never have glanced at under ordinary
circumstances. The fragment fell at length from his hands; his
head drooped; he sank into a troubled sleep.
About six he had tea, then began the packing of the few books
that were to go with him, and of such other things as could be
enclosed in box or portmanteau. After a couple of hours of this
occupation he could no longer resist his weariness, so he went to
bed. Before falling asleep he heard the two familiar clocks
strike eight; this evening they were in unusual accord, and the
querulous notes from the workhouse sounded between the deeper
ones from St Marylebone. Reardon tried to remember when he had
last observed this; the matter seemed to have a peculiar interest
for him, and in dreams he worried himself with a grotesque
speculation thence derived.
Before her marriage Mrs Edmund Yule was one of seven motherless
sisters who constituted the family of a dentist slenderly
provided in the matter of income. The pinching and paring which
was a chief employment of her energies in those early days had
disagreeable effects upon a character disposed rather to
generosity than the reverse; during her husband's lifetime she
had enjoyed rather too eagerly all the good things which he put
at her command, sometimes forgetting that a wife has duties as
well as claims, and in her widowhood she indulged a
pretentiousness and querulousness which were the natural, but not
amiable, results of suddenly restricted circumstances.
Like the majority of London people, she occupied a house of which
the rent absurdly exceeded the due proportion of her income, a
pleasant foible turned to such good account by London landlords.
Whereas she might have lived with a good deal of modest comfort,
her existence was a perpetual effort to conceal the squalid
background of what was meant for the eyes of her friends and
neighbours. She kept only two servants, who were so ill paid and
so relentlessly overworked that it was seldom they remained with
her for more than three months. In dealings with other people
whom she perforce employed, she was often guilty of incredible
meanness; as, for instance, when she obliged her half-starved
dressmaker to purchase material for her, and then postponed
payment alike for that and for the work itself to the last
possible moment. This was not heartlessness in the strict sense
of the word; the woman not only knew that her behaviour was
shameful, she was in truth ashamed of it and sorry for her
victims. But life was a battle. She must either crush or be
crushed. With sufficient means, she would have defrauded no one,
and would have behaved generously to many; with barely enough for
her needs, she set her face and defied her feelings, inasmuch as
she believed there was no choice.
She would shed tears over a pitiful story of want, and without
shadow of hypocrisy. It was hard, it was cruel; such things
oughtn't to be allowed in a world where there were so many rich
people. The next day she would argue with her charwoman about
halfpence, and end by paying the poor creature what she knew was
inadequate and unjust. For the simplest reason: she hadn't more
to give, without submitting to privations which she considered
intolerable.
But whilst she could be a positive hyena to strangers, to those
who were akin to her, and those of whom she was fond, her
affectionate kindness was remarkable. One observes this
peculiarity often enough; it reminds one how savage the social
conflict is, in which those little groups of people stand serried
against their common enemies; relentless to all others, among
themselves only the more tender and zealous because of the
ever-impending danger. No mother was ever more devoted. Her son,
a gentleman of quite noteworthy selfishness, had board and
lodging beneath her roof on nominal terms, and under no stress of
pecuniary trouble had Mrs Yule called upon him to make the
slightest sacrifice on her behalf. Her daughter she loved with
profound tenderness, and had no will that was opposed to Amy's.
And it was characteristic of her that her children were never
allowed to understand of what baseness she often became guilty in
the determination to support appearances. John Yule naturally
suspected what went on behind the scenes; on one occasion--since
Amy's marriage--he had involuntarily overheard a dialogue between
his mother and a servant on the point of departing which made
even him feel ashamed. But from Amy every paltriness and meanness
had always been concealed with the utmost care; Mrs Yule did not
scruple to lie heroically when in danger of being detected by her
daughter.
Yet this energetic lady had no social ambitions that pointed
above her own stratum. She did not aim at intimacy with her
superiors; merely at superiority among her intimates. Her circle
was not large, but in that circle she must be regarded with the
respect due to a woman of refined tastes and personal
distinction. Her little dinners might be of rare occurrence, but
to be invited must be felt a privilege. 'Mrs Edmund Yule' must
sound well on people's lips; never be the occasion of those
peculiar smiles which she herself was rather fond of indulging at
the mention of other people's names.
The question of Amy's marriage had been her constant thought from
the time when the little girl shot into a woman grown. For Amy no
common match, no acceptance of a husband merely for money or
position. Few men who walked the earth were mates for Amy. But
years went on, and the man of undeniable distinction did not yet
present himself. Suitors offered, but Amy smiled coldly at their
addresses, in private not seldom scornfully, and her mother,
though growing anxious, approved. Then of a sudden appeared Edwin
Reardon.
A literary man? Well, it was one mode of distinction. Happily, a
novelist; novelists now and then had considerable social success.
Mr Reardon, it was true, did not impress one as a man likely to
push forward where the battle called for rude vigour, but Amy
soon assured herself that he would have a reputation far other
than that of the average successful storyteller. The best people
would regard him; he would be welcomed in the penetralia of
culture; superior persons would say: 'Oh, I don't read novels as
a rule, but of course Mr Reardon's--' If that really were to be
the case, all was well; for Mrs Yule could appreciate social and
intellectual differences.
Alas! alas! What was the end of those shining anticipations?
First of all, Mrs Yule began to make less frequent mention of 'my
son-in-law, Mr Edwin Reardon.' Next, she never uttered his name
save when inquiries necessitated it. Then, the most intimate of
her intimates received little hints which were not quite easy to
interpret. 'Mr Reardon is growing so very eccentric--has an odd
distaste for society--occupies himself with all sorts of out-of-
the-way interests. No, I'm afraid we shan't have another of his
novels for some time. I think he writes anonymously a good deal.
And really, such curious eccentricities!' Many were the tears she
wept after her depressing colloquies with Amy; and, as was to be
expected, she thought severely of the cause of these sorrows. On
the last occasion when he came to her house she received him with
such extreme civility that Reardon thenceforth disliked her,
whereas before he had only thought her a good-natured and silly
woman.
Alas for Amy's marriage with a man of distinction! From step to
step of descent, till here was downright catastrophe. Bitter
enough in itself, but most lamentable with reference to the
friends of the family. How was it to be explained, this return of
Amy to her home for several months, whilst her husband was no
further away than Worthing? The bald, horrible truth--impossible!
Yet Mr Milvain knew it, and the Carters must guess it. What
colour could be thrown upon such vulgar distress?
The worst was not yet. It declared itself this May morning, when,
quite unexpectedly, a cab drove up to the house, bringing Amy and
her child, and her trunks, and her band-boxes, and her what-nots.
From the dining-room window Mrs Yule was aware of this arrival,
and in a few moments she learnt the unspeakable cause.
She burst into tears, genuine as ever woman shed.
'There's no use in that, mother,' said Amy, whose temper was in a
dangerous state. 'Nothing worse can happen, that's one
consolation.'
'Oh, it's disgraceful! disgraceful!' sobbed Mrs Yule. 'What we
are to say I can NOT think.'
'I shall say nothing whatever. People can scarcely have the
impertinence to ask us questions when we have shown that they are
unwelcome.'
'But there are some people I can't help giving some explanation
to. My dear child, he is not in his right mind. I'm convinced of
it, there! He is not in his right mind.'
'That's nonsense, mother. He is as sane as I am.'
'But you have often said what strange things he says and does;
you know you have, Amy. That talking in his sleep; I've thought a
great deal of it since you told me about that. And--and so many
other things. My love, I shall give it to be understood that he
has become so very odd in his ways that--'
'I can't have that,' replied Amy with decision. 'Don't you see
that in that case I should be behaving very badly?'
'I can't see that at all. There are many reasons, as you know
very well, why one shouldn't live with a husband who is at all
suspected of mental derangement. You have done your utmost for
him. And this would be some sort of explanation, you know. I am
so convinced that there is truth in it, too.'
'Of course I can't prevent you from saying what you like, but I
think it would be very wrong to start a rumour of this kind.'
There was less resolve in this utterance. Amy mused, and looked
wretched.
'Come up to the drawing-room, dear,' said her mother, for they
had held their conversation in the room nearest to the
house-door. 'What a state your mind must be in! Oh dear! Oh
dear!'
She was a slender, well-proportioned woman, still pretty in face,
and dressed in a way that emphasised her abiding charms. Her
voice had something of plaintiveness, and altogether she was of
frailer type than her daughter.
'Is my room ready?' Amy inquired on the stairs.
'I'm sorry to say it isn't, dear, as I didn't expect you till
tomorrow. But it shall be seen to immediately.'
This addition to the household was destined to cause grave
difficulties with the domestic slaves. But Mrs Yule would prove
equal to the occasion. On Amy's behalf she would have worked her
servants till they perished of exhaustion before her eyes.
'Use my room for the present,' she added. 'I think the girl has
finished up there. But wait here; I'll just go and see to
things.'
'Things' were not quite satisfactory, as it proved. You should
have heard the change that came in that sweetly plaintive voice
when it addressed the luckless housemaid. It was not brutal; not
at all. But so sharp, hard, unrelenting--the voice of the goddess
Poverty herself perhaps sounds like that.
Mad? Was he to be spoken of in a low voice, and with finger
pointing to the forehead? There was something ridiculous, as well
as repugnant, in such a thought; but it kept possession of Amy's
mind. She was brooding upon it when her mother came into the
drawing-room.
'And he positively refused to carry out the former plan?'
'Refused. Said it was useless.'
'How could it be useless? There's something so unaccountable in
his behaviour.'
'I don't think it unaccountable,' replied Amy. 'It's weak and
selfish, that's all. He takes the first miserable employment that
offers rather than face the hard work of writing another book.'
She was quite aware that this did not truly represent her
husband's position. But an uneasiness of conscience impelled her
to harsh speech.
'But just fancy!' exclaimed her mother. 'What can he mean by
asking you to go and live with him on twenty-five shillings a
week? Upon my word. if his mind isn't disordered he must have
made a deliberate plan to get rid of you.'
Amy shook her head.
'You mean,' asked Mrs Yule, 'that he really thinks it possible
for all of you to be supported on those wages?'
The last word was chosen to express the utmost scorn.
'He talked of earning fifty pounds a year by writing.'
'Even then it could only make about a hundred a year. My dear
child, it's one of two things: either he is out of his mind, or
he has purposely cast you off.'
Amy laughed, thinking of her husband in the light of the latter
alternative.
'There's no need to seek so far for explanations,' she said. 'He
has failed, that's all; just like a man might fail in any other
business. He can't write like he used to. It may be all the
result of ill-health; I don't know. His last book, you see, is
positively refused. He has made up his mind that there's nothing
but poverty before him, and he can't understand why I should
object to live like the wife of a working-man.'
'Well, I only know that he has placed you in an exceedingly
difficult position. If he had gone away to Worthing for the
summer we might have made it seem natural; people are always
ready to allow literary men to do rather odd things--up to a
certain point. We should have behaved as if there were nothing
that called for explanation. But what are we to do now?'
Like her multitudinous kind, Mrs Yule lived only in the opinions
of other people. What others would say was her ceaseless
preoccupation. She had never conceived of life as something
proper to the individual; independence in the directing of one's
course seemed to her only possible in the case of very eccentric
persons, or of such as were altogether out of society. Amy had
advanced, intellectually, far beyond this standpoint, but lack of
courage disabled her from acting upon her convictions.
'People must know the truth, I suppose,' she answered
dispiritedly.
Now, confession of the truth was the last thing that would occur
to Mrs Yule when social relations were concerned. Her whole
existence was based on bold denial of actualities. And, as is
natural in such persons, she had the ostrich instinct strongly
developed; though very acute in the discovery of her friends'
shams and lies, she deceived herself ludicrously in the matter of
concealing her own embarrassments.
'But the fact is, my dear,' she answered, 'we don't know the
truth ourselves. You had better let yourself be directed by me.
It will be better, at first, if you see as few people as
possible. I suppose you must say something or other to two or
three of your own friends; if you take my advice you'll be rather
mysterious. Let them think what they like; anything is better
than to say plainly. "My husband can't support me, and he has
gone to work as a clerk for weekly wages." Be mysterious,
darling; depend upon it, that's the safest.'
The conversation was pursued, with brief intervals, all through
the day. In the afternoon two ladies paid a call, but Amy kept
out of sight. Between six and seven John Yule returned from his
gentlemanly occupations. As he was generally in a touchy temper
before dinner had soothed him, nothing was said to him of the
latest development of his sister's affairs until late in the
evening; he was allowed to suppose that Reardon's departure for
the seaside had taken place a day sooner than had been arranged.
Behind the dining-room was a comfortable little chamber set apart
as John's sanctum; here he smoked and entertained his male
friends, and contemplated the portraits of those female ones who
would not have been altogether at their ease in Mrs Yule's
drawing-room. Not long after dinner his mother and sister came to
talk with him in this retreat.
With some nervousness Mrs Yule made known to him what had taken
place. Amy, the while, stood by the table, and glanced over a
magazine that she had picked up.
'Well, I see nothing to be surprised at,' was John's first
remark. 'It was pretty certain he'd come to this. But what I want
to know is, how long are we to be at the expense of supporting
Amy and her youngster?'
This was practical, and just what Mrs Yule had expected from her
son.
'We can't consider such things as that,' she replied. 'You don't
wish, I suppose, that Amy should go and live in a back street at
Islington, and be hungry every other day, and soon have no decent
clothes?'
'I don't think Jack would be greatly distressed,' Amy put in
quietly.
'This is a woman's way of talking,' replied John. 'I want to know
what is to be the end of it all? I've no doubt it's uncommonly
pleasant for Reardon to shift his responsibilities on to our
shoulders. At this rate I think I shall get married, and live
beyond my means until I can hold out no longer, and then hand my
wife over to her relatives, with my compliments. It's about the
coolest business that ever came under my notice.'
'But what is to be done?' asked Mrs Yule. 'It's no use talking
sarcastically, John, or making yourself disagreeable.'
'We are not called upon to find a way out of the difficulty. The
fact of the matter is, Reardon must get a decent berth. Somebody
or other must pitch him into the kind of place that suits men who
can do nothing in particular. Carter ought to be able to help, I
should think.'
'You know very well,' said Amy, 'that places of that kind are not
to be had for the asking. It may be years before any such
opportunity offers.'
'Confound the fellow! Why the deuce doesn't he go on with his
novel-writing? There's plenty of money to be made out of novels.'
'But he can't write, Jack. He has lost his talent.'
'That's all bosh, Amy. If a fellow has once got into the swing of
it he can keep it up if he likes. He might write his two novels a
year easily enough, just like twenty other men and women. Look
here, I could do it myself if I weren't too lazy. And that's
what's the matter with Reardon. He doesn't care to work.'
'I have thought that myself;' observed Mrs Yule. 'It really is
too ridiculous to say that he couldn't write some kind of novels
if he chose. Look at Miss Blunt's last book; why, anybody could
have written that. I'm sure there isn't a thing in it I couldn't
have imagined myself.'
'Well, all I want to know is, what's Amy going to do if things
don't alter?'
'She shall never want a home as long as I have one to share with
her.'
John's natural procedure, when beset by difficulties, was to find
fault with everyone all round, himself maintaining a position of
irresponsibility.
'It's all very well, mother, but when a girl gets married she
takes her husband, I have always understood, for better or worse,
just as a man takes his wife. To tell the truth, it seems to me
Amy has put herself in the wrong. It's deuced unpleasant to go
and live in back streets, and to go without dinner now and then,
but girls mustn't marry if they're afraid to face these things.'
'Don't talk so monstrously, John!' exclaimed his mother. 'How
could Amy possibly foresee such things? The case is quite an
extraordinary one.'
'Not so uncommon, I assure you. Some one was telling me the other
day of a married lady--well educated and blameless--who goes to
work at a shop somewhere or other because her husband can't
support her.'
'And you wish to see Amy working in a shop?'
'No, I can't say I do. I'm only telling you that her bad luck
isn't unexampled. It's very fortunate for her that she has
good-natured relatives.'
Amy had taken a seat apart. She sat with her head leaning on her
hand.
'Why don't you go and see Reardon?' John asked of his mother.
'What would be the use? Perhaps he would tell me to mind my own
business.'
'By jingo! precisely what you would be doing. I think you ought
to see him and give him to understand that he's behaving in a
confoundedly ungentlemanly way. Evidently he's the kind of fellow
that wants stirring up. I've half a mind to go and see him
myself. Where is this slum that he's gone to live in?'
'We don't know his address yet.'
'So long as it's not the kind of place where one would be afraid
of catching a fever, I think it wouldn't be amiss for me to look
him up.'
'You'll do no good by that,' said Amy, indifferently.
'Confound it! It's just because nobody does anything that things
have come to this pass!'
The conversation was, of course, profitless. John could only
return again and again to his assertion that Reardon must get 'a
decent berth.' At length Amy left the room in weariness and
disgust.
'I suppose they have quarrelled terrifically,' said her brother,
as soon as she was gone.
'I am afraid so.'
'Well, you must do as you please. But it's confounded hard lines
that you should have to keep her and the kid. You know I can't
afford to contribute.'
'My dear, I haven't asked you to.'
'No, but you'll have the devil's own job to make ends meet; I
know that well enough.'
'I shall manage somehow.'
'All right; you're a plucky woman, but it's too bad. Reardon's a
humbug, that's my opinion. I shall have a talk with Carter about
him. I suppose he has transferred all their furniture to the
slum?'
'He can't have removed yet. It was only this morning that he went
to search for lodgings.'
'Oh, then I tell you what it is: I shall look in there the first
thing to-morrow morning, and just talk to him in a fatherly way.
You needn't say anything to Amy. But I see he's just the kind of
fellow that, if everyone leaves him alone, he'll be content with
Carter's five-and-twenty shillings for the rest of his life, and
never trouble his head about how Amy is living.'
To this proposal Mrs Yule readily assented. On going upstairs she
found that Amy had all but fallen asleep upon a settee in the
drawing-room.
'You are quite worn out with your troubles,' she said. 'Go to
bed, and have a good long sleep.'
'Yes, I will.'
The neat, fresh bedchamber seemed to Amy a delightful haven of
rest. She turned the key in the door with an enjoyment of the
privacy thus secured such as she had never known in her life; for
in maidenhood safe solitude was a matter of course to her, and
since marriage she had not passed a night alone. Willie was fast
asleep in a little bed shadowed by her own. In an impulse of
maternal love and gladness she bent over the child and covered
his face with kisses too gentle to awaken him.
How clean and sweet everything was! It is often said, by people
who are exquisitely ignorant of the matter, that cleanliness is a
luxury within reach even of the poorest. Very far from that; only
with the utmost difficulty, with wearisome exertion, with
harassing sacrifice, can people who are pinched for money
preserve a moderate purity in their persons and their
surroundings. By painful degrees Amy had accustomed herself to
compromises in this particular which in the early days of her
married life would have seemed intensely disagreeable, if not
revolting. A housewife who lives in the country, and has but a
patch of back garden, or even a good-sized kitchen, can, if she
thinks fit, take her place at the wash-tub and relieve her mind
on laundry matters; but to the inhabitant of a miniature flat in
the heart of London anything of that kind is out of the question.
When Amy began to cut down her laundress's bill, she did it with
a sense of degradation. One grows accustomed, however, to such
unpleasant necessities, and already she had learnt what was the
minimum of expenditure for one who is troubled with a lady's
instincts.
No, no; cleanliness is a costly thing, and a troublesome thing
when appliances and means have to be improvised. It was, in part,
the understanding she had gained of this side of the life of
poverty that made Amy shrink in dread from the still narrower
lodgings to which Reardon invited her. She knew how subtly one's
self-respect can be undermined by sordid conditions. The
difference between the life of well-to-do educated people and
that of the uneducated poor is not greater in visible details
than in the minutiae of privacy, and Amy must have submitted to
an extraordinary change before it would have been possible for
her to live at ease in the circumstances which satisfy a decent
working-class woman. She was prepared for final parting from her
husband rather than try to effect that change in herself.
She undressed at leisure, and stretched her limbs in the cold,
soft, fragrant bed. A sigh of profound relief escaped her. How
good it was to be alone!
And in a quarter of an hour she was sleeping as peacefully as the
child who shared her room.
At breakfast in the morning she showed a bright, almost a happy
face. It was long, long since she had enjoyed such a night's
rest, so undisturbed with unwelcome thoughts on the threshold of
sleep and on awaking. Her life was perhaps wrecked, but the
thought of that did not press upon her; for the present she must
enjoy her freedom. It was like a recovery of girlhood. There are
few married women who would not, sooner or later, accept with joy
the offer of some months of a maidenly liberty. Amy would not
allow herself to think that her wedded life was at an end. With a
woman's strange faculty of closing her eyes against facts that do
not immediately concern her, she tasted the relief of the present
and let the future lie unregarded. Reardon would get out of his
difficulties sooner or later; somebody or other would help him;
that was the dim background of her agreeable sensations.
He suffered, no doubt. But then it was just as well that he
should. Suffering would perhaps impel him to effort. When he
communicated to her his new address--he could scarcely neglect to
do that--she would send a not unfriendly letter, and hint to him
that now was his opportunity for writing a book, as good a book
as those which formerly issued from his garret-solitude. If he
found that literature was in truth a thing of the past with him,
then he must exert himself to obtain a position worthy of an
educated man. Yes, in this way she would write to him, without a
word that could hurt or offend.
She ate an excellent breakfast, and made known her enjoyment of
it.
'I am so glad!' replied her mother. 'You have been getting quite
thin and pale.'
'Quite consumptive,' remarked John, looking up from his
newspaper. 'Shall I make arrangements for a daily landau at the
livery stables round here?'
'You can if you like,' replied his sister; 'it would do both
mother and me good, and I have no doubt you could afford it quite
well.'
'Oh, indeed! You're a remarkable young woman, let me tell you.
By-the-bye, I suppose your husband is breakfasting on bread and
water?'
'I hope not, and I don't think it very likely.'
'Jack, Jack!' interposed Mrs Yule, softly.
Her son resumed his paper, and at the end of the meal rose with
an unwonted briskness to make his preparations for departure.
Nor would it be true to represent Edwin Reardon as rising to the
new day wholly disconsolate. He too had slept unusually well, and
with returning consciousness the sense of a burden removed was
more instant than that of his loss and all the dreary
circumstances attaching to it. He had no longer to fear the
effects upon Amy of such a grievous change as from their homelike
flat to the couple of rooms he had taken in Islington; for the
moment, this relief helped him to bear the pain of all that had
happened and the uneasiness which troubled him when he reflected
that his wife was henceforth a charge to her mother.
Of course for the moment only. He had no sooner begun to move
about, to prepare his breakfast (amid the relics of last
evening's meal), to think of all the detestable work he had to do
before to-morrow night, than his heart sank again. His position
was well-nigh as dolorous as that of any man who awoke that
morning to the brutal realities of life. If only for the shame of
it! How must they be speaking of him, Amy's relatives, and her
friends? A novelist who couldn't write novels; a husband who
couldn't support his wife and child; a literate who made eager
application for illiterate work at paltry wages--how interesting
it would all sound in humorous gossip! And what hope had he that
things would ever be better with him?
Had he done well? Had he done wisely? Would it not have been
better to have made that one last effort? The